---

Everyone's determination was contagious. Faussin took a deep breath, feeling better than he'd felt in a long time.

Even if he couldn't find a happy way out, the others could, and that was what counted. Hesitantly, he leaned into Clair, exhausted and faint from pain, hunger and blood loss. Don't leave. I'm here, and you're here, and no one has to be alone. We can be friends.

Friends. He smiled, softly. That word felt so warm.

---

---

---

Mercy awoke with start.

Is it morning? It has to be morning by now, right?

She quickly sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She zeroed in on the clock hanging on her wall: 6:32.

Mercy couldn't count how many times she'd woken up that night, constantly checking the clock to see what time it was and how much longer they'd have to wait until the final trial began. Sure, six in the morning wasn't an ideal wake-up time for some of the others, but she didn't care. She couldn't wait any longer.

Taking a deep breath, she kicked her covers onto the floor and stood, filled with too much anticipation to be tired. She threw off her t-shirt and sleep pants, slipped into the clothes she'd worn the very first day they'd woken up in that h*llhole and grabbed a brush from her nightstand. Tearing through her hair with the brush, she tied her red hair back into a tight ponytail and brushed her wispy bangs to the side.

This was it. This had to be it.

She wanted to feel the sun again. She wanted to sit in the rain, she wanted to lay down in the grassy field outside her house, she wanted to smell the flowers--she wanted to feel free again. In the back of her mind, she knew full well that there was a chance Monokuma was lying about the chance of escape, but...

Mercy wanted to believe him.

Mercy wanted so badly to believe escape was within their grasp, that freedom was so close, and the more she tried to calm herself down the more desperately she clung to the idea.

"He may be lying," Mercy reminded herself as she flung her door open. The hallways were a suffocating sight, as always. "Keep your wits about you, Crocker--but don't lose your spirit."

She missed being excited. It was like a breath of fresh air.

Admittedly, excitement wasn't a feeling she experienced often--not to this degree, at least. Though there was something thrilling about going after dangerous game, outside of hunting, her life had always seemed rather dull. No, not 'dull,' exactly--uneventful? Mercy could never find the word for it.

She took a deep breath, making for Clair's door--before she knocked, she paused.

Efficiency told her to knock on Clair's door, bias told her to wake up the jewelry boys first.

Bias won. Mercy respected Clair and all, but it was hard to predict her emotional state at times. Today, Mercy wanted to be greeted with a smile or a stupid joke--she could depend on the boys for that. Clair, on the other hand, was more of a wild card.

Besides--even if they weren't feeling as good as she was, maybe she could spark something in them. She loathed herself for the way she shut down after the second trial, and even more so for how she'd depended on them so much. The least she could do was try and make up for it.

Buzzing with energy, Mercy first knocked on Graham's door, then Faqir's. "Get up, you lazy a*ses. We've got work to do!"

She then turned toward Madoka's door, knocking on it as well. If she could him up, he could fetch Clair, Clair could fetch Fauss, and she could deal with Graham and Faqir. It was perfect.

Her gaze lingered on Madoka's door. The Ultimate Lucky Student was, adorable, in a kid-like way--she recognized the strength he'd found as things grew worse and worse. Even when everything was clearly falling apart, he was still there, piecing things back together and keeping the roof from falling on everyone's heads. Yes, he was still a bit wimpy in Mercy's eyes, but his efforts were admirable.

Mercy paced toward the middle of the hallway, fingers drumming impatiently. What time was it now?

"Seven hours of sleep is more than enough, you losers," Mercy said to herself, banging on their doors again. True, they'd been woken up around two in the morning to go to another trial and watch a dear friend drown in ink, but they'd had four hours of sleep before that and three hours of sleep following. That was enough to get them started for the new day, wasn't it?

Mercy gritted her teeth. Viv.

She'd been so close. Freedom may finally have been within their grasp, but Viv...

Mercy shook her head, taking a deep breath. She was trying so hard not to think about it, but she couldn't shake the image from her head. Just imagining the librarian inhaling the opaque liquid, ink flooding her airways--that horrible, helpless, choking sensation...

Snap out of it.

She rubbed the bridge of her nose, blocking out those thoughts. Instead, she remembered the warm sun coming up on the horizon, trees that stretched for miles, and lakes that sparkled like seas of crystals. Mercy was going to see them again, and she was going to drag her friends with her.

Mercy paused. Friends. I can call them that, can't I?

Madoka awoke to the sound of frantic knocking feeling oddly lighthearted.

The events of the last trial turned over in his mind again and again--the final trial was approaching.

Final. The word lifted all the weight from Madoka’s shoulders. Grinning, he rolled out of bed, called out a quick “Coming!”, and began to get dressed.

Clair still had his sweater--well, that was fine. He could get a new one from the boutique.

Madoka entered the hallway just as Faqir was cracking open his door. The Ultimate Jeweler yawned, stretching, and waved halfheartedly to Madoka and Mercy. Madoka waved back with more enthusiasm.

“I’ll go get Clair!” he announced. “And then we can walk over and wake Fauss up together. Mercy, did you already get Graham too? Where should we start today? I think the security offices might be a good idea, we’re already on this floor anyway. We can work our way up. A-am I rambling? I-I’m rambling, aren’t I...I’m just so excited. Everyone, that was the last trial!”

Staying optimistic was probably Madoka’s real talent at this point. He struggled not to think about the fact that two more students had once again lost their lives--and in rather brutal ways, at that. It was important to focus instead on the fact that no one else ever would.

As if forgetting his question to Mercy, Madoka sauntered down to Clair’s door without waiting for an answer. He hummed, knocking lightly.

Clair appeared in the doorway still wearing his sweater. Her eyes danced with life, but her expression was dismal overall and her posture stiff. She stepped outside without a word, offering a hand to Madoka.

“I’ve been up for a while,” she admitted. “I barely slept at all last night. I’m worried about today. But hey, I guess it’s best to get it over with, right? Like ripping off a band-aid. And...somehow I feel like I can trust you guys never to tell anyone. Anyway, I want to get Fauss.”

Madoka took her offered hand before responding. “Of course. I’ll go with you so we can walk him to the others together. And about this secret of yours, you can trust me not to tell anyone, okay?”

If he were honest with himself, Madoka dreaded hearing Clair’s secret almost as much as she did. Would she be revealed as a murderer? Was she secretly allied with Monokuma this whole time? Did she come from a family of cannibals? With so many possibilities, it was hard to stay calm.

Even so...despite her rejecting his confession after her trial, Madoka found it impossible to completely let her go. Maybe if he just worked to accept her brokenness and prove that not all men would use her, she could open up to him. It was a long shot, but it was one Madoka was willing to take--Clair was too important to him to give up on now.

“Let’s go see Fauss,” he urged, leading Clair back down the hallway. She followed, oddly distant despite her hand in his.

This was the last investigation, and it would be a darn good one.

---

Seeing Madoka's enthusiasm made Mercy even more excited. Grinning, she pulled Faqir out of his room and into a hug, feeling somehow weightless. "You ready? We're getting out of this h*llhole. We're going home."

Graham's door slammed behind them--Mercy turned, the thief leaning against the wall, laughing nervously. He waved, slowly relaxing, then let out a long sigh. He smiled tiredly. "Hey. Sorry if I spooked you guys, I just, uh... I don't like people coming into my room. Or being near my room."

Mercy laughed. "Weirdo. Get over here!"

She briefly broke away from Faqir to drag Graham over and take them both into a hug. "I'm in a good mood today. You guys should say something stupid, it'll be funny."

Graham leaned into her, closing his eyes. "Too early for jokes. Sleep first."

"Are you kidding? It's already past six," Mercy complained. "I let you guys sleep in! I wake up at four in the morning every day--right before sunrise. Man, have you guys ever seen a good sunrise?"

Graham only grunted in response.

"I'll take that as a no. We're gonna fix that. I know the best places for us to go," Mercy started. She paused--was she being too overwhelming? "If--if you guys would feel up to it, of course. Ha. Sorry, guess I'm just kind of excited to get outta here. I miss my rifle, man."

She grinned suddenly.

"Guys. Guys. Guys, we should go bear hunting."

Madoka and Clair made it back to the boys’ hallway just in time to see Faqir stumble against Mercy, lifting his right foot off the ground.

“Careful, careful!” he said hurriedly. “I think I broke something when I kicked that stand yesterday, I’ve been limping ever since. But hey, if I ever get my foot back and learn how to use a gun, I promise to shoot bears and not you. Ah, okay, okay, you don’t have to say it. I know I’m rusty. I’ll get back into it eventually.”

Madoka briefly recalled the loud crack he’d heard after Faqir kicked his podium. In the moment, he had assumed that crack was from breaking the stand, but it sounded now like Faqir had pretty heavily damaged his foot.

“So you did break something.” Apparently, Clair had noticed too. She held up her damaged wrist as the two passed by to Faussin’s room. “Fracture buddies?”

“No.” Faqir’s expression became oddly serious. “...Fracture buddies isn’t alliterative at all. It has to be fracture friends. Or breakage buddies. I will accept no less.”

Madoka let out a breath of relief. It wasn’t exactly a secret that Clair and Faqir had been on-edge with each other ever since the second trial--for a second, he was scared their relationship had suffered a permanent break after the fifth trial.

Clair chuckled, shaking her head. Madoka took the opportunity to knock on Faussin’s door.

“Sure, sure. Fracture friends.”

Faqir clicked his tongue, patting Mercy’s back.

Speaking of friends…

Faussin had struck something in Madoka when he’d reminded the boy that Madoka never even took the time to check in on him. Clair was right--they had left a mentally ill magician entirely in the care of a mentally ill makeup artist and had assumed everything would be fine.

From then on, Madoka swore to do better.

“Fauss, it’s Madoka,” he called brightly. “We’re all gathering together to start the investigation! Want to get breakfast together before we head off?”

Clair patted his shoulder, offering a smile. Madoka scratched his neck, nervous.

They would only make it through this by sticking together. Madoka was determined to carry that forwards.

---

"First of all, I can easily teach you how to use a gun," Mercy started, glancing down at Faqir's foot. She adjusted herself so that she could help support his weight. "And I'm no doctor, but I live with one and we're used to broken bones. Do you want me to check your foot out? We're gonna be doing a lot of walking today."

Graham mumbled something under his breath, starting to fall asleep on Mercy's shoulder. "Too loud. Need sleep. And bagels."

Mercy scoffed. Remembering he was the Ultimate Thief, she was suddenly more aware of the weight missing from her pocket. "We'll swing by the cafeteria before we start looking through everything. You can get your bagels and give me back my handbook."

He smiled. "Yay."

Faussin's door opened just a sliver. He mumbled something to Madoka, but Mercy was too far away to hear what it was.

Mercy stared, briefly wondering if Faussin was any better than before--or if he'd slept at all, now that she thought about it. When she was treating his wounds, he was almost completely checked out, and it showed. Talking to him, she got the feeling he really couldn't help it sometimes.

Regardless, she had no idea what to say to him. She felt the same way about Clair, for a while. Mercy had never been mad at the makeup artist, not like the others--Mercy knew that none of the students, save for Xhevona perhaps, were terrible people. They only acted out of helplessness, fear, and desperation because of the terrible situation they were in, and she wasn't going to blame them for that.

In a sentence, everything was Monokuma's fault.

Inspired by her jovial mood, Mercy looked over at Clair, deciding it was about time she started getting to know the makeup artist. "Hey, Clair. You doing alright?"

She almost added a 'we don't talk as much as we should', but decided that was a bad idea.

Madoka offered a hand to Faussin, honestly just glad to see him up and about even if the only word he’d gotten out thus far was “hi.”

“Let’s get something to eat,” Madoka offered. “Are you in the mood for anything, Fauss?”

Beside him, Clair glanced over her shoulder at Mercy, blinking. After a moment, her nervous expression softened.

“I’m terrified,” she announced jovially. “But I...I think I’ll be alright. Just gotta power through, right? I can guarantee without hesitation that none of you will ever look at me the same again after you figure this whole deal out, but hey, maybe that won’t be a bad thing. On that note, Fauss, you hanging in there okay? Mercy, how have you been feeling?”

At least she hadn’t shut down completely again. In fact, it seemed to Madoka that Clair was closer to the girl he’d met on the first day than she’d been in a while.

“I’m great too, thanks for asking,” Faqir piped. “...But yeah, I should probably put this foot in a cast or something before we get too investigation-happy.”

“We should all probably get to the nurse after we hit the caf,” Madoka admitted. His neck wasn’t a priority, but it did still hurt somewhat after Clair squeezed it so hard. “A lot of us could use medical attention and we should probably make sure Fauss’s injuries are still alright…”

---

How was she feeling?

Weird. Really weird. Mercy never talked this much, even outside of this prison. The few people who knew her were well aware of the fact that she hated people.

"I've been alright," Mercy replied. She paused. "Well, I don't know, it's--guess it's kinda hard to explain, actually."

"Happy?" Graham tried. "Sad? Tired? I'm tired. I feel tired. Can we go back to sleep for like, I don't know... three more hours? Then we can wake up at a normal time. Like normal people."

"I'm normal. You're wimps," Mercy declared. "And dropping by the nurse's office is probably a good idea. Speaking of, Faqir. I can help you with your foot and Graham can probably carry you wherever we need to go?"

Graham flashed a tired thumbs up. "I might drop you, though."

Faussin opened his door up a smidgen more, taking Madoka's hand. "I-I..."

Whatever he wanted to say, he couldn't seem to get the words out. Mercy couldn't help but think back to Clair after her trial--she'd holed herself up in her room for days. Surely Faussin wanted to do the same thing, but with everyone about to go on an investigative spree, he had little choice but to come out.

Again, Mercy had no clue what the right thing to say was. But she still had to try something, right? Something to make him feel at least a bit more welcome. If they were going to get out, they had to do it as a team.

She smirked at the thought--love and cuddles were certainly not the way, but unity against a terrible force was.

"Fauss," she called out. She paused, trying to think of what to follow up with. "Do you need help getting around, too?"

It wasn't very comforting, but at least it was something. He coughed, mumbling something else in response. Mercy didn't hear it, but she assumed at least Madoka did.

“P-probably,” Madoka heard Faussin mutter.

He offered Faussin a smile, squeezing his hand. “Lean on me if you need to, I don’t mind. I guess we should start with the nurse’s office, huh?”

Clair reached out her injured hand to touch Faussin’s shoulder briefly. “My head hurts. I wasn’t really thinking about how absolutely covered in scars I am during the investigation and trial, but now that we have a bit of time to relax everything hurts. Like...everything. Oh geez, good luck charm, i-is your neck okay?”

“I-it’s fine,” Madoka insisted. The nail marks Clair had dug into his skin stung, sure, but it wasn’t like he was dying. Frankly, he was more interested in just getting to the investigation.

When he thought about his own secrets, Madoka felt nothing. He had never done anything explicitly awful that he remembered. Sure, there was his envy of others with more charisma and friends, and if he were honest with himself it became harder and harder to fight the growing lust towards Clair every time she took her jacket off, but at least he had never killed over that envy or taken advantage of Clair over that lust.

Well--unless Monokuma was going to count his kissing her without permission. In hindsight, that probably wasn’t the best way to get Clair to like him. If her squirming and screaming at him wasn’t enough to prove that much, her instant confession afterwards was.

Madoka let out a long sigh, suddenly dismal. It figures that my first kiss is with a mentally ill woman whose mouth was covered in blood. I’m not lucky at all…

Clair cocked her head at him. “Everything fine, good luck charm?”

Madoka jumped, startled by her voice. “S-sorry,” he said quickly. “I-I was just thinking. Ah...I’m sorry about being rude to you two. I-I’ll try to make it up to you.”

Clair glanced at the floor. “Ah...if you’re talking about that kiss, I think...well, it’s worse for you than it was for me.”

Madoka wilted. She’s not wrong...but did she have to guess it so easily?

Clair patted his shoulder. “I’m not mad at you, don’t worry. Eh...well, not exactly, at least. Flashbacks suck, but I’ll be fine, I guess. Anyways, to the nurse?”

Faqir cheered. “To the nurse! ...I desperately need pain pills, this was a horrible idea and I regret everything.”

---

Graham finally stood up on his own, rubbing his eyes slowly. "I don't have any injuries or know anything about how to treat broken feet. Can I go to the cafeteria and get us stuff to eat while you guys start doing stuff in the nurse's office? I'm really hungry. Like, really hungry."

"Fine with me," Mercy replied. Graham flashed another half-hearted thumbs up and slipped into the cafeteria. Realizing Graham wasn't going to be there to carry Faqir to the nurse's office, Mercy took initiative and scooped him up instead, admittedly surprised by how light he was. "Wow. You're like a feather."

By his door, Faussin slowly stepped out, hesitantly leaning on Madoka for support. Now that Mercy had a better look at him, she realized the magician was terrified--she was afraid to ask whether it was because of any secrets he didn't want them knowing or if it was because of the trial that had just passed. She hoped it was the latter.

"To the nurse," she repeated, heading down the trial room hallway and into the nurse's office. Seeing the hole she'd punched through the door was somehow depressing--that she'd lost her cool in the first place wasn't something she was very proud of. Sighing, she nudged the door open and set Faqir down on one of the cots. "Do you know what you broke, exactly? And actually, does anyone else here at least have some medical knowledge or am I going to end up having to treat everything?"

Faqir mumbled something to Mercy, then shifted. Madoka stood by the door with Faussin and Clair, watching Clair move towards the cabinets.

“Must’ve busted my toes,” Faqir sighed. “I wasn’t thinking so I just kicked the thing full-on with everything I had. In hindsight it was a terrible idea, I don’t know what I expected.”

Clair hesitated a moment before hunting for disinfectant and bandages. “Mercy, I have basic medical knowledge. Not a whole lot, but I can at least look after cuts and bruises and scrapes. Fauss, want me to help you with any leftover scars?”

She paused. In the silence, Madoka almost spoke up, but he thought better of it and merely patted Faussin’s arm.

“I...guess I’ll have to start revealing secrets some time.” Clair nodded once, turning around to face the others. “Okay. Well, you probably picked this up, but I’m also pretty well-equipped when it comes to psychological issues. H-haha, well. Not enough to fix myself, on account of my brain thinking it’s hilarious to trigger trauma responses to every little thing, but enough to provide insight if you ever need it. I’ve studied psychology textbooks, manuals, and every edition of the DSM released to the public thus far until I mapped out most of it front and back. There’s your first secret.”

Madoka couldn’t help but exclaim, “I knew it!”

Clair smiled awkwardly.

“You kept going on these tangents and trying to brush it off, but I knew you were just playing with us. You do know a lot about psychology.”

Clair nodded, turning back to the shelves. “Mm, I still have a lot to learn...new findings are always being released, so there’s a lot to keep up with. And a lot of cases aren’t exactly…‘typical’. I didn’t want anyone finding out because I worried about being seen as anything more than a ditsy makeup artist. But I guess the jig is up now, huh?”

Something in her tone struck Madoka as odd. He swallowed, moving further towards the middle of the room in case Faussin wanted help walking someplace. “Why wouldn’t you want anyone to know you’re more than a makeup artist?”

Clair seemed thoughtful. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I guess...every tidbit you guys don’t know about me is another step towards revealing my true identity. It’s...a part of me I left behind a long, long time ago. I’m scared of getting it back and revealing it to people because then...then I’ll start to act like I used to, and then I won’t be Clair anymore.”

Won’t be Clair? What is she talking about?

Clair was quiet for a moment. “...I said earlier that none of you will look at me the same once everything is revealed and I stand by that. I can say that with confidence because...I think Monokuma knows who I really am. I think he knows Clair isn’t my first identity. I think he knows, and I think he’s going to tell you. I mentioned it briefly before, but...none of you have ever really met me. I’m terrified of knowing that you will.”

“Clair…” It was like she had started speaking in riddles. Madoka vaguely remembered something she had said the day before, when she had told Madoka he didn’t even know her real name. If she wasn’t Clair--if the girl Madoka had fallen in love with didn’t exist--what did that mean for them?

Somehow, he had begun to dread learning Clair’s secrets.

---

"Well," Mercy muttered, taking pain meds off of the shelf for Faqir, "whatever happens, whoever you are, it'll be fine, right?"

Mercy couldn't tell how much time passed while they were inside of the nurse's office. Graham appeared ten minutes in, bringing food for everyone and seeming more awake than he was before. Everyone proceeded to talk back and forth, save for Faussin, who only quietly listened. Though the knowledge that everyone's terrible secrets were about to be uncovered weighed over the group, at least for Mercy, things seemed better than they ever had been.

There was finally hope. There was finally a light at the end of the tunnel.

With everyone having finished eaten and all injuries attended to, Mercy stepped back out into the hallway, looking for the others to follow. Graham swept Faqir up off of the cot and Faussin quietly asked Madoka if it was alright for him to lean on the lucky student again. The magician's nervousness seemed to have lessened some, but he was still clearly uncomfortable with talking.

Mercy adjusted her jacket, bracing herself. "Security office is first. Let's go."

She headed across the hallway to the security office, hand resting on the handle. Looking back to make sure the others were coming, she tried turning the handle--it worked.

Her breath hitched. Opening the door fully, she stepped in.

Monitors. There were monitors all across the walls, each screen showing different sections of the hotel they'd come to know as their prison. At the center of everything, there was a large desk and chair sitting empty. Vaguely, Mercy realized that chair was there for someone to sit in. Someone had to be watching them on these cameras...

"Th-this is some next-level creepy stuff," Graham muttered, biting his lip.

Madoka’s breath caught in his throat.

Clair sucked in a breath beside him. Madoka squeezed Faussin’s hand.

“This is how he knew,” Madoka whispered. “This is how Monokuma always knew where we were, and what we were talking about, and all of our secrets…”

His eyes locked on the empty chair. Scared to say a word, Madoka approached it, surveying the desk it sat at. Madoka touched the bottom of the chair--warm, as if someone had been sitting in it just recently.

Clair had started shaking. Madoka smiled at her over his shoulder.

“Someone...there was a person here,” Madoka murmured, the realization hitting him suddenly. “There’s...there’s someone else here. Someone…”

“Someone behind Monokuma,” Faqir finished. His eyes narrowed. “Yo, Mado. To your left, hand me that rectangle.”

“This one?” Madoka looked to where Faqir was indicating, noticing what appeared to be a student handbook sitting at the desk. He took it, passing it to Faqir. Faqir clicked it to light it up--and immediately dropped it. “W-what?”

Clair lurched back, whispering to herself.

When Faqir didn’t respond, Madoka went to look at the handbook. With a start, he realized he recognized the face alight on its screen.

Eriko’s handbook.

---

Mercy stared.

After all this time, it was...

She clenched her fists. Wordlessly, she crouched down, picking up the handbook and tucking it under her arm. She closed her eyes--so it was Monokuma who had taken Eriko's handbook. No, not even: the person controlling Monokuma. But why would he bother?

Mercy exhaled slowly. She would need to explain its potential importance to the rest of the students.

"Before Eriko died, she gave me her handbook. She told me that, in the event something happened, she wanted me to look through her room. She also made a point of telling me not to tell anyone I had it. Later on, when I woke up from being hit over the head with a barstool, it was missing. I'd assumed either Clair or Braeden took it, but..." Mercy got to her feet, chuckling. "...I guess I was wrong."

Graham hesitated. "You... do you think she left behind important things in her room?"

"If Monokuma thought her handbook important enough to take, then most likely, yes," Mercy replied. "And even if you guys don't deem her room important enough to investigate, I... I'll be looking through it myself, either way. But for now, we should focus on finding all there is to find in this room. Agreed?"

Graham nodded slowly. "Y-yeah. Agreed."

Mercy nodded, poker face as perfect as ever. Even in that moment, there was very little stopping her from leaving the investigation of the security office to the others and going into Eriko's room alone. Part of her felt like it was her right--whatever the girl left in her room was for Mercy to see only, after all.

But they were a team now, and that meant going through everything together. Then again, she...

Mercy bit her lip. "Feel free to shoot me down on account of this being a ridiculous request, but would you mind if I left the rest of you to look through the security office while I got a headstart on Eriko's room? It's nothing do with secrets or--ah. No, nevermind, it's... let's just continue here. Apologies."

Madoka watched Mercy’s face for a moment before turning to survey the rest of the room. Clair made a complete round, checking under tables and behind monitors.

“It doesn’t look like…” Clair froze, taking a deep breath. “Mercy, let’s head over there to...together. O-oh dear Lord, is this place spinning or is that just...do you think Eriko really did know, or was Monokuma lying? Maybe he was just…”

Madoka bit his lip, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder. “Clair, it’ll be alright. Whatever it is, it’ll be alright.”

Clair leaned against the desk, holding a hand to her mouth. “I-I feel sick. No, it...a-are these hooked up to anything? Can everyone see us in here? O-oh God, has he already found me?”

“No one has found you!” Madoka insisted. “Here, I’ll check for you, okay?”

Clair nodded, her face drained of color. Patting Faussin on the shoulder, Madoka moved to examine the monitors. After a moment of searching, he came to the conclusion that the only person watching them in this place was Monokuma...or his handler.

“There aren’t enough cables or antennas or things...these are just hooked up to the cameras, nowhere else.”

Clair let out a sigh of relief, turning back to face the others. “Right. R-right...everything is going to be fine. Listen, all of you...I-I trust you, but I need you to...promise you won’t tell anyone, okay? I can explain a bit more later...please, please promise you’ll never tell anybody and then I think I’ll calm down.”

Madoka was now entirely convinced Clair was secretly from a family of cannibals.

“I promise.” Even so, it wouldn’t do to freak her out. Madoka needed Clair to trust him if he was ever going to get her to love him.

Faqir actually seemed to grasp the delicacy of the situation. He offered Clair a smile. “Don’t worry, your secrets aren’t going anywhere but here. None of ours are.”

Clair nodded, her eyes sweeping over the others.

---

Faussin, who ended up leaning against the desk for support after Madoka broke away, gave Clair a thumbs up. He spoke clearly for the first time that morning: "P-promise. I'll never tell a-anyone."

Mercy offered a supportive smile. "Your secret's safe with me, don't worry."

Frankly, even if Mercy did want to tell someone, there was no one to tell. She only associated with two people--her father's old friend and that one creepy neighbor of hers, and even then, they were just as isolated as she was.

Graham smiled at Clair as well. "I'm like a vault! Nothing gets outta me."

"God knows you never let that jewelry out of sight," Mercy remarked, smirking. She held Eriko's handbook to her side, its presence somehow comforting. The girl had made Mercy both more confident and terribly insecure at the same time--in all honesty, it was hard to explain. She was so many things that...

...Mercy closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Now the worst time to reflect on this. Their top priority was the investigation, so that's where she needed to keep her focus.

"Is there anything else in here we should look at, or are we alright to move on?" Mercy asked, looking around. Surely if Madoka or Clair had spotted anything else, they would have pointed it out.

Graham shrugged. "I dunno. I would look around and stuff, but my hands are full carrying my beloved bride. We're just about to embark on our honeymoon, you see."

Mercy snorted. "Shall I fetch you lovebirds some flowers when we pass by the garden?"

"Oh, Mercy. Always so thoughtful!" Graham gushed.

Faqir snorted. “Graham, how about if we make it out of this alive, I will f*cking marry you. I’m serious.”

Clair giggled. If nothing else, hearing her chuckle was nice.

“Nothing else,” Madoka assured, returning to Faussin’s side to support him again. “Shall we move on to Eriko’s room?”

Leaving the security offices behind, the group migrated to Eriko’s room, where Mercy swiped the handbook to let them in. Faqir urged Graham to put him down near the bed where he could rest, freeing the thief to use his hands to search the room like the others. Madoka took a deep breath--this was it.

Eriko’s room could be described as “organized chaos”. She seemed to have charts, papers, and materials cluttering every inch, but at least they all seemed to be separated into sections based on who each section discussed.

As they moved about Eriko’s room, Clair remained near the door, murmuring to herself. Madoka felt his heart pounding in his chest--if Clair’s secret was this bad, did he even want to know what it was?

When he stumbled on the section of things Eriko had marked with Clair’s name, he found he really didn’t.

Madoka crossed the room to Faqir and reached out to help him stand, supporting him across the room to Clair’s section. “These are Clair’s. You read them.”

“Good luck charm…” Clair cracked a small smile. “Ah, geez...you’re gonna hate me.”

“That’s nonsense,” Madoka insisted, walking over to Clair and taking both of her hands in his. She met his eyes, something odd reflected in the irises. “No matter what this secret of yours is...no matter what your identity may truly be, I could never hate you. Because I...I love you, and when you love someone you don’t just give that up for a little secret. Clair, I don’t care who you are. I don’t care what you are, or what you’ve done, or where you’ve been, because...because you’ll always be my Clair. You’ll always be the brave, strong, intelligent, funny, beautiful girl I met here in this dump. You’ll always be my best friend.”

The longer he went on, the more Clair avoided looking into his eyes, and the more determined Madoka was that he would never stop loving her. He squeezed her hands.

“So...so you don’t have to be afraid! There’s nothing to be scared of, because I promised to always be with you and...and I adore you. I adore you and nothing will make me stop. Clair, it’s okay, because no matter what I’ll always--”

“Says here that Clair is actually a boy.”

Madoka instantly went totally silent. Clair averted her eyes, biting her lip.

Did he just say…

Am I being pranked?

“...I’m sorry but what.”

Clair was silent.

“Yeah, uh…” Faqir glanced over at Clair. “Is this true? You...you’re actually a dude? That’s the big secret? Because this is actually a little anticlimactic.”

What.

Any words Madoka tried to say were lost. He made a series of noises that were still bravely attempting to form words.

Clair scratched the back of her neck. When she finally spoke again, it was in the odd, off-pitch tone she had frequently dipped into during and just after her trial. Hearing it again now, Madoka realized why it had always sounded so odd:

It was the voice of a boy.

“Well...yeah, it’s, uh...it’s true.” Clair chuckled nervously, scratching at her--his?--cheek. “...H-haha. Uh, I know...yeah. Um.”

Faqir hopped over to her--him?--on his good leg. “But you have boobs. Like...huge, beautiful boobs.”

Clair pursed her--his--lips, crossing her--his!--arms. “My eyes are up here, thanks.”

Faqir promptly reached over and grabbed one side of Clair’s chest. Madoka shrieked.

“FAQIR YOU CAN’T--LET GO OF HER!”

Clair sighed. “You should really take me out to dinner first.”

Faqir gave an experimental squeeze. “Feels real.”

“I mean, yeah. I had to pay an awful lot to get these custom made so well, but I couldn’t just wimp out and go for bird seed in a stocking.”

Madoka’s brain completely shut down. He resorted to spluttering.

“So, is the a*s fake too or is the lower half all real?”

Clair shifted uncomfortably. “A-all real. ...Will you please let go?”

Faqir’s expression became incredibly serious. “Yep, sexy. I’d still tap that.”

Clair blushed.

“We’ll never know if this is true or not unless we can see the proof,” Faqir decided. “Yep. For the sake of proving to Madoka he really is totally gay now, drop your shorts.”

Clair bristled, pressing back against the wall. “N-no way! I’m not getting naked in front of you people! I don’t even like getting naked when I’m alone!”

“Ah, come on. If you’re actually a girl there’s no reason to worry, right?”

“If I’m a girl there’s even more reason to worry, pervert!” Clair ducked towards the door, huffing. “G-give me a few minutes and I can prove it myself. I-I’m going to the boutique, don’t follow me.”

Madoka decided this was all some kind of hallucination or nightmare. Clair slunk out the door, calling out to the others to continue without her--no, him...him?!

Madoka crouched down and buried his face in his hands.

This is definitely a dream. This is a dream. God in heaven, please let this be a dream.

There’s no way Clair is…

Clair is a boy?!

---

Mercy snorted, trying to stifle her laughter.

Graham stared in shock. "No way! Clair is... she's... she's been one of the dudes this entire time?! Should I even be saying she? I mean he! Oh my gosh, he's a dude! Who would've guessed?!"

Faussin sat against the wall, oddly unaffected. He watched the others in what looked like confusion. "I... d-does Clair being a guy really make a difference? Is Madoka okay?"

"Madoka! Bro!" Graham fled to the (un)lucky student's side. "It's alright, bro. You're probably in the middle of reconsidering your sexuality right now, which is understandable, but I just want you to know that we're here! And I mean, hey. There's nothing wrong with liking guys, right?"

Mercy was laughing hysterically now.

Graham shushed her. "So insensitive!"

She snorted. "Oh, come on, this is hilarious!"

"Don't listen to her, Madoka!" Graham cried. "Your feelings aren't a joke. They're important, just like everyone else's!"

Mercy continued to laugh, though she turned her attention over to Faqir. Tapping his shoulder to make sure she had his attention, she slapped him across the face.

Faussin flinched. "Wh-why did you do that?"

"Because guy or not, you don't go up and squeeze someone's boobs! Or try and make them take their pants down!"

Faqir stumbled, flopped around a bit, and toppled onto the floor. He held up a thumbs up. “Worth it!”

Madoka curled into the fetal position. This isn’t...because I...why does she have to be a guy?!

He sniffled, reaching out a pathetic hand to grab Graham’s sleeve. “Everything is a lie.”

Stop being melodramatic! It’s fine! It’s not like--why?

He sniffled. “Anything else...i-it could have been anything else and...d-does this make me gay now?! B-but I fell in love with her as a girl so I’m still straight, right? I’m so confused!”

In the middle of an investigation to free themselves from the hellhole they’d been trapped in probably wasn’t the best time to have a crisis over sexuality, but Madoka didn’t care at the moment.

It’s all just a dream. I-I just heard her wrong! She’s going to come back down and explain that it was a prank and the real secret is that she belongs to a family of cannibals. Everything’s fine.

At least ten minutes had passed when someone knocked on the door. Madoka sniffled and went to open it.

In the doorway stood an oddly familiar-looking boy. In place of Madoka’s sweater or Clair’s bright red jacket, he wore an ordinary long-sleeved shirt. In place of jean shorts, he wore a pair of long pants. The extensions that constituted Clair’s hair had been removed, leaving the boy’s curly brown locks only to about his neck. All of Clair’s makeup had been completely removed, but somehow, the boy’s features were still remarkably feminine. Most noticeably, where once had sat Clair’s rather ample bosom was a perfectly flat chest.

“She” was still recognizable, though--if not only by the single emerald earring hanging in one ear.

The boy cleared his throat. “I-I haven’t dressed like this in public for over a year. Ah, geez...w-well, um, it’s nice to meet you all.”

Clair? ...Clair?!

Madoka sniffled, going pale. “Y-you’re actually--I-I was hoping--w-wait a second, I kissed you on the mouth!”

“Clair” scratched his neck. “I mean, yeah. If you had asked me first I would have told you it was a terrible idea, but it’s not like my opinion matters to you people anyways, right? I tried to tell you it’d be worse for you than for me, I’m almost used to guys kissing me against my will by now. Tends to happen when you spend most of your time dressed as a woman.”

Madoka groaned, dropping to his knees again. “O-oh gosh, I-I actually kissed you...r-right on the lips…a-and that was my first kiss!”

“Clair” blushed, scratching his cheek. “Next time maybe you won’t sneak attack a lady when you want a kiss. I-I have a lot of explaining to do, huh?”

Faqir, who had managed to claw himself onto Eriko’s bed, shrugged. “I dunno, I’m content with just thinking you’re really kinky like that.”

“Clair” glared at him. “Not even remotely. It’s a long story...but I guess Monokuma’s going to have you all figure it out eventually. Ah, geez, I haven’t used this name in forever...well, here goes. To start…”

Madoka squeaked. Once again, he had completely lost the capacity to form words.

This is real. This is real. Holy crap, this is real.

“...To start, my real name is Levi. Nice to meet you.”

---

Mercy chuckled at Madoka, crossing her arms. Boys were so stupid.

Speaking of...

"Levi," Mercy greeted. Having known Clair all of this time, the name felt... weird. "Nice to meet you too."

If 'Levi' was here, then that really did mean 'Clair' was gone, didn't it? Mercy thought for a moment. Though they were technically the same person, were they really? She--he?--whatever seemed to define them as two different people entirely, or at least from what Mercy could gather.

'Nice to meet you.'

As if he or she was, really, an entirely different person.

Would this mean that they'd never see 'Clair' again? Or was Mercy just overthinking all of this and the only difference all along was that he was wearing fake boobs?

Mercy paused, suddenly horrified.

Oh my god. I'm the only girl left.

Graham waved to Levi, smiling. "Honestly, I was expecting a whole lot worse. Now that you're a guy though, I'm totally making you help steal things with me. I mean, not that I wouldn't if you were a girl, it's just different now because it's like--I don't know. It's like there's less consequence for being stupid now!"

Faussin leaned against the wall, forcing a smile for Levi. He seemed oddly tense all of the sudden.

"Woah, Mercy, are you okay?" Graham asked suddenly. Her horror must have shown on her face.

Mercy coughed, attempting to assume her usual poker face. "Fine. Yup. Hold on, I think I just need a moment to myself. I'm gonna go get some food from the cafeteria, I'll be back in a few minutes. Levi, don't worry, it's nothing to do with you--it's all me. I swear it's just me. Or all of you. Be right back."

Too much stupid. Too much testosterone. Oh god. Why am I destined to be surrounded by lust-driven weirdos?

At least Madoka wasn’t the only one who was reeling a bit from this...though he did realize things were probably more strange for Mercy, who was now officially the only surviving girl.

Clair--no, Levi?--seemed to pick up on that too. “I-if it helps, all my old friends used to tease me for being more of a girl than the two girls in our crew, h-haha. I guess that tends to happen when you have a biological testosterone deficiency. A-anyway, if you all still want to call me Clair, that’s okay too! I’m used to responding to that so…”

At least the guy Madoka had totally fallen head-over-heels for admitted to being particularly effeminate.

Somehow it only made his crisis worse.

“O-oh gosh, th-this actually happened…”

Clair--Levi, this is Levi!--chuckled, clearly nervous. “Mm...if it helps even more, I’m also basically asexual. I-I say ‘basically’ because...it’s complicated, but...well, I guess it relates to the story. It’s...you’re probably all wondering why something that seems so trivial would be such a severe secret to me I would actually kill to keep it safe. You probably all hate me right now, because to all the world it seems like I only cared about protecting the fact that I have a penis.”

Madoka groaned, sniffling. Hearing him say it only makes things worse. O-oh gosh.

