Arina was dressed in the crisp, clean, black uniform that she normally wore. Ever since getting back on her vessel, she'd not stopped moving. Showered quite a few times to try to clean herself of the horrid feeling of pirates hands on her, redressed each time in the same black uniform and then stared in the mirror for a long while before pacing in her room.
She'd been treated by the medics for her slight injuries, mostly burns from the sun exposure and bruising along her ribs. In addition to that she was still feeling hot and cold randomly, taking off her uniform coat several times and putting it back on when she would feel like she was freezing. A headache tormented her, but she found that she just couldn't settle.
Her nerves were too much on end to lay down and rest. Arina's guilt tore at her stomach, making her feel sick most times. She'd gone through an entire box of tissues as well with her emotions all over the place. All the while she was waiting for the dreadful call from the Major, telling her they would be speaking.
Fidgiting and pacing, Arina went over in her mind a deep apology, the words tumbling over themselves often and ending with her shaking her head and starting all over again. Sometimes she thought to tell him the reasons as to why she'd gone down there to begin with, but eventually that disappeared entirely. All that she could possibly think to do was try to apologize in some way or another.
Then the knock resounded in her room. A heavy sound that resounded in her chest and froze her blood. Arina halted in the middle of the room, her gaze wide as she stared at the floor. It took her several moments to catch her breath and not break down right there without even opening the door. Straightening, she headed over to the door and opened it to the one and only man who could issue such a heavy pound on the door and still not break it.
Nash stood there, looking the Admiral up and down when she opened the door. He looked her in the eyes, "Welcome back to a more civilized center, Admiral." he said in a neutral tone. "Wasn't very fun down in the dirt and grime of the red zone, if I heard correctly. Yet here you stand, alive and fairly well."
"I imagine you were expecting the Sentinel-Major, but he'll make his way here eventullay, he's still cleaning up from the fight down on Ko'val. May I please enter?" he asked her, not having moved at all the whole time.
Arina froze as she laid eyes upon Commodore Nash. She'd hardly expected for the Commodore to have shown up or even been informed of what had happened. Swallowing dryly, Arina only managed a short nod of her head and stepped aside for him to enter her quarters aboard the Stellae Caelator.
As she waited for him to enter, she lowered her gaze, her hand tight against the side of her thigh as she held the door opened for him. Arina hadn't said a word to him just yet. After all it seemed that her throat was sealed shut and no words even came to mind to be spoken anyway. So she waited for the Commodore to start, having a feeling that he was going to anyway.
Nash nodded his head to her as she stepped aside to let him in, "Thank you, Admiral." he said as he moved into the room, limping slightly from his bionic leg as he did so. Once he had made it past the doorway and towards the center of the room, he stopped and turned to face her.
"So, what have you learned from this experience, Admiral?" he asked, breaking the silence that had hung for a few moments. His tone did not change at all when he asked, and once he had moved to the center of the room he gripped his left hand with his right, letting them hang in front of him as he looked at her. His eyes remained fixed on her as he asked the question.
"I hope it was something, or else then it would truly have been a waste of time and energy on your part." he said.
Arinas gaze shifted upward toward the Commodore rapidly as he asked her what she had learned. She stared at him for a while, unsure as to how to proceed when he added the last bit.
I learned that I am weak, that I am ignorant, that I cant do the job I was sent to do, that I got many people killed, that I should have listened! What the hell am I supposed to say to this man?! her thoughts tumbled in a chaotic rush.
Taking a breath, she could feel the heat increasing again across her skin, but she ignored it that time and kept the uniform intact. She deduced that seeing the medical bay again for her shivers and getting too warm was probably a good idea. After all, she had most likely gotten a cold or flu of some sort from the harsh experience as well as being in the icy cold night air of the desert.
"I..." her voice cracked and she tried again, her eyes lowering that time from the Commodore's, "I learned that I cannot negotiate with everyone," she answered softly, none of her usual confidence in her tone. Arina sounded like a child being berated by a parent. At least that's what she thought it sounded like.
Nash watched her look away from him, clearly unsure and almost afraid to say anything to him. When she finally spoke and gave him an answer, he moved his head in a slight nod. "Good." he said, this time his tone softening for once.
"I'm glad that you picked something from this experience, Admiral. And learned an important lesson such as that." As he spoke, his tone no longer carried the same authority it once had. Instead, it carried a softness that a teacher might use towards a student. "It is unfortunate you had to learn it through such an ordeal."
"There will be people in the universe that you cannot sway from their path, Admiral. It does not mean you shouldn't give it try, but do not expect to move them with words alone."
