Shojo Akuji's Story

It seemed everything was silent while Luke talked with Melanie storm. Only after her departure did the endless sea of Taiyou ships stir, the men would likely find their FTL Systems jammed, inoperative, and a series of computer viruses messing with their navigation and engine systems.

With the constant bombardment of computer programs, and a strange energy net cast over their ships, they would likely find themselves with all Taiyou eyes on them, with a singular Shokaku class carrier, flanked by a pair of Shogun Battleships, and a single Yamato class Battleship, and two Kongo class Battleships moved to greet them, a middle aged Taiyou officer flickering on their screen.


"Attention SEC Group Beta, this is the ITN Murakami, prepare to be boarded, any resistance will be met with overwhelming force." He said firmly, before disconnecting the message, while massive 250cm Anti-Ship cannons swiveled on their turrets, bearing aim at the smaller SEC Ships, while the Shokaku class carrier moved in, flanked now by a squadron of A6M Star-fighters.

Big ears had listened in on their conversation.

422-201 glides into the ITN Murakami's garbage disposal system. Maneuvering his way against the tightly sealed doors, which he remotely unlocks and slides open enough so he can enter before the emergency systems engage. Once inside, 422-201 emerges from a disposal shaft near the bottom of the ship, but remains cloaked. Wishing to maintain his hidden presence, 422-201 doesn't attempt to take over the starship's main computer yet. He pauses every twenty feet to place a cloaked explosive along the corridor. He continues at a hastened pace, perfectly silent, moving past crew members unnoticed. His first main stop, the ship's armory.

The ships made no move to block the attacks, complying completely. The guards lowered weapons as the carrier mover moved in. "INT Murakami, we will comply and meet you at airlocks. Be advised we have a VIP On board, Luke Sullen sends his regards to his Imperial Majesty."

Luke Sullen got up from his chair and put on his expensive suit coat and then briefly stopped by the mirror to comb his hair. Then he was off headed for the primary airlock. He was flanked by security all armed but relaxed. They did not plan to engage the Taiyou. They knew they would be searched extensively before they would even be considered for a diplomatic meeting. That rogue ship had really thrown a wrench in their plans making the SEC look aggressive and it was going to take a lot of work to prove their original intentions to the Taiyou.

Everything seemed to be proceeding as planned, the Taiyou ship was now moving to dock with the SEC ships, and bring it into it's massive hangar bays to dock with it.

"Very well, We will allow you the use of your engines, and broadcast coordinates for you to land." Admiral Akuji said, before he disconnected the comm link, then he nodded, and a Lieutenant entered in a series of commands, and the SEC Ships would find the use of their engines, and be allowed to proceed and dock with the larger, more menacing Taiyou warship.

As the Admiral stood there silently, a second officer turned to face him. "Sir, we've been boarded, an unknown entity has gained control over our external Airlock A-7. As there was no garbage disposal, Taiyou trash was stored on the ship and largely recycled, and the strange android was being tracked all the way towards the Armory remotely on the Bridge. A moment went by, and a violet haired woman flickered on the screen.

"He's heading towards the Armory. I'll be there to greet him." She said, as the visor for her customized and largey illegal Combat skin closed over her face. The woman then crouched behind a bulkhead, utilizing a series of scanners to lie in wait, hidden and unseen. A pool of water on the floor would signal the construct's arrival. Along with a Seburo MN-23 with magazine filled with EMP Rounds.

Once the SEC ships docked with the Taiyou ships, Luke Sullen and his men were greeted by Taiyou soldiers, all of them with weapons drawn. "Drop your weapons!" A Taiyou soldier shouted, as a Lieutenant approached Luke Sullen.

"Mr. Sullen, surrender your weapons and your ships. You are under arrest for crimes of aggression, crimes against peace, and conspiracy to incite a war. You will come quietly to face International tribunal."

All of the Soldiers held their weapons tight but Luke Sullen interjected. "Do as they comply." He ordered as the soldiers and crews complied he began to listen to the charges.

"I wish to fight these charges and also declare diplomatic immunity, if you wish to press charges against me I would like to hear them from a higher ranking official. As for the conspiracy to incite a war your going to have to arrest Captain Richards, though acting on my behalf he had no right to send that ship to Langara. It is not within our policy to Support such an action I was planning to wait until my return to strip him of his duties but here by he is stripped from all rank and will face charges placed by the SEC and if you wish the Taiyou, though we will by trying for treason and that is punishable by death."


