What's this? Well I suppose I'll give it a shot. I mean, there's nothing else I need to be doing right now. It's not like I can change the world with a wave or anything, noooo sir.

Name: Eisenhower
Nickname: Ike
Age: Older than every last one of you, that's how old I am. How rude of you to ask, I must say. We just met!
Gender: Complicated answer, you wouldn't understand and I don't feel like explaining.
Race: Me, myself and I.
Sexual Orientation: Ha!
Height: Good question. Hmmm...
Physical Description AKA What The Hell I Look Like: So you want to know what I look like, do you? Remember how I called you rude? Because you are. I have never seen anyone ask such insensitive questions! Well...maybe I have but that's besides the point. I'm not going to answer!

Oh alright, I will. I blame you for this though...

So what do organic bodies have, again? Oh yeah; Flesh, blood, little itty bitty fellas going about the body doing their job in poor working conditions(have you SEEN what goes on underneath your skin?), little pay and a boss that doesn't appreciate them. All they want to do is go home, drink a beer and bang their wife but no. They work their asses off to keep you alive. Give the little guys some respect, without them you'd be nothing. Where was I?....

Oh right. Like you I have two arms, two legs, skin, a heart, a pinky toe. No spleen though. No sir. I know what it's like to be kicked there and it is not enjoyable, not at all. So yeah, pretty much exactly like you. I'm assuming anyway. For all I know you could be a disgusting finger monster made entirely out of thumbs! I've seen one of those before and I still shutter thinking about it. So yeah, by my standards I'm your average person.

Emphasis on "my standards."

Do I BELIEVE?!: Short answer: Yes. In myself because I just that perfect.
Do I Have The Power?: <-- I'm to modest to say. Ha, who am I kidding? I'm just that better then you, kid.
Getting Bored Now: Yup, I agree with the bolded.
How I Feel About Your Odd Little Universe: Boredom. Bored. Bored, bored, bored. Oh how I am bored, let us count the ways. Actually, let's not. That would take far to long and I don't have the time, patients or motivation to do so for as I said and will continue to say: I. Am. Bored. But I'm kind so I shall grace you with a simpler answer. I can conceive reality in ways your mind litterally can not comprohend. Whereas you see simple light I see the the transcript of innumerable stories written across the expanse. You who are limited by a small number of dimensional constants can not possibly understand how frustrating it is to limit myself in such a way to interact with what you dub reality.

Do you understand? No, I don't think you do.

And thus, wee one, I am bored. Bored because I choose to interact with a world that is not my own. Bored because I choose to observe. Because I find you so very interesting and choose not to interfere. Bored because I can do so much but have chosen to do so little. I am bored. In such a profound way that that it's hard for even I to describe.

So I will relieve myself of such boredom. I will be entertained and you, kid, will be my show.

Stuff: Your funny.

Story Time!: I think I'll like this section. Once upon a time there was a pretty princess that lived in a castle. Her hair glowed like nuclear fire and she w-....What? Wrong story? Damn, I liked that one too. How about the story of the Hero Who Made The Exploding Lemons? No? Well what then? Oh. You want to hear a story about myself?

Fine.

There are more like me, you know? We live in a...I think you call them plains of existence, right? Right. So yeah, we live in a plain of existence that you skirt all the time but have no idea the what's actually there. I'll tell you what it is. It's the hedges in some guys backyard. Yeah, that about sums up the discrepancy between what your lot and my lot find important. What exactly am I talking about, you ask? Now that would be telling.

I think I'm the first of my kind to show up here in...ever. Oh don't delude yourself, we aren't gods. And we certainly don't have some mandate on high to not interfere with you or anything. We don't know about you, we don't care. You are ignored. I'm here because I'm bored. Stumbled upon this place and found it entertaining as hell so I decided to stay and watch. That's why I'm bored. It's my own damn fought but I digress.

So what was my point again? Meh, no matter.

I'm bored, story's over.