"Every so often, we all gaze into the abyss. It's a depressing fact of life that eventually the clock expires; eventually the sand in the hourglass runs out. It's the leaving behind of everything that matters to us that hurts the most."
[ Courtesy Call | Nightcore ]
Dɪᴀʟᴏɢᴜᴇ Cᴏʟᴏʀ ✦ #FF0080 || Tʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ Cᴏʟᴏʀ ✧ #8A0808
[ Courtesy Call | Nightcore ]
Dɪᴀʟᴏɢᴜᴇ Cᴏʟᴏʀ ✦ #FF0080 || Tʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ Cᴏʟᴏʀ ✧ #8A0808
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- Atsuai Perri Miya
(At•Sue•Ay)
(Per•Ree)
(Me•Ya)
ＮＩＣＫＮＡＭＥ(Ｓ)
- Ms.Negative - Atsuai has acquired this nickname from those who knows her personality all to well. Atsuai has a very pessimistic point of view. Most of the time when she opens her mouth something negative and opposing flows out her mouth. This nickname stuck ever since.
ＣＵＲＳＥ
- Perpetually Depressed - The curse given to Atsuai effects her emotional state.Not like the others. To be perpetually depressed, this means you are miserable all the time. Nothing makes you happy and you don't enjoy life like others may. Your thoughts cloud your judgement and make you think everything in a negative way. This curse of hers has made it so that she's depressed all the time.There is no getting away from it for her. Atsuai manages to keep it controlled but sometimes, the river wants to take it's own path. The mark on her body resides around her belly button. They are simple curls that warp around her belly button and outwards.
ＧＥＮＤＥＲ
- Female
ＡＧＥ
- 17
ＳＥＸＵＡＬＩＴＹ
- Heterosexual
ＮＡＴＩＯＮＡＬＩＴＹ
- 100% Japanese but does not speak the language.
"Maybe it's a little depressing to think that my vision of a perfect world is actually so messed up, but I think it means that I don't really understand what 'perfect' is."
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- 5'6
ＷＥＩＧＨＴ
- 124lbs
ＨＡＩＲ ＣＯＬＯＲ
- A hot pink, or sometimes a light shade of burgundy
ＥＹＥ ＣＯＬＯＲ
- Dark pink
ＳＫＩＮ ＴＯＮＥ
- Slightly pale
ＧＥＮＥＲＡＬ ＡＰＰＥＡＲＡＮＣＥ
- Atsuai doesn't have a slim build, but she isn't big either. At a height of '6 she doesn't stand out much. Except for her aura of sadness and loneliness. Her hair a hot pink and is short and stops at the base of her neck. No longer or she will cut it. Her eyes, almost the same color of her hair, is completley devoid of life. It doesn't have that 'spark of youth' that most people her age have. You will always see Atsuai in a hoodie and jeans. Sometimes sweat pants. She doesn't like constricting clothes so she doesn't wear it. There are rare occasions where she's in a shirt and shows more of her skin than before. She has very low confidence in her body and she finds it very uncomfortable if more skin is showed than needed.
"But human beings fall easily into despair, and from the very beginning we invented stories that enabled us to place our lives in a larger setting, that revealed an underlying pattern, and gave us a sense that, against all the depressing and chaotic evidence to the contrary, life had meaning and value."
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✦ Anti-Social ✧ Lazy ✦ Pessimistic ✧ Anxious ✦
Saying Atsuai is depressed is just a piece to the never ending puzzle that is her. Yea she's depressed but there is a lot more to it. Atsuai usually keeps to herself most of the time. Growing up she's always was by herself and at times when she was younger she would try to make friends but nowadays, Atsuai knows that keeping to herself is best. She's known for a long time that her existence is not needed at all. People have told her from time to time that they do not need her help and that they can take care of it on her own. So she's stopped asking and stopped intervening. Atsuai is horrible at conversation and can never keep eye contact. She gets nervous easily and stumbles over her words. After a second, she would flee from the person.
Atsuai has a very negative way of thinking. In her eyes there is something that is always wrong or could be better. You can say she sees the glass half empty. Atsuai believes that the world is flawed so she doesn't understand how some people can be so happy knowing that they live in a world of false hope and security. Life in her eyes is just a never ending struggle to live to the next day. That is it. Atsuai is never truly happy. Yea there are things that she likes but it only satisfies her to a certain degree. It's been a long time since something had put a smile on her face. If something truly magnificent were to happen to her, she would believe that it was pure luck.
