Lyanna's Office - Early Evening - Light Snow
Amalthea von Kreuz
Amalthea von Kreuz was a nervous wreck. She knew she was, and she smoothed out her skirt for what seemed like the umpteenth time. She decided that today was going to be the day she told Lyanna about her plans for the future. She wasn't entirely sure how her sister would take it, however; this was something she wanted. More than anything in her life, this was something Amalthea was choosing for herself, and not because Rhea said so. She was old enough to decide things on her own, to live her own life and decide who she gets to be friends with. Amalthea wanted a life, and after all this time, she knew she'd been denied a proper one.
She didn't think it had anything to do with Lyanna. She loved her sister more than anything in the world, but she thought a lot of it had to do with Rhea's influence. Perhaps Rhea would try to stop her from leaving, however; Amalthea wasn't going to let her. She wanted this. Wanted to go with Vridel to the Empire and be his wife. Not because he was the imperial prince, not because she would become empress, and certainly not for his Crests. The thought still left a bitter taste in her mouth, and it took every ounce of control to keep herself from falling apart. She wasn't going to have a full life with him, but she was going to have his full life.
It wasn't fair.
Whether that was the next five years, or less, she wanted to share her life with his in any way possible. She wanted to make it the best years of his life so that when he finally passed... when it all came to an end, there would be no regrets on his part. Perhaps on hers, but she didn't want him to have any. She fought back the tears that threatened to fall, and took in a deep breath. She needed to remain calm for this. She couldn't go to Lyanna with tears in her eyes, and she didn't want her sister to worry. With that in mind, she steeled herself, and entered Lyanna's office.
“Lyanna, are you in?"
Her sister did seem to be present; however, she didn't immediately acknowledge Amalthea's entrance. In fact, her gaze seemed to be caught out the window, though her eyes were almost too distant even for that, as though she weren't seeing anything at all.
As Amalthea stepped in, though, she shook herself faintly, moving a hand as if to push her hair behind her ear but pausing in the middle of the motion and dropping her arm. She never seemed to like wearing it any way but loose, or at least partly so; come to think of it, Thea couldn't remember ever having seen much of her sister's ears or neck ever. Her hair was always covering it.
“Thea," she said quietly, something vaguely melancholic in her tone. “Come in; please close the door behind you."
Amalthea did as she was told, and closed the door gently behind her as she made her way towards Lyanna. She was a little worried about her sister. Not for what Thea planned to tell her, but because she'd never seen her sister look so... downcast. Once she was standing next to Lyanna, she furrowed her brows and regarded Lyanna with an even gaze.
“Is something bothering you, Lyanna?" she decided to ask, first. What she had to say could wait until she knew Lyanna was fine. Or at least mostly fine. She didn't want to add to her sister's burdens if that weren't the case.
Lyanna shook her head, smiling slightly. “I'm fine," she said, turning her eyes back out the window for a moment. There were people moving around below, of course, but nothing looked out of the ordinary. Some people walking between this building and the dining hall, a couple on a bench—ordinary sights at the monastery. “I was just... remembering something, is all. From a long time ago."
With a short sigh, she moved away from the window and settled in one of the armchairs in her seating area. “What did you need to see me about that couldn't wait until tonight, hm?" The question was asked with a little thread of amusement, as though she might have some kind of idea.
Amalthea was vaguely alarmed. Did her sister already know? “Oh, well," she began, taking a seat across from Lyanna. “I... well, after graduation," she continued, pursing her lips together for a moment. It shouldn't have been this hard to tell her sister about her plans. She'd rehearsed it to nigh perfection, and now it seemed like everything just flew out the window. Taking in a deep breath, she calmed her beating heart which was beating faster for some reason.
“I want... I want to leave the monastery after graduation," she stated as calmly as she could. Thea wasn't entirely sure how much her sister knew, or what she knew. It was better for Lyanna to hear it straight from her, though. At least that was what Thea thought. “I want to go to the Empire. With Vridel. He..." she paused there to glance at her sister.
Lyanna was regarding her with a strange, almost wistful look on her face, one that softened her eyes and made her look somehow much older than she usually did. She drew up a leg, crossing it over her other one and smoothing the length of her skirt. “Vridel what?" she asked softly. There was no trace of upset or menace in it; just the same softness reflected on her face.
