The path to the Aliengage was one familiar to her, having taking the twists and turns through Lowtown many times already. Though this time she was seeking answers of a different kind. So many questions flew through her mind, and the bags under her eyes were not making the processing any easier. She'd been out all night after all, fighting thugs, rogues, and Qunari, and her day had only began. Things were bound not to get any easier for her. Had a bandit attempted to accost her presently, chances his friends would not find him in one piece again, if at all. Luckily for the bandits, none found their paths crossed with the apostate. Before long, she'd found her path had taken her to the top of the stairs to the Alienage. A quick scan of the area proved that her goal, Amalia, in the same place as ever, under the Vhenadahl.
She walked right up to the Qunari and spoke, her tongue getting the better of her once again, "So when were you going to sew my lips and chain me?" She asked bluntly. She was unmoving, her eyes never leaving Amalia's own. She wanted answers. What had Amalia planned for her? Was she really going to make a Saarebas out of her? Leash her? In her current state, that's the only thing she could think, irrational as it was. Why else would a Qunari take her in? They were so blinded by their Qun that they'd sentence another of their kind to a personal prison in their own body just because the were born wrong. She wanted, answers, no, she needed answers. Unbeknownst to her, her hand had unconsiously made it's way to Ketojan's amulet.
Tension had rendered Aurora's footfalls much louder than they were normally, and this was perhaps the reason that the meditating Qunari opened her eyes at all, blinking slightly against the invading light. She met the incoming stare with what appeared to be nothing but placidity, blinking slowly and tilting her head just slightly to one side. An interesting place to choose to have this particular conversation, but it had been inevitable that the Imekari would learn of Saarebas eventually. This reaction was no less than she'd expected, though she would admit some curiosity as to how it had happened, particularly because she recognized the insignia on the amulet that now graced her student's neckline. She almost shot a glance up the tree she sat beneath, but chose not to. It mattered not to Amalia who overheard their conversation; her words were spoken always as the truth she knew, and she was not afraid of it.
"I never had such intentions. Nor do I now." Her intentions had always been much simpler than that. Of course, as with everything else, information that was not sought for would not be given out freely, and it was clear that if Aurora really wanted to understand what was going on in her teacher's headspace, she would have to ask the right questions, for the Ben-Hassrath remained silent thereafter.
Was that it? A simple no? That Qunari stoicism wasn't going to work, the simplicity of the answer only further agitating the mage. Aurora gave Amalia a couple of more seconds to explain herself further, but when it appeared that no further explaination was forthcoming, Aurora began again, "Is that it? No such intentions? What other intentions could there be!? I've seen your kind try to force a Saarebas into death for no other reason than he may be p- different," She caught herself. Possessed was not a word to be yelled out where prying ears lurked around every corner and up in every tree. "Why would I be any different? It might be the same for me for all you know. How do you know that I'm not changed. Your Qun demands my death, does it not?" She asked, Antivan accent coming through cleanly.
"And just what do you presume to know of 'my kind'?" Amalia asked softly, tone curiously devoid of anything but an echoing inquisitiveness. "What you have seen is one Saarebas, in one situation. By your logic, I could as easily condemn you for more than that. I have seen your kind slaughter for nothing but the shape of a man's ears or the number of coins in his pocket or the ideas in his head. Am I to hold you responsible for these ills because you willingly live in the society that allows them?" Still, there was no accusation in the words. The questions were gentle, prodding, as though Amalia were trying to lead Aurora to something in particular, in the softest way she knew how.
"They-- I.. They weren't my kind," She tried to defend herself, though her words sounded less than sure. Amalia had pulled the rug out from under her and turned the argument around on her. The sudden change had tripped her up as she was currently stumbling over her own words. "I mean... My kind are persecuted as well. Just not... Just differently. The... We are perscuted as well, chained in one place. If we aren't strong, if we fall, then we are put to death-- or worse. But we are all chained, we treat the elves and everyone the same where we come from," The circle. It was a flimsy defense, and she knew it but she had to try.
"And what of the Templars? Those who use their... differences in ways condemned? The point remains, however narrowly you choose to see yourself." Amalia paused, sighing quietly. This was not what she was after-- as long as Imekari came to understand that her generalizations were dangerous, that would be enough. "The Qun may have demanded his death. I was not there; I cannot say with certainty. But it does not demand yours. You are educated, taught somewhere to control your difference. I endeavor to provide you with what control you still lack. The Ashkaari wrote of the dangers of Saarebas, it is true. He advises us that they alone understand what it is like to perpetually struggle. This is something we are told to pity and respect in equal measure. A Saarebas is always chained, whatever his physical conditions. How this is interpreted... varies." Truthfully, it was one point on which Amalia and the majority of her comrades seemed to disagree. There was no mistaking that she had a distaste for demons, and would not hesitate to kill a person possessed. But it was also true that there were many paths, and all the Qun truly demanded was that magic be controlled. How was a separate question entirely.