Atsuai admits that she hates doing work. She doesn't like to do physical or mental things. So sports and academic activities are always a no no for her. She would rather stay under her sheets and sulk for the rest of her days. She knows that she's useless so she doesn't see the point of her going out and doing anything. No one needs her for anything. Thus forth this has created her lazy habit. Atsuai doesn't lift a finger for anyone anymore. It's just something she's not willing to do anymore.
Saying Atsuai is depressed is just a piece to the never ending puzzle that is her. Yea she's depressed but there is a lot more to it. Atsuai usually keeps to herself most of the time. Growing up she's always was by herself and at times when she was younger she would try to make friends but nowadays, Atsuai knows that keeping to herself is best. She's known for a long time that her existence is not needed at all. People have told her from time to time that they do not need her help and that they can take care of it on her own. So she's stopped asking and stopped intervening. Atsuai is horrible at conversation and can never keep eye contact. She gets nervous easily and stumbles over her words. After a second, she would flee from the person.
Atsuai has a very negative way of thinking. In her eyes there is something that is always wrong or could be better. You can say she sees the glass half empty. Atsuai believes that the world is flawed so she doesn't understand how some people can be so happy knowing that they live in a world of false hope and security. Life in her eyes is just a never ending struggle to live to the next day. That is it. Atsuai is never truly happy. Yea there are things that she likes but it only satisfies her to a certain degree. It's been a long time since something had put a smile on her face. If something truly magnificent were to happen to her, she would believe that it was pure luck.
Atsuai admits that she hates doing work. She doesn't like to do physical or mental things. So sports and academic activities are always a no no for her. She would rather stay under her sheets and sulk for the rest of her days. She knows that she's useless so she doesn't see the point of her going out and doing anything. No one needs her for anything. Thus forth this has created her lazy habit. Atsuai doesn't lift a finger for anyone anymore. It's just something she's not willing to do anymore.
- ✦Food - There are times when Atsuai's nerves are on edge she find the quickest edible object to nibble on to distract herself and calm herself from something major that is going on.
✧Music - This usually means wearing her headphones/ear buds. This is something she will always have on her person. It's a utensil she uses to cancel out the world and all their judgement and hate.
✦Hoodies - Atsuai dislikes being noticed by people so she does her best to cover up. A big jacket and the hood up slipping in and out of crowds smoothly to get to where she needs to go. No interruptions.
✧Cold Weather - It numbs her body to a certain degree to wear she likes it. It's an unusual thing but it makes her feel a little bit better about herself and the world.
✦Short hair - Atsuai doesn't like to do work and so she cut her hair. It's less of a hassle for her and she won't have to take out knot after knot. Just slip her hands through her hair and go.
- ✦Preppy People - Atsuai finds people like them annoying. There is nothing good about the world so therefore there is nothing to be happy about. Everything and everyone has a flaw.
✧Darkness - Atsuai doesn't feel comfortable not seeing anything and it just darkens her mood and makes her worse than usual.
✦Warm Weather - It is nice to have warm weather but then it becomes a necessity to wear more skin revealing clothes and less longer and heavier clothing.
✧Talking - Atsuai thinks that anything that she says would be of no help to anyone or anything. So sometimes she doesn't speak but she isn't mute. People have heard her speak countless times.
✦Crowds - There are way too many people and the more people there are, the more people might want to start a conversation with her.
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- ✦Running - There are times where Atsuai has been chased after by people who wanted to mess with her. So she learned how to control her breathing while she ran and became a talent after a while.
✧Singing - I know singing and talking are kinda the same but Atsuai fins them completely different. She can express herself more when she's vocalizing or harmonizing a tune.
✦Guitar - A gift from her mother, she has treasure it and finally learned how to play it, she's pretty good at it
✧Cooking - Her father doesn't do much house cooking so Atsaui managed to learn after a lot of failed attempts. Can't eat take-out forever.
ＦＬＡＷＳ
- ✦Pessimestic - Atsuai never see's the bright side of things, so whenever she speaks it's about how something is going to go wrong, or fail miserably, etc.