“Vridel asked me to marry him," Amalthea stated, keeping her sister's gaze as best as she could. “I want to go with him to Adrestia, and... and I want to marry him. You know I've never asked for or wanted anything in my life, before, but this," she stated, glancing down to the ring on her finger. She toyed with it before glancing towards Lyanna, and continued, “I want this, because I love him."
“I've... I've never really known what that was like until he came into my life. Not that I don't love you, but it's different with Vi. He... there's just something about him, something that at once keeps me calm and makes me feel like I can achieve my dreams. Our dreams. They're so much alike and... and I want to help him with those things just as he wants to help me."
For however long that would be.
Lyanna blinked, then did it again, pulling in a rather shaky breath and glancing to the side. Her hands clasped together in her lap, but Amalthea could see even so that there was a little tremble in them. “That feeling," she murmured softly, turning her eyes down to her hands. The fingers of her right all grasped the base of her fourth left for a moment, as if to twist a ring in the same spot Amalthea wore hers. “That feeling is one of the greatest gifts we can ever be given. Love is a gift in any form, but that kind..." She swallowed audibly.
“There's just something special about it."
When she looked back up at Amalthea's eyes, Lyanna's were bright with unshed tears. They didn't share an eye color—while Lyanna's were almost the same shade of green as her hair, her sister's were more of an amber color, despite their many other physical similarities. “Thea... if that's what you feel, I wouldn't dream of stopping you. The Archbishop won't like it, and I fear what she will do to prevent it. You must not tell her, or let her find out. Not under any circumstances, do you understand?"
Thea released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, and nodded her head. It was the only thing she could do because she, too, was fighting back tears. “I... I know, sister. She's... Lady Rhea hasn't been," she paused in her sentence to shake her head. “I won't tell her, and I won't let her find out. I don't... I don't want to lose him," she spoke softly, taking in a deep, shuddering breath. It was hard enough knowing that she was going to lose him, eventually. Sooner than she'd like to admit, but... she couldn't lose him like this. Not because Rhea didn't approve.
“And you're right... there is something special about it. It almost... it makes me feel like I can do anything, accomplish anything. I want to cherish it for as long as I can," because she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to do so, again. Once Vi... she pushed the thought from her mind. She'd deal with it when they came to it.
“Thank you, Lyanna. For everything." If it wasn't for her sister, Amalthea wasn't sure where she'd be right now. It was because of Lyanna that she'd been able to accomplish anything at all, but most of all, she was allowed to join the Blue Lion House and meet Vi.
Lyanna shook her head. “I can't help but feel I've been a poor guardian," she said softly, eyes falling again. “When I first brought you here, I was so scared. You were young, and your—our parents couldn't be there for us, and I had nowhere else to go. I never—I never imagined Rhea would—" She exhaled, long and weary. “Before I knew it, we were effectively prisoners. For the longest time I thought... if that was what it took to keep you safe, then I had no other choice."
Her brows furrowed. “But I see now that I was wrong. We never should have come here. I shouldn't have given up so soon. If I'd been just a little braver... you could have grown up free from all of this. It was never fair to you, and I'm so–I'm so sorry. I see now that you were strong enough all along. Stronger than I am, at least."
Thea swallowed thickly, blinking back tears and shaking her head. “You shouldn't be sorry, and you've been the best guardian I could have ever asked for. I don't... I don't blame you for anything that's happened to me. It... it's not your fault. And besides, if you hadn't brought me here... I would have never met Vi. I would have never made the wonderful friends I have, and... and I wouldn't be as happy as I am, now."
She was certain of all those things. If they had never come to the monastery, if she'd never experienced what she had... it might have made her a better person, but there was no changing the past. Thea was learning to embrace her future, one that was brighter than anything she'd endured.
“And we won't be prisoners for long. You can... I'm sure he'd be willing, but you can come with us. You can get away from Rhea, too, and... and I'd get to keep my family with me," Thea stated softly. She knew Vridel wouldn't object to it; she just wanted to keep her family close to her. She would need Lyanna more than ever, especially after...
“I still need you, too."
For a moment, Lyanna looked almost incredulous, lips slightly parted, a concerned expression flashing across her face before she murmured something under her breath, too low for Amalthea to hear. “I—I don't know, Thea. There's—" she swallowed thickly. “There's something I never told you. I've... I've felt like you do. A while ago now, but... but still. Rhea knows who he is, and if I left, I don't know if..."
