Somehow, it was almost as though Romano could hear their voices.
He observed the group, noticing that some of their members had clearly broken down at the mere sight of their faces. Still, at least everyone seemed to be getting along if nothing else.
"You have earned a long rest, Miss Vivara," Romano said softly. "Please do not worry about us tomorrow--if needed, I will inform you of what happened during the meeting."
There was a brief moment of quiet. Then...
"I...I-I'm sorry."
It was the first time Clair has spoken a word out loud since she arrived in the conference room. Though her face was still buried in her hands and her voice was hoarse, Romano was just glad to know the portraits hadn't hit her too hard.
Faqir, conversely, tensed up almost immediately. "'Sorry' doesn't bring them back or fix what you did."
"I know," Clair whispered. She sniffled loudly. "I...I-I'm so sorry."
Faqir whirled towards her, genuine fury in his eyes for what had to have been the first time as his fist slammed onto the table. Clair jumped. Madoka flinched.
"What are you doing here?!" Faqir demanded.
"I-I just thought--"
"You thought what, that we might want to see you again after what you did?! You killed them, manipulated Madoka, broke Mercy's heart, and used me as your little tool with no regard to my safety! I still have scars on my face thanks to you! Why did you come here?!"
"Faqir, please!" Madoka cried. Romano cast a glance at Oni, who groaned--she was clearly frustrated her exorcism hadn't worked to fully purge the feelings.
She opened her mouth to speak, but Romano shushed her. Oni looked at him quizzically.
"Perhaps we just need to talk about it," Romano said quietly. "...Let them talk about it, and perhaps the poison can be purged."
Oni nodded. "Sometimes demons do like to possess one's speech..."
By now, Faqir's posture made it clear he was livid. "God, at least Xhevona died for what she did! At least we could try to tell ourselves she deserved it! At least she got some kind of punishment! Even if losing her sucked too, at least there was some kind of justification, but Braeden?! He didn't deserve that! You threw him under the bus like he was yesterday's leftovers just because you were scared of some secret getting out?! Just because you didn't want to die?! H*ll, I would have rather you died!"
"Faqir!" Madoka gripped Clair's hand with both of his. "Please, you have no idea what you're talking about, okay? Clair has suffered enough, trust me!"
Faqir laughed, though the sound felt forced. Oni tensed--Romano grabbed her shoulder to keep her from intervening. Obediently, she fell silent.
"How are you okay with what she did to you?!" Faqir demanded. "She made you into an accomplice! She probably would have sold you out just like she did with Braeden! If it weren't for her, Eriko would still be sitting right there!"
His finger pinpointed Eriko's old seat, which sat depressingly empty. Romano averted his eyes. Even looking at her old spot was somehow difficult to do.
"I-I'm sorry..." Clair said feebly. "I-I really tried to...I-I thought, I just...I wanted..."
"God, you still don't get it, do you, you thick b*tch?" Faqir had begun pacing by now, running his hands through his bangs. "I don't forgive you, okay, and I don't think I ever will. You should have died in that trial, not Braeden. You should have died to keep your own secret, not Eriko. You got people killed out of pure selfishness, and you know what?! You weren't even punished for it!"
"I-I tried!" Clair insisted, drawing her hands away from her face.
"If Monokuma really wants to keep the peace, he should have executed you!" Faqir whirled to face Clair, shaking with rage. "H*ll, you wanna know something! I even voted for you!"
Clair sprung to her feet, fists clenched by her sides and tears streaming down her face. "So did I!"
For a moment, Faqir didn't respond. In the silence, Romano remembered Monokuma's strange choice of words during the voting.
Majority rule. So that is what he meant.
Clair sniffled, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. After a moment's pause, she began to unzip her jacket. "D-do you really think I haven't been torn up by this too? I know this is all my fault, I know you must all hate me, I...I don't even expect you to forgive me because I can't even forgive myself! I tried to die in that trial!"
"Well, you didn't try hard enough." Faqir crossed his arms. His teeth clenched. "If you knew we didn't want you here, why did you come?"
"I don't know!" Clair turned to face Madoka, her lip quivering. "Madoka, I told you I wanted to leave twice already, y-you said we could leave..."
"I-I just wanted them to like you!"
"I know this is petty, okay?" Faqir groaned, tugging at the chain around his neck. "I know it is! But I just--I just want you to suffer like they did, okay?!"
Clair tugged off her jacket and shoved her bare arms towards Faqir, her eyes locked into his. Romano peered at her skin, noticing what had to be hundreds of lacerations of various sizes carved into her body. Pricks had been made on her shoulders, and wounds from where her fingernails had scratched her chest, face, and neck were on clear display.
"Is this suffering enough for you?!"
Faqir appeared caught off-guard, taking a single step backwards. His eyes locked on the scars all over Clair's body. Madoka, sitting beside her, forced himself to focus on the portraits rather than Clair. Oni began mumbling more blessings. Romano observed her, realizing the wounds had clearly not been properly cared for--some even seemed close to infection.
To be expected. She has not come out of her room in days. Is this what she was doing in there?
"I tried again and again to bleed enough so I would stop breathing!" Clair cried. "I hate myself for what I did to them! I-if I could do the whole thing over again, I would have killed myself instead of taking it all out on them! B-but I was selfish, I-I was just so obsessed with finally...finally stopping this, I just wanted it all to end so I could try to get back to a stable life but it only made things worse...s-so, so much worse..."
Faqir's hands shook, staring at her. "Clair--"
"No, it's..." Clair slowly lowered her arms, slipping her jacket back on. Her sleeves once again covered her wounds, the zipper rising to conceal her body. "I...I-I didn't show you do you would pity me. I didn't show you so you would forgive me, or so you would think I was looking for attention. I just...I-I just wanted you to know that I'm suffering."