"I also want you to be aware, that the initiative you showed, to head down to the surface to meet with the Captain, is good to have. However, initiative that is not balanced by an understanding of the situation will rarely go well for you. Though taking risks and chances is a large part of dealing with war or politics, you must still think about what might come those results."
"Please, look at me, Admiral." He said, waiting before continuing. "Listen to those who have lived and experienced what it is you will be facing. It is the rare few who take huge risks and it pay off with a glorious victory, Admiral. Stupid mistakes like the one you made can result in things such as this." He said while pointing to his bionic eye, "This, and this." he said while then indicating to his arm and leg.
"You were fortunate that you only risked yourself and Mr. Ashley, considering the Sentinel-Major, and myself, were already set on going down to the planet to remove the pirates."
Arina kept her gaze off of the Commodore as he spoke to her. With her head hung down she fought off tears that burned and pulsed just between her eyes. It added to her headache which made her feel even worse than before. She just couldn't bring herself to look up at Commodore Nash. At least, until he called out to her, asking her to look at him.
Lifting her head, she met his gaze and only then did he continue talking. She winced inwardly as he pointed to his bionic eye, arm, and leg. She couldn't really find anything that was fortunate in having risked Alten's life along with hers. If it had just been her own, and no one elses then she could have dealt with it better.
Taking deep, shuddering breathes, her voice was unnaturally high as she answered him, teetering on the edge. She'd never cried so much in her life and she'd never planned to show such weakness in front of two very powerful men but it seemed she just couldn't do it, "Commodore... No one should have had their lives at risk for what I did. I no longer have the right to be called 'Admiral' aboard this ship. My 'risk' was a result of my own ego and look what happened? Several people have died, and Atlen nearly lost his life," she shook her head as she curled her arms up over her chest and squeezed her eyes shut tightly as she took another deep breath to try to calm down as she grew cold rather than hot once more.
"This... All could have been avoided if I'd simply listened."
"Yes, it could have been avoided had you listened to us." He nodded his head, but then he cockced it to the side as he gave her a quizzical look. "But, do you really think you are the only one to make mistakes? You think I pointed to my bionics to blame someone else? To show you what happened when someone else fucked up?"
He moved his head back to its normal position, "My left limbs, my eye, my lung, parts of my skull and ribs, and my lower jaw are metal because I made that mistake. It was a fight I picked that didn't need to be picked. So if you think you are the only one who has ever made a mistake, then perhaps you need to open your eyes a bit more. Welcome to being the leader of hundreds of people, Admiral. Risks will have to be taken, and unless lady luck froths at your mere prescence you will fuck up at one point or another."
"No one died because of your risk, Admiral. Those Knights did not die because they came for you. They died because the Sentinel-Major ordered an attack on the planet, an attack he planned from the start." He narrowed his eyes at her. "So I think the next thing you need to learn is to stop beating yourself up and get back to leading the people. Welcome to being human, where making mistakes is quite common. Enjoy the fact that in the grand scheme of things, your mistake had little cost to it." He finished, locking his eyes with her's as he did.
A faint blush crossed her cheeks as her eyes lowered when he first started talking to her. As he continued, at some point she raised her gaze up to look at him. Her outlook on the Commodore was steadily changing the more he talked to her. At that moment she was rather glad that he'd shown up first instead of the Major though she knew she was still going to have to deal with him and somehow apologize profusely.
"Commodore..." Arina breathed, then took her lower lip and bit it as she nodded her head and clenched her arms tighter together. She couldn't get her voice to answer him that time, only able to nod without leaking tears. So far she'd done rather well at not bursting out, but she wasn't sure how long that would last when the Major showed up. Speaking of apologizing, she couldn't recall if she'd said so to Commodore Nash or not just yet. She didn't think so.
"I sincerely apologize for my mistake in disobeying the Sentinel-Major," she offered to him, hoping that it would be enough for the moment. Arina was already trying to figure out how she would make it up to both of them throughout their mission to recolonize Ko'val and the rest of the trip remaining.
"Perhaps you should direct that apology at me, rather than the Commodore." Aigidios' voice spoke from the doorway. Nash turned his eyes to view the man, the Major meeting the Commodore's gaze. Aigidios walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. The Sentinel-Major was still decked out in his power armor, which was dinged up and dirty from sand, dirt, as well as spots of dried blood. His helmet was tucked under his arm, and he did not have the arm-mounted assault rifle equipped. "What brings you here, Commodore Nash? I do not recall inviting you to join in this dicussion."
The Commodore's voice took on his normal hard tone as he responded, "I do not recall ever requiring your permission to board a vessel that is not under your command, nor to listen in on a matter that involves all of us." Nash responded back, drawing a scowl from the Knight.