She pulled in a deep breath. “I don't know if he'd still be safe."
Thea sucked in a deep breath, and felt her heart break. Her sister had loved someone too? But why would Rhea have anything to do with that? Why would it matter if they left? Why couldn't her sister leave and be happy?
“Lyanna," she began softly, releasing the breath she had, slowly, “is it because of our Crest?" She had a feeling that having a Major Crest of Cethleann was dangerous enough, but if that was the reason Rhea kept them prisoners... it didn't make sense to Amalthea. Why did it matter that they had that particular Crest? It shouldn't.
“You... deserve to be happy, too. She's not... it's not right of her to do this." It wasn't fair. Thea was beginning to think that, no matter how happy she was, it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that no one else could be happy, and that it wasn't going to last for very long.
“It's not," Lyanna agreed softly. “But... the Archbishop... she wasn't always like this." She shook her head. “Once, she cared about me. I know she did. But now I think—I think she sees people more as possessions than the beings they are. She forgets that there are other things that matter besides staying alive. Forgets that there are things worth risking for." She huffed, gently, and pursed her lips.
“Things like love. The real kind, that lets you bloom instead of trying to bury you beneath the ground where no one can see."
“I wonder why she changed so much," Thea spoke gently, and shook her head. She stood from her spot, though, and crossed over towards Lyanna. She settled into the spot next to her, and wrapped her arms around her sister as best as she could, and hugged her.
“It won't always be like this. One day... we'll all be able to just smile and be happy. One day, we'll all be able to be with those we love and... and we won't have it taken from us. It won't be torn or ripped away, and we'll just be able to be free. And I'm going to keep fighting for that, too. Untill all of us get to be with the ones we love, and we'll no longer be prisoners. I promise, Lyanna."
It would be a hard promise to keep, but Thea was going to fight every step of the way.
Lyanna's arms tightened around her, and she pressed a soft kiss to her hair. “I hope you're right, Thea. I really do." Her sister gave her a squeeze, then added: “and congratulations. Truly. I'm happy for you. Vridel is... a good man. A better one than I thought he was, at first."
Thea huffed a little at her sister's words. “You know, he gives that impression, but he's really not. I don't deserve him, but I'm glad I have him. He... he really does have a good heart, but like most of us, it's been hurt," she murmured softly. “And thank you, Lyanna. I love you very much. So much."
“I love you too. More than you know."
She didn't think it had anything to do with Lyanna. She loved her sister more than anything in the world, but she thought a lot of it had to do with Rhea's influence. Perhaps Rhea would try to stop her from leaving, however; Amalthea wasn't going to let her. She wanted this. Wanted to go with Vridel to the Empire and be his wife. Not because he was the imperial prince, not because she would become empress, and certainly not for his Crests. The thought still left a bitter taste in her mouth, and it took every ounce of control to keep herself from falling apart. She wasn't going to have a full life with him, but she was going to have his full life.
It wasn't fair.
Whether that was the next five years, or less, she wanted to share her life with his in any way possible. She wanted to make it the best years of his life so that when he finally passed... when it all came to an end, there would be no regrets on his part. Perhaps on hers, but she didn't want him to have any. She fought back the tears that threatened to fall, and took in a deep breath. She needed to remain calm for this. She couldn't go to Lyanna with tears in her eyes, and she didn't want her sister to worry. With that in mind, she steeled herself, and entered Lyanna's office.
“Lyanna, are you in?"
Her sister did seem to be present; however, she didn't immediately acknowledge Amalthea's entrance. In fact, her gaze seemed to be caught out the window, though her eyes were almost too distant even for that, as though she weren't seeing anything at all.
As Amalthea stepped in, though, she shook herself faintly, moving a hand as if to push her hair behind her ear but pausing in the middle of the motion and dropping her arm. She never seemed to like wearing it any way but loose, or at least partly so; come to think of it, Thea couldn't remember ever having seen much of her sister's ears or neck ever. Her hair was always covering it.
“Thea," she said quietly, something vaguely melancholic in her tone. “Come in; please close the door behind you."
Amalthea did as she was told, and closed the door gently behind her as she made her way towards Lyanna. She was a little worried about her sister. Not for what Thea planned to tell her, but because she'd never seen her sister look so... downcast. Once she was standing next to Lyanna, she furrowed her brows and regarded Lyanna with an even gaze.
