My Beautiful Rescue

My Beautiful Rescue

I sat down on the swing in the empty playground, humming my anthem. I slipped off my flip-flops and ran my feet through the sand. I could feel each indivudual grain fall in between my toes; I smiled. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting my senses flow freely. I never thought I would feel the way I felt, but it felt good to be alone.

The soft breeze fluttered through my hair and I chuckled a bit. My pigtails fluttered into my face. I wrinkled my nose, and my smile was still full. I stood up, and span around with my arms out. I lost myself in the silence and the breeze, and I started singing without my knowing.

"I've been jumping from the tops of buildings. For the thrill of the fall. Ignoring sound advice. And any thought of consequence. My bones are shattered. My pride is shattered. And in the midst of this self-inflicted pain. I can see my beautiful rescue."

I opened my eyes when I realized what I was doing. I looked around to make sure I was alone, and then I started singing as loud as I could.

"I'm falling more in love. With every single word I withhold. I'm falling more in love. With every single word you say. I'm falling head-over-heels for you." I sang without a care in the world. Then I stopped, opened my eyes, and looked down. It reminded me of him.

I shouldn't have been singing. Especially as loud as I was. He lived around the area where I was. I looked around again, and sighed. No one was around. And why should I care if anyone was around, anyway? As long as he wasn't there, I should be fine.

I looked to the sky and let my voice soar. "I've been dancing on the tops of buildings. At the top of my lungs I'm singing you a song. Don't you leave me alone. My bones were shattered. My pride lays shattered. Well I'll trample my pride and tell the whole world. To dance with me." I sang as I swayed.

I sighed, and hugged myself. I wished I could be in his arms so badly. "I'm falling more in love. With every single word I withhold. I'm falling more in love. With every single word you say. I'm falling head-over-heels for you again. I'm crying out. 'Wash my hands, these bloody hands Lord. Open my mouth and I'll sing.' I'm falling more in love. With every single word I withhold. I'm falling more in love. With every single word you say. I'm falling head-over-heels for you. I've been dancing on the tops of buildings. With you."

Then I heard a voice behind me. I gasped. It was him. I turned around, and unwrapped my arms.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Thinking." I said, heading back over to the swing. I broke out into a cold sweat. I can't believe he had been there when I sang. How could he have heard?

"Yeah, this is a good place to think," he said. "What are you thinking about?"

I rose my eyebrows. "Stuff."

"Stuff?" he asked with a smile.

Why must he taunt me with his smile? And why must he speak? His voice and smile were just tearing my heart into shreds. Being around him made my heart fall to the very pit of my stomach. I nodded. "Yes, stuff."

"You live over a mile away, though. I'm sure there's plenty of places to think a mile away." he said.

I shrugged. "I like playgrounds. They make me feel happy."

He nodded. "I see."

I nodded back. "And the walk is part of my thinking time."

"This place is usually empty. I've never seen you around here before. It's nice to see you here." he said.

I smiled a tad. "Thank you. And it's nice to see you when we're not at school, or on the bus, or at the bus stop or something."

He nodded again. "I'm glad to hear that."

There was a silence. "Why don't you sing when you and I are together?" he asked.

I froze and stared at him. It was a question that I got asked more than once daily. "I just... Don't. I sing sometimes when I'm with other people. I mean, I'm in chorus. I have to. And why do you ask? Do you like my voice?"

He evaded the question. "You have lots of bows on you today."

I nodded and touched my hair. "Yes. Yes I do."

"I like it." he said.

I smirked, "Thank you." I felt sick. I liked him so much. I just could never tell whether he likes me or not. There were the yes's, and there were the no's. They just evened each other out.

There was more silence.

He took a deep breath. I looked at him, I looked away, and then I looked back again. I wished my questions were answered.

"Your voice could get you somewhere someday, I think." he said.

I chuckled. "If only I could find the courage."

"You write well, too. Why don't you do anything with your talents?" he asked.

I shrugged and I began to feel uncomfortable. "I'm... Just scared, I suppose."

"You shouldn't be." he encouraged.

I shook my head. "How was your meet?"

He sighed. "We lost."

I stood up, even though my soul wanted me to plant myself in the sand. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did that make you feel bad at all?"

He nodded slightly, and I arched my brows. I couldn't stand seeing him sad. "I did really bad. I know it's not completely my fault, but I still feel bad. It hurt my pride."

My jaw dropped. "I need to go. Do you want a hug?" I asked. He shrugged slightly and I walked over to him. I opened my arms, he opened his.

We hugged.

I didn't want to let go.

"I'll always be there if there's someone you need to talk to." I whispered in his ear when I let go. He nodded, and I hastily walked away.

"Bye." he said.

I didn't reply, or even look back. I just continued about on my way, and tears filled my eyes. How could I do this to myself? I was going to get attached to someone who probably didn't even like me the way I liked them. I couldn't do it to myself again.

I wiped my eyes and walked faster away. I could feel his eyes on me and a tear or two ran down my cheek. My walk turned into a sprint, and the sprint turned into a run. I cried as I ran home. I couldn't do it to myself, even though I knew I'd already let it happened.

And as I ran home, the lyrics echoed again and again, over and over, in my head.


My wishes.