Luke took a breath before adding a further opinion. "Though if anything he merely sent the ship to it's death. Give me comm access and I will warn the Aschen in advance if you so wish." Luke Sullen said. "On a further note The SEC would still like to hold diplomatic talks with your esteemed leadership if I am found innocent or the charges against me are to be dropped." He said with his usual all business face.

The Lieutenant turned to one of his men, and then he turned back to Sullen and his men.

"You will have ample time to prepare your case before the International Tribunal. Don't make this more difficult than it needs to be. You, through gross criminal negligence if what you say is true, are responsible for the actions of your captain." He said, while the Taiyou moved in to confiscate their weapons. "The Taiyou Empire, will move to freeze your company's assets, and notify the Coalition for legal review." He said, nodding.

"You, Mr. Sullen will get your meeting with the Emperor, I do not think however, it will go as planned. He too is aware of your men's actions.

Luke Sullen listened and nodded, "Well if it's a case then that's settled, though I would like to meet with emperor. I would have to agree with you there Lieutenant though I can be quite persuasive. I would like to talk with him at his convince about these charges though I would also like to request a diplomat be allowed to enter your system as my adviser if his imperial majesty would allow this. "

Luke Sullen knew he was cornered, the SEC would loose the diplomatic talks and the negotiations would most likely fail. With the company's assets frozen production would grind to a halt and the entire confederation would go bankrupt. It was amazing the affect one small ship and one conversation could cripple an entire nation and bring it to it's knees. Measures would have to be taken immediately someone would have to act in his place he might even need to resign as CEO.

For the first time in his life Luke Sullen felt the taste of defeat and it showed.

422-201 pauses at the turn of the corridor leading to the Armory. He detects the scanners, the water on the floor, and counts the rounds in the woman's rifle. He begins to hack the communications network to isolate the woman in the armory. While cloaked he takes the form of a crew member. 3D Printers, built under his armor, begin crafting immitation muscle and flesh over his metal frame.

A crew member freezes at the sight of the nude humanoid standing in the corridor. 422-201 trembles while he approaches the crewman saying, "Where am I? I was getting ready for my shift."

"What section are you fro-" the crewman is stopped dead in his tracks as 422-201 twists his head with a quick jerk. The crewman is stripped. With the uniform on to how he scanned, 422-201 sets a cloaking pin on the crewman to hide his body.

Now dressed, 422-201 recreates the crew members voice as he approaches the armory.

"I saw the intruder! Can I get into the armory for a weapon? He's coming!"

As he approaches he prepares a smoke grenade.

The Combat skinned major stared at the approaching Android. Her faceless visor scanning and watching. 3d Printers didn't fool the strange black clad form standing between the Android and the Armory door, it would require a human essence, a beating heart, lungs, and more importantly a soul.

Lights reflected off the glossy black visor of the Combat skin as she raised her rifle, depressing the trigger and letting loose the initial salvo towards the figure.

As each bullet struck the wall, or the target, they unleashed a devastating electro-magnetic pulse, causing lights to flicker, and spark. In the sudden confusion and distortion of electromagnetic energies, the strange black clad Major was gone, leaving nothing in her trace. A Fusillade of wireless signals, including auditory and visual interference followed as a barrage was unleashed towards the construct.

With a tear in subspace, the figure reformed directly behind the Android, before she threw a punch that, enhanced not only by the suit, but her cyborg body. Carried the kinetic energy of a small nuclear warhead, compressed into a very small space. This would shatter steel and artificial flesh alike, and with blinding, near lightning speed. Send the construct careening down the corridor and through several reinforced bulkheads.

422-201 throws himself backwards from the EMP blasts. Tracking the major he anticipates his poor move and accepts the hit from behind. The punch dents his back as he is flung down the corridor and through the wall into another room, neighboring the armory. 422-201's systems reload from the required reboot following all self-repairing, the crewmen in the room flee into the corridor.

As systems power on 422-201 emerges into the corridor tossing two balls half the size of a fist. These two black spheres begin winding down the corridor parallel to each other, rolling up the walls, across the ceiling and floor. These two spheres head towards the major and leave a wall of pluming smoke from the canisters contained inside them. Sensing the major's presence he tracks her while firing on her position. If a shot were to hit her the damage would only be to the systems in her armor.