Madoka reached out to take her hand in his. She allowed him, her posture going limp.
Faqir stared at her, eyes wavering. "...I didn't mean it like that."
"Don't worry." A hint of Clair's familiar smile returned--but by now, Romano could tell even that was fake. "I...I've been at this for a long time. I-I'm just used to it, h-haha."
Romano couldn't take the tension anymore. "If you will allow, I am sure one of us with basic nursing knowledge--I have a bit myself, though nowhere near what Master Finnian and Miss Vivara must have--would be glad to treat those wounds, Miss Clair."
Clair tugged on Madoka's arm. "D-don't bother. Madoka, I-I want to go back to my room now."
"C-Clair--"
"Please." The brokenness in her voice was scarily familiar. Romano watched Madoka slowly stand and move to the door with Clair, who nearly threw open the door and made to escape the conference room. Her hand tugged out of Madoka's, leaving him some paces behind as her pace brought her back down the hall. Madoka paused, slowly looking back towards Faqir.
"...She was just trying to make up with everyone," he muttered, voice low. "I was really hoping that if I managed to get her to come, she would see that everything could still carry on like normal. That maybe we could still treat her like a person. ...I guess that was my mistake."
"No one asked you to take her." Faqir refused to even look at Madoka, eyes locked on where Clair had just been sitting.
"Well, that's fine." Madoka paused. "Maybe I'll just stay with her. Someone can just tell me what happens in the meetings, I...I-I don't know if I can come anymore."
"No!" The force of Oni's cry caught Romano off-guard. The Ultimate Exorcist took a step forwards, genuine sadness in her eyes. For the first time, it seemed, she was speaking out in her worry instead of hiding as she usually did. Admittedly, Romano was surprised by her boldness--usually, she hated anyone seeing her even remotely close to different from usual. "We can't start doing this now! We're already losing people because of that stupid bear's horrible game, and now if everyone who is still alive keeps leaving then soon...soon we won't be a team anymore! What kind of team just lets people go like that?! We're supposed to be sticking together and trying to find away out, because if we start giving up on each other, eventually we're going to give up on everything and we'll all be just like Clair!"
"O-Oni--"
"SILENCE, PEASANT! Don't you get it? We're all hurt and sad and we all hate this and everything is terrible and the demons are pressing in from every corner, but if we let them win then it's game over! That's why I became an exorcist--because I resolved to never let the demons win! They're big and scary and everywhere and they're stronger than us, but not when we're together! When we're together, we're stronger than any demon because we have each other's backs, we support each other and when one of us falls, we pick them up and finish the race together! And darn it, I AM NOT FINISHING THIS RACE WITHOUT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU MORTALS! NOW GO GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND BACK IN HERE AND EVERYONE MAKE UP THIS INSTANCE, SO DECLARES THE DEMON QUEEN!"
"B-but she's not--"
"DID I ASK YOUR OPINION, PEASANT?!"
Startled into obedience, Madoka ran down the hall to chase Clair back and bring her back. Oni stomped over to Faqir and jabbed him in the side with a finger.
"As for YOU, mortal swine, sometimes friends betray us and sometimes people do horrible, awful things, like kill people and then laugh about it or say they just did it for fun! But look at those portraits--not a single one is missing, because all of those people were a part of us, even the horrible ones like Xhevona! If you can accept her for betraying us all and gleefully murdering someone even though she didn't even feel bad for it or say she was sorry, then you can forgive Clair for betraying us all and murdering people and NO I don't want to hear your flimsy human excuses! She is one of us whether you like if or not, so even if you can't forgive her ever, never ever, just...just don't let those demons drag you down because if you do you'll never get back up! You'll be stuck in hell like she is and as the Queen of Hell I can tell you it is a horrible place to live and...AND WE DON'T EVEN GET INSURANCE PACKAGES FOR WORKING THERE!"
Somehow, this actually got a chuckle out of Faqir. He groaned, placing his hands on the table and hanging his head. "I just...I just don't get it. I just don't see how this happened. I trusted her. ...I guess I just wanted to see that she hated herself as much as I do."
"Pfft! I'm pretty sure ALL of us hate ourselves right now! Or probably all the time! I know I do! But some of us choose not to mope around like SUCKERS and WIMPS and instead we get rid of our problems by SCREAMING AT THEM LIKE REAL QUEENS! NOW QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF AND LET US FEEL SORRY FOR YOU INSTEAD, BECAUSE CLEARLY REAL FRIENDSHIP IS BUILT OFF OF EVERYONE KNOWING HOW MUCH WE ALL HATE EVERYTHING AND PUNCHING THE HATE RIGHT IN ITS STUPID DEMON FACE!"
"Yeah!"
Romano had no idea how she had done it, but somehow, Oni had managed to invigorate Faqir with the worst motivational speech he had ever heard.
"ARE YOU WITH ME, GENERAL?!"
"Yes ma'am!"
"GREAT! NOW TAKE ALL THAT ANGER AND SELF-HATRED AND GRIEF AND ANXIETY AND SCREAM IT INTO SUBMISSION!"
"YEAH!"
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
"YEAH!"
Oni pointed at everyone else. "NOW ALL OF YOU! LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW AND WE ALL HATE IT A LOT! BUT THAT'S JUST STUPID DEMONS TRYING TO FORCE US TO HATE EVERYTHING! YOUR QUEEN DEMANDS YOU SCREAM TO RELEASE THE NEGATIVE ENERGY!"
Romano rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help a smile. She was insane, and he knew her plan would most likely fail miserably and make the situation worse...and yet, Oni's antics somehow made things feel okay again.
If nothing else, they were almost back to normal.
I have the worst headache in the best way.