A week had came and went, and Haru had neither spoken to Ryoku nor had he tried discussing it with anyone. Many had tried, Naya and Kon being the two main perpetrators. Naya had almost torn his ear off the last time she'd confronted him. At the moment, he was lying on the grass, staring up at the sky as the clouds rolled by. He'd not returned to his usual habits in the passing week, and he had turned down every offer he'd received as well; that in and of itself was speaking volumes on the Akarui's state of mind.
Haru sighed, picking up on his sister's scent. He contemplated leaving, but it was Reiko. He was in no mood to talk, but then...Rei-rei always did know exactly what to say.
Reiko rubbed absently at the bruise fading on her temple and sighed. It was her own fault really. She could climb trees just fine, but she usually managed to fall out of them somehow. So much for trying to relax a little out in nature. Well, that was all right, because really there was something else that was considerably more urgent. She might have seemed like the last person to pick up on what was going on between Haru and their cousin Ryoku, but actually, sheâd been one of the first, many, many years ago now. Sheâd not thought to interfere, however, because it was something sheâd rather thought would come about on its own. They were both extroverted enough. But perhaps⊠perhaps when it came right down to it, they were just as vulnerable as everyone else. Perhaps they, like she, hid it well, only their disguise was a gregariousness and magnetism and reckless attitude where hers was silliness and clumsy airheaded tendencies. Itâs not that those disguises were false, only that they hid other parts of what was really there.
On some level, sheâd always known something like that was true of Haru. She just hadnât expected it to become a problem now of all times. So Kiko tracked him to where he lay, brushing her knee-length shorts and soft blouse free of the evidence of her earlier fall and settling down beside him. It was kind of hard to hug somebody like this, so she settled for insinuating herself into his side and laying her head over the steady beat of his heart. Kiko smiled softly, the expression a little bit sad. âIt doesnât sound broken,â she said softly. âBut then, they never do.â
Haru sighed. "It didn't break because I got rid of it a long time ago, so it couldn't break." Haru had long given up on ever falling in love; it was stupid and it got you hurt. He didn't want to feel like that, so instead he didn't let himself feel anything.
Yet it still hurt to be apart from Ryoku. That was his own fault. He'd let himself get attached when he knew he should have stayed away. He looped an arm underneath his sister, giving her a light squeeze. "So, what has brought my dear sister to me, for surely you have not come to talk about the state of my heart."
Reiko frowned, tilting her head to look up at him. âThatâs not true, Ruru. You still have a heart, I know you do. Youâre just very good at hiding it.â She knew, because she was the same. It wasnât that Kiko pretended not to have a heart, but rather that she pretended that nothing in the real world ever caught its attention in that way. It was easy, to act oblivious to everything but fairytales, and in some ways, it was even true. It was just not the whole truth, and this was her own disguise, her own protection. But⊠she didnât think he needed to hide his anymore, because she could see that the one he wanted to offer it to was there, and would accept it gladly, even offer his own in return. Now if only she could make her brother see that, she just might get to witness a real-life happy ending.
âAnd what if I did?â she asked quietly, a furrow forming in her brows. âWhat if I was worried about you, because I know you hurt, and I want to help make it better? What if⊠what if I told you that all you need to do is be brave one more time, take one more risk, and then you could have the things you canât admit you want?â He didnât have to admit anything to her if he didnât want, because she knew, and the way she was speaking about it was making it rather clear. Still, she could tell that he had no idea how close he was to happiness, if only he was willing to reach for it one more time.
Haru sighed heavily through his nose, his expression darkening slightly. He sat up then, the discussion turning in a direction he really did not want it to. "It's not that simple, Kiko." Ryoku didn't feel anything for him, despite their current...predicament. He kept telling himself that because it was easier than facing rejection.
"What makes you think he even remotely feels the same way about me, that I do him?" He blushed; he really hadn't planned on admitting that. Unfortunately Reiko had a knack for drawing things out of people.
