A week.
It was an entire week since Kiara had returned, and Haki had spent that entire week avoiding her. It wasn't intentional, however; he just couldn't bring himself to be around her. He was finally adjusting to life without her, and now... she'd returned out of the blue. It wasn't her fault, he knew that. If Kohaku, or even herself, would have told them that they would be back, that they were even leaving... it might not have been so bad. Even though he knew it wasn't her fault, he just couldn't bring himself to see her, not quite yet. Rika had yelled at him the fourth day he had ignored Kiara, and still that did not change him. Now, he found himself staring at a pond, watching (ironically) a school of Turtle-Ducks swim by.
"I suppose even the spirits are taunting me," he spoke, a soft sigh escaping him. He kneeled down so that he sat on the grass, and let his feet touch the water's surface briefly. One of the ducklings swam up to him, stared and tilted its head. Haki mimicked the movements and leaned in to touch it with his forefinger. As he neared it, the Turtle-Duck snapped at him, nipping his finger in the process. "And I suppose they are trying to tell me something too," he continued, pulling his hand away to inspect the damage. It was nothing, the skin was still intact, and there was no blood drawn. He supposed he deserved that.
Kiara was pretty sure a week of being ignored was just about all her heart could take. Rika and Fang had been a bit cautious around her at first, and that she could understand, but things were more or less back to normal between them now. Haki, on the other hand, had not spoken a word to her in all this time, and seemed to never be around the others at the same time she was. It had taken her a couple of days to catch on, but when she had reached the realization that he was in fact avoiding her, it had stung. Sheād understood, really, but that hadnāt stopped It from hurting, and while she was resolved to let him have his space, she found that resolve wavering as a week closed in. Today, sheād woken up knowing she couldnāt let it continue without at least trying to get something out of him.
So it was with a strange, hollow ache in her chest that she tracked him down, only to find him beside a pond, talking to the Turtle-Ducks. She couldnāt hear what was said, and so she moved closer. Chewing on her bottom lip, she stopped beside him, sinking down into a crouch, arms hugged tightly around her knees. She stole a sideways glance at him, feeling shyer than she could honestly recall ever being. Kiara hadnāt necessarily ever trusted easily, but she was quite sociable, on a certain surface level. Deep down, thoughā¦ with the people she cared about, in a delicate situation like this, she was discovering that she lost that easy ability to just speak Her tongue felt tied, useless in her mouth. What did you say to a friend who thought theyād lost you forever? There was no simple comparison to anything else.
āI donāt know what to say,ā she confessed softly. āI don'tāI donāt know how to make this right, to make it better. I never meantā¦ā Kiara turned her head to look out at the pond. Oh, what they must have thought of her. That sheād just walked out on them, that sheād abandoned them to go back to her tribe, without so much as a word? She was torn between sadness and anger, and so all she felt was miserable. āHow could you believe I would ever do that to you?ā Her voice was barely even a whisper. āBelieve that I would just leave you? I love you threeāyouāre my best friends in the whole world, and Iā¦ā she pressed her forehead into her knees. She wasnāt sure she knew how to properly finish that sentence.
āIāve never had many friends, you know? I donāt know what Iām supposed to do now, to fix what I did. I just want you to talk to me againā¦ā
For a long moment, Haki said nothing as she spoke. He listened to her words, and he felt something pull tightly in his chest. He released a sigh through his nose, listening to the silence that followed after. He didn't know what to say to her. What could he say? He was still having a hard time adjusting to her reappearance. He was so close to just accepting that she wasn't coming back, and had she not returned, he might have moved on. As painful as it was to believe that, it was true. But she had come back, and there was no denying that it made things more difficult than they had been. He turned, facing her and regarded her for a silent minute.
"It's not your fault, Kiara. I've told you once before, that your life was yours, and no one else's," he stated, his voice unusually calm. "I cannot tell you what to do, nor can I tell you what you should do, but," he continued, pausing momentarily to glance away from her. It still hurt to see her, and it was even more so now that she seemed upset. She had hurt them, but he knew he was hurting her. It wasn't that he meant to, he never meant to hurt his friends, and would try from doing so. He heaved his shoulders, releasing another sigh as he picked up a Turtle-Duck from the pond. It merely curled into his hands and he allowed it to stay there. The silence was becoming thick, and he could feel it suffocating him. What more could he say?
