Snippet #2488359

Arey was on the floor, lying on her back with an arm slung over her face as she panted, trying to catch her breath. She’d spent the last hour or so after changing into shorts and a t-shirt, beating into every bit of practice equipment she could possibly find for that purpose. The punching bag had taken the brunt of the assault, and the sword that laid out on the floor beside her, may have been used to stab it once or twice as she envisioned laying into Maighdlin. The anger she felt, the simmering rage, wasn’t completely her own, she understood that now. Exhaustion had a way of bringing clarity sometimes. Part of this was her anger over the situation. Part of this was jealousy from watching the Fae Queen fondle her boyfriend and pretty much tell everyone in sight that he was hers now too, via the connection he volunteered for. The other part though, that part that was driving her to unnatural levels of anger and violence, was Arthur. He’d watched the woman he loved choose another man, love another man, and it nearly drove him to the edge.

“God…” Arey groaned with a shuddering breath. “Why can’t you just keep your fucking problems to yourself?” That episode with Deirdre tonight had been bad enough, but now she was acting like a jealous ass to Tim. She wasn’t ok with what had happened tonight, but being angry at him wasn’t fair. If there was anyone to be picking a bone with here, it was Vivienne for putting him in that situation to begin with. Or Maighdlin. Yeah. She’d really like to pick a bone with her.

Maybe I’ll get the chance… Arey thought darkly.

Tim looked at Arey as she laid on the floor. Arin's heavy bag looked like it had been through a bit of a fight and Tim winced at the thought of explaining it to Arin. He approached Arey slowly.

"Hey...so...do you want to talk or..." He kept his voice low. He realized as much as he wanted to talk he was terrified that she was about to yell at him, tell him to go away and leave her alone for good.

Arey was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of Tim's voice. He sounded nervous, and not in the way she usually found adorably endearing. She didn't like hearing this kind of nervousness in his voice, or the knowledge that she was the reason for it.

"If you want." She said quietly, not sitting up just yet. Arey didn't quite feel ready for this conversation, but she couldn't just keep avoiding him about it either. "Sorry I'm being an ass..." She said offhandedly.

Tim shook his head. "I thought you might want to talk about the things bothering you but I can go. I just thought..." He frowned. "I just thought you shouldn't hold shit in and I hoped that if you were willing to talk to anyone it would be me. I guess...doesn't matter." He rubbed his face with both hands. "I wanted to explain why I did it but I also wanted to find out if I could make sure I..." He growled a little. "Look I fucked up, I know and I want to fix this but if you don't want to talk I can't force you."

Tim's shoulders slumped.

"Tim look I..." She sighed in frustration as she pulled herself up, forcing herself to talk about this for his sake. "I'm not really good about talking about feelings, at least when they're my own, and more than ever right now they're a jumbled mess I have to sort through and constantly second guess because I can't even be sure they're actually mine half the time." She tried to explain, patting the matted floor next to him in an invitation to sit.

Tim had a sinking feeling as he sat on the mat next to her. He wanted her to want to talk to him. He wanted her to want him close and his presence to be comforting, supportive not frustrating as it seemed to be. She was dealing with both her and Arthur, he got that. He saw it first hand and it gutted him that he couldn't help her.

"I understand. Everyone has more than one voice telling us what to do but that is what I am here for, to help you sort it all out."

"I know that. I just didn't want to hurt you. I'm not ok with what happened tonight, not even a little bit. Watching that...thing touch you like that I think nearly drove me into a frenzy, and I don't think that was all me if you know what I mean..." Arey said quietly, laying her hand over his in an attempt to comfort him. "That isn't your fault though. You should never have been put in that situation to begin with. I didn't want to say something to you that you didn't deserve thrown at you while I was like that...I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it first."

Tim closed his eyes as Arey said she wasn't happy about the events of tonight. Her hand was on his but it somehow made him feel worse than before. "It is Deirdre isn't it? I mean not her but it is Guin. I will always have to fight Arthur for you and I will always lose or at least have to watch you berate yourself. It is fine, I can lose out to him as long as you always remember I am here and I care for you. Tonight..." Tim shrugged. "I have a job on this team too you know and sometimes we have to do things that suck. I didn't like what she was doing but I had a role to play. D made a good deal and I wasn't about to let that get fucked up or let her seal it with Arin. That would have been really, really bad."

Tim looked over at Arey. "I would rather you say something than walk away from me. You were angry with me and there was nothing I could do about it, I couldn't even apologize. I am an ass Arey." He took both her hands. "I had to do it, had to do my job but I should have done something to assure you first."

"It's not like that." Arey tried to assure him when he talked about Deirdre. "It's not about me having feelings for Guin. I felt jealous over you, and then this tidal wave of possessive aggression came flooding in. Everything he felt when he was jealous over her. It's like this insane amplification effect that I can't control."

"And I know you were just doing your job, that's why I didn't want to make you feel bad for doing it. You're the one that had to endure that, and I knew what you had to do going in. You're not the ass here Tim, I am. If anything, I should have fought them harder to say no, and I am never letting them do that to you again. Ever." Arey finished, growling a little more vehemently. "I'm done watching God damn fae molest my boyfriend."

Tim looked at Arey, his eyes on her. "You and D, you guys need to figure out this past life stuff because it was not fun seeing either of you like that." He inhaled and moved to his knees. Tim shuffled towards Arey and gently pushed her backwards on the mat so he could look down into her eyes. His hands ran through her hair. "Arey, you are not an ass. You are just dealing with a lot and you take it all on yourself. You have a bunch of people willing to listen and help and you have me."

