I admit that in the past I've been a nasty,
They weren't kidding when they called me kinda strange,
But you'll find that nowadays,
I've mended all my ways,
Repented, seen the light, and made a change,
And I fortunately know a little secret,
It's a talent that I always have possessed,
And dear lady, please don't laugh,
I use it on behalf,
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed.