It was silent for a long time and after last night, Tansy expected he would take her advice and leave. She was beyond hard to love and she wasnât even sure why he was still laying there with her. Sheâd honestly never doubted Donnieâs love for her, he had to love her, no one else put up with as much as he did. However, she could tell her indecisiveness between him and Collin was killing him, she could see it all over his face and in his body language. More than anything, she hated that it was her causing him that much pain. She almost wanted him to walk away, because it was killing her that she was killing him, but she was too far gone to save and everyone knew it.
He sighed and she prepared to roll back over and let him walk away only he didnât, he reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, but she still couldnât bring herself to look up, because she was terrified sheâd start crying again. His touch was soft, making her shiver because she couldnât remember the last time anyone had actually touched her gently or like they actually cared. His fingertips running over the bruise on her cheek from him, his thumb running over her swollen lip. He hadnât said a word, but she could tell just how bad felt for what heâd done to her, despite the fact she was convinced she deserved it.
"I'll never be okay without you Tansy." he breathed and she finally brought her eyes up to meet his and she had to force herself to hold his gaze.
"I need you more than anything.â he shrugged like it was natural for him to need her that much, despite all the bullshit sheâd put him through. He ran his hand down her face, placing it on the back of her neck making her shiver again and she wasnât sure anyone, even Kaleb of Candie, had ever seen her as defenseless as she was in that moment. He pulled her close resting his forehead against hers and she held his gaze.
"It's okay that you're fucked up babe, we all are. Honestly, I wouldn't want you any other way. " he smiled and she sighed knowing he was right.
She was honestly about to push him away, not because she wanted to but because the fact that he was laying there with her, practically telling her that no matter what she did to him, heâd still love her. He deserved so much better, everyone including Tansy knew that, but somehow Donnie didnât think so. But, before she had the chance to push him away, for
his own good, he tilted her head back and kissed her softly in one swift motion. His kiss was incredible. There were a million love youâs, a million I canât live without youâs. Sheâd never felt the way she felt with anyone else when he was kissing her. It was like time stopped and for the moment Kaleb was alive again and her mom hadnât left, her and Candie were still the best of friends. He pulled their bodies tighter against each other and kissed her deeper causing her to moan against his lips, because it felt so good to be kissed like she meant something so someone.
"I love you." he breathed against her lips and she sighed pulling away for the moment and laying back on her back, staring up at the ceiling. It was silent for a long time and she knew he was probably thinking heâd done something wrong, however she was just trying to sort things in her fucked up head.
âI love you too Tae, thatâs what makes it that much more fucked up, because I need you.â She breathed honestly. âYour all I think about, when Iâm fucking Collin, itâs you I want to be with.â She bit her lip. âLoving you scares the shit out of me and thatâs why I keep running.â She whispered, like she didnât want to tell him. âBut, now thereâs Lauren and Collin and Kalebâs not around anymore to keep Collin from hurting either of usâŠâ trailed of swallowing back tears. âEverything is fucked.â She breathed clenching her jaw.
The silence between them was killing him. He didnât want to lose her, heâd let her go once and he wasnât sure he could do it again.
"You can't leave Lea alone if she's pregnant. she finally breathed and he was surprised when she laid down next to him, resting her head against his shoulder and he moved carefully to wrap his arm around her.
"I love you Reed and I can't live without you again." she continued as she kissed his jaw, making him close his eyes.
"So we're going to make this work. If she's not pregnant, then it'll make things easy, but if she is, you shouldn't just abandon her. If she's got nowhere to stay, she can take my place and I'll come back with you, but if she wants to have the baby, she shouldn't have to do it alone."He listened to her, relieved that she wasnât going to leave and that he had her back. He hoped Lea wasnât pregnant. Sure he felt like shit, because she was a sweet girl and she was always taking care of him, but aside from the sex there was nothing keeping them together and they both knew it was true, unlike Lea, Lux hadnât developed those kind of feelings for her. Candie was the only person heâd ever really loved and it killed him when they werenât together.
"Still, if she's pregnant and wants the baby, it's your choice I guess. If you want to walk away, you can." She said pulling him from his thoughts.
"I just want you to know that, if you decide to go through with it and be a father, we'll make it work." she finally said.
Reed wasnât exactly ready to be a dad, but that didnât change the fact that if Lea was pregnant, heâd make a damn good dad. However, if Lea wasnât pregnant, he swore he was going to take Candie somewhere else away from the past that clearly jaded their relationship. At least they could start new somewhere else, where Kaleb and Demetri werenât breathing down her back and making her feel like shit till they got her out of her clothes.
âListen babe.â He finally breath, grabbing her chin gently and turning her to face him, he held her eyes. âWorst case scenario, she has the baby. I still wouldnât leave you.â He breathed. âYouâre the only reason I try Candie, I love you and were going to making it work.â He said before pressing his lips to hers and kissing her deeply.
The kiss was different than other kisses, because it wasnât rough or drug laced. It was real and passionate. Meant to tell her how much he loved her and how she was the only thing keeping him alive all in the same kiss. He slid his hand into her hair, holding her gently in the kiss. His lips left hers and trailed along her jawline before he pulled away and held her eyes.
âBut youâve gotta stop running from us baby. Iâm not going to let you down like everyone else.â He breathed, sincerity in his eyes as he held hers. âI just want you to come back home.â He smirked leaning in and kissing her forehead.
RPG