Aurora looked away, utterly defeated. Her hand dropped from the amulet and she was quiet for a long while. Amalia was right. Bloodmages were treated different, even if she thought the reason just, it mattered little. She sighed and found herself in the role of student once again, listening to Amalia and her wise words. At the end, she found herself quiet once again for a while, not even daring to look back up into Amalia's eyes. Finally, she spoke, offering a set words said for the second time that day, "There are many paths." she offered. Ever so slowly, she was beginning to realize the true nature of those words. It'd be a while, if ever, if she'd ever fully understand them, though she was glad for them. Still, she had one more question.
Amalia very nearly smiled, one side of her mouth quirking up at the corner. "And yet, there is only one choice. It seems a paradox, does it not? Its resolution is the heart of the Qun. A chained being might be free, if they understand it properly. But so few do, even, I think, among my fellows."
"How am I chained then? If I am Saarebas, then what are my chains?" she asked.
"We are all bound by something, Imekari. I could tell you where I see yours, but it would do you no good. They are something you must discover on your own. I cannot do your growing for you." Amalia paused, assuming a thoughtful expression, before nodding to herself and standing. "I can tell you that people are often held back by themselves more than others. We must constantly reexamine that which we believe to be true. It is the sincerest form of vigilance. I can also tell you that it is an ongoing process and need not be completed today. You look as though some rest would do you well. Take it, and return to these matters later, if you wish. The world will still be here when you awake, and I doubt it will change much in the intervening time."
She nodded, the irritation and anger she'd felt earlier completely bled from her. There was something about the woman and her ability to open the doors in Aurora's mind. How easily she could teach her, even though Aurora's head was hard and her heart fiery. The role of teacher suited her, it suited her very well. Though, like all students, she had another question, and truthfully, she'd probably always have questions, though this question was different. Personal even. "If that is true. Then... Where are your chains? Aurora asked, finally looking the woman back in the eyes. She was curious, she did not seem like the one who was held back by themselves, in fact she seemed to be propelled by it. Though, she still wondered. If everyone was bound by something, what was she bound by? The Qun? It seemed too simple an answer...
The question surprised Amalia, not because it was irrelevant, but because she would not have expected Aurora to have the boldness to ask it. Perhaps she should have; if there was a word that characterized the young mage, 'bold' might very well be it. 'Brash' was also a contender. Nevertheless, she answered. It might be of some help, and that was enough. "Mine? They mostly lie in the past, that which cannot be undone. There are some things there that are difficult to let go of, and if I am not careful, they will inhibit progress forward. Still others exist simply because of what I am, and who I have chosen to be. We cannot help but create those, and only the most fickle of creatures pretends to be able to ignore them." The notion of complete freedom was absurd, in actuality, but this too was something that had to be discovered, and not simply learned, so she did not say it.
Aurora nodded along, listening intently. The past. Fair enough, and she wouldn't pry further. The past was a personal affair and did not deserve to be delved into by others. Her own was far from tulmutious. Though now was not the time for stories of the past. She nodded and said, "Then I will go.. think on these matters. After a nap. I've had a long night." She then stepped back to exit the alienage before curiousity took hold again and halted her progress. She hesitated for a moment, believing she'd already asked too many questions, but figured at this point, what was one more? She looked over her shoulder and asked, "One... More thing. What does Saarebas mean exactly?" Aurora asked, a bit of blush creeping into her complexion.
"It simply translates to 'mage.' More literally, I suppose it could be rendered as 'something which is dangerous,'" Amalia replied.
"Something which is dangerous..." Aurora said and then chuckled. For some reason, she liked that idea. "Something which is dangerous", her. It tickled her. Or it could be the tiredness that was creeping into her mind. Either way, the next stop was her home, more specifically, her bed. She turned one last time and waved, "Thanks," her last word before she left the alienage.
Ithilian was fairly certain the shemlen mage had not seen him lounging in the middle levels of the great tree, his eyes closed and his face hidden from the light under his headscarf. Sleep hadn't necessarily been his goal, but rather simply the opportunity to relax somewhere the city couldn't find him. The breeze that ran across his skin carried not the scent of the forest, but rather that of industrial factories and smoke, so it was not nearly so calming as a venture to the wild would have been, but it was better than nothing. It probably didn't come close to the level of calm that Amalia's meditation could reach, but it was enough for him.
