"No, don't apologize, Reika-chan. I want you to be as honest with me as you have to be, okay? I will never invalidate your feelings or opinions, no matter what they are."
As he spoke the word 'honest', Reika felt her stomach wrenching, Honest..? She couldn't even attempt being honest at this point. She was already so deep in the lie that she told, thinking it would bring a little damage control to her mishap, she couldn't possibly tell the truth now... Reika had her lunch packed up and ready to go, but she was surprised when Yoichi intercepted her retreat. Unable to glance up at him through tears of embarrassment, Reika stared at the concrete below their feet instead. She felt humiliated. It wasn't so much because it felt like she was being rejected, that was what she wanted him to do after all...
Even so, although Yoichi wasn't the person she had originally planned to give the lovey-dovey bento to it still stung when he responded in such a way. It was comparable to blunt force trauma to her pride regardless of who was turning her down. She wasn't used to rejection or confessing for that matter. There was only one boy Reika had ever gained the courage to confess to... and it was still very traumatizing to think about. This wasn't very different... The only thing that kept her together was the fact that unlike the boy she confessed to in middle school, Yoichi actually cared about her feelings. That, and there was also the little-known detail that she had a crush on Kazuki. It was through a series of misunderstandings that she was here confessing to Yoichi. How could she confess to him that she liked Kazuki when she wasn't even sure if Kazuki would accept her feelings? Reika wiped away her tears on her sleeve, trying to pull herself together. She knew that she would eventually get over this humiliation, but it didn't change the fact that this was embarrassing. If Kurokawa-Senpai doesn't feel the same...that would put Yoichi-kun in a very tricky situation... He'd be in a very awkward place... If he didn't know, perhaps it would spare the friendship. Reika couldn't help but believe that.
"Please don't, I'm really sorry, Reika."
Violet tear filled eyes widened when Reika felt her hands enveloped by Yoichi's. She immediately shook her head when he apologized. If anyone should apologize, it should have been her for being a coward, for pretending she was confessing to him to spare putting herself out there. Reika was used to Yoichi calling her by her first name without honorifics because they grew up together, but it was a lot more embarrassing when anyone else did it. Yoichi was her only childhood friend after all.
"Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, like I always am, 'kay?"
A nod was her initial response, but Reika knew that she owed him more than that. This was a serious issue, and she was dropping all of this on his lap to save herself. She felt incredibly selfish for doing it, but at the time she had been so afraid of how her best friends would respond. Even though Kurokawa had been late, she knew Yoichi would have told him eventually... At least this way Yoichi could turn her down and later on down the road once this was all forgotten she would be able to try again with Kurokawa. Preparing herself for the rejection speech, Reika let out a soft sigh and put on a strong face, "O-Of course." Reika responded, determined and ready for the harsh response. Though the way he clung on to her hands made her nervous. Just how brutally honest was he going to be? She couldn't help but wonder, but she knew he'd get to it very soon. He didn't beat around the bush very long, and she really appreciated that about Yoichi.
"I really love you, Reika, but I'm not sure if it's the same as the way you feel about me... I need time to think about this, alright? I promise that this doesn't change anything between us, but I don't have an answer for you right now."
At first, his words gave Reika a heart attack, but as he continued she understood he meant platonically. Or...not. Wait...He had to think about it?! Reika gazed up at him, then at the city down below them her blush deepening. This was not what she had anticipated. Did he really have to think, or was he trying to spare her feelings..? What if he accepted her confession!? Her entire face turned a dark shade of red. How was she supposed to handle something like this? She never even thought there was a remote possibility that Yoichi might accept the accidental confession, "I understand. Just.. Don't go easy on me because we're friends, okay? I won't hate you if you turn me down. " She assured him, hoping that he would not change his answer out of feelings of guilt or pity for her. Reika wiped her eyes again. How did something that was supposed to be a simple and subtle confession to Kurokawa ever get to be this complicated!? Was the universe so opposed to her confessing to him that it would sabotage her like this?
"Please don't be sad and please don't regret telling me this. I always want you to be honest with me and even with Kurokawa because we're always here for you and we both care about you dearly. Even if what you have to say is difficult."
The hug left her very flustered, remembering how the LAST time he hugged her, he was lacking a shirt....and pants.... Ugh! This isn't the time to be thinking of things like that!! Of course I am starting to regret telling you this. Y-Y-You were supposed to say you don't like me like that! Jeez! Guys like you are never interested in girls like me! Reika thought to herself with a pout on her lips, cheeks a bright shade of pink as she timidly patted his back in the hug, participating a little at least. Why did he need time to think about this? He witnessed all of her awkward stages. How could he possibly have feelings for her like that? Shouldn't it have been easy..? Though when he mentioned honesty again, Reika wanted to crawl into a hole and die somewhere. She had something difficult she needed to say to both him and Kurokawa, yet the words wouldn't come out. She always felt like someone had cut her tongue out whenever it came to confessing how she felt about Kurokawa. I know you both care... but what if he doesn't care in the way I want him to...? Reika thought to herself, nodding her head at Yoichi. She couldn't think of anything to say. She knew she should have told him the truth, that she wasn't trying to confess to him... but then he'd immediately realize who her real target had been all along. Would Yoichi get mad at her for lying? Why did I lie in the first place!? I just made things a lot worse!! Reika you're so stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
"And I don't blame you for falling for me, I mean, look at me."
