"I did.." he said and she hated the look on his face so she let her eyes fall to the ground as she placed the cigarette to her lips and took another long drag. "It was sorta hard not to." he continued and she felt awful, he didn’t deserve the things Danny had just said.
It fell silent for a really long time and she almost wanted to walk away. Because she could say sorry but that wouldn’t fix anything and if she walked away she’d have to leave because she wasn’t going back to Danny, not right now, she couldn’t give him that satisfaction.
"You shouldn't listen to him, you know." His voice brought her from her thoughts and she finally looked up at him and, though she didn’t look him in the eyes as she continued to smoke her cigarette. "He's wrong. About you..about me. I do care about you..you know. You deserve so much better than him." she rolled her eyes at his words, he didn’t know her, how could her care about her. "You know..I think that Danny doesn't realize what a catch that you are. His loss. You are beautiful and so very talented. He'll just keep you down." He smiled and she finally forced herself to hold his eyes.
There was something warm about them, something so honest that it made her like him that much more. Just the way he looked at her made her want to be a better person and that scared her. She’d never been good enough, her whole life she was always trying to prove herself to everyone, that she wasn’t stupid and she was more than just a pretty face, yet with him, she didn’t have to prove anything.
“You don’t even know me.” She whispered as if she didn’t want to believe his words, she couldn’t believe his words. She wasn’t even sure he’d heard what she’d said over the music because her voice was so quite. “You’re wasting your time.” She said louder this time so he could hear her.
It was the honest truth, he was wasting his time caring about her, because eventually she’d hurt him, she’d let him down like she let everyone else down. If he got to close she’d run, because she was scared of letting people in. She was scared of being let down herself, because everyone she’d ever brought into her life aside from her best friends Jay J had always let her down and hurt her.
“Danny’s not wrong. Nobody cares about, that’s the honest truth.” She shrugged like it was no big deal. “You think you care…but I’m only playing you.” She lied, because the truth was, her feelings for him were real and she hated that she was starting to fall for him, but she couldn’t hurt him and so lying was the only way to protect him. “You deserve so much better then Hanna or me or even Nick.” She said holding his eyes and there was a rare truth in her eyes.
For the first time she was being honest with someone. She wasn’t bull shitting him or trying to play him. She was being honest with him, he was way too good for any of them. He’d go all the way to the top and she’d always be the girl that went back to Danny, because she was worthless.
“Your great guy Alec and I’m bad for you.” She sighed running her fingers through her hair, finally looking away and fighting back tears. “You were great tonight, don’t let Hanna ruin that for you.” She finally said.
Without another word she turned and headed towards the road to start walking home. She need something to get her mind off everything and more than anything she wanted to drink until she passed out or lock herself in her room and cry herself to sleep, because she hated who she’d become.