Candie sat on the curb outside their apartment building trying to work herself up into a bitter rage, doing dangerous amounts of the coke to help with the task. If she got angry enough, she could head upstairs and pick a fight. They'd do what they always did and argue until they were sick of the screaming so instead, he fucked her hard, and in the morning it'd be over. He'd forget he'd broken up with her and they'd go back to pretending things were okay between them.
Still, no matter how much coke she inhaled, she couldn't seem to get angry at anyone but herself. Afterall, she really had no one else to blame. It wasn't like she could march upstairs and accuse him of being unfair because he wasn't. Breaking up with her is exactly what he should have done. He'd caught her fucking Kaleb, and to make matters worse, not only was he Reed's best friend, but she'd cheated with him before. For all he knew, she'd never stopped seeing him. Besides, on top of that there were also the facts that she was a horrible house guest and he had yet to find out that she'd been fucking Dimitri almost every day while he was at work.
No matter what she did, she couldn't get mad at him. All he'd ever done was try to take care of her and make her happy and all she'd done was sleep around and get high. She still didn't understand why he'd loved her at all. She was exactly what everyone said she was. She was "Kinky-Candie" the school slut, infamous for using nothing but her pretty face to break hearts. Only now she'd hurt someone she actually cared about and she felt like complete shit.
After a long time of just sitting there, listening to the blasting music coming from upstairs, torturing herself by imagining all the girls Reed was probably up there fucking, someone walked up and stood next to her. Candie didn't look up or move. She didn't have to, she knew who it was. Her energy was just as familiar to her as Donnie's or Reed's. She knew it was Tansy and she really didn't want to look at her. She didn't even turn her head as she crouched beside her because she didn't want to see the look on her face as she looked her over, knowing it was completely obvious what had happened.
She was sitting outside on the curb while a party went on inside, cheeks blackened with streaks of mascara, hair a mess, twisting an empty bag of coke around and around in her fingers frantically because it was the only thing there was to do and she felt like, if she stopped, she'd fall apart. She knew she probably looked like some crack head who'd gone way too long without a fix and she didn't feel like fighting with Tansy, not now. Despite how ridiculously strung out she was on the coke, a fight was the last thing she wanted.
“You look like shit.” Tansy breathed next to her and Candie scoffed like that was the biggest understatement she'd ever heard. “But, that’s nothing a hot bath and drowning ourselves in liquor can’t change.” She smirked and Candie was so shocked by that, she had to look at her. She'd expected Tansy to gloat. Ask her if fucking Reed was worth their friendship, only to be left sitting out on the curb in the end. “What do you say we go take a bubble bath and talk about life like we used to, then tomorrow we can go back to hating each other.” She offered as she stood, holding out her hand.
For a moment, Candie just stared at it. She thought about getting up and walking away, maybe telling Tansy to fuck off, but at the moment, she just needed a friend. She needed someone to take care of her for a little while and tell her the world wasn't ending, even if she couldn't believe it. She needed someone to make it hurt a little less to breathe and thaw some of the ice that chilled her bones and made her body ache. So in the end, she swallowed her pride and took her friend's hand because she had no one else to turn to and she knew if she stayed there alone, she'd fall apart and do something stupid before the night was up.
It was silent for a minute, and in the silence, Donnie could swear he'd felt his heart break. He was losing her. He could see it in her eyes and it was the most painful thing he'd ever watched. He felt helpless, like he was underwater, able to see the light shining through the surface, kicking his way frantically to air, but never really making any progress, drowning each silent second that passed between them. She was slipping right through his fingers and he couldn't hold on. It was the most frustrating thing he'd ever experienced in his life.
He knew what he could do to make her stay. He could kiss her and tell her to forget it. He could pretend nothing he'd just said mattered and act like her cheating and her inability to resist Colin didn't effect him. He could lie to himself and say he was okay having only part of her as long as he could have her at all. Then at least she'd still be his in she ways. At least she wouldn't slip away from him completely. But still. What good was working so hard to keep her when he could never really have her? Maybe it was time to stop trying and just let her go.
“I can’t make you promises Tae, because I won’t keep them and I care too fucking much about you to hurt you like this.” She breathed, and he wished she'd stop because her words were killing him. Why the fuck couldn't she fight for him? All he'd ever done was fight for her. Hell, he'd stepped away from his twin sister to be with her. “Admit it Don it’s killing you not knowing who I’m spending nights with when I’m not with you, it’s always in the back of your head that I just might be with Collin. I can’t be the girl you want me to be.” She said, shaking her head and that irritated him because it made it sound like he wasn't satisfied with loving her the way she was.
It made it sound like he wanted to change her and that was a lie. He didn't want her to change who she was. He loved her the way she was that's exactly why she drove him so crazy. All he wanted was a little evidence that she loved him back because honestly, with her sleeping around and now, finding her with Collin still bending to his every will, he was starting to feel like another one of her games.
Tansy kissed him then on the cheek and he hated that it wasn't on the lips, but he was also glad, because at least that way he couldn't taste her goodbye. He'd probably lose it if he she kissed him and he could feel that it was probably their last. He'd never let her go. He'd get sucked right back into her and tell her anything he could just to get her to stay and he knew he couldn't. He had to let her go because he couldn't keep feeling like he was loving someone who still had half her heart hooked on someone else. He wanted her whole heart or none at all.
So, instead of following her through the trees like he normally would, Donnie just watched her until she was gone before sighing and heading back to the party. Nena had moved on, dancing all over Kaleb, making it clear the two of them had kissed and made up with the way his hands explored her body. Lauren just sat in the couch drinking a beer and smoking a joint and Donnie sighed and joined her, letting her light a joint for him and rest her head on his shoulder, wrapping an arm around her as he smoked with her and watched the dancers.