A soft knock echoed into the space, followed by the sound of a door opening. The tread gave the person away as Nostariel right away, most likely, and she poked her head into the back room where the other two were, looking pleasantly surprised to see Aurora there. āWell hello there, you two.ā She smiled brightly, then indicated the small crate she carried. āAmalia, I brought you those herbs I was talking about. The ones from the mountainside.ā She had noticed a fair amount of useable plants growing near the spot sheād located for her practice, and mentioned the herbs, if not the location, to Amalia, who had indicated interest in augmenting her present stock.
āIf youāre looking for more exotic varieties though, Aurora is magic with seeds. Erā¦ no pun intended.ā Her smile turned wry, and she shook her head. It seemed that Ash was beginning to influence her choice of phrase, quite without her meaning to. Soon she would be making pun-jokes on purpose.
Amalia had indeed recognized the footsteps as belonging to Nostariel, and nodded her gratitude when the Warden stepped into the room with a collection of herbs in tow. She had been familiar with Auroraās gardening skill beforehand, but had to admit, she had not thought to call upon it for this purpose before. Perhaps it was something to consider, if she could procure the right seeds. āJoin us, if you will,ā she offered, gesturing to a third side of the square table. āWe were just talking about teaching. Perhaps you have something to offer, from the Circle?ā Amalia was unsure if Nostariel had ever taught, but she had clearly been taught, and very well, from the skill with which she deployed her magic.
āTeaching?ā Nostariel accepted the third seat easily, and with gratitude. In a manner much like the other two, she drew her feet up underneath her rather than allowing them to stretch out in front of her. Funny, how after a time, this had become the more natural thing for her to do. Helping herself to some tea, she inhaled the spicy aroma and smiled. It wasnāt something she could down quickly, to be sure, but she could savor it slowly. āMy teacher was a Senior Enchanter. I suspect she might have been made First Enchanter eventually, but Iām told that after the Starkhaven Circle burned, she was transferred to Montsimmard.ā Most of the Starkhaven Circle had been merged with the one in Kirkwall, though she knew few of the mages there now. Perhaps many of her old friends had been moved along with Sarra.
āI thinkā¦ the most important thing is to have patience, and not be afraid to repeat yourself. Learning is different for everyone, and the students can sometimes get disappointed in themselves or discouraged very quickly. Reminding them that you believe in them, and pointing out the things they do well, that can be just as helpful as constructive critique.ā She shrugged a little, taking another sip of tea. āButā¦ Iāve never had to do a lot of teaching, myself. I left the Circle before being asked to do much more than babysit the really young ones, make sure they didnāt light anything on fire. Thatās a bit different.ā
"Is it? I'm asking for Sparrow," Aurora replied, laughing gently. Sparrow had a grasp on her magic, Aurora wasn't worried about her setting anything on fire any time soon, but her application was rather blunt, kind of like how she fought. However, she didn't think this would change any time soon unless Sparrow specifically sought it out. If anything Aurora wanted to give her options and expand her control and focus to make her better, not different. "I didn't do much teaching in my Circle, either, I looked after the herbs if you can believe that. They did give me something to build on though, but I don't think I showed much teaching ability. No patience, like you said." That was a long time ago, and Aurora has since learned its virtue. Though she was still bold, Amalia helped temper her rashness.
Nostariel could definitely believe that Aurora had been in charge of the plants. She certainly had a knack for them. The Warden was a little surprised to hear that Sparrow was the student in question, but perhaps she should not have been. āWell, Iām sure youāll do just fine, but if you ever want my helpā¦ or maybe need to patch someone up after a mishapā¦ Iām here.ā One never knew with magic; it was unpredictable, especially when a person was learning something new. Hence the remote practice location.
āSo, Amalia, Iāve been meaning to ask you.ā Nostariel wasnāt exactly sure how to approach the topic, but this setting, relaxed and convivial as it was, didnāt seem like a bad idea. āYou, ahā¦ you didnāt leave when the other Qunari did. Is that because you are supposed to be doing something different here still?ā If so, Nostariel couldnāt imagine what it was. Kirkwall was admittedly not the most stable place still, and she could sense that things would probably get worse again, but not in a way she would have imagined had anything to do with the Qunari. So her friendās continued presence was a bit of a mystery. Not that she minded of courseāNostariel firmly believed that Kirkwall was a better place for her presence, the Alienage especially.