Levi--oh gosh, this is actually real--took a deep breath, expression somewhere between sad and terrified. “Yeah...it’s a pretty long story. I’ll bet Eriko figured out a good part of it. Well...Mercy, if you want to get food and come back, I...I’ll explain everything when you return. For now, I’ll just confirm what a lot of you probably already thought: it relates to domestic abuse.”

Abuse? Madoka wasn’t exactly surprised--Clair had always been a bit off in the way she reacted to assault and how she viewed herself--but hearing Levi say it outright somehow shocked him.

Madoka suddenly remembered all the times Clair had talked about her “identity” and how important it was that no one ever found her.

Was this what she meant? Is someone looking for Levi?

---

Mercy adjusted her jacket, exhaling slowly. This is such a stupid thing to freak out over. Get ahold of yourself.

"I won't be any longer than a few minutes. Sorry, just really hungry all of the sudden." Mercy nodded brief goodbye to everyone and stepped past Levi and out into the hallway. Vaguely aware that she was still holding Eriko's handbook, she slipped it and her hands into her pockets, huffing.

Why was she so creeped out by this?

She'd never had a problem with guys before. If anything, guys were usually more comfortable with her than girls were--admittedly, though, always for the wrong reasons. Suffice to say, most guys with the gall to approach her usually ended up getting slapped.

Hold on, did Mercy know any girls?

Eriko was the first female friend she'd ever had. Wow. The hunter didn't even know what to think of that. Furthermore, being alone in the hallway had somehow relieved all of the tension she felt, which only confirmed the cause being the abundance of testosterone. She almost dreaded going back.

"Oh my god, I don't even have a mom."

Mercy rubbed her forehead, pushing open the door to the cafeteria. All she actually wanted was a drink of water and to be alone for a few minutes. She just needed to clear her head, then she'd be fine.

"It's fine," she told herself. "It's fine. They're fine. What are you even worried about?"

Surrounded by five guys in her dead friend's bedroom. Of course, nothing to worry about, right?

She scoffed, heading into the kitchen and fetching a glass and filling it with water from the sink. She gulped it down and then, taking a deep breath, refilled it and took one more swing. It was refreshing.

Everything is fine. You trust these people, remember?

Mercy set the glass to the side. Of course. She trusted everyone--well, mostly everyone--here, so there was really no reason to worry. The fact that those thoughts had gotten into her head at all was ridiculous.

Everything's fine.

Mercy took a deep breath, confident in this. She slid her hands back into her pockets and started back down the hallway, trying to walk quickly so she wouldn't have to keep them waiting any longer than she already had. Unlocking the door, she stepped back in and took a place leaning against one of the walls.

You're surrounded by friends, so there's no need to worry. Mercy crossed her ankles, glancing over at Levi. "Sorry about that. You can start now if you want."

Madoka almost didn’t want Mercy to come back. Mercy coming back meant Levi would explain everything, and hearing everything explained would make it real.

Levi waved to her, shuffling. “I-I’m warning you, it’s a pretty long story. But...I really think you all need to hear it. If we’re going to discover how messed up we all are, you should know just how much of a mess I really am.”

He paused for a moment. Madoka shifted, moving to watch him more easily.

Finally, Levi wandered towards Eriko’s bed, taking a seat next to Faqir. Faqir patted his thigh. Levi swatted at him, scowling.

“Well…” Levi crossed his legs, then uncrossed them and folded his ankles. “Alright, let’s start with the beginning. My mother was living on the streets when she became pregnant with me. As you can guess, she didn’t make it very long and I was born with quite a few, er...abnormalities, I guess. For one, I’m tiny. For another, I’m colorblind and have horrible eyesight. For a third, that testosterone deficiency I mentioned earlier. For a fourth, a propensity for mental illness. Thankfully for me--ah, well, I guess it’s kind of unfortunate--my mom was taken to a hospital by a passing civilian who noticed her struggling. She died there. I was taken to an orphanage when they failed to locate my father.”

For a moment, Levi was quiet. The way his eyes lost focus on reality was familiar to Madoka now--he realized right then that Clair and Levi weren’t too different.

“The DeWitts.” Levi paused. “...They were a rich family living in the area with one son. That son was named Lucifer. He...he was a good nine or ten years older than me. His parents were always out of town and Lucifer didn’t have many friends his age, so he convinced his parents to adopt so he would be less lonely. I know that’s why...I know he was only lonely, h-he didn’t…”

Faqir placed a hand on Levi’s shoulder. Levi’s eyes flickered to Faqir and he offered the jeweler a sad smile.

“...I guess Lucifer pitied me. I was the kid he wanted as a little brother, so the DeWitts got the papers squared away and ended up adopting me. I never saw them--it was just Lucifer and I around most of the time. At first, everything was...everything was perfect.”

Madoka bit his lip. Levi…

Levi bit at his lip, drawing blood. He lapped it up before continuing. “...Ha. A good thing happening to me can never last. I...learned that fairly quickly. ...There was a new kid in our neighborhood. It had begun to fill up--most of my neighbors were cool. I became best friends with four of them. They...they were my dearest companions. I adore them. Ah, but we’ll get back to them...anyway, this new neighbor was Lucifer’s age and followed a darker path. He started inviting Lucifer to hang out more and leave me at home. Before I knew it, Lucifer...changed. In the worst possible way, he completely changed.”

Madoka moved a bit closer. Levi noticed and smiled slightly, though it quickly faded.

“...I remember the first time Lucifer hit me,” Levi mused. “I was still pretty young. He told me to draw a bath for him. I liked doing things around the house--it gave me something to do--so I obeyed without question. But I guess the temperature was a bit off, so...I tried to apologize and explain, but Lucifer slapped me and told me to stop talking back. From there, I learned...I learned quickly that it was best to just do anything Lucifer said without saying a word.”

Faqir gripped Levi’s shoulder. The boy winced, shifting on the bed.

“...From then on, my life was a whirlwind straight down to hell. Lucifer kept spending more time with that new kid in town. He would throw these elaborate parties, get dead drunk, and make me clean up after him and keep guests from breaking anything. If anything went wrong, Lucifer blamed me. At first I could handle it, I...I-I didn’t mind too much. I knew he was just confused. M-maybe he would end up fine. He would come back to me, h-he would stop acting cruel and…”

By that point, Levi was trembling, his gaze fixed on a point outside of the present moment. Faqir rubbed his back. Madoka scooted close enough to touch Levi’s foot with a hand.

Is this why...Clair?

“...He never did.” Levi chuckled mirthlessly. “And as if that wasn’t bad enough...on the right of our house was where my dearest friend lived. On the left was...Petri.”

Even without knowing who “Petri” was, the name felt sour to Madoka. Maybe it was from the bitterness that drenched the name as Levi spoke it, or the way the boy’s entire body tensed.

“We were friends, at first,” Levi said, his fingers twitching. “Petri was...a bit behind the curve, but he was one of the sweetest people I’d ever met. A little too touchy, but sweet. I used to go next door when things got really bad and my best friend wasn’t home and I would tell Petri about everything going on at home. He would listen and try to make me understand how awful Lucifer was and how desperately I needed to escape. He…”

Madoka noticed the tears dripping from Levi’s eyes. He scooted away from Faqir and Madoka, pulling his body from their touch.

“He...he made me feel...vulnerable. Safe. Relaxed. I...I let my guard down. I-I shouldn’t have--I should have known, from the way he always spoke to me and the way he used to grab my arm all the time. I-I guess I just...didn’t even think about the possibility until it was too late. Until he…”

Madoka’s mind flashed back to when Clair had rejected his first confession.

“I hate men.”

Is this what she meant? Was she…

It felt like hours before Levi finally continued, though in reality it was probably only minutes.

“...Until he took advantage of me.” There was a lowness and bitterness to Levi’s voice that surprised Madoka--even his normal tone was still rather high, but in that moment he sounded almost like a completely different person. “...I...choose not to go into details because it’s painful. I assume you all are smart enough to fill in the blanks.”

“All they’ve ever done is hurt me.”

“Physically, emotionally…”

“Sexually.”

Madoka wiped away a stray tear, beginning to understand Clair’s behaviors.

“I’ve had things stolen from me that I can never get back.”

“Lucifer didn’t believe me.” Levi smiled a twisted smile, fidgeting.

Madoka fiddled with his apatite bracelet for the first time in a while--he could use the help relieving secondhand grief.

“I really did try. I-I really did try to explain that something terrible had happened to me and I needed him to do something, but...he didn’t believe me. He just assumed I was lying to get his attention. And so nothing was done to stop Petri from coming back, and nothing was done to stop him from coming after me, and I...learned to be too afraid to fight back when he started to hit me too. Maybe he just saw Lucifer do it and figured it worked.”

Faqir chuckled, shaking his head. “Dude, your life’s a f*cking soap opera.”

Levi laughed hoarsely, pausing to swallow. “Yeah, it was...it’s ridiculous.” A moment of hesitation passed; then, Levi straightened up slightly. “I...I eventually reached a point where I knew I had to get away from there. Lucifer’s attacks were getting more frequent and brutal every day. There were times I genuinely thought I would die. I would go to the hospital and have to come up with some excuse for why my fingers were broken, my eye was black, and I was covered head to toe in deep slices and bruises. It was...it was unbearable.”

True hell. So this is what she meant…

Once again, Madoka moved to touch Levi’s foot. Levi recoiled.

“P-please don’t touch me,” he said hurriedly. “I-it makes it worse. I’ve had terrible experiences with being touched.”

“A-ah, I-I’m sorry…” Madoka shifted, honestly unsure of what to say.

Thankfully, it seemed Faqir wasn’t. “So let me guess: that’s when Clair happened.”

Levi smirked. “Bingo. It was my best friend who gave me the idea, actually...ah, right, I never introduced them. Well, my next door neighbor was Amadeus Lusitania. We all called him Deus. He was a pervert with zero respect for women who liked to make fun of me for being feminine.”

“Sounds like a great friend.”

“Haha.” Levi’s gaze took on a new warmth, his posture relaxing. “Yeah...he was an idiot. But he was...kind. Warm. Loving. Whenever I was scared, I would flee to him and he would just hold me and let me cry on him. He used to say I was like a little brother to him. I guess he was always more of a big brother to me than Lucifer. ...I told him one night that I wanted to run away. He called the others together and we got planning.”

“Planning?”

“Well, yeah. I couldn’t just leave. Lucifer would find me and make me go back if I just left. I needed to find some way to make ‘Levi DeWitt’ disappear, a way to wipe his very existence off the map. I needed to kill him.”

“Hence Clair,” Faqir cut in. Levi nodded at him.

“Like I said, Amadeus was the one who suggested disguising myself as a woman, but it was my friend Malik who suggested a complete identity change in the first place. Malik was...well, he had a bit of a connection to the criminal underbelly of the area. He was rich himself--probably not all through honest gain--so he offered to pay for a place for me until I got settled in. He said he had a guy who could get me a fake ID and essentially create a whole new citizen persona for me to take. It would take time, but with the right connections it could be done.” By now, Levi seemed to be fired up. He sat up straighter, moving to actually look the others in the eye for the first time since the story had started. “I chose Clair from the word ‘clairvoyant’--I was always interested in the idea of psychics. LaBelle was the surname of the head of the orphanage I’d stayed at. My friend Beatrix leant me my first bra until I could feel comfortable shopping for women’s lingerie. She was so excited about the whole thing...Bea helped me shop for Clair’s first closet full of clothes and pick out some extensions. And as for my talent...I have Belinda to thank for that. She taught me how to use makeup effectively to accentuate my feminine features and minimize the masculine. In about a month, everything was sufficiently set up.”

This is real. Hearing the story of Clair’s origins told reinforced the fact that Clair and Levi really were one and the same. Madoka took a deep breath, trying not to think about how much he already missed Clair.

Levi suddenly faded out once more, his carefree expression growing more strained. “...I...said goodbye to those friends and left in full Clair get-up in the middle of the night,” he said softly. “I haven’t seen any of them or heard from them ever since...I miss them so much. When things got rough with Lucifer and Petri, I had Amadeus to hug me, Beatrix to cheer me up, Malik to give me courage, and Belinda to listen to me rant. I had...I had a home. I had a home with beloved friends, and...and when I fled from Lucifer, I had to leave them all behind forever. Calling and writing was too risky. Lucifer could figure me out and track me down. Any tiny clue could be disastrous…if I wanted to be safe from him, I would have to completely embrace my role as Clair. I would have to become an entirely different person and hide every minute detail of my past from absolutely everyone. Thankfully, Clair turned out to be…safe. She became a defense mechanism, a place to hide when things were rough, a method of control and a way to finally be the one manipulating others instead of the one constantly being manipulated.”

The very mention of manipulation brought Madoka back to Clair’s trial. He shuddered, hugging his arms.

“Clair was like a drug to me.” Levi shifted. “I became addicted to how much people drooled over her, how much people stumbled over themselves trying to get to her. I became addicted to how easy it was to manipulate men just by using a bit of cleavage and a flirtatious tone. I learned how to keep the inserts I’d gotten to serve as Clair’s chest from slipping, how to utilize words to direct things the way I wanted, and, most importantly, how to fake sexual arousal. That part came in lots of handy for when I needed to get Braeden to listen to me.”

“I was just thinking about that, actually!” Faqir adjusted his position to face Levi a bit more. “So like, that whole deal. It was all just faked? Those are some high-quality fake boobs, I can see how he’d be fooled.”

Levi squirmed, embarrassed. “Well, I mean...I-I had to figure it out somehow if I wanted to live as a woman the rest of my life. Ah, I got pretty good at directing hands away from my crotch, though. The rest of me I was willing to shell out for a bit of control for once, but that’s...a bad idea. For multiple reasons. ...Wow, I sound like a whore. I basically am a whore.”

“How much would I have to pay you to get you to put those boobs back on and let me get the full package?”

“There is no amount of money that would get me to do that and that is not what I meant.”

Madoka found himself still oddly defensive of Levi. “Don’t be a pervert, I’m sure Levi has had enough of that. A-and you’re not a whore.”

Levi offered him a sincere smile--for just a moment, Madoka swore he saw Clair in Levi’s face. “You’re sweet, good luck charm. Thank you.”

Madoka shuddered, hating the way his heartbeat picked up. W-why is it that nickname still makes my heart race? H-he’s clearly a boy!

“Well…” Levi uncrossed his ankles, resting a foot across his leg. “I guess that’s about all. I became so invested in Clair that she became…me. Clair is a part of who I am now. I can’t just...get rid of her, not when she’s been my identity for so long. She got me interested in makeup, which I guess got me picked up by Hope’s Peak. It gave me a steady job while living by myself, at least. And...that’s it, I guess. Do you see it now, at least a little? If Eriko had told everyone--if Monokuma had shared that this is who I really am--then you would have known, and then you could have told people, and then Lucifer could track me down. L-Lucifer...he could still find me. I’m not safe yet, I’ll never be safe, e-even now I’m not...I’m just waiting for him to take me back and remind me of how worthless I am. How utterly pointless my existence is. How much of a dumb whore I am. I’m just waiting for him to remind me that I’m still his b*tch…”

A tear plinked onto Levi’s hand. He sighed heavily, burying his face in his hands.

“I just didn’t want to go back,” Levi whispered. “I...I’m terrified of having to go back, t-terrified of what Lucifer will do to me if he finds me, a-and every detail of who Clair really is is a detail he could use to find me. I gave up everything to become Clair. And now, without her, I...I’m nothing.”

Madoka was silent, staring at his hands. With everything out on the table, every one of Clair’s actions made perfect sense--well, all except for her borderline masochistic pleasure in the thought of her own death, but Madoka figured that would be figured out eventually--but somehow, Madoka felt like it only made everything worse.

The way Levi spoke of Clair made it obvious he thought of her as completely separate from Levi, but there was a clear overlap in the two--Clair talking about how she didn’t even know herself made more sense now.

But what could Madoka even say? Levi had suffered through things Madoka couldn’t even imagine and had resorted to self-hatred and self-harm just to cope. He had crafted a completely new person just to try and protect himself. Being willing to kill to protect Clair made sense...but it was obvious it still tore Levi apart.

The makeup artist scratched at his hands, then moved his nails to his face to dig idly at his cheeks, drawing lines of blood in his skin. Faqir reached out and yanked Levi’s hands away from his face.

“Stop,” Faqir muttered, seeming distracted. “No more hurting yourself on purpose. You’re not nothing. You’re our friend, and that makes you way more than nothing. Sure, okay, you did something frankly unforgivable, but...I think I would have done the same thing in your situation given how easily I started resorting to strangling people and bashing skulls in near the end of this, ha. You were desperate.”

“I’m so sorry,” Levi murmured, sniffling. “I...I-I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted anyone to die. I never wanted you to find out what an evil, despicable liar I really am. I never wanted you to uncover all my ugly sins. I never wanted to lose my mind in here, I-I never wanted Clair to leave, I-I...I just wanted to be safe. I just wanted to be home.”

Faqir pulled Levi into a hug, resting his chin on the boy’s head. “Hey, stop that. You are safe. We all are. And home...home is where the heart is, right? Well, your heart is being held captive by us now, just like mine is. So...so this is home. This is home, and it’s going with you when we get out of here. So it’s fine, right?”

“F-Faqir…” Levi sniffled, moving his arms to embrace the jeweler. “A-ahaha. When did you become so sweet?”

Not wanting to be outdone (and feeling oddly jealous--Madoka cursed himself for still seeing Clair in Levi’s vulnerable position), Madoka moved to sit on Levi’s other side and leaned in to embrace him.

“Faqir is right. We’re not going to leave you like this. A-and besides, I already promised to move in with you when we got out of here. I’m not taking that back.”

Levi sniffled. There was a hint of amusement in his voice when he spoke again--but worse, he spoke in Clair’s familiar lilting tone. “You sure about that, good luck charm? It’s not quite as sexy anymore.”

Madoka blushed, spluttering. “W-well, I-I never planned to sleep with you in the first place, s-so…”

Levi giggled, moving one hand to lay it gently over Madoka’s. “...I love you guys. You really do remind me of my best friends...God, I miss them so much.” He scooted a bit closer to Faqir, seeming content. “But...I guess this isn’t so bad.”

For the first time since Levi’s introduction, Madoka felt that he was right--it wasn’t so bad.

...But even so...w-why?

---

Mercy had no clue what to say. "Levi, I..."

She wandered toward the bed, taking a seat by the edge. Her usually hard eyes softened--to think, what he'd gone through. The only thing she could think to do was show him that she was there. "Faqir's right. We're here for you, and we're always gonna be. There's no way we're ever not going to be there for each other after having gotten through this with each other, right?"

Graham, who seemed slightly more somber than usual, made a heart for Levi with his hands. "Right! If anything happens, I'll steal you away before it gets any worse. You guys are my friends, which means I'm never going to let anything bad happen to you guys. Ever!"

"I, um..." Faussin shifted. "Th-things are gonna be okay."

Mercy smiled supportively. "See? Everyone's here for you. We're not going to tell anybody, and we're gonna let anything happen to you."

Suddenly, she felt bad about tying the poor guy to a mattress.

...But on the other hand, he did try to strangle someone and killed two people, one of those people being the first actual friend Mercy ever had, among many other things. She felt less bad now.

It's not his fault, Mercy reminded herself, crossing her legs. It's Monokuma's. Speaking of...

"Do you need a few minutes, or should we continue looking through everything?" Mercy asked, softly. There were still papers scattered about the room to read, after all--and by the way Monokuma was acting, most of the students had things to hide.

Levi sighed, wriggling out of the hug. “I-I’ll...be alright, I think. Thank you, all of you…”

He paused, glancing over at the clutter of Eriko’s room. After a moment, he stood, kneeling near one of the papers.

“...Eriko,” he began softly, “can you hear me? I...want you to know that I...I regret killing you every day. I’m so sorry I made you suffer just because I was selfish. Maybe now...maybe now you can understand a bit why I did it. ...I can never change what happened and I know...I know you must hate me. I hate me too.”

Madoka placed a hand on his shoulder. Levi didn’t even seem to notice.

“But, well...you went to the trouble of leaving us all these puzzle pieces so we could escape.” Levi brought one of the papers to his chest, cradling it. “So...maybe if I help everyone solve it, you can learn to forgive me. ...Rest in peace, please. If you can find peace...if you can rest knowing that at least you didn’t have to watch all of us break over and over, then maybe...maybe I can learn to forgive myself. I’m sorry, Eriko. ...I-I’m so sorry.”

Faqir hummed. “I bet she heard that,” he murmured, tone unusually contemplative. “...Hey, Queenie. Sorry I made things worse. I was weak-willed and because of me, you…”

Faqir paused. Madoka reached out his other hand to touch his arm.

“...But hey, Queenie. Your court jester’s trying to make it up now, okay? I won’t be weak-willed again. We’ll make that bear pay.”

Somehow, hearing the others speak to Eriko made Madoka want to do it too. He had been instrumental in setting her up for disaster, after all--maybe they all needed to talk to her just to explain everything they always wanted to say.

“I’m sorry I was selfish,” Madoka said quietly. “I...I never should have left you. I was so caught up in myself...Eriko, I failed you. I’m so sorry I let you get hurt. But we’re going to escape--we’re going to get out of here together, we’re never going to let that bear beat us again, and it’s because of you we’re able to do that. ...I’m glad I met you too, Eriko. Thank you.”

Levi smiled slightly before pulling the paper away from his chest. He began to look over it.

The room felt lighter--perhaps closure was just what everyone needed.

---

Hate…?

Mercy closed her eyes. There was no way Eriko could hate anyone there--she was far too sweet of a girl to hold anything against them.

The girl couldn’t even bring herself to hate Xhevona.

Mercy took a deep breath, crouching down onto the floor and beginning to look through the papers Eriko had left behind. Her mind wandered, though--she couldn't help but think back to before Eriko died. She knew she was walking into danger, and the only reason she didn't let Mercy drag her away was because the girl was putting herself above everyone else.

Mercy was sure of it--there was a point in time before the attack that Eriko knew she was going to die, and she was at peace with it.

“Mercy…” Graham trailed off, staring down at a paper that was in much better condition compared to the rest. He hesitated, offering it to her. “I-I think this was meant for you. Here.”

Mercy’s breath caught. Brushing a strand of hair out of her face, she reached out and took the paper from Graham, straightening it out.

Dear Mercy,

If you’re reading this, then I am no longer with you…

Mercy bit her lip. She didn't want to read this. Because if she read it, she'd remember her more, and…

No. She had to. Eriko had wanted her to, after all.

...then I am no longer with you. And that's okay, because I don't mind. But I know you will, and I want to be able to say goodbye, so I'm leaving this here for you to find.

I probably didn't tell you what was happening and why I was in danger, and I stick by that choice. If people here are as protective of their secrets as it seems they are, then you knowing will put you in danger as well. I don't doubt you can defend yourself, but I don't think I could ever live with myself if something happened to you. That being said--in this room, I've left every piece of information I've gathered on every student, as well as what I've been able to speculate about the person keeping us here.

With all of this information, you will have a much easier time with all of the trials. You will know who to trust, almost all possible motives, prevention methods, and potential risk factors. On that note, please keep an eye on Clair and Faussin.

But that's enough about that. I should write about something happier. I don't want this entire letter to be depressing, especially if it's the last you're going to hear from me. (On that note, I have drawn several hearts on and left many inspiring quotes within these notes just so they're a bit less of a downer. You aren't very receptive to those, I can tell, but coming from me I'll bet you'll smile at least the slightest bit!

Mercy smirked, continuing to read.

Ahaha. You probably hate the fact that you're smiling, too. This is a good segue into what I really want to talk about in this. (Aside from the information I left you, that is.)

As you now know, after Vona’s trial finished, I devoted myself to taking extensive notes on every single student here so that I could have a better time predicting and preventing any potential deaths.

By extension, I took notes on you, Miss Crocker.

When I look at you, I see a woman who does not like company. I see someone who has gotten through life alone and would like it to stay that way. You belittle your feelings because you think they're silly and fall into self-loathing because of it, and seeing you do this to yourself makes me so sad.

Here are three things I want you to know, Mercy.

1. It's okay to feel, and it's okay to express those feelings. Feeling is part of being human.

2. Friends can offer you nothing else can. If you'd allow yourself to make any, you would come to understand this. We're friends, aren't we? I sincerely hope I helped you in some way before I passed--I know you helped me. You helped me find my strength and passion.

3. You're better than you think. You're strong, you're determined, you're brave and you are honorable. You have the traits of a hero. And I know you're going to hate me saying that, but it's true and quite frankly it needs to be said.

Mercy, I know you must feel empty and dull. I know you feel stuck and alone, and I know you're not going to do anything to change that. Not alone, at least. So find someone to change things with. I would've been so happy to have been that person, but again, if you're reading this...

Parts of the page were more fragile than others--as if that's where teardrops had landed and dried. Mercy exhaled cooly, taking a brief reprieve from reading.

She closed her eyes. A moment passed.

Eriko had called Mercy a hero. Did she ever realize Eriko was the true hero?

Eriko was so many things that Mercy admired, that she wished she could be--that she wished she could've protected. Why did the girl's presence trigger so much emotion in the hunter? Why did reading this make her miss the girl even more?

Mercy was supposed to be fine now. She was over it, she'd been weak but it was behind her now because she didn't let these things get to her.

She reopened her eyes, taking a deep breath. Just get through it. Get through it for Eriko--she wanted you to read thus, so it's the least you can do.

Finding where she left off, she continued.

...Then, unfortunately, that's not possible. But you'd better find a happy ending, Miss Crocker! Find it so you can grant my dying wish. That's right. If you don't find friends and do the things that make you happy then I will haunt you from the grave! And I know you believe in ghosts, Mercy, so take that to heart.

A chill ran down Mercy’s spine. She was right.

Ahh. I've written so much and yet there's still so much more that I want to say, but I don't want to be late for the morning meeting. I think I've recorded the most important parts. And, well, if we're fortunate enough, you won't be reading this at all. Here's to hoping. Haha. Well…

Let's leave this on a good note. You are a hero, Mercy. You are my hero. You gave me strength and you inspired me to do my best for everyone here, and for that, I am so thankful. I hope what I've left you is enough to prevent as many more deaths as possible.

Have a wonderful, exciting, and happy life.

Sincerely,

Eriko

Mercy bit her lip.

I'm not… why can't she understand that…

“How does she see right through me so easily?” Mercy whispered to herself.

All those walls and it did nothing to trick those analytical eyes. At this point, Mercy wasn't even surprised, she just…

...She missed her. Eriko was the first person who saw Mercy genuinely smile, she was the first person who saw her as more than a cold, intimidating hunter, and she was…

A friend. Eriko was Mercy’s first actual friend, and she was dead.

“Mercy?”

Mercy looked up from Eriko's letter, trying to erase any emotions that may have been showing on her face.

Graham scooted closer to her. He seemed oddly apprehensive--fingers fidgeting, he started quietly. “M-Mercy, you don't… we’re your friends. We're here for you. And you're amazing!”

Mercy bristled. “You--did you read it?!”

“N-not all of it,” Graham quickly said. “I started to feel bad like halfway through and--”

“Halfway through?! Why did you think to stop halfway through?!”

“W-why are you getting so mad? Mercy, I just--I-I want to be able to help. Let me help, okay?” Graham pleaded, crawling over to her. “Why don’t we go hunt bears after this, like you said? It’ll be fun!”

“I--” Mercy stood abruptly, tensing. “No, god, just--Graham, stop. This wasn’t even meant for you to read!”

He stood with her, placing his hands on her shoulders. She recoiled, shoving him back.

“Mercy--”

“Stop!” She snapped. “I---I’m completely fine, alright?”

Graham hesitated. “...E-Eriko didn’t think you were. Can’t you just tell me how to make you feel better? Friends are supposed to make friends feel better, right?”

“I don’t need friends,” Mercy said sharply, “and nothing’s wrong. So just leave it.”

Graham was silent.

Mercy took a deep breath. Stepping away from him and to another part of the room, she knelt down and resumed sifting through papers, fully aware of the fact that she’d just snapped at him in front of everyone.

Today they were finding out everyone’s secrets, but she hadn’t really thought of her feelings and frustrations as ‘secret’ until that very moment. They were things she tried to hide, and they were things she would never tell a person in her life, though, so she supposed…

...They were, in a way, a secret.

Graham took a seat on Eriko’s bed. He bit his nail, looking over at the hunter with an oddly thoughtful expression. “...Mercy?”

She tensed. “What?”

He smirked. “I… I, uh, wanna offer you a deal. We’re supposed to be finding out secrets today, right? Stuff about each other?”

Mercy pursed her lips.

Graham coughed. “Well, um. How about this? I’ll tell everyone stuff about me. And then, after I do that, you tell everyone stuff about you. So it’s like we’re trading.”

She shifted. I don’t want to--if they know that I’m...

“...You know what? I’ll just go ahead and start.” Graham placed his hands in his lap, taking a deep breath. “When I was seven or so, I was diagnosed with leukemia.”

“I--Graham, you don’t have to tell us anything about you,” Mercy muttered. “I didn’t even agree to your deal.”

He smiled. “That’s okay. I wanna tell everyone, because you’re all my friends, and you guys should know stuff about me. Even if it makes me feel weird and exposed. Anyway, I’m not done yet, so I’m gonna keep going. I was diagnosed with leukemia---naturally, my parents and I were really, really scared. And we spent every penny we had on all kinds of treatments, hospital visits, doctors, and… well, you know.”

He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. Whether this was hard for the thief to talk about or not, Mercy couldn’t tell--she watched him warily, however.

“Long story short, we ended up really broke. Worse than that, it didn’t look like anything was working. My dad always tells me how all the doctors were sure I wasn’t gonna make it, haha. And though my dad was with me until what looked like the end, my mom, she… well, actually, I don’t know much about why she left.” He paused. “My dad doesn’t like to talk about it and I don’t like to push, but I think it was something along the lines of her not being able to take it anymore and leaving? Whatever happened, she’s always been out of the picture. Also, sorry I’m talking about all this sad stuff that isn’t even secret-y, I’m--I’m getting to it. I’m getting to more secret-y, personal stuff.”

Graham shifted. “Well, actually, it’s not sad. It was scary, but it’s not sad because I survived! Hurray! I’m here now and I’m healthy and happy as ever. But I mean, it… well, I almost died, and that was really scary. Even to kid me it was scary--a-actually, it was especially scary to little me.” He took a deep breath, laughing nervously. “I was always a sensitive little kid. But coming so close to death, it kinda--well. Seeing the way it tore my dad apart, being in so much pain, and just seeing all of the other kids who weren’t as lucky as I was, it all just… it scarred me. I’ve always loved shiny things, but I actually picked up thieving after my recovery started. I stole because I was afraid of dying again. I was afraid of getting sick again and not getting lucky, so I stole anything that I ever liked so I could try to be as happy as possible while I still lived. My dad tried to get me to stop, but I just got better at sneaking things into my room, and I--I started to grow really attached to everything I took.”

He paused again, taking another deep breath. “Because objects can’t feel. Objects can’t love. I can love them, though. But if I die, then they don’t have to mourn me, you know? They wouldn’t--they wouldn’t have to cry, or be sad, or lose someone they love. They… they wouldn’t have to sob the way my dad did.”

Graham paused one more time, reaching a hand up to wipe his eyes--was he crying? Shifting, the thief brought his knees to his chest and tried to laugh it off, continuing.

“...S-sorry, I just--um.... s-so I got attached to all of the things I stole, and I just kept stealing more and more. By now, I really can’t help it--i-it’s kind of uncontrollable. It’s instinct. And whenever someone tries to take back something I stole, it’s like they’re trying to take a piece of my heart, you know? H-haha. Oh gosh, I’m such a weirdo.” He sniffled. “That’s not all, though. I’m also a total crybaby. I cry over the stupidest things and I always have, and everyone’s always made fun of me for it. I’m like a soggy teddy bear, a-and I hate that about myself, because it makes me feel really weak. I’ve always felt weak my entire life--I was weak and I almost died, and my parents had to suffer for it. My mom left because I was sick, and because of that my dad lost the love of his life and for a while, he thought he was gonna lose his son, too. He must’ve felt so alone. And then, even when I got better, I was still weak and I started thieving because I was scared. It caused so much trouble for everyone around me--the people I took from, my dad, who had to take the blame… and like a cherry on top of the weakling cake, I’d cry! I’d weep all the time, like a total wimp--snot and tears everywhere, man. It just made every situation so much worse, and no matter how much I wanted to I could never stop because I was never strong enough.”

He wiped more tears from his eyes, chuckling. “Ugh. Sorry, where was I even going with this? I’m crying again. Darn it, I hate it when I cry. You know, I can’t believe I didn’t break down sobbing at the end of the first trial, haha. Speaking of... I swore to myself I was never going to tell you guys this ever, but while we’re sharing stuff about ourselves…” he cleared his throat. “For most of the trials, I-I tried really hard to be strong in front of you guys. But when they’d end, the moment I got to my room I’d just sob for hours. I was really desperate for you guys not to see me break because I wanted to be there for someone else for once. I-I didn’t want to be a selfish thief, or the crybaby, or the nuisance or the sick little kid. D-does that even make any sense? Wh-whatever. I’ve shared a ton, s-so I think I’m done for now. I...augh, when I start crying, I can never stop…”

Mercy bit her lip. Graham was supposed to be the happy one. He was supposed to be goofy, stupid, and… and happy.

The very second Graham finished his story, Faqir pulled him into a tight hug, holding Graham’s head against his shoulder. Madoka noticed tears already welling in the jeweler’s eyes.

Levi crawled back to Graham and placed a hand on his leg.

Madoka bit his lip, admittedly not sure what to say. He was never sure what to say, really--not when so much was at stake.

Faqir was quiet for a moment. “...We’ll trade strength, remember?”

Levi hummed. For a moment, Madoka wondered if the concept was familiar to him; he imagined having to maintain a poised, strong facade was at least somewhat relatable for Levi.

“So, hey.” Faqir smiled, patting Graham’s back. “It’s about time you let me have some. Geez, I’ve been a mess lately. Listen, Graham, you’re not...it’s not pathetic. You wanna talk pathetic? I straight-up vomited after the first trial and it’s only gotten worse since then. I was supposed to be a pillar of good humor for you guys and I failed in the course of a few days. So really...you’re the strongest guy I know, Graham. You’re the strongest guy I know because you kept it together just for us. You let yourself feel, but you were able to hold it together. And that’s...that’s amazing. It’s amazing and it’s even more amazing that you’re willing to be honest with us now. ...So I guess it’s my turn now, huh? I never...I never told you guys the real reason I started making everything into a joke, did I?”

Madoka shook his head. “I figured it was just something you did.”

“Ha. Kind of is, I guess.” Faqir glanced at his broken foot, his eyes oddly somber. “...September 11, 2001. A plane crashed into the World Trade Center in New York in the USA, killing thousands of people. At the time, I was still living in Afghanistan with my parents.”

Faqir’s uninjured foot tapped against the bed. He pulled Graham closer.

“...It’s really a beautiful country. Man, there was this great copper mine not far from where we lived. My dad used to bring home all these gorgeous stones--for my third birthday, he bought me this beautiful lapis stone. I still had it in my old room. But, you know, people don’t tend to think about that.” Faqir paused for a moment, sighing. “Sometimes I don’t even think about that and I was born and raised there. Well...raised until the war began, at least. Man, you guys think this is bad? Imagine turning on the news every day and hearing of more civilians killed, more soldiers slaughtered like cattle. The American war started in October of the same year, 2001. I was still living there.”

Madoka glanced at the floor. No wonder he...oh, Faqir, why didn’t you tell us?

“Mom and Dad started fighting pretty early on.” Faqir patted Graham’s back, distracted. “I think they were just scared. We were all scared. At first, we weren’t in the direct line of fire and things were alright--we were able to hang in there and just keep doing what we were doing. That was around the time I started really picking up jewelry-making. I must have been, what...four? I couldn’t do a lot at a young age, but Dad helped and Mom seemed happy I was at least doing some kind of trade. And then five years passed and we realized we were no longer safe. ...By 2007, violence in the country had reached an all-time high among civilians. People were dying in droves. We couldn’t afford to stay any longer, so we fled the country when I was about ten. ...You know, it’s ironic. We ended up going to America. I remember the flight there--I thought it was strange we were going to this country that had declared war and forced us to flee our home, so I asked my mom if we were planning to declare war back. She laughed--it was the first time I’d heard her laugh in years.”

The ensuing silence was oddly nostalgic. In contrast to the other two who had shared their stories, Faqir seemed strangely at-ease.

“That started a long, never-ending habit I’ve had trouble breaking to this day.” Faqir gave a decisive nod. “Thankfully for me, I was still so young when we moved that it was a bit easier to learn English. My parents struggled for a while, though. I had a chance to talk to the American kids and learn all the things they would joke about and relay it to my parents. Ha, the first time I tried making a sex joke my dad hit me so hard I had a bloody nose for the rest of the day. He didn’t mean it, he just put a bit too much power behind his swing. I told him I would call the police. He laughed at that.”

Levi moved his other hand to rest on Faqir’s injured foot. Faqir grinned.

“Set up shop not long after that. I managed to take a pretty sizable collection of stones across the border--well, enough to start with, at least. When Mom and Dad would start fighting again and jokes weren’t getting them to calm down, I just distracted myself with sketching jewelry designs and planning pieces to make for them. Dad liked to help with the financial aspect of things, which was useful because if he left me in charge of all the money I made off selling stuff I would spend it all on drugs and hookers. Emphasis on hookers.”

Levi whacked his foot. Faqir laughed, nudging him playfully.

“I was supposed to be...used to this,” he continued. “I lived in a war, for f*ck’s sake. It’s not like Bonnie was my first time seeing a dead body. It’s just that...it was the first time I really knew that dead body. The first time I ever touched a corpse with my own two hands. The first time I ever watched someone die before my eyes. The first time that dead body was a genuine friend of mine. I guess it took me back to the war, so as time went on and that body count started piling up again, I just...snapped. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I tried to just keep joking about it and making fun of the situation like I had for Mom and Dad--it made them laugh, which made me happy, so it was fine, right?--but the longer this dragged on, the more I realized people had stopped laughing. By now I’m just...tired. I’m furious at Monokuma for making me face this again and I’m tired of failing at it. ...No subject’s off limits if it can get a laugh. That’s kinda the mantra I adopted. It worked for a while, at least.”

Levi finally asked what Madoka had been thinking since the story started. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Probably because talking about it would make the connection more real,” Faqir mused. “I’ve barely even thought about it until now. I guess talking about our tragic edgy backstories just got me thinking. ...It’s not as bad, but there’s one ‘secret’ out of the way. Actually, I’m not even sure if we’re legal. Oh yeah, and while we’re on the topic Ysabel was right about the fudged pricing. It was Dad’s idea, he knew most people buying from me only cared about pretty things and didn’t know anything about the actual value of precious stones so I bumped up a few hundred bucks just to see if it would work. I know, I know, I’m a hack fraud.”

