Setting
â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â°
â° â° â° â° â°
â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â° â°
first person POV â° 2016
Iâm blurry the way children get between naps, rubbing paunchy little fingers at their eyes. Iâm trying to sweep off last nightâs dust but I donât think itâs worth it, because Iâm just going to fall back asleep anyway. On the edge of nineteen, I shouldnât be sleeping the way a toddler does.
âGet him on the fucking table!â The noise is drowned by attempts at whispers. Shuffling. I figure Luca and his friends are drunk again. They mean no trouble. Just men of their devices. Iâm used to it; theyâve practiced being quiet around the house. Luca doesnât like to disturb me for the most part. Not that Iâve ever minded. Recently, however, heâs gotten really p a r t i c u l a r about keeping out of my business. Or rather, making sure I donât have an eye on his.
Light cuts through the shutters, hemorrhaging a reflective yellow onto the sterling crosses I hung up on the loose particle board of my bed frame. It does this every day. Morning. Sometimes dusk. Hits me dead in the face and thatâs it - thereâs no rest for myself, nor the wicked, I guess. Weâre all one in the same. Only human, much to the distaste of other worshippers. Whoops.
The sun has soon come to serve as an alarm clock of Godâs instrument, where my parents once stood and cooed in the doorway. Iâm so tired. But the work is never over. Whether theyâre here, or overseas, or scrubbing steel whisks up and down the robust oak of La Basilicaâs ground level. Iâve taken up the ladder. Not as easy as they made it look.
In spite of the bible, regrettably, thereâs no glory in the morning. I hate it. Iâm not happy to see the old circular clockâs hour hand creeping on to 7AM. T h i s should be an original sin.
Gratitude should shine out of most peopleâs rear end when they wake up. Blessed to see another day. But Iâm a little less than thrilled to hear the pantry being assaulted, and even less to see the sun. What can I say? Sorry, Iâve just never been a morning person. I make up for my dawn lethargy in substantial worship. Promise.
Silver is slung around my neck in very lazy preparation for yet another day. Thank you almighty Lord for this splendid gift. Amen. I loll at my bedroomâs entrance, scrounging with a single open hand to find my glasses by my good old book. I nearly bend the thin wire in my negligence, and donât care much as long as I can see just what in the world is going on beneath me.
Banisterâs whiney against my waist, again I rub my eyes like a tyke and strain my ears. Itâs the only noise in this place that doesnât belong to my brother or his gang of misfits. I hear a lot of shushing and sound swamped in quiet chiding. If I had to guess, it sounds like a drunken mess. But as I lean a little further and get under the frame of my glasses, incessantly rubbing, nosily listeningâŠ
âHeâs gonna bleed,â I hear Damon mention in that immune vernacular they only teach in medical schools.
âCome on, come on,â Luca exhausts, âCĂĄllate la boca, Damon. Just⊠Fucking put pressure or something!â
âGet it out of me!â Who is that?âŠ
âGet it the fuck out of me!â
A blunt, inanimate din echoes in a short story. The house is a little too taciturn and eerie. Itâs sudden. My worst fears jump between horror movie plots and bad water in Mexico and Iâm wondering just how wild the night got for the boys below. They have no idea Iâm here. Itâs as if I donât exist at all. Thereâs glass between us, and I havenât bothered to look down because Iâve been mostly indifferent and trying not to see sun spots this entire time andâŠ
Something cuts loose from my face, but not words or anxiety to spill from my mouth. Not concern. No. Itâs my glasses.
They follow the silence and the brusque noise and turn the place upside down. Clattering lackadaisically on the dining room floor, probably inches from someoneâs foot. I can feel everyone looking up. Oh⊠ShâŠt.
Lord forgive me.
Now theyâre above me. I canât tell how many there are, really. Staring into me, shocked that Iâm here like I havenât lived in this house since conception. Same as my brother. But Iâm just some sad bug, flattened on a slide. Thatâs how it feels. âNico,â heâs feigning serenity and I can hear it distinctly, tongue caught on his teeth, like it used to be when we were kids. He had a stutter heâs since outgrown. It rears its pesky head when heâs in a pickle. âIâm gonnaâ hack the stuff at the church today why donât you take the day off? Hey or uh,â he gives something hefty a pull. Something unconscious.
âHey Neek what about that memorial park you wanted to volunteer at?â Damon crops up. How he remembers things Iâve only muttered while walking by, I have no idea. Heâs quick. Quicker than Luca, that way. Heâs saving Lucaâs behind, the vice and the versa. Childhood friendship evolved into brotherhood. We love him here, we always have. But whereâs that other voice I heard?? And what is Luca going to do at La Basilica on a Saturday? Yeah⊠Right.
I donât ask questions. I donât say a n y t h i n g. I just open my eyes, full as theyâll go, and sort of cock my head and peer at the dining room table. Whose table cloth, FYI, is rumpled. Mom would go absolutamente loco if she saw that. Why wonât I ask questions? I see the blood. All that blood. Dripping from the fringe, slow and thick, getting cold. Because I know for the secrets that Luca has to handle - oh man, Iâve got a big one of my own. The wicked and the pious are all one breed. I donât ask any questions. Judgment isnât for me, itâs for God
âIf you need my help, Luca,â I fidget, nearly breaking my thumb nails on the baluster. Iâve never seen that much blood. My knuckles turn white, âD..Damon? I can help.â What could I help? Is someone going to die? I feel sick. Iâve got to help, but Friday isnât just yesterday. Heâs my private sin. Heâs in the attached room upstairs. He counts on me to unlock the door and wake him up, and let him be more than just the weekend. Iâve been keeping a promise to him and to God. How much more room can I make inside of my soul for all of these lost men? Itâs too big for my body, like a spirit pregnant without means to deliver.
