Danny Latiel - Posts

Danny Latiel

Poster: Gaiadarkstar Post Synopsis: Darien drops his sword "Drop your swords if you don't want to be electrocuted" Error: Stylistic Dialogue Length loses urgency (If Darien wanted them to drop their swords, I think he would have just yelled "DROP YOUR SWORD!" without the electroc...

Danny Latiel

Poster: Qetzo Plot Synopsis: Raos tries to catch them Raos sheathed his weapons as the man did his relaxing himself slightly. Error: Technical Confused meaning Suggested Fix: Raos sheathed his weapons as the man did the same and began to relax. Raos simply looked back unafraid into his eyes, it woul...

Danny Latiel

Poster: Gaiadarkstar Plot Synopsis: Darien recognizes Agbais "I never thought I would say this but I agree with the assasin. Error: Technical Missing Punctuation (Comma before conjunctions "but, and, yet") Spelling Suggested Fix: "I...this , but...the assassin I am not a citisen ...

Danny Latiel

Poster Gaiadarkstar Plot synopsis: Darien faces off with the Prince Darien ... followed the assasines direction... the man maid sense. Error: Technical Possesive Punctuation Homonym confusion Spelling Suggested Fix Darien...followed the assassin's direction...the man made sense. Not knowing where Ly...

Danny Latiel

Poster: Qetzo Post Synopsis: Continued face off between Raos and Hathuel drawing to conclusion “Do you .. change that fact.” he asked drawing his own weapon. “Yuri you can best help me by helping Darien find Lyra. Please.” he said in response to Yuri's offer Error: Technical Incorrect Punctuation (C...

Danny Latiel

No worries. I just posted so quickly because I was at a friend's house. It's a death in his family, not mine. My household has done its best to comfort them. To be honest, it's a bit of a chore with all incessant ritual involved. It has given me a taste of death and how it affects people, which is v...

Danny Latiel

Haven't been on in a while. Funerals and prayers to attend. Will post today.

Danny Latiel

Since I'm waiting for everybody else to post, let me show you the other character I wanted to submit into the roleplay. I dropped him in favor of Bae'myr because he seemed a little too...serious. I could have had a lot of fun with him though. His name is Lazzaro Calabresi, a native of Lombardia, Ita...

Danny Latiel

Poster: Gaiadarkstar Post Synopsis: Darien and the Crix Group arrive where Hathuel and Raos were about to fight. Lyra is nowhere in sight and Darien goes off to find her. He finds the Atlantean Prince and Voraxum, but no Lyra. Finally Darien came upon Raos and one of the cloaked figures but Lyra was...

Danny Latiel

That's reassuring Gaia. I find Anjali to be the cutest thing since Pikachu. The only interaction between her and Bae'myr was when Bae'myr was possessed by Matron Ghaunarra, who wanted her blood. Most unfortunate. One wonders: how does a dragon mate with non-dragons? The question is all at once intri...

Danny Latiel

Indeed. I should thank you; this means less work on my end.

Danny Latiel

Would you like me to edit your writing?

Danny Latiel

I'm game. I believe that there's been a noticeable lack of action with Anjali and Kaai. I hope that Kawaii Maria still posts here. What do we do if she's abandoned her character?

Danny Latiel

Ah, foiled by the soft pause.

Just put the comma between "Lyra" and "go." Putting a "Hurry!" in there wouldn't hurt. Thank you for responding with your own solution to the Raos-Lyra dialogue. I'm not infallible, so don't hesitate to bring up a counter argument.

Danny Latiel

Lyra can't be snapped up if she's already dead.

Danny Latiel

Guys, I'm going to put technical and stylistic fixes here. Technical problems break the rules of English Grammar. Some are ignored for the sake of style, such as fragments and onomatopoeia. Stylistic fixes help improve clarity or reduce redundancy (Changing "He began to embark on proceeding to ...

Danny Latiel

Behold, the beautiful sight of nothing.

Danny Latiel

(Thread Deleted)

Danny Latiel

Here it is, the manifestation of my inner Grammar Nazi. Please post in this thread if you wish to have your grammar corrected and I'll set about checking over everyone's writing for technical mistakes. Here's an example: User: Danny Latiel Post synopsis: Bae'myr goes on an intoxicated rant "i i...

Danny Latiel

Okay! Just to be fair, I'll post any of my own errors alongside. I'll see if I can make a thread on it. Anybody who will allow me to correct their writing, post there please. An error in the coding that gave me three copies of the same thread gave me an idea: For privacy's sake, anybody who wants a ...