“You’re not a fraud,” Levi protested. “...But ‘hack’ is right, yeah, that’s basically just stealing from people.”

Faqir emphatically clapped Graham on the back. “Thievery pals.”

---

Graham sniffed, shaking. He leaned into Faqir's hug. "You forgot the alliteration. Criminal companions. O-or burglar buddies. Whichever one sounds better."

Mercy crossed her legs, expression softening as she watched the two. Admittedly, seeing how close they'd become over the course of the entire endeavor was nice--endearing, even. She sighed, at ease, somehow. The feeling was reminiscent of when she'd watch the sunrise from the large, empty living room. It was always best when she sat in the huge leather green chair with a warm drink.

She'd always thought times like that were best spent alone, but thinking back on it now, she wasn't sure. Wouldn't it be nice to share it with someone else?

Graham pointed at her. "Your turn."

"Mm?" Mercy looked up, the feeling slowly fading. Her heart dropped--how long would she have to wait to find it again? "Turn for what?"

"Turn for story sharing," Graham replied. "F-Faqir, make Mercy tell us feelings. We said stuff so it's only fair she does."

Mercy looked away, chest clenching at the idea of pouring her feelings out to everyone there. "I don't--I'm just not a 'feelings' kind of person. All that soft stuff is weird, and I--I just don't like talking about it. Can't you just respect that?"

"N-nope. I-I'm crying now because of you, so it's only fair!" Graham declared, tears still falling down his cheeks.

"Well, that's your own fault, isn't it?" Mercy pointed out. "You're the one who decided to start talking about stuff. You didn't need to, and neither do I."

Graham sniffled. "What will it take for you to open up? W-we're still in Eriko's room. If you don't tell us, we can just go through the stuff about you and find out that way. You don't want it to come to that, do you?"

Mercy scoffed. "She doesn't have a section on me. You wanna know why?"

"Why?" Graham questioned.

"Because she left everything in here for me," Mercy said, "and I already know about myself, so there was no need to make a section about me. So I don't have any reason to worry."

With that, Mercy returned to looking through papers, sighing. Why can't they just keep out of my business?

Graham began to whisper something to Faqir.

Mercy did have a point--Eriko had left her handbook with Mercy specifically to grant her alone access to the secrets contained within. It was probably infringing on their privacy for everyone to have entered the room together.

Faqir frowned, stroking Graham’s hair. “You made my husband cry. The least you can do to make up for it is talk about your feelings.”

No...I don’t think that will help, but…

“Mercy,” Madoka began thoughtfully, “would you like to talk to Eriko too?”

“Oh yeah, good idea!” Faqir flashed a thumbs up. “That’ll get the feelings flowing.”

“I-it isn’t about the feelings,” Madoka said quickly. “I just thought...she left the handbook for you, s-so maybe you could ask her if it’s alright that all these people followed you.”

In the ensuing pause, Levi rose from Graham and Faqir’s feet and moved to Faussin instead, smiling brightly.

Madoka bit his lip. “I know...feelings can be weird and scary, and when you talk about them it makes them real. Sometimes you don’t want them to be real. But, Mercy...they already are real. They’re real and they’re valid because they’re yours. S-so sometimes it’s okay to talk about them, because when you talk about them you realize other people have the same feelings, and then you make friends.”

Levi seemed thoughtful. “No therapist ever became successful through making people talk about their feelings,” he commented. “If someone isn’t interested in talking, there’s nothing we should be doing to force it. Forced feelings usually turn into anger. ...Mercy, if one day you decide you trust us enough to feel like sharing, that would be great. But in the meantime, we still have time before Monokuma leaves us what he found on you, so nothing is bound to come up yet, right?”

Madoka wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or terrified that Levi had somehow managed to turn a comforting speech into a threat.

“Boo,” Faqir called. “You’re a terrible therapist.”

“The best therapeutic approach is one that involves the input of the client,” Levi announced brightly, smiling at Faussin. “Thus, we shouldn’t try to force Mercy to talk. On that note, Fauss, do you still want help getting around?”

Ah, I forgot Fauss! Somehow, in the excitement of entering Eriko’s room and learning everyone’s secrets, Madoka had completely forgotten to look after the Ultimate Illusionist. He quickly shuffled to Faussin’s side, mumbling apologies.

---

Mercy stiffened. Even if her 'secrets' weren't all that bad, the last thing she wanted was them hearing her vulnerabilities from the mouth of Monokuma and not herself. She gritted her teeth, suppressing the urge to punch. They had her pushed up against a wall and she hated it.

"I-I...I don't really know what to look at," Fauss admitted, not having moved much from the moment they came. He smiled somewhat wryly at Madoka, "and i-it's okay, thanks for h-helping..."

Mercy's instinct was to divert attention Fauss and ask him for his tragic backstory instead. But no matter how much diverting she did, things would end up coming back to her in the end.

At this point, it was her not wanting to crack because of Levi's stupid threat. Knowing it was between her or Monokuma to reveal her icky feelings, she'd rather take the bullet. Better they heard it from her mouth, anyway.

It's not even a matter of trust, Mercy realized, sighing. You're just too proud for your own good. At least everyone else here was brave enough to share their stories, and theirs are already so much worse than what little worries you. Show them some respect and just let go of your touchy stubbornness for a second.

Mercy took a deep breath. She folded Eriko's note up into fours and slipped it into her jacket pocket, making a mental note to never let Graham hug her in case he tried to steal it. Then again, as the Ultimate Thief, he probably didn't need a hug to steal. He could do as little as brush by someone in the hallway and end up with the contents of their purse and more.

She knit her hands together, preparing to let go of the comfort of her walls. This is going to suck.

"Fine. You want your stupid story, you'll get your stupid story," Mercy said, finally. "It's not even that interesting, so maybe if I get lucky you'll all fall asleep halfway through."

"I promise not to fall asleep," Graham called out supportively.

Mercy frowned. "That's not comforting in the least."

"It may not be on the outside," Graham began, "but I bet it is in your heart. We're all listening, Mercy. N-now story time!"

He clearly does not understand how I feel about 'story sharing,' Mercy decided, sighing. But here goes nothing.

"I live alone," Mercy started, closing her eyes. "Harvey was there too, for a time. I think I've offhandedly mentioned him to you all before, but I don't think I've ever said his name outright, so allow me to clarify: Harvey is a close friend of my father--when Dad passed, he raised me in his stead. Harvey is the closest thing to a parent I've ever had, considering my dad died in a hunting accident when I was young and my mom died even earlier than he did. To what, I never asked."

Mercy paused, wary of continuing. Head still resting on Faqir's shoulder, Graham watched intently, trying to suppress any sniffs or whimpers. She briefly remembered what he'd said at the end of his outpour of feelings--"when I start crying, I can never stop."

"If you're worried about me being sad about this, it's fine. Honestly, it never really affected me--my father was gone, but his spirit was not. He was what first inspired me to take up hunting. In that sport, I felt a connection to him that nothing else gave me--it was almost as though he was there when I tracked down my first game. He's what made me grow so attached to it. ...That probably sounds ridiculous to you all, doesn't it?"

"It doesn't sound ridiculous," Graham offered softly.

"It does," Mercy replied, not giving anyone room to object. "And that's fine. Moving on, I've always had a pretty simple life. Spending time with Harvey, hunting, us venturing out to far off places and enjoying the views... I've never really needed anything else. For a time, it was perfect."

She smiled sadly, eyes flickering to the floor.

"But perfect doesn't last forever. Harvey was getting older. He was becoming ill, as older people are prone to do, and he could no longer come out with me on hunts or take trips with me to exciting new places. It quickly got to a point where the old man couldn't so much as leave his bed, much less take care of himself. I think I was about fourteen when this happened. Naturally, I dropped everything to help him--I made him food, I read him the same stories he used to read me, and I even took care of his urinary needs, which was... well, quite frankly, disgusting. Though I was always anxious to go outside and hunt or find the perfect place to watch the sunrise, I never minded too terribly. He'd looked after me all those years, so it was only fair that I returned the favor."

"...It grew exhausting, however. I would never leave the house because I'd be too busy taking care of him all of the time. He noticed this. At first, we ended up hiring a nurse to take over so that I could still go about my business, but that idea didn't work out too well. Despite her being one of these most talented and recommended nurses in her field, I still doubted her skills and ended up staying home all day to watch anyway. On top of that, the times when I would go out, I'd become worried and lose focus because I'd be too busy thinking of all the things that could go wrong back home."

She brought her arms closer to her chest, sighing. "Long story short, we ended up putting him in a nursing home. I should assure you that it was, without a shred of doubt, the best home we could possibly find. We spent weeks--months, even--combing through all of the different options and visiting every place of interest before finally deciding. Unfortunately, the only place I was comfortable with him going was... halfway across the country. That reminds me--I don't think I ever mentioned this, mostly because it never seemed relevant, but parts of the story may make less sense without it. See, we're awfully wealthy. Wealthy enough that I could live in our mansion for the rest of my life and never earn a dollar and I'd still be very rich by the time I died. Granted, this is factoring in my spending habits, which are pretty minimal. Usually I only buy the essentials--food, clothing, bills. And if you're wondering how I'm allowed to live on my own, I was emancipated. I was also homeschooled and started a bit late, so I finished middle school later than most others do."

Mercy shifted, continuing.

"I went off on a tangent, sorry. Anyway, he went to the nursing home, and he was happy there. I visited him very frequently at first--every weekend, in fact, but as time went on it was... it was harder for me to see him. He was getting sicker and it was getting more and more painful to watch. I came less and less--at first, it was every other week. Then it was once every month. Before I knew it, it was only on holidays. Of course, we still called each other very frequently, but there were times when I neglected to answer. In fact, it got to a point where I had not the strength to answer more than half of the time he called, and even when I did, conversation was awkward and short. He did talk me into getting a puppy at one point, however. I would always take him with me wherever I went."

Tank...

Her fists clenched, heart suddenly hammering in her chest.

"Ha...haha. He hasn't been fed in weeks."

She buried her head in her hands, chuckling mirthlessly.

"Harvey's condition was worsening, too. I can only imagine what he thinks of me now. I haven't gone to visit him, I haven't answered a single call, I haven't said a word to him or the nurses..."

"M-Mercy..."

"How long have we been here?" She asked. "At least a month, right? Ha. Haha. Did I ever tell you guys that I don't even really like hunting anymore? After Harvey got sick, somehow it just made me feel worse about myself. I felt like my dad's presence slowly disappeared as time went on and I was just left all on my own with nothing but my regret and self-hatred. I live in a great, big house with no one but myself and my now dead dog, a creep as my only neighbor and the only sound coming from rainstorms and the phone I never bother to pick up."

I'm all alone.

"I don't talk to anyone else. I never have. I don't like people, I don't like making friends, and I hate feeling vulnerable because the one thing I do have is my stupid f*cking walls. At least the one thing I can do is look strong--I could look strong for Harvey so that he could smile, but no. I just had to break over Eriko's death, you guys just had to remind of how f*cking pathetic I am. Thanks a lot."

Tears welled in Mercy's eyes and she covered them with her hands, laughing.

You left Harvey to die.

"Are you happy now? You glad you finally got your stupid f*cking story?!"

Mercy…

Not for the first time, Madoka was at a complete loss for words. He bit his lip, fidgeting with the apatite bracelet. Come on, you’re supposed to be aiding my communication. Help me out here!

Even Faqir--who usually had at least some form of remark to offer--was uncharacteristically silent.

Levi…

Levi calmly moved as if to pass Faussin over to Madoka and advanced towards Mercy. Madoka reached over to take Faussin’s hand, determined not to leave him alone again.

Levi knelt in front of Mercy, smiling bitterly. “I’m not going to hug you, don’t worry. I seem to remember you hating those as much as I usually do.”

Madoka shuffled, glancing at Faussin every so often to make sure he was doing alright.

Levi was quiet for a moment. “Yeah...losing beloved friends, knowing you can’t talk to them, living alone in an empty place...mm. I wonder if that’s how Lucifer felt. Maybe that’s why he was so quick to latch on to Saul. It’s not like my method was any better--yeah, whoring yourself out to guys just to string them along isn’t the best way to cope with crippling loneliness. Walling yourself up from everyone? It seems good in theory, but then you wonder...what happens when they inevitably fall? I guess this is our answer. No one can stay strong forever.”

“Levi.” Faqir’s eyes flickered to the floor. “I don’t think you’re helping.”

“Of course I’m not helping.” There was an undertone of brokenness in Levi’s voice. He shook his head. “I did just explain that I haven’t spoken to my only friends in over a year, didn’t I? I’m not the person to come to for solutions on how to fix feeling like a failure and having no one around to tell you you’re not.”

Both of you...you’re not alone. It’s okay. You’re not…

“I mean, really.” Levi laughed lightly. “The only solution I could offer is to move in with you and help you take care of that big place. I’ve lived in a mansion before, I’m used to large cleaning jobs. I’d have to take Madoka too, since I guess we’re kind of a package deal now...but I doubt you want to have to look at the face that killed your dearest friend every day. I don’t want to either. Why do you think I wear makeup?”

You’re not alone. You’re not…

“Yeah...I didn’t come over here to give you some big speech about how we’re here for you, things will get better, and I have the perfect one-size-fits-all solution to all your problems.” Levi folded his legs, complacent. “I didn’t come here to say I can understand the feeling, because I can’t. Not in the same way as you. A similar feeling, sure--I suggested a f*cking murder-suicide over my own crippling loneliness and feelings of worthlessness--but not the same. I won’t pretend it’s the same. Instead…”

Madoka looked over at Faussin, hoping the mention of his pact with Clair hadn’t triggered anything.

Levi was quiet for a moment. “...Instead, I just want to tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for...everything. For pressing you to share, for...for killing your dear friend. For being just as worthless--no, worse, because...I’m sorry, Mercy. And thank you. Thank you for being willing to be open. I…”

Madoka recognized the familiar glazing-over of Levi’s eyes by now. More worried than ever, he stepped closer to Faussin.

“I...h-ha. I did this to you.” Levi hissed something, a strained smile stretched across his face. He reached to his arms, scratching absently. “And now here I go about to f*cking break again. God, Levi, this isn’t about you. For once can you just stop being an attention-seeking little b*tch and let everyone be there for Mercy? D*mmit, I-I don’t want...I don’t want to do this. F*ck. Sh*t. Sorry for my language, I just…f*ck.”

Madoka moved to grip Faussin’s sleeve. “I’m here,” he whispered. “It’s okay, Fauss. I’m here.”

In the moment, he wasn’t sure if staying near Faussin was more for Faussin’s sake or his own.

Levi reached up to wipe tears from his eyes, biting on his lip to draw blood. His fingernails scratched at his cheek.

“W-where’s Clair?” he whispered. “I-I can’t do this. I need Clair. Clair can hold it together. I-I’m fine, I just need her…”

For a moment, a familiar, lilting pitch came from Levi’s mouth. “It’s okay. It’s all okay. Just hide everything, stuff it all down, we can make it through this. You’re fine, hon. I’m fine. Ah…”

Levi slapped himself, causing a surprisingly loud “whack”. Madoka jumped, clinging more tightly to Faussin.

Levi took a deep breath. “There. There we are. It’s fine. Focus on Mercy. Why am I still...focus on Mercy, d*mmit. She needs us, because everyone needs someone, because when you have no one you end up like me!”

By now, Faqir seemed alert, perking up slightly. “Hey, bro. Calm down, alright? Everything is fine.”

“It’s not fine! God, I f*cking hate it when I do this! Listen, forget about me, I--I-I’m fine, this is about Mercy. Mercy is suffering too and we can’t...don’t let me do this again. Oh God, Clair, please don’t let me do this again!”

Madoka couldn’t tell if he had started trembling or Faussin had, but his arm wouldn’t stay still. It’s alright, Mado. He’s fine. We’re all fine. Everything is fine...

Levi loud out a scream, tearing out a fistful of hair. Madoka winced, deliberately focusing on Faussin.

“F*CKING H*LL! I tried not to be selfish, I-I swear I tried! Stop drawing attention, you f*cking slut! You can miss them later, you can deal with your own sh*t later, just let this...let this be about someone else for once! Why are none of you tending to Mercy?! I-I’m the one who did this, I don't get to have sympathy! G-God, I-I really thought...I-I thought it’d be fine, I...I-I want Clair back. I’m getting--I’m getting Clair back. Look after Mercy!”

The speed at which Levi sprung to his feet and darted for the door was astounding. Faqir made to stand up, crying out when he added pressure to his damaged foot.

Madoka was startled into speaking. “Levi--!”

The door slammed behind the makeup artist without another word. Faqir stared for a moment before murmuring something to Graham and hobbling over to Mercy. Madoka stood in dumbstruck silence.

“If you start thinking that was your fault, we’re gonna have a problem, Mercy,” Faqir mumbled, dropping to the ground and placing a hand on Mercy’s shoulder. “It’s...all gonna work out. Kid’s completely insane. I...I’m here for you. We all are, so no one is alone. Mercy, I’ve...got your back.”

Though he’d never say it out loud, Madoka was jealous of how quickly Faqir had stepped up. For Madoka’s part, he was trapped in a stunned silence, moving closer to Faussin once more.

We’re so close. God in heaven, please don’t let us all break now.

---

Mercy tensed at the feeling of Faqir's hand on her back. His closeness was uncomfortable, but she couldn't make herself snap at him to go away--it reminded her far too much of Harvey. The old man could always see through her walls, could always tell what she needed or when she was holding back from saying something. Buying a puppy was all his idea, after all, and she full well knew why he rallied so hard for Tank. He knew how lonely she was, how hard his sickness was hitting her--knowing there was no way she'd even try making friends, he went for the second best: man's best friend.

Tank starved to death.

She hated how much her heart hurt. She hated how weak she felt, she hated that she had to cry in front of everyone else. Hadn't she lost it enough when Eriko died? How much more pathetic could she get?

I bet Harvey's already dead. He was hardly hanging on as it was.

Mercy shoved Faqir's arm away, laughing joylessly. "I don't need your comfort. I don't..."

She pressed her hand against her eyes, wiping away the tears as they came. The only reason she bothered to tell them anything in the first place was because she didn't want to hear it coming out of Monokuma's mouth. Oh, god. She could already hear it in his stupid cute voice.

"That's right, folks. Mercy left him to die alone halfway across the freakin' country!"

She laughed harder, tears coming faster.

No. No, I can't break. Why can't I...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

"I'm so..."

Alone. Heartless. Pathetic.

Madoka tried to stop staring at the door. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Faussin scratching his arms and quickly reached out to grab his hand.

"It's okay," he said quietly, his voice cracking. "Everything is...e-everything is all fine. We're fine, it's...it's fine. B-because we're going to make it out of this! We're going to escape, all of us together, and we love each other and we're all friends so it's fine, i-it's all..."

No. Madoka, please. You can't...y-you can't...

Faqir suddenly slammed a fist on the floor, accidentally crushing one of Eriko's papers. He quickly reached down to smooth it out. "No. You know what? Mado, Mercy, both of you stop it. Shut up about how you 'need' to be strong. No one needs you to be strong! Because none of us are! I finally realized that, okay? We grow strong by supporting each other, by loving each other and being there for each other, and if you two don't break every once in a while then we can't--"

"I'm not breaking!" Madoka shouted suddenly, his whole body feeling stiff and sore. Tears spilled from his eyes; he reached up, wiping them away and sniffling sporadically. "I-I'm not going to let go of hope! I'm not going to shut down and shove everyone away like Mercy did! I'm not going to give in to despair like Fauss and Clair--Levi did! I'm not going to give up, not when we're this close, so stop trying to make me!"

No. N-no, stop, don't yell at him. He's just trying to help...

"D*mmit, would both of you just--" Faqir groaned, running his hands through his hair. "How are we supposed to help if you won't let us?! All this stupid 'bottling everything up' sh*t is driving me f*cking nuts! You all want to talk about losing a friend?! I lost six! Try standing on that podium when every single f*cking time the person being sent to the chopping block before your eyes or the person you found laying cold and dead is a personal friend of yours! I was the only one to really get to know Bonnie and she died! I was close pals with Braeden and he got beaten to death right in front of me! I had just bonded with Lottie over a shared love of jokes and she killed herself! I grew close with Oni over her antics and the way she genuinely just wanted to keep us all together and she sacrificed herself! I had finally established a trust and a firm relationship with Romano and he got cooked to death! I had grown to admire Viv's composure and she drowned!"

Madoka flinched. "F-Faqir, I...I-I'm sorry."

"No, shut up, I don't--" Faqir broke off into a laugh. "I just wish you would all understand that this isn't easy for any of us! We're all breaking and dying inside, but...but the only way we're ever going to make it out of this alive is if we just trust each other and let each other in, if we're just honest and we let each other comfort everyone and we just band together. I don't--I don't want to lose another friend, okay? I-I can't go through this again, this is...this is tearing me apart, I broke my f*cking toes over how much this was breaking me but at least I'm being honest about it so all of you know, so you know and you can...you can do something. So just...let me do this for you, okay?"

Madoka sniffled, glancing over at Faussin. "...I-I'm just...I'm terrified," he admitted at last. "We're all slowly just shattering, a-and when we're this close...I-I can't afford to give up. I can't afford to lose my mind. I can't afford to let go of hope. I-I just...I can't. Not when it's just one trial away, not when we're...we're so close, please...p-please don't let us all break now..."

Someone, please, I...

I want a hug.

Madoka leaned against Faussin, gripping his hands. We'll be alright, Fauss. We can make it out of here. Please...

No more of this.

---

"No. No. You don't get it."

Mercy gritted her teeth.

"Didn't I tell you that I didn't care? Did you ever realize I only mourned the people that I actually cared about? I--I was never concerned about being strong for anyone else, I wasn't... I was strong for me, you idiot. I was strong because it was something I was good at it, because it was something I could find comfort in and I..."

She shuddered, laughing.

"And I lost it. I lost all I had, and..."

She pulled Faqir closer and wrapped her arms around him, suddenly shattering.

"A-and I don't know what to do anymore. I-I'm terrified and in pain and I'm alone and I'm sick of it!" She screamed, shaking. "You want to help?! Then just--just f*cking--I-I don't know! Eriko knew and she's gone! She's dead because I wasn't there, just like how I wasn't there for Harvey, just like how I wasn't there for Tank, and now they're all f*cking DEAD!"

Mercy screamed into Faqir's chest, tears gushing down her face. "Why is everything I touch destined to die?!"

Graham cautiously hopped down from the bed and crawled over to Madoka and Faussin, whispering something to the two of them. Faussin tried to draw away from the two, but Graham urged him to stay, taking one hand from each boy. He hugged them. Faussin stiffened.

Madoka hugged Graham immediately, sobbing. I just want this all to be over. Can't this all just be over...?

"I'm here for you guys," he heard Graham whisper.

Sniffling, Madoka choked out, "I-I'm here for you too. W-we're going to make it through this."

Hearing Mercy break down somehow only made things worse--and Levi was still absent, which somehow only worried Madoka.

Please, please don't let him have run off to kill himself. Please bring him back safely. Please, please, please...

Faqir held Mercy's head against his chest, rubbing her back. "You're not alone, and if you say that one more time I'm going to f*cking sleep next to you. Screw Monokuma's rules," he muttered. "...Listen, it's...we're in the final stretch now. We're going to get out of here together. No one else is going to die here, because no secret is bad enough to kill over. I..."

Madoka sniffled, reaching one hand out to wrap around Faussin while the other continued clinging to Graham.

Faqir took a deep breath. "I promised you, remember? I promised I wasn't going to die on you and I don't plan on breaking that promise when we're so close. I know it's not the same, you don't have to tell me that, but...at least it's something, right? Geez..."

We're so close. Please...we're so close...

Madoka could almost see his home, could almost feel his mother's hug, could almost hear his sisters teasing him. He could almost smell his mother's homemade cooking and hear the jingling of his father's keys as he walked in the door. They were so close to getting back to that again.

After a moment, Faqir finally said, "You're good at lots of things, Mercy. You're smart, you're strong--I'm not even talking just emotionally, I mean physically too--you're brave...even if you can be rude sometimes, hey, I'm not exactly better in that regard. So you don't need this, alright? We'll still love you regardless of how much you love yourself."

Somehow, the quote resonated with Madoka. He sighed, mumbling to himself.

We can make it. We're so close.

They just had to press on. For the sake of everyone they had lost, they had to press on.

---

Mercy sobbed, clinging to Faqir even more tightly. She had friends, she had people who cared about her and would be there for her until the end. They'd gone through h*ll and they were going to escape it together, the finish line was right there in front of them, and yet...

She still felt so alone.

"Where did my happiness go?" She sobbed, desperately searching for some semblance of warmth. "Why won't it come back? W-why isn't this helping? W-why..."

Mercy screamed into his chest again, shaking even more violently.

"Why do I still feel alone?!"

This was supposed to be making her feel better. Friends were supposed to fix things, friends were supposed to be there for each other and they were supposed to make the bad feelings go away. They were supposed to fill the hole in her heart but it was still there, aching.

Mercy felt alone. She felt empty, she felt hopeless and lost and scared.

"Why does it have to hurt this much?" She choked out. "Why am I...I-I just want to feel happy again, but I can't...I can't..."

Graham embraced the two boys, smiling sadly. "No, Madoka. I'm okay right now. You don't have to be here for me, because I'm here for you right now. I'm here for both of you."

"I-I..." Faussin winced. "L-Levi..."

Madoka flinched, clutching at Faussin's shoulder. Is he safe? Is he alright? Why did no one run after him? I should have gone after him. I'm supposed to protect Clair, I promised I would never leave her...

"Thank you, Graham," he whispered. I don't want to do this anymore. No, but I have to...don't give up, Mado. Please, don't give up.

Faqir was quiet, simply holding Mercy against his shoulder. "...Geez. Where's that psychologist when we need him?"

Please be okay. How long had it been? Madoka tried to focus on Mercy instead of his growing worry over Levi.

"Hey, listen, it's alright. It's going to be alright. We'll be home soon, and when we are everything will be fine. Until then, you can stay here as long as you need. I don't mind. I've got you, Mercy. Jewelry boy's got you."

Madoka hated when everything went quiet. When things were quiet, he could hear everyone breaking more clearly than ever.

Thankfully, a knock at the door gave him something to do. Excusing himself, Madoka wriggled out of the hug and went to answer it.

Levi--no, Clair--stood in the doorway, smilng calmly. He waved. "Sorry about freaking out like that. I just had to get some things together again. How's Mercy?"

Somehow, his perfectly level tone and complacent posture made Madoka feel worse. He swallowed, trying to ignore how achingly familiar Clair's guise had become.

Without waiting for an answer, Clair pushed his way into the room, pausing to glance between Faussin and Mercy. After a moment, he moved to Faussin first, reaching out to gently touch his arm and murmur a quick greeting before moving on to Mercy.

"I'm not sure if this makes it better or worse," Clair admitted, chuckling nervously. "But in any case, I promise not to lose my mind this time. Ah, geez...do you need me? What can I do, Mercy?"

Madoka hated the familiar lilt of Clair's voice--it was like Levi had made the complete swap. After having just taken time getting to know Clair's real self, the disguise felt wrong somehow.

Deciding it was best to just stay calm for now, Madoka returned to Faussin and Graham, trying to reinsert himself into the group hug.

---

Mercy buried her head in Faqir's shoulder, shuddering. The absolute last thing she wanted to do was let go. She couldn't let go, she couldn't lose someone else, she couldn't...

"I don't know," she snapped at Clair, fists clenching. "Do you think I'd be so upset if I knew? Do you think I want to feel like this?! I-I hate this feeling! I don't want to feel this way anymore, and I don't want to... just--just go away!"

Mercy hated it. She hated the attention, the hurt, and to think she'd let herself start crying in the first place. If the others could just move on without her, it'd make everything so much better. If she could just scream out her pain while Faqir was there to tell her he was there for her, then maybe that'd...

"J-just ignore me," Mercy hissed, venom directed at herself more than anyone else. "I-I'm not in my right mind right now. J-Just keep looking through the room without me, and I-I'll... I'll bounce back or something, I-I don't know..."

I can't take it. I don't want anyone else to die. I don't want to lose someone again.

"E-except you," Mercy muttered, arms wrapping tighter around Faqir. "S-stay. Please, j-just..."

She continued to sob into him, defeated.

Faussin squirmed, trying to push Madoka and Graham away. "P-please stop. I-I don't like hugs. Y-you guys are making my side hurt more."

Graham pulled back, hesitantly. "I-I'm sorry, I just..."

Faussin shook his head, sighing. Using the wall as support, he tried to stand--he winced, clutching his side in pain. Squeezing his eyes shut, he stood up anyway.

"F-Fauss--"

"I-If you wanna hug someone, go hug Clair!" Faussin hissed, leaning against the wall for support. "I-I don't deserve a hug, I...I'm f-fine, okay?! I... oh, for crying out loud, Ace, would you just shush for once?!"

Graham stared. "...F-Fauss, are you feeling okay?"

"I never feel okay," Faussin muttered, biting his lip. "But th-that's fine, because I'm used to it, I... c-can we just keep going like Mercy said?"

Madoka winced, drawing away from Faussin. He glanced at Clair, expecting another outburst...but instead, Clair calmly dipped his head and rose to his feet, backing away from Mercy as requested and moving towards a section of the room. There was a distinct detachment in the way he moved, almost as if Levi's consciousness was only vaguely aware of the goings-on around him. Madoka hovered near Faussin just in case, leaving the boy enough room to move around but oddly reluctant to leave him alone completely.

He turned towards the desk they were standing near, beginning to comb through the papers Eriko had left. The task felt draining, somehow; Madoka found himself unable to focus on searching for clues with the atmosphere so heavy.

He glanced over his shoulder to check on Mercy. Faqir continued to sit with her, rubbing her back. As Madoka watched, Faqir turned his head to plant a gentle kiss on the top of Mercy's head, murmuring something. Deciding he could leave Mercy alone in Faqir's care, Madoka looked back to his section of papers.

Something still tugged at the back of his mind. It was hard to even properly comprehend the words on the pages Eriko had left; finally, Madoka sighed heavily, placing the papers aside.

"I give up," he muttered.

The crinkling of paper drew his attention. He glanced at Clair, who stared at his chosen paper with a forced smile, his hands shaking.

Madoka laughed, which quickly devolved into a groan.

"I don't think I can do this right now," he said quietly. "I-I...I can't focus. Everything is too...I miss Yuno. I miss Yuno's exorcisms. I bet she could clear the room of all this negative energy in a snap. I...I-I miss Bonnie. I miss Eriko, I miss Braeden, I-I miss Lottimelia, I-I miss...I miss Romano. I miss Viv, a-and Finnian, and...and I even miss Xhevona and Ysabel sometimes! I miss my friends, I miss when we were all together and everything was happy..."

Sighing, he slumped against the wall. "...I...I don't want to do this. I don't want to figure out all these things about everyone, b-because...if I do, I wonder if I'll still miss them all. I don't want to miss them more and I don't want to miss them less, I just...I just want to go home."

For the first time, Madoka realized how absolutely exhausted he was. Trying to keep a positive mindset during everything that was falling apart was thoroughly draining. Emotionally and physically, Madoka was completely exhausted.

"I-I'm sorry...I-I don't know if I can still be optimistic," he confessed, laughing slightly. "I really want to...I'm trying so hard, b-but I don't know if I can...it's painful watching everyone cry. I-I can't...I can't relate to any of you. It hurts hearing how broken everyone is and realizing that I'm not...I'm not like you. I-I'm not broken. I mean, sure, growing up I didn't have a lot of friends and it was really hard for me to form deep, genuine relationships, a-and this is the first time I've felt loved by this many people in a long time, but it wasn't that bad because I've never been alone. I've always had my mom and dad and my two older sisters, who all love me very much."

I don't have the right to complain. I don't have the right to be like this, but...

Madoka groaned, burying his face in his hands. "I-I don't know what to do anymore," he said. "I grew up in a perfectly normal, happy home. I didn't have a deadly disease. I didn't have to watch my parents fight or separate. I didn't grow up in the middle of a warzone. I-I've never been completely alone, I've never been abused, I've never suffered or felt worthless--well, I guess in some sense, but that's just regular teenage angst--I've never suffered mental illness and the stigma of that, I've never felt like I'm not in control of myself...by all accounts, my life has been perfect. S-so hearing all of you talk about all these awful things that have happened, all these things I could never even imagine happening to me, I...y-you want to talk about being weak? I have no reason to cry, my life is wonderful, I have no tragic story to share and yet I still can't even keep a positive attitude for all of you!"

He felt someone embrace him, slowly lowering his arms to hug whoever it was back. The warmth was familiar and calming, somehow.

"I'm sorry," Madoka whimpered. "I-I'm sorry I'm so weak. I'm sorry all of you have every reason to cry and yet I can't even do the simple act of trying to hold it together anymore. I-it's not fair, it isn't fair at all, I-I know that...I wish I could understand. I wish I could understand all these horrific things, that I could share some deep, dark secret about why I'm so messed up, but I don't have that and it makes any problems I've had seem so trivial and meaningless compared to the suffering you've all gone through...but even so, I-I just can't...I can't focus with everyone so upset like this. It's selfish, but I can't..."

After a moment, Madoka realized the person hugging him was Clair. Grateful for the makeup artist's presence now more than ever, Madoka snuggled into his neck, sighing heavily.

"It's okay," Clair soothed, a hint of Levi's voice sneaking into the words. "...You're our good luck charm, Mado. We wouldn't have even gotten this far without you, so it's okay to take a break."

"Clair--n-no, Levi..."

"Levi's not here right now." The curtness in Clair's tone caused Madoka to wince. "He was selfish and cruel and is currently in time-out. But you don't need him, good luck charm. No one needs him."

"See?" Madoka clutched a fistful of Clair's jacket, hating how much he was still trembling. "I-I've never had thoughts like that! I can't relate to or understand what you're saying at all, s-so how can I really even fix anything? All I know how to do is keep spouting off about how we have hope and everything is going to be fine, but now I can't even do that right..."

"...That's all we need you to do, good luck charm." Clair paused. "Sometimes...sometimes seeing someone have the courage to keep pressing forwards gives others the courage to do the same, no matter how painful it is. That's what you've done for me. Even if you can't 'fix' me--I don't think anyone can at this point, h-haha--you can give me courage. In the darkest moments, you help me feel like maybe, just maybe, I might be worth something to someone. Maybe there's a light at the end of the tunnel. But it's...it's okay, it's okay to not be a light all the time. We'll get out of this together, good luck charm, so every once in a while it's alright to feel sad with us."

"I just..." Madoka sighed. "I feel so...useless. I-I've always felt so useless, not because of anything anyone said or did to me, but because...because no one needs me, and the people who do need me I keep letting down, and now when I finally find something to do I can't keep doing it when people need it most. It feels so stupid and trivial that even though nothing terrible has ever happened to me, I somehow still find a way to...to feel like it wouldn't matter if I had never existed."

Another dry laugh--Madoka let out a sob, wishing he could just stop being such a wimp and cheer up already.

We're fine. Everything is fine. You're fine, so stop...please, stop...

"Isn't that funny? I have the best life out of anyone here and yet I still managed to find a way to make everything worse. I want to understand you all, I-I want to help you and make things better, but I...I don't know how and it...it hurts watching everyone break and knowing I haven't, I probably won't, because I-I don't need to. I'm fine, I know that...ah, w-why am I so useless? E-even now, I-I got into Hope's Peak through a lottery, not because I'm anything special or have any amazing talents like all of you. At least all of you can look at yourselves and say you have these amazing skills, but I...I'm just so ordinary. Like plain yogurt. People might like it, but you probably wouldn't choose it over anything else. It's just...plain. No flavor, n-no fancy fruit chunks or anything like that. A-aha, even my metaphors are a mess. Why is it...why is it so hard for me to just get a grip?"

It's okay, calm down. You're fine. We're all fine, please...

"I...I'm tired. Clair, I'm tired..." Madoka swallowed. "I-I'm tired of being alive. I'm tired of being a burden to everyone. I-I'm tired of hearing everyone break. I'm tired of hurting, I-I'm tired of being stuck in this place, I-I'm tired of everything going wrong and I'm tired of getting hurt...I-I'm tired..."

But I have to...please, just hang in there, Madoka...

For a moment, Clair was quiet. Finally, he whispered, "I need you, good luck charm. Hang in there. We'll make it out of here somehow."

Somehow, Madoka found he didn't believe him.

---

Mercy was resigned to her sobbing at this point. Walls destroyed, she continued to cry, a mass of thoughts swirling through her head. There was no use in trying to calm down now. The feelings she'd been repressing for years now were finally hitting her, and they were hitting hard.

She'd never been so grateful to have someone to cry on. One of the worst feelings in the world was crying alone--cold, throat aching and screams echoing into depressingly empty rooms.

She felt Faqir kiss her on the head and almost chuckled. "I'm here, I got you."

Thank you, she wanted to say. I know I'm being ridiculous. I know I should just get a grip already. I know I shouldn't be putting this on you, and I know I should be staying strong, but it's just so hard at this point. I've never felt so alone in my entire life. No, I... I always have. I just found a way to ignore it until now.

Mercy breathed shakily, hardly aware of Madoka breaking down. Graham stared at the student, at a loss for words. It was as though the thief's strength was finally sapped. He didn't know what to do.

I can't...

Mercy turned her head so that she could see the others, desperate not to check out completely. She was in a moment of weakness, yes, but she wasn't going to let herself be that weak. The hunter watched everyone with tired eyes. Slowly, she began to realize that in that moment, they were all broken. Not a single person was left standing.

Her chest clenched.

I can't let this happen.

These people are supposed to be my friends. Right?

No, they are my friends. These are all my friends. We're broken, we're hurting, and we finally have the end in sight, but this is how we face it? This... this is disgusting.

Mercy clenched her fists, her shaking dying down all of a sudden.

I'm not going to let that stupid f*cking bear watch us all break down like a bunch of pansies.

Mercy pulled away from Faqir, shuddering for one last time. Wiping the tears from her now puffy eyes, she willed herself to stop crying, in need of her strength now more than ever. If she could get herself to stop crying and stand up tall instead, that would be an ideal start.

"Thanks," she said, looking up at Faqir. She took a shaky breath. "But I'm fine now."