There go I before the grace of GodâŠ
âNo, Nico, itâs fine. We got it.â Iâm not sure which one of them said it. But itâs enough to excuse me to expel my dinner. I push the pathetic lock of my bedroom door in and pray through wretches, knowing the wall separating myself and a l o n g weekend, is not thick enough to mask the noise. I house the excess. The way a church does for those who need guidance and a place to rest their heads. Only I am not the abbey, Iâm just a girl. A sort of inadequate home now that I mention it. An even more inadequate Catholic. Did I just turn a blind eye to murder? The doors on either side of the bathroom slip latches, creak on a side of the morning⊠That Friday⊠Just doesnât understand.
Heâs not humble. Tactful when called for, but more on the vain side of my sect. A vital force that leaves a rippling wave of pigment that I really could not ignore. Like - I, just had to touch that brilliant color. My childhood chaplain makes it comparable to snakes and the devil. Theyâre so very beautiful and charming, arenât they? I revert, cajole myself into thinking no matter how difficult or how harlequin, we all harbor a human soul.
I try to drown the impression that 7AM has made on me. Mouthwash doesnât cut it, so I brush my teeth until my gums spit cherry pits back at my reflection. Pat my face with a damp rag. Roll my eyes at what heâll say. I know heâs waking up, Knapp from his nap. Iâm buzzing on a short circuit and I feel like I could flicker out of this world. As if I were a mosquito clapped up by an open palm, âPlease be quiet,â I whisper and angle my elbows. Clutch the sink, âPlease just be so, so quiet, this morning.â I know I look like the very ugly side of insomnia. I slept very well, thank you. I was rudely awakened so you seeâŠ..
Leave out the blood.
When he peeks, so kindred to maybe what he used to look like, a child curious and eager to come out and play, Iâm swallowing a lump in my throat. It bobs in my chest. I donât think heâs ever seen me like this. Me neither.
I imagine what he must have been like as a kid. But reality rips me from the false apparition of an angel. âWeâre not going to the church today.â Declaration from my usual multiple choice. He wonât like it. But we are not going t h e r e. We may even climb out my window, now. His gaze is as extensive and intimidating as the Pacific. Asking questions, demanding answers without utilizing any precious energy he pulled from sleep. He doesnât think Iâm worth it. Iâm used to it, because half the time, I wonder if I should have ever helped him. My Father is my courage and my devotion, and so I give unto.
Snowfall is equivalent to his hair, even when itâs a mess from being choked by a pillow. Plush and youâd want to touch it whether it fell from heaven or grew out of Fridayâs head. So blond itâs white. Heâs pale, but not too pale - just the kind of porcelain that blushes soft pink when you press it to hold hands. Jaw turns into a scored piece of marble when heâs thinking. When heâs displeased on his illusory throne. Iâm the textbook definition of a schoolgirl in his description. But believe me when I say, he is every bit the force to be reckoned with. I know this. And I keep a l o t of distance between us. He judges me and he invites me. Iâm not the first Catholic in his arsenal, even if he didnât tell me that. I can tell thereâs a tickle of nostalgia he gets when heâs close to me. Itâs his cross to bear. Not mine. Iâm no Eve. My mama didnât raise no fool.
I love him, because Iâm supposed to.
Heâs been here a couple weeks beneath the radar. My compassion gauge ticks on empty frequently around him and his mouth. His teeth could cut steel. Tongue, diamonds. But somebody dumped him in this place for me to find. God Bless California.
âFriday, please stop looking at me like that.â Iâm out of breath still from the contents of my stomach clogging my wind pipe. âWeâll do something fun,â Iâm masking the chaos worse than my brother, and Friday is thinking, âYour idea of fun makes suicide sound like a bouncy castle.â It causes me to pull at my shirt. He never made me uncomfortable. But his flinty scrutiny is making me want to confess to murders I donât even know happened. I imagine, this is how anyone feels even casually interacting with Friday. It gets him off. So now, heâs looking more pleased than judgmental. Fit for a thorn crown rather than his jewels if you ask me. Conceit is a sin. I havenât gotten him to repent.
Yet, thereâs an understanding between us. He softens and scrapes me with his inquiry but doesnât step a foot onto the tile. âItâs okay.â I tell him. âTheyâre so distracted they probably wouldnât even notice you, today.â Iâm just as tired as he is on a good day, which is not at all normal. even he knows that. âIâve been thinking.â Try to distract from the obvious.
âI could just make you up a room at the church instead of here. Itâs less risky and you wonât be forced to be around me so much. As much, really.â Careful about my words. I wouldnât want it to look the wrong way. Like I'm maybe covering up a homicide.
Fridayâs expression shifts before she even finishes speaking, a here and gone irritation strong enough to promise a Biblical Plague. Displeased. /Displaced/. Heâs taken up residence in the back of her mind more than in her home, a vice grip on her spinal cortex. Sheâs as aware that heâs pulling at her strings as he is.
He /wants/ to be here. The first thought she has between her morning prayer and her brothers sins. As consistent and constant as her faith. Her face doesnât always match her words, but he canât get any closer to see the distinction. Thereâs a threshold he canât cross - /leave space for Jesus/. One day, heâll burn that bridge down.
He resists the temptation to fold his arms least the distinction causes her back to draw up tight. /No paths have been cut yet, Friday, take a deep breath./ âForced,â he repeats, southern lift softening his tone from the knife that it could be. âIs that how /you/ feel, darlinâ?â --Written for Friday as played by CharlotteV
For a moment I want to reach out and touch the vitality thatâs been taunting me over a course of weeks. I wonder whoâs the serpent and whoâs the charmer. If itâs time to deliver bad news, or good. He plucks at me like fine ivory looped on maple wood. From what I can tell, Iâm not quite singing the song he wants to hear. He tightens the strings and brings that bow across me slow and steady, âDarlinâ.â My thumb grazes the glossy crucifix. Bad news, or good news.
How about a house blend?
