Snippet #2580862

"There was an argument. I don't know why it started, but Kyle pushed Harper-"
Oh no. This was exactly the type of thing that he was hoping to avoid. One of the reasons why he had avoided his friends initially was because he didn't want any confrontations like this. Didn't want to witness it.

"Then Tallyho suddenly told Harper exactly what she thought of him and then the three of them started arguing with Kyle threatening Harper and Harper and Tallyho monologuing at each other until because all of them wanted to have the last word."
This didn't sound good. He'd have to talk to them about what happened when everyone had calmed down, including himself. And when he did he'd stand up for himself.

"Then, I don't know, I guess what they were saying hit too hard, Harper reacted badly, and he tried to..."
Tried to? Tried to do what? Xabier was so confused. Did he try to hit them? To fight back? To....?
No.
No.
He didn't. Xabier looked up at Harper in shock.
Since when was it this bad? Was he hurting this bad all this time?
Xabier had thought that everything had been going well for them. Perfect even. Yet all this time...
Shellshocked wasn't strong enough to describe how he felt right now.
Scary thoughts flooded in, unwanted. What if this was his fault? What if he pushed the situation to end up like this?
Even worse he had believed that he was doing the right thing. Xabier had been so sure.
Now, not so much.
Oh god, he caused this.
Harper had tried to....
Xabier couldn't even think the word let alone say it.
All he could feel was shame, shame and some more shame.

"And I stopped him. Three years worth of animosity finally boiled over and this cluster fuck of an evening happened."
He looked at Dorian then. Of course, Dorian would be the one to stop him. He was always the one to fix things.

There were no smiles left inside, just a quiet thrumming sound in the back of his ear.
Xabier just stood still and followed the others out to the ballroom.

“I know we're supposed to socialize and all, but if you don't want to talk to anyone I can keep people busy. The same goes for you, Xabier. I mean, it was rough for everyone. So if there's anything I can do...”

"Do what you want." He said, not particularly interested in pretending to be friendly anymore.

Hell, he was busy making small talk while Harper was in so much pain.
This incident had reinforced the widening gap between him and the others, including Harper this time.
The more he thought about it the more he retreated into himself..

He walked straight to Dorian.
"You said you stopped him." He wanted to sound blasé, but it came out just sounding grateful. "Thank you."
He said it calmly but inside he was breaking. He understood what happened but it made no sense.
The thoughts didn't flow right in his head. Chunky pieces of a jigsaw all muddled up and impossible to put together.
Harper was alive, that was good but Xabier couldn't help wondering how it could have turned out if he had succeeded.
He needed to know. And he knew that Dorian didn't like him so he'd probably tell him the truth even if it hurt him.
"Was I in any way responsible for what had happened in there?"