Perhaps someone else might have laughed a bit at the sight of Haru of all people, shameless as he usually was, blushing, but Kikoâs face never lost the earnest, concerned expression, and she sat up with him, blinking wide, peridot-colored eyes at him. âBut it is that simple!â she insisted vehemently, taking one of his hands in both of hers. âIt really is!â She sighed, not really sure how she could make him see what she saw, and chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully for a little while. When she spoke again, it was with a little more gravity in her tone, and more seriousness than she was really known for possessing.
âI know that most people donât think I notice whatâs going on around me, and thatâs okay,â she said softly, meeting her brotherâs eyes and holding them. It really wasâshe didnât mind being thought of as a bit of an airhead and not much else. Because she knew it wasnât the truth, and that was usually enough. âBut I do see things, Haru. Things that youâre too close-up to see. Youâve never noticed the way he looks at you. Itâs not justâŠâ her cheeks pinked slightly, and she cleared her throat in an effort to avoid tripping over the words. âItâs not just sex, or lust. Not for him, and not for you.â Maybe it would help to explain it by comparison.
âHe looks at you like⊠like Uncle Hiki looks at Aunt Shizu.â It was indeed very similar, not exactly the same, but close. A mixture of desire, yes, but also a kind of vital connection, deeper than any simple wanting could ever be. It was a needing, or that was the closest word she had for it. Haru, on the other hand, most resembled their mother looking at their father. Reiko always noticed things like that. âI donât know what you said to him to make him avoid you, Haru, but it hurt him. Heâs hurting, just like you are, and donât you owe it to both he and yourself to see if you can make it right again?â She didnât want them to hurt anymore, not either of them.
âThis time, when you use your words, say what you really mean. Donât make him guess. Trying to guess at what someone else thinks all the timeâŠâ she smiled sadly. âItâs painful, and confusing.â Standing, Reiko tugged on her brotherâs hand so that he was, too. This time, when she hugged him, she did it properly.
Haru sighed. Perhaps everything worked out in his sister's little fantasy worlds, but not in reality. Not in his world. He stood when she tugged him upwards, and he wrapped his arms around her in return. He felt the back of his eyes burning; he wanted to say it, to tell him so much that it hurt. But he was too afraid.
"I...can try." two tears rolled down his cheeks as he tightened his grip on his sister. "Thanks, Kiko."
Haru sighed, picking up on his sister's scent. He contemplated leaving, but it was Reiko. He was in no mood to talk, but then...Rei-rei always did know exactly what to say.
Reiko rubbed absently at the bruise fading on her temple and sighed. It was her own fault really. She could climb trees just fine, but she usually managed to fall out of them somehow. So much for trying to relax a little out in nature. Well, that was all right, because really there was something else that was considerably more urgent. She might have seemed like the last person to pick up on what was going on between Haru and their cousin Ryoku, but actually, sheâd been one of the first, many, many years ago now. Sheâd not thought to interfere, however, because it was something sheâd rather thought would come about on its own. They were both extroverted enough. But perhaps⊠perhaps when it came right down to it, they were just as vulnerable as everyone else. Perhaps they, like she, hid it well, only their disguise was a gregariousness and magnetism and reckless attitude where hers was silliness and clumsy airheaded tendencies. Itâs not that those disguises were false, only that they hid other parts of what was really there.
On some level, sheâd always known something like that was true of Haru. She just hadnât expected it to become a problem now of all times. So Kiko tracked him to where he lay, brushing her knee-length shorts and soft blouse free of the evidence of her earlier fall and settling down beside him. It was kind of hard to hug somebody like this, so she settled for insinuating herself into his side and laying her head over the steady beat of his heart. Kiko smiled softly, the expression a little bit sad. âIt doesnât sound broken,â she said softly. âBut then, they never do.â
Haru sighed. "It didn't break because I got rid of it a long time ago, so it couldn't break." Haru had long given up on ever falling in love; it was stupid and it got you hurt. He didn't want to feel like that, so instead he didn't let himself feel anything.