Physical dominions close no space between us, but he narrows us up real analytically just with a few words. I donât think heâs evil incarnate the way another god fearer would. But I can see the devil dancing behind blue, when it shines opal and stares at me. The sun catches him better than I, but I know heâd rather be asleep. My hair is all dark and a mess, so I cut the staring contest with a glance to the mirror. I see a reduced pupil of Christ masquerading in about a buck seventeen of thin skin. Shoulder bones tipping up into white fabric to match the collar of my body. I think of how Luca used to tease me and say Iâd never grow into any shape, much less a womanâs. The girl in the glass has augmented since high school, and sometimes I donât know how to face her like this. A virgin who feels guilty even buying a lace bra because itâs the last one in her size. Grasping a cross and dithering on the other side of sepia opticals. I donât ask questions, let alone question God and what heâs given me. âWell if you had another choice you wouldnât be here.â
Feebly smiling I might as well lay like a rug, but I donât tend to get walked on easily. I only have too much patience. A surplus for Friday. Because heâs meant to be good, as Iâm first to Sunday. I know that test pilot sort of timbre he uses when talks. Signifies that Iâm walking a rope that could fray or be pulled to balance me out. Drop me or clock my piece of mind a little longer, Iâm getting a little better at playing the game of wit with Mr. Knapp.
But as nice of a distraction as it is to whatâs going on downstairs, I have to cut it short. The rood is pendent, loose from my tapered throat. Relinquished in a way that might look like surrender. Truth of it is, Iâm just not afraid of Friday. God is always looking out for me, but I look out way better for handsome dressed darkness in my doorway. âDonât look so sour, Viernes, es porque me importa. I donât know how much more I can do for you here. I could take better care at the church.â And itâll look a lot less suspicious when Luca finds out about you. Fully.
Iâve practiced not feeling small in the company of men. Luca taught me that. Dad sort of instilled in me that men are my superior, but Mom was a little more lax and feminist-influenced. Luca latched on to that. He gets to talking and knows how to make you feel small, but it isnât ruled by any bias. Luca is a demanding presence. Sometimes he tells me that not even I should shudder in the shadow of God. I turn it over in my mind, thinking hard enough to grind my teeth into fine meal when Friday digests my native tongue.
He can read her better than anyone heâs ever come across. A good Catholic, a /true/ Catholic, has no need for secrets or deceptions. Sheâs an open book, a vibrant promise. Which means that now, the way sheâs dancing around him, up all the balls of her toes to keep from causing damage, sheâs carefully misplacing weight not just on his bomb, but someone else's.
He canât smell blood, but that doesnât mean it isnât there. The curiosity for her thinly veiled antics causes his own raging storm to calm. The truth is. Itâs too early. Heâs still more tired than her. Thereâs a ring on his thumb, forgotten silver from a forgotten time, and he spins it now while he thinks. Considers.
Sheâs not wrong.
If he had another choice.
But here he is, and the bed is made, and the monster has taken up permanent residence underneath it. The stories begin to form in his mind, flesh out, take a life of their own. /Who is he, where has he been, who does he know?/
Oh, the answer to that? A Pastor.
He seeâs her play, but he thinks itâs okay. âItâs fine,â he says, and if he clips the letters a little, well, itâs only /because he cares/. âIâve always liked church." -- Written for Friday as played by CharlotteV
Good thing, too.
Because Iâm trying to figure out how I would gently reject him over again if he got closer than a few feet. Thereâs been a couple walls between us - and if we creep up on a month of borrowed time on my brotherâs timepiece, we might just be pushing it. Sometimes I donât sleep at night knowing Fridayâs there. Worse, knowing heâs awake. Thinking the same thing. I forced a gap and plugged it with doorknobs and gentle knocks after he first went to smooth a lock of my hair. I saluted his false prayers knowing well they carried little weight. The memory hangs onto the church and leaks through the stained glass, its own color when Tijuanaâs eventide kisses it just right. It weighs on me when Iâm at the pew.
He was so close. If Iâd not known better I would have leaned into it. But I put him carefully down and nudged his digits with my clean elbow, considerate. After that he didnât try again, just strangled a motion of his Adamâs apple in thought, murmured about leaving room for Jesus. The usual ridicule to light up his hardened expression.
The blood I saw downstairs rattles the reverie. By the time Iâm back to the present world, Friday is watching me from my window sill. Unimpressed by my methods. Soon weâre to La Basilica and heâs complaining of the heat in the atrium but I reiterate his fondness of the church to shut him up. He asks why we're here when I told him we wouldn't be coming here. But there's no other place to go.
I bow my head, I break my posture, and plead forgiveness for my brotherâs trespasses, and a little extra for my own.
Harmony is fleeting the same way happiness is. I know it by life itself. The peace is cracked like china when I hear familiar disarray at the front of the church, and there is Luca. Damon. Jack, with a whole lot of ACE wrapped around his trunk. Thereâs been no regard for moral law, but at least Jack is standing on his own. It looks like a ball has been wedged up under his skin between his eye and mandible, threatening to rupture more than just a bruise. âCome on Nico what the fuck!â Luca almost whines, âI told you to take the day off.â Instinctively I drag myself to my feet disorderly, pin myself in front of Friday. Itâs the first time weâve ever touched, and thereâs a gun in my brotherâs hand.
Heâs too pensive to notice the peculiar timing. Or that my âapprenticeâ has been around a little too much. Luca draws a vascular hand up to his furrowed brow, pistol dangling from his index, clearly more distressed than Damon is about his own brother. âJust open up the basement,â Jack blurts, and I can tell that Damon AND Luca think about socking him cold another time, âI need some fucking Percs and Iâll be fine in a few hours to work.â
I didnât even know Jack had a job. Bewildered, I blink incessantly and wait for some sort of additional commentary. Luca glances between me and the century old rug, folds it up and drops to his knees. Swaps prayers for a passcode on a stout lock. âDonât worry,â he grunts and yanks up a hidden subsurface, âIâm gonnaâ have this filled over the summer.â What he didnât tell me then, was that he was going to build a new entrance in the back, and integrate a whole staircase as well as a heavy burnished ruby door. A supplement of sin to our familyâs pride and joy.
