"I'll leave." he finally breathed and she glanced up to him his eyes holding her. "But I want you to come with me." she rolled her eyes. "We don't have to get back together if you don't want to, but give me one day. If, at the end of the day, you still want me, we can hide it. I've been hiding for three years, it's really not all that hard." He sighed, it was crazy and completely stupid. Sheād just gotten back from going missing, Jaxon and Tommy were sure to put a leash on her if she did it again even if it was for one day. "If not, I'll let you go and I'll never contact you again if that's what you want." he shrugged like he was just asking her to take a walk with him and it felt like high school all over again when he was trying to sway her to leave Tommy and she was pretty positive heād said the same thing back then.
She desperately wanted him. Even standing there after all that time the heat and the pull between them was undeniable and the tingle and taste of his lips was fresh and it was real. He wasnāt dead and as much as she wanted to be happy and fall back into his arms she just couldnāt. There were too many things that were broken, too many lies keeping them apart. She wasnāt even sure who she was anymore, she wasnāt sure she could be that girl heād fallen in love with. She was impossible, she was mean and cold and the drugs ran her.
āAfter you died, everything went to shit. You know that?ā she flicked her eyes back to his running her fingers through her long blond hair. āI swear to God, Benji you were holding everything together.ā She bit her lip trying not to cry but it was useless. āYour bloodsā¦ā she trailed off talking about his gang. The Blood Shadows were often shortened to the Bloods the same way her fatherās gang The South Side Saints had been shortened to the Saints. āThey killed Sabrina and Anne, did you know that?ā she asked honestly, no longer able to fight her tears. āYour guys cornered me in a bar and fucked me in front of everyone, three of them. Where were you then?ā she knew it wasnāt fair to blame him for everything, but it was how their world worked.
Harley knew full well that Benjamin would be the leader, soon. He was responsible for everything his guys did, the same way Jaxon was responsible for every single one of the Saints actions, that why he was so hard on her and Jaydon. Baby wiped her tears, despite the fact she knew she it was pointless. When it came to Ben her resistance used to be little to none. If he slept with other girls all he had to do was touch her a certain way and sheād completely forget. But, now after everything that had happened over the past three years between the Saints and the Bloods, she wasnāt entirely sure she could love him again. Sheād always love him and it was hard to explain, but when it came to her world, protecting her gang, her family came first and she knew Ben knew that first hand.
āWe canāt hide from who we are.ā She breathed. āMy dadās dying Benny, Jaxonās already taking over and youāve got what? Another year before your dad retires and you take over? Tell me then how will hide it then? Because itās not just Jaxon, itās Eli and Tommy and Marky and all the rest of the fucking Saints and your Bloods.ā She shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose, because she could feel a head ache coming on. āThis isnāt some romance novel sweetheart. You canāt sweep me off my feet for a night and expect everything to go back to normal.ā She said honestly. āThis is real life and itās fucked up.ā She shrugged, lighting herself a cigarette. āI donāt think I can handle loving you for one night, Iām exhausted Benji, Iāve loved you for eight years and all you did was break my heart.ā She shrugged, having to look away as she took a drag off her cigarette.
"Alright. I won't run off anymore." he glanced to her and let out a sigh of relief. Heād probably lose it completely if he lost Jaydon or Harley. His brothers were a different story. Harley however heād gotten close to after sheād lost Ben and heād lost his family. Theyād spent hours talking and drinking. Often time people joked that the two were twins separated at birth because they were a lot alike.
If something happened to Jaydon, heād beat himself up forever about it, because he wasnāt stupid and he knew full well he was among the few she actually listened to simply because he treated her like an adult, unlike Jaxon who treated everyone like a child. If something happened to her heād blame himself, that he could have talked to her and begged her. Sheād always been his favorite, simply because when no one else wanted to babysit heād volunteer and sheād always been able to make him smile because he smile was contagious.
"Thanks for worrying though, princess." She laughed, leaning in close and he felt a heat between them, but he ignored it. There was something there that much obvious and he hated it. He glanced to her realize just how close she was.
She pressed her lips to his then kissing him and he was completely shocked. Her lips felt incredible against his, even as wrong as he knew it was her lips on his set his entire body on fire in a way only Sabrinaās had years ago and heād almost forgotten what it was like. It was better than drugs and heād missed that natural high and he honestly couldnāt bring himself to pull away.
"Oh my fucking god." she breathed as she pulled away. "Holy shit, forget I just did that, I didn't... I'm super high." She rambled, but he couldnāt help needing that feeling again.
He lend over, slipping his hand into her hair and kissing her again. He needed to feel that fire, that electricity again. His hand rested on the back of her neck keeping her there in the kiss and even if she wanted to pull away she wouldnāt have been able to. Jaydon was tough, but Eli was a good ten times tougher and stringer. He knew it was wrong, but he couldnāt help him finally he pulled away, realizing what the fuck heād just done.
āShit.ā He breathed. āIām sorry Jae. We should go.ā He said standing up and not bothering to wait for her as he headed towards his bike. He shouldnāt have done it and he felt like an ass hole for it. Not only was she his little sister, but she was also his real brotherās girlfriend.