Snippet #1536708

“Ahahaha. Kalle’s an evil little munchkin to me anyway. I’ve never done anything to him. He’s so cold to me Nika and he’s so nice to you. I complain that you’ve stolen my sibling,” I muttered almost in defence even though right after he defended me. I can’t say that I am that responsible because I had at one time tried to ride my bike after I’d swallowed down half a bottle of coke and vodka. Needless to say it was a hilarious moment and even I laugh at it still. I’m an idiot most of the time. A real one. One of those ones that know what they’re doing is stupid but still does it anyway because they can get away with it. Yes, I know that it’s stupid to slide down the railing because I might fall and split my skull open but I’ll still do it and I’ll get a concussion but the fact is I did it when no one else would. I’m that guy. Impulsive and not very well planned out when it comes to getting things done. Prime example would be when I broke a kid’s nose in high school because he was making fun of my brother. There were better ways to get the job done but honestly at the moment breaking a part of his face seemed like the best option for me.

I know I’m excused when Monika moves to put the crackers in the oven and as I leave I pass my hand through Aija’s hair and get a sneer. I sneer back because I’m oh so mature and laugh when she pouts for her look didn’t work the way it should have. Sorry sweety, life sucks don’t it? Well for her it does because unlike my younger step-brother I don’t treat her like Queen of the castle. She wants to act like a boy she’ll be treated like one and that means she’ll need some tough skin. Aija doesn’t have that. Kalle does. I once told him I thought he was the equivalent of a retarded sea sponge and he’d come back twice as hard by saying I wasn’t even capable of beating a star fish at the simple task of living. He’ll be a strong one. I don’t know as much about those four but what I do know is from what I do to make them stronger mentally and everything else I learn from Monika. Like how well Raimonds is doing in school and how he brought home his first perfect mark test last week. Things like that, the things that I should know I don’t know because I don’t pay much attention. I bet the world could catch fire and I’d just state how hot it was instead of the fact that everything is on fire. Now that I say that I’m probably going to pay attention but the fact remains that I don’t look at the details but the big picture. Isn’t the fire the big picture? Not to me, I’m not on fire so I don’t care.

And that makes me seem like an asshole but aren’t we all a little asshole-ish when it comes to our own benefit? Except Monika.... He’d try and save people instead of himself.

The buzz of my phone in my pocket after I collapsed onto my bed is irritating but I’d asked for it when I’d sent out the text. Ksenia had sent a confirmation so that was an all go and I did not reply back because my showing up at that little ranch house that looked so peaceful would be answer enough. I always imagine what it would be like if we ever lived in one. Monika would buy a nice sized house but we’d have lots of pastures and little dogs that we sell to people who want to give them good homes. We’d have ponies and horses and even a cow or two because face it.... Cows are fucking awesome. It would be a simple life of taking care of animals and tending to our gardens and just being one of those families. Seems nice. I’d agree to it if he ever offered because only for Monika and my family would I dump the city life I love so much and move out into the country where the next neighbour is a mile away. But moving onto the next text which is from Tailor I laugh when I read it and think of a response that I can give that will totally shove in his face everything that I am. I am me. No, so cliché. Never again. Please, kill me if I ever say anything so cliché. Although, my text is going to be cliché so.... Just. Whatever.

Aww. I’m going to miss pizza?! But as much as it hurts I’ll have to say no. I have a date. So, for me my Love, enjoy your self-pity food and soap operas. ;D

I enjoy Tailor’s company probably, mostly, because I know I can keep a secret from him and he won’t question it at all. He has his own and I respect that. We are made by our pasts and should we not wish to share those then let it be said as so. I don’t mind not knowing everything about him and I sure as hell hope he doesn’t mind not knowing everything about me. There’s a lot to know. Many of those things probably aren’t the best for people to know which is why I don’t tell people because no one should be bombarded with the dark thoughts that swirl in my head. Mm, swirl. Ice cream. If it wasn’t so cold I’d go for some of that right now. And, I’d find the most interesting ice cream I could and probably just for fun cover it with chocolate and offer some to Ksenia even though I know he can’t eat it. Just the look in his eyes would be entertainment enough for me for the day. Not that I would enjoy if he got mad at me because he’s my best friend and mad best friends are worse than mad family members. Your family will always be your family but your friends can stop being your friends. That thought in itself is a little scary.

We have two cars. One for when we don’t have to drag the kids along and one for when we do. The car we use for just us is a two door, light blue Mercedes that Monika and I saved up for, for nearly three years from when I was seventeen and he was sixteen. It’s sleek and beautiful and fast not that I’d drive it that fast anyway. One time thing and Monika had thrown up after so I vowed never to do it again. That and we’d nearly crashed twice. Life flashing before my eyes, I’ve experienced that twice in one day. The other car is a black four door Ford that has two seats in the trunk that pop up so that two of them can sit and face backwards. Raimonds and Niko have those claimed from the first time and no one else bothers to even try and sit in them. Not that we would because not only would Niko cry but Raimonds would ignore everyone for a week and he has the best child voice in the world. Really. If you heard it you would get it. So, obviously I’m taking the two door because I don’t have any kids with me and I want to look awesome when I pull up in his driveway. I always do. No, I’m kidding. I’m not that egotistical. At least I’d like to believe that I’m not. Damnit, maybe I am.

Heated seats rock – makes the drive that much more comfortable. Fifteen minute drive cut in half when no one is on the roads. So, I’ll be there in maybe ten if the stop lights work with me. But they probably won’t because life hates me for being such a.... Bitch to everyone. I’ve got the ass hat on- man. I really bag on myself don’t I? Oh well, not like anyone else is going to do it. Maybe someone will one day. I mean, seriously, already I’ve stopped four times for like two minutes each time and I’m not even half way there. “I fucking hate stop lights,” I mutter. I bet they can hear me... I just ruined my chances of making it there in that ten minute time frame I was hoping for.