ïŒČïŒ„ïŒłïŒ„ïŒźïŒŽ ïŒ€ïŒĄïŒč
Fiestas Patronales de San Salvador, August 3rd, 2017
third person POV
One of the traveling clerics favored leather to traditional cottons, and Nico didnât knock him for it as much as Luca did. He was good in his word and following of the Lord. But, so much wasnât enough for men like Luca. Nico shoved him off the walkway when he wanted to start again, whispering, âYou leave Father Xanthi alone and mind your business Luca. Heâs doing his job.â And so instead, her brother b-lined for Friday, with Damon in tow knowing Damon wanted no part of it. Friday was newly accepted as a fixture of the unholy/holy stable. Nico capitulated, let it happen. He was good enough to defend himself now, even if heâd rather ten minions fall before him the way followers went before God. Even if heâd rather Nico keep herself perennial on the altar in his honor. Or anyone else thick enough to crumble. The smart ones might blink enough to think itâs worth it, looking at snow white hair in midday. A smirk that looked tacked in place and too sureâŠ
But, the digression.
She wove through the guests of the church under the sun, and passed by Xanthi in heedful gratitude. His southern sense of humor and sort of flat satire was faring well with visitors and, so far, had pulled some of the most generous donations. She nodded at his homily, not sure how he kept proclaiming under dark garb. It was hotter than hâŠ
Her lightweight frock clipped at the sand, and was threaded in custom-stitched flowers both gold and indigo. Part of her detested the exposure, and the other half exalted in the liberation of having an excuse to wear so little in comparison to in-house wear. Not that anyone really cared. Not when there were fetish fanatics snapping garters and whips on the other side of the good old homestead, melting condoms for fun in a declaration of sadism. She twitched at the thought of Blue naked. Or giving himself to anyone. Wondered if he was hustling a trick or wearing a little more than usual and coming out to see the revelries like he said he would. Nico didnât try to succeed over any of the undergroundâs beliefs, but she really did like to try to keep them fed. She cooked almost every night and sent it downstairs. With Fiestas Patronales, there was significantly more for consumption on the top half, feasts of gazpacho, grilled corn, paella and cured meats. Theyâd be eating good. So where was that Blue, and where was Jack?âŠ
In lieu of committed assistance to the family name, Luca pulled up a few new girls from the thirsty dirt of God knows what town(s) in California or over. They compliantly signed over their hearts and disappeared behind the red door. Nico really hoped he was smitten. He had his eye on a rolling stone though. Sheâd blown in at the first day of Fiestas, with a burlap bag and sunglasses on. Tawny, medium height, named Isa. No evidence yet of where she came from or why. Sort of lingered around in a manner that made Nico itch, like she should be worried that someone was investigating and sent in the most unassuming girl they could find. Nico didnât want to risk losing her family. Losing the church. She needed to have a better scoop on what was up.
She approached with absurd and abrupt poise, or lack thereof, âHi. Isa. Nico, Iâm the ownerâs daughter. We met a couple days ago. I havenât heard from you since I set you up with a cot, are you enjoying your time?â
â â â â â â â â â â â â â
Fiestas Patronales de San Salvador could have a day j u s t for him. Paint his fucking face from La BasĂlica to Catedral Metropolitana.
He wonders if he could get Jack to call him Divine Savior of the World. In its appropriate Spanish.
The smirk that curls over his lips isnât appropriate for children, so fast fingertips find a clean rose and he hides himself in the perception that the smell is at all appealing. The weight of Nicoâs judgement - for more than one unholy thought - settles on his shoulders though sheâs nowhere near him.
And what a shame that is.
He crushes red petals beneath pale digits and tries not to let the comparisons drift away in his head. Visions of the Blood of Christ - no, no. Itâs not his blood anyway. Heâs still a step higher than the son of God because he is God.
Thereâs too many people in His house and he tries to act like it doesnât bother him. The festival is too big, Nico worked very hard, appreciation is just on the tip of his tongue. And yet part of him canât help but feel like every misplaced preacher is spouting sacrilege.
E x c e p t maybe the one in leather. Fridayâs a little fond of that one, though heâs not sure if itâs the blonde hair or the way his eyes widened when someone referred to him as Daddy Xanthi. Honestly, heâs a little irritated he didnât think of that first. Lost opportunities of misfortunate souls. A pity.
Finding his Virgin Mary at a time like this is no easy feat, and he almost throws it in when he catches sight of embroidered indigo out of the corner of his eye. Ah, finally, there she is. Perhaps heâs the only one that notices sheâs wearing less today as per the norm. If he tilts his head, he might even catch a glimpse of an ankle.
He snorts despite himself, and itâs only funny because Friday himself is modest just the same. Even in August heat, his cuffs reach his wrists and his collar his neck. Mint fabric is kinder to him under the sun but long exposure will, surely, be the death of him.
Or perhaps Luca Pastor will, if he ever realizes Friday has seen more of his little sister than this moment. But their secrets lie in the colors of early twilight, between folds of soft lace and curious blue eyes. He wishes it was as salacious as it sounded in his mind.
âOh, Mary.â Heâs far too amused for a day this hectic. How long was his nap earlier? It must have been a good one, he can hardly even remember. Her dark eyes land on his, sheâs already losing patience. Rude, heâs only pestered her a handful of times today. All before the festivities started.
He knows e x a c t l y where her line is and he places himself just on the edge of it, where Jesus can still exist as a whisper between their forms but heâs still far enough away she wonât step back from him; even if he puts her on edge. It was a game he enjoyed playing and finding all the rules to. One day, he would break them.
One day.
âWell, this is certainly longer than your motherâs nightgown,â he comments, that Georgian accent keeping his tone low enough to be just for them. âBut what is this? A spaghetti strap?â He moves to pop the offending item and stops just short, a wind gust away from untouched skin and things he thinks about at night.
His eyes dark dart to her face, a smile breaking across his own. âYou harlot, you.â
Maybe the words hit too close to their metaphorical home, or maybe heâs struck a cord, because thereâs a hint of embarrassment under her usual stern whisper of, âFriday. Please!â
Heâs smirking again, and if that expression wasnât appropriate for children it isnât appropriate for Nico either. He tugs on the chain around his neck and presses a glossy black cross between his lips to hide the expression. But oh, it still tastes like Jack Rabbit.
Well, if that wasnât heinous.
Friday never did like for his food to touch. He was lucky in that it often didnât. His Jack belonged in hell and his Mary in heaven and himself somewhere far above. Able to keep them separated by a red door like the line of a knife between his plate.
âDonât chastise me, I havenât done anything.â Yet. Today? No. This hour? Perhaps. Does it count as sinning if it all stays in his head? Probably. He should repent. Confess. He knows his favorite position for it...
Nico doesnât believe him in the slightest if that look is anything to go off of. He supposes he should feel worse for wear, but he simply drops the charm from his mouth and offers her a complicit shrug. He looks her over again, more curious than examining. âWipe that blush off your face. Itâs hot, Mary dear. You deserve a little light weight. Otherwise youâd be sweatinâ like a hooker in church.â
Heâs seen a hooker in church. Itâs a beautiful sight.
Heâs smirking again.
Something passed his shoulder catches her attention and if he bristles at that well, itâs his business alone. His good mood dissipates and he wants to call her back, but she murmurs an excuse and shifts passed him. He supposes heâll be in her prayers tonight, at the very least.
Though, again, not quite as exciting as it sounds. When sheâs asking for forgiveness on his part and not begging for a lack of description.
Ah well, what was the proverb? Beggars canât be choosers? Though he supposes John Heywood had never tasted La BasĂlicaâs particular brand of religion.
Shame.
He watches as Nico catches up to her brother just in time to direct his attention away from Daddy Knox, and thinks thatâs probably for the best, until Lucaâs caught on him. Friday canât blame him, he is quite noteworthy, and yetâŠ
Ah, heâs coming over now. With Damon.
Oh joy.
Hallelujah.
Praise the Heavens.
This is going to be the highlight of his evening.
I wanna do better is something Isa doesnât have the words to articulate, settles for fishing psalms out of the back of some strangerâs throat, crumbling walls a quiet bystander when the same story gets rewritten in hopes that oneâll stick. But sheâs learned seeing the world in darkened colors isnât without itâs lighter moments. In the morning sheâll wake up on another side of town, light a cigarette like thatâs just what you do and listen hard for the sound of the ocean receding as far away as possible. Maybe off to better places, distant shores. The Santa Monica coastlineâs nice this time of year, so she hears. Thatâs all itâs been as of yet; hearsay. A random note in her phone among other places sheâll land in eventually, once sheâs got a leg to stand on. Once sheâs got a little something going thatâs just for her.
A parentâs sins cling like curses, a constant orchestra just for the dysfunctional, somethin only God himself could lift if he was in the business of unburdening wayward souls. Itâs a relationship. Thatâs what her grandma preached. You gotta meet him halfway, have to reciprocate, accept his love and his grace. Isaâs got an idea or two; namely slitting her brother's throat and offering up his transgressions to the dirt. Her sacrifice for a God thatâs gotta be shown some measure of deference. The first fruits. Itâs not a joke -- she loves her brother every other day. But someoneâs got to laugh and Isaâs not shy about it, use to tracing soft fingers along the aging wood of church pews and wondering if this vessel of a body would still float come monsoon season, come high tide. Grandma always said she was stubborn for the sake of being so. Would chalk her current lifestyle up to it if she was alive to witness the sacrilege.
Maybe thereâs a version of the universe where we donât settle for matted hair against headboards and bus tickets, for chapped hands in mountainside towns that echo as much as her wallet. Sheâs just not sure where it is and the search is exhausting. Makes mistaking enmity for piety behind black rimmed eyes that much easier. (Though, calling it a mistake at this point is lending her far too much grace.)
The desert stretches out for miles just to come to a head at the dip of her collar bones, dry air snagging her skin with an eagerness only met by a certain boy in Phoenix, by an elderâs endless attempts at outreach. Sheâs part of the EMC crowd -- easter, motherâs day, christmas -- and even when shit got strained, she could at least say she made to Godâs house on those days. Had vague ideas of the passover. This is something different and if sheâd had a calendar out itâs safe to say she mightâve avoided the whole thing had He granted her the wisdom. But sheâs been rocking steady on E. Soles rubbed raw tryna put one foot in front of the other. Passing up a free bed while sheâs passing through would be dumb, and Isa hadnât made it this far denying a hand out sans strings. From a good God fearing girl no less.
Itâs more infectious than she imagined, more enticing than a wayward soul would like to give it credit for. In all honesty, it may be the establishmentâs lack of pristine sanctimony that catches her eye. From the blonde headed apollo with a pocket knife for a smile hovering over the sun starved flock to the leather clad preacher, thereâs an undercurrent that lends to something a little dishonest in its gait. Or maybe theyâre speaking more truth than most are willing to slip past closed lips and hands clasped in prayer. The thought lives just behind her eyelids and nags at her brain, maybe thatâs why she doesnât dip after the first day of the festival. Doesnât peel away from the mosaic of faces around her all hovering around their lord and saviorâs eternal flame.
A free cot feels more comfortable by the day, tameâs the voice in her mind thatâs been tried and tested by habit, says itâs been nice but thereâs more to see elsewhere. And there is. The festival only builds as the days go by and Isa stays as tucked away as a heathen could. Watches various workers flit to and fro all in the service of their Lord, a good deed gone unreciprocated to the naked eye. She may as well have carried the devil in on her shoulder (sure feels like heâs camped out up there sometimes), like itâs painfully obvious she didnât come for the opportunity to worship. She simmers under the weight of collective gazes for a bit, loses her train of thought in festival food, in watching tanned faces spin circles in the courtyard and trying to place the most common faces to their positions in the church hierarchy. No one ever gives her the third degree that sheâs expecting.
