Sometimes when I wake up, it's still hard to believe he's gone. Bruce always seemed beyond death, like he could stay ten steps ahead of it forever. Almost my whole life has been devoted to the cause he believed in, despite us never seeing quite eye to eye on how to believe in it. I never wanted to become Batman, more specifically I never wanted to become Bruce Wayne. I never wanted to believe so coldly in the world the way he did, always suspicious of everyone. But people forget that Bruce never chose to be that way, the world made him that way. The same as it's made me. In the end I suppose I was foolish to think I would never become the Batman. My destiny was chosen for me the night Bruce watched that monster slay my parents. The night I watched my parents die. It was a bond made in tragedy, which lead to the burning desire for justice. But with Bruce that would sometimes become confused for vengeance. I know for myself what that feels like, I fought the pangs of revenge the night I confronted my parents murderer. I think Bruce had a harder time shaking those demons.
As I lay in bed under the protective roof of Wayne Manor, I can't help but feel Bruce's presence still among me. Like his spirit has been etched into the walls, the very fabric of the structure. In a way it gives me strength, but in a way it makes me feel just a little uneasy. I've never questioned my capabilities or my judgment before, and Bruce always valued my views above all others. But with him gone it seems like a confirmation in my mind that I'll never get, he was always there to objectively look at what I wanted to do. He was always there to lend his advice, to confirm my strength for me, but now he can't. I always thought I had a firm grasp on Bruce's world, that I understood it better than anyone else. I can't imagine I'd overlook the fact that with the title of Batman, comes the weight of the world. No wonder Clark was scared of him.