Fine for now, Mercy corrected, and I'm still holding you to that promise, jewelry boy.

Mercy allowed herself one more moment to put herself together. They weren't going to get anywhere if no one had the strength to move forward. Someone had to step up, and she would gladly put that burden on herself.

"Just like hunting," she said to herself, cooly. "Track down your target, steady yourself, aim, and..."

The hunter stood, feeling her father's strength as she did.

"...fire. You've got this, Mercy. You're a f*cking natural, remember?"

She adjusted her jacket, turning to the others. It was harder to feel strong with her throat so sore and her eyes still somewhat swollen, but she'd have to make due.

Mercy walked toward Madoka, fighting spirit flickering in her eyes. She rested a steady hand on his shoulder. "Madoka. You don't have to feel bad. It's painful to watch people you care about break, and even more so to watch so everyone around you die. We started with sixteen people, guys. Sixteen. Now there's just us. Listen, Madoka--the strength you've had over the course of these last few trials was, quite frankly, incredible. I'm ashamed that I couldn't come even close to matching it. It's okay to tap out for a bit, alright?"

She turned, facing the papers that were still scattered about the room. "We need to get through this quickly. Clair, Graham, if you feel alright enough, I'd appreciate it if you two would continue. Faqir, Fauss, I'll slide piles over to you guys so you don't have to move. As for myself, I plan to get started right away, although..."

Mercy paused, thinking. "We should try to make this a bit less depressing than it's already going to be. Usually when I'm going through something particularly boring I play music, but that's not really an option. Mmmm... any suggestions?"

Mercy's right. We need to get through this so we can move on and finally get out of here. Hang in there, Madoka.

Madoka smiled tiredly, reaching out to touch Mercy's back. "I-I'm sorry. I-I can still..."

Oh, who am I kidding? I want a nap...I'm so tired.

Clair took a deep breath, steeling himself. "So long as Clair is here...yeah, I-I think I'm alright. Okay. If you don't mind, I...I want to look at Braeden's section."

Braeden. Madoka's chest tightened; he turned towards the desk, trying to find the resolve to help look through the papers. Is that where he was looking earlier?

Faqir cheered. "There we are, everyone. I think I can stand, Mercy, I'll just need help getting up."

Madoka migrated towards Eriko's bed instead, crawling onto it and flopping into the pillows. The others could handle things--he would just be right at the bed if anyone needed him, so it was fine, right?

Laying in Eriko's bed felt wrong. Madoka groaned, sitting up. I'll sleep in my own room when we finish. For now, just try to hang in there.

Faqir gazed at him for a moment, then nodded decisively. "I think we could all use a long nap after this. And when we wake up...I have something we can try, just to get some closure. Mercy, let me know if you need me to sleep in the hallway outside your room. I don't mind, slept on the floor before. I'd have nightmares either way."

Madoka rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on the papers. "Let me know if...if there's anything for me to do." I want to be useful. I want to be useful to you, so please...

"Get some rest, good luck charm," Clair urged, moving back to the section of papers dedicated to Braeden. "We'll handle things here. Ah, Fauss, let me know if there's anything I can get you. Do you need to change your bandages? Want me to fetch some pain meds? I hope you ate this morning, I was a bit distracted in the cafeteria earlier so I didn't notice but I can get you something to eat. Ah...I never got you that omelet I promised, huh? Well, maybe after we...after we finish."

"It's weird seeing Clair again after you just dropped her," Faqir admitted. "You sure Levi can't come back?"

Clair laughed. "And risk ruining everything again? No way in h*ll. I only started freaking out in the first place because Levi was trying to come back. The more I suppress his memories and get Clair's out, the better off I'll be, and the sooner I can kill Levi off completely, the better off everyone will be. You can just forget everything you heard."

Though his voice was perfectly cheerful and to all the world, Clair appeared perfectly stable, every word he spoke proved he had shattered beyond repair. Madoka fiddled with his apatite, torn between feeling glad of Clair's presence and feeling worried for Levi's mental health.

"In any case," Clair continued, lifting a paper, "I never knew Braeden had an older brother. At least according to what Eriko wrote here. Apparently he and Brae had a fierce sibling rivalry going on, probably over Brae trying to earn his mother's love if these are anything to go off of. ...O-oh God. No, shh, calm down. You're fine, you're fine. I'm here now, just let me take over, shh. Alright. Alright..."

Hearing Clair speak as though Levi was a completely separate entity only further drove in that the makeup artist had almost entirely dissociated. Madoka tried to convince himself to relax and let the others handle things--if there was anything to be handled. Clair continued looking through his claimed section, expression oddly forced but tone perfectly even and posture somewhat relaxed.

Just relax, Mado. He'll be fine. Everything will...ah, the others can handle things. Rest.

Maybe Eriko wouldn't mind if he just lay down for a bit...though the very idea of laying down in the bed of a deceased friend gave Madoka shudders. He settled for sitting back, observing the others to make sure they didn't need any extra help.

---

Seeing people get back into things took a weight off of Mercy's chest. Though this was only the beginning of what would be a very long day and a hopefully not too long trial, she would make sure things turned out alright. They'd insisted to so many people who were no longer with them that they'd get out, that they'd be happy, that they'd rip Monokuma to shreds, and this was their chance.

Mercy was feeling fired up. Scanning the papers in front of them, she pinpointed a section she was sure no one was eager to comb through--Fauss's. She would be the one to go through those, she decided. Whatever was contained inside she could bring up to the others at a more stable time.

The hunter walked back over to Faqir, offering him a hand getting up. She could still feel the pain of being alone thudding with each heartbeat, but she suppressed it. Breaking was the last thing she could afford to do right now.

Even now still very uncomfortable showing any vulnerability in front of the others, she replied to Faqir in a lowered voice: "Thanks, but... honestly, I don't think I'm going to be doing any sleeping. Even if I try, it'll just end with me being alone and overwhelmed with negative thoughts. Naps are a waste of time, anyway. Days are meant for doing."

She moved to break away, then paused. She stepped back toward him.

"I'm sorry that...I-I hate to ask this of you, but do you think we could just talk instead?" She asked, her ability to request such a thing surprising even her. Her brief moment of bravery quickly faltered, however. "Not right now, of course, but if everyone decides to hit the hay for a bit, I'll... well, you probably want to take a nap too. Nevermind, forget I said anything. I can just continue to search while the rest of you rest--give myself time to clear my head and quicken the process a bit. You can probably tell, but I'm very anxious to get out of here."

And get back to what? Your dead dog and the now deceased man who raised you?

Mercy gritted her teeth. That was something she could deal with later--even with the finish line in sight, there was still a long way to go.

Taking a deep breath, Graham scooted up to the closest pile of papers, though from the looks of it he seemed to have trouble refocusing himself. The thief flicked his own forehead and muttered something under his breath.

Faussin scratched at his arms, seeming slightly distracted. "I'm fine, Clair. Thanks."

Faqir placed a gentle hand on Mercy’s shoulder. “Talking is one thing I know I can do right. I don’t mind, trust me. Probably wouldn’t sleep anyway.”

Madoka had never been more glad of the jeweler’s presence. Somehow, in the course of the events, Faqir had found the courage Madoka lost. It was somehow comforting to see him able to keep at least most of his composure while everyone else broke down. Honesty was welcome. Staying shattered was not.

Speaking of...Madoka kept his eyes on Faussin and Clair, worried for the two more than anyone else. It was almost certain at this point that the two suffered mental illness--the course of events couldn’t be good for them.

“I’m here if you need anything,” Clair assured, thumbing through the collection of charts and papers Eriko had dedicated to Braeden. “Mm...seems most of what she figured out came a bit too late. She recognized Braeden’s vulnerability to manipulation and raging inferiority complex.”

“You talk like you knew this already,” Faqir commented, hopping towards a section of the room no one else was covering. “Brae and I were bros, but I never heard anything about an inferiority complex.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Clair replied. “People don’t talk about their inferiority complexes. You have to infer. We spent an awful lot of time together to...to prepare. Deep breaths, you wanted to do this. H-haha, geez...admit it, slut, you like the pain.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Madoka blurted. “Y-you keep talking to yourself.”

“I do?” Clair shook his head, plastering on a smile. “Sorry, sorry. I’m fine. I didn’t mean to say anything out loud. Anyway, that’s about it for Braeden. I can look over Fauss next if no one else is.”

Madoka bit his lip. Clair seemed to be dissociating more often than ever; briefly, Madoka wondered if that was another disorder of his.

But more importantly...Madoka focused in on Faussin, trying to regain his focus by paying more attention to the illusionist. “S-same for you, Fauss. If you need anything, let me know. Do you need to lean on someone again?”

---

"I... thanks." Mercy took a deep breath. Refocusing herself, she confronted the roomful of scattered papers.

Faussin said something under his breath--judging by the dazed look in his eyes and his lack of address to anyone in particular, it was probably more for himself than anyone else in the room. Mercy was briefly reminded of his trial--just before and after Finnian died, the magician had been doing that a lot.

Her eyes narrowed slightly. She made a mental note to keep an eye on him in case he started to look more unstable than usual. Even if she wanted to believe nothing violent was going to happen, there was no denying what had already happened and that his secrets being revealed could be a major potential trigger.

The magician slid back down onto the floor, sighing. "I-I'm fine, thanks. I'll start looking through things, too..."

"You don't have to if it's hard for you to focus," Mercy offered, walking over to him. She kneeled down, gently pulling his wrist away from his arm--he'd dug under and loosened the bandages she'd given him this morning and was quite viciously scratching at his arms. Already he'd pretty badly disturbed the wounds from yesterday. "Hey. You feeling alright?"

Even if she looked the part, Mercy had no confidence in what she was doing. She had no idea how Faussin worked--he was almost completely unpredictable to her. For all she knew, she was making everything worse.

Eriko would've known what to do.

Faussin twitched, drawing his hand back. "Fine. Didn't I just say I was fine?"

Mercy glanced at Clair out of the corner of her eye. She'd wanted to go over Fauss before anyone else could, but frankly, maybe it was better he did instead of anyone else. Clair would be less likely to freak out if it was something alarming and Fauss would probably be more comfortable with Clair looking through it rather than anyone else.

"Go ahead and look through Fauss's section," she called to Clair. Faussin chuckled, muttering something under his breath. "Unless anyone else objects, it's probably fine."

'Probably fine.' Sounds about right. Somewhat wary of her leaving things out, Mercy decided she'd take a look not long after Clair did. She hated to say that she couldn't trust the makeup artist, but she wasn't going to ignore the chance that bias might get in the way. It was best to be sure--Monokuma would have no problem filling everyone in on the parts they'd missed, after all.

"You don't seem very fine," Mercy muttered to Fauss, eyes running over what she could see of his arms. Most of it was covered by bandages--she was thankful. Honestly, the horrible scars he'd inflicted on himself were so brutal they were hard to look at sometimes. "And you've gotta stop doing that to yourself, man."

Faussin pursed his lips, fingers fidgeting.

Mercy thought. At this point, the scratching seemed to be some self-destructive habit of his--she couldn't imagine how it started, but looking at the way he was acting now, maybe part of it was needing something to do with his hands?

Mercy thought back to a worry stone she used to have. When she'd get worried or nervous, the feeling would manifest in unhealthy ways--namely, she'd get the urge to destroy something, whether that end up with her tearing the nearest piece of fabric apart, shattering a vase or punching a hole through the wall (the nurse's office was a good example of that.) With the worry stone, at least she had that to try and snap in half instead of everything around her.

Maybe Faussin needed something similar?

She thought. It wasn't like Monokuma was going to be charitable enough to have a worry stone somewhere in the hotel, so they'd have to make due. Usually, they were small, soft, and smooth. There wasn't really anything that occurred to her off the top of her head...

"You ever heard of a worry stone?" She asked him, crossing her legs. "Or a fidget toy, those work too."

Not for me, though, she thought. She always just snapped them into pieces.

The magician hesitated. "Yeah. My brother told me about them once. Why?"

"Maybe you could mess with one of those instead of destroying your arm," Mercy suggested. "Doubt Monokuma has anything like them here, but we can probably find something like one. ...You're a magician, right? You know those weird coin things some magicians do?"

"Those are easy," Faussin replied. "But I don't have any coins on me. And Graham took my cards."

Mercy hummed thoughtfully. Looking down at her coat, she traced her finger along the top button--"You think this would work?"

Faussin paused. "...Yes, actually."

Bingo. Mercy smirked. She tore the button from her jacket and placed it into the magician's hand. "There. Try to mess around with this instead of mutilating your arms the next time you feel like you need to, alright?"

Clair flashed a thumbs-up, wandering around the room until he came upon Faussin’s section. Madoka watched him for a bit before focusing on Mercy, admittedly glad she’d spoken up--watching Faussin tear his arms up was difficult.

Faqir suddenly laughed. “She knew about Ysabel. Because of course she did. Do you think if we’d had her handbook earlier, we could have avoided the next two trials?”

Madoka felt a pang in his heart. He shifted. “That’s probably why Monokuma stole it.”

“I’ll give credit where credit is due--the bear’s clever. Brutal, worse than bin Laden and Hitler’s love child, but clever.”

Madoka couldn’t help but notice Faqir’s eyes flicker with rage. Thankfully, he seemed calm overall, flipping through Eriko’s notes.

“Ha, gosh. It’s so ironic. Eriko died after the very first trial when she would have breezed through all the others. Instead we had to…”

There was a deliberate pause before Faqir spoke again. “...Hey, Levi.”

The makeup artist didn’t even seem to hear him.

“Yo, Clair!”

Clair perked up. “Hm? What is it?”

“...I never said thanks.” Faqir adjusted his position slightly to keep his balance. “Thinking back on it...three times in a trial I was ready to vote wrong and get us all killed and you had to step in and guide us to the correct conclusion. As much as I...we all know it started in yours. We would have voted you and you knew it, and then we would have all died. Then in Lottimelia’s trial, when we were all raging to get Ysabel you brought up those sleeping pill symptoms and helped us figure out the suicide. And that last trial...God, I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened if you didn’t step in. We were all so gung-ho on executing Fauss that we didn’t even...Clair, thanks for your help. You really reined me in. Fauss...I’m sorry. Sorry for threatening to bash your skull in, I was...I was a wreck. And I’m sorry for not even trying to prove you innocent. Clair, you’ve...been a big help.”

Clair’s expression softened. “You’re sweet, Faqir. Don’t worry about it, I just did what had to be done to protect all of you. Anyone else could have done it. Eriko…would have done it. Maybe I was just trying to make up for taking her away in the only way I could.”

Madoka glanced at his hands, suppressing a shudder. It suddenly hit him just how close they were to dying right at the final stretch. If Clair hadn’t dedicated himself to clearing Faussin’s name, they all would have died.

Why was everyone so determined to get Faussin executed that they’d neglected common sense? Mercy was the closest to figuring it out behind Clair, but even she seemed to struggle putting the pieces together. Madoka knew his own reason--it was nothing but petty jealousy over Clair’s closeness with and dedication to Faussin--but for the others…

It was sad how little they’d realized in their quest for revenge. Madoka looked at his feet.

“I’m sorry too, Fauss,” he said sincerely. “I’m...I’m sorry for ignoring you and not working harder to include you. And I’m sorry for saying all those rude things and trying to get you executed, I was...I was being selfish. You deserve better.”

---

"Wh-what? You guys are actually apologizing?"

Mercy noticed an immediate change in Faussin's demeanor--he perked up instantly, laughing in what sounded like disbelief. Already, he was flipping the button between his fingers, which Mercy tried to take as a good sign.

"Why? You guys realize there was a reason for you to be angry, right?" Faussin said it like he didn't deserve a word of what they said. "Everyone thinks you guys are being ridiculous. If Viv hadn't interfered, executing me would've been the right choice. I still tried to kill Finnian--if Faqir hadn't come in time to throw me off guard, I think I was so out of my right frame of mind that I would've killed Viv, too. Don't apologize. Not when I deserve every bit of hate you guys have for me."

He buried his head in his hands, continuing to laugh. "You realize I still want you to bash my head in, right?! Where did your common sense go? At least you were smart enough to try and restrain me before, but now, you..."

Mercy hesitated, briefly wondering if tying him down was actually what pushed the magician over the edge. Both he and Clair had warned them, after all...

"Hahaha. You wanna know how I got out of those stupid ropes?" He asked, laughter growing slightly more psychotic. "I asked Monokuma. I made a deal with him--I guaranteed him that if he cut me out, I would make sure there was a death within the next two hours. And there was! Like magic, right?!"

"Fauss, maybe you should--"

"Stop! Stop, stop, stop! I don't want your sympathy or your 'sorry's or your hugs! Gosh, you have no idea how much I wish I could've been executed in Viv's place! Hahaha! You guys haven't even heard a thing about what kind of person I actually am, have you? You're being so nice now, but maybe once you read whatever Eriko has on me, you'll finally find your common sense again."

"D-dude..."

"I actually thought that maybe if Clair's secret was really terrible, then maybe I wouldn't look as bad. But nope, haha! Of course, the one person I feel like won't hate me for as long as I live isn't nearly as bad as I am. He's only messed up because of other people, but here I am, sick in the head and belonging in a straitjacket, hahaha..."

His laughter quickly developed into a frustrated scream--he tore at his hair, stuck between manic laughs and cries of pain.

W...what? Did I...I-I didn’t mean to...what do I do?

Madoka felt himself shaking, hating how weak he felt in the moment. There was nothing he could think of to make Faussin feel better--nothing he could think of to calm him down--and it seemed that, yet again, they were doomed to break.

Faqir muttered something to himself, running a hand through his hair. His frustration looked more obvious than ever, but to his credit he remained quiet.

Clair trembled, visibly struggling to maintain his composure.

He kept his eyes on the papers, then took a deep breath.

“Schizophrenic,” he announced, his voice dipping back to Levi’s familiar pitch. “Seems mentally unstable, but truly means well. Be supportive. High risk factor.”

Madoka tried to focus on his bracelet instead of Faussin’s breakdown.

“Be supportive,” Clair repeated. “That’s...what Eriko has written on you, Fauss. She knew. She knew you weren’t in your right frame of mind, she knew there was a high risk of you snapping, she knew you could break at any second and she still wrote these two words: ‘be supportive.’ A-ah, geez...E-Eriko, why did I--E-Eriko...!”

Please don’t...Levi, please, not you too…

Clair clutched the paper in his hands, his breathing shallow. “My secret...it isn’t that bad, Fauss, you’re right! I-it’s not even that horrific, and yet...y-yet I murdered two people for it and...and I didn’t even have the decency to die for it! A-at least you were willing to take responsibility for what you did, at least you wanted to let them kill you, b-but I...I-I manipulated Faqir and got him hurt, I-I made Madoka and Mercy feel like it was their faults, and then I lied to Braeden and made him make a kill for me when I should have just done it myself and taken the fall! I-I...I-I’m no better than you, Fauss, please don’t think that just because...no matter what any big secret you may have, no matter how awful it is, I’m no better because I murdered Eriko just for knowing my true gender and then I got Braeden executed just because I was too much of a coward to die myself! I’m not better than you, Fauss, because I’m not brave enough to die!”

Madoka gripped the sheets, wiping the tears from his eyes. Please. Please. Please…

Clair finally stomped over to Faussin, crouching in front of him. “You...you’re not perfect, Fauss, you’ve made mistakes and maybe you’re still making them now and chances are you’ll never stop making them. But you’re not alone in that! We’re standing here in the bedroom of Mercy’s closest friend and everyone in here knows that I killed her! I killed Eriko and I stole something from everyone in this room just because I didn’t want anyone knowing who I really am and instead of taking the fall for it like you tried to, I manipulated everyone and then had the gall to get suicidal when it was already too late for Braeden! I made infinite mistakes, I’m still making mistakes, and I’ll never stop making mistakes. I am a mistake. So no matter what...even if it gets out that you’re a f*cking serial killer or you skin puppies for fun, whatever! Not like I’m any better, at least you can try to accept punishment for it while I just made everyone else pay...I-I’m here, I...no matter what mistakes you’ve made, what mistakes you’re making, or what mistakes you’ll continue to make, even if everyone else condemns you I never will. I can’t because I’m not better than you. At least you have the courage to face your own punishment. Besides, it...”

Madoka glanced at Faqir, who soberly continued reading through Eriko’s notes. Frowning, Madoka focused on Clair and Faussin, trying to figure out if it would be better to stay quiet or try to contribute.

When Clair resumed speaking, the familiar lilting tone of Clair had returned. “It’s...not easy to control. Mental illness isn’t...it’s not entirely your fault. Sometimes there are biological problems and we genuinely cannot control it. I can’t blame you for--for losing that control, because I’m...you losing everything and snapping and trying to kill Finn was all my fault. As usual. I’m the one who broke and made you think it was your fault. I triggered you and I made everyone think you were the problem. S-so clearly I have no control either. We’re...we’re in this together. Even though I can’t understand you completely, I can’t complain because I’m no better. We’re in this together, no matter what you’ve done.”

---

“N-no, Clair, stop! Stop s-saying… I don't…” Faussin shook his head, pulling his knees to his chest. He whimpered, side clearly still in pain. “Why can't you just make this easier for me and not care? I don't want to…”

Mercy crouched away from him, growing more and more wary of the boy. It seemed like he was calming down--well, not quite calming down--but the initial outburst seemed to be over with.

So Faussin was schizophrenic. Somehow, Mercy wasn't surprised. It would explain his references to people that didn't exist. There was someone he mentioned a lot--’Ace,’ if she remembered correctly.

“Just stay away from me,” Faussin hissed. “Just… I'm not worth… hahaha. Haha. You don't get it. So you know what? I'll explain.”

The darkness in his voice made Mercy uneasy. She watched him as he sat up straighter, laughter having died down to chuckling.

"You guys all started from the beginning, so it's only fair that I do, too.” Faussin paused, taking a shaky breath. “Honestly, I-I can't remember a lot from when I was still with my dad. Just the pain, feeling sorry, and… and confused. A-and Ace, I… remember Ace being there back then, too. I remember my dad and how much he yelled, and my siblings, and how they'd just watch, and…”

He laughed again, though it was more of a sad laugh than anything. He closed his eyes, sighing. “And I remember my brother, Lawrence.”

He paused, as if trying to steady himself.

“I think I was eight when we left. Lawrence had just turned eighteen--he’d dropped out of high school a while ago and got a job instead so that he could save up money to leave as soon as he could.” Faussin shifted. “I remember the day we left. It was early in the morning, and my leg was broken so he had to carry me out the door, haha…”

“I told him that dad would be mad if we left without his permission. Len just said that we didn’t need his permission anymore, because he was an adult now, and we were never coming back.” Faussin paused. “L-Len is what I called him, because I couldn't say ‘Lawrence’ when I was little. Anyway, we left, and Len rented us a room in some beaten down place. I liked it though, because it... it's always been home. Len made it cozy. A-anyway, things were kind of hard. We couldn’t afford any medicine or therapists to help me, we didn't have food very often, and usually we just wore the same clothes every day. Len always said we shouldn't have to live that way and liked to talk bad about our dad a lot, but again, it...i-it could've been worse.”

Faussin took a breath--a sad smile flickered across his face.

“After we left is when I started getting into magic. Len introduced me to it, actually, because I… s-sometimes the voices were too much. The voices, t-the bugs, and the times when I'd...hahaha.” He pressed himself up against the wall, beginning to shake. “I-I can't… everything is fine, he hasn't… he's not… w-we left, we're gone, he's not gonna hurt Len…”

“...Fauss?” Mercy murmured. “Are you… you're fine, okay? Nothing's gonna hurt you or your brother, you're fine, just… keep going.”

“O-of course,” Faussin breathed, laughing. There was relief in his voice, but an undertone of insanity. “Haha… right, you're right, how could he even…”

Mercy cautiously placed a hand on the boy's knee. He flinched away from her, shuddering. So much for that.

“Haha...h-haha...w-where was I? Len, dad, magic… magic. M-magic distracted me. I fell in love with it because it made me feel like anything was possible.” Faussin had abandoned the button she gave him to start scratching again. Narrowing her eyes, she pulled his hand away again--his nails were bloody. “I ended up getting really good at it. And once Len lost his job, I realized that i could do it for more than j-just myself and shows on the street. I-I ended up finding ways to con people out of their money, and that held us over for a while, b-but no one was hiring Len. He was getting really stressed out and I could tell, and I was t-trying to be strong for him, but I hated stealing from p-people. And they hated me too, they--sometimes they found out and t-tried to hurt us. There was this one man who…”

He trailed off, terror reflecting in his eyes. He rubbed his eyes, as if trying to erase the memory.

“...L-Len and I would get really hurt sometimes. We didn't have enough money to go to the doctor's, so we'd treat everything the best we could, but we weren't doctors or anything.” Faussin moved to scratch again--Mercy held his hand in place, willing him not to. The boy’s fingers curled around hers. They were trembling. “Things were like that for a long time. I-I got better, though. A lot better. Eventually, I was doing a-actual shows instead of just tricking people out of their money, and that w-was a lot safer and less scary. Len was still having a lot of trouble finding a job, though. No one would accept him.”

Mercy gently squeezed his hand. He bit his lip.

“Things were okay for a while. But then, the… the voices. The voices were getting really, really bad, and the hallucinations, and the disconnects and delusions and the kids at school were n-not helping, I…” Faussin laughed. “T-the kids at school remind me of you guys. They'd call m-me a lunatic, too, h-hahaha...”

Tying him up is definitely what pushed him over the edge, Mercy realized.

“...H-hahaha. One day, I-I came home from school and Len wasn't home yet. H-he was at a job interview and he wasn't g-getting home until five. I had a show that night, like I always did on Fridays. Ace told me--he warned me! He told me something bad was gonna happen at the show and I went to it anyway, because I was stupid!”

He was trying to yank his arm back now, tears welling in his eyes--determined not to let the magician harm himself any more, Mercy stopped him. He whimpered.

“T-the show was a disaster. P-people who went to the same school as me went to the show, a-and they realized it was me, the lunatic. They made fun of me from the crowd and called me all these terrible names, they ruined the stage set, and then another kid called me out as a thief because they heard me talking about it to Ace one day, and I couldn't take it and I--I broke.” He cried into his chest, laughing. “The voices told me to attack them and I did. The kids ended up in the hospital and I smashed my head into a pillar to try and get the voices to shut up, but of course, they didn't. They NEVER do! And from then on, I could see and hear the other kids when I tried to sleep that night, and the night after that, and after that, and after that, hahaha! I still do sometimes! And then the parents blamed Len, and then there were the doctors, and we had to pay for their injuries and my injuries… c-can you imagine how stressful that was for Len?! I ruined his chance of getting a job ever again, I ruined my rep as a magician, I grew more and more insane every day, and don’t even get me started on how much this was all costing!”

Faussin’s laughter was both tragic and beginning to border on manic. He continued, crying. “E-everything just got so much worse from there. A-and I mean everything. There were nights when we ended up starving, Len and I didn’t have shoes for months, we were on the verge of losing our home and the voices and hallucinations and delusions and things were getting so much worse. Truancy officers were knocking on our door for how many days I ended up missing because I was too unstable to go. A-and then, I started hearing dad’s voice one day, and I…I…”

He swallowed a sob, laughing growing louder.

“...I-I… one night, Len was coming home r-really late. H-he’d missed his bus and didn’t get home until a-around midnight. I was--I-I was out of my mind that night, and when he came in I t-thought it was our dad. I thought he was at the door, I thought he was there to hurt Len, I thought he was there t-to…” He squirmed, forcefully kicking Mercy away--his strength was surprising. Trembling, the boy pressed his back against the wall and tore his bandages off, grating at his arms and instantly drawing blood. “Hahahaha. HAHAHAHA! I KILLED LEN! I WAS SO SCARED AND EVERYONE WAS TELLING ME TO, EVERYONE WAS SAYING THAT IT WAS DAD AND HE WAS REALLY A DEMON TRYING TO DRAG US BACK TO HELL! WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”

Oh my god.

“Hahaha! It doesn’t stop there, though! I killed the landlord! I killed our neighbor! I killed them because they were accomplices and they were going to tell everyone, they were going to tell everyone I was a lunatic and put me in a straitjacket and drag me to Hell in Dad’s place! A-and now, I hear his voice. Len's ghost talks to me every day, telling me how worthless I am, how much pain I caused him, how he should've taken my sister instead of me, how I deserve to suffer for the rest of my life! And he's right, because I do!” Faussin slammed his head back against the wall, sobbing and laughing. “Don’t you GET IT, Clair?! You can’t be my friend! You can’t care because then I’ll just kill you like I killed them! I’m psychotic, I’m insane, I’m a lunatic, I’m a maniac, I need to be restrained and I need to die!”

God in heaven…

I don’t think we’re going to make it out of here.

The only word to describe Madoka’s current emotional state was “shocked”.

He had tried to make peace with whatever crazy secrets anyone might have, but this…

Madoka bawled, flopping onto Eriko’s bed. We’re going to die. F-Fauss is going to kill us if Monokuma doesn’t. We’re going to die.

Faqir moved as if to kick the nearby desk, then stopped himself at the last second and slammed a hand on the table, laughing.

“God!” Faqir reached up to wipe tears from his eyes. “Why the actual h*ll did we not just let these two kill each other?! I’m not losing all of you to a couple deranged lunatics! If you don’t want to leave with us, fine, let’s just f*cking kill them so we can--”

Clair’s hand slammed into the floor loud enough to cause a crack; vaguely, through his tears, Madoka saw he had slammed on his damaged wrist hard enough that the bone had completely shattered.

“SHUT UP!”

This time, Levi’s voice emerging full-force was not a comforting sign.

“What?! I’m trying to give you what you want!”

“Say whatever the d*mn h*ll you want about me, but you f*cking leave Fauss alone!” Clair--no, in that moment Madoka noticed the extensions come off, was Levi back?--nearly growled at Faqir, his stance oddly reminiscent of a raging animal.

Faqir laughed again, growing more unhinged by the second. “Why should I?! He said he doesn’t want pity! He said he wants us to hate him! Fine, then, you don’t want us to care?! I don’t care, then! Go kill yourself, fine, whatever! I’m not--”

Clair tackled him, hissing. Faqir tumbled to the ground, moving to punch Clair off of him. Clair moved aside and returned to Faussin’s side, his back hunched. Panting, Faqir scooted against the wall, fresh nail marks across his cheek.

“I told you to shut the f*ck up.”

The deepness of Levi’s voice was frankly horrifying. Madoka buried his face in Eriko’s bed, shaking with sobs.

Make it stop. Please, make it stop…

For a moment, Clair--no, at this point it was definitely Levi--was quiet. Faqir’s heavy breathing showed he was at least a bit terrified.

“...I’m no better.” Levi laughed--a low, rumbling laugh that swam in his own insanity. “God, there’s just something about being the one to hurt others sometimes. Did you not hear me--you know what? F*ck it. You’re not going to listen to me.”

When Levi spoke again, Madoka heard the emptiness in his voice.

“I don’t care, Fauss.”

Madoka risked turning his head. Levi had fully removed Clair’s jacket and pried off her fake chest, leaving his torso bare. Seeing the deep scars embedded in his back only made Madoka feel worse--he buried his face back in Eriko’s sheets.

P-please, God...make it…

“If you do kill me, I deserve it. After all, you promised--I was kind of looking forward to it, even.” Levi paused. “If you rob me, that’s fine. I’ve stolen my fair share of things from all the men Clair courts. If you want to hurt me, I’m used to it. I enjoy it at this point, it’s just part of my life by now. Didn’t you hear me? ‘Even if it gets out that you’re a f*cking serial killer.’ At least you know you’re sick in the head. And hey, not like we exactly have control over that. Me? I’ve dissociated so often now and shattered myself so many times, over and over and over and over again, I don’t even know myself anymore. I clearly have no qualms murdering everyone in this room considering I tried to f*cking strangle Madoka to death. Maybe during my next dissociation I’m come back to a knife in my hands and Faqir’s blood in my fingernails. Who f*cking knows? You wanna talk about killing people to avoid getting dragged back to hell? Look whose f*cking room we’re in. I’m no better and if these people are going to try to be all lovey-dovey over me they can at least try to do the same for you. No, wait, you know what? F*ck them. F*ck them in the a*s. They probably think we’re both completely insane and they’re right.”

Somehow, every word Levi spoke reinforced that he was no longer even the same person. Neither Clair nor Levi seemed to be in control at the moment--whoever this was, Madoka felt he had never met him.

No...that’s wrong. Clair tried to...she really tried to kill me…

The nail marks on Madoka’s throat hurt more than ever. He groaned, hugging one of Eriko’s pillows.

“I’m not going to stop caring, you know.” If nothing else, at least Levi’s usual high pitch was more discernible now. “Because nothing you could possibly do to me could ever hurt me. And to that end, I’m not letting these guys try to talk about getting you killed when they were just trying to let me live. If any of you sh*t-eating c*nts want to get at Fauss, f*cking bite me. I told you we’re in this together and you can tear my throat out to stop that, but it’s not going to work. We’ll get out of here and I’ll get you some real help. Until then...sorry, a*sface, you’re stuck with me.”

I can’t do this anymore.

“Levi, please...please stop,” Madoka almost whispered. “If he wants to push us away, please...just let him. I can’t take this anymore.”

“I don’t remember asking for anyone’s opinions.” Levi paused. “I wanted to push you away and you still kissed me on the f*cking mouth and triggered flashbacks to sexual assault. I can take a few screaming matches and risks of death. Not like any of this has been new to me.”

Just stop it already. Just...just stop!

Too exhausted to argue, Madoka simply curled around Eriko’s pillow, waiting for things to inevitably get worse.

---

Mercy quickly got to her feet and away from Levi and Fauss, body filling with dread.

They're insane. They're completely insane and they're going to end up killing one of us if we don't do something soon. We need to get out of here. Oh my god, we need to get out of here...

Graham seemed equally terrified. He stumbled away from the two and into Eriko's bed, halfheartedly reaching a hand out to comfort Madoka as he sobbed into Eriko's pillow.

"H-hahaha...!"

Mercy glanced at Faqir out of the corner of her eye--no, he was injured. She turned her subtle gaze to Graham, fingers curling into fists. If things went awry, Mercy couldn't be the only one holding back the two lunatics. She was strong, but they had absolutely no qualms with pulling punches. Though, at least Faussin was still injured...

"HAHAHA!"

Faussin slammed his head into the wall again, laughing madly. "I-I did promise, didn't I? I was looking forward to that, too! You don't think we could ruin Monokuma's deal if we started a different kind of trial before the 'final' one, do you?"

No. No, no, no...

Mercy sprinted over to Graham, yanking him away from the bed and whispering the word "sedatives" in his ear. Trembling, the thief nodded and bolted out the door. Her gaze turned back to the two boys.

"No one is dying," she hissed through clenched teeth. "I don't care how f*cking insane you both are, you are not ruining our chances! We're so f*cking close!"

"Hahahaha! You're going to try and stop me again?! After all those warnings I shouted at you, after all those times I begged you to end my life or tried to do it myself and you still stopped me?! No! NO!"

The magician shoved his hand into his damaged side, screaming in pain. Blood began to gush out all over his hand, clothes, and the surrounding floor.

Madoka’s heart thudded in his chest.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Please, please stop…

Levi let out a loud cry, rapidly changing to Clair’s pitch.

“Faauuss!” Clair’s voice whined. “You promised to kill me, not yourself! I told you I wanted you to make me bleed...it’s not fair if you get to have all the fun!”

Madoka forced himself to watch the two. Levi--or Clair, or whoever--tugged at Faussin’s arm in his side, as if trying to redirect the attack. Desperate, Madoka hopped off the bed and ran towards them.

“Stop it!” he begged. “B-both of you, please…!”

Levi hissed at him. “Come any closer and I’ll kill you! Just let him kill me already, I have nothing to go back to anyways! N-none of you get it, I-I have nothing left and I just want to die!”

“I-I’m not going to let you do this!” Madoka sobbed, reaching out to grab Levi’s arms. “Not when we’re--"

Faqir cried out behind him.

The cry came too late. Just as Madoka reached towards Levi, Levi released a bloodcurdling scream and whirled at him, sending a jab of his fingernails into Madoka’s right eye.

Faqir yelled out, launching forwards to pull Madoka away from Levi. Madoka fell into him, completely consumed by shock.

A sickening slosh, and Madoka collapsed against Faqir, his head hammering.

“A-ah…”

“Madoka!” Faqir screamed, cradling the boy against his body. “MADOKA! L-look what you...MADO!”

Blood oozed down Madoka’s cheek. He held a trembling hand to touch it. Time itself seemed to slow to a crawl.

W-what...I-I…

“A-AHHHHH…!”

---

Mercy screamed, stumbling backward.

They're crazy.

Faussin laughed and laughed and laughed, continually tearing at his reopened wound. He screamed things at his dead brother and everyone else in the room, tears and blood still gushing.

They need to die or they're going to kill us all. They're going to kill us all.

Graham burst into the room with a handful of syringes--he screamed at the sight before him, tumbling into a wall. He made for Levi and Fauss but Mercy grabbed his arm before he could, yanking him backward. "Don't."

"B-but...b-but they...ahh.." Graham shook violently. He slumped against Mercy, oddly pale. The thief stumbled again, and weakly grasping for Mercy's arm to hold him steady he fell back, losing consciousness. She caught him moments before he hit the ground and the syringes slid out from between his fingers, clattering to the floor.

"C-Clair," Faussin started, voice trembling. "I-I can't kill you without a weapon...can I? I-I...ahh, m-my side...hahaha..."

N-no...n-no...no…

In only minute, everything had completely fallen apart. Gripped in Faqir’s arms, Madoka went limp. He tried to reach a hand out towards the two unstable students, but the hand fell.

It hurts...it hurts...it hurts so much…

“S...stop…”

For a terrifying moment, no one moved. Madoka couldn’t even process what was happening; his vision blurred.

Then Faqir moved from behind him, laying Madoka on the floor.

Madoka moved to try and watch, noticing the jeweler spring after the syringes Graham had dropped, pawing them over towards Levi and Faussin. With a flash, Faqir moved towards the two, yanked Levi away from Faussin, and slammed his head into the desk. Levi moved to scratch at him; Faqir deflected his arm, snatched up a syringe, and moved to slam the heel of his hand into Levi’s throat. While the makeup artist broke off to cough, Faqir jammed the end of the syringe in his wrist, then grabbed another and searched for the most visible vein he could find to jam that into. One last slam to the head and Levi slumped to the floor, unconscious.

Without missing a beat, Faqir turned on Faussin, moving to shove his head into the wall.