In fact, and itâs strange to say, but the festival almost reminds Isa of home. Of biting God in the wrist and feeling teeth crack left and right. Of tip toeing the line that keeps revelry at bay. Insurrection could almost be religion when you do it right, but the way Fiestas Patronales de San Salvador rolls off her tongue like gravel leaves her curious, at the very very least. There's something about God Bless Youâs from the mouths of mothers when so much as a shoulder collides; all blackberries and powdered sugar, a summers worth of restitution clinging sticky-sweet to ragged teeth. All Isa can think is I might believe it when you say it like that.
Isaâs peeling petals off a rose and watching the pious to her profane get their fill in before the festival finally winds down when a familiar face approaches. Committed like she was there when Isaâs will power had an affair and divorced itself from her better judgement, though the juryâs still out as to whether or not that eagerness is just the spillage of being a good host or a preacherâs girl sniffing out the riffraff. âRight -- hey,â she pushes cherry stem curls out of her face and letâs recognition wash over as the bristle in her spine fades to nothing. For something to be so unlike her usual scene, Isa could honestly say she was enjoying her time. Here the weather hardly shifts like a dog on itâs last legs, provides a tame kind of consistency that her brain can appreciate in spurts such as this.
âI am, actually. Never thought Iâd say that about a church event. Guess yâall just have a different vibe or something.â Or something. Roses by the bunch and a priest to match; lamentations and praises alike thicker than tar. The combinations usually enough to spook anybody. Still, everythingâs gotta come to an end at one point or another. And itâs not like Isa came to the desert to reify God. He's made it more than clear to her that restitution rings loud and true when you listen for it -- she's just not in the habit of listening these days. Remembers when her hearing got selective as a child at dinner time. Remembers February hanging overhead, a pastel backdrop reminding her the years don't last as long as the days and perhaps thereâs a little something behind the idea of foresight. You can't take the world from someone else's shoulders when your own spine's been set to snap, but youngins always try, don't they? Roll in like a freak storm in the dead of the night, dissipate completely when there's nothing left to destroy. Nothing left to drown.
Itâs a shame things canât be easy anymore. Like orange peels boiling on the stove top, southern saints reminding everyone to just be a simple kinda man and everything'll work out the way it should. Isa knew better than most that nostalgia only softened edges better left anatomically correct -- and she had a surgeon's precision when it came to taking a scalpel to the soft skin of days long passed -- but sheâs far too removed to let ancient history pull itself off the shelf.
Or she will be, once she figures out how long someone has to be gone before you stop looking for them on every street corner.
âAnyway, Iâm not in a hurry to get where Iâm going, you know? Just trying to enjoy the whole thing while Iâm here.â
âThanks, by the way.â
Setting
0.00 INK
Like a wolf in sheepâs clothing, Magdelene circled around the herd - examining the prey. So many lost souls searching, yearning for direction. She could give them what they needed; love, discipline, salvation. Luca ran the show, that much Magdalene accepted, but in the long run these sheep were just that to him - sheep. She wanted to herd them into their way of life, Luca wanted to charge them into battle. She knew where she stood, outside that red door she knew to stay within her bounds. The plain smock let her blend into her surroundings, she was but only a humble servant, a wife to the church.
Familiar faces putting on a front, masked monsters. Magdalene wasnât sure if what she felt was dread or excitement. Long painted nails twirled ornate rings, busy hands meant a busy mind. The maternal force within grew with every beat, of new additions to her family to the ones she already watched over. Where other people saw a whore, Magdalene saw potential. She knew what it meant like to be degraded, to be reduced to nothing more than a real life sex doll. Her congregation never were forced into anything. They joined - willingly. They set their boundaries and express their goals. Magdalene gave them a new life, a bed and a place to call home - although Luca would say he was the one who had made it all happen, the reason why any of them were here.
She watched him from across the church, he had a commanding presence. Women and men alike fell at his feet, reciting empty prayers under bated breath. Who wouldnât feel like a God when people literally fell to their knees at your feet. Magdalene had other ways of getting people to their knees. She knew what happened when a man offered salvation, things were never quite as they seemed. You could spot them from a mile away, wandering eyes meant a wandering spirit. They looked a lot like herself before she learned the price of salvation.
Her shackles had never been broken over the years, her physical form always belonged to one man or another. Something she had learned from the church was freedom was a state of mind regardless of who you reported to at the end of the day. Her hands twisted around her wrists, bound in dark bandages. She had learned to hide the scars to avoid the questions but they always served as a reminder to not believe handsome men with big promises.
oh, NiccoloâŠâŠdidnât your mother teach you to play nice? He never did, she remembered spending days on end locked away like a damsel in distress, more of a hostage than a wife. Once upon a time she was but a girl in the streets of Catalonia, pulling the legs from roaches to watch them squirm. She had barely began to bloom when he found her. It began with presents, heâd tell her next time heâd be in town and get her her own room in a posh hotel, buy her new clothes and take her for dinner. He offered to give her family a new life, give her a new life, if she went away with him. He could smell her desperation for escape.
She was still a girl when he married her, locking her away like a secret heâd only share with his most deviant of friends - and they never just popped by for a visit. She was their shared fetish and their dark secret. Worst part is how much she loved him, she couldnât see past him. Pleasing him was all she ever wanted in life so much so she had been able to delude herself that this was the life she wanted - to be nothing more than his play thing. Salvation never was quite what it would seem to be from a distance.
Now Magdalene was the wolf, sniffing out desperation, hoping to snatch them before those higher in the food chain did if only to give them a type of love only a mother could give. She could spot the lost ones from a mile away, floating amidst the devout folks who came to pay patronage to the church. For now all she had to do was observe, after all her duty was only to serve.
xxxxxxxxxxSxOxTxO
Every morning brings in a new sin to behold, a revelation in sweet sacrilege that leaves Jack a quaking mess just waiting for the other dime to drop. The cash to be settled along nightstands, beside rosary beads laid out for safe keeping. He is a brand of faithful that reeks of gratification.
