Snippet #1785137

Jas stood there amid the ridicule and sighed. He knew that everyone made fun of him behind his back. They spoke of his poor lesson plans, his eccentricities, and even his ethnic nose. He was a pariah in the academics. He felt himself sinking inside; he almost sank on the outside, too, but he fell into a slouch instead. Then Dark Snow ran into the staff room - she meant to murder him for the crimes he had committed against her desk! But no, all she did was smile at him, then laugh, and laugh, and laugh. He was lost in that laughter, circling around her sinister aura, knowing that soon he would be swallowed whole.

Suddenly, she spoke. Her words were punctuated with a strange growl. It went like this: Hic! Hiiiiiiiiic! Hic! She was unhinged! He didn't register her words at all, well not at first. Then they came to him, slow and unyielding. There was one member of staff that Jas adored and that was the headmistress. While she was stern, strange, and smelt like a cheese trapped within a greek tragedy, she was most importantly the enemy of his enemy and thus, as the saying went, his friend.

Thankfully there was more than one door into the staff room - he slipped out of the one furthest from Dark Snow. As he walked, he began to think about the teachers who were in the staff room. Bryonna was the one who had poked fun at him and his "choice" of clothing. She referred to herself as Bryon, but that sounded like a boy's name! Her hair reminded him of Legolas from the Ford on the Rinks movie he had heard so much about. He didn't understand what the hype was about a ford on an ice rink (he had never seen it, admittedly, just the promotional clips).
Are short people with hairy feet better at ice skating than the taller non-hairy variety of person?
He wondered absent-mindedly, before returning to the original topic on his mind. He would never admit it, but Jas stared at Bryon's bum whenever she left a room. He felt really bad about it; he knew that Lalita would destroy him if she found out (so he presumed). At any rate, he didn't really understand what Bryon did there at the school. Jas knew that it involved a lot of computer access. He remembered that much because of that one time he accidentally dropped a xylophone on one of her students. The resulting chaos caused a laptop to slide across the hall floor and tumble down the stairs.

Has she forgiven me for that?
He thought. Thankfully Jas' xylophone had gone unharmed, although it was a lot heavier than he had estimated. It had broken that student's arm, after all.
Or maybe my falling on top of him had something to do with that?

Jas shook his mind of those thoughts and then slipped into thoughts about Kelly Stevens. She was a cohort in Dark Snow's evil plan, or so he was starting to think. But it didn't really fit her. He always saw her galloping about being a saint to her students. However, In the staff room she seemed jittery. It was probably the excessive amounts of coffee she drank. Everyone knew how much she liked coffee and whenever the coffee ran out, the staff members turned their eyes to her; and there she would be, enjoying the last cup of hot, delicious brew (true story!). Thankfully Jas was not one such staff member in need of coffee. Her hair reminded him of horses and she taught Mathematics. He had this funny theory about Mathematics teacher: he believed that they were the best people to ask for lottery ticket numbers. In keeping with this theory, he had went to her classroom several times to get help with his number choices. He never actually asked her for help, though.

His memories of Kyle Lion (Mr. Rawr) were not especially pleasant ones. It's not like he feared Kyle Lion. It was more along the lines of hate. Yes, Jaswinder Jakkamsetti hated Kyle Lion - mostly because he was jealous. He was jealous of Mr. Rawr's magnificent grasp on the English language - Jas still had some difficulties with words like pineapple and pinnacle (or was it lackadaisical and portcullis?). It wasn't his native language, after all. Kyle's accent was attractive, whereas Jaswinder's accent was the sort befitting bobble heads and racially motivated jokes about India. Plus, he rode a motorcycle! Jas found this aspect of Kyle dangerous and immature. Jas also understood how cool it made Mr. Rawr. He wanted to be cool, too!
And don't get me started on his swagger. . .
Jas thought, sighing. There was one thing about Kyle that he didn't understand and that was his forearm tattoo (Jas hated tattoos, incidentally); it said "Forgiven".
Forgiven for what? Did he murder someone? Rob a bank? Sacrifice himself for a bunch of sinners and rise from the dead three days later?
Jas considered. It aggravated him that Kyle would put something so ambiguous on his body. He found Kyle all too mysterious - plus, he hated his personality. His personality was like spring in Pompeii demolished by Mount Vesuvius. Yeah, it was that bad.
Plus, I think he is a little racist. . .