"Then if you are done, I wish to speak with the Admiral." Aigidios said, while turning his eyes to Arina.
"Then go ahead, I will not interrupt." Nash said, not having taken his eyes off the Sentinel-Major.
"Without you here, Commodore." Aigidios said, turning his eyes back to the Naval Officer.
Nash turned his eyes to Arina, "I believe it is the Admiral's choice on whether or not I am dismissed from her vessel and room." he said while watching her.
Arina had nearly jumped out of her skin at the Major's voice. As it was she just barely stiffled a gasp of shock, and did jolt as she stood there. Her fear only subsided slightly as he walked into the room with his power armor still on and looking quite literally like hell. Her breath caught in her throat and almost refused to come free as she stood there, frozen to the spot.
It was made even worse as the two commanders had a bit of an arguement with one another. When Aigidios practically ordered the Commodore to leave, her heart skipped a beat and she almost shook her head no immediately. She wasn't sure she could handle the Major on her own, yet at the same time she'd thought for certain she wouldn't have been able to speak to the Commodore alone and she had managed, and surprisingly he was very gentle.
Perhaps the Sentinel-Major would be as well?
There really was only one way to find out. Still, she wasn't quite sure having the Commodore leave entirely was something she was comfortable with. Glancing between them two of them as she stood there with slight chills curling up and down her spine, she finally made her decision, "C-Commodore, if you could step out? But... Remain outside, please," she said, partially asking for him to remain in the hall and hoping that he would agree.
The Commodore turned his eyes to look at Arina before turning back to the Major. "Then I shall." he then walked past the Sentinel-Major, who watched the officer head through the door and shut it behind him before Aigidios turn his attention on the Admiral.
Aigidios watched her for a while, before finally finding his words. "We warned you about the danger of going down to that planet Admiral. And you barely made it out of there alive, hell you barely made it out of there with any dignity."
"I hope next time you will heed our warnings, and swallow that ego of yours. Less you have it forcibly shoved down your throat in an even worse fashion. Honestly, I feel like I should have you suspended from your position, however I have no desire to disrupt the operations as they are right now by having to remove and then instill a new Admiral. That, and I have no desire to put up with the bullshit bureaucracy and red tape ExStella would force on me."
He sighed, crossing his arms, having moved his helmet to be gripped in one of his hands. "So consider yourself very lucky that you get another chance to prove yourself, Admiral Xsan." his tone hardened though as he spoke one last bit, "You do something like that again, however, I will have you removed. Understood?"
Arina couldn't get any words out of her mouth as she watched the Major, frozen to the spot and enduring the best she could under his hard gaze and heavy tone. He was utterly pissed off with her.
It was then that she couldn't keep from crying. Shorter breathes and clenching her arms tighter than before. When he finished, she was all but shaking and trembling.
"Y-yes... Major," she offered the words barely even steady off her tongue, "I will try to improve... F-forgive me, please..."
Her crying made her head swim and she swayed suddenly. Reaching up, she pressed her fingers to her forehead and continued speaking, trying to make coherent sentences by then, "Will start... improving... I can't..."
Arina turned, bracing herself against the table next to her, "I'm sorry, Major... So..." Arina faltered and started to topple, trying to catch herself. She should have gone to see the medic before hand, but she'd been so worked up she couldn't think of doing so at the time.
"I hope for your sake, you do improve." Aigidios said, watching her. He narrowed his eyes though as he watched her seem to sway, gripping her head as she did so. "Admiral?" he asked, his tone having changed to one of concern.
He moved towards her, moving quickly and catching hold of her, making sure to be careful with his grip given that he was wearing his armor still, to stop her from falling over. "Admiral!" he carefully held onto her, having dropped his helmet when he had taken hold of her. He looked over at the door as it opened up, looking at the Commodore as he stepped in to see what the fuss was. "I think the Admiral needs to see the medic, Commodore." Aigidios said while carefully picking up Arina.
Nash nodded his head, looking down at the helmet the Major had dropped. "I'll collect your helmet then." Nash said as he stepped around the Major, who was already heading out the door quickly. Aigidios did not wait for The Commodore, heading straight towards the med-bay with the Admiral in his arms, slipping by people as his pace quickened.
"Admiral Xsan, this is not exactly a good step on the whole 'proving yourself' thing when you get sick waiting on us." Aigidios said as he made his way through the hallways, reaching the med-bay rather quickly, thanks to his power armor improving his walking speed. He walked inside and looked around for the nearest doctor as he did so, casting a glance at Arina for a moment before going back to his search.
"She is an odd one, least in regards to her own well being, Sentinel-Major." Nash spoke up from behind, causing the Knight to turn and look at The Commodore, who had the Major's helmet in his left hand.