But aren't they all? A group of living pigments existing on the same color wheel of faith whether in the light, or in the dark of a room bathed red. Bleeding out over bedsheets with hands formed into fists. Pleasure in the house of god. The scandal it could be (that it is.) That he intensely enjoys.
Today is the kind of day that dregs these thoughts into tangible form. A busy day, only slightly off from his usual routine - or as much of a routine as he can manage between quick fucks and worship.
He is standing naked, staring at the mess of his bed and wondering when he'll get the energy to clean it up a little. He's a mess, from head to toe, internally and externally to the greatest extent. A trait that had never failed him the grief of others. And yet, with the sheer amount of fucks he gives (none) he still feels that crippling insecurity from a childhood of hard-hands.
After all, some shadows exist only as reminders of missing shapes with nowhere left to go. Afterimages burned onto retinas 'forever more.' He can still hear them if he thinks about it for too long. Long-suffering sighs and disappointed looks. Something, everything, that should be forgotten and yet that still balances on a tightrope in his head.
He should be more lively today.
Fiestas Patronales de San Salvador.
An event in full swing that will no doubt gather plenty of attention to feed his escapism. Theres nothing better than worship under the sheets. And he knows that today is for sinners just as much as for saints (Where La Basilica is concerned.) He wants to indulge as much as possible, only partially for the money. More so for the feeling of skin pressed to his. Tearing at him with the ferocity of a repressed beast.
Clothes first. There are steps to take today, and none of them include walking through the church with his dick hanging out. That usually came later, during those delightfully panicky moments of wondering how he would find the discarded garments without running into at least one person. Maybe, for the sake of the church itself he'd avoid the party usually responsible for that - or, maybe the thought of being caught indulging those darker fantasies makes it even better.
His own groaning snaps him from thought. He glances south, sighs, and drags his clothes on painfully slowly.
"Not the time." He reminds himself. "So not the fucking time."
Adding fuel to the fire that will no doubt be in that damned smirk that haunts him. Talk about afterimages...he isn't so sure he'll ever get away from those pretty blue eyes. Doesn't think he'll ever want to.
After dressing, with few other interruptions from his own constantly churning mind he manages to gather as much of the mess in the room as he can. Presentability aside, he needs the room to make even more of a mess later. It only takes him half the time as it took him to get himself together in the first place. He feels particularly slow today like his skin is crawling at the thought of moving with any haste. Yet there's something frantic about the way he leaves, an excitement building on top of what has already been built.
This is what he's fucking built for.
A whore is a whore, but some of them do it far better than others. None of them are here to be the victim, they're tied too deeply into the foundations of the La Basilica network for that brand of 'worker'. No. Enjoyment, on their ends, is just as deeply connected to this pretty crime of theirs. And nobody can claim that Jack doesn't enjoy every fucking minute of this place - well, shit, that's only half true. His hands graze the scar, that damned reminder of one of the few times in his life he's been truly fearful of this 'job.' A bullet is probably the least fun thing to have penetrated him.
He can think of a dozen other things he'd have rather it been...
"Nope. No. Stop that." He mumbles to himself quickly, quickening his pace as if to outrun the sudden barrage of interesting things sparking to life. On his way out he spots probably one of the worst things for his frayed edges at that very moment - then again, setting him off isn't exactly hard.
But rather than let himself be bullied by his own fucking body, he steers himself headfirst into the danger zone. Blue Victoria is an interesting addition to the troupe. In the way that makes Jack want to find the nearest hole to crawl in and hide. Fear, having nothing at all to do with it. More so, the fact that he seems to lack the necessary self-preservation to keep himself from indulging in things of a dangerous nature.
Blue, is a thing of a dangerous nature. One that Jack is sure could quite literally tear anyone he damn well pleases apart. Human confetti.
"Blue." Jack greets, "Off to the hunt?" the likeness of predator and prey isn't an exaggeration. However not all of the occupants of this place had decided to mingle with the crowd. Plenty of them had their steady flow of customers, and more so no doubt there were secrets being sold for silence above as he spoke. But Jack liked being among the crowd, pretending to be just another normal person on another normal day.
"Well," He looks past Blue, malcontent with standing still for too long when he could be doing other things. "I'm heading out, feel free to join." And with that, and one final smile of a not-so-innocent nature. He slips away and heads into the light of day.
He's overdressed, stifled by the heat of cloth fabric clinging tightly to his body. While dressed to seem less vagrant than usual, his casual wear isn't exactly his sunday best - quite the opposite in fact. His earlier excitement has faded into dull nothing, gazing without seeing over the vastness of the festival before him. There's something spectacular in the way that they have gathered so many various people under this singular guise of a holy event.
There are more than enough people who have gotten their fingers dug deep, past his skin and into the bones below. Branding like a hot iron against his soul. None of them, up until recently had been capable of claiming their place as 'god' in him. Sacrilege, bittersweet on the tip of his tongue.
He spots his target quickly, being accosted by Luca and Damon of all people. For a moment, Jack considers turning back around and finding something else to do. Lord knows there's plenty of people here to bother. However, he isn't going to change course just because of the annoyance that is his own flesh and goddamned blood. Then again, Luca also looks like he means business, and interrupting business is never in Jacks personal interests.
So, with the casual confidence, only someone who spends most of their time unclothed can master, he sidles towards Friday. Casually lets his fingers brush against the other, barely there. Not enough for anybody to notice or call him out on. He looks up, feels his breath quickening by the second. He shoots a meaningful look towards Luca and Damon.
"Come find me." He whispers. And then, as if he hadn't been there in the first place he departs.
Hustlers would glisten in this type of heat, unforgiven and unbothered every inch. The sultriness spilled more than bodily fluids behind cherry gates. Forcing her to wonder just how many had gone mad under the sun, Nico flashed a squinty slant of her face at it. But the catharsis - nor the consensus, was lost. It was hotter ân a bâŠ.