The conversation had been none of his business and little of his concern, so he hadn't thought to interfere. Amalia had been more than capable of redirecting and then utterly defusing Aurora's rage. Apparently mages were not treated as Aurora preferred among the Qunari. Again, it was little of the elf's business. The Dalish had their own methods for handling magic, but the Qunari were not the Dalish, and Ithilian did not want them to be.
When could no longer hear her footsteps moving away from the Alienage, Ithilian took his cap into his hands, slipping his feet under him and onto the branch, solidifying his balance before he slid to the ground in two rapid and agile hops. "Perhaps not the wisest place for her to speak of being a mage," he commented off-handedly, though that was about all he wanted to say on the matter. "I've taken a job for a dwarf, an expedition to the Deep Roads. It is to depart in a few days. I should be gone from the Alienage for a few weeks." While it was perhaps not correct to refer to her as a friend, she was certainly far more than what he'd initially thought. It seemed like information she would be interested in knowing.
Amalia's brows furrowed, and she looked at her unlikely ally from the corner of one eye. It seemed an uncharacteristic sort of thing for him to do, truthfully, but she pretended to no knowledge of his innermost inclinations, only the ones he wore on his sleeves for anyone to see. "Is that so?" she asked, entirely rhetorically. Of course, as ever, it was not a waste of words if one examined it closely enough, and echoed her mild confusion in form if not intonation. "Then I suppose I will watch yours for a few weeks as I would watch mine." A pause. "My people know little of Darkspawn, but it is not hard to discern that they are dangerous to the unwary. Do not die, Sataareth." Another pause, this time as Amalia ran some mental calculations on the number of labor-hours she could devote to something she'd been working on.
"See me the day before you depart, if you are so inclined. I am in possession of something that might interest you."
"She isn't mine," Ithilian was quick to remind, though his tone was not harsh. "I would do well to remember that. As for the Darkspawn, it's a good thing that I'm not unwary." There was some amount of humor in his voice, but it was half-hearted at best. "Whatever you have for me, you can be sure I will put it to good use. I don't plan on dying in the Deep Roads of all places, merely clearing my head and getting my hands on some coin at the same time."
Amalia's tone was clearly one of considerable amusement. "I referred to all of them, Sataareth." And that was enough, really. She felt she'd learned a little something just then, but it was not her way to point such things out in the obvious way, nor ask questions about it. So she didn't, instead choosing to take her leave. She'd need to finish her task tonight, and then make a trip into Darktown.
She walked right up to the Qunari and spoke, her tongue getting the better of her once again, "So when were you going to sew my lips and chain me?" She asked bluntly. She was unmoving, her eyes never leaving Amalia's own. She wanted answers. What had Amalia planned for her? Was she really going to make a Saarebas out of her? Leash her? In her current state, that's the only thing she could think, irrational as it was. Why else would a Qunari take her in? They were so blinded by their Qun that they'd sentence another of their kind to a personal prison in their own body just because the were born wrong. She wanted, answers, no, she needed answers. Unbeknownst to her, her hand had unconsiously made it's way to Ketojan's amulet.
Tension had rendered Aurora's footfalls much louder than they were normally, and this was perhaps the reason that the meditating Qunari opened her eyes at all, blinking slightly against the invading light. She met the incoming stare with what appeared to be nothing but placidity, blinking slowly and tilting her head just slightly to one side. An interesting place to choose to have this particular conversation, but it had been inevitable that the Imekari would learn of Saarebas eventually. This reaction was no less than she'd expected, though she would admit some curiosity as to how it had happened, particularly because she recognized the insignia on the amulet that now graced her student's neckline. She almost shot a glance up the tree she sat beneath, but chose not to. It mattered not to Amalia who overheard their conversation; her words were spoken always as the truth she knew, and she was not afraid of it.
"I never had such intentions. Nor do I now." Her intentions had always been much simpler than that. Of course, as with everything else, information that was not sought for would not be given out freely, and it was clear that if Aurora really wanted to understand what was going on in her teacher's headspace, she would have to ask the right questions, for the Ben-Hassrath remained silent thereafter.
Was that it? A simple no? That Qunari stoicism wasn't going to work, the simplicity of the answer only further agitating the mage. Aurora gave Amalia a couple of more seconds to explain herself further, but when it appeared that no further explaination was forthcoming, Aurora began again, "Is that it? No such intentions? What other intentions could there be!? I've seen your kind try to force a Saarebas into death for no other reason than he may be p- different," She caught herself. Possessed was not a word to be yelled out where prying ears lurked around every corner and up in every tree. "Why would I be any different? It might be the same for me for all you know. How do you know that I'm not changed. Your Qun demands my death, does it not?" She asked, Antivan accent coming through cleanly.