While she had a delayed reaction from the shock of the hug, she managed to recover quickly enough to respond to his arrogance, "B-Baka! Wipe that smirk off your face!" Reika snapped at him, shoving his shoulder slightly. fuming with irritation. While she normally could look over his cockiness, she hardly believed this was the time. After getting her point across, Reika crossed her arms over her chest, still pouting, "I-I'm not perverted like that! Get over yourself!" she insisted in a flustered manner. Her tears were no longer flowing as heavily or nearly as frequent.
"You don't have to leave, I'm gonna give you some alone time for a bit though and I'll eat my lunch in my room."
Great.. I ran him off... So much for preserving the trio... Reika thought to herself, emotionally beating herself up for even making that bento. If she didn't decorate one and not the other then she would never have gotten into this mess in the first place. If she didn't try to move her relationship with Kurokawa to the next level, there never would have been a misunderstanding to be had. Why did I have to try and change things? I should know by now I can't have things like that...
"Thanks for the lunch, by the way, I'm sure it's awesome, as always."
"Duh..." Reika responded in reference to her food. She knew that she knew how to cook, and she prided herself in her ability to choose fresh vegetables, "O-Oi..." Reika complained when he winked at her. Why was he still doing that, even after she dropped such a heavy topic into his lap..? Was she overthinking things too much..? After she was alone on the roof Reika let out a soft sigh and the tears began flowing freely again. She wanted to fight herself, to punch herself in the mouth for not admitting what was truly in her heart. Though she heard someone else trip on the rooftop, spinning around immediately after she wiped her eyes.
"A-ah, hello Reika-san,"
As if on cue, life was throwing her yet another curveball. She felt like breaking down then and there. She wanted to confess her feelings, yet in her own cowardice she had already done so to Yoichi... she couldn't do that... She knew it would belittle her feelings for Kazuki. Her words wouldn't hold any weight if the two boys called her out. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. It felt like there was no way out, "O-Oh, hey Kurokawa-Senpai." Reika closed her eyes and smiled brightly at him, even though tears still lingered in her eyelashes.
"I ran into Yoichi on the way up. I guess I was late...? I'm really sorry about that! I had to complete some notes, and I thought I'd go get drinks for everybody, and... er..."
Reika blinked a bit when he began explaining himself. She remained quiet, patiently listening. However, she was kind of glad he did not show up sooner. If he had witnessed any of that with Yoichi, she would have probably thrown herself off the roof, protective fence or not. Finally, she was beginning to understand why the faculty felt the need for such things. While she knew she wouldn't actually jump off no matter what happened between the trio, the temptation was there. She felt so helpless.
"Umm... I guess you're already done... but... umm... we don't have anything else on our schedules for at least another hour, and..."
Was he asking her to hang out with him..? Reika did not want to assume anything, but it felt like that was what Kurokawa was trying to say to her. She bit her lip, glancing to the scenery below to clear her mind. Her heart was racing like it always did in his presence. He wasn't a 'bad boy' like Yoichi, nor was his appearance considered 'model like', but she didn't mind any of that. It was moments like this that made Reika fall for Kurokawa, not his physical appearance. His shy personality, it was something she could appreciate.
"And I really missed you over summer! I wanted to get the chance to talk more, but after that fight this morning, well... umm..."
What she heard just then really brightened up her mood. She gawked for a few seconds completely in shock, He..missed me..? Reika smiled a bit, her cheeks turning fairly red. The tears finally fell from her eyes, but her smile and laughter changed the mood entirely. She may have been crying, but at least it was from happiness, right? He missed -me-... This isn't fair...[/i][/color] She thought to herself, wiping her eyes again. She didn't want him to see her crying, but when she looked up she noticed his blush. They were both so painfully awkward, she couldn't help but laugh a bit, "I missed you too, Senpai." she practically sang out. It was very easy to say knowing he felt the same way.
"A-anyway, if it's not too much of a bother... would you be willing to... uh... hang out for a while?"
"I haven't really ate yet so I'd love to, Kurokawa-Senpai. What kind of drinks did you get?" Reika inquired as she slowly made her way over to the fenceline, sitting on the ground this time leaning against the thin metal. She didn't want to sit on the bench she originally sat on with Yoichi. She didn't want to think about that awkward moment again so soon. She couldn't change anything right now, and he didn't accept or deny her. The fact that he had to think about it made Reika think he was still going to say no, so perhaps she wouldn't be in a mess after all? Would I even have the courage to tell the truth...? If he... NO! He wouldn't. Isn't it obvious I like Kurokawa...? He's been with so many girls... I think it would be.... Well.. I hope it isn't...but... UGH! Her thoughts were way too noisy! She opened her bento which only lacked a few bites, looking over to see if Kazuki was going to join her on the concrete. Being alone with him, she was really nervous... There weren't many times when they were together without Yoichi, especially not for over an hour!