Amalia pursed her lips. It was only natural that the inquiry should come eventuallyāshe was a little surprised it had not done so sooner, considering the fact that sheād been making a rather obvious and concerted effort to understand more of the nuances of the environment in which she now found herself. And indeed, it had been more than a year, and still she was present. āIām not going back,ā she said softly, setting her empty cup down and for the moment declining to refill it. Instead, she folded her hands in her lap, studying the wood grain of her table intently. āI stillā¦ I find it difficult to think of myself as human. I was raised to be a Qunari, and part of me always will be. But I cannot go back. Not anymore.ā
This place, these peopleā¦ she wondered if they understood how profoundly they had changed her. Here she was, raised in the Qun, and having a conversation with two free mages. Saarebas. Dangerous things. Dangerous peopleāand that was just it. She had never been able to see them as things, only as people like her. She should have kept a better distance, perhaps, but at the time, sheād thought what she did instead was better. A superior method of ensuring that Aurora did not bow to that in her which would be tempted to deal with demons. She did not regret her choice, seeing that same girl sitting in front of her, child no more, and confident and skilled enough to teach others to be stronger, better mages.
āI am Tal-Vashoth now, I suppose.ā Her tone betrayed her mixed feelings on the matter, a thread of melancholy laced in with what was otherwise quite a factual statement. āI owe the Qun, and my people, much, but I am no longer one of them. Perhaps it has been a very long time since I was.ā Perhaps this change, this slow descent, had begun the moment she decided to open her eyes. Perhaps it had begun long before that, when she paid the price for her blindness. A price she could not help but be reminded of every time she saw her own skin.
āBut in its absence, I am no longer sure what to be.ā That barely scratched the surface of her confusions and difficulties, but it was the general idea, she supposed.
Aurora was quiet, and let Amalia answer the question. It was one that she'd been curious about as well, but could never find a way to work it into a conversation. She didn't possess Nostariel's tact. She held on to the teacup as Amalia explained what she thought and how she felt. It wasn't until she had finished did she finally speak. "To the Qunari," Aurora corrected gently, "You are Tal-Vashoth."
She took her hands off of her teacup and crossed them over her chest, leaning back as she did a smile still on her face. "To us, you are what you always were. A friend. I think the word is... Kadan? And I'd like it if that's what you continue you to be."
Nostariel didnāt know any Qunlat, but she could agree with the general sentiment well enough. āYou donāt have to be human, in the sense that youāre talking about. Even if you donāt think you can be Qunari, either. You just have to be whatever it is that feels right to you.ā She couldnāt say she understood what it was like, to have an identity conundrum that ran that deep, but she understood at least a little. Navigating being an elf and a mage and a Wardenā¦ it was little surprise that a lot of people didnāt know quite how to react to her. That was two negatives and a very big positive to most people. Most of the time, Nostariel honestly only cared about being Nostariel. She couldnāt claim a great deal of cultural heritage, either from a city or a clan, nor entirely even from a Circle, because she had grown out of many of her old habits.
āSometimes, there isnāt a word for what we are. And thatās not because thereās something wrong with being that way. Itās because people havenāt had to have a word for us yet, thatās all.ā She smiled, in a way that she hoped conveyed her sincerity.
Amalia supposed she could understand that. How many times had she run into situations where Qunlat was inadequate to describe something? Too many to hold much faith that any language had all the words she needed. Slowly, she nodded her head, giving an answer by way of returning to Auroraās question. āKadan isā¦ not quite the right word.ā She suspected it meant something slightly different for every Qunari, as some freely used it among their coworkers, others only with close friends and still others not at all. She felt distinctly wrong using it for any person but one, though these two were both extremely important to her also. Justā¦ differently.
āButā¦ I do believe friends works perfectly adequately.ā As for what she was nowā¦ Amalia found it hard to believe it was really as simple as they made it sound, but on the other handā¦ did she not call herself Amalia? There was nothing about that at least that had changed, even if she was no longer Ben-Hassrath or Qunari. Her changes, however sweeping, could not erase what she had done, what she had endured, and whatever the words, she was yet the same woman who had endured it.