"And just what do you presume to know of 'my kind'?" Amalia asked softly, tone curiously devoid of anything but an echoing inquisitiveness. "What you have seen is one Saarebas, in one situation. By your logic, I could as easily condemn you for more than that. I have seen your kind slaughter for nothing but the shape of a man's ears or the number of coins in his pocket or the ideas in his head. Am I to hold you responsible for these ills because you willingly live in the society that allows them?" Still, there was no accusation in the words. The questions were gentle, prodding, as though Amalia were trying to lead Aurora to something in particular, in the softest way she knew how.
"They-- I.. They weren't my kind," She tried to defend herself, though her words sounded less than sure. Amalia had pulled the rug out from under her and turned the argument around on her. The sudden change had tripped her up as she was currently stumbling over her own words. "I mean... My kind are persecuted as well. Just not... Just differently. The... We are perscuted as well, chained in one place. If we aren't strong, if we fall, then we are put to death-- or worse. But we are all chained, we treat the elves and everyone the same where we come from," The circle. It was a flimsy defense, and she knew it but she had to try.
"And what of the Templars? Those who use their... differences in ways condemned? The point remains, however narrowly you choose to see yourself." Amalia paused, sighing quietly. This was not what she was after-- as long as Imekari came to understand that her generalizations were dangerous, that would be enough. "The Qun may have demanded his death. I was not there; I cannot say with certainty. But it does not demand yours. You are educated, taught somewhere to control your difference. I endeavor to provide you with what control you still lack. The Ashkaari wrote of the dangers of Saarebas, it is true. He advises us that they alone understand what it is like to perpetually struggle. This is something we are told to pity and respect in equal measure. A Saarebas is always chained, whatever his physical conditions. How this is interpreted... varies." Truthfully, it was one point on which Amalia and the majority of her comrades seemed to disagree. There was no mistaking that she had a distaste for demons, and would not hesitate to kill a person possessed. But it was also true that there were many paths, and all the Qun truly demanded was that magic be controlled. How was a separate question entirely.
Aurora looked away, utterly defeated. Her hand dropped from the amulet and she was quiet for a long while. Amalia was right. Bloodmages were treated different, even if she thought the reason just, it mattered little. She sighed and found herself in the role of student once again, listening to Amalia and her wise words. At the end, she found herself quiet once again for a while, not even daring to look back up into Amalia's eyes. Finally, she spoke, offering a set words said for the second time that day, "There are many paths." she offered. Ever so slowly, she was beginning to realize the true nature of those words. It'd be a while, if ever, if she'd ever fully understand them, though she was glad for them. Still, she had one more question.
Amalia very nearly smiled, one side of her mouth quirking up at the corner. "And yet, there is only one choice. It seems a paradox, does it not? Its resolution is the heart of the Qun. A chained being might be free, if they understand it properly. But so few do, even, I think, among my fellows."
"How am I chained then? If I am Saarebas, then what are my chains?" she asked.
"We are all bound by something, Imekari. I could tell you where I see yours, but it would do you no good. They are something you must discover on your own. I cannot do your growing for you." Amalia paused, assuming a thoughtful expression, before nodding to herself and standing. "I can tell you that people are often held back by themselves more than others. We must constantly reexamine that which we believe to be true. It is the sincerest form of vigilance. I can also tell you that it is an ongoing process and need not be completed today. You look as though some rest would do you well. Take it, and return to these matters later, if you wish. The world will still be here when you awake, and I doubt it will change much in the intervening time."
She nodded, the irritation and anger she'd felt earlier completely bled from her. There was something about the woman and her ability to open the doors in Aurora's mind. How easily she could teach her, even though Aurora's head was hard and her heart fiery. The role of teacher suited her, it suited her very well. Though, like all students, she had another question, and truthfully, she'd probably always have questions, though this question was different. Personal even. "If that is true. Then... Where are your chains? Aurora asked, finally looking the woman back in the eyes. She was curious, she did not seem like the one who was held back by themselves, in fact she seemed to be propelled by it. Though, she still wondered. If everyone was bound by something, what was she bound by? The Qun? It seemed too simple an answer...