"I didn't believe you would leave us, Kiara. I know how you feel about this place, how you wanted to stay, but what I couldn't believe," he continued, replacing the Turtle-Duck back into the pond. "Is that you would leave without telling us. Friends... they will hurt you, each other, and you cannot fully rely on them to do things for you. It's like having a family. As thick in blood as they may be, family still can't be trusted to do things for each other, even if they wanted to help each other," he continued, unsure of why he was even saying something like this. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts as he stood from his spot.
"You may not have had the intentions to hurt us, as I have no intentions of hurting you, but the fact remains that you did. You can't fix something like that," he spoke, glancing over his shoulder towards her. He cast his gaze away from her, made to take a step away from her, but found himself turning towards her. Gently, he grabbed her arm, and forced her to stand. His arms encircled her and he found his head laying gently on top of hers. "You could have sent a Messenger Hawk, or something to let us know that you were gone. A letter to let us know how things were going. I thought," he paused.
"I thought I'd lost you," and it was the most frightening thing he had ever experienced.
Couldnātā¦ be trusted to do things for each other? Is that how he really saw things? Did he really believe he couldnāt trust them, trust her? It felt like she was being stabbed in the chest, and the pain of that did not subside even when he pulled her in for a hug. She knew, she knew sheād messed this up, but sheād neverā¦ she closed her eyes, leaning into his shoulder and trying not to cry. He didnāt trust her, and somehow, she wanted him to. More than she could remember wanting anything else. But sheād gone and messed it up so badlyāand there was no way she could fix it, or so he said. Her fingers clenched in the back of his shirt, and she sniffled quietly. Avoiding those tears might be harder than she had thought.
āIfāif you think I should, Iāll go,ā she said, though it broke her heart to speak the words. āI donāt want to hurt you again, and if I canāt fix what I did, if you canāt trust me, thenā¦ then I probably will, on accident.ā She didnāt know how she would do it, but if he wanted her out of his life for her mistake, she would leave. She would stop going anywhere he ended up, she would stop trying to talk to him. It would kill some unknown portion of her, but she would do it. Rika and Fang would still be there for her, and maybe in time she could heal from that, and he could heal from what she did to hurt him, and they could both justā¦ exist separately.
āI just want you to be happy.ā And if she had to be miserable for that to happen, thenā¦ she probably deserved it anyway. Fang had told her it was an honest mistake, but she knew sheād hurt him too, and Rika. Maybe they would prefer it if she left, too. Sheād have to ask, butā¦ but she didnāt know if sheād be able to handle it, honestly. Still, she owed them all this much. Sheād gone there in the first place so she could be free to live her life in their company, instead of having to be worried about getting dragged back to the tribe someday. Sheād faced down all the elders and her disappointed mother and him just to protect what she had here, with them.
And doing that might just have been the worst decision sheād ever made.
"And lose you again?" he stated, a spark of fear coursing through him. He didn't want her to leave again. That would kill whatever part of him that had felt anything to begin with. He couldn't have that, not again. His arms tightened around her almost instinctively and his eyes narrowed. "I wasn't happy when you left, Kiara. You were the one who made me so, and still do. I can't... I refuse to lose you again," he whispered in a soft voice. He couldn't lose her again. And he wouldn't. He wouldn't push her away anymore. If that was what she thought, he wouldn't push her away again. Speaking to her would be difficult, but he could at least try.
"Just because something can't be fixed, doesn't mean we stop trying to. I've never known Turtle-Duck to stop trying something, she was too stubborn for things like that, like Lotus," he spoke, his tone evening out into something gentler. A small smile crept upon his face as he released a content sigh. "I can't be happy without you, Turtle-Duck. You should know this," he continued, finally pulling away from her, his hand lingering on her shoulder a bit longer. He glanced down at her, his own blue eyes searching hers. He could see the tears brightening them, and he brushed his thumb under her eye, wiping away the tears. He never meant to make her cry, he just... he couldn't handle her sudden disappearance, and then reappearance.
