epiphany - taylor swift. the light behind your eyes - my chemical romance. mr brightside - the killers. beautiful way - you me at six. therapy - all time low. hurricane - thirty seconds to mars. gimme a minute - pvris.
______________________________
______________________________
H E I G H TXANDXB U I L D: 5'11", scrawny
The thing people most often remark on when referring to Noah is that he pretty much always looks tired. There's pretty much always dark circles under his eyes and his skin is constantly pale from hours indoors. He tries to keep his hair short in the hopes it'll be easier to keep tidy, but even when it's short, his hair falls into curls that are often messy, and his hair often gets a little long. But there's something almost endearing about his tired, exhausted appearance. There's almost a glimmer in his big, dark eyes, and a hint of a smile constantly lingering on his lips. He's usually clean-shaven but it's not uncommon to see him with some stubble after a particularly long shift.
His sense of dress is somewhat eclectic and he has a collection of patterned shirts and ties. At work, he pairs them with skinny fit chinos while he's more used to jeans day-to-day. He has no piercings and a handful of tattoos: the word alive on the outside of his right forearm is his most recent one. He's got a lighthouse on the left side of his ribs, and an astronaut on his right shoulder blade. He's got a few scars, most notably a scar from being stabbed on his stomach and a few smaller, barely noticeable scars on the right side of his face and arm from shrapnel.
______________________________
X
P E R S O N A L I T Y:
Noah is one of those people whose intelligence shines through the minute he opens his mouth. He could have easily let his intelligence carry him through school, but he never did. Noah is incredibly driven and he'll work himself to the point of exhaustion to make sure he gets what he wants. It would be so easy for him to fall into the arrogant doctor stereotype, and everyone would probably forgive him. But Noah is overwhelmingly human. He's kind and gentle with his patients, able to work a smile out of the grouchiest old lady or able to stop a kid from crying. He doesn't have much free time but what free time he does have, he tries to spend it with his friends, even if that results in him falling asleep on them.
Through the years, Noah has been through a lot, which has only just reinforced his kindness. Noah was badly bullied for years growing up and then was forced onto the front lines of a war. He's been through and has seen so much pain and misery and loss that he needs to do something to try and minimise that. He struggles with letting things go. If he loses a patient, he'll pour over everything he did and try and figure out what exactly he did wrong and what he should do differently going forward. Any little mistake he makes is a blow to him, and he takes everything personally. This is prone to making him irritable and he takes any criticism quite harshly. When he's in the process of obsessing over something, he's irritable and especially and overly sensitive. He's prone to shutting himself off from everyone, constantly afraid that everyone will walk away from him. When he's obsessing over something, he's even more prone to shutting himself off or pushing people away, afraid that they'll abandon him for his mistakes.
Noah was never naive or innocent, but being on the front lines of a war stole something from Noah. His stammer has come back, when he does sleep, it's filled with nightmares, and he's jumpy. He's developed a dependence on prescription drugs to numb the pain and to try and keep himself calm and in control. He's putting on a perfect mask to stop everyone from around him from seeing the cracks. People call him a hero, but he doesn't feel much like a hero. He feels like a hero should be able to handle this better, feels like he should be keeping himself together. Everyone thinks he's just being modest when he denies being a hero but he genuinely doesn't consider himself a hero.
Q U I R K SXA N DXO D D I T I E S:
He has a significant stammer that worsens when he's angry or upset and has worsened in recent weeks and months. He hates wearing watches or anything that sits below his wrists. His nails are always short and clean.
F E A R S:
Noah's biggest fear is and always has been making a mistake that gets somebody seriously hurt.
______________________________
Noah was always a bright child, his nose always buried in a book. He was bright and gentle and had a marked stammer, which marked him as a prime target for bullying. For years, his life was made hell. He tried telling his teachers but it only ever got worse. But with time, they got bored and found a different target. Noah's parents found a better speech therapist, and Noah's stammer improved to the point of being barely noticeable and only re-emerging when he was extremely stressed or upset over something.
Noah always knew deep down that he wanted to be a doctor, and nobody knew him was surprised. He was certainly intelligent enough, having skipped seventh grade, and got into Harvard for pre-med with flying colors, and got into med school with ease. In college, he wasn't the awkward, nerdy kid any more. He was among people that understood his enthusiasm, that were as driven as he was, and where he wasn't weird any more. He was quirky and popular and was able to finally grow as a person. He could have gotten into any residency he wanted, but something about emergency medicine called to him.
The revolution had been coming for years, and nobody was surprised when it broke out. But it was more brutal and more violent than anyone had expected. And when they needed medics to go onto the front lines, the fresh, first year residents seemed to be the perfect recruits. Noah was never asked, but he knows deep down he still probably would have volunteered anyway. The protection of a medic vest generally protected him from both sides. But he was given the vest and not much else. While treating a rebel, Noah had a gun pointed at him by a government soldier and he was screamed at to step away. A revolutionary jumped and attacked him while he tended to a soldier. He was stabbed while attempting to save a soldier's life and knocked unconscious while trying to treat a revolutionary. He saw horrific things and treated horrific injuries. He stared down guns and knives and ran headfirst into dangerous situations trying to save lives. And when the war was over and the good guys had won, Noah found it impossible to readjust to normal life.
The cocktail of prescription drugs began as treatment for his injuries and for the post-traumatic stress. Everybody began calling him a hero and praising all the wonderful, brave things he'd done but nobody stopped to think about what it had done to him. When he claimed he suffered from ongoing pain as a result of his injuries, nobody questioned it and just wrote him more prescriptions. His stammer came back and people barely even noticed, instead recommending him for rewards and awards for his bravery and then told him just to get back to work. Noah feels like he can't keep up with the new world and he's stuck in the revolution, in a world that doesn't exist any more.