The question surprised Amalia, not because it was irrelevant, but because she would not have expected Aurora to have the boldness to ask it. Perhaps she should have; if there was a word that characterized the young mage, 'bold' might very well be it. 'Brash' was also a contender. Nevertheless, she answered. It might be of some help, and that was enough. "Mine? They mostly lie in the past, that which cannot be undone. There are some things there that are difficult to let go of, and if I am not careful, they will inhibit progress forward. Still others exist simply because of what I am, and who I have chosen to be. We cannot help but create those, and only the most fickle of creatures pretends to be able to ignore them." The notion of complete freedom was absurd, in actuality, but this too was something that had to be discovered, and not simply learned, so she did not say it.
Aurora nodded along, listening intently. The past. Fair enough, and she wouldn't pry further. The past was a personal affair and did not deserve to be delved into by others. Her own was far from tulmutious. Though now was not the time for stories of the past. She nodded and said, "Then I will go.. think on these matters. After a nap. I've had a long night." She then stepped back to exit the alienage before curiousity took hold again and halted her progress. She hesitated for a moment, believing she'd already asked too many questions, but figured at this point, what was one more? She looked over her shoulder and asked, "One... More thing. What does Saarebas mean exactly?" Aurora asked, a bit of blush creeping into her complexion.
"It simply translates to 'mage.' More literally, I suppose it could be rendered as 'something which is dangerous,'" Amalia replied.
"Something which is dangerous..." Aurora said and then chuckled. For some reason, she liked that idea. "Something which is dangerous", her. It tickled her. Or it could be the tiredness that was creeping into her mind. Either way, the next stop was her home, more specifically, her bed. She turned one last time and waved, "Thanks," her last word before she left the alienage.
Ithilian was fairly certain the shemlen mage had not seen him lounging in the middle levels of the great tree, his eyes closed and his face hidden from the light under his headscarf. Sleep hadn't necessarily been his goal, but rather simply the opportunity to relax somewhere the city couldn't find him. The breeze that ran across his skin carried not the scent of the forest, but rather that of industrial factories and smoke, so it was not nearly so calming as a venture to the wild would have been, but it was better than nothing. It probably didn't come close to the level of calm that Amalia's meditation could reach, but it was enough for him.
The conversation had been none of his business and little of his concern, so he hadn't thought to interfere. Amalia had been more than capable of redirecting and then utterly defusing Aurora's rage. Apparently mages were not treated as Aurora preferred among the Qunari. Again, it was little of the elf's business. The Dalish had their own methods for handling magic, but the Qunari were not the Dalish, and Ithilian did not want them to be.
When could no longer hear her footsteps moving away from the Alienage, Ithilian took his cap into his hands, slipping his feet under him and onto the branch, solidifying his balance before he slid to the ground in two rapid and agile hops. "Perhaps not the wisest place for her to speak of being a mage," he commented off-handedly, though that was about all he wanted to say on the matter. "I've taken a job for a dwarf, an expedition to the Deep Roads. It is to depart in a few days. I should be gone from the Alienage for a few weeks." While it was perhaps not correct to refer to her as a friend, she was certainly far more than what he'd initially thought. It seemed like information she would be interested in knowing.
Amalia's brows furrowed, and she looked at her unlikely ally from the corner of one eye. It seemed an uncharacteristic sort of thing for him to do, truthfully, but she pretended to no knowledge of his innermost inclinations, only the ones he wore on his sleeves for anyone to see. "Is that so?" she asked, entirely rhetorically. Of course, as ever, it was not a waste of words if one examined it closely enough, and echoed her mild confusion in form if not intonation. "Then I suppose I will watch yours for a few weeks as I would watch mine." A pause. "My people know little of Darkspawn, but it is not hard to discern that they are dangerous to the unwary. Do not die, Sataareth." Another pause, this time as Amalia ran some mental calculations on the number of labor-hours she could devote to something she'd been working on.
"See me the day before you depart, if you are so inclined. I am in possession of something that might interest you."
"She isn't mine," Ithilian was quick to remind, though his tone was not harsh. "I would do well to remember that. As for the Darkspawn, it's a good thing that I'm not unwary." There was some amount of humor in his voice, but it was half-hearted at best. "Whatever you have for me, you can be sure I will put it to good use. I don't plan on dying in the Deep Roads of all places, merely clearing my head and getting my hands on some coin at the same time."
Amalia's tone was clearly one of considerable amusement. "I referred to all of them, Sataareth." And that was enough, really. She felt she'd learned a little something just then, but it was not her way to point such things out in the obvious way, nor ask questions about it. So she didn't, instead choosing to take her leave. She'd need to finish her task tonight, and then make a trip into Darktown.