Jaswinder texted his wife. It was a strange thing - texting. He didn't talk to her much so texting seemed like the natural alternative to their communication habits, but he liked the relationship the way it was and felt texting was a danger to the status quo. So, to prevent such relationship damaging conversation, he developed codes. The code he sent now was,
"Code Chicken Burst".
Jas went to a chicken farm once. He couldn't recall now as to why he was at the chicken farm that day, but that was not the point of this story. When he was there, the farmer had taken them to see the coop. But instead of seeing hens laying their eggs, one of the hens exploded in a flurry of feathers and nasty bits. The farm owner said that this was a normal occurrence, so Jas didn't question it too much. However, the wardrobe for that day was completely ruined like it had been today. This code told Lala that he needed a change of clothes. He sat outside and waited for her, but she appeared rather quickly after the text had sent. This was good; he didn't have to endure all the pointing and snide remarks. Jas opened the car door and sat down in the passenger seat.

Lalita passed him a backpack as she eyed his current attire carefully. She rubbed her thumb along one of the stains for a moment.
"We're going to have to throw these out," She said as casually as money laundering,
"Good thing I bought an extra pair. You'll have to get it down from the attic once you get home."
He smiled in that way he did when he was sorry for an inconvenience and a little embarrassed. She nodded, placing her hand over his and squeezing it tight. Then he started taking his shirt off and she had to stop him, pulling it back down.
"Jas, remember what I told you about appropriate changing locations? This isn't one of them." She said. He gave a displeased grunt: he had never been very embarrassed about changing. In fact, he had a bad habit of changing in an area not suitable for such. Still, he knew Lala was right about most things. They stared into each other's eyes a moment, then he stepped out of the car. She drove off and he went inside.

Appropriate places to change . . . Behind a tree plant? No. In the stairwell? No. Elevator? I wish! On the roof? Seems a bit much. . .bathroom it is!
With that decided, he went to the boy's restroom and began to undress. Unfortunately, before he could put on the new clothes, three students walked into the restroom. He waved absentmindedly at them, not really registering the gravity of the situation. They said some things, laughed a bit, and fled; he was confused by that. The clothes he changed into were very casual and not something he felt was appropriate for a teacher: it looked like he was one of the students! He put on the backpack and walked out. He was immediately accosted by a teacher.
"What are you doing?" The teacher said. Not sure what to say, Jaswinder said nothing. This seemed to infuriate him even more.
"I'm going to tell the principal on you and they'll contact your parents!"
"Wha. . . huh? What? But whatever you do, do not contact my parents by telephone! It will be a disaster!"
"Aha!" The teacher said. "That is exactly what I'll do!"
"No, you mustn't!"
"I will!"
"I'm innocent of all crimes! Well except for the bleach - and I think I just stripped for a bunch of thirteen year olds. . .but otherwise quite innocent!"
"You what!?" The teacher said, quite shocked.
"Oh don't worry about it, I'm a teacher." Jas explained, although he had left any proof of this in his classroom.
"Aha! Impersonating a teacher now, are we? I'll just add that to the list of things I'll tell your parents." He said and then he stomped off.

He was a rather old man - Jas was pretty sure that he was about to be retired. In fact, wasn't it next week or tomorrow? Either way, Jas saw it as a good thing that the teacher was leaving the high school - he was clearly senile. Jas heard his phone beep from inside the backpack. He pulled it out. It was a reminder of the staff meeting about to happen soon.
Hopefully I won't get in trouble for the various discrepancies I have committed today. . .
Jas thought as he went to his classroom to grab his work satchel. When he came out of his class, satchel at the ready, he found himself in a thicket of zombies. Well, students dressed as zombies.
"Hey Jas!" Rainbow girl said, now Rainbow Zombie. Jas wasn't sure what to say to a bunch of zombies.
"I came by to show you my toupée of zombies!" She said. Her zombie troupe clawed at doors and passing students.
"Um. . .I think you meant troupe. Unless the lot of you are here to cover up a giant zombie's baldness?"
"Oh," Rainbow Zombie said, embarrassed. Her troupe snickered at her wildly. "Yeah, troupe."
Jas and Rainbow Zombie stood around awkwardly. What was he supposed to say? Congratulations on your brainlust? It wasn't even Halloween!

"Why are all of you dressed like zombies?" Jas hazarded.
"Because zombies are awesome! We want to start an Undead Club, except minus the lame vampire cliche." Rainbow Zombie said.
"Yeah, we no want no sparkles in this hood!" A student said in an attempt to sound cutthroat. He managed stupid?
"I have a staff meeting to get to now. . ." Jas said.
"Oh. OK. We're going to go eat some cow brains to start adjusting our taste buds to synapses and squishy bits." Rainbow Zombie said. Jas nodded, slowly. The zombie troupe went to the elevator and Jas went toward the staff meeting.
Do we even have clubs?
Jas wondered idly. He'd have to ask someone about that later.