Charlesâ words surged through her body painfully and repetitively, like a dagger piercing her skin and her heart over and over again, her wounds were invisible but they were there all the same. They stung and ached and caused whatever strength she had left to leave her fragile body, it was similar to dying only the breath still remained in her lungs, her heart was beating painfully and her head was pounding uncontrollably, it was the closest she had ever felt to dying yet it was also the closest she felt to truly living. The sheer pain and weight of her emotions were beginning to crumble at the foundations of her hastily erected walls, how had she become so void so suddenly?
Harriet had spoken to Charles with words that she knew would hurt him, she had wanted to hurt him, make him feel some of the pain she was feeling in that very moment. She had wanted to take everything from him, herself, Cecily, the KingdomâŠthis babe, everything he so desperately wanted and needed, she had wanted to snatch away without a momentâs hesitation. The cruelness in Harrietâs heart for her husband made her stomach lurch with nausea, she loved him and yet all she wanted to do was destroy him. The feeling frightened her beyond belief but that fear only fuelled the fire within her soul, it nourished her anger and fed from her despair until she felt utterly hollow and in different towards Charles.
However as she watched Charles say his goodbyes to their daughter, their darling Lizzie, her emotions began to morph once again. âMy darling little girlâŠâ He had whispered, he had said that the very first time he had held her, Charles may not remember it but Harriet did. She had been so worried as to what Charles would say at her birthing a girl, if he held any anger or resentment he certainly hadnât shown it, his smile had lit up the room and the way he had tenderly held their first born had melted her heart. Now, those very words simply twisted her heart in an utterly agonising way, her breath once again felt dense within her lungs, âHeaven watch over you my sweet little girl.â The tears fell freshly then and all anger she had previously felt dissipated into the air with a heavy sigh, she felt remorse, she felt guilt, sorrow and tragedy, every unbearable emotions being experienced at once. Harriet had wanted to whisper her apologies, wanted to pull him into her arms and cry into his shoulder but for some unknown reason she just stared at him, the words never forming on her lips. Perhaps it was her pride which stood in the way, perhaps it was the despair which made her mute, either way she had let Charles leave with more words of what a terrible mother she was. Cecily, her darling angel, god what must she be going through right now? Harriet had left her suddenly and without explanation and the poor girl must be incredibly frightened as to what was happening, still she could not tear herself away from Lizzie. She had carried Elizabeth for nine months, for years she was one of the sole comforts in her life, her shining star when Charles had been away fighting a war she wasnât sure he would return from and now here she lay on her deathbed and the tender age of six, what kind of cruel injustice was that?
From the door Charles spoke once more, âAnd you are dead wrong, for I certainly could not live without you, nor could I find a woman like you again." Harrietâs heart clenched, her eyes closing, although the salty droplets of tears sunk through and down her cheeks. He was right, she was selfish, a horrible wife and a horrible mother, she had acted out of spite and now despised herself for it, she felt she could go mad with grief if her daughter hadnât needed her undivided attention.
Behind her George approached, his features as solemn as the ambiance in the room, he reached out placing a gentle hand upon his broken sisterâs shoulder. It had been almost heartbreaking for him to watch the scene between Harriet and Charles, they were two of the strongest people he knew, they loved and cared for each other deeply but Lizzieâs ultimate death was prying a wedge between them. He could see what was going to happen, instead of comforting one another they would turn against each other, blame each other, fight and scream and each call the other every degrading name under the sun. Charles would probably turn to women and hunting, Harriet to drinking and bitterness, they would tear each other apart and not even realise it before it was too late. Although he prayed to god he was wrong.
âBrother, please go and get mother and father, they-they need to say their goodbyes.â George could only nod, feeling his own tears prickle at his hues as he placed a kiss upon his sisterâs crown. âWill you be alright by yourself?â he asked, to which Harriet simply nodded. Turning towards the door, George hovered with his hand lingering upon the handle as he turned his head back towards his niece, saying his own silent goodbye before swiftly exiting the room.
Hours past and day turned into night, people came and went, each saying their silent goodbyes and Harriet never left Lizzieâs side. A few hours ago she had banned anyone else from entering the room, the beating of her childâs heart had become shallow and she knew the time was nigh. It was inevitable now, her darling Lizzie was going to die and there was absolutely nothing Harriet could do to stop it. She still sat in the same position and all though her back ached, her legs were numb and her arms were seizing, she still cradled Lizzie in her arms; not too long ago she too had lulled into a soft sleep and in her dreams she found the serenity she needed. They were all there, Charles, Lizzie, Cecily and herself, chasing each other around an old oak tree, smiles plastered upon each of their faces, they were a family. However at some point something, an unyielding force summoned her back towards reality, a chill crept up her spine the moment she opened her eyes.
Hattieâs face twisted in agony as she drew Lizzie into her chest, she could not breath, she could not believe, she could not do anything. Her heart shattered repeatedly as she shook her golden head, her tears streaming down her countenance of despair, her throat remained dry until a sharp blood curling scream echoed across the room.
Outside the mood was not pleasant, not one eye was left dry at the knowledge that the tiny Princess was close to death and how could they not be? Lizzie was a light in everyoneâs life, the thought of never hearing her laughter again or finding answers to one of her many questions was nearly unbearable.
Annabelle chewed her nail anxiously, she wanted to be in there with her daughter and grandchild but Harriet had banned them all not too long ago, saying Charles was the only one allowed in, but he had not been seen for hours, âhow was the King when you saw him last, George?â she asked in concern for her son-in-law.
âDevastated. You should have heard what they called each other mother, it was unbearable.â Annabelle could only imagine, no one would have coped well in this situation, but Harriet and Charles those two would have undoubtedly made the situation worse for the other. She was about to answer when a heart stopping scream resounded from the room, her eyes widened knowing what it had meant, their little Lizzie was dead.