“Is something bothering you, Lyanna?" she decided to ask, first. What she had to say could wait until she knew Lyanna was fine. Or at least mostly fine. She didn't want to add to her sister's burdens if that weren't the case.
Lyanna shook her head, smiling slightly. “I'm fine," she said, turning her eyes back out the window for a moment. There were people moving around below, of course, but nothing looked out of the ordinary. Some people walking between this building and the dining hall, a couple on a bench—ordinary sights at the monastery. “I was just... remembering something, is all. From a long time ago."
With a short sigh, she moved away from the window and settled in one of the armchairs in her seating area. “What did you need to see me about that couldn't wait until tonight, hm?" The question was asked with a little thread of amusement, as though she might have some kind of idea.
Amalthea was vaguely alarmed. Did her sister already know? “Oh, well," she began, taking a seat across from Lyanna. “I... well, after graduation," she continued, pursing her lips together for a moment. It shouldn't have been this hard to tell her sister about her plans. She'd rehearsed it to nigh perfection, and now it seemed like everything just flew out the window. Taking in a deep breath, she calmed her beating heart which was beating faster for some reason.
“I want... I want to leave the monastery after graduation," she stated as calmly as she could. Thea wasn't entirely sure how much her sister knew, or what she knew. It was better for Lyanna to hear it straight from her, though. At least that was what Thea thought. “I want to go to the Empire. With Vridel. He..." she paused there to glance at her sister.
Lyanna was regarding her with a strange, almost wistful look on her face, one that softened her eyes and made her look somehow much older than she usually did. She drew up a leg, crossing it over her other one and smoothing the length of her skirt. “Vridel what?" she asked softly. There was no trace of upset or menace in it; just the same softness reflected on her face.
“Vridel asked me to marry him," Amalthea stated, keeping her sister's gaze as best as she could. “I want to go with him to Adrestia, and... and I want to marry him. You know I've never asked for or wanted anything in my life, before, but this," she stated, glancing down to the ring on her finger. She toyed with it before glancing towards Lyanna, and continued, “I want this, because I love him."
“I've... I've never really known what that was like until he came into my life. Not that I don't love you, but it's different with Vi. He... there's just something about him, something that at once keeps me calm and makes me feel like I can achieve my dreams. Our dreams. They're so much alike and... and I want to help him with those things just as he wants to help me."
For however long that would be.
Lyanna blinked, then did it again, pulling in a rather shaky breath and glancing to the side. Her hands clasped together in her lap, but Amalthea could see even so that there was a little tremble in them. “That feeling," she murmured softly, turning her eyes down to her hands. The fingers of her right all grasped the base of her fourth left for a moment, as if to twist a ring in the same spot Amalthea wore hers. “That feeling is one of the greatest gifts we can ever be given. Love is a gift in any form, but that kind..." She swallowed audibly.
“There's just something special about it."
When she looked back up at Amalthea's eyes, Lyanna's were bright with unshed tears. They didn't share an eye color—while Lyanna's were almost the same shade of green as her hair, her sister's were more of an amber color, despite their many other physical similarities. “Thea... if that's what you feel, I wouldn't dream of stopping you. The Archbishop won't like it, and I fear what she will do to prevent it. You must not tell her, or let her find out. Not under any circumstances, do you understand?"
Thea released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, and nodded her head. It was the only thing she could do because she, too, was fighting back tears. “I... I know, sister. She's... Lady Rhea hasn't been," she paused in her sentence to shake her head. “I won't tell her, and I won't let her find out. I don't... I don't want to lose him," she spoke softly, taking in a deep, shuddering breath. It was hard enough knowing that she was going to lose him, eventually. Sooner than she'd like to admit, but... she couldn't lose him like this. Not because Rhea didn't approve.
“And you're right... there is something special about it. It almost... it makes me feel like I can do anything, accomplish anything. I want to cherish it for as long as I can," because she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to do so, again. Once Vi... she pushed the thought from her mind. She'd deal with it when they came to it.
“Thank you, Lyanna. For everything." If it wasn't for her sister, Amalthea wasn't sure where she'd be right now. It was because of Lyanna that she'd been able to accomplish anything at all, but most of all, she was allowed to join the Blue Lion House and meet Vi.