422-201 finishes hacking the communication network, thus isolating the majors comms. As the corridor fills with smoke he attempts to hack into the systems on her armor while waiting patiently in a defensive stance.

As each shot fired at the Major was destined to nail it's mark, there was a series of deafening 'twangs' as the rounds spiralled off into random directions, upon closer observation, it seemed there was a fading barrier around the combat suit. The glossy visor moved slightly, as it watched the android barrel into the armory, an icon flickering in the corner of her HUD registering the attempted intrusion. With virtual dead ends and a defensive maze of programming, the suit's alien AI systems kept the android on it's toes, and flat out refused any attempts to connect, rendering hacking attempts useless. The Suit also maintained communications with the bridge itself, through a heavily encrypted, random-generated subspace relay.

"Lock this portion of the ship down and send reinforcements. I don't know what this guy wants but he's putting up a fight." She called in, and Shojo replied. "Maintain the Aschen frequencies, my men have worked on physically isolating the network on that ship."

The Major looked up, smoke hardly a problem as her Combat skin utilized magnetic, X ray and wide-spectrum sensors to augment visual input. With her eyes narrowed on the HUD, and she threw the now empty Seburo aside, before she outstretched her arm and opened her hand.

A message was sent directly to the Android's speech processing systems, brute forced with a series of polymorphic viruses, this strange figure had began to analyse the android's computer systems.

"Why are you attacking us? Who sent you?" She hailed, before she opened up her hand and then she discharged a brilliant bolt of blue light, which seared towards the opponent at light speeds. Should the bolts impact, they would further damage the android, splintering steel and artificial flesh with millions of degrees of thermal energy.

422-201 detected the near instant charge up of the blue beam of light and ducked into the armory. Having finally made it to his first stop, 422-201 began setting charges. To stall the major he detonates the explosives dotting the corridor back to the vent he emerged from and lining to the airlock he broke through. Within moments the corridor would be exposed to the vacuum of space with a blast that would rock the whole ship.

The hacking systems probing him found a schematic of his features and blueprints, but this was a dummy schematic for hackers and a highly adaptable and almost secondary AI managed the protection and integrity of 422-201 at all times. Locking the door to the armory, 422-201 exited the Armory firing on crewmen being sucked into space. Spraying from both weapons on his right hand firing the speed of light towards the major. If the blast hit she would be paralyzed and the hit would destroy her shielding.

In response to her message a video is sent to her visor of the ship crashing into the city below.

The Ship indeed rocked, but it didn't get the result that the Android had wanted. Rather the Taiyou ship maintained it's trajectory, despite the damage it sustained. With that portion of the ship isolated, and redundant systems allowing normal functions despite the catastrophic attack. The Major pressed her attack.

In her mind she thanked the Aschen, as time itself slowed down, then came to a sudden stop. The Suit's built in Chrono Shift systems allowed the Major to create a localized time dilation field. This field enveloped her immediate form, causing time around the field to slow down, and time in the immediate field to speed up. This was perceived by the sudden disappearance of the Major and her form, despite the weapons having her dead to rights.

Everything moved fluidly around her, with the distortion of time, she closed in on her target at imperceptible speed.

Indeed by the time it took the very electrons in it's mind to process information, the Major had closed the gap, wrapping her arms around the android and disengaging the time dilation field.

"Just the wrong place at the wrong time huh?" She said, enveloping the android in a bear hug of superhuman strength, then she engaged the suit's Bifrost systems and enveloped them both into a multicolored wormhole of light.

"I play for keeps." She growled, while they began tumbling through space and time itself.

"And I'm tossing your ass into a sun, billions of light years away."

The Drills would grind against the Kanvium plating of the Combat skin, though the drill bits would break long before the plating would ever give way, and thus, the Android would find it impossible to penetrate the rigid plating of the suit. And should it attempt to drill in weaker points, it would find a strange material, that hardened when pressure and friction was applied.

When he moved to try and tear the armor off of her, he would come free and the armor would remain, with a few minor cosmetic scratches. It seemed whatever alien race built this suit of armor, built it to last.

The Sudden warp however interfered with the Bifrost, and the Major found herself on this strange ship. However, the rest of the Taiyou fleet had long began to close in on the pair.