✧Useless - She's not strong so she can't help with lifting and other stuff. And she forgets things now and then so she can't be given a task without getting distracted. Most people are wary to rely on her for anything.
✦Slow - Atsuai admits that it takes a while for her to catch onto things. Like if a friend would stab her in the back, she wouldn't even realize it until everyone knew and someone told her.
✧Loses things - She can't remember where she puts stuff most of the time so the next minute they end up 'lost' or 'stolen'. She's always sure someone took it until she finds it.
ＦＥＡＲＳ
- ✦Darkness - Atsuai can literally feel her mind shifting and slipping further and further into depression. She hates it so she manages to keep a light somewhere near her at all times.
✧Blood - She can't stand the sight of it nor the smell, the color,basically anything. Every time she see's it, she either A)Screams B)Vomits C) Faints or D) All of the above in that order.
✦Being Lost - Although she loses things quite often, she herself doesn't like to be lost. She wants to know where she is so she can get back to where she needs to be ASAP if need be.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will only cause permanent psychological damage." "
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- Dad || Zane Miya || 43 || Alive
Mother || Brendi Miya || 40 || Deceased
Daughter #1 || Atsuai Miya || 17 || Alive
Daughter #2 || Kami Miya || 14 || Alive
ＢＩＯ
- The one who Atsuai inherited the curse from was no other than her mother Brendi. Just like how Atsuai is now, her mother had to deal with the curse. Bredni thought her life wouldn't get any better but she was wrong. A man had fell in love with her and his name is Zane. Atsuai remembers when her mom told her how she still couldn't believe that her life turned out so well. Brendi and Zane got married and had their first child who was Atsuai. She inherited the curse of her mother though it wasn't at it's peak at first. As a child Atsuai was a little but more energetic and had more positive thought about the world. She wasn't glum all the time and she did have times where she smiled and showed other expressions other than sadness. Her mother had her next child Kami who is Atsuai's exact opposite.
Growing up it seemed like Atsuai found things less exciting and never really cared for anything. It was when she was 12 when her mother told her what was happening to her and the generational curse. Atsuai at first didn't understand and was convinced for a long time that it was just puberty. But reality hit her hard and the mark around her stomach was just a grave reminder that she was a victim of a scandal that happened many years ago. I guess you can say that triggered her depression but it more of set it aflame. As a way to cope with it, her mother got her a guitar that she could learn to play. Atsuai was a loner. She couldn't make friends to save her life and she stopped trying. Atsuai has become completely content with staying home and not doing anything. Thus her sister, being the curious one that she is, always asks questions and wants to play,etc. Atsuai sometimes was forced to hang with her sister but sometimes she wasn't. Atsuai doesn't really intereact with her family much. The same goes for her mother.
For some reason ever since Atsuai's mom told her about the curse, she has gotten worse. When she comes home from she doesn't greet anyone. Nor does she doesn't cook anymore. All she does is head straight to her and dad's room and she's there for the rest of the day. Atsuai's dad has been trying to help her but it's no use. The house was never the same when Brendi was found dead in her car which was turned over in the side of a road. Atsuai was 15 when it happened. No one knows if she intended to flip the car and kill herself on purpose or if it was an accident. All they know is that she was dead. Many times does the family go to her grave and just stand there in silence until Kami starts to cry and their father consoles her. This is when Atsuai started her singing. It was a way to distract her thoughts from her mother. It went from a hum to a low breath. Until one day when she believed the house was empty, she started singing with all the strength that she could muster. Her father walked in on her and she was crying while finishing her last note. Atsuai always wondered if life is going to turn out the same way for her like it did for her mother. She brought this to her father's attention and he has been telling her time from time that she was different. Even 'till this day Atsuai doesn't believe him for one second.
ＯＴＨＥＲ
- Fᴀᴄᴇ Cʟᴀɪᴍ ✦ Masami Iwasawa
Pᴏʀᴛʀᴀʏᴇᴅ Bʏ ✧ Purpl3_Flam3s
ⒸⓄⓅⓎⓇⒾⒼⒽⓉ ⓌⒶⓇⓃⒾⓃⒼ
character basic form © aurei
modified form ઽ૮૨Α
edited, modified form Luna Delta; ઽ૮૨Α