"Well, you move rather quickly for someone with a fake leg." Aigidios said back, looking around once again.
"It may be a bit rigid in its movements, Sentinel-Major, but it is still a bionic limb, after all." Nash said back, eyeing the entire bay as he did.
Arina wasn't quite sure how she ended up in Major Aigidios arms. Her head swam horribly as she was lifted up and carried into the hall. She was limp for the majority of the journey to the medical bay, and only half heard what he said. Her not being able to start the 'proving herself' to them was painful to hear and she tried to lift herself in his grip but failed utterly.
"Sorry... Major... It's just... A flu, or cold... I don't know," she muttered, "Got it while on Ko'val..." shame flooded her body and she cursed herself for her utter weakness, "Was already sick before the meeting."
"What now? We just saw you, Admiral," the voice of the doctor who Arina had seen hours ago distracted her from further trying to explain to the Major. He probably already understood the situation, but she wasn't paying attention, too busy with her pounding head, shivers of feeling far too cold and overall aching in every muscle and bone in her body.
Arina looked over to the doctor but only shook her head, biting her lip as she moved again, shifting in Major Aigidios' arms. The doctor made a sound, as if displeased with the situation and pointed out one of the few open beds for the Major to take the Admiral too as he started getting together a few things to recheck her.
"What happened?" he asked, the tone slightly impatient but not to the point of being annoyed.
"Well doctor, either she was hiding some kind of illness, or I scared her so much her body is shutting down out of fright." Aigidios said as he walked over to the indicated bed and set Arina down on it. He then turned, taking the helmet from The Commodore as he offered it to the Knight. "Thank you."
"I suggest you tie her to the bed, doctor. She's prone to running off to do silly things, it seems." Nash added while turning to look at the doctor. He then turned to look back at the Admiral. "Well, I think any discussions can continue after you recover, Admiral. I will be returning to The Wind now." he then looked up at the Major. "Good day to you, Sentinel-Major."
Aigidios looked at Nash, nodding his head and simply grunting in response, watching as the officer turned and made his way out of the bay. He then looked back at the Admiral before at the doctor. "Good luck with her, and if you could, keep the Commodore and myself up to date on her condition. We'd like to know if her illness turns out to be worse than she makes it out to be."
"Fine..." Arina muttered as she was laid out upon the mattress. Dizzy the moment her head hit the pillow she sort of lay there, sprawled out and feeling as if her body was made of lead.
"You look anything but fine, Admiral," the doctor said as she opened her mouth with a wooden spoon like thing and stuck a thermometer into her mouth to which she grimaced but held there anyway. The digital counter climbed in number rapidly until it stopped and beeped loudly a few moments after.
The doctor made an annoyed sound as he pulled it out of her mouth, "Forgive me for being blunt, but damn it, Admiral. The hell were you thinking? 106 degree fever, I'm amazed you're still awake," he shook his head with a heavy sigh.
"Just... Medicine, then I'll be fine."
The doctor looked up to the Major who spoke after the Commodore left. Nodding he worked around Aigidios and the bed, grabbing a few things, medicines and cold patches to bring down the fever, blankets and other items too, "Yes, I'll send you reports on her condition as it changes. If anything happens, you and the Commodore will be the first to know. I'll be keeping her here until she's recovered."
"No, I have work-"
"So that you may run yourself into the ground? I don't think so," the doctor gave her a deadly looking glare before turning to Aigidios, "Perhaps you should stay on the ship? Unless you're needed elsewhere? You say you might have frightened her, maybe it'll keep her in bed," he finished, giving Arina a pointed glare over his shoulder.
Aigidios closed his eyes, shaking his head at Arina's insistence to get up. He then opened his eyes again to look at her. "Admiral Xsan, working at a temperature of 106 degrees falls into the category of stupid. Don't do it, or you might just end up killing yourself and saving me the trouble of going through ExStella. So how about we avoid having you kill yourself, alright?"
He adjusted his helmet in his hands, moving closer to the Admiral's bed. "Besides, you have Mr. Ashley to help you with things if needed. He's right over there, anyways." Aigidios then pointed over to one of the beds a few rows down. In it was lying Alten, who currently was asleep, his hand wrapped up in a thick casing of bandages. Aigidios then looked back down at her. "I'm sure he'll be up and running soon, less the doctors told him to sit still as well. In any case, don't work."
With that, The Sentinel-Major then looked up at the doctor. "I do need to leave, as we are not finished down on the surface. As I said, good luck with her." He then looked at Arina, "Good luck to you as well, Admiral Xsan." He then turned and made his way towards the door, setting his helmet back on over his head as he left the bay.