Lyanna shook her head. “I can't help but feel I've been a poor guardian," she said softly, eyes falling again. “When I first brought you here, I was so scared. You were young, and your—our parents couldn't be there for us, and I had nowhere else to go. I never—I never imagined Rhea would—" She exhaled, long and weary. “Before I knew it, we were effectively prisoners. For the longest time I thought... if that was what it took to keep you safe, then I had no other choice."
Her brows furrowed. “But I see now that I was wrong. We never should have come here. I shouldn't have given up so soon. If I'd been just a little braver... you could have grown up free from all of this. It was never fair to you, and I'm so–I'm so sorry. I see now that you were strong enough all along. Stronger than I am, at least."
Thea swallowed thickly, blinking back tears and shaking her head. “You shouldn't be sorry, and you've been the best guardian I could have ever asked for. I don't... I don't blame you for anything that's happened to me. It... it's not your fault. And besides, if you hadn't brought me here... I would have never met Vi. I would have never made the wonderful friends I have, and... and I wouldn't be as happy as I am, now."
She was certain of all those things. If they had never come to the monastery, if she'd never experienced what she had... it might have made her a better person, but there was no changing the past. Thea was learning to embrace her future, one that was brighter than anything she'd endured.
“And we won't be prisoners for long. You can... I'm sure he'd be willing, but you can come with us. You can get away from Rhea, too, and... and I'd get to keep my family with me," Thea stated softly. She knew Vridel wouldn't object to it; she just wanted to keep her family close to her. She would need Lyanna more than ever, especially after...
“I still need you, too."
For a moment, Lyanna looked almost incredulous, lips slightly parted, a concerned expression flashing across her face before she murmured something under her breath, too low for Amalthea to hear. “I—I don't know, Thea. There's—" she swallowed thickly. “There's something I never told you. I've... I've felt like you do. A while ago now, but... but still. Rhea knows who he is, and if I left, I don't know if..."
She pulled in a deep breath. “I don't know if he'd still be safe."
Thea sucked in a deep breath, and felt her heart break. Her sister had loved someone too? But why would Rhea have anything to do with that? Why would it matter if they left? Why couldn't her sister leave and be happy?
“Lyanna," she began softly, releasing the breath she had, slowly, “is it because of our Crest?" She had a feeling that having a Major Crest of Cethleann was dangerous enough, but if that was the reason Rhea kept them prisoners... it didn't make sense to Amalthea. Why did it matter that they had that particular Crest? It shouldn't.
“You... deserve to be happy, too. She's not... it's not right of her to do this." It wasn't fair. Thea was beginning to think that, no matter how happy she was, it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that no one else could be happy, and that it wasn't going to last for very long.
“It's not," Lyanna agreed softly. “But... the Archbishop... she wasn't always like this." She shook her head. “Once, she cared about me. I know she did. But now I think—I think she sees people more as possessions than the beings they are. She forgets that there are other things that matter besides staying alive. Forgets that there are things worth risking for." She huffed, gently, and pursed her lips.
“Things like love. The real kind, that lets you bloom instead of trying to bury you beneath the ground where no one can see."
“I wonder why she changed so much," Thea spoke gently, and shook her head. She stood from her spot, though, and crossed over towards Lyanna. She settled into the spot next to her, and wrapped her arms around her sister as best as she could, and hugged her.
“It won't always be like this. One day... we'll all be able to just smile and be happy. One day, we'll all be able to be with those we love and... and we won't have it taken from us. It won't be torn or ripped away, and we'll just be able to be free. And I'm going to keep fighting for that, too. Untill all of us get to be with the ones we love, and we'll no longer be prisoners. I promise, Lyanna."
It would be a hard promise to keep, but Thea was going to fight every step of the way.
Lyanna's arms tightened around her, and she pressed a soft kiss to her hair. “I hope you're right, Thea. I really do." Her sister gave her a squeeze, then added: “and congratulations. Truly. I'm happy for you. Vridel is... a good man. A better one than I thought he was, at first."
Thea huffed a little at her sister's words. “You know, he gives that impression, but he's really not. I don't deserve him, but I'm glad I have him. He... he really does have a good heart, but like most of us, it's been hurt," she murmured softly. “And thank you, Lyanna. I love you very much. So much."
“I love you too. More than you know."