"I love you too, Turtle-Duck," he spoke, all seriousness void of his tone. Though, she would not know how true those words rang for him. "Forgive me?" he questioned, a small smirk crossing his features. It was, after all, his fault that she was crying. He could handle her hurting him, but he couldn't forgive himself for hurting her.
She smiled up at him, nodding her head. āOnly if youāll forgive me,ā she replied. He was rightāmaybe she never would be able to fix what sheād done, but she could try making up for it in other ways, and maybe all she needed to do was keep trying. She blinked her tears away, leaning slightly into his touch, then rose up on her toes to brush her lips against his cheek. It was only a brief contact, light and delicate like the touch of a feather, and she pinked slightly under her tan, but her smile grew.
āThank you, Haki. I promise not to leave again without telling you. I can promise that now, you know. The whole reason I went home was to break my engagement. Iā¦ want to live here, with you and Fang and Rika, and I couldnāt let anything stand in the way of that anymore.ā That had been the good news sheād been coming to deliver before sheād discovered Kohakuās deception, and her own foolishness in trusting him.
"You drive a hard bargain, Turtle-Duck," he responded, his usual smirk returning to his face. He blinked slightly when she touched his cheek, faintly, and shook his head. He blinked in surprise though, when she told him the reason why she had left. "You... broke your engagement?" He stated, almost disbelieving her. She'd... gone to do that? And her family agreed? That must have taken a lot of effort and a lot of courage to have done such a thing. But... it also meant that she was free, and he could not stop the large grin that spread across his lips. He placed his hands around her waist and lifted her. He swung her around before placing her back on the ground.
"That's great, Kiara. You actually did it," he stated, his hands still on her waist. He stared at her, the smile fading softly from his face as he hovered over her. He inched his face closer to hers, he could smell her, and placed a kiss on her forehead. He almost made a mistake, one that might have cost him more than he was willing to pay. "We should go tell Lotus, I'm sure she'll want to make some celebratory tea... or worse," his face almost paled. She'd probably throw some kind of party... and make him suffer for it.
It was an entire week since Kiara had returned, and Haki had spent that entire week avoiding her. It wasn't intentional, however; he just couldn't bring himself to be around her. He was finally adjusting to life without her, and now... she'd returned out of the blue. It wasn't her fault, he knew that. If Kohaku, or even herself, would have told them that they would be back, that they were even leaving... it might not have been so bad. Even though he knew it wasn't her fault, he just couldn't bring himself to see her, not quite yet. Rika had yelled at him the fourth day he had ignored Kiara, and still that did not change him. Now, he found himself staring at a pond, watching (ironically) a school of Turtle-Ducks swim by.
"I suppose even the spirits are taunting me," he spoke, a soft sigh escaping him. He kneeled down so that he sat on the grass, and let his feet touch the water's surface briefly. One of the ducklings swam up to him, stared and tilted its head. Haki mimicked the movements and leaned in to touch it with his forefinger. As he neared it, the Turtle-Duck snapped at him, nipping his finger in the process. "And I suppose they are trying to tell me something too," he continued, pulling his hand away to inspect the damage. It was nothing, the skin was still intact, and there was no blood drawn. He supposed he deserved that.
Kiara was pretty sure a week of being ignored was just about all her heart could take. Rika and Fang had been a bit cautious around her at first, and that she could understand, but things were more or less back to normal between them now. Haki, on the other hand, had not spoken a word to her in all this time, and seemed to never be around the others at the same time she was. It had taken her a couple of days to catch on, but when she had reached the realization that he was in fact avoiding her, it had stung. Sheād understood, really, but that hadnāt stopped It from hurting, and while she was resolved to let him have his space, she found that resolve wavering as a week closed in. Today, sheād woken up knowing she couldnāt let it continue without at least trying to get something out of him.