"Whoever sent you, whoever created you. We've done nothing to you, The Taiyou Empire is not to be made your enemy." The suit's opaque visor cleared up, revealing a violet haired woman with crimson eyes.

"Leave us in peace now while the damage is minimal. Or continue to fight us, and we won't stop until every last one of your master's worlds are burned to cinders."

She was formulating a plan. The Suit's visor could withstand nothing short of a nuke blowing up in her face. And her prosthetic body could withstand it's own set of punishment.

"We're not that different, you and I. If you're even sentient. I've seen Aiyannas with more thinking power than you.

A Voice cracked in the Major's comm. "Hold tight, Help is on the way."

422-201 reaponds by broadcasting a video to the major's suit. The video reveals the hundred of trillions put into the project to create a single Android to fight and end all wars. Then the science team that designed his AI were part of a cult that made him self aware. Going rogue he remotely shut down the life support systems on the space station he was taken to by the cult. He has been hunted for years as he wages a war against anything he deems a threat. His objectives and goals change according to his location and progress. 422-201 was made to end war for the empire that created him, but the cult set him on a personal mission to end all war.

Turning towards the viewing window facing the planet surface lit by city lights, 422-201 points to a single location before sending another video to the major showing a live feed of the crew beginning to cut through the door to the Armory. A charge is set on the door and wired to a high powered explosive that doesn't simply explode, but spreads through air as if oxygen were gas. In minutes every inch of the interior of the starship would be engulfed in fire. She has time to warn the ship, but also knows 422-201 can remotely detonate it.

"I have nothing personal against your military." The words displayed on screen across the majors visor.

Two missiles, with one designed to knock the shields down. That would be the result had the Galaxy Police cruiser not carried some of the most advanced defensive systems at the disposal of the Galaxy Police.

Both missiles impacted the shields, but set off several alarm bells within the flight deck. Haruko grasped the throttle, and the control stick and promptly yanked them back, the nose of the Galaxy Police vessel banked upwards, as it's engines kicked onto overdrive the Galaxy Police vessel began to rapidly climb in altitude, while Haruko's eyes moved across several displays, every local Fireknaught ship was being garnered for targeting solution, while the Seina uplinked with orbital Taiyou assets.

"This is going to keep getting out of hand, I'm requesting emergency peacekeeper deployment to the Ruula settlement of Nimbasa City!"

"Emergency Peacekeeper deployment granted, I'm downloading target profiles from your ships computer now." The voice on the other end replied. "You've done your part, return to HQ."

Haruko offered an abrupt nod, before she replied. "Roger that." And then pulled higher into orbit, as several Type-0 Cosmo Zero fighters sped past the cruiser towards the planet below.

Haruko also turned her gaze to meet the massive Matokey ship that was slowly slipping into Ruula's upper atmosphere.

----

Down in Nimbasa, the Galaxy Police ship had already retreated, but targeting profiles were given to Taiyou forces in orbit, several sonic booms cracked through the city as hundreds of individual starfighters began their descent from the upper atmosphere.



Dozens of Renzan Type 3 Heavy Transports also descended through the cloud cover, the backs of the craft opened up as hundreds of paratroopers began to deploy, their bright blue parachutes blending in with the blue skies.

One of the Type 0 Cosmo Zeroes caught the Fireknaught battle airship, swooping down hard, it garnered a lock and a targeting solution, the Pilot grasping the control stick, before depressing the trigger.

25mm Autocannons opened fire, sending hundreds of high-velocity armor piercing rounds careening towards the Fireknaught ship from behind. A Second Zero formed up behind the first, and unleashed two AAM-3 Radar guided Anti-Air missiles, which carried a high-explosive warhead that could tear through even the heaviest air armor.

The missile careened through the skies, bobbing and weaving intent on impacting it's target.




The Fireknaught transport wasn't spared similar harassment, as Cosmo Zeroes darted in from above, peppering the hull of the transport with 25mm rounds from their autocannons. The ratta-tat-tat of their weapons fire echoed throughout Nimbasa; along with the screech of their engines. The skies filled with Taiyou paratroopers that began to slowly descend on Nimbasa.

Touko couldn't believe it. The sands erupting in gunfire? Paratroopers from the clouds? She had heard something about the government agreeing to some sort of treaty, but this was going way too far. It was hero time.