Perhaps it really was that simple. āThank you, both of you. For being friends to me.ā
āIf youāre looking for more exotic varieties though, Aurora is magic with seeds. Erā¦ no pun intended.ā Her smile turned wry, and she shook her head. It seemed that Ash was beginning to influence her choice of phrase, quite without her meaning to. Soon she would be making pun-jokes on purpose.
Amalia had indeed recognized the footsteps as belonging to Nostariel, and nodded her gratitude when the Warden stepped into the room with a collection of herbs in tow. She had been familiar with Auroraās gardening skill beforehand, but had to admit, she had not thought to call upon it for this purpose before. Perhaps it was something to consider, if she could procure the right seeds. āJoin us, if you will,ā she offered, gesturing to a third side of the square table. āWe were just talking about teaching. Perhaps you have something to offer, from the Circle?ā Amalia was unsure if Nostariel had ever taught, but she had clearly been taught, and very well, from the skill with which she deployed her magic.
āTeaching?ā Nostariel accepted the third seat easily, and with gratitude. In a manner much like the other two, she drew her feet up underneath her rather than allowing them to stretch out in front of her. Funny, how after a time, this had become the more natural thing for her to do. Helping herself to some tea, she inhaled the spicy aroma and smiled. It wasnāt something she could down quickly, to be sure, but she could savor it slowly. āMy teacher was a Senior Enchanter. I suspect she might have been made First Enchanter eventually, but Iām told that after the Starkhaven Circle burned, she was transferred to Montsimmard.ā Most of the Starkhaven Circle had been merged with the one in Kirkwall, though she knew few of the mages there now. Perhaps many of her old friends had been moved along with Sarra.
āI thinkā¦ the most important thing is to have patience, and not be afraid to repeat yourself. Learning is different for everyone, and the students can sometimes get disappointed in themselves or discouraged very quickly. Reminding them that you believe in them, and pointing out the things they do well, that can be just as helpful as constructive critique.ā She shrugged a little, taking another sip of tea. āButā¦ Iāve never had to do a lot of teaching, myself. I left the Circle before being asked to do much more than babysit the really young ones, make sure they didnāt light anything on fire. Thatās a bit different.ā
"Is it? I'm asking for Sparrow," Aurora replied, laughing gently. Sparrow had a grasp on her magic, Aurora wasn't worried about her setting anything on fire any time soon, but her application was rather blunt, kind of like how she fought. However, she didn't think this would change any time soon unless Sparrow specifically sought it out. If anything Aurora wanted to give her options and expand her control and focus to make her better, not different. "I didn't do much teaching in my Circle, either, I looked after the herbs if you can believe that. They did give me something to build on though, but I don't think I showed much teaching ability. No patience, like you said." That was a long time ago, and Aurora has since learned its virtue. Though she was still bold, Amalia helped temper her rashness.
Nostariel could definitely believe that Aurora had been in charge of the plants. She certainly had a knack for them. The Warden was a little surprised to hear that Sparrow was the student in question, but perhaps she should not have been. āWell, Iām sure youāll do just fine, but if you ever want my helpā¦ or maybe need to patch someone up after a mishapā¦ Iām here.ā One never knew with magic; it was unpredictable, especially when a person was learning something new. Hence the remote practice location.
āSo, Amalia, Iāve been meaning to ask you.ā Nostariel wasnāt exactly sure how to approach the topic, but this setting, relaxed and convivial as it was, didnāt seem like a bad idea. āYou, ahā¦ you didnāt leave when the other Qunari did. Is that because you are supposed to be doing something different here still?ā If so, Nostariel couldnāt imagine what it was. Kirkwall was admittedly not the most stable place still, and she could sense that things would probably get worse again, but not in a way she would have imagined had anything to do with the Qunari. So her friendās continued presence was a bit of a mystery. Not that she minded of courseāNostariel firmly believed that Kirkwall was a better place for her presence, the Alienage especially.
