Snippet #1533875

"You cheated. Do it again.”

I laughed and re-situated myself on top of the counter. I don’t get why Evan has me repeat it almost ten times; like the first five wasn’t enough. He thinks that because almost no one else can do it--I shouldn’t be capable of doing it either. It’s tying a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue; not breathing fire.
But I like it. When he doesn’t believe I did it right, and then tells me to do it again like fifty-freaking-times more. It means he underestimated me, and that might mean that he doesn’t know me like I know he does. Because sometimes I think about that night, and it makes me sick. Sick that I told him about that. Sick that he’s okay with it.

“See?” I held the knotted stem out.

He narrowed his eyes, not fully believing. He hopped off the island and tentatively plucked it out of my hand. I leaned back a little, careful not to hit my head on the corner of the cabinet; awaiting the ‘do it again.’

“I'm starving! Who's paying?"

I jumped, caught off guard by the new voice in the kitchen. Evan didn’t bat an eye. (That’s because they were too busy on Luke’s chest. ) But I guess I couldn’t blame him on that one.

“I’ll pay.” I said. And even though I said it as a suggestion, it was really a statement.

Which wasn’t much of anything. It just meant that I knew Evan wasn’t going to offer anything, and that Luke could use his money on better things than pizza. And also because I got a trust fund that could buy this apartment building and fifty more. And these aren’t no run-down apartments either, not to brag or anything, because Luke and Phae do help with the rent. Not like they have to. My family is wealthy, and even though I’m not their favorite son; I’m their only. Doesn’t mean they have to see me, but they do help out. They’re good people. They really are.

“Phaedon.”

Now that scared me. But I didn’t jump, or blink. It was more of a, ‘Evan-is-getting-the-door,-Evan-is-an-douchebag,-and-he’s-after-Phae’ sort of scared. I knew I was overreacting, but you know what? I deserve to overreact every once in a while. And when it comes to Phae or Luke, I can overreact all I want. Plus you haven’t seen Phae cry. Not saying that I have, but the thought alone was enough for me to drift to kitchen sink and keep my head down. I busied myself with ordering the pizza as Evan let Phae in, and Luke sprawled himself out on the couch.

I can’t say that it didn’t bother me, cause it did. I guess it was because it was Phae. If it was Luke, it might be a different story. Luke and Phae were both almost painfully nice, but they each had this thing about them that brought something out in you. Phae constantly brought out what I think is my worst side. He tugs on the foundations that keeps me sturdy, and plays with the strings that keep me from crying at all the things I want to. He exhales nothing but tattered affection, and I could suffocate in it.

And then there’s Luke. He’s the one who’d convince me to do something I’m completely against with just a ‘Tailor.’ He makes me believe in humanity just a little while longer. That there’s a bit of beautiful underneath all the ugly. I couldn’t compare to him, but that’s alright. Because he doesn’t care, and I think that’s why I feel okay around him. Everything’s okay around him. They're better than I'll ever be, and it's alright.



Hey. I’m suuuuper bored right now and Monika isn’t being any fun. You busy cause I need someone to hang out with today. Maybe see a movie…. Most likely see a movie. Yes, that sounds like fun.

And then there was Viena; you shouldn’t even get me started on him.

I cant. Sorry. You could come over for pizza, though? Unless you want to break my heart. Then you can just say no. I’d just eat self-pity food and watch soap operas all night. no worries.