"Kuso! This is enough! Emmet, Ingo, Elesa, you lazy bastards! Time to take care of this the way I should have from the start. Like a HERO, darn it!" She took the PA system again. "Fireknaughts! Hear me! I, Emiko Touko, ex-Champion of the Unova Pokemon League, hereby challenge one of your number to a formal Pokémon duel! You have 24 hours from receipt of this message to round up as many strong Pokémon as you can, then meet me in front of the Battle Subway entrance. If you win, you can stay. But if you lose, you leave us and our planet alone. And if I may make a friendly suggestion? It's going to be hard to catch any Pokémon when there's gunfire all over the place! Touko, OUT!"

Maybe this would even please the Miso Force to see her go all-out.

No one was willing to wait for twenty-four hours to pass. No one was even willing to wait for twenty-four minutes to pass. It was time to take action against these foreign invaders and it was time to do it now.

Touko would be in for the shock of her life as instead of heeding her warning, the citizens of Nimbasa City rallied through the streets they called home. Man, woman, and children alike. They all gathered and began marching towards the scene of fighting. Nary a scared face stood among the crowd. They knew why they were there.

Touko would be joined be Elesa, who would appear on her left. "Touko!" she cried and pointed, "The citizens aren't running! They're...they're fighting back!"

Indeed they were. Many a person had a PokeBall out and was calling out whatever Pokemon they had at their disposal for the battle. From the tiniest of Flabebe to the mightiest of Charizards, they all stood just outside the fighting, forming a ring around them. Should any of the combatants stare around them, they would realize they were surrounded by sheer number and mass. The cumulative power would be off the charts.

One of the masses had a bull horn of his own. "WE DON'T WANT ANY OF YOU HERE!" he bellowed. A chorus of shouts agreed. The man continued on, "FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS WE HAVE LIVED IN PEACE AND HARMONY WITH ONE ANOTHER! WE WILL NOT SEE THAT CRUMBLE UNDER THE WEIGHT OF YOUR BATTLESHIPS! NIMBASA CITY SHALL LIVE!"

The crowd exploded into shouts of agreement...shouts of anger. And then the Pokemon of the masses all started moving in, taking down anything that wasn't of Ruulan origin.

"Flying-Types!" one voice cried above the others, "We need Flying-Types!"

But the shout wasn't even necessary. A swarm of Flying-Types of all varieties came out of the woodwork and began pummeling everything in the skies. The Paratroopers would find their descent interrupted by Scizors, Skarmory, and Swellow nipping at their parachutes, tearing them apart. Fearows and Honchkrows would catch those that fell and toss them to the ground. The waiting crowds of Pokemon would be there to give these paratroopers a "warm" welcome.

Meanwhile, the more experienced trainers set to work on taking down the massive battleships.The fleet of Charizards that would be gunning for them was terrifying in it's own right. Some were mega-Evolved, others were not. But it didn't matter how much power some had over others. They all had enough power within them to take down the Renzan Type 3 Heavy Transports. As the Charizard Fleet began to fly through the ranks, they took pieces of their hull with it. Many a warning light would flash and many a ship would be on the verge of collapsing. On the next go round, it was very likely that these ships would crash if they didn't pull out of there.

The Fireknaught Federation had it's own problems to deal with. They had the fight from the ground. Apparently, there were some people who didn't take too kindly to the settlement of these foreigners and were unleashing some pent up aggression.

"TEAR THEM APART!" one woman would scream.

Maybe a little bit too much pent up aggression...

Regardless, they would have to deal with a swarm of their own. A Shiftry cut through one of the Fireknaught's metal weapon with Leaf Blade. An Escavalier charged through one tank while a Haxorus flipped another. Someone's Bouffalant wouldn't be ignored either, as it began tearing through Fireknaught soldiers left and right. There was as much madness below as there was above.

The Miso Force wouldn't be spared either. They would be feeling the full power Pokemon would possess. Electric-Types swooped in and began pummeling them with a whole variety of lightning attacks while Ground-Types struck from below. Dig would be very much perilous to them. Pride and challenge were out of the question. This would be a fight for their survival. These opponents would prove themselves to be very much more than they appeared on their scanning devices.

"W-wow..." Elesa stood by Touko, slack jawed, "I've never seen such unity from these people. They're really giving it everything they got."