Well, God bless the sanity and saintly, for the remarkable display of generosity and equilibrium. Wasnât quite sure if sheâd be too bold and narcissistic to only assume herself responsible for the latter, but, she felt a little better knowing sheâd at least had one hand in it. The Catholic fair was going over well. Which was remarkable in and of itself, considering how many Californian home owners split their front doors open only an inch or two just to slap the space shut again. Nearly missing her fingers. Oh, thatâs right. She found them under the glow of August, partially bruised at the prime few knuckles. Ironically placed. This is what most people had to say about religion or the invitation thereof. Re-imagining the slamming of the door, she scrunched her digits up and then flexed and feathered them. Sheâd do it all over again, God willing.
Weekly disorder danced mere inches from Nico, making the contusions on her paws just about vibrate. As to remind her that there is irrefutably punishment for entertaining sin, even just a bit. Now, you wouldnât very well catch her giving herself lashes for imagining the glint of morning on Fridayâs bare shoulder. For all that, youâd hear an superfluity of mumbled prayers both within the house and the church. As though awaiting trial. âEasy, Magdalene,â sheâd recoil and ballet recite on the invisible boundary between them, âYou arenât the only one who fraternizes with hookers.â Or the only one who was aware of that red, red line âtwix the two.
Did he expect that?
She thought maybe not, the way he flushed - not with shock. Oh no, not Friday at something so mouthwateringly spicy. He didnât feign surprise, just hunger. An unsatisfied curiosity that begged more of such explicitness. Like a child asking for just one more story at bedtime, his winter eyes were all big and bent on her for another hot spell. It was her cue to move on.
There was certain reward to be had, in spite of humoring trespass. Sometimes youâd wait ages to see just a glimmer of it, sometimes itâd no doubt sneak right upon you in the middle of day. Display a simple smile in the few breezes of afternoon, flicking kinks of magnificent hair from pervading. How glorious was God to give this.
Someone drifting yet enjoying the fruits of spirituality. Nico relished in it for a quiet second, wholly smitten. Isa delivered the proverbial pat on the head to a hardworking student without realizing it. Always made Nico ponder, though, how the ordinary angels she deemed, came to be in just this dry, nearly damned, garden of La Basilica. Isa didnât strike Nico as entirely lost. She thought that perhaps she knew exactly where she was and where she was going, regardless of her shuffling presentation. Maybe God had her plan laid out and she just didnât catch it in the right light yet. And there Nico was, aching to help another lost acolyte from the darkness.
âI am, actually. Never thought Iâd say that about a church event. Guess yâall just have a different vibe or something.â
Being assumptive didnât furnish too much fruit in the past, so Nico thought it best to nod and listen. Fully absorb before bludgeoning with faith someone might not necessarily want. Indeed, not everyone came to La Basilica for the same thing. Nico - in all this, could not always be the undeclared centerfold white knight. There was so much she didnât know. She had to be honest with herself about that. She had to be real.
You can never save them all.
A fate surely worse than fiction. There must have been a twinkle of reduction in Nicoâs enthusiasm. Possibly a glaze of indication in her regard. But the words ânot in a hurryâ tacked up her spine like staples, suturing the doubt inside, saving it for some lonely hour of gloaming sheâd used to spend in the church. Before Friday started sleeping there and disabling her nocturnal bleeding of cynics and indecision. Perhaps blaming all him was wrong, sure⊠It became quite difficult to seek solace in prayer when every other syllable was interrupted by someone nudging her with a billfold, as if she ran the floor below. Onerous, to say the least. Directing them to a door that Lucas told her to keep up off of. Sheâs had more than a peek, and he knows it. He grinds his teeth, but knows her rights and her intentions are better than his.
Again she glistered, the spaghetti thin margin of her dress a perpetual âitchâ she couldnât quite scratch. Dimples pinned up, Nico instinctively bent at the waist. A silent token of gratitude to Isaâs appreciation. âYou donât know what that means to me,â conceding, she murmured, shoulder to shoulder with Isa, âItâs easy to think we do much of everything we do, for nothing.â But it couldnât all be pointless. Not if Isa landed herself here, looking for no real desire. Not if Blue entrusted Sophie to Nico. Not if every sad soul got a little something out of this place. There was purpose.
Wasnât there?
âPlease stay,â she blurted before Isa half-mentioned her appreciation, âTake in the sights and just stay. As long as you need. Itâs free room and board, not to mention food. Weâll have more than what we know to do with.â A cross was motioned on Nico: touch of the forehead, just above the sternum, left and right, âDue to San Salvador, dios bendiga.â Besides⊠The past might not nip Isa's heels if she kept them up high enough on a bed in La Basilica. Nico just wouldnât ever say that out loud, even in spite of Isaâs stare looking rather full of ghosts.
âLetâs catch up later.â Was all that was left before Nico trotted away toward a golden girl with hair darker than twilight. With an impressive pivot-turned-full-spin, she encircled a boat of fruit in her arms and dangled a particularly long grape stem just before the true Magdalene, âEat. If you are going to be so quiet all the time, might as well be for the cause of having your mouth full.â She elbowed the basin into Magdaleneâs hands. There wasnât much more conversing to be done with that one. Still waters ran deep, but Magdalene gave this visage of a wolf sort of hiding in a lamb carcass. Longterm. Nico couldn't rightly say she had the time to deliver the divinity from the carnage, especially when she was so comfortable in the (self) slaughter.
Where most people had too much time on theirs, Nico's mitts looked bruised and crowded with the self appointed missions of morality, benevolence and well, a lot of BS flung wayside because of her brother. Never a dull moment. All the more, as the largest light in the sky lost its luster by minutes, sneaking into nightfall, the promise of religious duty grew heavier.
She looked to Jack, just slipping by Friday. Missing some scalding from Luca by centimeters. Red sunset rippling behind all of them as they dispersed. A prophecy of the inevitable. There was money to be made, shades to be drawn, scales being tipped. Precision cuts and lines and the pendulum sway of heels and hips. In the house of God. Because there was after all, time for all of them. They'd just learned to make their own. Wages of sin.
It was as though she could feel that big vermilion door emanating inside of her somewhere, too.
- 6 posts here • Page 1 of 1