So it was with a strange, hollow ache in her chest that she tracked him down, only to find him beside a pond, talking to the Turtle-Ducks. She couldnāt hear what was said, and so she moved closer. Chewing on her bottom lip, she stopped beside him, sinking down into a crouch, arms hugged tightly around her knees. She stole a sideways glance at him, feeling shyer than she could honestly recall ever being. Kiara hadnāt necessarily ever trusted easily, but she was quite sociable, on a certain surface level. Deep down, thoughā¦ with the people she cared about, in a delicate situation like this, she was discovering that she lost that easy ability to just speak Her tongue felt tied, useless in her mouth. What did you say to a friend who thought theyād lost you forever? There was no simple comparison to anything else.
āI donāt know what to say,ā she confessed softly. āI don'tāI donāt know how to make this right, to make it better. I never meantā¦ā Kiara turned her head to look out at the pond. Oh, what they must have thought of her. That sheād just walked out on them, that sheād abandoned them to go back to her tribe, without so much as a word? She was torn between sadness and anger, and so all she felt was miserable. āHow could you believe I would ever do that to you?ā Her voice was barely even a whisper. āBelieve that I would just leave you? I love you threeāyouāre my best friends in the whole world, and Iā¦ā she pressed her forehead into her knees. She wasnāt sure she knew how to properly finish that sentence.
āIāve never had many friends, you know? I donāt know what Iām supposed to do now, to fix what I did. I just want you to talk to me againā¦ā
For a long moment, Haki said nothing as she spoke. He listened to her words, and he felt something pull tightly in his chest. He released a sigh through his nose, listening to the silence that followed after. He didn't know what to say to her. What could he say? He was still having a hard time adjusting to her reappearance. He was so close to just accepting that she wasn't coming back, and had she not returned, he might have moved on. As painful as it was to believe that, it was true. But she had come back, and there was no denying that it made things more difficult than they had been. He turned, facing her and regarded her for a silent minute.
"It's not your fault, Kiara. I've told you once before, that your life was yours, and no one else's," he stated, his voice unusually calm. "I cannot tell you what to do, nor can I tell you what you should do, but," he continued, pausing momentarily to glance away from her. It still hurt to see her, and it was even more so now that she seemed upset. She had hurt them, but he knew he was hurting her. It wasn't that he meant to, he never meant to hurt his friends, and would try from doing so. He heaved his shoulders, releasing another sigh as he picked up a Turtle-Duck from the pond. It merely curled into his hands and he allowed it to stay there. The silence was becoming thick, and he could feel it suffocating him. What more could he say?
"I didn't believe you would leave us, Kiara. I know how you feel about this place, how you wanted to stay, but what I couldn't believe," he continued, replacing the Turtle-Duck back into the pond. "Is that you would leave without telling us. Friends... they will hurt you, each other, and you cannot fully rely on them to do things for you. It's like having a family. As thick in blood as they may be, family still can't be trusted to do things for each other, even if they wanted to help each other," he continued, unsure of why he was even saying something like this. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts as he stood from his spot.
"You may not have had the intentions to hurt us, as I have no intentions of hurting you, but the fact remains that you did. You can't fix something like that," he spoke, glancing over his shoulder towards her. He cast his gaze away from her, made to take a step away from her, but found himself turning towards her. Gently, he grabbed her arm, and forced her to stand. His arms encircled her and he found his head laying gently on top of hers. "You could have sent a Messenger Hawk, or something to let us know that you were gone. A letter to let us know how things were going. I thought," he paused.
"I thought I'd lost you," and it was the most frightening thing he had ever experienced.
Couldnātā¦ be trusted to do things for each other? Is that how he really saw things? Did he really believe he couldnāt trust them, trust her? It felt like she was being stabbed in the chest, and the pain of that did not subside even when he pulled her in for a hug. She knew, she knew sheād messed this up, but sheād neverā¦ she closed her eyes, leaning into his shoulder and trying not to cry. He didnāt trust her, and somehow, she wanted him to. More than she could remember wanting anything else. But sheād gone and messed it up so badlyāand there was no way she could fix it, or so he said. Her fingers clenched in the back of his shirt, and she sniffled quietly. Avoiding those tears might be harder than she had thought.