Madoka felt himself slipping out of consciousness. I...I can’t...a-ahh…

It hurts…!

He heard the sound of Faussin’s head being thrown against the wall once more, a lengthy pause, then a loud yell from Faqir. There was a light “thump”.

Panting, Faqir crawled back to Madoka and lifted the boy into his arms, cradling Madoka’s bloody face against his chest.

“Th-there,” Faqir gasped out, breathless. “Th-there, there. I-I’ve...got you. H-hang in there. We’ll...make it through...th-they’ll be safe, we’re safe…”

Thank you. Madoka tried to muster the energy to say it out loud, but...he was so tired, and Faqir was so warm.

“G-get some sleep, good luck charm. Y-you’re gonna be...Mercy, please, I-I can walk but I can’t carry all of them alone. We need to get to the nurse. Mado, listen, I...I know how much you love these two. I’ll handle it, okay? I’m right here. You’re safe.”

Thank you. Faqir, thank you so much…

Overwhelmed by pain, exhaustion, and shock, Madoka slipped into unconsciousness.

The last thing he heard was Faqir’s voice breaking into loud, violent sobs.

---

"I--wh-why did you--fine. Fine! Fine! I'll get Fauss first, you get Mado, I'll come back and get Clair, and if Graham doesn't wake up in two minutes or so something's seriously wrong!"

...

...

...

Mercy dropped down onto the floor of the nurse's office, sighing drearily.

Finally, she was done. Faussin's arms and side were disinfected, rebandaged and hopefully weren't going to be disturbed again. Clair--Levi?--the makeup artist's self-inflicted injuries were also tended to, and she'd done all she could think to do for Madoka's eye. Harvey was, in fact, a very talented doctor, and he'd taught her many valuable things about medicine and treating all sorts of things. He liked to make sure she was informed, considering hunting was a rather dangerous sport and it was easy for something to go seriously wrong.

In the corner of the room, Graham rubbed his eyes, sipping idly at a glass of orange juice she'd gotten for him from the cafeteria. Thank goodness, he'd woken up a few minutes after fainting, the horrific sight he'd walked in on having robbed him of his senses. After waking up, not only was he panicky and uncharacteristically quiet, but he'd lost a good bit of his usual energy, the more scared side of the thief coming out instead.

Faussin and Levi were unconscious and tied down--extra tight, this time. She would be lying if she said she felt bad for not trying to save the two lunatics after Levi went at Madoka the way he did. Granted, it was rather stupid for Madoka to approach them like he did, but...

Mercy buried her face in her hands, feeling more hopeless than ever.

We're never going to get out of here.

We should have let them die.

---

---

---

Madoka stirred, blinking open his one remaining eye. The light was almost blinding; he quickly shut it again, groaning.

Something shifted beside him. For the first time, Madoka realized a warm body was tucked in next to him.

Clair…?

Honestly, Madoka wasn’t sure how he would react to seeing the boy again. A piece of him never wanted to face Clair or Levi again, but the stronger part was desperate to see him.

A voice spoke near his ear, one Madoka vaguely recognized, but that sounded completely exhausted and spoke with a rasp.

“Hey. Good evening.”

Faqir?

Madoka suddenly remembered Faqir’s acts after his eye was damaged. As if suddenly filled with fighting spirit, the jeweler had worked to keep Faussin and Levi from slaughtering anyone else and cradled Madoka until he fell unconscious.

Thank you.

Still feeling rather tired, Madoka forced his eye open again, this time recognizing Faqir’s face.

The first thing he noticed was the appearance of bags under Faqir’s eyes. A weak smile played on his lips, but his face seemed gray, his eyes void of emotion besides pure exhaustion, and his cheeks slightly sunken in.

“F...Faqir…”

“How are you feeling?” Faqir asked softly. He broke off to cough loudly, turning his head away from Madoka.

Concerned, Madoka reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. “I-I’m okay,” he assured. “I-it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Are you alright?”

“Me?” Faqir rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. “I’m hanging in there. Been vomiting almost nonstop since you passed out, my foot is killing me, and I haven’t slept more than a few hours in days, but I’m hanging in there. Just stress sickness.”

Madoka bit his lip, rolling over to peer over the side of whatever bed he’d been placed in. Another mattress had been brought to the nurse’s office, it seemed--Faussin and Levi were tied tightly to them, apparently leaving Madoka the remaining bed.

“Are you sure you’re doing alright?” Madoka asked. “You look awful.”

“I feel awful.” Faqir played with the chain around his neck absently. “But like I said, hanging in there. Before you ask, yes, I’ve been here the whole time. Put a bucket nearby for when I had to throw up again. I just...couldn’t leave your side until I knew you were okay.”

The gesture was strangely touching. Madoka felt himself smile. “Thank you.”

Getting to finally say it out loud was a relief. Madoka sighed, rolling onto his back to stare at the ceiling with Faqir.

“I-I mean it. Thank you.” Madoka paused. “Thank you for...f-for not letting them die.”

Faqir cracked the tiniest smile. “Can’t say ‘no’ to you. I can say ‘no’ to Mercy, though, apparently.”

Ah, right...the others… Rubbing his good eye, Madoka sat up to look for Mercy and Graham. Spotting the two, he smiled. “Are you two doing alright? A-ah, Mercy...thank you for treating my eye. I-I’m assuming that was you, at least…”

“It was,” Faqir mumbled beside him.

---

Hearing Faqir sound so broken was not doing much for Mercy's state of mind. She flashed Madoka a half-hearted thumbs up, feeling far too exhausted to give any more of a gesture, and returned to burying her face in her arms. More than anything, she wanted to be alone in that moment. Being around so many broken people in such a depressing place was putting a weight on her chest, one that was starting to become suffocating.

Relax. She just wanted to be able to relax. She wanted to drop the strong guise for a moment and feel like she was at home again, like she was in her bed with her warm blankets, father's presence, and cozy sweater. Was that too much to ask?

Mercy shifted in her jacket, feeling stiff.

"I..." She sat up and stared down at her hands, sighing. She was desperate to leave, even if just for a few minutes. "You guys don't mind if I step out for a moment, do you? I'm... nevermind. Forget I said anything. I probably should stay, considering..."

"Mercy," Graham said, softly. "If you want to be alone for a bit, that's okay. I'm not hurt or anything, so I can stay in case things go wrong. I mean, I'm no medical expert, but I at least promise I won't faint again, h-haha."

Mercy hesitated. "I... I won't take too long. I promise."

Graham nodded, taking another sip of his orange juice. Standing, Mercy brushed herself off and waved to the three boys who were conscious, taking her leave. She closed the door behind her and almost immediately felt relieved--just breathing in the slightly less depressing air was better than being stuck in there.

Deciding she was sick of her jacket, Mercy shrugged it off her shoulders and rolled it into a ball, making a plan to drop by the boutique for a more comfort-oriented piece of clothing.

Somehow sick of her ponytail as well, she tore her ponytail out of her hair, long red hair spilling down past her shoulders. She kept herself neat and organized because it was what made her feel strong--it was a way to inspire herself to stay put together, to feel like a leader or a champion. But right now, it was working against her. She didn't want to take charge or try and stand tall, she just...

I just want to feel warm for once, she thought to herself, hugging her arms. Her boots would have to go, too--they were far too polished and authoritative for her to feel relaxed in. She wanted nice, fuzzy slippers instead.

The girl made a list in her head: slippers, soft and cozy new jacket, and... maybe she'd get a new shirt, too. A new shirt, a softer pair of pants, and a cup of hot cocoa from the cafe.

Mercy vaguely realized how much of her composure had disappeared--her walls were gone and she wasn't even making an effort to hide the fact anymore, almost desperate for the warmth she missed so much. She missed Harvey's hugs, she missed falling asleep to the sound of soft rain, she missed her dad, she missed the feeling of sunshine, and she missed being loved.

Tears dripped down her cheeks and she made no effort to wipe them away. There was no way she could try and seek comfort in the others now, not when everyone had been broken so badly. As much as she wanted to ask someone for a hug and cry into their arms for a while, she couldn't. She knew that.

Mercy would just have to find comfort in memories instead.

She started up the several flights of stairs, sniffing.

I should cook something for everyone. Something warm, something that smells like home...

Madoka glanced down at his hands, worried. Beside him, Faqir sat up, rubbing his eyes.

“Do you think I should go after her?” he asked quietly. “I’m a little worried about letting anyone be alone right now.”

“You should probably just wait for her to come back,” Madoka admitted, observing the way his fingers moved when he could only see them out of one eye.

If nothing else, it was somewhat symbolic--he had a new view of everyone and their situation metaphorically, and now he had a new view on the world literally too. In a strange way, it made him smile.

Clair had made it this far with downright awful vision and colorblindness. Finnian, Romano, and Viv had needed to wear glasses. Somehow it felt like Madoka had joined some kind of elite club.

Or maybe he was just searching for a bright side. It was still hard to believe Levi had actually attacked him so viciously. A piece of him still felt like it was all some horrific nightmare.

Either way, it wouldn’t do to stay broken down and upset. Wanting to inject some kind of good humor into the situation, Madoka asked, “Does this mean I get to wear a cool eyepatch?”

Faqir chuckled, hopping off the bed and limping towards Mercy’s empty seat. “How about I make you one out of gold and precious stones? Maybe you need the emerald more than Levi now. ...As soon as I get my handbook back from Graham, at least.”

Madoka smiled, glad to hear him at least making the effort to be “okay”. “...I’m sorry for being so depressing. I-I’m okay now, so maybe we can try again today.”

Faqir shook his head. “I’m putting a ban on the investigation of Eriko’s room for now. We’re all still too on-edge and I don’t want to throw up on her papers.”

Madoka frowned. He had a point--Eriko’s room in particular was still too much of a sore spot for everyone. Maybe it was best to just take some time to relax.

---

Mercy finally arrived on the fourth floor, sighing.

She made a beeline for the boutique, kicking off her boots and throwing them and her jacker into a corner for the time being. Knowing the jacket was missing a button now made her like it less, admittedly--if she wore it, the only thing she'd be able to think about was how it wasn't complete.

I should get a brush, too, Mercy thought, fiddling with tangled strands of her hair. This was the first time she had her hair down in this place--not counting during showers and while she slept--so it felt a bit weird. But also reliving, in an odd way. Again, it drilled in the need to be in charge, so without it, she could finally relax.

Speaking of relaxing, it was time to find some new things to wear.

Mercy was naturally drawn to anything green--dark green, of course, as the brighter greens were a bit more off-putting. Most bright colors were off-putting to her, actually. She was more accustomed to dark greens, browns, blacks, and colors of that sort. Ivory, too, if it fit with the outfit.

She couldn't say how long it took her to find everything, but she also couldn't say she cared. The longer she wasn't in the nurse's office, the better--the air in there was somehow sickening.

Pulling her hair out from under the dark green sweater she'd found, Mercy headed for the door and walked over to the food court. Deciding she was too lazy to actually cook anything, she would get something from the sandwich shop instead.

Oh, she could already picture what she wanted--how had she not realized how starving she was until now?

Mercy stepped behind the counter and scanned for ingredients. Turkey, tomatoes, lettuce, bacon... something shimmered out of the corner of her eye.

Turning, she realized it was the collection of knives stored there. They glinted in the store light, silver blades sitting, almost begging to be used. Mercy stared.

I could just end things right here.

"No," Mercy nearly snapped, startled by her own thoughts. "No. No. How could you..."

But it would be easier, wouldn't it?

Mercy bit her lip, finding herself drawn to them. It was just a thought. There was no way she would ever go through with something like that, not when they needed each other now more than ever. They were so close. They were so close to getting out and being free, to...

What did getting out even mean for her?

Mercy's heart dropped. Of course, she didn't have anything to get back to. Just an empty mansion, regret, guilt, neverending loneliness, and her dead loved ones.

Right now, the only thing that existing offered her was suffering. So why bother to continue down a road that was bound to lead to nowhere?

She took a knife out of one of the drawers, tracing her thumb along the blade. If something happened to her, the others would break more. They couldn't afford to lose someone else right now. But since when did she ever care about other people? If this was a way for her to escape without all of the pain and stress and lack of reward, then who was she to pass it up for the sake of what should've been strangers?

Mercy chuckled. It's supposed to end the pain, right?

The ensuing silence was almost unbearable. Madoka longed for someone to speak up.

After a minute or so, Faqir stood. Though his expression was concerned overall, his eyes were still oddly dead.

“I’m going after Mercy,” he announced, moving to give Graham a quick hug. “Madoka, keep an eye on Graham for me. Graham, keep an eye on Madoka. You two will be alright, I’ll try to come back before Fauss and Levi wake up.”

Madoka played with his bracelet, distracted. “She might just need time to herself.”

“And I want time with her. Sucks to suck.” Faqir hopped towards the door, swinging it open. “I’ll try to hurry. I can hop pretty quick. I’ll check her room and the dining hall first, then maybe the fitness room...maybe the food court. I don’t think she’d care about anything on the second and third floors...you two stay safe, alright?”

Suddenly worried, Madoka called, “You too.”

Faqir hopped out the door, letting it close behind him. In the empty space left behind, Madoka watched Levi and Faussin sleep.

“We’ll still make it out of here,” he said softly. “All of us, together. It’s not going to be easy, but…”

But we can do this. We have to do this.

---

Mercy leaned back against the counter, staring at the knife as the light reflected off of it. Its dangerousness between her fingertips was somehow reassuring.

Maybe I'd see Harvey. She paused, heart aching. Maybe I'd see my mom and dad.

Maybe I don't have to feel alone anymore.

Her eyes glazed over with water and she clenched her fists, suddenly frustrated. She was tired of hurting. She was tired of moving forward and suppressing all of the pain that she felt inside. It hurt. It hurt so much, and it felt as though no matter how hard she tried, she'd never be able to get the pain to go away.

I want to give up. I don't want to do this anymore. What is the point in sitting here and suffering?

Mercy slid to the floor, growing more frustrated with each passing second.

I want my warmth back...I want my family back...I want my happiness back...

One quick motion. In theory, that's all it would take.

I don't want to hurt anymore...

Was she even brave enough to do it? She would find sleeping pills instead, but everyone would see her take them and get worried. If she was going to die, she wanted to die alone and without the voices of other people asking her to stop. This was her decision to make, after all, so why did they get a say in it?

Knife, pills, heights, suffocation, overheating...

Which way would be easiest?

D*mmit.

Faqir limped towards the lobby as quickly as his injury would allow him. Mercy hadn't responded to a knock at her door and there was no sign of her in the cafeteria--the fitness room, then, perhaps?

You're one of the only reasons I'm even still trying, you know.

His throat ached, his eyes dry from crying. Faqir suppressed the urge to vomit onto the floor again--he'd done plenty enough of that ever since Madoka's injury.

You better not be hurt. You better not be injured. You better not give up.

As he passed by the stairs, he hesitated. Some odd feeling called him towards the two flights; taking a deep breath, he checked them.

An elastic hairband sat near one flight. Faqir knelt down and picked it up, slipping it around his wrist and using the banister to pull himself back to a stand.

I'm coming, girly. Hang in there. Jewelry boy's coming.

Taking a deep breath, he gripped the banister, trying to hop up the stairs as quickly as possible without tripping back down the stairs and making his foot worse. On the second floor, he stopped in the rec room and picked up a pool stick to use as a makeshift cane.

I promised you, so now you promise me. Mercy...please don't be hurt.

---

Knife, Mercy decided. With a knife, she didn't have to go anywhere. She could stay sitting there, hair down, comfy sweater on to remind her of home, and knife already in her hands.

I give up. It's not worth trying. I can't do this anymore.

Exhausted, the girl brought the knife closer to her neck, somewhat hesitant. It was going to hurt, of course. It was going to take a lot of willpower and it was an irreversible choice, but she was willing to make it. There was no upside to staying any longer.

Do it. Get it over with.

Her hands were shaking. Her bottom lip was quivering.

Do you want to keep feeling this way?

It was so hard to do. It was so hard to follow through with, but she wanted to. She needed to. It was the best way out, it was one of the only ways out, and it was the easiest way to stop everything from hurting so much.

It's not that hard, Mercy. Just slice.

Faqir couldn't explain the gut feeling that told him to practically run up to the third floor, but his heart had never beat so fast.

Taking the pool stick allowed him at least a bit more balance, even if it wasn't ideal. There was a small chance Mercy had gone to the sauna, but if she wanted to relax, there was also a spa on the fourth floor. Faqir took to the third flight of stairs.

About a third of the way up, his uninjured foot slipped, sending him crashing back down to the bottom of the stairs. The pool stick snapped in half. He felt something else snap within his foot--Faqir cursed, settling for crawling up the stairs on his hands and knees. Anything was better than just sitting there.

"Mercy!" he yelled hoarsely, breaking off to cough. Faqir hoisted himself to his feet, hopping towards the sushi bar. "Mercy?! Are you up here?! It's Faqir, I don't like you being by yourself for this--"

Faqir broke off, the stress rising to ridiculous amounts. He emptied a pile of bile onto the sushi bar's floor, coughing.

Don't you dare. Don't you dare be hurt. I'm coming, it's going to be okay.

"I'm coming," he called out weakly, moving towards the café. There was no time to pause for a drink of water or a towel to wipe his mouth on just yet--that could wait until Mercy was safe.

Hang in there.

---

Mercy trembled violently, grip on the knife tightening.

No. No, you can't lose your nerve. You're going to do this, you have to do this to feel happy again, you...

She was so close. She just had to go through with it, she just had to end everything right there so that she could finally stop the pain. The girl had finally managed to start dragging the knife along her neck and Faqir just had to call out, destroying the nerve she'd finally managed to build up. The tiny cut on her neck bled, stinging.

Let me die. Let me leave. Let me see my parents, let me see my dog, let me see Harvey...

Mercy hugged the knife to her chest, heart aching.

I want to leave. I want to give up.

The girl broke out into soft cries, shivering. Her strength was gone, her resolve had been shattered, and happiness was so far out of her reach that she was starting to forget what it felt like. She was broken, she was alone, she was weak and she didn't want to hurt anymore. Why couldn't she go through with it? Why couldn't she muster up her courage the one time she actually needed it?

No more hurting...no more pain...no more of this...please...

Faqir made sure to check the kitchen of the café before moving on to the grille. Mercy was nowhere inside--he hopped towards the sandwich shop.

One particularly long jump ended with him sprawling onto the floor, cursing loudly. He crawled to the doorway, using the counter inside to pull himself up.

"Mercy?!"

Her soft cries alerted him to her presence. Panting, Faqir paused for a moment to catch his breath before peering over the side of the counter.

He let out a sigh of relief, which was quickly followed by falling to his knees next to Mercy, reaching out to pull her into a hug.

"Oh God. Oh God. Don't you ever do that again. H-hey, hey, it's okay, girly. I'm here now. W-we're going to be okay. O-oh God..."

I can't lose you. Not now. Not when we're so close. Don't do this. Don't do this anymore. I'm here now. I'm here...

If he hadn't already physically run out of tears, Faqir probably would have burst into sobs.

"...H-hey, I'm here. I'm just...I'm going to be right back, I just want to go wash my mouth out in the kitchen real quick," he said quietly. "Will you be alright sitting here for a couple seconds? I-I'll be right back, promise. Just don't want to be breathing at you before I have a chance to rinse, h-haha. Oh God..."

We're never getting out of here.

---

The knife in Mercy's hand clattered to the floor. She began to sob, feeling more worthless than ever before.

It's not fine. We're not okay. Nothing's going to be okay. Everything is falling apart. My life is empty. I feel empty. There's nothing left for me. I want to die. I'm scared. I'm scared of living because there's nothing for me to live for.

Even if she had the power to beg Faqir not to leave, she wouldn't. She felt so weak and worthless--she couldn't even kill herself before someone had managed to come and drain her resolve. It hurt even more to know she didn't care enough about how they felt--she knew it was going to scar the others, she knew they needed everyone to still be alive, but she was too weak.

Mercy couldn't stay strong for them anymore. She'd tried--she tried trying to bring them back together when everyone had broken, she tried tending to their wounds in Vivara's place so that they wouldn't all die, but Faqir and Grahm were broken, Levi and Fauss were insane, and Madoka was missing an eye.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I'm so weak and useless and desperate and that I still want to give up now...

Eriko would care. Eriko would have stayed strong for everyone. She would've predicted every problem, she would have prevented more than half of the deaths, and she would have done it with a supportive smile.

I'm a failure. I'm sorry. I wasn't strong enough to save you, and I wasn't strong enough to protect everyone else, and then I tried to kill myself to get away from it all like the coward I am.

Faqir glanced over his shoulder. The door leading to what he assumed was the kitchen was close by, but...

He took a deep breath. "I'll just be right there, okay?" he soothed. "I'm coming back, I promise. I'm just going to take this with me."

He reached for the knife she had dropped, slowly, moving it as far out of reach as he could before moving to stand.

"I'll keep talking to you, okay?" Faqir backed towards the door, reaching behind himself with the hand that didn't hold the knife to turn the knob. He kept his eyes on Mercy for as long as possible, placing the knife on a counter just inside the kitchen. "I'm right here. It'll just be a few seconds, I promise. I'm still right here. Stay calm, I'm here."

Where's Madoka when you need him? Come on, kiddo, lend me some of that optimism. I really need it.

Reluctantly, Faqir turned to locate a dish rag and an empty glass. He moved quickly, filling part of the glass and rinsing out his mouth while the other hand drenched the rag he'd found.

Come on, Faqir, hang in there. You can do this.

If there was a record for the least amount of time spent cleaning your mouth after throwing up, Faqir probably broke it. He allowed the glass to fall to the ground and shatter with a clang, limping back to Mercy and dropping to the ground next to her. He immediately brought her back into his arms, taking another deep breath.

"Alright, I'm done, that's it. I'm here now. I've got you. I'm here."

D*mmit. Where's Levi? Doesn't he know psychology or whatever? Where's Graham? I could use his good humor. Where's...

Don't cry. Don't you dare cry.

Thankfully, Faqir was still entirely too dry-eyed to shed a tear. He tried not to think about the line of red across Mercy's throat.

Where's Eriko? Where's Eriko's smile? Where's Yuno's exorcisms? Where's Romano's composure? Where's Viv's medical knowledge?

No...stop it, it's okay. You can do this. You can...

Faqir held Mercy just far enough away to offer her a sincere, genuine smile. "Hey, pretty girl. You're gonna be alright, and so am I. It's not easy, but we're in it together. Jewelry boy's not leaving you behind."

---

"Hey, pretty girl. You're gonna be alright, and so am I. It's not easy, but we're in it together. Jewelry boy's not leaving you behind."

Mercy fell into Faqir, sobbing. "Y-you..."

You better not, jewelry boy. I can't do this without you.

She wrapped her arms around him, his warmth reassuring. She felt broken, there was still nothing left for her, she was still terrified, she still wanted to give up, but at least in that moment, she was warm.

Her hands felt too empty. Having the knife made her feel surer--braver, as crazy as that sounded. She wanted it back, but there was no way Faqir would let her near one now, she was sure. If he'd arrived even a second later, she would be dead. She knew that, and she had a feeling that he knew that too.

I just want to stay like this forever, Mercy realized, continuing to sob into Faqir. It's so warm...it's less lonely...

The hurt was somehow amplified and pacified at the same time. The warmth was enough to make her believe, even for a second, that maybe there was still something there for her. She couldn't leave her jewelry boy, could she?

I'm sorry for doing this to you...I'm sorry for making you worry...

Mercy's breath hitched. How did he get up so many flights of stairs with his broken foot?

He came all this way just for me. He came all this way, and I still...I didn't...

"I-I'm--...sorry," she managed to choke out, feeling more guilty than ever.

We're safe now. Everything is alright now.

Faqir decided to believe in God--or at least whatever divine power had guided him to where Mercy was and given him the words to say to keep her safe. Even if one more member of their little posse had completely broken down, at least she was safe for now. At least he had made it in time.

Oh God. I almost didn't make it.

No, no, don't...don't worry about that now.

"...It's hard," Faqir admitted, his voice cracking. "It's hard to watch everyone break. It's hard to try to fix everything only to realize it's all just getting worse, and...I imagine it's even harder to think you'll have no one to go back to when we do get out."

He paused. "So...hey, I'm still willing to help with your loneliness. I have room in my old place if you just want to get out of the mansion. If not, I'll go with you there...parents probably split at this point anyways. We'll find a way, okay? I'm right here."

I hope everyone's alright downstairs.

"You don't...have to apologize. Just don't worry me like that ever again. I'm not letting you give up when we're so close to the end goal."

---

“I...I-I…”

I still want to die. I can't make this feeling go away. I'm trying to find a way to be strong, I don't want to scare you the way I just did, but I...

“D-don’t…”

Could she not even get the words out?

Don't let me do it. Don't leave me. Don't let me die. Please…

“D-don’t...I-I’m s-...” She held one of her hands to her neck, the cut burning. Blood smeared across her neck. “I-I still want... t-to die...I-I’m…”

Please don't let me do this. Please don't let me die. I can't let you down.

“P-please don't leave me,” she begged, hugging him tightly. Mercy sobbed--so many people had already left her. She couldn't lose anyone else, she didn't want to worry him, she didn't want to give up and yet she so badly wanted to just end it all. “Y-you promised…y-you…”

She gave up on trying to speak, burying her head in his shoulder again.

I'm sorry. You don't deserve this burden.

Faqir twirled a lock of Mercy’s hair in his fingers, holding her close. Somehow, even with everything crashing down around them, holding the other students felt right. In a series of wrongs, offering himself as a shoulder to cry on gave Faqir enough comfort to keep going.

He felt himself smile. They were friends now and nothing would stop that.

“I’m not going anywhere, pretty girl,” he promised. “And if you’re worried about my mental state, don’t be. As long as I can still be useful to you guys, I’m not gonna shut down completely. I’m stressed, I won’t lie, but we all are.”

Faqir was quiet for a moment, content just allowing Mercy to cry into him. When he continued, he forced the usual brightness into his tone.

“And I’m going to make you promise not to die on me either, okay?” Faqir paused. “...I’ll be honest, you and Graham are the only things keeping me going sometimes. Someone’s got to stick with you two and take care of you, so if you want to make sure I keep my promise not to die and leave you here, you’d better promise me back. I’ll be right here to make sure you don’t break that promise.”

---

Mercy nodded, clutching Faqir's shirt with her fist. I'll promise, but I can't keep that promise alone. The hurt is so much--I don't trust myself to. But I'll at least try for you, jewelry boy, if no one else.

She wanted to be able to say it out loud. She knew she wouldn't be able to get all of it out, but at least part of it. At least those two words--if she couldn't bring herself to say anything else, those were the most important. I promise. I promise...

"I-I promise," she whispered hoarsely. "I-I..."

Mercy closed her eyes, shaking. "D-don't...please d-don't...tell..."

Don't tell Graham, she wanted to beg. After learning how sensitive the thief was, she knew it was only going to shake him up even more. At least he could see her as somewhat stable--at least he and Madoka could, or so she hoped. If she could maintain her composure in front of them, pretend this never happened and be there for them instead of holding knives to her throat, then maybe they didn't have to suffer knowing that another one of them had broken.

Gosh. If he had come a second later, I would be...

"Th-thank you," she choked out. "Y-you...haha...if you hadn't...I'd be..."

I'd be dead.

Not for the first time, it struck Faqir just how close he'd come to losing Mercy forever. He drew in a long, shaky breath, desperate not to cry in front of her.

"Pretty lucky, huh?" he muttered, forcing a chuckle. "Maybe I'm the real Ultimate Lucky Student. ...I won't tell anyone, promise. But we do have to patch up that neck of yours. I can sneak some medical supplies out for my foot if you tell me what you need. We'll patch you up."

Shouldering Mercy's secret suicidal thoughts alone was not a burden Faqir looked forward to carrying, but truthfully he didn't mind all that much. So long as she was safe, he'd shoulder the world alone.

Suicide had never felt like a viable option to Faqir, admittedly. Sure, there were times (mostly very recent times) where he'd been so completely done with life that he wouldn't have cared if a lightning bolt struck him out of nowhere and fried him dead, but he had never felt it was an option to take his own life. It was both a blessing and a curse--when times got rough, he knew he would never take his frustrations out on himself, but it also meant he tended to take them out on objects or other people instead. Clair probably knew that full well by now, and his broken foot was certainly very aware--the kick had been intended to shatter the stand, not Faqir's own toes.

Ah well. None of that matters now.

No matter how hopeless things got, they could find a way to make it through. Even if Faqir had to carry every burden alone, he would get Mercy through.

---

Madoka was just about to lay down for another nap when he heard someone stir beside him.

His heartrate picked up immediately. Simultaneously nervous and excited, he turned to look at the other two mattresses to see which of their two "asylum patients" had woken up.

Levi blinked his eyes open, muttering to himself. Madoka let out a gasp, immediately recognizing the deadness in those eyes. He squirmed, not sure if he was really ready to talk to the makeup artist.

Levi's tired eyes met Madoka's. Madoka recoiled. “...Hey, good luck charm.”

Keep it together. It's fine.

Taking a deep breath, Madoka replied, “Hey.”

For a moment, Levi didn't respond. He began to look around the room, then suddenly froze. “W-where are my clothes? A-am I naked? W-what were you doing to me...?!”

“N-nothing!” Madoka insisted. He hesitated, remembering Levi's earlier meltdown when he'd yanked off his Clair disguise; apparently, no one had bothered giving him a shirt back.

He bit his lip. “Do...do you not remember what happened?”

Levi flinched, quiet for a moment.

“...Of course I remember. I lost control again and ruined everything. How could I forget?”

Madoka winced, observing Levi. Levi kept his eyes on the ceiling, seeming thoroughly defeated.

Even after everything he had done, Madoka found he couldn't give up his defensive instincts towards Clair--and by extension, Levi. He slid off the bed, reaching out to wrap his fingers around Levi's.

“Are you alright?” Madoka asked quietly.

“Not even at all,” Levi admitted. “But I'm used to that by now. Bouncing back so quickly all the time is exhausting, sometimes I wish I could stay depressed for longer than one episode.”

Madoka's eye flickered down to his hand. Absently, he reached up to touch the bandages covering his eye, running a finger along the bandages.

Levi stared at him for a moment, his fingers curling around Madoka's. “I...I'm so sorry, Madoka. H-haha, you must hate me…”

“I don't hate you,” Madoka blurted. “...I'm just…”

Just what?

Madoka finally identified the ache in his chest. He stared at the floor, gripping Levi's hand.

“I feel betrayed,” he admitted. “After I tried so hard to be there for you, even after I tried so hard to stick by you, you still...attacked me. You still prioritized Fauss over me. I-I guess I...I thought I meant more to you than that.”

Ah, Madoka...you're making it sound like you're dating.

He blushed. “I-I mean, b-because you're my best friend.”

“You do mean a lot to me, Madoka,” Levi assured. “It’s...it wasn’t your fault. I just wanted...I-I just wanted so badly to take care of Fauss, I-I wanted so badly to be there for him and look out for him and instead...instead I just ruined everything like I always do and you just got in the crossfire. I’m sorry, I...I never meant to hurt you like that, I’m just...I’m nothing but a burden on you guys. Every time I try to do something to fix things, I end up making them worse. I...I can’t even die properly. I’ve tried again and again and again and I keep failing.”

Madoka wasn’t sure if he was more upset that Levi’s voice remained perfectly calm or at the actual words he was saying.

“Geez...I’m worse than useless. The only use I have is throwing a wrench into everything and making our lives even worse,” Levi continued, sighing. “...L-listen, Madoka, please don’t give up on Fauss. Please, please don’t stop trying. He...he needs a friend and you’re the last person here who genuinely cares. You should just give up on me instead, I’m only going to make things worse for you. If you’re our good luck charm, then I’m our bad luck charm. It’s best if you just stay far away from me, I...I just want to be alone.”

Madoka frowned, feeling Levi’s fingers twitch in his grasp. He clutched the boy’s hand tighter.

“I know that’s not true,” Madoka said. “No one wants to be alone. I...I’m not going to leave you. I already promised, remember? We’re all going to get out of here together and then I’ll move in with you. We...we can stay together and then everything will be fine.” Pausing, Madoka added one more thing. “A-and maybe Fauss can move in too--”

“No.”

Levi’s voice broke--there was so much raw pain, so much self-hatred in Levi’s voice every time he spoke about Faussin. Madoka shuddered.

“Didn’t you see what happened last time I tried to talk to Fauss? I’m no good for him, Madoka, I-I just keep ruining his life. I’m just a mistake waiting to happen. Fauss deserves so much better than me.”

With every broken word, more tears spilled down Levi’s cheeks. He sniffled.

Madoka bit his lip, a familiar pang of jealousy in his heart.

Stop that, he chastised himself. It’s not like that. Besides, she already--no, he! He rejected you!

Still…

“You miss him, don’t you?” Madoka asked softly.

“Of course I miss him,” Levi replied immediately, his expression somewhere between mournful and anguished. “I-I...I wantedso badly to be able to be there for him, I-I just wanted to look out for him. I thought I could find a use in loving him and caring for him and just...just being his friend, but then I just had to go and break him and now I can never repair that ever again. He must hate me, I-I destroyed everything he worked so hard for...”

Madoka frowned, reaching out to wipe the tears from Levi’s eyes with his sleeve. Levi managed the tiniest smile at him.

“I thought, maybe if we had a friend who could understand a bit of what’s wrong...maybe if we could just support each other, if we could have someone who understood and who accepted us for who we are, maybe things would get better. But no, I just had to go and drive him into insanity, huh? Now I realize I’m just destined to shatter everything I touch. ...L-listen, Madoka, when you...will you tell him I’m sorry?”

Madoka gripped Levi’s hand. Seeming encouraged, the boy continued.

“I...I’m so scared, Mado. I don’t ever want to see him suffer like that again. I hurt him, I hurt him so bad but I...I never want to say another word to him ever again. I-I never want to even see him again in case I do something wrong as usual and make him feel even worse. I’m terrified of saying anything, but maybe...m-maybe he’ll listen if it comes from you. Promise...”

There was a lengthy pause. In the silence, Madoka reached out to brush a strand of hair out of Levi’s face, concerned. Levi sniffled.

“Promise me you won’t give up on Fauss,” Levi finally whispered. “I-I just want someone to help him.”

“Levi…” Madoka trailed off. “...I’ll tell him, okay? And I promise not to give up on him. It’s going to be alright, I-I promise.”

“Thank you,” Levi said sincerely, managing a longer smile. “That’s all I need you to do.”

Madoka nodded, feeling heat rise to his cheeks.

C-cut that out! It’s impossible!

B-but more than that, h-he’s a boy! If it were Clair it would be one thing, but stop getting so worked up over Levi!

There was still so much brokenness in Levi’s expressionless eyes, so much pain in every word he spoke. As much as Madoka wished he could wave a magic wand and fix everything, he knew it would never work.

Even so, letting the conversation end just didn’t feel right.

He took a deep breath. “...I forgive you, Levi.”

Levi blinked, clearly caught off-guard. “What?”

“I forgive you,” Madoka repeated. Levi recoiled, shocked. “I...I forgive you for killing Eriko and Braeden. I forgive you for manipulating me into helping you kill them.”

With each word, the weight on Madoka’s chest lifted more and more. He felt himself relax, offering a sincere smile.Levi watched him, expression twisted.

“I forgive you for rejecting me, I forgive you for trying to strangle me, and...and I forgive you for taking out my eye. I forgive you for everything. So...what will it take for you to forgive yourself?”

The second he finished, Levi finally burst into sobs, wailing into his pillow. Once again, Madoka reached out to wipe the tears from his eyes.

“I can’t,” Levi sobbed, shaking.

“Why not?”

“How could I? I’ve made so many mistakes, Madoka, I-I...I’ve made everything worse no matter what I tried to do. It’s because of me everything else happened. I’m the one who killed Eriko and forced us to endure all the other trials. I’m the one who convinced Mercy to tell her story and now she’s broken, I-I’m the one who tried to get you killed, I’m the one who broke Faqir, I’m the one who broke Graham, I’m the one who broke you...and now, just when I thought I could finally make up for it all by being a friend to Fauss, I broke him too! How could anyone forgive me for what I’ve done?!”

“I do,” Madoka replied softly. “...In my family, we talk a lot to God. We pray to Him at the shrines constantly and I’ve been talking to Him ever since we got here just to try and stay stable. And...a-and He can forgive any sin, no matter how ridiculous. What I’m trying to say is...there’s nothing you can do that’s unforgivable, Levi.”

Levi chuckled. “...I don’t believe in God. If I do, I hate him and he clearly hates me. Why else would I still be alive and suffering like this?” He paused. “I guess that means I’m going to hell, huh? That’s not too bad. I probably deserve it. If I didn’t deserve it, I wouldn’t be living it.”

“That’s not exactly--”

“Please, I really don’t want a sermon right now,” Levi mumbled, clearly exhausted. “...You know what? Maybe that’s why I’m still alive. I’m still alive so I can suffer more. Maybe it’s best if I don’t die. If I die, I’ll atone for my sins. If I atoned for my sins, I wouldn’t have to keep suffering. So God is forcing me to keep living so that I’ll keep suffering. Ah...it’s for the best, anyways. I deserve it. I deserve all of it. I deserve to suffer, I deserve to live through hell, I deserve the worst life has to offer because my very existence is in itself the worst life has to offer. Besides, maybe if...maybe if I suffer enough, Fauss can forgive me. It’s better this way.”

“That’s not true!” Madoka insisted. “You deserve to get out of here just as much as all of us! I-it’s okay, Levi, we’re all going to get out of here and...a-and then everything will be fine, because you won’t be alone anymore!”

“That’s not going to fix this, Mado,” Levi replied testily. “Nothing can fix this. Friends won’t fix my messed-up mind. I’ll just be just as insane as ever. Therapy? Talking about the mental illnesses I already know I have won’t magically make them go away. Medication? Been there, done that, it did nothing. There’s nothing you can do to fix me, Madoka, I’m...I’m too broken.”

“We’ll find a way,” Madoka promised, taking Levi’s hand in both of his. “And until we do, I’m not going to let you do this alone. I’m right here, a-alright? No matter what happens.”

Levi responded with silence. Madoka watched him for a moment, noticing him look back towards the ceiling with the same dead, blank expression. His fingers loosened from Madoka’s hand, making the attempt to slip free.

Correctly sensing that Levi no longer wanted to talk, Madoka moved to pull away from him and crawl into bed for another nap.

Leaving the conversation the way it was felt wrong, though. He couldn’t just ignore Levi completely after promising to stick by him.

