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━
When you set your fancies free,
Will they pass to where—by death, fools think, imprisoned—
Low he lies who once so loved you, whom you loved so,
—Pity me?
Oh to love so, be so loved, yet so mistaken!
What had I on earth to do
With the slothful, with the mawkish, the unmanly?
Like the aimless, helpless, hopeless, did I drivel
—Being—who?
LEVIR GAEGE
queen's guard / 65 / caelestis / lavan
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I. . . . . ..
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II. . . . . .
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III. . . . .
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☐ │silence, sharp objects
☐ │ the full moon, dusk
☐ │ thick foliage, wildlife
☐ │ exhaustion, ruins
x
x
☐ │ dry weather, heat, anger
☐ │ moral dilemmas, promises
☐ │ gardens, meetings, air ships
☐ │ ghost stories, riddles, markets
no whisper mars the utter silence of the untranslated stars
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"I want to wake up with my
heart not aching like death,
but I am always falling
in to terror."
moral alignment: lawful-neutral
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Here is what they are blind to: he has a heart beating heavy inside his chest. By his count, though, it's never good to let people know that. People know you have a heart, all of a sudden they have a target, they know where to aim. He doesn't care about much, finds what was once rich in liveliness somewhat devoid of meaning. But then again, things change, as they are apt to do. Example: his laughter didn't use to sound so empty. Example: his free time used to amount to more than another night in the bars, gaze fixed on counting the grain of the wood. Example: he used to be able to stomach seeing the citizens, seeing his family. Things change.
This is the answer: neither. The knight who swings a little too hard in training and the knight who drinks a little too much and laughs a little too loud at gatherings are one in the same. Some call his behavior questionable— those dedicated far too much to the traditions of the past, the established stations of those in rule and those not. His father, after all, never used to walk alongside the Queen, laughing at whatever he'd said that made her scowl. They glare at him from down the long hallways when he smiles amicably, muttering under their breath about how he's far too friendly with Her Highness, too close, too used to the freedom of when they younger. Others seem to be of the opinion that the closer the two are, the more willing he'll be to sacrifice everything down to his last heartbeat for her. Neither are right, but that's none of their business anyway. (And if he's willing to die, it has nothing to do with love.)
There is laughter in his throat and a beating heart in his chest, but this is misleading. It is not whole. It is cracked and splintered—shards digging into his lungs and dust bleeding into his veins. He is not what he once thought he would be, not what he should be, but then neither is she. She declared his words empty once, and so they remain; she is his Queen after all, and what she decrees is law.
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I. . . . . .
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II. . . . .
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III.
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x
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with patience
They were children, and he was naive, blind to the wretched workings of politics. Like a drum, his flimsy morality thrummed inside him, the feeble idealism of a belief in a monarchy that worked for the people.
He could not help the pride in his eyes, when she took her place on the throne and he took his behind her, like the faithful mutt he was meant to be.He was behind her when she held the crown, behind her when she placed it on her head, behind her when she spoke the words that changed everything, when he heard his stomach drop and his heart break. He stands behind her still. The glint of pride is gone.
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Sided with the queen
I. . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ATTRACTION - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
II. . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ROMANTIC - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
III. . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ROMANTIC - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
IV. . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ROMANTIC - -█ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
V. . . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ROMANTIC - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
VI. . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ATTRACTION - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
VII. . ..
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ROMANTIC - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
VIII. . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ROMANTIC - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
IX. . . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ROMANTIC - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
X. . . . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ATTRACTION - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
XI. . . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ROMANTIC - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
XII. . . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ROMANTIC - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
XIII. . . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ATTRACTION - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
XIV. . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ATTRACTION - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
XV. . . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ROMANTIC - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -
XVI. . . . .
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█ █ █ █ █ RESPECT - -█ █ █ █ █ FRIENDSHIP - -█ █ █ █ █ DISCOMFORT - -█ █ █ █ █ HATRED
█ █ █ █ █ ROMANTIC - █ █ █ █ █ TERROR - -