Stephen was not himself, not the usual strong willed man who came up with dangerous plans to either escape or defy sam. He was almost detached from himself. Like the the real Stephen was on vacation and some tired substitute was filling in. She could tell he was hurt on the inside, and it saddened her that she couldn't do anything about it. She delicately, so as not to move her head so much, shifted so that she was pressed into him, her head still supported by the pillow but now resting slightly on his shoulder. Although she felt weak physically, she offered Stephen this small comfort, that despite all this she was right here, and not going anywhere.
Delirium wasn't sure what had been going on while she was dealing with Lydia and Rezia. Frankly, she felt awful for just leaving him be even though she knew there was nothing she could do. It was clear now that doing anything would have been better than nothing. Seeing him like this was tearing her to pieces.
"It's ok," he finally responded, "I shouldn't be acting weak like this." Delirium sighed and gently laced her fingers through his. "Sometimes all I can do is to keep fighting, like I know that nothing else is in my control but my own defiance. And other days I just want to give up. To call it quits, not do what Sam says so that maybe in a bout of anger he'll kill me." She mused slowly, the words tumbling about hesitantly. She brought Stephen's hand that was intertwined in hers and brought it to her lips and kissed each knuckle individually, each kiss with the intention to bring him back to who he was. For the millionth time she began to note how tired she was.
"Why can't we be weak for a while? Let someone else make the decisions. Just lie down and sleep. I haven't gotten a good night's sleep since the day I was born. Let's stop pretending everything is ok and that we will make it out of here. Maybe we will. But for now let's be weak." She placed her other hand on his and looked up at him, trying to offer him one last comfort. She showed him all his happiest memories, which, growing up as they did, were not that many. But she created this illusion for him. The illusion of happiness. Because sometimes illusions are just reflections of reality.