Deciding a simple gesture may be the best bet, Madoka hopped back off the bed, yanked off a blanket, and lay it over Levi to cover him--maybe hiding his scars from the world would help calm him down.

“I’m not giving up on you,” Madoka whispered.
“I won’t give up on Fauss, but I’m not giving up on you either.”

Predictably, Levi didn’t answer, but at least saying something made Madoka feel a bit better. He crawled back into his bed and lay down, watching the mattresses in case Faussin woke up.

We’ll make it out of here. Somehow, we’ll make it out of here. Just hang in there…

---

Mercy took a long, shaky breath, willing herself to calm down at least a bit. She leaned into him, wiping the tears from her face as she continued to cry, more softly now than before. The sobbing was over--for the moment--which was good, considering the outside and inside of her throat were hurting now.

She took another deep breath. There was no pressure for her to look strong again this time, which she was infinitely grateful for, so at least now she could take some actual time to recover.

"Just need..." She rubbed her eyes, bringing her knees to her chest. "...Disinfectant, bandages...i-it needs to be cleaned, which'll suck, h-haha..."

Mercy shifted, then rested her head against Faqir's chest. Moving her neck too much hurt. She glanced down at his foot, sniffing. The fact that he'd come up four flights of stairs just to see if she was okay was admittedly touching. And again, if he hadn't, well... Mercy's gaze flickered back up to the knives on the counter.

"D-do you need me to help you down the stairs?" She asked, trying to distract herself from the comforting thought of their sharpness. "I-I... I-I'm sorry that I...h-haha. I-if it makes it any better, I didn't c-come up specifically to...to end things, it just occurred to me and I..."

And it seemed like a good idea, Mercy finished in her head, sighing aloud.

Faqir cradled Mercy's head against his chest, humming. "Hey, it's alright. On the bright side, being this close to beautiful women always makes me feel better."

There you are, old friends. I've missed you.

Beginning to slip naturally into teasing Mercy was definitely a good sign, at least. He was still stressed and exhausted, but at least now "hanging in there" was slowly changing to "doing alright".

"It's probably occurred to all of us at least once by now," Faqir admitted. "Well, not to me, exactly, but that's just because I don't trust myself to pick the coolest way to die so I'd rather leave it to the experts. It's okay to feel defeated so long as you don't stay there. In terms of getting down the stairs...that's probably a good idea, if I try to hop down by myself I'll probably fall and make the break worse again. Did I ever disinfect these claw marks Clair left me...? I'm probably infected. Ah, who cares, I'll live."

It was slowly becoming easier to get more casual. If nothing else, at least the atmosphere felt a bit lighter away from the others. With just him and Mercy together, alone, the air felt...different, somehow.

Maybe it was just a relief to be away from the responsibility of looking over Faussin and Levi. As much as Faqir wanted to make Madoka happy by keeping them calm and getting them out alive, if Faqir were honest he didn't exactly look forward to seeing them every day. Working with one wild card on the team might have been okay, but two? The risk increased exponentially. He pitied whoever got stuck looking after them.

Meanwhile in the nurse's office, Madoka sneezed.

---

Mercy smirked, lightly punching Faqir's chest. "It's about d*mn time someone called me beautiful."

And to think, they'd spent all this time drolling over the guy with fake boobs.

She sighed, Faqir's presence having slowly calmed her down. Without a doubt, she'd start thinking bad thoughts again if left alone for too long, but at least things were okay in that moment. Though, she was afraid to go to sleep that night, considering night was probably the easiest time to take one's own life.

Everyone would be asleep, she'd be alone, there'd be no one to...

Mercy stiffened. Stop it. Don't even think about it. You promised. You can't go down that path.

"I...don't think I can be trusted alone," Mercy realized, suddenly wary of her own thoughts. She closed her eyes for a moment, drawing in another deep breath. "I-I don't...ha. W-we should probably go downstairs, the others might start to get worried. And Levi and Fauss should be awake soon, I think, but... I don't... I just want to stay here forever. S-screw the others, screw Monokuma, screw everything, just...I-I don't want to move anymore. I'm tired. You're warm, this sweater is warm, and the air in the nurse's office is just...sickening..."

She sighed, shifting slightly. "I-I just feel like if I try to get back up again, I'll just fall back down...gosh, how weak. I wish I could be better, there's just...nothing to be strong for anymore. Hurt is all that's left."

Faqir chuckled. “Yeah, all of us focusing on Clair wasn't the best plan in hindsight. Though to his credit, he does have a really nice a*s. You definitely win in the boobs department.”

Atta boy. You’re getting there. ...Also, guard your loins.

He shifted discreetly to block Mercy from punching him in the crotch.

“But it’s a good thing you don’t want to be alone, because I am definitely never letting you out of my sight ever again and yes that includes when you’re sleeping. We can set up mattresses in the market or something so Monokuma can’t blame us for breaking the ‘no boys in the girls’ dorms’ rule. Madoka and Graham should be able to handle Levi and Fauss if something goes wrong, I trust them.”

If nothing else, he trusted Madoka. Somehow the boy seemed to be able to keep Levi relaxed, and at least he had been making the attempt to pursue a deeper relationship with Faussin. Besides, hopefully everyone would sleep at night.

On a similar vein, though, they would have to make some changes to the group dynamics overall if they wanted to escape without losing someone to suicide or some other method of shattering. Faqir decided to call a mandatory group meeting whenever Mercy was ready to go back downstairs.

“We can stay here as long as you want,” he murmured. “You still need the break. It’s suffocating down there, I don’t blame you. I’ll be right here until you’re ready. And...we'll find a way to get that strength back some day, okay, pretty girl? In the meantime, it's okay to not be okay. I'll be 'okay' for you until you are."

---

Mercy elbowed him--not as hard as she would have normally, considering her strength was sapped at the moment, but hard enough to hurt. Even when she felt broken inside, she would not hesitate when it came to kicking people who deserved it. It was a responsibility at this point.

She brought her hand up to her eyes and wiped away more tears, having calmed down almost completely now--well. At least, she wasn't crying anymore, save for the few that still slid down her cheek every now and then. She still felt like she was glass about to shatter into thousands of pieces, the only reason she hadn't yet being because of the few rubber bands holding her together, but even that was a better feeling than before.

Exhausted, Mercy closed her eyes, sighing. "I think I said this before, but...I don't think I can say it enough. Thank you."

Thank goodness--at least the stutter seemed to be going away now. Not being able to talk like a normal person was kind of embarrassing. Blinking a few more tears away, the hunter glanced back up at the shop counter, remembering why she'd come in the first place. She was still hungry, and if anything, pouring all of her physical strength into sobbing had made her even more so.

"Have you...oh, right..." She suddenly remembered how the jeweler had been throwing up almost non-stop for the past few hours. "Are--are you going to eat? If you throw up again, it'll probably be easier on you if you don't have an empty stomach. That way you're not just throwing up acid."

Faqir winced at being elbowed, but at least he had expected it this time. At least the fact that Mercy had the strength and alertness to elbow him in the first place was a good sign.

“You’re welcome,” he murmured. “I’m honestly just glad I made it in time, ha. There’s no need to thank me.”

Food...Faqir hadn’t realized it until she said anything, but he was getting rather hungry. His throat burned from screaming, crying, and throwing up, but that was no excuse not to try. Besides, as his stress level began to even out the physical sickness would probably begin to go away with it. Having a meal with Mercy might help keep him calm enough to reset back onto a more relaxed path.

Maybe then I can finally get some d*mn sleep. I’m exhausted…

“Sandwich date sounds good,” he offered. “Probably won’t get as sick again now that I know you’re alright and Madoka is awake. After everything that happened, I was literally worried sick over us. Like...physically, actually worried sick. Lowering that will help...ah, geez, I’m starving.”

---

Mercy vaguely realized eating meant standing and helping Faqir up. On one hand, she was also starving, but on the other, she never wanted to move again. Just one more minute. I'll just sit here for one more minute, and then I'll get up, we can eat, we can go back downstairs, and the day can keep moving...

Content to say nothing for that minute, Mercy moved closer to Faqir, wrapping her arms around him again. She just wanted to enjoy the warmth while it lasted.

When she finally mustered the motivation, to stand, she was fairly sure more than a minute had passed. Rubbing her eyes, she shifted, trying not to move her head too much since the cut on her neck didn't react kindly to that. She hugged Faqir tightly, then hesitantly broke away, sitting back so that they were face to face.

She smiled weakly, gently taking his wrists. In that moment, she was thankful that she was still alive--this feeling was sure to go away, but in that moment, it was liberating. "D-don't give up on me, jewelry boy."

Faqir chuckled, leaning to lightly kiss Mercy’s forehead. “Just try to chase me away, I dare you. You think Graham’s gonna be jealous? ...Ah, he’s got his chair, he’ll be fine.”

But seriously, Faqir, check on the guy when you get back. He needs you too.

This mental vow made, Faqir tried to arrange his body to stand more easily, wincing every time pressure was added to his foot. It would heal eventually, but in the meantime the lack of proper medical equipment was making it really difficult to maneuver.

“Sorry,” he sighed suddenly. “I know my foot being broken like this isn’t very helpful right now. God, I’m an idiot. Shoulda known not to kick the thing full-on. Thanks for your help, pretty girl.”

He wasn’t entirely sure when he’d decided to start calling Mercy “pretty girl”--somehow he hadn’t coined lasting nicknames for the others yet, that would have to change--but it had stuck now. Besides, it rolled off the tongue easily enough in relation to her. He had to find some way to repay her for the “jewelry boy” moniker; admittedly, Faqir had grown rather fond of it.

---

Mercy smirked, drawing in a deep breath. She stayed sitting for a moment more, then finally stood, stepping beside Faqir and leaning down, supporting him so that he could stand without injuring his foot even more. She pointedly avoiding looking at the knives, instead trying to focus on what she wanted to eat.

"I punched a hole through a door and a glass cabinet. I don't think I'm any better," Mercy admitted, looking over the selection of food. If things went her way, she was going to stuff herself sick and then fall asleep for hours. She was exhausted, starving, and sick of functioning. "After we eat, you don't mind if we stop by the boutique, do you? I want to get a turtleneck or something so that they don't see what I did to my neck...if they did, they'd start asking questions, getting ideas, and...y-you get it. Should probably bandage it first, though."

Her neck stung even more just thinking about the rough fabric rubbing against her cut. She shuddered, getting chills as she was once again struck by the thought that she had been seconds away from death. To think, that a body announcement would be for her... she shuddered again, biting her lip. That wasn't going to happen.

"What are you in the mood for?" She asked, trying not to think about death anymore.

Faqir thought for a bit. “Maybe we can find some wax paper or something to function as makeshift bandages? Or I could get some for you. Either way, I don’t mind--could probably use a change of clothes myself.”

With Mercy’s help, he managed to get to his feet, facing the counter. Eating the same old stuff from the dining hall was getting old, honestly--Faqir didn’t realize how badly he was craving a sandwich.

“Meat,” he decided. “Lots and lots of meat. All the meats. Probably some cheddar if they have any, but I’ll settle for Swiss. How about you, anything you’ve been craving? Ah man, why do all the best food places have to be up three flights of stairs? Why doesn’t this place have an elevator? Whoever built this wasn’t very kind to the disabled. Wait a second, what kind of hotel only has stairs, anyways? Is this even a real hotel? Mercy, I’m beginning to think this isn’t a real hotel.”

Pinpointing the nearest camera, Faqir exaggeratedly shook his fist at it. “What else have you lied to us about? Is all the water in the pool salt water or something?”

Away from the dangers of the group downstairs and in a more simmering down sort of bleakness, Faqir found it easier to poke fun at the situation again. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to keep working to escape this place--there was honestly so much to do.

It’s decided. We’re taking a vacation. A two-or-three-day vacation. We can finally go swimming! And use the sauna! And take a spa day!

“You know what?” Suddenly feeling significantly more cheerful, Faqir slung an arm over Mercy’s shoulders. “We’re in a f*cking hotel and we haven’t gone swimming even once. The pressure’s off! With the last trial approaching we don’t need to worry about getting killed, we can just enjoy being here for free for a bit. I’m ordering a mandatory vacation. Let’s go shopping after we eat. Wait, I should order the others to go on vacation too first. Okay, new plan: we’ll eat, get your turtleneck, patch up your neck, hold a mandatory attendance group meeting, and then we’ll go on vacation.”

---

Mercy chuckled, brushing her hair out of her face. “Can you even go swimming with that foot? ...Can even half of us go swimming?”

Levi and Fauss were crazy--not to mention the huge hole in the magician’s side--Madoka was down an eye, Faqir’s foot was badly broken…there was no way any of them were swimming, right? And wouldn't the chlorine bother her neck?

Gosh. He was trying to suggest something fun and she was already ruining it. Fix it before it's gone. Determined to try and keep the lightness of the mood, she playfully nudged him. “This is just your stupid excuse to see me and Graham in bathing suits, isn't it? Figures you're starving for meat.”

She took a deep breath, looking around. She couldn't help but start to wonder how long they'd been up there, not to mention in which the manner Faqir left. If he thought something bad was happening--which he was right about--he may have told the others. “I guess we should try not to take too long, they’re probably worried at this point…”

Mercy hesitated, wanting to apologize again. She felt like her lack of stability was ruining everything they had. You're not going to feel better by spouting apologies. Just...think happy things, for goodness sake.

“I want a baconator,” Mercy mumbled. “Something delicious and unhealthy. And ice cream.”

Faqir snapped his fingers in frustration. “Foiled again!”

She did have a point about swimming, though. Ah, well--they always had the sauna.

“We don’t have to swim,” he added. “There’s always the sauna. And that way, I could see you and Graham in less than a bathing suit. Foolproof!”

Thinking about all the things that were unexplored was getting Faqir unusually excited. Besides, Monokuma had said he would be scattering information in other rooms besides the newly-unlocked one, right? They could still continue the investigation.

“Bacon sounds so good right now,” Faqir admitted. “We can head to the grille and get some burgers and fries. And the ice cream place next door, of course. Man, this food court is awesome. Ooh, ooh! I can take a bath! I think it’s supposed to be good for a broken bone or something anyways. I need a vacation so bad. Screw everyone else for now, they can wait until we're nice and full. I trust Madoka and Graham.”

“I guess we haven't really been treating this place like a hotel, have we?” Mercy sighed, smirking. Kind of hard when half of the rooms remind you of dead people. Admittedly, Mercy had made a point of avoiding the casino ever since the second trial. That said, she wasn't planning on going there ever again--especially not now, since all it'd do was remind her of her dead friend and crippling loneliness. Even thinking about it now was hard.

Mercy shuddered. Positive attitude. Come on.

“So we hit the grille first, right? ...You're probably tired of hopping around, so here.” She adjusted herself so that she could support his bad foot, gesturing in the direction of the grille with her head. “Try not to touch my neck, it--it stings.”

Bacon, lettuce, ketchup, onions, unholy amounts of cheese and a side of warm fries. She could taste it already.

Mercy suddenly remembered the garnet in her pocket. With her free hand, she slipped it out of her pocket, fingers closing around the gem. She hadn't been as attached to her jewelry as the others seemed to be, but she was beginning to understand the comfort it offered. It was something more than a piece if rock--it was a vow of friendship, almost. If not that, something to hold everyone together and make the situation at least a bit less grim.

Faqir leaned on Mercy gratefully, careful to keep his arm far away from her neck. He moved to advance towards the grille, humming. Already his stomach was growling at the thought of a juicy burger.

“Granted, we haven’t exactly had the opportunity,” he admitted. “To treat this place like a hotel, that is. But now that the risk has settled down tremendously, maybe we can take advantage of the lessened stress.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Mercy fiddling with something and briefly wondered what it was. A small flash of red stuck from between her fingers.

Finally taking that out now, huh? Faqir smiled slightly. ...Haha. Aids with passionate devotion. I’m gonna assume that part worked. Hang in there, pretty girl, the rest will kick in soon. Diopside to cleanse trauma. Jasper to aid relaxation and consolation. Onyx to protect from hostility. And a jewelry boy to make you more if you need it.

---

Upon walking over to the door, Mercy nudged it open with her foot, guiding the jeweler inside and to a nearby seat. She slipped the garnet back into her pocket and glanced over at what she assumed was the door to the kitchen. She rolled the sleeves of her sweater up to her elbows, knitting her hands together. "...Geez, I haven't cooked in forever."

As someone who lived alone and tended to take out frustration in less than ideal ways, cooking was something she knew how to do that relaxed her. Chopping up food when she was in a bad mood or cooking a warm apple pie for when she felt lonely were two of many things that helped her feel better--in all honesty, Mercy didn't know what she'd do without it. She loved cooking.

"I kind of miss it," she confessed, smirking. "Now, I'm going to take a wild guess here and assume that you never cook."

Well. Mercy supposed she could see Faqir grilling burgers or something, but... actually, the more she thought about it, the more she could see him baking. It was hard to tell.

Faqir hovered by the seat for a moment, judging to see if he could still watch Mercy in the kitchen from where she had left him. Deciding he could--well enough, at least--he settled into the chair, propping his foot on a nearby seat.

"Not even a little bit," Faqir said. "Mom always did all the cooking in my house. I never learned. Dad had me learn more manly stuff instead, like how to fix cars and appliances and hold an actual paying job. Is now the best time to be reinforcing traditional gender roles? Probably not! Never stopped me before!"

Faqir was very aware that nothing was off-limits now after he made a masturbation joke the very day after his close friend died. Perhaps doubly so now that it was outed Levi was a victim of sexual assault.

...Sh*t. Remember to apologize for that later. Starting to feel real bad about calling him a slut.

"I'm kind of an a*shole," he declared, folding his hands behind his head. "I should probably apologize for the times I've definitely offended you by saying something stupid. It's not the best coping mechanism, but hey, it usually works. ...I will not apologize for hitting on you, though, all of that sticks."

On that note, maybe it was best to just give a mass apology to everyone downstairs. Levi's case stuck out as particularly insensitive, but he certainly hadn't been very respectful towards Faussin.

Then again, considering what happened last time he tried to apologize to Faussin for anything...

Well, three out of the four people downstairs would get an apology later.

---

"You make bracelets for a living. Somehow, I think even cooking is more manly than that," Mercy replied, brushing her hair back behind her shoulders--having it down wasn't something she was used to. There was a part of her that worried it would get in the way of cooking, but having it down was a nice change, and she lost track of her hairband going up the stairs anyway, so she'd take the risk. "And honestly, don't worry about being an a*s, at least not to me. I'm not exactly any better--less vulgar, though. Much less vulgar. ...God, you're really vulgar, you know that?"

Mercy was aware of how blunt and uncaring she could be to others, but honestly, she didn't really care. It was different for people she cared about--but she wasn't going to put someone else's well-being above her own, not when she didn't know a thing about them. They weren't her concern.

Why favor yourself when you have nothing to live for? Mercy suddenly thought as she walked over to the kitchen door, making a point of leaving it open. She bit her lip, hating the way these pessimistic and dreary kept popping up in her head. Was this going to be happening more and more often?

Sighing, Mercy scanned the inside of the kitchen--she could whip up a few burgers for them and it wouldn't take too long.

She headed toward the freezer, glancing back toward the door. "You're not one of those weirdos who like their burgers rare, are you? Because that's just gross."

Faqir laughed, grinning. "Okay, okay, you got me there. But I maintain that it is stil ltinkering! Using tools is definitely manly."

He paused, craning his neck to watch Mercy in the kitchen more closely. "You know how most people have this filter between their brain and their mouth that tells them not to call their friends sluts and make sex jokes about other men? Yeah, I was tragically born with the complete lack of one. If my brain tells me, 'Your best friend has a nice set of jugs,' my mouth is going to say, 'Hey Mercy, nice tits!' ...I-it was just an example, p-please don't kill me."

He thought for a moment. Actually, it had been so long since he'd had a burger he almost forgot what they tasted like. What constituted "rare" again? Asking would expose him as one who didn't spend nearly enough time grilling and eating beef. Maybe it was best to play it safe.

"Medium?" He shrugged. "That...that's a thing, right? Yeah, that's a thing. I think. Let me know if you need help or anything."

---

Mercy cackled, moving to the sink to wash her hands. "The fear in your voice is all I need. At least now you've learned the consequence of being stupid."

There was a small part of her that felt bad for hitting people, but at the same time, she usually only hit someone if they deserved it. Knowing Faqir was usually only trying to keep the mood light, though, made the feeling more prominent. ...It wasn't like she hit him that hard, was it?

Mercy bit the inside of her cheek. She wasn't sure the feeling was enough to stop, though. Again--it was like a responsibility at this point. Someone had to put the stupid people in line.

She moved back to the freezer, taking out two burgers, tossing them onto the grill, turning up the heat, and grabbing a nearby spatula. "If anything, your lack of common sense is a point in your favor. I know I'm going to hurt someone's feelings before I speak--I just don't care. Heck, if 'a*shole' isn't the right word for that, I'm not sure what is. Do you want cheese on your burger, by the way?"

The hunter hated how aware she was of the knives in the kitchen. She wasn't going to do anything with them--at least, she hoped as much--but just seeing them out of the corner of her eye was somehow unnerving. She shifted, suddenly more aware of how much her neck hurt.

Faqir let out a sigh of relief, scratching his neck. "Ha. Works for me, I guess. ...I take offense to that 'common sense' thing, though. I have plenty of common sense, thank you. ...I just don't use it. Huge difference."

His stomach felt oddly settled considering how tumultuous it'd been the past hours. A piece of him was concerned about the folks downstairs, but the stronger piece just wanted to stay upstairs and spend time with Mercy. They would be alright in the nurse's office while Faqir and Mercy took time to recover their wits.

Besides, the banter was extremely helpful to keeping him on the right path. Sure, he knew things weren't going to get infinitely better overnight, but if nothing else it reset him enough to rebuild the pieces that had broken the day prior.

"Cheese sounds good," he called. He couldn't see any knives from where he was seated, but at least he could see Mercy's hands. Would it be best to check on her or just let her work?

It seemed the cooking was keeping Mercy distracted the same way making terrible jokes kept Faqir distracted. As long as he kept an eye on her, she would probably be fine.

"And bacon. Clearly bacon. I still want all the meat they have back there."

---

"Bacon. That's right," Mercy replied. Leaving the patties on the grill, she stepped back over to the freezer and took an assortment of meat, as well as two more burgers. She knew she was going to want seconds, and if Faqir didn't she could bring the last one down to the others. They'd have to fight for it, though.

Mercy focused mostly on cooking, talking back and forth with Faqir as she did and trying to ignore any negative thoughts that cropped up every now and then. The more that occurred to her, the more worried she started to get--if they were still there even now, how much worse would it be when the air was heavy with sadness, which it inevitably would be?

She took a deep breath. It'll be fine. Everything's going to be fine. You don't have anything left, but that's okay because things are going to be fine, and d*mmit, you promised not to give up. So suck it up.

"Burgers are done," she said finally, sighing. Putting them onto two plates, she walked out of the kitchen and sat down next to Faqir, setting them on the table. She rubbed her eyes, trying to think of positive things--at least the food smelled delicious.

Faqir rubbed his hands together, reaching out to pick up one of the burgers. "It feels like it's been forever since I ate," he admitted. "Probably because I kept throwing up. Thanks for cooking, they look delicious."

Suddenly overwhelmed with hunger, Faqir bit into the burger, letting out an "mmmm!"

Finally, something in my stomach. Now if only I had something to drink.

"You think they have sodas up here?" he asked suddenly. "I'm kinda thirsty. I can go look for some sodas. Unless you want something else, cafe's probably got tea and coffee and all that good stuff. Actually, tea sounds pretty good too right now."

Maybe he was just stalling to try and stay upstairs longer--if he were honest with himself, he didn't exactly look forward to going back. Sure, he was still worried about Madoka--especially considering he was trapped down there with the person who took his eye out in the first place--but given the lucky student's resilience lately, Faqir was more interested in just continuing to take a break.

Madoka needs a break too, his conscience argued. It's not fair for you to sit up here forever and make him do all the work. If you're feeling better, you should get downstairs and help him and Graham with the others. And don't they need food too?

They can take a break when I officially declare our vacation time open, Faqir countered inwardly. It's fine for me to relax a bit.

Even so...he still couldn't dismiss the thought that the others still needed Mercy and him to return some time.

"Ah, man..." Faqir took another bite, swallowing before he continued. "We should probably get back downstairs pretty soon, actually. The others might be getting worried. I just told them I was going after you but I didn't plan to be gone for too long...we can come back up here after the group meeting. Promise. I just want to lay some ground rules to try and protect everyone as much as possible before we move forwards."

---

"Yeah, you're probably right," Mercy replied, resting her head on her hand. "Can't keep them waiting forever, I guess..."

Technically, they could, but it wouldn't be a very considerate thing to do. If it was anyone else, Mercy would've left them down there forever--but she cared enough to make an effort for the others. Otherwise, she wouldn't have hesitated before.

"I still want to get that turtleneck before we go down, though, and bandages would be nice--disinfectant is more important, though. I just have trouble seeing how we can grab them discreetly..." She took another bite of her burger, though less hungry all of the sudden. She hesitated. "If--if you want me to tell the others what happened, I-I can, I know that I'm...I just...ah, I'm sorry..."

The same hopelessness from before flickering across her face, she let out a sigh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for putting this on you, I'm sorry for feeling this way, I'm sorry for not being as strong as I should be...

"Things are going to be fine," Mercy muttered, trying to convince herself of these words. She rubbed her eyes. "Of course. Of course, they're going to be fine, I just...we all just need to..."

It's not fine. Nothing's fine. I still want to die.

She laughed, burying her face in her hands. "...I'm a mess. Sorry. Trying hard not to be depressing or anything, I...I don't want to kill the mood. How's the burger?"

Faqir took another bite of his burger before responding. “Don’t worry about it, I didn’t expect you to be in top shape already. Hey, I really did injure my foot even more after taking a fall, so I’ll just tell them I need it to fix that. No one in there knows enough about medical stuff to notice if that’s weird.”

Well--probably not, at least. Faussin and Levi had the highest chance of figuring it out, but hopefully they would be too unconscious or distracted to say anything.

“In any case, the burger is great. How is yours?”

Did it worry him that Mercy clearly still wasn’t recovered? Of course. Was he still cautious that she could snap at any second? Definitely.

But there was no need to make things worse by telling her that. The more calm Faqir remained, the higher chance there was of Mercy calming down herself. Besides, he didn’t want to end up throwing up the food he was finally able to eat.

She’ll be alright. Just keep an eye on her and stay alert.

---

Mercy sighed drearily. “Thanks for understanding. ...I’m glad the burger is good, at least--mine’s not bad either. Feels like I haven't had bacon in forever.”

Too bad I'm not even hungry anymore, Mercy thought, staring down at her half-eaten burger. ...If I really wanted to die, I could just not eat...no. No, that's crazy. I’ve got to eat something. I can't do this to everyone else, I can't stay caught up in my stupid sadness, I just have to...press on...

Enjoyment having been sucked out of eating, Mercy took another bite, disappointed. I went to the trouble of making these delicious burgers and I don't even get to enjoy them. At least Faqir seems to think it tastes good--he's probably starving, after all that throwing up.

Remembering the other two she'd make, she looked back up at Faqir. “I made two more just in case we wanted seconds. I'm… not really in the mood for another, so you can have both, if you want. If not, we can let everyone downstairs fight for it or something.”

I should've made them burgers too, she realized, but it was already too late. She wasn't in the mood to make anything else. ...Whatever. They'll survive.

“You think we should bring everyone else something?” She asked anyway.

Faqir observed the two burgers remaining on the plate, thinking. If they just cut those in half, there would be half a burger for everyone downstairs, but that might not be enough. Then again, the others didn’t seem to be too keen on eating.

“I shouldn’t eat too much,” he sighed. “Wouldn’t be good for my stomach. We can just throw a salad together and let everyone have half a burger and some salad or something, they’ll probably be good with that. I swear, some of them are so skinny I have trouble imagining them eating more than one meal a day.”

On that note, was it just him, or were some of the members of their little gang completely wasting away? Maybe it would be a good idea to force them to eat; Faqir actually couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Faussin eat anything.

A sandwich, maybe. Two burgers and two sandwiches. Faqir could whip something up while Mercy shopped for a turtleneck.

“I’ll make something for the other two,” he offered. “I can--we can get your turtleneck first and stop on our way back downstairs.”

You can’t let her out of your sight, remember? Just take things a task at a time. It’ll work out.

---

Mercy nodded, taking another bite of her burger and swallowing. "Yeah. You'd think they'd get hungry at some point..."

Though, thinking about it, she understood their lack of appetite---assuming that's what it was--to a degree. On days when she felt more depressed than usual (today, for example), food was less and less appealing and more of a hassle to make. There would be times when she was downright starving, but no matter how much her stomach growled, she didn't care enough to go and get some food.

How pathetic, she realized. Apparently I was too busy moping to worry about survival. Just like now, even.

She took and swallowed another bite, still numb to its deliciousness. "Thanks for offering to make more. If I'd thought of it, maybe I would have before, but...eh. I don't really wanna get up right now. I'll try not to take too long with the turtleneck--I know I'm being obnoxious already, so the least I can do is try to be quick about it."

Speaking of being quick, Mercy bit into her burger, trying to finish it off fairly quickly. Even if downstairs was the last place she wanted to go at the moment, she didn't want to keep everyone else waiting for too much longer. At least they were going to come back down with food for the others, though--maybe then they'd have a better excuse than "we didn't want to."

Faqir waved his hand idly, chomping into the burger. He paused to swallow before speaking. "Stop saying that, you're fine. We can hang out up here a little longer, okay?"

Besides, Faqir still had to finish his burger. Sure he was worried about the others, but it wasn't like they would break down into sobbing messes in the short time Faqir and Mercy were gone, right?

The worry was suddenly more prominent. Faqir took a deep breath. Stay calm. You wouldn't want to throw up again when you're finally getting to eat. They're alright. Mado's recovered by now, it seems, he can hold them together. And Levi and Fauss are tied up, so they can't attack anyone. All they can do is beg for death.

...Oh sh*t, we need to get back.

"Although maybe a bit of a hurry wouldn't be bad," Faqir said with a nervous laugh. "I-I mean, I'm sure they're fine. We should probably just be aware of the fact that two of them are extremely unstable."

---

Mercy nodded, finishing off her burger. She swallowed, then spoke. "I mean, they're tied down, so it's not like they can do much harm, but I understand your hurry. I guess I'll wash the plates while you finish up."

Mustering the energy to stand, she took her plate and Faqir's (he could eat without it, she figured) and walked back into the kitchen, quickly scrubbing them off and throwing them into the sink. After drying her hands with a nearby towel, she came back into the outer area of the grille and waited for the jeweler to take his last few bites before walking with him to the boutique. She grabbed and slipped on a black turtleneck. As she feared, it rubbed against her cut, making it hurt even more--she tugged at the collar, frowning. I really need bandages or this is never going to stop hurting...

Quickly grabbing food for the others, they started down the stairs, Mercy supporting the jeweler so that he didn't end up tumbling down again. Eventually, they came to the first floor--she took the lack of people screaming "kill me" as a good sign. Overly conscious of her neck, she helped Faqir over to the door, unreasonably anxious.

It's fine. Everything's fine. You're fine. And even though you're actually not, you've always been good at faking it.

Assuming her usual poker face, Mercy opened the door, greeted by the same sight she'd left--Levi and Fauss seemed to be awake now, though. Blinking, Graham looked up from whatever he was doing. He stared for a moment.

Mercy stiffened. "Why are you staring?"

"O-oh. Oh, sorry." Graham laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "It's just that I've never seen you with your hair down before. You look pretty. Not that you didn't look pretty before, it's just that...it's different? Y-you're scarier with a ponytail."

"That's kind of the point," Mercy replied, guiding Faqir over to where she'd sat earlier. Suppressing the urge to mess with her turtleneck, she leaned against a nearby wall, stuffing her hands into her pockets.

"So... you're trying to look less scary?" Graham inferred. "I... for some reason, I thought you liked being scary."

"I do," Mercy said. "But maybe right now isn't the best time for scary."

Madoka looked up as the missing two members of the party entered, rubbing his eye. Somehow, he'd managed to get a few more minutes of sleep, but it only served to make him feel worse.

Faqir hobbled to the counter and placed down a plate of food, opening one of the cabinets. "'Sup, b*tches. I have some things to say. Also I brought food. Mado, feed your psychos for me, will you?"

Madoka pursed his lips. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you got the inferior threesome."

"...If your foot wasn't already broken, I would probably break it."

Faqir flashed him a thumbs up, coupled with a surprisingly genuine smile. Madoka felt himself smile back.

"You look better," he offered.

"I feel better," Faqir replied. "I did make my foot worse, though. I'm going to get some bandages and disinfectant so Mercy can patch it up again, but as soon as we get back I'm calling a mandatory group meeting. There are some things I need to discuss with everyone. You guys got that?"

Madoka hopped off his bed, going to get some food for the others. He brought the plate towards Levi, who violently shook his head and jerked it in Faussin's direction. Taking the hint, Madoka went to Faussin's side first, crouching near him.

"That sounds good to me," Madoka offered. "Fauss, I have some food for you here. Um, it looks like there are two sandwiches and two...cheeseburgers?"

"Bacon cheeseburgers. Mercy made them," Faqir corrected. "And they were delicious, so whoever eats those better finish them and enjoy them."

Madoka smiled. It sounds like they had fun. "Bacon cheeseburgers, then. I'll help you eat. What would you like?"

He risked a glance at Levi as he spoke. The makeup artist met his eyes and offered a pained smile before turning to face the other direction.

Out of the corner of his eye, Madoka noticed Faqir hop back towards Mercy with a roll of bandages and disinfectant.

---

Mercy bit her lip. She didn't want to patch up her neck in front of the others in case they asked what they were doing, but it would be just as obnoxious to step out and do it instead. Again, she felt bad for asking Faqir to keep her mental instability a secret--that wasn't the kind of thing you asked one person alone to shoulder, especially not in these circumstances, and it was already becoming a hassle.

She glanced over at the others, careful not to show any kind of pain when her turtleneck rubbed against her neck. If it came down to it, she supposed she was willing to wait until she had a good excuse to leave before bandaging it up, but it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Ah..." Faussin squirmed. "I-I'm not hungry, but thanks."

Mercy frowned, suddenly recalling how he apparently hadn't been hungry this morning, either. Had the magician eaten at all today? Did he ever plan to?

Graham smiled slightly, drifting over to the plates of food, eyes locking on a bacon cheeseburger. Seeming to have decided on his favorite, he took one and returned to his seat, briefly admiring it. "These smell really good. Thanks for bringing them down. And thanks for making them, Mercy."

She nodded and instantly regretted it--this cut on her neck stung more and more with each time she moved her head. Sighing quietly, she leaned closer to Faqir and spoke in a voice low enough for only him to hear: "I-I don't mean to be more of a hassle, but do you think we could bandage it up somewhere away from everyone else? If they see..."

Mercy trailed off, feeling guilty. She suppressed the want to say sorry for what must have been the fifth time; no matter how much he said she didn't need to, the urge was still there.

She bit her lip, hating how vulnerable she felt. As soon as they tore her walls down, all of her self-hatred and bad thoughts just came pouring out.

They asked for it, she hissed internally, tensing. If they'd never pressed me to share, I wouldn't have had to think about anything. I would still have my shield...

Chills suddenly ran down her spine. True as that was, she had been reaching her limit--had they not pressed her to share, she would've later fallen into this mood on her own, and no one would've known to be there to stop her from ending everything. Maybe it was better they'd forced it out of her after all.

I still hate this feeling.

"Ah..."

Madoka's eyes flickered to Levi. Levi turned to face him and scowled.

Remembering his earlier conversation with Levi, Madoka cleared his throat. "...I want you to eat," he said, reaching out to place a hand on Faussin's shoulder and offering a smile. "Sometimes even when you're not hungry, you have to force yourself to eat so you can get something in your stomach. The sandwiches are a bit smaller, c-can I feed you one of those?"

Levi let out a breath of relief, then quickly shut his mouth and turned to face the opposite direction again. Madoka bit his lip.

Why won't you just say something? I know this is tearing you apart. I'll try, but I really think you should try too...

"...I was using a pool stick for a makeshift cane, but it snapped when I fell down the stairs," Faqir announced suddenly. "Hey Mercy, would you mind coming with me to get a new one? We can patch up my foot when we get there. Guys, when we get back I'm enforcing a mandatory meeting. Eat up, stay safe, all of that. ...That means you too, Fauss."

So Faqir was trying too, it seemed. Madoka lifted a sandwich from the plate and held it towards Faussin's mouth, somewhat warily.

"Please eat something," he insisted. "We could all use something in our stomachs after everything has been so crazy."

Besides, I made a promise. I can still accept Levi, so I can accept you too. It's okay. I'm not going to give up on you. One day, Madoka wanted to be able to say it out loud.

---

Mercy sighed in silent relief. "Sure. Yeah, no, I--I wouldn't mind."

Are you really so broken up that you can't even sound solid?

Stop being unsure, stop repeating things like that, and stop hesitating, for goodness sake! She moved to help Faqir walk again, moving fluidly despite her neck. At least you can look relatively normal. Physical pain's never stopped you before, has it?

"I don't really...I m-mean..." Faussin bit his lip, sighing slightly. "I-I really wish you guys would just not care about it, but I guess I have to eat sometime, huh...?"

Graham looked over at the boy--he looked like he wanted to say something, but apparently decided against it, taking another bite of his burger. Like the weirdo he was, he proceeded to stroke it, growing attached to the piece of food. Part of her wondered if he would have the strength to finish it all or try to find some way to save it and add it to his 'collection'.

She shuddered, imagining how gross it would grow over time. Hopefully, he would decide food belonged in his stomach and not in his room, growing moldy.

Faussin moved to say something, then stopped, second-guessing himself. A moment passed and he turned to the makeup artist, fingers twitching. "...L-Levi, are you okay? I-I know I...I-I'm sorry if...I'm sorry I lost it earlier, and I'm...a-actually, I'm sorry to everyone else, too. They're still talking--well, it's not like they ever stop, but at least now it's just stuff I'm used to. And Ace is being nice, so..."

Mercy remembered how Eriko had deemed the boy schizophrenic--when he said "they," she could only assume he was he referring to the 'voices' in his head.

"...S-sorry, is talking about them weird? I-if it freaks you guys out or s-something, I'll stop, I-I swear. I-I'm sorry. A-ah, I'm really sorry..." Faussin shifted, wincing. No doubt his side was bothering, especially while tied down to that mattress so tightly.

