Snippet #768201

Contrary to the common belief of anyone who wasn't an actual Denizen of the Labyrinth itself the chaos, so often associated with the Goblin City and the castle beyond it, was restricted to the busy goings on of managing life in the Underground. There were chickens to be slaughtered, kegs to be made for the purpose of storing beer and other foodstuffs, and laundry to be done. Goblins weren't exactly the cleanest creatures in the Underground but even the grimiest of the lot took an occasional monthly bath.

There were a lot of fallacies regarding the general nature of how a Goblin City was actually run. Like any other metropolis the goblin Denizens took pride in their various trades which consisted of, but weren't limited to, metal and leather crafting, the manufacturing of spirits, and the tending of both chickens and hogs. There was also a deep sense of culture within the city; although in all fairness you often had to be either a goblin or a child to appreciate ballads about farting and epic stories depicting conquests over who was going to eat the last sweet roll. Believe it or no Goblin culture was chalk full of rich and undoubtedly colorful history, fashions, music and social oddities of all sorts. One just had to live there to know it.

Then of course there was the castle itself; a magnificent sight to behold and a social utopia in its own right. The castle, when not being magically manipulated for the sake of defense, was vast and kept largely in working order. Most of the goblins that resided within its walls where a little bit more refined then their other brethren, a little more articulate as well if not always all together intelligent.

At the center of it all was Jareth. The Goblin King.

Regardless of what anyone actually thought about his personality Jareth made for an effective and efficient ruler. That was his job after all; ruling over the goblins and by association the very labyrinth itself. Jareth took pride in his position as well as his vast responsibilities. Maintaining a working Labyrinth along with governing a kingdom wasn't as easy as it might have seemed. There was always some part of the vast maze under construction as the stone pathways often had to be repaired or refashioned due to natural ware and tear.

Since nearly a quarter of the Labyrinth was made up of hedges, small lawns, and gardens; Gnomes had to be regularly brought in to reshape and manicure the green areas as goblins by nature weren't really inclined towards gardening. It took a lot of work to maintain a place that, for all logical intents and purposes, most intelligent beings would never willingly step a foot into. But in a way...That was the greater beauty of it all.

Yet for all that Jareth had accomplishing he was still just one mortal man. Oh yes. Jareth was quite mortal indeed, despite the rumors that were scattered throughout the Underground claiming otherwise. If he was somewhat magically endowed due to the nature of his position, his illusionist abilities were secondary to the man who actually possessed them.

At current the Goblin King was out of house.

Flying no doubt as he always did in the early morning before the sun had yet to fully rise off the horizon line. While Jareth's crystals were effective when monitoring one thing at a time, they lacked the ability to present the greater picture that was the Labyrinth as a whole. For that Jareth was much keener to observing things for himself from the sky. There was also the escape his morning flights allowed. Jareth did not leave the confines of the Labyrinth often as his presence was often in such high demand. His morning flights was often the only chance the Goblin King got to have a moment to him self and even then his trips were often cut short by the demands of his people.

Speaking of demands the throne room of the castle was still caught in the relative repose of the early morning hour, with the exception of a clucking chicken or two, when a chubby goblin in uniform came nosily clamoring through the high doors that lead into the throne room.

"Your Majesty, your Majesty!" Between the alarming sound of clanking goblin armor and the somewhat guttural voice of the goblin wearing it, it only took about five seconds to rouse the entire room into a squawking frenzy.

The goblin in question seemed to have been unaware that his master was not in the castle. That problem seemed to shortly alleviate itself however as no sooner did the goblin guard sputter the second call did the borrowed form of the barn owl appear through the window instantly transforming into Jareth.

"What!" The Goblin King said in a snarl visibly annoyed that his morning outing had been predictably cut short.

The goblin in question barely had enough time to flinch before Jareth had practically materialized on top of him with his fist bunched at the goblin's tunic where the armor hung low upon his chest.

It was a common mistake to assume that all goblins were dim-witted and ill spoken. Granted there were quite a few who couldn't have told you their left hand from their right but there were just as many more who were quite capable of articulating themselves; particularly so if they made a habit of interrupting the Goblin King during the morning hours.

While obviously not one of the brightest bulbs around the goblin guard at current was at least intelligible enough to speak quickly in the face of his master's annoyance.

"Eh...It's the Arid Flats, Sir! Several of the Eastern hedge paths have been burned to a crisp. At first we thought it were due to the Wild Bunch cavorting about but the damage seems to suggest the hedges were intentionally doused in oil and set aflame. It's the work of Ariadne and her like no doubt."

Resisting the sudden urge to smack the helmet right off the poor goblin's head Jareth settled for giving him a single violent shake before releasing him to retire to his horned throne; the Goblin Kings's teeth gnashing all the way.

"Why didn't anyone catch it sooner?" Jareth asked sharply swiping up his ridding crop from the chair as he flicked the end impatiently against the side of one black boot.

"It was done in the middle of the night Sir and the oil caused the damage to be almost instantaneous. By the time it was brought to anyone's attention it was already too late. The fire had already burnt out..." The goblin whimpered slightly before randomly shrieking out a cry and launching himself to the floor near Jareth's feet. "Please, You're Majesty! Don't throw me in the Bog of Eternal Stench! Have mercy!"

"Get off!" Jareth hissed kicking lightly though sharply enough at the goblin's helmet to get him to stop groveling. "I will deal with this matter myself. Inform the dwarf of the damage and tell the Lawn Gnomes to get started on the repairs. I'll just have to seal off that part of the Labyrinth until the proper adjustments can be made. In the meantime I want double patrols on all the main routes and another set at all the check points. And this time, no mistakes!" Jareth barked.

The goblin was quick to respond as he nodded to his orders and fled from the room. Seeing their master was in a bad mood many of the other goblins dispersed as well leaving Jareth to contemplate his options in relative solitude.