Before Jade had even really stopped rambling, Eli had leaned back over and slid his hand into her hair, kissing her again. It was absolutely incredible. His lips set her entire body on fire and made her want more. His hand at the back of her neck held her firmly in the kiss so she couldn't get away, sending an incredible tingling down her entire spine. He didn't have to hold her there, because she didn't want to break away. She just kissed him back, leaning into it, not even realizing what she was doing.
His mind seemed to catch up with him before hers did because eventually, he pulled away, leaving her breathless, but completely shell shocked. Holy shit. What the fuck had just happened? "Shit." He breathed and she nodded because that's exactly what she was thinking. Shit. "I'm sorry Jae. We should go." He said and stood, not even waiting for an answer before he walked back towards his bike.
Jae stayed there for a second longer though, bringing her fingers to her lips. They were still tingling. What the fuck was wrong with her? How had she gotten so fucked up that the best kiss she'd ever had, had been with her brother? His lips had tasted better than Eric's ever had, even if nothing about it was right. The kiss had made everything melt away but him.
It was absolutely ridiculous. He was her brother. The man had literally helped her with her fucking homework and how to remember the ABC's. Not only that, but even if he wasn't family, he was still an entire ten years older than her, and married. Oh, and then there was the fact that he was still getting over the deaths of his child and his previous wife. What the fucking hell was wrong with her? All that, and all she could think about was how badly she wanted to kiss him again.
"Shit." She finally breathed to herself and stood, shoving her things back in her bag before dusting herself off and heading after him, walking back up the path to find him already at his bike. Suddenly, she was completely wordless. What the fuck was the protocol for making out with your brother on the beach? Of all the times in her life she'd been confused, this definitely took the fucking cake.
“After you died, everything went to shit. You know that?” She said and he looked away, knowing she was going to turn him down and he didn't blame her. She had every right to never want to see him again. “I swear to God, Benji you were holding everything together. Your bloods…” She trailed off and he winced, not wanted to hear what his gang had done to her family, because he was supposed to be their leader soon, meaning she'd instantly associate their shit with him, even if he'd been spending the past three years trying to avoid any of the responsibilities his dad kept trying to shove down his throat.
“They killed Sabrina and Anne, did you know that?” She asked and he sighed because he knew. They'd been part of the reason Eli and Jax had found out who he was. “Your guys cornered me in a bar and fucked me in front of everyone, three of them. Where were you then?” She said and he winced because he hadn't known about that one, and if he had, he sure as hell would have found those guys and fucked them up.
“We can’t hide from who we are. My dad’s dying Benny, Jaxon’s already taking over and you’ve got what? Another year before your dad retires and you take over? Tell me then how we'll hide it then? Because it’s not just Jaxon, it’s Eli and Tommy and Marky and all the rest of the fucking Saints and your Bloods.” She said and he sighed, knowing she was right. They might be okay for a while, but eventually, it'd catch up with them.
“This isn’t some romance novel sweetheart. You can’t sweep me off my feet for a night and expect everything to go back to normal. This is real life and it’s fucked up.” She shrugged and he knew things would never be normal again, he hadn't expected that. He'd known things would be different between them the moment he'd decided to follow her down the stairs and go after her. Because he was different, and it was clear that she was too. “I don’t think I can handle loving you for one night, I’m exhausted Benji, I’ve loved you for eight years and all you did was break my heart.” She said and he sighed, lighting himself a cigarette as well.
"Alright." He finally breathed, taking a step towards her and kissing her softly, but not for long because he didn't want to push his limits. He just wanted her to know he still loved her. "I'll leave if that's what you want." He breathed, holding her eyes. "I owe it to you to give you what you want." He sighed and took a drag off his cigarette before turning his eyes back on hers. "But I'll always be here if you need me." He shrugged because it was true. She could come running back to him in fifty years, he'd still take her back with open arms. "I'll always love you. If you change your mind, you know where I am." He finished, kissing her forehead before turning and heading for the door, fully intending on leaving her there and never contacting her again because that's what she wanted.