James did not know how to feel about being home. He didn't think he'd ever return. It was too dangerous, the cops had said. That night, a few had looked at him with pity, but most treated it as matter-of-fact. He was lucky he hadn't gone to jail. What had he expected when he started dealing and later turned snitch? If his suppliers ever found him, they'd kill him.
Yet, it had been hard to leave everyone behind. So hard. On one hand, he didn't need to look Spence in the eyes and take responsibility for his role in turning him into an addict. On the other hand, he'd have to leave his family behind along with his other close friends. Rosemary stood out in that regard. He wanted to confess to her his feelings the night he left, but he couldn't. He had delayed it so many times in the past until it was too late. She deserved better than an ex-drug dealer who was lucky to have his GED.
Yet, he had always been selfish. That was why he had left the awkward dinner conversation at his parents' house and sat on his favorite old swing in the park. The chains were rusting and he wouldn't trust swinging on it now, but it brought to mind a time where everything was so much brighter. That was him being retrospective, though. Rose's father was a bastard. It wasn't a good time for her. Still, he texted her.
To Rosemary:
I'm at the usual spot... Will you come see me?
I'm at the usual spot... Will you come see me?
A better man wouldn't have sent it, but James wasn't a better man. He fiddled for his cigarettes in his jacket, but her jerked his hand away. Not here.