Madoka glanced over at Levi, silently begging him to speak up.

The makeup artist barely even moved, keeping his gaze stuck on the opposite wall. Madoka bit his lip.

Come on, Levi. Say something. Everyone is calm now, so it's okay...

Still no response. Swallowing, Madoka spoke up.

"L-Levi, Fauss is trying to talk to you."

"I know."

It was the only response Levi offered. Madoka wasn't sure what was worse--the fact that he heard Faussin and deliberately ignored him, or the pure anguish that still hung in every word he spoke.

Madoka thought back to the conversation he'd had with Levi earlier. Lowering his voice, he said to Faussin, "Levi told me to tell you he's sorry too."

I know you miss him. Ah, there must be something I can do...

"Aren't you going to respond?" Madoka ventured, raising his voice so Levi could hear him.

Levi offered no response. Madoka took a deep breath.

"Y-you were just talking earlier. It's okay, everyone is calm now, so you don't have to..."

Levi scoffed, releasing a bitter chuckle.

"I know," he repeated, the self-loathing almost tangible in his voice. Madoka let out a sigh.

"Come on, please..." Madoka trailed off. "Levi, it's...it's okay."

"You're right." Levi paused. "And I'm going to make sure it stays that way."

I mean it's alright to talk to us. To talk to Fauss. Levi, come on, please...

Deciding it was a lost cause for now, Madoka returned his attention to Faussin. "...I-I'm not mad or anything, don't worry. I forgive you. A-and it's alright to talk about...about the voices, I guess? I guess I'm a little curious as to how that works anyway, s-so I don't mind."

Faqir mumbled something, fiddling with the chain around his neck.

---

"We should get out of here before they get worse," Faqir mumbled to her.

Mercy rubbed her arms, gaze lingering on the two mentally unstable boys. She could feel a tension rising in the air, and afraid that the air would feel even more suffocating than it did before, she nodded. "A-agreed."

Faussin stared at Levi, seeming briefly confused. Expression slowly shifting and beginning to border on panic, he looked between Levi and Madoka, squirming--he whispered something to the lucky student, then back at Levi, biting his lip in pain as he moved despite his injury.

Breaking her stare at the magician, Mercy stepped toward the door, as if gesturing for Faqir to step with her so they could get out of there. Part of her felt bad for leaving whatever drama was about to break out for Madoka and Graham to solve, but the last place she wanted to be was in there, and she had a feeling Faqir felt the same way. He'd been throwing up nonstop not even an hour before, after all--after finally getting to eat, surely he didn't want to start up again.

"We're..." Mercy paused, finding the courage to announce what was essentially them chickening out of whatever this was. "We're going to go run and get Faqir a new pool stick, so we'll be back soon, probably."

The 'probably' she'd stuck on the end had been on purpose--if things went her way, she wouldn't have to step back into this room ever again. But of course, that wasn't fair to the others, so...

Since when did I care about what they think? She thought to herself, frowning slightly. ...Guess I'm soft now. Great.

Graham seemed like he wanted to say something, but he waved instead, plastering on what she could tell was a fake smile.

"I...d-did I say something wrong? I-Is he mad at me? I-I'm sorry, I-I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to...o-oh no..."

Madoka fidgeted, staring at the sandwich in his hand. He slowly placed it back on the plate and waved a “goodbye” to Mercy and Faqir.

Well, he thought, it’s not like Levi ever told me not to explain what he’s feeling, so it’s fine, right? I don’t want to watch these two lose each other.

“It’s not you,” Madoka insisted, quietly enough that Levi couldn’t hear him. “He’s just...he’s worried about you. He knows he’s been making you snap and he feels responsible for that, s-so he’s trying not to make that happen again. He’s just doing what he thinks he needs to do to protect you, because he cares about you so much.”

Why is saying this so painful? Madoka clenched his fist around the apatite bracelet, hating the jealous heat in his chest. Stop that, Madoka. All three of you can be friends, so don’t get so jealous. Besides, Levi doesn’t even like guys. It’s not like it’s romantic.

...but besides that, Madoka, you don’t like guys either! So it’s definitely fine!

He sighed, already annoyed by his ongoing crisis over his feelings for Levi.

“A-anyway...please don’t think you did anything wrong. I’m going to try to get him to talk to you, because I know he wants to. He’s just...he doesn’t know what to do anymore.”

I don’t know what to do anymore either. Ah, what a pain…

---

Mercy walked out of the room, sighing in slight relief as the door closed behind her and Faqir. She glanced in the direction of the lobby, moving forward. "Thanks. I guess we should probably get a pool stick anyway since it'll be weird if we come back without one."

She paused, glancing back. "...Madoka can handle whatever's happening, right? He has a better chance than any of us do, I mean. We might just make it worse by being in there."

Oh, stop making excuses. You left because you're selfish.

With her free hand, Mercy pulled down the collar of her shirt, holding it away from her neck so it didn't bother her cut as much. She tried to think of something to talk about so she didn't have to think about it as much. The first things that popped into her mind were, perhaps unsurprisingly, several self-deprecating thoughts that she promptly decided were not good conversation starters.

"Is your stomach alright?" She asked. It wasn't the best, but at least it had the potential to lead into something else. Of all the people here, Faqir was probably the best at carrying a conversation than anyone else, save for maybe Graham.[color=] "I can walk slower if you're nauseous. I'd rather take longer than get puked on."

---

---

---

"I-I..." Faussin looked back over at Levi, the sight of him downright refusing to talk to him incredibly disheartening. He'd finally found someone who actually made him feel a little less worthless, and now, hearing Madoka's explanation, he felt even worse.

It was relieving to know that the makeup artist wasn't mad at him, at least, but knowing that things were his fault anyway worsened the weight on his chest. Faussin had lost his mind--again--because he wasn't stable enough to stay in control. Of course, it wasn't a surprise at this point, but in ways that made it even worse. He should have been prepared, he should have braced himself, he should have known...

"I'm sorry," he whispered, voice hardly audible. "I-I'm sorry...I don't..."

Why did he want Levi to talk to him so badly? This was what he asked for. He asked for the boy to ignore him, to go away, to stop caring and to leave him alone so that he didn't have to be hurt, and it was finally happening--not for the reasons Faussin would like, but it was happening nonetheless--and he wanted him back?

One of the most frustrating things about being tied up was that he couldn't scratch. If he could just scratch, then maybe he could just scratch the feelings away, using the pain as punishment for his heart hurting so much.

"D-don't make him...it's okay, h-he doesn't--it's better th-this way. Right?" He asked softly, talking so that Levi couldn't hear. He didn't want to cause him any more pain. Tears welled in his eyes and he tried to fight them back, clenching his fists. "I-It's...it's better..."

You killed me, Romano died, and Levi is ignoring you... I guess you're just not meant to have friends, Len sighed, his words like a knife in Faussin's heart.

Faqir chuckled, limping after Mercy. “In all honesty, I actually did kinda want a new one. It helped while I had it since we don’t have crutches.”

He paused, admittedly worried about leaving the others behind. They would probably be fine--Madoka was in a good frame of mind and was the best equipped to deal with Faussin and Levi, and Graham was there if they needed him--but it was still worrying to say the least. They could hurry back.

Stay calm. Everyone is safe.

His stomach wasn’t in the best shape, but escaping before things could get any worse was helpful. “I’m alright, don’t worry. A little worried, but not stressed anymore. As long as nothing goes horribly wrong, I think I’m good. We can hurry.”

---

Ah, you messed up…

He hated to think about it, but if Madoka were honest, he saw why Levi had completely sworn off talking to Faussin--it was incredibly difficult to predict what would actually make him feel better instead of worse.

Even so, Madoka had made a promise. He took a deep breath, smiling gently at Faussin.

“You don’t have to be sorry, and it’s not better this way,” he insisted. “Both of you are miserable without each other. I’ll just be the go-between until I can fix this, okay? We’ll be alright, Fauss. I’ll be right here with you.”

Don’t give up. If nothing else, you have to try. You made a promise, so just try.

Madoka glanced at Levi, noticing that he had actually turned to watch the two. His expression was concerned; upon seeing Madoka’s face, he turned away again, shifting beneath the ropes.

Madoka took another deep breath, again offering the sandwich to Faussin. “It’s going to be alright. Things...things are just rough right now, but I know how much you two care about each other, so I’m sure one day you’ll be back to normal. We’re all just...confused, right now. Until then, I’ll take care of you, okay? Can you eat?”

Don’t let him be alone, Madoka. Swallow that jealousy, he needs you.

---

Mercy fell back to help Faqir walk, wary of him falling again. Thinking about it, she would probably check his foot while they were up there, just in case he'd managed to make it worse than before. "Alright. I guess I could carry you again, but I--well, I don't doubt that I have the strength, but I'm kind of exhausted. It'd probably make your stomach worse, anyway."

Thankfully, the rec room was only on the second floor, so they wouldn't have to travel nearly as many stairs as before. Going down was probably worse than going up, though--that being said, they couldn't go up without coming back down, so that was a bridge they'd have to cross anyway. They managed well enough before, so this time wouldn't be any different, she supposed.

The second floor...unsurprisingly, she wasn't looking forward to going up there. Usually, it would be fine, but in a mood like this being reminded of her dead friend was less than ideal. She took a deep breath. It wasn't like they were going into the casino or anything, so it was probably fine. All it really did was remind her of things she didn't want to remember.

---

---

---

Faussin sniffed, trying his hardest not to break down. He'd cried far too many times to start again--he had finally found some semblance of sanity in the ocean of darkness that was his mind, and he was not going to lose it, and certainly not over something that he'd wanted in the first place.

Madoka's voice and reassurances were soothing, admittedly. His hand twitched--there was a part of him that wanted someone to hold his hand like Len used to when the voices got really bad, but he couldn't even if he wanted to. Besides, it was a childish thought.

Taking a deep breath, he ignored the pain from his pounding headache and torn-up side, trying to be strong. I'm not going to lose it again. I'm not going to listen to Len, or Ace, or any of the others because they're...they're not real. It's all in my head and I'm in charge.

They're not real. As much as he wanted to, he didn't fully believe those words, but he would try hard to regardless.

"Th-thanks," he said, offering Madoka a weak smile. "I-I'm sorry that I...I-I'm trying not to...I-I'm trying to stay okay this time. A-and I'm sorry, but it's just that I-I'm not really feeling well enough to eat r-right now, so..."

Faussin was hungry, but he was also nauseous, exhausted--both physically and mentally, in lots of pain, and generally did not feel well enough to stuff a sandwich down his throat.

Faqir nodded, grateful for Mercy’s assistance. He didn’t want to say it out loud and worry her, but ever since taking the fall that further damaged his foot earlier it had been hurting more intensely than ever. Every movement sent a shooting pain up his leg.

It wasn’t absolutely excruciating, at least. Faqir could push through some physical pain for a while--he’d always been particularly resilient in that way. Sure he would chug a bottle of pain meds the second they got back, most likely--after the meeting, probably, he didn't want to worry anyone--but he could survive until getting back.

He suddenly remembered just where they were headed. Some of the clues to unlocking Eriko’s murder were in the rec room if Faqir remembered correctly.

He glanced down, suddenly remembering the hairband he’d put around his wrist. Thoughtful, he removed it, passing it to Mercy.

“Here, this is yours,” he said. “Found it on the stairs while I was looking for you. How about this, put that on your wrist and whenever you start thinking dark thoughts, give it a little snap. It might help keep your head clear. I can take care of your neck at the stairs so we don’t have to spend as long up on the second floor.”

---

Madoka let out a sigh of relief, placing the sandwich back on the plate. At least Faussin was talking a bit more now, and hearing him try so hard to get back on track was uplifting. Madoka scratched briefly at the bandages over his damaged eye, admittedly still shocked by how little of it he really felt.

A shudder traveled down his spine. Madoka took a deep breath, trying to focus on Faussin instead of his own missing eye. He hadn’t really taken time to dwell on it yet and he wasn’t going to start now--there was work to be done.

“You can eat later, I guess,” Madoka said, trying to keep his voice cheerful. “But rest assured, I will make sure you eat eventually. I’ll save a sandwich for you. Um, are your injuries okay? How is your side doing? A-ah, s-sorry if I’m being pushy or invasive or anything…”

One more try couldn’t hurt, right?

“Levi,” he called, “do you think you could look over Fauss from that side? I-I don’t want to wander around too much…”

Levi was quiet for a moment.

“I broke my wrist,” he finally murmured, completely ignoring the question. “I can’t move it anymore. Do you think we should amputate?”

“No one is amputating anything,” Madoka said quickly. “I-I can look over you when I finish with Fauss…”

“Look.”

You’ll never “look” at anything the same way ever again and it’s his fault.

Madoka shook his head to clear the thought, ashamed it had come to mind. Levi was his friend, right? Even if things were rough, they were still friends.

Friends don’t gauge friend’s eyes out.

Ah, come on, you’re fine with it…

Aren’t you?

Determined not to think about it, Madoka focused in on Faussin, examining him for signs of any aggravated injuries. He had already forgiven Levi for taking out his eye, so he could process through that more fully later. Right now, Faussin still needed him.

---

Mercy took the hairband and slid it onto her wrist, thankful. "Thank you. I'll try that."

She smirked dryly--there was a part of her that didn't want to do what he'd suggested, solely because she didn't want to worry him when he realized just how many dark thoughts she was thinking. It was as though she couldn't go more than a few minutes without being reminded of how exhausted she was of living.

The pain of being completely alone, knowing that she had nothing to come back to, knowing she'd failed the few people she had left, and that heavy sadness that filled up her lungs the moment she began to think about it all--it was suffocating. It made her want to suffocate.

Mercy could only imagine the man who'd raised her as he sat on his deathbed. The overly bright hospital lights, white walls, the steady beeping of machines, the smell of disinfectant, and sound of doctors being called over the wall-mounted speakers...and Harvey, sitting all alone, the girl who was like a daughter to him too afraid and selfish to answer his calls and hold his hand in his final moments.

What had she done? Why was she such a terrible person?

She felt the tears come to her eyes before she could stop them. Looking away, she quickly brought her hand up to her face, wiping them away. Taking Faqir's advice, she used her teeth to pull the hairband back and let it snap against her wrist. You can't do this. Not right now. D*mmit, d*mmit, d*mmit...

Mercy suppressed her cries, throat aching in protest. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop...

As much as she tried to derail her thoughts, she couldn't get the picture of him laying in a hospital bed all alone, breathing hitched and hand empty. Did he feel alone as she felt? Or was it even worse for him?

Suppressing her cries grew harder. She shuddered. Stop. Oh please, Mercy, j-just stop...

She felt herself break again, crying softly.

I love you. I want so badly to tell you how much I love you, but I...

---

---

---

"I-it hurts to breathe and my head really, really hurts, b-but I'll be okay," Faussin replied, laughing nervously--he suddenly cried out in pain, the movement aggravating his side. The pressure of the ropes binding him to the mattress certainly wasn't helping. "A-and you're being fine, i-it's okay. Th-thanks for trying to help."

Faussin clenched his fists, trying to stay strong. Hearing Levi completely ignore him the way he did hurt, but that was something he could deal with, right? Though, the more he thought about it, the worse he felt. Madoka was being nice in the moment, but there was no telling how long that'd last, and he was sure everyone else was at least extremely wary of him if they didn't hate him completely. Without Levi, Faussin had no one.

Was that why it hurt so much? After hearing all of those promises about how Levi was going to be there for him, how things were going to be alright and that he was never going to stop trying, and now...

I'm sorry...

He took a deep breath, wincing from the pain. That was okay because that's how he wanted things to be. He'd wanted Levi to stop trying, he wanted to be left alone, he--Faussin suddenly remembered the mentality he had at the beginning of this mess: don't get close to anyone.

I was weak, so I couldn't commit, Faussin realized, remembering how nice it felt to be cared about by another person. His fingers twitched, the want for a hand to hold or even a hug suddenly growing. It was true that he didn't like hugs a majority of the time, but there were some exceptions. His dislike of hugs was more about him not liking being touched without permission than anything. Being touched without warning was unnerving, creepy, and it reminded him of the times he'd see and feel bugs crawling all over him.

He shuddered, remembering the feeling of their little legs scampering all over his skin. If anything, the memory had greatly supressed his want for a hug.

"I hate bugs," he muttered under his breath.

Wordlessly, Faqir reached out to pull Mercy into a hug. He remained silent for the time being, honestly unsure of what to say that could make her feel better.

Alright, so the wristband thing didn’t work. New plan. What usually helps you when you start thinking dark thoughts? ...Okay, scratch that, Mercy’s probably in no mood to make terrible jokes and I don’t want her anywhere near things that can break right now.

“I’m here,” he settled with. “...If you want to talk about it just to get everything out, I’ll listen. Otherwise we can just hug. That’s fine with me too.”

Faqir suddenly remembered the idea he’d had in Eriko’s room to relieve some of the tension. His initial plan had been to bring it up after everyone was rested--probably during the meeting, now--but maybe mentioning it to Mercy now would give her something to look forward to.

“I want to write letters,” he murmured. “When we all get back together. Letters to the other students, to our families, to whoever we need to talk to and just...can’t, for whatever reason. Just to get all the feelings out. And hey, maybe they’ll see them. I’m pretty sure at least half of them talked about coming back as a ghost anyways. ...Do you think that might help a bit?”

---

Madoka thought for a moment, not-so-secretly wishing Mercy had stayed so he could ask her for help treating injuries if the need arose.

“I can find some pain pills,” he offered instead. “Um, is there a particular kind that works well for you? I usually just take some ibuprofen, but I’m not sure if that’s the right kind…”

As he moved to look at his hands, he couldn’t help but notice Faussin’s own hand completely empty. After spending his entire conversation with Levi clutching the boy’s fingers, having nothing to hold on to felt strange, somehow.

Somewhat warily, he reached out to wrap his fingers around Faussin’s, as if testing the waters. Especially now that Levi himself had resorted to being mostly silent, Madoka got the feeling having someone to physically be around was helpful.

“I hate bugs,” he heard Faussin mutter.

Ah! Something in common! Quick, Madoka, chase it!

“I’ve always hated bugs too,” he admitted, cautiously moving to curl his fingers around Faussin’s more tightly. “A-anything with more legs than four is instantly terrifying. And to be honest, there are some things with four legs that make me nervous too...like really big dogs or bears.”

Good job, Madoka!

---

Mercy wrapped her arms around Faqir, shivering. Wary that trying to talk would only make things worse, she only shrugged in response to his letter proposal, sniffing. It was embarrassing to think she was even considering doing something like that, but there was a part of her that thought it had the potential to be a good idea. Correction--it was a good idea, she was just adamantly against any kind of 'sharing' or vulnerable activities.

Even now, she was still desperate to suppress her feelings. Getting all of her worries out would no doubt lift some of the weight off of her chest, but of course, the last thing she wanted to do was start sobbing and venting everything to Faqir in the hallway. It wasn't even that she was worried about burdening him--he'd just offered to listen--she was just an idiot, determined to bottle up everything and suppress her feelings even after they exploded and manifested in suicidal thoughts, uncontrollable outbursts, and unbearable emotional pain.

It's fine. Everything's fine...

...Why are you breaking like this? Why is it so hard to stay solid all of a sudden? You'll have time to break later. If you can just keep it together for now, you can get through the rest of the day and cry later, when you don't have things to do and the nurse's office, which you still have to get back to. Gosh, Mercy, just...

Mercy pulled away from the hug, biting her lip. With a deep breath, she moved to support Faqir again. "I-I... It's fine. Thanks, I'm fine, everything's fine, i-it's--let's just hurry up."

She tugged at the collar of her shirt, neck stinging. It wasn't that long of a walk, so they were at the foot of the first stair pretty quickly. Setting Faqir down on the first few steps, she sat down next to him, rubbing her eyes.

It's fine. Everything is going to be fine. Just keep it together for now, please...

---

---

Faussin tensed--was Madoka...?

He gently squeezed the lucky student's hand, eternally grateful. "I-I...thank you. You know, I-I actually don't really like dogs either, haha. E-everyone else seems to love them, but they're just...really scary. I've been bitten by dogs before and it's not fun. ...Bugs are still worse, though."

Faussin almost added on the kinds of hallucinations he'd have about them, but promptly decided that Madoka didn't want to hear about that, Fauss didn't want to talk about it, and things would generally be better for everyone if he left that part out completely.

That being said, just the thought of those creepy crawlers was starting to freak him out and making everything worse, so maybe pain medicine wasn't such a bad way to go. "A-and something for the pain would be nice. I don't really know what 'works well' b-because we've never really had enough money to buy anything, b-but...whatever one you just said, I guess?"

Faqir gave Mercy’s shoulder a quick squeeze before laying the things he’d taken from the nurse’s office in his lap. He lifted the disinfectant, eyeing it.

“I honestly have no idea how to use this,” he admitted. “I mean, sure, I used to scrape my knees a ton as a kid and I’ve needed it before, but usually Mom took care of it for me. When I was too old for that, I learned to just deal with it. Is it a spray? Is it a cream? Nobody knows! Except you, probably. And the two psychos. I’m rambling, aren’t I? Oh well. Let’s open this bad boy up.”

Figuring the best way to figure out how to use the disinfectant was by actually using the disinfectant, Faqir popped open the lid and shook it a bit. Liquid, it seemed like--should he have grabbed a cloth to dab it on with?

Maybe they could use some of the extra bandages. It wouldn’t take a whole roll to cover Mercy’s scar, after all, right?

“...I have no idea how to medicine. Should I go get a cloth or something?”

---

Encouraged by Faussin’s seeming willingness to hold his hand, Madoka moved to grasp it more fully, smiling.

“I’m usually okay with smaller dogs, but the big ones are scary,” Madoka said. “Once my older sister Kana brought home a Great Dane her friend gave her to foster. It must have been twice the size of me at the time, I-I was so scared of it I hid in my room for three days until my mom made her give it back, h-haha.”

Come to think of it, when was the last time Madoka had spoken about his family to anyone? He talked to the others plenty, but it was usually about deep, depressing things. Madoka realized now what must have drawn Levi to Faussin--he was surprisingly easy to talk to when nothing horrible was going on.

“B-but bugs...ah, once I walked into a spider web and my other sister Juri decided to prank me by saying the spider was on me. I-I cried for ten minutes before she finally had mercy and told me it was a joke.”

He heard Levi chuckle and dared to sneak a look. The second Levi realized he’d been spotted watching the two, he quickly turned away. Madoka suppressed a sigh.

“I-I wish I could say I was young when that happened too, b-but that was actually pretty recent...I guess I’ve always cried a lot. W-well, in any case…”

Levi would know, right?

You can’t stay mad at him. Try just one more time.

“H-hey, Levi? D-do you know what type of pain pill would be best for headaches?”

For a moment, Levi was silent as usual. Madoka bit his lip, gripping Faussin’s hand.

Then…

“Acetaminophen. Don’t give him ibuprofen, because if you take that on an empty stomach it can cause nausea and the side effects are worse. Try to find the liquid Tylenol if you can--that’s acetaminophen, it can be taken on an empty stomach with no troubles. And for the love of God, don’t use aspirin. The side effects of that would make him infinitely worse.”

“You’ve been listening,” Madoka observed. Levi was quiet. “...W-well, or maybe you just remember the injuries, I guess...I’ll look for that. Thank you.”

Predictably, Levi didn’t respond. Not that Madoka had expected one--he was just glad Levi had answered at all. The way he responded proved he did still care about Faussin and want to keep him safe from getting hurt, so at least it was a step in the right direction.

“I’ll look for that,” Madoka repeated. “H-hopefully Monokuma didn’t leave us without any…”

---

"Probably," Mercy muttered, glancing at the bottle in Faqir's hands. "Sorry. I should've thought of that when I told you what we needed. Wish we had water or something to clean it up first, though..."

She took another deep breath. Thankfully, Faqir cheerfulness didn't seem to have faded--the last thing she wanted was to make the air heavy and things awkward. Hearing him act like normal was helping set her back on track. Again, she wanted to thank him, but she refrained.

"I would dress the wound myself, but that's kind of hard to do considering I can't really see it," Mercy admitted. "You should know these things anyway, mom having done it or not. This is basic medical knowledge."

She pulled the collar of her shirt away from her skin and held it there, shifting--she realized that the turtleneck was probably going to make it harder for the cut to breathe, but she really didn't care at this point. Things would be fine as long as no one else saw it.

---

---

Understanding Madoka's pain on a personal level, he offered a soft smile.

He began to shift again, but stopped, wincing. Any movement seemed to make his side hurt even more. True that it'd hurt a ton before, but after he tore into it the way he did back in Eriko's room, the pain became even worse. One of the worst things about losing his mind was the pain that followed when he finally started to find his sense again. Thankfully, he hadn't hurt anyone but himself, but that being said the damage he'd inflicted on himself was bad to say the least. That in mind...

"Th-thanks, Levi." Faussin had a feeling that the boy wasn't going to respond, but he'd ended up taking the pain medicine Madoka had been thinking of and it made everything even worse, he could only imagine how miserable he'd be. Even if he pretended not to hear Faussin, it didn't feel right to not say anything.

Relaxing slightly, Faussin let his head rest on the back of the mattress, torn between letting Madoka go to get something to alleviate the pain and asking him to stay because his hand and presence were reassuring. Not sure he'd be fine for even the few minutes it took to sort through the shelves, he let out a nervous chuckle--the movement hurt, unsurprisingly. "Th-this is gonna...t-talking to you is helping me stay sane, so do you mind if we keep talking while you look for the pain medicine?"

Faqir chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, you’re probably right. If I’d known this before maybe my face wouldn’t have gotten infected. Do you think Levi sharpens his nails on purpose just to maim people? I’m pretty sure he does it on purpose to maim people. Like f*cking claws, those things. Anyways, enough of that.”

He would stand and head back to get a cloth himself, but frankly, he didn’t feel like standing up for a while. He observed the bandages instead, wondering if there was anywhere nearby they could get a cloth without having to walk all the way back to the nurse’s office.

“Do you still have your handbook?” Faqir asked suddenly. “Graham still has mine. I dunno if you might have a cloth in there we could use and there’s water in the bathroom sinks.”

---

Madoka felt himself smile. Thank goodness...it’s working. Everything is alright. Okay, Madoka, don’t screw this up now...just stay on topic. Then again, is talking about his fears really a good plan?

“I don’t mind,” he said quickly, moving to head to the cabinets. I just need to find something to talk about… “I’ll be right back, promise. Um…”

Desperate, he glanced up at Levi. Levi met his eye and mouthed the word “magic”.

Ah! Of course!

“What’s your favorite magic trick to perform?” That was a safe question, right? Magic wouldn’t make everything worse, right? He watched Levi’s face for a reaction; Levi winced, turning the other way as if horrified he had said anything in the first place.

Well, I guess we just have to hope for the best, then. Content for now to see how things went, Madoka slowly drew away from Faussin’s hand and inched towards the cabinets to search for liquid pain killers.

---

Mercy patted her pockets, suddenly unsure if the thief had taken hers as well. Thankfully, it was still on her person--taking it out of her pocket, she waved it so that he could see. "Yeah, I do. ...Do you want me to take a look at your face? I would have checked it out earlier, it's just that with everyone else being injured in some way, it was kind of overwhelmed and I guess I just...forgot about it..."

She bit her lip, moving to get a good look at the scratches on his face. How could she have missed that?

"...I also want to look at your foot, too. Climbing three flights of stairs with it broken already couldn't have been good for it," she muttered. "That said, I...thanks. For doing that. F-for me. I know I've already said thanks a lot and I know you keep saying that I don't have to, but I just--it doesn't feel right not saying it. So thanks."

Admittedly, thanking him didn't feel like enough. She wanted to be able to do something else to show that she was grateful--like have the strength to keep her promise on her own, go along with his jokes to lighten the mood, or just somehow manage a genuine smile, but all she was doing was continuing to be a burden.

The least I can do is tend to your injuries, she thought, sighing, especially considering you're already offering to help me with my own.

---

---

Faussin's eyes lit up--magic had always been so exciting. What magic trick is my favorite...?

He'd been asked that question a lot, but it never seemed to get old. There were so many to choose from--there were the more dangerous tricks that made his blood rush and people bite their nails in anticipation, there were the ones that made an entire room gawk in amazement...

"It's hard to pick just one," Faussin confessed, smiling. "I guess I just really like ones that make people smile. I mean, they don't always make everyone smile, because there's usually that one guy in the room who doesn't wanna be there and just sits looking like a grump the entire time, but..."

Ah, memories. He flashed back to shows in the past where people had heckled him during performances. For the longest time, he'd let their words get to him, but over time he realized he didn't have to deal with their hate.

"Ahaha. Th-that reminds me, there was this one guy..." He closed his eyes, remembering the crowd. "A heckler, which you get every now and then. Just that one meanie who likes to ruin other people's days. I ignored him at first, but after a while, I got sick of hearing him shout all those mean things. So before he knew it, everything he had was dangling from the top of one of the stage pillar things. He tried to call the police and report me for thievery, amongst other things, but they couldn't figure out how I did it, so I was off the hook. The policeman was really nice, actually--before he left, he promised to come to one of my shows someday. And he did! I saw him in the crowd and I even called him up to help with one of the tricks."

"Ah... I'm trying to remember what his name was, but my head hurts too much. Maybe it'll come to me later." Faussin paused. "...I went off on a tangent, woops. Sorry. Anyway, I guess it's hard for me to pick a favorite because there are so many great ones. I would ask if you had any favorites, but you probably don't watch a lot of magic, so...a-ah, I don't mean that in a judgemental way, I just mean it in a way that's like--well, it's not really a super common thing, and usually when people are 'into magic' they usually only know a few card tricks. It's just a weird thing to be into, is all. But that doesn't make it any less awesome."

Faqir scratched the back of his neck nervously, tapping his uninjured foot. “I’ve always been good about physical pain,” he assured. “Don’t worry about me too much. Sure it’s bad, but it’s not like I’m dying. Madoka and Fauss were the priorities.”

He paused to consider if he really wanted to continue before adding, “Could be worse, at least he didn’t gauge my eye out.”

As good as Faqir was with handling pain--or even with seeing others in physical pain--it was hard for him to imagine how Madoka must be feeling. Not only had he lost something that wouldn’t heal and could never recover, but he’d lost it to a friend of his. If that wasn’t extremely disheartening, Faqir didn’t know what was.

At least the lucky student seemed to be taking it alright...though if there was anything Faqir knew about people, it was how to tell when they were covering up distress with a few smiles and bad jokes.

“Geez…” Faqir sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Listen, I can wait. First I want to get you patched up and get back to the nurse’s office so we can make sure Madoka and Graham are holding up alright. I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”

Of course it hurt, but at the moment Faqir was most concerned with looking out for the others. He could put up with some pain if it meant keeping them safe.

---

He sounds so excited.

Madoka felt a genuine smile blossom across his face. He listened carefully to Faussin’s words as he reached the cabinets, happy to hear the magician sound genuinely happy for the first time in a while.

When he’d finished, Madoka thought for a moment, wanting to be careful to choose a response that would keep the momentum of the conversation without ruining the mood.

“I think it’s cool,” he settled on. “I’ve always liked magic even if I don’t get to watch a lot of it, so it’s actually pretty neat to have a chance to talk to a real live magician!”

How about another question, Madoka? Be careful. Nothing that might remind him of his brother...asking which show was his favorite may bring up bad memories. Hm...how about…

“How did you do it?” Madoka paused, looking through the collection of medications. “G-get that guy’s stuff to dangle from the ceiling, I mean. Or is that one of those tricks you can’t reveal the secret to?”

Risking a glance at Levi, Madoka noticed the makeup artist watching him with an expression of joy. Upon being spotted, Levi focused on the wall, as had become his custom.

Still, Madoka was glad to know he was in a good mood. It was further proof that he wanted Faussin to be happy, after all, and Madoka was determined to make that happen.

---

Mercy hesitated. "I...well, I mean--if you..."

She knitted her hands together, not wanting to let the subject go. Normally, she'd be fine with it, but she was worried--those scratches looked awful and there was no way he fell down the stairs without hurting something else in the process. While she was in the sandwich shop, she'd heard the crash, and it sounded painful.

"Fine, but you're not waiting long," Mercy muttered, shifting. "There's no way that doesn't hurt, and Fauss and Madoka are fine now injury-wise, so...j-just let me help you, okay?"

Just let me help you. Honestly, that was probably the real reason as to why she didn't want to let it go--he was going to all of this trouble for her, so the least she could do was try and make his face and foot hurt less. ...D*mmit. I can't look at it in the nurse's office because he told everyone he was bringing the supplies to treat him while they were getting a pool stick from the rec room. If we make up another excuse to get away from everyone with medical supplies again, they might get suspicious. At this rate, it'll be hours before I can actually take a look at him...

Mercy huffed, bringing her knees to her chest. "You're too nice. You...h-honestly, I can deal with my neck hurting for a while--I'd rather take a look at those scratches and your foot than treat it. You've--you've been throwing up for hours, you broke your toes, you got a concussion at some point and a bottle to the face, so you don't need to be in any more pain than you already are. I've had worse than a tiny little cut on my neck."

---

---

"How did I...ah, to be honest, I can't really remember that well," Faussin admitted, shifting. "B-but it's cool to hear that you like magic! I-I could talk about it for hours, honestly, but if I did that, I'd probably have to reveal some tricks and I don't think I want to do that. You know, the whole thing about magicians not revealing their secrets. I-It's nothing personal, it's just--y-you get it, right? O-ow, talking so much is making my side hurt m-more..."

Faussin tried to take a deep breath, but the ropes made it harder.

"I-I guess I kind of brought it on myself, though." He began to descend into nervous laughter, then yelped. Laughing hurt. "O-ow! Ow, that really--okay. I don't want to stop talking because this kind of talking is fun, but ow. Ow. O-oh, I know! Why don't you talk about something? Unless you don't want to, which is fine, it's just that...s-sorry, am I being overwhelming? I guess I just don't really get the chance to talk to people that often. Not like--not like this, I guess."

He closed his eyes, head pounding. Smiling was painful too, but he was so glad to be okay for once that he honestly didn't mind that much. If he could find some position that was more comfortable, that'd be nice, but being tied to a mattress kind of eliminated that option.

Again, my own fault, Faussin acknowledged. And I mean, I did ask for someone to bash my head in, so...

Faqir shrugged, leaning back against the stairs. "It's not that bad," he assured. "Really, I'm more worried about everyone's mental states than I am my own physical state. My face doesn't hurt too much, just a little sting every once in a while. I just...don't want to risk losing anyone else."

Come to think of it, Faqir had been on a pretty constant track of physical pain for a while now, but that wasn't about to stop him. He'd already pushed through getting a bottle broken on his face, a concussion, and being tazed in the side. A broken foot and some scratches almost felt like child's play at this point. Frankly, he was just happy to be alive--and to have everyone else alive too.

"We should get that cloth," he murmured. "Trust me, I'm fine, okay? We can take care of all of that later. I'll probably be more stressed if I take time to try and fix myself than if I make sure Graham and Madoka are alright. I...don't think Mado's really had a chance to actually process through the fact that he lost an eye yet and I don't feel right forcing him to push it to the side to look after Fauss and Levi. I know it's a bit irrational, but...after being a burden on you guys for so long, I feel like it's my responsibility to look out for everyone."

It gave Faqir an odd sense of purpose to realize he was one of the last ones who hadn't completely broken to pieces by now. Hanging on to his sanity enough to look out for everyone who needed it was what was keeping him going at this point; he knew they needed him, and who was he to bow out on everyone when they needed a pillar the most?

Even if he somehow ended up being the only pillar holding everyone up, he didn't mind. They were so close to the end--if Faqir had to shoulder some burdens for another week to get everyone out, he would do it. There would be time to take care of himself when everyone was safely out of this hellhole.

---

"Talk about something?" Madoka echoed, drawing a bottle out of the cabinet and checking the label. "Ah...y-you're fine, don't worry, i-it's just that I'm not very interesting..."

Encouraged by his luck with Faussin, he turned to Levi. "Levi, you probably have lots to talk about, right?"

Levi raised an eyebrow at him and remained silent.

"...W-well, it was worth a shot. Um, let's see..."

Ah, this seems to be the right one. Aspirin, right?

Unsure, Madoka tucked the bottle under his arm and looked over at Levi again. "What kind did you say again? Aspirin?"

Levi's eyes widened. "Dear God, no. Acetaminophen. Tylenol. There are side effects for that too, but it's generally well-tolerated and works well enough on an empty stomach. C-can you stop asking me questions?"

"You can't just stay silent forever."

As if to spite him, Levi promptly went completely silent.

"...O-okay. Well, anyways, back to this, um...I-I don't have any special talents like you do, Fauss, s-so..."

Am I really this pathetic? Ah, think, Madoka...

"Oh!" Madoka perked up slightly, continuing to comb through the bottles on the shelves. "Um, have you ever been hiking? It's bad if you go during the buggy seasons, but I used to love going on hikes with my mom when we had plenty of bug spray and they weren't as active. We had this one mountain we used to visit all the time, it was so beautiful there. I-I can't wait to..."

To...go back? But you promised to move in with Levi, didn't you?

Am I...am I even going to be able to go home? I can't just back down after I swore to stick with him, but I...didn't think this...

...Is...is my family even still alive...?

Madoka shook his head, taking deep breaths to try and stay calm. Now wasn't the time to start freaking out. With Levi going nearly catatonic, Faussin still teetering too close to another breakdown, and Graham unprepared to deal with the consequences of letting the two freak out, too much was riding on Madoka staying calm. He could worry about whatever was bothering him later.

"Well, anyway. I've always loved the mountains. They're lovely and peaceful...like a familiar friend."

---

Mercy stared down at her hands, taking a deep breath. "I...okay. I believe you. I trust you. You're fine."

He's fine. Of course, he's fine, why would you...

"...I'm sorry. Of course you're fine, it's just--" she paused, wary of saying anything else. Wouldn't it be best if she just kept her feelings to herself? Why did she need to burden him with anything else? He was already doing so much, so surely she could just keep her mouth shut and...

He said he'll listen. He said he was there for you. It's not going to be a burden, so just get your feelings out before they explode again and you look for another f*cking knife. In fact, why don't you get one right now? It's not like you're any help anyway.

She snapped the hairband against her wrist, gritting her teeth.

You could do it before. Just swallow your stupid feelings. Ignore them. God, just...

Irritated, she started trying over and over again, hating the knotted feeling in her heart.

"Right. Let's just hurry up. We just need to get some cloth, a pool stick, and head back," Mercy muttered. "Right? Right. Do you need me to help you stand?"

