Her gaze was fixed unseeing on the other side of the room as she continued to rock herself back and forth. Her body had completely shut down as emotional overload took its place. Abruptly a voice cut through her trance like a knife. Instantaneously her head snapped to the side to latch onto the source.
"Ember. It's going to be okay, I promise you. I won't let anything hurt you. Please come out, please."
For a moment she could only stare sightlessly at Damion, the words simply being heard and not registered. After a few seconds the sounds finally sunk home and in an instant their meaning became clear. She became immediately reactive.
"You can't promise that." Her voice came out like a growl, an instinctive, uncensored reply to his attempt to comfort her.
Her mind raged at her, fury at how pointless those words were. All she had ever done was try and protect one person, and had ended up failing in every way. No one could protect anyone else in the facility. Emotional links to other people were only manipulated and used as a source for further punishment.
Then the context of the situation brightened, and dimly she realised she had snapped at Damion. She let out a groan, her hands covering her face once again.
"How about we go to our room okay? It's been a long day. I'm sure you could use a rest."
She took in another shuddering breath before mustering the energy to remove her hands and look at him properly. Concern was etched deep into his features and he had a hand proffered, promising some sort of assistance. His worry snapped her out of it.
"I'm sorry." she managed to croak out, desperately trying to gather the shattered pieces of her personality back in order. Still shaking she disjointedly took his gloved hand and allowed him to pull her out from her temporary hiding place.
"I'm a mess." she found herself whispering. After two years she had convinced herself that had managed to control her emotions and had become as unfeeling as necessary. Without a depressive incident for three months she had assumed she had adapted enough to her environment and had accepted what was left of her life. And then Sam had to smash through her carefully built up protection with his proposed plans. The latest episode had lasted almost a week, proving just how incapable she really was of patching up the damage.
A wave of dizziness ran through her and she clamped her eyes shut for a few seconds before the moment passed.
"I need to sit down…" Without letting go of Damion she half collapsed into a nearby chair. After a few minutes the solid feeling of the chair and time to recuperate allowed to return to a more functional level. She took a quick glance around the room, pleasantly surprised to find it empty.
"We're finally alone." She whispered the words before a faint smile played over her face. She spoke up louder this time. "No more facades."
For a moment this realisation was enough to keep her happily content, but then she darkened slightly, a half frown transforming her features.
"What happened since…." Her face twisted slightly as she attempted to word her question. How to ask about a lost two years? And how to sensitively ask after what you most certainly did not want to know, and yet simultaneously had to understand?