Amalia pursed her lips. It was only natural that the inquiry should come eventuallyāshe was a little surprised it had not done so sooner, considering the fact that sheād been making a rather obvious and concerted effort to understand more of the nuances of the environment in which she now found herself. And indeed, it had been more than a year, and still she was present. āIām not going back,ā she said softly, setting her empty cup down and for the moment declining to refill it. Instead, she folded her hands in her lap, studying the wood grain of her table intently. āI stillā¦ I find it difficult to think of myself as human. I was raised to be a Qunari, and part of me always will be. But I cannot go back. Not anymore.ā
This place, these peopleā¦ she wondered if they understood how profoundly they had changed her. Here she was, raised in the Qun, and having a conversation with two free mages. Saarebas. Dangerous things. Dangerous peopleāand that was just it. She had never been able to see them as things, only as people like her. She should have kept a better distance, perhaps, but at the time, sheād thought what she did instead was better. A superior method of ensuring that Aurora did not bow to that in her which would be tempted to deal with demons. She did not regret her choice, seeing that same girl sitting in front of her, child no more, and confident and skilled enough to teach others to be stronger, better mages.
āI am Tal-Vashoth now, I suppose.ā Her tone betrayed her mixed feelings on the matter, a thread of melancholy laced in with what was otherwise quite a factual statement. āI owe the Qun, and my people, much, but I am no longer one of them. Perhaps it has been a very long time since I was.ā Perhaps this change, this slow descent, had begun the moment she decided to open her eyes. Perhaps it had begun long before that, when she paid the price for her blindness. A price she could not help but be reminded of every time she saw her own skin.
āBut in its absence, I am no longer sure what to be.ā That barely scratched the surface of her confusions and difficulties, but it was the general idea, she supposed.
Aurora was quiet, and let Amalia answer the question. It was one that she'd been curious about as well, but could never find a way to work it into a conversation. She didn't possess Nostariel's tact. She held on to the teacup as Amalia explained what she thought and how she felt. It wasn't until she had finished did she finally speak. "To the Qunari," Aurora corrected gently, "You are Tal-Vashoth."
She took her hands off of her teacup and crossed them over her chest, leaning back as she did a smile still on her face. "To us, you are what you always were. A friend. I think the word is... Kadan? And I'd like it if that's what you continue you to be."
Nostariel didnāt know any Qunlat, but she could agree with the general sentiment well enough. āYou donāt have to be human, in the sense that youāre talking about. Even if you donāt think you can be Qunari, either. You just have to be whatever it is that feels right to you.ā She couldnāt say she understood what it was like, to have an identity conundrum that ran that deep, but she understood at least a little. Navigating being an elf and a mage and a Wardenā¦ it was little surprise that a lot of people didnāt know quite how to react to her. That was two negatives and a very big positive to most people. Most of the time, Nostariel honestly only cared about being Nostariel. She couldnāt claim a great deal of cultural heritage, either from a city or a clan, nor entirely even from a Circle, because she had grown out of many of her old habits.
āSometimes, there isnāt a word for what we are. And thatās not because thereās something wrong with being that way. Itās because people havenāt had to have a word for us yet, thatās all.ā She smiled, in a way that she hoped conveyed her sincerity.
Amalia supposed she could understand that. How many times had she run into situations where Qunlat was inadequate to describe something? Too many to hold much faith that any language had all the words she needed. Slowly, she nodded her head, giving an answer by way of returning to Auroraās question. āKadan isā¦ not quite the right word.ā She suspected it meant something slightly different for every Qunari, as some freely used it among their coworkers, others only with close friends and still others not at all. She felt distinctly wrong using it for any person but one, though these two were both extremely important to her also. Justā¦ differently.
āButā¦ I do believe friends works perfectly adequately.ā As for what she was nowā¦ Amalia found it hard to believe it was really as simple as they made it sound, but on the other handā¦ did she not call herself Amalia? There was nothing about that at least that had changed, even if she was no longer Ben-Hassrath or Qunari. Her changes, however sweeping, could not erase what she had done, what she had endured, and whatever the words, she was yet the same woman who had endured it.
Perhaps it really was that simple. āThank you, both of you. For being friends to me.ā