---

---

Faussin nodded, smiling--predictably, the movement hurt, but he wanted to smile. "That sounds nice. I've always liked nature, but no, I haven't ever really had the chance to go hiking or something like that. I-I always wanted to, though. Ow...ah, w-what other kinds of things do you like? I-I'm not really...um. Y-you know, I always wanted to learn how to play the piano."

He loved music. Well--certain kinds of music. Some songs were really relaxing, but others just made him unreasonably anxious. In its own way, he'd realized, music was its own kind of magic.

"I-I guess I just couldn't really find a way to learn," Faussin admitted, closing his eyes. "I mean, I'm not super sad about it or anything, because I have magic, but... I don't know. Just being able to play pretty and relaxing songs, sounds...it sounds nice, I guess. Like a warm blanket I can run to if things start to get too scary."

Magic used to be his warm blanket, but after Len died, it was less of a blanket and more like a veil to help him cover up all of the bad memories. Still comforting in a way, he supposed, but not in the same way it used to be. Then again, if he ever started trying to pursue music, it wouldn't have the same warmth as magic--not the warmth that his brother left with it.

"Do you have anything like that?" He asked, wanting to think about something other than his brother. "I-I mean, if you get what I'm talking about. It's hard to tell if I'm just spouting nonsense sometimes...a-also, talking is really hurting everything, so I-I'm still listening but I'm going to try and talk less."

As much as he wanted to get back, Faqir couldn't deny that Mercy didn't seem to be in the best shape. He frowned, staring absently at the floor.

"Mercy..." Faqir hesitated, remembering the mess that had broken out the last time they pressured Mercy into sharing her feelings. Maybe it would be best to just let her shove it all aside.

But at the same time...

"...Hey, do you need to talk?" he said finally. "I know I said I wanted to hurry back, but we can chat a bit while we work. I dunno, it just seems like there's something on your mind."

There was a highly probable chance she would just insist everything was fine, but by now Faqir felt he knew better. He would have time to figure out if it was best to just let her stuff everything back or push her to open up later.

---

"Hm..." Madoka thought for a moment, pulling down another bottle and checking the label. Ah! Here it is. I wonder if I should get a cup...is it okay to let Fauss swallow this without being able to sit up?

"Well...I guess I've always wanted to learn how to draw," he admitted. "My sister Juri is a really talented artist, and seeing her design all these beautiful things makes me want to try it too. Maybe if I knew how, I could draw the mountains from back at my home, and..."

Oh my gosh.

Viv's portraits.

For the first time, Madoka realized there were no portraits for Finnian or Vivara. Vivara hadn't had any time to make one for Finnian when the trial had been so shortly after his death, and of course she wouldn't have drawn one for herself. Unless she had predicted Finnian's death long enough in advance to make him one, but that still left her with none for herself.

No.

No, Madoka, please...please don't think about it...

A tear slipped down Madoka's cheek. He sniffled, wiping it away and taking a deep breath.

Don't break. Don't break, Madoka, please...please, don't...

"A-anyway..."

N-no. Focus, please...

It...it hurts...it hurts so much...

Madoka took another deep breath, trying to keep his hands from trembling.

Levi, please...p-please take over, I can't...

I can't do this right now.

Beyond desperate, he stole a glance at Levi to see if there was any chance he could get the boy to keep Faussin comfortable while he stepped outside to compose himself.

Levi's only response was a strained smile.

...Pull yourself together, Madoka. They need you.

I need them.

Someone, p-please...I can't...!

"A-anyways, u-um..." Madoka cleared his throat to mask the incoming onslaught of tears. He pinched his skin, trying to snap out of the enroaching thoughts. "W-well, I never really had a chance to learn. B-but it's not t-too late to pick up piano! You would probably be good at it. U-um, it's okay, you don't need to..."

Hang on. Please, please hang on...you can be sad later!

"Madoka," Levi finally called. "...M-Madoka, I..."

He needs you. He needs you to stay strong. Just a little longer. Just until...

Just until Faqir and Mercy come back? No, they don't even like Faussin, do they? Just until we get go to sleep? N-no, I can't...I don't think I can hold on that long...

Someone...please, help me...

"I f-found the pain pills!" he announced, trying to force as much cheer into his voice as he could muster. He wiped away another fresh set of tears, gripping the bottle until he knuckles turned white. "O-or pain medication, I-I guess? W-wow, I guess I am pretty lucky t-to have found something so specific. Haha. U-um, hang on. I-I'll be--I-I'll be there in a second. I'm fine, d-don't worry!"

I'm not fine. I'm not at all, but if I break now...

Steeling himself, Madoka returned to Faussin's mattress with the pain pills, opening the bottle as quickly as he could and pouring the reccomended dosage into the cap for Faussin to take. He took a series of deep breaths, hoping against hope that Faussin couldn't see his hand shaking.

It's all going to be alright. Just hold on, Madoka. Just a little bit longer, and then you can be sad...

"D-do you think you can drink it alright?"

---

Mercy hesitated. He's offering again, and yet you...

"...I'm fine," she lied. "Just...still shaken up from earlier, I guess. I'll be fine."

You're breaking. Why can't you just make peace with that?

"I'm fine," she repeated, taking a deep breath. "So just stop asking, okay? I don't want you to worry. Madoka and Graham are more important right now. I can bounce back--I always do."

Not gonna break. Not gonna break. I bounced back from Eriko's death, didn't I? Even if it took f*cking forever. Just going to distract myself like I always do, going to act like normal, going to rebuild those stupid f*cking walls and not shed another stupid tear. I'm not fine, but that's okay, because I've never really been 'fine', and somehow I still managed to make it this far.

Rubbing her forehead, she stood, offering a hand to help Faqir.

I'll just... keep going. C-can I keep going forever, though?

She took another deep breath.

I-I have to keep going, because if I don't, then I'll remember how much everything hurts. If I'm vulnerable, if I'm weak, if I let my walls down again, then I...I-I'll see all the things that make me sad. And I can't be sad. I don't want to be sad. I don't want to hurt, so I...I-I can't...

You're fine...everything's fine...just ignore it all...

The pain was coming back. She closed her eyes, willing it to go away.

W-what do I do if I can't keep going anymore...?

---

---

Faussin bit his lip. Was it just him, or did Madoka seem off all of a sudden?

"I-I...I can try?" He offered. He didn't look forward to trying to drink something while lying down, but he probably didn't have a choice. Though he probably dreaded the terrible taste more than he did drinking lying down--he and Len never had enough money to buy medicine most of the time, but there were exceptions when either of them were really, really hurt. That being said, the few times he did drink any liquid medicine, it was disgusting.

"Madoka..."

Graham spoke for what was the first time in several minutes. Admittedly, the magician had forgotten he was even there.

"Here," the thief suddenly said, rising from his chair and kneeling down next to the lucky student. He took the cap full of medicine from the boy, smiling. "I can help Fauss with this, don't worry. You know--actually, now that I think about it, Mercy and Faqir brought us food, but they didn't bring any drinks. Do you mind getting some from the cafeteria? Maybe you'll run into them on the way and be able to say hi!"

Considering the thief had been completely silent for the past however many minutes, his sudden change in attitude was weird, to say the least, but... at least he seemed to be feeling better?

Faqir reached out to take Mercy's hand...

...and immediately pulled her into a hug.

"No complaining," he declared. "You brought this on yourself. I'm not letting go until you feel better. ...Okay, actually that might take too long. New plan, I'm not letting go until I feel better, which probably won't be until you feel at least a bit better. We can do this the easy way or the hard way, the hard way being I keep doing this and you eventually get fed up and kick me in the balls, so basically it'll only hurt me. I'm betting on the fact that you don't want me to suffer any more than I already have."

Definitely not the best plan, admittedly, but at least it might get Mercy to relax a bit.

"I promise, I promise, no more interruptions after this. I just worry about you, pretty girl."

---

Madoka forced a smile, torn between being eternally grateful and refusing to leave in case things got worse.

N-no, take the offer. You need to step out for a bit. Compose yourself, then come back. You'll be fine.

"Thank you," he whispered; then more loudly, "Take care of Fauss for me. Fauss, Levi, I-I'm just going to go get some drinks. I-I'll be right back, I-I promise. Graham, i-if anything goes wrong, p-please come find me!"

"We'll be fine, good luck charm," Levi insisted, flashing a tired smile. Madoka returned it with his own, slowly rising to his feet. He reached out to give Faussin's hand a quick squeeze.

"I'll be right back," he promised. I just need a minute. I just need...

Taking a deep breath, he bowed gratefully to Graham and escaped out the door.

Madoka immediately burst into sobs, burying his face in his hands.

I-I want my eye back. I don't want to be half-blind for the rest of my life. I'm angry at Levi for attacking me after I've done so much for him. I'm worried about Fauss because I don't know if I can look after him as well as Levi can, and I'm worried about Levi because I know how much he loves Fauss. I just don't know how I feel about Levi! Do I still love him? Is he just a friend? Are we even friends at all after what happened? And what are we going to do about Viv? Viv and Finn are part of the group! I'll bet even Ysabel got a portrait, so we can't just leave Viv and Finn without one, but none of us can draw like Viv and it's so unfair...!

Madoka sniffled, hiding his eye in his sleeve. Only having tears leak from one eye felt entirely wrong--was the other even functioning at all?

I want my eye back.

The more time he took to think over it, the worse he felt.

And the worse he felt, the more he noticed himself thinking about everything else that had gone wrong.

Faqir...he's been doing so much for us. He saved Fauss and Levi by knocking them out, he stayed with me until I was safe, he ran after Mercy even with his foot the way it was...I should have gone after her instead.

A-and now I'm making poor Graham look after those two alone! What if he says the wrong thing by mistake and Fauss breaks again? What if I say the wrong thing by mistake and Fauss breaks again? Levi would know what to do...

...he would, but he's ignoring us instead! He's making me pick up all the pieces he dropped just because he's giving up trying again? Well, maybe I want to give up too! You stabbed out my eye, you don't get to ask favors now! I...

I want...I do forgive you, but...but why does everything still hurt so much...?

Sighing miserably, Madoka began to wander towards the dining hall. Maybe a glass of milk wouldn't be so bad, and he could bring some back to the others on a tray...

A tray.

I miss Romano...he'd know what to do. Eriko would know what to do, but I...

Madoka's feet dragged. He forced himself to keep going, suddenly drained.

I...killed her.

He could almost feel the deadness in his eye. Exhausted, Madoka slumped against the wall, then pushed off, forcing himself forwards.

I killed her. I killed Eriko. I'm why she even went to the casino in the first place. If I hadn't been such a coward...

Madoka hiccupped, reaching up to wipe his eyes. His whole body trembled, his steps slowing.

If I...had just gone back to Clair and said Eriko said no, th-then none of this would have happened. If I had just sucked it up and been a man, none of this would have happened. Instead I had to make Eriko pity me...i-instead, I...I-I killed her...

Why am I...

Why am I so incredibly weak...?

Only a foot from the dining hall door, Madoka collapsed to his knees, bawling into his sleeve. He leaned against the wall, letting out a loud sob.

I'm the one who should have died, Levi...

I'm the one who should have died, Fauss...

I'm the one who killed Eriko.

I'm so weak...

---

No. No. No. No...

"S-stop," Mercy choked out, immediately trying to push him away. "I'm f-fine. I said I was fine, so just leave it!"

I'm not breaking. I'm fine. I can do this. I can get through this. It'll work if I just keep going. I'll keep going...and going...and going...and going...

"...I-I'm fine. S-stop. I hate being touched, I hate--the hug is making it worse, so just s-stop and leave me alone. Everything is fine, alright? Except it's not, because Madoka and Graham are probably freaking out right now. Worry about them and not me. There's no reason for you to worry about me in the first place because I'm fine."

Go away. Leave me alone. I'm not going to break. You're not going to force me into this again. I don't want to feel that pain again. I don't have to feel it, because I can get rid of it like I always do. I'll just keep going.

Why do you even care in the first place?

Unsure, Faqir held Mercy at arm's length, frowning.

"No one..." He paused, considering. "...No one ever truly got over their feelings by ignoring them and stuffing them down and pretending they don't exist. I'll go with you and we'll take care of this, but I'm serious, okay? You don't...you don't have to shove everything away and pretend to be fine for me."

It was a bit hypocritical for Faqir to tell her to be honest considering he was being entirely untruthful about the amount of pain he was in, but that didn't matter. Emotional pain was the priority.

God, this is tough.

"Anyways..." Faqir sighed, releasing her entirely. "Just...keep that in mind, okay? I'm worried about you."

Please don't get sick again, I don't want you wasting a delicious meal.

---

"You shouldn't be," Mercy hissed, standing back up. Her hands trembled and she hated herself for it. "I don't--I can get over it just fine, alright? I got over Eriko, I'll get over this! I got over everything! I got over her, I got over Harvey, I got over my parents, and this isn't any f*cking different! So I don't need any stupid f*cking hugs or to write any letters to people who are never going to see them because they're DEAD!"

The suffocating feeling welled in her chest again and she clenched her fists, suddenly enraged.

"I--you know what?" She laughed, stepping back. "I don't have to be here! I dealt with everything else on my own, so why can't I deal with this alone, too?! You know, I'm starting to think everything is better alone. At least then everyone isn't trying to force me to break, or threatening me so that I'll let my guard down and--and--just F*CK THIS!"

Seething, Mercy stormed off in the direction of her room, wanting more than anything to be alone.

"For crying out..."

Faqir really did try.

He really did try not to get worked into calling after Mercy.

Unfortunately, he had never been the best at self-control.

"You clearly didn't get over any of them!" he ended up shouting after her. "If you had, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place! God, Mercy, being alone isn't helping anything, it's just making it easier for you to pretend it is! Don't you see it?!"

Great job, f*ckwad, you're making things worse again.

"You don't have to be alone! I'm trying to be here for you but I can't do that if you're too f*cking stubborn to admit that you're a mess whether it shows or not! Stop saying you're fine, you're not fine because if you were fine you wouldn't have tried to f*cking kill yourself! I want to be there for you, I want to be able to support you and listen to you, I...just let me...let me do this for you!"

You're kind of an idiot, aren't you?

Faqir groaned, using the banister to pull himself to a stand. He glanced at the bottle of disinfectant and the bandages that had been placed aside, the sight of them somehow only making him feel worse. Irritated, he bent to lift them into his arms, debating throwing them after Mercy so she could at least patch herself up.

God, what am I supposed to do now...?

---

Deep breaths. Calm down. Pull yourself together.

Madoka forced himself to a stand, taking quick, shallow breaths in a desperate attempt to keep himself calm. He knew he had to get back to the nurse's office eventually, and at least sobbing for a bit had cleared the pent-up sadness, but with more anger and self-hatred and frustration building up every second, somehow Madoka doubted it was going to help.

He sniffled, moving towards the dining hall once more to get the drinks he'd been sent to get.

I'm sorry, Viv. I'm sorry I never learned art. I'm sorry I can't draw you a portrait.

I'm sorry, Eriko. I'm sorry I'm such a spineless coward. I'm sorry I got you killed and broke everyone.

I'm sorry, Levi. I'm sorry I came to rely on you so much and then made you think everything was your fault. I'm sorry I got mad at you.

I'm sorry, everyone. I'm sorry I ruined everything. I'm sorry I can't even stay optimistic anymore.

Milk--that's right, he'd wanted a glass of milk. He headed for the kitchen, going to the fridge to pull out a carton of milk and then to the cabinets to get out a glass.

The set of kitchen knives gleamed on the counter. Madoka took one look, then promptly turned away and began pouring himself a glass of milk.

I'm sorry I'm so weak I can't even kill myself for it.

Trays...there had to be one somewhere. Madoka began to look around the kitchen, suddenly reminded of the last time he'd been in the room.

It was Clair's trial. He had run off to search for Clair and ended up running into Romano in the kitchen. Romano helped calm him down and they searched for Clair together. While they were gone, Eriko...

Teeth chattering, Madoka sunk to the floor and leaned against the counter, hugging his knees to his chest.

I don't want to go on any more...

But I'm too weak to even give up properly.

Ah, I'm so useless...

---

"SHUT UP!" Mercy screamed, already at her door. "I don't need your help! I don't need anyone's help! I'm fine on my own, I've always been fine, everything is fine--god, this is why I hate people!"

She hastily took out her handbook and tried to scan it, growing only more frustrated when she didn't do it right. Hands shaking with rage, she fumbled with it, trying again and again until it finally worked.

I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

Stepping in and slamming the door shut behind her, she chucked the device across the room, shaking. She paced back and forth for a few moments, anger bubbling.

I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

Mercy threw her fist against her door, hyperventilating. Knuckles turning white, she slammed her head against the door and let out a shrill, blood-curdling scream.

He expected it, but Faqir was still frustrated with himself when the stress promptly kicked back into overdrive and caused him to throw up to the side of the stairs. He clutched at his stomach, panting.

D*mmit. D*mmit. D*mmit. What have you done, stupid? You should have just left her alone. Don't you dare lose her.

Sh*t. F*ck. D*mmit.

He wiped his eyes, staring at the bandages and disinfectant.

Alright. Alright, mental list. I need that pool stick, I-I need Mercy, I need to clean out my mouth, I need Mercy, I need to get this medicine stuff to Mercy, I need Mercy, and I need Mercy. First things first, let's just...just get that pool stick.

Trying to keep himself distracted, he hopped up the stairs as quickly as he could manage, popping into the rec room to pick up another makeshift cane. Getting back down was a bit simpler with its help, though it would be way easier with an actual person to support him.

Okay. What's next? Mercy. I need to get Mercy.

No, stop. You tried to fix things and made it worse. First, wash out your mouth, give her more time alone. Then you can go after her. The dining hall, then?

Frantic, Faqir headed for the dining hall, passing Mercy's door on the way. He took a deep breath, hesitating.

...She said she doesn't need you, remember? Just leave her alone.

No, you can't. You promised.

"I'm sorry," he said weakly, pausing to lean against Mercy's door. He felt his eyes close, trying desperately to block out the tears that threatened to break free.

...I'm so sorry.



What?

Madoka sniffled, sitting up. Was that...?

It wasn't a scream, was it?

No...it was, wasn't it?

Fauss.

Fauss!

Please, p-please don't be Fauss...I-I'm not ready, please, I-I don't want to...

He let out another sob, burying his face in his knees. If nothing else, crying it all out was helping him at least a little bit.

At least thirty seconds passed before he heard something again.

"Sh*t!"

Madoka gasped, looking up just in time to see Faqir hobble around the corner and enter the room, heading straight for the kitchen. Madoka quickly wiped his eyes and rose to his feet, sipping at the milk.

Faqir made a beeline for the sink and promptly threw up into it, groaning. Madoka gasped, hating how the sight only served to make him feel worse.

"F-Faqir?" Madoka cleared his throat, hating the way his voice broke. "W-what happened?"

Please don't make me get involved, whatever it is...I'm so tired, and now you're sick again and it's probably my fault...

Instead of answering, Faqir finished vomiting into the sink and reached for a glass. Madoka fetched one for him, passing it over. Faqir filled the glass with water from the sink, rinsing.

Madoka waited in uneasy silence for Faqir to finish cleaning his mouth before he finally responded.

"I have to get to Mercy," he muttered. "No...no, she's probably furious at me. Rightfully so."

Madoka stiffened. Please, please don't ask. Faqir, I-I can't. Please, I just...I just can't...

"You wouldn't mind coming with me, would you?" Faqir groaned, pounding his fist on the counter. "F*ck! I told her I'm not leaving her alone but if I go over there right now she'll probably kill me. D*mmit, why won't she let anyone help?! Does she think this is a f*cking secret after I watched her f*cking try to kill herself?!"

Wait...

Mercy was...

Did I...is this because of...

Madoka let out another choked sob, trying desperately not to break again in front of Faqir.

"F*cking h*ll...don't tell anyone I said that!" Faqir insisted. "She doesn't want anyone to know, I promised I wouldn't say anything...I'm just so worried about her, I just...d*mmit! What the f*ck is with you people and giving mixed signals?! We leave Fauss alone and he goes berserk! We try to help Fauss and he goes berserk! I leave Mercy alone and she tries to commit suicide! I try to stick by Mercy and get her to rely on me and she gets mad at me! What the actual h*ll are we supposed to do?! Pick a lane, f*ckwads!"

"Calm down," Madoka begged. Please. I-I don't want to hear this right now. I-I need to break...I-I want to break too...p-please, just let me break...!

"I'm going after her," Faqir mumbled. "I'll just tell her I'm sorry and maybe she can forgive me. But sh*t f*ck on a bun, I didn't do anything wrong! She's the one being f*cking unreasonable!"

"Calm down!" Madoka repeated, begging his voice not to crack. "P-please! I-I can't, n-not right now...p-please..."

Faqir suddenly seemed to notice the tears pouring from Madoka's eye. Suddenly alert, he reached out to grab the boy's hands, letting the pool stick tumble onto the ground. "Oh geez. Oh geez, Mado, c-come on, hang in there. We can do this. Don't you break on me too now, we're going to be fine!"

Stop it. Stop it, please...you're not being fair. I-I want to break too...I-I want to break so badly...i-it hurts so much, I don't want to hold it in anymore...!

"Hey," Faqir said softly. "L-listen, we're going to take some time to relax after this, o-okay? I already have everything planned and...I-I don't have time right now, I'm sorry. I need to go after Mercy. Come on, I'll stick with you."

I don't want anyone to stick with me! Madoka nearly yelled. P-please, I-I just want to break...!

"Okay," he replied instead, his voice weak and body aching. Quietly, he bent down and retrieved Faqir's fallen pool stick, handing it back. Faqir took Madoka's hand in his, dragging the lucky student behind him back towards Mercy's room. Madoka followed along behind him, feet dragging.

I just want to break.

That's fine, isn't it?

It hurts too much. I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. I can't take it...

"Mercy?!" Faqir called, knocking frantically on the door. "Mercy, I-I'm sorry! I was an idiot and I shouldn't have pushed you, I...I just need to know you're not going to do anything brash, I'm sorry..."

Faqir looked pleadingly at Madoka, who stared blankly at the floor, leaning against the wall.

I don't want to do this anymore. I-I...

He covered his mouth desperately, trying with all his strength not to shatter right at Mercy's door. Faqir gripped his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he squeaked out, shaking.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Don't be mad at anyone else. This was all my fault.

I can't. I-I can't, I-I'm...I'm too weak...

---

Mercy pounded her fist against the door, letting out another scream of pure agony.

Everything is fine. You're fine. This is exactly what you did when Harvey left, and you were fine then, so it's going to be fine now too. Right?

She slowly slid down to her knees, breathing shallow. Couldn't they just leave her alone? Didn't they understand that she was used to this, that she could control it? She just needed to get it out first and then she could swallow it all again, moving on. Going forward was the only thing she knew she was good at, so if they could just let her, if they could stop pushing her, if they could stop reminding her of everything that hurt so much...

Mercy screamed again.

I just need to push it down like I always do...I don't need to feel this way...I know how to make it stop, so I'll just do what I always do, and it'll work because it always works...

Faqir is wrong. I'm fine. Even if it doesn't seem like it right now, I'm fine, I don't need anyone's help, I've got this under control and I always have. I moved on from everything a long, long time ago.

She desperately wished for him to go away. Just hearing his voice through the door was enough to bring her to the verge of tears, drawing out the pain and making her feel like her heart was being torn in two.

I don't miss my parents, I don't miss Eriko, I don't miss Harvey and our hiking trips. I don't need anyone else, I'm fine on my own, I like things better this way--I've always been alone and that's how I want things to stay. When I'm alone, I...

Her heart hammered. She slammed her fist into the floor, letting out another scream.

...When I'm alone, I feel empty. When I'm around other people who try and help me, all I want is to be alone. Is this a curse? Is this just how I am? Is there no way for me to be happy?

She screamed again, fighting the suffocation.

What do I do? How do I make this stop? Oh god, I-I can't breathe...

The hunter broke out into strangled sobs, breathing growing more and more shallow. She fell into the door, throat throbbing and suffocating feeling growing even worse. Suddenly scared, her sobs grew louder and more panicked, the hunter both despising and desperately needing Faqir's presence.

"I-I...c-can't...breathe..."

Madoka’s heart pounded in time with the throbbing in his temples.

Faqir held a hand to his mouth briefly, swallowing. He pounded on Mercy’s door, clearly desperate.

Madoka stared at the floor, his vision blurry.

We shouldn’t be here. Just leave her alone...leave me alone, please…

Ah...everything hurts so much...m-my heart feels like it’s being torn in half…

“Mercy!” Faqir yelled. “I-I told you I can’t leave you alone anymore, I-I get it but I...c-can you open the door? God, I’m so sorry! I-I’m sorry, I’m here now, h-how can I help? Deep breaths, pretty girl, y-you can--”

He broke off with a groan, holding his hand to his mouth again. Madoka watched in sheer horror.

We’re breaking again. We’re breaking again and it’s all because I killed Eriko. It’s all because I tried to push Mercy. It’s all because I ignored Fauss. It’s all because I wasn’t strong enough to stop Levi. It’s all because I made Faqir worry about me.

If I had never existed, everyone would have been fine.

God in heaven...please kill me.

He nearly collapsed, trembling violently and hiccuping with sobs. Faqir glanced at him.

“Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t…” Faqir groaned, placing a hand against the door. Lowering his voice, he turned to Madoka. “Mado, hang in there, okay? I promise, I’ll be with you after I make sure Mercy is safe, I just...do you know CPR?”

“D-don’t,” Madoka whimpered. “Stop, please...stop worrying about me, I-I just want to do something by myself for once…”

I just want to be useful for once. I don’t want to be a burden anymore…!

“I know CPR,” he muttered. His sister was a babysitter and a lifeguard at separate points, she had passed the knowledge on to him. Maybe if he could just be useful, everything would be fine.

No. I can’t. I don’t want to. I’m not strong enough. I’m weak...I want to be weak…

God in heaven...please let me die.

---

I don't know how to make it stop. I still can't breathe. I don't know how to feel better. I still can't breathe. I don't know how anything can stop this. Please, just make this feeling go away. It's too much. I can't. I can't...

Again, she wanted to scream, but through her violent sobs, gasps for breath and newly onset lightheadedness, she couldn't find the breath or the strength. Trembling, she continued to cry, panic and pain worsening. Her throat was already incredibly sore from all of the screaming she'd done, and hyperventilating made the pain even worse.

I'm sorry. Don't ever say you're sorry, Faqir, you...I-I'm so selfish...

The violent outpouring of emotions was starting to give her a terrible headache. She dug her nails into her arms, suffocation growing worse.

I'm sorry. Please stop. I know you want to help, but I don't...I-I can't...

Mercy was shifting between desperately wanting to be left alone and desperately needing someone next to her. She reached for the doorknob, vision blurring somewhat, using it to lift herself up off the ground.

I don't think I'm meant to be happy, and yet I'm--I'm still trying? is there even a point...?

She leaned into the door, heart beating unreasonably fast.

I want to die. I don't want to keep going anymore. I give up. Let me give up. Why are you making it so hard to end things? Why can't you leave me alone? You...why did you make me promise?

"I-I..."

I could be dead already if you just stopped caring. So stop. Dear god, just stop. Just leave me alone, just let me die, just let me feel free and get rid of this pain...

Somehow, Madoka admired Faqir’s stubbornness.

He continued to pound on the door, clutching the pool stick. Even through the tears in his eyes and the shaking of his voice, Madoka could almost feel he courage in his heart.

I wish I could be that brave.

“I’m not giving up on you!” Faqir called. “Hang in there, just hang in there a little bit longer...t-try to open the door, I can…”

A bag.

Madoka suddenly remembered a remedy his mother had for when he ever started hyperventilating--breathe into a paper bag.

Madoka, please...if you can just be strong for just a little bit longer, I’m sure things will work out somehow. Just like they always do. You’ll end up back to normal just like you always are. Just like Levi does, you’ll bounce back. Please, just put aside your selfishness for just a little longer…

“I’ll be right back,” he whispered, rising to his feet. Faqir offered only one look in response--but in that one look, Madoka saw all the terror and anguish he tried so hard to hide.

Madoka swallowed, placing a shaking hand on Faqir’s back. “I’m just going to go get a paper bag for Mercy,” he insisted. “I’ll be right back.”

Faqir nodded, taking a deep breath. “Mercy, d-do you have a bag to breathe into? Hey, hey, i-it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to feel, just please don’t give up, I...I’m right here, pretty girl.”

So quietly Madoka almost missed it, he added, “I still need you.”

No one needs you, right?

Madoka tried to focus on heading upstairs for a bag rather than on his swirling thoughts.

Don’t say that, Madoka. Levi and Fauss need you.

But they're with Graham right now and they’re fine, right?

The sandwich shop or the grille had the highest chance of having a bag of some sort, just in case whoever visited needed to bring their food downstairs. Right? Maybe one of the trinket shops would have something.

Ah, you always do this...you’re always pushing your own feelings away to help other people.

Madoka, you’re not selfish at all…

...but I want to be.

He finally found one, in the grille as predicted. Madoka raced back down the stairs, each footstep in line with another beat of his heart. The second he reached Faqir again, he threw his arms around the other student, just desperate to have someone to break with.

I don’t like feeling this way. It’s only a bit longer so it’s fine, right? It’s fine to keep going…

I’m so weak.

---

Don't say that...

Mercy sobbed inbetween gasps, fingers curling around the handle.

Why can't you let me die? Why can't you stop trying? Why can't you let me give up? I'm so tired, I hurt so much, I hate this feeling and I...I can't breathe...I-I can't breathe...

She wanted to scream. She wanted to die. She wanted everyone back.

I can't do this anymore.

Mercy fell back to her knees, hands still gripping the door handle. Her sobs were growing more and more sporadic, her vision blurring more and heart racing even more quickly. She wanted so badly to give in. Her head screamed with pain and defeat--if only she could...

D-d*mmit... Against everything she wanted, she fumbled with the handle, turning it and opening the door just a sliver. Feeling fainter with every second, she let her hands drop to the ground, still gasping for breath and tears still gushing down her face. I'm so weak...I'm so tired...I-I can't...breathe...

The second the door opened, Faqir snatched the bag from Madoka and shoved it through to Mercy.

“H-here, take this, breathe,” Faqir ordered, leaving only his hand through the door. “Y-you’re gonna be alright, just breathe into that, it’s all okay. God, this is exactly what I meant, you never allow yourself to process through your feelings in a healthy way so instead they blow up and this happens!”

Madoka clung tighter to Faqir, desperate not to break down in sobs again.

I-I don’t want to end up like Mercy. I don’t want to shatter. I-I just need more time...please…

It hurts.

Faqir released the pool stick to touch Madoka’s hand. Madoka gripped it with all the strength he could manage.

“We’re alright,” Faqir whispered. “I’m here. W-we can still do this.”

We can still do this.

Ah, maybe we can…

...but I can’t.

You would all be better off without me around. It’s all my fault Mercy is feeling so upset. I’m the one who killed Eriko.

“F-Faqir,” Madoka whispered back, “I-I’m so sorry.”

Faqir merely shook his head, squeezing Madoka’s hand harder. Madoka sniffled, resting his head on Faqir’s shoulder.

I’m sorry...that I can’t do this alone…

---

I know, Mercy wanted to hiss, far too much of a mess to actually form words. She reached out for the bag and took his hand instead, dragging herself closer to the door. But what else am I supposed to do? Who do I have to confide in? Everyone's dead. They're gone. I'm never going to get them back. I'm alone, I'm empty, I'm hurting and I want to die...just let me die...

She squeezed his hand, continuing to hyperventilate. She hadn't forgotten about the bag, nor did she plan to use it--as desperate as she felt in that moment, her pride was far too deeply rooted to hold a paper bag to her face like a wimp. The hunter would rather faint.

Having his hand was calming. Shaking, she knitted her fingers with his, willing herself to calm down before she overbreathed herself into unconsciousness. Predictably, it did nothing but make her start to panic more as she realized coming down from this on her own was nigh impossible.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I know this is my fault, I know I should be stronger, I know I'm causing you pain...why are you trying for me?! Why are you trying when I'm doing this?! Why can't you...let me...

D*mmit, I-I'm not worth it, so just...stop. Please.

Faqir released a sigh, squeezing Mercy’s hand. “Atta girl. Deep breaths, it’ll...I’m here and I’m not losing you to this. I will f*cking yank that depression out of you and carry it myself if I have to, I’m not losing you to this.”

Why can’t I have your courage? Why can’t I have your strength?

Suddenly remembering a comment Faqir had made to Madoka before the fourth trial, Madoka took a deep breath and asked, “When did you become so cool?”

Faqir chuckled hoarsely. “...When I had to, good luck charm.”

That’s right…

You’ve done it too, Madoka. You did it once, you can do it again.

“Come on, Mercy, just hang in there by the skin of your teeth,” Faqir nearly begged. “If you can just hold on until we make it out of this place, everything will work itself out. I’m...I know I screwed up, I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you, I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have pushed you, but it’s...a learning experience, right? I’ve learned from this and I won’t push you next time. Now you just gotta make sure there’s a ‘next time’ for me to learn for, right? I’m not leaving you. Deep breaths, deep breaths. I still gotta treat your neck.”

Madoka sniffled. Her neck…? Is that where…

Oh gosh, Mercy, I’m so sorry.

Take it out on me. Don’t take it out in yourself, please...take it out on me. Take it out on me like Levi did. H-he ended up alright, didn’t he? So the answer is obvious.

Just take it out on me.

---

Mercy shook her head, still clinging to Faqir's hand. Using her foot, she opened the door up completely, gathering enough strength to move forward and fall into his arms, shuddering. Her head continued to pound and her throat felt like it was on fire. Rough fabric continuing to rub against her cut, she hissed, tearing it away from her neck.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so...

Wait. Wait. Is that...?

"N-no," she somehow choked out, panic returning. She shoved away from Faqir and Madoka, sobbing. I told you. I told you not to tell anyone, I told you I didn't want them to worry, that I--n-no, why...

Mercy brought her knees to her chest and tugged at her hair, somehow managing another scream.

Why would you bring him?

She dug her nails into her scalp, not having the strength or breath to scream again, but desperately wanting to. She sobbed even louder instead, faintness worsening.

Why won't you let me die?!

Madoka’s breath caught in his throat.

I-I...again...why do I…?

G-God in heaven...can I...come home?

“M-Mercy, I…” Faqir glanced sidelong at Madoka, who drew away and buried his face in his hands. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...it just came out, I-I was scared and I was worried about you and I guess after it already came out I just...I didn’t want to do this alone. I-I’m sorry, no one else knows, I just…”

I-I don’t want to keep getting in everyone’s way...I’m holding everyone back…

“I know you said...God, I was an idiot, I know, y-you can f*cking stab me if you want, I...I’m so sorry, this was all my fault…”

No, no it wasn’t. It wasn’t your fault. It was mine.

I-I don’t want to...do this...p-please…!

Faqir reached a tentative hand out towards Mercy’s, shaking.

I...a-ahh…

“M-Mercy,” he choked out, hating the hoarseness of his voice, “I...p-please…”

I want to be selfish. I-I’m too weak.

“S-someone…kill me...”

---

No...no, no, no! No!

Mercy wheezed, shaking her head.

He can't die. No. No. No, I'm not losing anyone else, I don't want to see anyone else die, I don't want to do this anymore...! Why am I so weak?! Why am I doing this to everyone?! If you'd just let me die, no one would have to suffer like this! I wouldn't have to suffer!

She screamed again, feeling as though she was going to pass out any second now.

Ignore me. Help Madoka. Please. Please. Please...I don't matter this much...I don't want to live anymore, but you can't--there's no way any of you can die.

"M-M...M-Madoka, p-please..."

Please don't say that, Madoka. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...

Stop.

Can’t I just be selfish…?

Faqir heaved, cramming both hands over his mouth. He convulsed once, then swallowed, trembling.

“Both of you stop it!” he cried. “Mercy, l-listen, we’re going to get through this...Mado, don’t you give up on me now, w-we can still get out of here!”

An unfamiliar rage bubbled up Madoka’s throat. “Don’t you get it? We can’t get out of here until you get rid of me!”

“What?!” Faqir reached one hand towards Mercy and the other towards Madoka, quivering. “That is not true, why would you even think that?!”

“J-just look at me!” Madoka sobbed, covering his eye with his hands. “I-I’ve done nothing but hold everyone back! I-it’s all been my fault, e-everything is my fault!”

“None of this was your fault, okay?! I’m the one who couldn’t keep my d*mn mouth shut!”

“No, stop…” Madoka let out a sob, leaning into the wall. “I...I-I killed Eriko! I killed her!”

There was an instant rush of relief as soon as Madoka started shouting. Desperate for more, he continued.

“I-I was a filthy coward and I made her pity me, and now because I made her go to Clair and then left her--because I was selfish--she died and Mercy broke! Th-then I spent so much time getting everyone worried about Clair that we ignored Lottimelia and she committed suicide, a-and I was too weak to stop Yuno from killing herself...I-I couldn’t stop Romano from getting himself executed, and then I couldn’t protect Fauss and Levi and they both broke! I got Levi mad at me and I let Fauss break because I was so hung up on myself and because of that, V-Viv...Viv k-killed Finnian because of me a-and she doesn’t have a portrait! A-and then I-I made Mercy upset again and I-I couldn’t stop Levi and Fauss, I-I just got my eye taken out like the weak burden I am, n-now Levi won’t talk to Fauss anymore because of me and I made Graham take care of them because I-I was too weak to h-hold myself together, th-then I hid in the kitchen and Faqir didn’t mean to tell me, i-it was my fault f-for being there in the first place! And now I just had to go and make everything even worse just by existing! S-so don’t you get it? I’m not a good luck charm, I-I’m a bad luck charm! All these terrible things are still happening because I’m still here! You’ll never get out of here so long as I’m still around, s-so please, l-let me be useful for once and please kill me!”

“M-Mado…” Faqir swallowed. “D*mmit, this is exactly what I meant, I-I...I knew you weren’t okay! L-listen, Madoka, none of that was your fault, please...j-just hold on, I swear, we can still…”

Madoka couldn’t hear the rest of what he said. His mind blocked out the words of the others, focusing only on his own thoughts.

I want to help you. I want to be useful. No one needs me, so it’s okay. No one needs me like you need Mercy and Mercy needs you and you and Graham need each other and like Fauss needs Levi and Levi needs Fauss. No one needs me.

I’m too cowardly and weak to do it myself, so please…

Break this bad luck charm before it’s too late.