Yet it still hurt to be apart from Ryoku. That was his own fault. He'd let himself get attached when he knew he should have stayed away. He looped an arm underneath his sister, giving her a light squeeze. "So, what has brought my dear sister to me, for surely you have not come to talk about the state of my heart."
Reiko frowned, tilting her head to look up at him. âThatâs not true, Ruru. You still have a heart, I know you do. Youâre just very good at hiding it.â She knew, because she was the same. It wasnât that Kiko pretended not to have a heart, but rather that she pretended that nothing in the real world ever caught its attention in that way. It was easy, to act oblivious to everything but fairytales, and in some ways, it was even true. It was just not the whole truth, and this was her own disguise, her own protection. But⊠she didnât think he needed to hide his anymore, because she could see that the one he wanted to offer it to was there, and would accept it gladly, even offer his own in return. Now if only she could make her brother see that, she just might get to witness a real-life happy ending.
âAnd what if I did?â she asked quietly, a furrow forming in her brows. âWhat if I was worried about you, because I know you hurt, and I want to help make it better? What if⊠what if I told you that all you need to do is be brave one more time, take one more risk, and then you could have the things you canât admit you want?â He didnât have to admit anything to her if he didnât want, because she knew, and the way she was speaking about it was making it rather clear. Still, she could tell that he had no idea how close he was to happiness, if only he was willing to reach for it one more time.
Haru sighed heavily through his nose, his expression darkening slightly. He sat up then, the discussion turning in a direction he really did not want it to. "It's not that simple, Kiko." Ryoku didn't feel anything for him, despite their current...predicament. He kept telling himself that because it was easier than facing rejection.
"What makes you think he even remotely feels the same way about me, that I do him?" He blushed; he really hadn't planned on admitting that. Unfortunately Reiko had a knack for drawing things out of people.
Perhaps someone else might have laughed a bit at the sight of Haru of all people, shameless as he usually was, blushing, but Kikoâs face never lost the earnest, concerned expression, and she sat up with him, blinking wide, peridot-colored eyes at him. âBut it is that simple!â she insisted vehemently, taking one of his hands in both of hers. âIt really is!â She sighed, not really sure how she could make him see what she saw, and chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully for a little while. When she spoke again, it was with a little more gravity in her tone, and more seriousness than she was really known for possessing.
âI know that most people donât think I notice whatâs going on around me, and thatâs okay,â she said softly, meeting her brotherâs eyes and holding them. It really wasâshe didnât mind being thought of as a bit of an airhead and not much else. Because she knew it wasnât the truth, and that was usually enough. âBut I do see things, Haru. Things that youâre too close-up to see. Youâve never noticed the way he looks at you. Itâs not justâŠâ her cheeks pinked slightly, and she cleared her throat in an effort to avoid tripping over the words. âItâs not just sex, or lust. Not for him, and not for you.â Maybe it would help to explain it by comparison.
âHe looks at you like⊠like Uncle Hiki looks at Aunt Shizu.â It was indeed very similar, not exactly the same, but close. A mixture of desire, yes, but also a kind of vital connection, deeper than any simple wanting could ever be. It was a needing, or that was the closest word she had for it. Haru, on the other hand, most resembled their mother looking at their father. Reiko always noticed things like that. âI donât know what you said to him to make him avoid you, Haru, but it hurt him. Heâs hurting, just like you are, and donât you owe it to both he and yourself to see if you can make it right again?â She didnât want them to hurt anymore, not either of them.
âThis time, when you use your words, say what you really mean. Donât make him guess. Trying to guess at what someone else thinks all the timeâŠâ she smiled sadly. âItâs painful, and confusing.â Standing, Reiko tugged on her brotherâs hand so that he was, too. This time, when she hugged him, she did it properly.
Haru sighed. Perhaps everything worked out in his sister's little fantasy worlds, but not in reality. Not in his world. He stood when she tugged him upwards, and he wrapped his arms around her in return. He felt the back of his eyes burning; he wanted to say it, to tell him so much that it hurt. But he was too afraid.
"I...can try." two tears rolled down his cheeks as he tightened his grip on his sister. "Thanks, Kiko."