Tim stroked her cheek. "I just want to deserve the chance to be with you and I keep fucking up and getting caught in self doubt. I need to do better, for you because you need me to be stronger. I can do that, I promise. Just don't push me away."

"Sorry." Arey said quietly, feeling guilty about the whole episode that happened between them all over again. "I just don't know how to fix that..."

When Tim pushed her onto her back, Arey looked up into his eyes, trying to process what he was saying. She knew there were people here who would listen to her problems, who actually seemed eager for her to do so. But years of learning to bottle and suppress her emotions wasn't so easily undone in a week, or even two. It didn't matter how amazing the person was. "I'll try to be better at this. You deserve a girlfriend with less baggage." She said quietly. "No more pushing." She agreed, pulling him down toward her instead.

Tim shook his head. "I don't want better, I want Arey. I want everything that that means. Even if it means dealing Arthur's bullshit." She pulled him down and Tim sighed, his arms gathering her up under him. "Arey, I will remind you over and over again that I care about you. I want you in my life. No more sulking for me. I want you I will come to get you. You can't get rid of me that easy babe."

Tim kissed her. "Don't worry so much. We all got shit to deal with and we are in this together. Sure we will hit some bumps but we can do this." This time the kiss was hard. He was trying to prove to her that he was here and not going away.

Kissing Tim felt like a reprieve. He was wonderful, and beautiful, and kind, and she loved being around him. She loved the way he made her feel, like herself like their world wasn't dominated by monsters in pretty packaging that the universe had decided for some reason was their responsibility to take care of. Arey wrapped her arms around his middle as he hardened the kiss, and she kissed back with as much relentlessness. She didn't deserve Tim, but right now she was too selfish to let him go either.

"Ok, but you've got to tell me if things bother you too. How are you feeling after all of this? Are you ok? Has she...tried anything with the bond yet?" Arey asked after they needed to break apart for air, both of them a little out of breath.

"She hasn't done anything but I was trying to do as Balthazar taught us. You know armour in your head...Kat help distract me cause I was sulking. I am fine." Tim kissed her again. "I will tell you if she tries anything and don't think I won't be doing my damnedest to keep her out. You gotta know though that they can do weird things and my reactions aren't voluntary, okay?" Tim stroke her cheek again. "I know I did the right thing by sealing the deal. I hate that I had to but it was the right thing to do. I hate that it upset up or made Arthur go all angry on you."

"I know." Arey agreed lightly. "Doesn't make me want to claw her eyes out any less." Her voice was only slightly pouty.

"That I understand but tell you what...maybe you come with me and I can make you forget about her for a little bit?" Tim leaned in to kiss her softly. "Not saying come sleep with me, just saying come be close with me for a bit? If you want...I don't want you to feel pressured though. I would like to at least walk you to your room. You are my girl after all...have to make sure you are settled in for the night." He looked into her eyes, a bit of questioning behind them. She had called him her boyfriend but did she still think of him like that, for real?

"Close sounds good." Arey said managing a small smile as they pulled each other up. "Did you want to go to your room or mine?" She asked softly. She felt better after talking things over with Tim, and being close with him and cuddling was something she had no issues with.

"Wherever you are most comfortable Arey. I am at your bidding. I just would like to spend some time with you. Today was the kind that leaves a person raw and in need of someone they care deeply for." Tim took her hand. "I do care about you Arey. Maybe that is why some of the things we have to do are going to be more intense. Not exactly an everyday situation but I will always be here for you."

"Ok um...let's go to mine then." Arey said with a small smile as she put her hand in Tim's and led the way to her room, grabbing Excalibur off the floor on the way out. Once they made it inside her room, she walked him over to her bed and gestured for him to sit. "I'm going to change into bed clothes and wash up a little." She explained, putting the sword on top of her dresser and grabbing out some of her night clothes before walking into her bathroom to change.

Tim nodded and sat on Arey's bed. She seemed less upset and that was good. It bothered him that she held so much in but all he could do was remind her that he was there for her. Maybe one day she'd be able to talk to him without trying to push him away first. Maybe... He would be patient, she was worth it.

Arey ended up grabbing her blue night gown that ended at the knee. It was comfortable to sleep in, but also a little form fitting and didn't do bad things to her skin tone either. After brushing out her hair, washing her face, and brushing her teeth, she went back into her room, depositing her used clothes in the hamper on the way to the bed. Arey crawling in beside Tim, pulling his arms around her as she snuggled close.

Tim stared as Arey approached the bed. "Wow..." She looked so beautiful and feminine. He was enamoured with her. He laid out as she pulled him with her. "You are gorgeous Ariana." Tim whispered as he leaned in to very, very gently kiss her. His hand touched her hair. He took a deep breath and then hugged her close once more.

"I'd say you're rather handsome yourself." Arey whispered back as they hugged before moving her lips up to meet his once again. And he was handsome, and dependable, and that was something she hadn't had from somebody in a very long time.

Tim chuckled, "Good to know I am at least easy on the eyes." He held Arey close, rubbing her back, running his hands in her hair. He wanted her to relax and just know that she was protected and cared for. He held her till he felt her breathing slow. Once he was sure she was asleep, Tim slipped from the bed and pulled the blankets over her. He wanted to stay, he wanted to lay in bed with her till morning but knew she hadn't asked for that and he wouldn't push himself on her in that way.

Tim went back to his own room and dreamt of her next to him.