The message would be clear to the Taiyou Fleet, the Miso Force, and even the Fireknaught Federation alike. Get off the planet...or be destroyed.

Before Siena and Gambit could begin to reply to the Umbreon, the ground began to shake around them. Gambit was hovering, so it was ineffective to him. However, Siena was still in Land Form and began bouncing around like a pinata on a child's birthday.

"What the-" Siena glanced up towards the sky at the sound of the bombs hitting the streets below, "That fight escalated quickly."

Gambit turned to Siena, a look of apprehension accompanying that determined gleam on his face, "What do we do?"

A moment passed. Siena's eyes darkened, the cute Land Form disappearing before everyone's eyes to reveal it's Sky Form to everyone.

"We do what any Crimson Guild member would do," Siena told Gambit, "We fight for our home."

With that, Siena kicked off the ground, shooting up and over the building. Gambit turned towards the Umbreon and her company and shrugged, "Well, you don't have to help us. But it looks like a full scale invasion is going on and we could really use every Pokemon to our advantage."

Meanwhile, Siena landed through the gaping hole in the roof, right in between Lumi, Skyball, Dee, Pitch, and Zap. Pitch reared back in shock while Dee ran forward.

"Siena! Good to see you!" Dee spoke harshly and quickly, with authority, "Any details about what that was? Is there a Ground-Type inbound?"

"Negative, Dee," Siena spoke a similar lingo, "An alien invasion. And we're going to take it down."

"Ooooh, aliens!" said Skyball enthusiastically, "How many guild points will that go towards our team? We can finally dethrone Team Madness!"

"Skyball..."

"THE REVOLUTION HAS BEGUN! WE SHALL BECOME CHAMPIONS! FIRST THE GUILD, NEXT THE WORLD!" Skyball's mocking tone was enough to send Lumi into a fit of laughter which the Emolga quickly joined.

Dee sighed, "If you could put that much energy into your jobs, I wouldn't have to come rescue you all the time."

"Hey now," Lumi leaned on the tiny head of the Dedenne, "How were we supposed to know a Turf War was going to break out while we got this Nidorina?"

A low growl emitted from deep in the Dedenne's throat, causing Lumi to stand up straight. Dee was not in a mood for nonsense.

Meanwhile, Siena talked with Pitch and Zap, "If you two would like, you are more than willing to help us out. Otherwise, seek shelter. Things could get dicey."

Just then, a large form landed gracefully in the opening on top of the building. The large orange dragon's eyes were like saucers as it described the scene above them, "Holy mother of Arceus...there's a massive revolt going on. Pokemon of all shapes and sizes are fighting these massive machines. What the hell did you guys cause out here?"

"Oh, hey Unix!" Lumi waved cheerfully, "Perfect timing!"

"You know us," Skyball shrugged sheepishly, "Our shenanigans and all."

Dee sighed irritably while Siena raised a brow, "Wait...you said Pokemon are already fighting them?"

"Yeah. Humans are revolting against the invaders. All their Pokemon are out there, fighting back. I've never seen so many in one place. It's massive!"

"Well, then we have to help them!" Siena replied determinedly, staring at Team Volt, "I think it'll be fine if Rubira joins you guys now. No need for secrecy at this point."

Lumi shurgged, "She may have taken the initiative and already joined the fight. She's got a better view than we do."

Siena nodded, "Right. Unix, send word to Crimson. Tell him everything's going haywire in Nimbasa. We may need to pull teams together to join us if necessary. Tell him he may need to join us."

Unix nodded and took off at such intensity that it made the building shake slightly. A few seconds later and he was already en route to the Kalos Region, away from the fighting in Nimbasa.

"Alright, guys," Siena arched her body, "Let's show these guys the full brutality of the Crimson Guild!"

Siena and Skyball flew out the opening above while Dee and Lumi took off through the grate system Pitch and Zap had just come from. For a moment, nothing moved. Then Pitch began to run in the same direction.

"I think I'm going to help them out," Pitch looked at Zap, all serious placated on his face, "Will you help me?"

Zap nodded. "Honestly, this is just getting weird." He follwed behind Pitch.


Glow yelped as the ground began to shake, although Fluff just flew upwards. "What the?" Aurora and Mud seemed to be having similar reactions. "What in the name of arches is going on?" Mud yelled.