āIfāif you think I should, Iāll go,ā she said, though it broke her heart to speak the words. āI donāt want to hurt you again, and if I canāt fix what I did, if you canāt trust me, thenā¦ then I probably will, on accident.ā She didnāt know how she would do it, but if he wanted her out of his life for her mistake, she would leave. She would stop going anywhere he ended up, she would stop trying to talk to him. It would kill some unknown portion of her, but she would do it. Rika and Fang would still be there for her, and maybe in time she could heal from that, and he could heal from what she did to hurt him, and they could both justā¦ exist separately.
āI just want you to be happy.ā And if she had to be miserable for that to happen, thenā¦ she probably deserved it anyway. Fang had told her it was an honest mistake, but she knew sheād hurt him too, and Rika. Maybe they would prefer it if she left, too. Sheād have to ask, butā¦ but she didnāt know if sheād be able to handle it, honestly. Still, she owed them all this much. Sheād gone there in the first place so she could be free to live her life in their company, instead of having to be worried about getting dragged back to the tribe someday. Sheād faced down all the elders and her disappointed mother and him just to protect what she had here, with them.
And doing that might just have been the worst decision sheād ever made.
"And lose you again?" he stated, a spark of fear coursing through him. He didn't want her to leave again. That would kill whatever part of him that had felt anything to begin with. He couldn't have that, not again. His arms tightened around her almost instinctively and his eyes narrowed. "I wasn't happy when you left, Kiara. You were the one who made me so, and still do. I can't... I refuse to lose you again," he whispered in a soft voice. He couldn't lose her again. And he wouldn't. He wouldn't push her away anymore. If that was what she thought, he wouldn't push her away again. Speaking to her would be difficult, but he could at least try.
"Just because something can't be fixed, doesn't mean we stop trying to. I've never known Turtle-Duck to stop trying something, she was too stubborn for things like that, like Lotus," he spoke, his tone evening out into something gentler. A small smile crept upon his face as he released a content sigh. "I can't be happy without you, Turtle-Duck. You should know this," he continued, finally pulling away from her, his hand lingering on her shoulder a bit longer. He glanced down at her, his own blue eyes searching hers. He could see the tears brightening them, and he brushed his thumb under her eye, wiping away the tears. He never meant to make her cry, he just... he couldn't handle her sudden disappearance, and then reappearance.
"I love you too, Turtle-Duck," he spoke, all seriousness void of his tone. Though, she would not know how true those words rang for him. "Forgive me?" he questioned, a small smirk crossing his features. It was, after all, his fault that she was crying. He could handle her hurting him, but he couldn't forgive himself for hurting her.
She smiled up at him, nodding her head. āOnly if youāll forgive me,ā she replied. He was rightāmaybe she never would be able to fix what sheād done, but she could try making up for it in other ways, and maybe all she needed to do was keep trying. She blinked her tears away, leaning slightly into his touch, then rose up on her toes to brush her lips against his cheek. It was only a brief contact, light and delicate like the touch of a feather, and she pinked slightly under her tan, but her smile grew.
āThank you, Haki. I promise not to leave again without telling you. I can promise that now, you know. The whole reason I went home was to break my engagement. Iā¦ want to live here, with you and Fang and Rika, and I couldnāt let anything stand in the way of that anymore.ā That had been the good news sheād been coming to deliver before sheād discovered Kohakuās deception, and her own foolishness in trusting him.
"You drive a hard bargain, Turtle-Duck," he responded, his usual smirk returning to his face. He blinked slightly when she touched his cheek, faintly, and shook his head. He blinked in surprise though, when she told him the reason why she had left. "You... broke your engagement?" He stated, almost disbelieving her. She'd... gone to do that? And her family agreed? That must have taken a lot of effort and a lot of courage to have done such a thing. But... it also meant that she was free, and he could not stop the large grin that spread across his lips. He placed his hands around her waist and lifted her. He swung her around before placing her back on the ground.
"That's great, Kiara. You actually did it," he stated, his hands still on her waist. He stared at her, the smile fading softly from his face as he hovered over her. He inched his face closer to hers, he could smell her, and placed a kiss on her forehead. He almost made a mistake, one that might have cost him more than he was willing to pay. "We should go tell Lotus, I'm sure she'll want to make some celebratory tea... or worse," his face almost paled. She'd probably throw some kind of party... and make him suffer for it.