Yume

”I give up…. There’s nothing left now…

Yume repeated the sentence in her head as she walked over the muddy ground. She trudged over fallen branches in shoes with worn-out soles. However she didn’t care for the state of the shoes, there were far too grave matters to deal with… things she was tired of dealing with. Her eyes looked around lifelessly as sodden leaves fell from trees. Some hit and scratched her arms as they made their way down as everything did because of gravity.

Gravity, how nice eh? It had such a power that it could bring anything down. That’s how she wanted it to happen she wanted to fall. At least then maybe she could find some happiness. ”No there’s no happiness for me” She reminded herself. Since that event, she convinced herself. She didn’t deserve any happiness. There was no hope for her, everyone was a constant reminder.

”It should have been you”

“It’s all your fault”

“You’re just a monster”

“Do us all a favor a die”

”Die….” she repeated. Would that make the pain go away? She wondered. Everyone would be better off if she were gone, she knew that for a long time. That time, long ago when there were two. That time when she was happier and would smile all the time that time was gone forever. She had forgotten how to smile. She didn’t deserve to smile.

”It should have been me” She whispered as she neared the edge of the forest. The trees were so thick, and were much harder to get through but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t deal with. At home, if it could be called that, there certainly was no heart. She was just a burden to everyone there, a waste of space. They would be so much happier with her gone.

At school, she had nothing but a desk full of cruel words, a locker stuffed with trash, books soaked with mop water and a torn up uniform with paint she couldn’t remove. Everyone would be able to pay attention more if she weren’t there.

Yume stepped free of the trees as stared out at the scenery around her. For a moment, she felt like it was so beautiful. The scenery was amazing. Couples could come up there to declare their everlasting love, families could come to enjoy the sunset, but for Yume there was only one use of the cliff.

Death

She walked towards the edge almost mechanically. All the thoughts that haunted her came upon her all at once causing fresh tears to mix with the ones rain had created. ”I’m sorry brother” she whispered to her unseen memories. She stepped closer, now she was able to see over the edge. Her long brown hair clung to her body as if afraid of what was to come, but she held no fear. Only regret. She slowly turned her body around standing with her back to the edge of the cliff ready to take the step that would make everything right.

”If I can’t be happy…then I shouldn’t exist She whispered lifting her foot. She glanced around taking what she thought would be her last breath. Then from the corner of her eye she spotted something. Curious she placed her foot back down and tried to get a closer look. A form lay on the edge of the cliff beside her.

Forgetting her task she stumbled towards it and gasped. ”A c-cat!!?” the cat looked to be dead with how badly it was beaten and bruised. No normal cat could live in such a state. But as she looked on closer she could swear she saw its chest move. She had no particular love for cats, nor did she hate them but as she looked at the one lying before her, she felt she saw herself.

For the first time she felt she was needed for something. Without help, the cat would surely die. She had seen no one out here; no one would come to the cliff in the rain but her. If she didn’t help him, he’d die. She was filled with compassion for the creature as she abandoned the cliff and went to pick him up.

She lifted him in her arms gently, careful not to cause him anymore harm. Then, with one last longing look at the cliff she turned with the cat in her arms and made her way towards the forest path. Before she knew it she was running all the way back to the town who hated her, it was as if a prayer had been answered, as if some thing or someone had told her

She had something to live for.