Setting
Default Location for Purgatory Remix
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Purgatory. is a part of 
Purgatory Remix.
14 Characters Here
Calliope [207] Muse of Epic Poetry: "This poem would be better with aliens."
Olivia Azuel-Marina [150]
Florissa D. Blackenshield [108] A voluptuous and fiery (literally) arms dealer.
Alekzander Caine [74] "Curses? What do you know of curses child?"
Edward Racket [68] Fox Demon/Wall Street Villain/Alien/All-Purpose Minion: "Blame the voices in my head, not me."
"Jig" Blackenshield [54] Cruel and Unusual
Fagin Sochet Cagliostro [48] "I am a thistle sifter, a soul collector, a flawless lover and a terrible husband. Let's get rowdy, shall we?"
Joseph Jackals Juniro [30] Depressed poet extraordinaire.
Alexandra [17] Angel: "I am God."
Re-L Mayer [1] ''I am not accepted, never will be. For what I am is unthinkable to the people here or everywhere for that matter.''
Start Character Here »
"Never heard of us, huh? Well, that's how you know how good we are at getting by undetected. So what can I interest you in?" From somewhere within the ruffles of her dress she pulled out a massive catalogue and shoved it towards Edward. "Everything you see inside is purchasable. We've got cannons, battleaxes, nunchucks, gunchucks, chainsaw scissors...And if you don't see anything you like, we do work on commission."
"No, like an arm." He motioned to his own arm. "You know, the things that begin at your shoulder and end at your fingers? Fox is doing some sort of weird ritual thing." He looked around the black market district. "I coulda sworn there were arms dealers somewhere around here. But I'll take a cannon, while I'm here."
"Ohhh...," Flo paused in thought. "Actually, I think we do have some of those kind of arms lying around somewhere. They were supposed to be ammunition for a new kind of weapon we were developing, but it turns out, so now we have this warehouse full of appendages down by the docks."
She had a whole warehouse down by the docks? This was a bigger operation than Edward had realized. If she kept hedging in on the market, then Fox was going to be pissed, and Edward did not want Fox to be pissed. A pissed Fox tended to do irrational things, like kill Edward permanently. "That would be great," said Edward, while he tried to think up a way to kill her.
"Yeah. The weapon was...get this...a hand cannon." With this Florissa game a ridiculous beaming grin.
((Lol lol lol at this whole conversation.)) Edward didn't get the joke and stared blankly at her, but Kit started snickering in the piano lounge. Even Destroyer murmured Destroy with the tiniest bit of an amused tone. "A hand cannon would never work," said Edward matter-of-factly. "The hands would probably explode and go everywhere. You couldn't aim it."
Florissa folded her arms and looked up, pondering the subject. "Well, it was intended to be inscribed with necromantic runes that would reanimate hands, meaning they could be shot at a target, grab on to them, and I dunno, strangle them or something. But yeah, research and development was having a tough time with logistics. So how about it." She whirled around a few times, prancing to Edward's other side. "Shall we take a trip to take a look at the merchandise?"
I like this girl, said Kit, in response to the weapons design. "Sure," said Edward. Never a bad idea to check out the enemy's territory. And he would be able to see how extensive this arms dealing really was. And he would get some arms. And a cannon.
The warehouse was fairly average-sized...for a dockside warehouse, anyway. Nondescript crates were stacked every which way. Florissa pried the top off one with a nearby crowbar, fished something out of it, and then hammered the nail back in. "We share this warehouse with a small-time drug ring," she explained, and tossed him a clear plastic bag full of white powder. She kept another for herself and stuffed it somewhere under her skirt.
Edward had worked on Wall Street, but he had long lost his appetite for drugs. "Oh, I think I know the drug ring. Billy and his boys, right? Yeah, they pay the five percent. Just sayin'. And you know, you guys should be careful. Bureau's been cracking down on the docks recently. But if you help out Fox, he helps you out. You wouldn't have to worry about any suits coming down here." He tugged at the cuffs on his suit jacket. "'Cept for me, of course."
"HA!" Florissa broke into a scoffing laugh. "I'd like to see them try. Any g-men come down here and they'll be staring down the business end of a triple-barrle sawn-off shotgun. And then BLOCKAOW! BLOCKAOW!"
