The CEO of one of Ireland's largest investment companies was distracted, something had happened to him in another life that brought back memories of this one. Something that was supposed to be a distraction had become more important, was demanding attention from him now. Two lives that were supposed to be separate, always had been before, were merging. When the mercenary had admitted to having been married he had not been entirely truthful, it had been the businessman who had been married. The distinction between the two lives was getting blurred. And now Sara was in his head again she leapt out at him from behind shadows of memories, things half remebered. Sometimes it was a moment shared, sometimes it was something she had said and there she was again leaning over his shoulder an inquisitive look on her face, he could feel her thinking
"Well what are you going to do about it, I am here now and I am not going away again until you have found some solution"
Just like her, a stubborn streak a mile wide always directed at him. He knew he would eventually bow to the pressure turned at him. He always felt rather like the rabbit caught in the car headlights, frightened almost half to death and yet too mesmerised by the beauty to move.
And here he was again caught in the dual headlights of their shared love, wishing that it would go and leave behind the hollow empty feeling knowing at the same time that it could and would never go as long as he lived. All he could do was live with it and try as hard as he could to make things right, which in this case was to ensure that her death was given a meaning. He turned back to the computer that had been running a business growth projection that had stopped at the back of his eyeballs every time he had tried to take it in. He closed the simulation and opened the email client, ignoring the long list of messages demanding immediate attention. He sat in silence looking at the screen before writing an e-mail
"My dearest Sara,
Here I am again my love writing this e-mail to you in the vain hope that somehow an echo of what I say will reach you wherever you are. I know I was never very good at saying I love you you knew it but I never said it as often as I should, as often as I meant to. Now I can never tell you it again. I think I have a chance to lay the ghost of you, a way to keep what was good and let go of the feelings I have after your death, I never shed a single tear for you, not from the second I heard about your death now I can feel them behind my eyes just waiting for a chance to come out. And that is where I may be able to find absolution, absolution for the sin of my continuing life now that you are gone. When I have done I will hold a wake for you my darling we will celebrate what you meant to me and I can stop punishing myself, maybe even become whole again. I want to be one person I am tired of being split, incomplete. You were the only person that ever saw me as one I nearly told someone else, but in the end she did not turn up, maybe it was for the best perhaps the time is not here yet.
I know you won't reply, your dead after all, but I will never stop looking for an answer.
All my love Always Darragh."
The two men looked out at the e-mail he filled in Sara's e-mail address at the top and hit send. There was an almost palpable sense of relief when it was sent. For a split second the two men were one again, a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth before the mercenary left.
He reached over and pressed the intercom to talk to his P.A.
"Jackie, I have had a sudden call I have things that need attending to in Europe, I am taking the jet and will return when I hae finished, and before you ask, I don't know even roughly how long I will be, If you could book me a slot to fly to Florence I will take a couple of days lay over there and go on to my final destination. I will not be available, you know the routine."
[dec]He waited long enough to hear her assent, thanked her and releasing the button heaved a huge sigh. Back to Florence, he only hoped he would find some sort of trail to follow.[/desc]
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