"I like your sound effects," said Edward. He opened his mouth to inquire as to whether she had actually ever met someone from the Bureau, as they could be effing scary sometimes, but he shut his mouth when he realized that he had hit upon the perfect plan and that half of it depending on him not jeopardizing his already rocky relationship with her. "Um...Florissa, right? You in the assassination game at all?"
"Not really. I mean, not as a business, anyways. I mean, obviously, if someone steps to me I gotta give em the old--" she stuck out her pointer finger, pulled back her thumb, and clicked her tongue. "--But I don't want to expand my business angles too much at this point."
"Really?" Edward frowned. "That's disappointing. I just thought, you know, you were the perfect person for the job. And this person, she's - you know - been talking some shit about you."
Florissa bit her lip. "OHOHOHOHOHOH! That is exactly what I am talking about. I mean, I didn't want to take money for kills because I didn't want to step on no toes of no Assassin's Guild or nothing, but you're telling me someone is out there smacktalking my clique? Damn. I can't let that slide. Tell me who it is and I will bitchslap that whore." She spun around and punched a whole clear through a crate, leaving a smoldering hole in the wood. More packages of cocaine spilled out. Flo turned around, a tinge sheepishly. "Ooh. Guess we're lucky that was one of the drug-runners' crates and not one of my crates of explosive."
Edward was trying to make like he was her friend, but that last moment was making it exceptionally difficult. "Ah hah hah hah hah," he said, rubbing the back of his head in a sheepish manner. "We got lucky, huh?" You crazy @#$#@%@ - "Yeah, this girl, she was saying real nasty stuff. Like, that your weapons couldn't kill a kitten. And stuff about your mother." He began to tick off his fingers in a list. "Name-calling, too. Said you were a - what was it again? Oh, yeah. A yellow-belly coward who couldn't punch her way out of a paper bag. And she said that you didn't even need a strap-on, you know what I mean?" He sighed. "Yeah, that muse who runs the tavern. You know her? Calliope." Two birds with one stone. Calliope was always in Edward's business, ruining his plans, shouting incoherent nonsense about heroics and adventure. It was a win-win situation. Either way, one of them ended up maimed or killed.
"Aw, word? And after I spent night after night spending all my hard earned dimes on liquor at her place? She has to be like that? That bitch is gonna find out there's another muse in this town. It's the muse of horrible spine-wrenchingly godawful anguish. Weapons can't kill a kitten? Well we'll see what she thinks when my weapons kill her entire family friends and clientele not that it will matter because she's going to be following them pretty soon and by "soon" I mean after several years of horrific torture until I get bored and she won't think I'm a coward after I burst into her place with an AK and an SK and punch several fine bullet holes through her goddamn head so she has to choose what piehole she wants to cough up blood from. AND THEN I AM GONNA BEND HER OVER HER OWN BAR AND SODOMIZE HER LIKE A TWO-DOLLAR WHORE."
At this point, she had jumped up on a crate, and clenched her fist, thankfully facing away from Ed as she raved, sparing him the trouble of dodging the shower of spit. She huffed and puffed a bit, and then glanced sidelong down at Edward. "Er...with a strap-on, of course."
At this point, she had jumped up on a crate, and clenched her fist, thankfully facing away from Ed as she raved, sparing him the trouble of dodging the shower of spit. She huffed and puffed a bit, and then glanced sidelong down at Edward. "Er...with a strap-on, of course."
Edward suddenly had wonderful visuals. Kit was not pleased: Oh my god, you freaking pervert - why do I have to share a brain with you it's freaking cruel and unusual punishment, that's what it is... Destroyer was not pleased either: DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY - "Uhm," said Edward, clearing his throat. "I'm glad you feel the same way I do about her. You can do all...erhm, that," Oh my god, screeched Kit, you're still thinking about that?! "And I can even pay you for it. How does that sound? We don't have to tell the Assassin's Guild. You know how many people get murdered in this town without the consent of the Guild?" He paused. "Uhm, a lot." Stop, stop it Ed, STOP thinking about it -
Flo wiped her mouth on her sleeve. "Kill someone that dissed me and get money to do it? Sounds like a plan...er...if you don't mind, I think I'll head down there right now."