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Outcasters AU: Atonement {Reboot}.
- 111 posts here • Page 2 of 5 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
S I M O N__D A V E N P O R T
Suddenly she was doubling over and in a great amount of pain. "Ugh, you held me when- ugh!" she persisted, trying to get her words out despite whatever pain she was experiencing. Simon was frozen in place, merely watching her. He didn't attempt to step forward, almost as if making contact with her would cause her to disappear into a cloud of smoke. All the while her words hit him like a ton of bricks. His features twisted in a sneer, as he thought about what kind of evil creature would play such a trick on him, playing with his mind like this.
"Sashi stop! We'll figure it out, just stop, you're hurting yourself!" called his daughter's voice. "I want to remember, I know him!" Sashi responded, before making eye contact with him once more. Simon watched her fall to her knees and still didn't move. Sunday cried something out, by this point Simon wasn't paying any mind to anyone else. It wasn't until she fell unconscious that he turned his head to look at his daughter, while she questioned Alice. His eyes found Sashi again and he released a deep exhale.
"She dreams of Grandfather now, she always dreams of Grandfather, like you dream of Daddy. Only she just doesn't it know, his face is all blurry," Alice explained. Sunday seemed to react in some small way and it only took Simon a second to realise why; she still dreamt of Alec. She must've thought he would think badly of that, but he didn't, not really. He despised the boy with every fibre of his being, but Sunday had loved him once, even had a child with him. It wasn't strange for him to still appear in her dreams. Hell, he even dreamed of Tanya every once in a while. And so, after discarding that small piece of information, lest his daughter feel all the more awkward, Simon instead focused on what Alice was telling them. Only Rahmiel shifted uncomfortably.
"You can wake her up, Grandfather, I'll keep the bees quiet," Alice began again. Simon watched as she took the unfamiliar man's hand and thought it a little strange, naturally, but Sunday said not a word so it was certainly not his place to comment. Simon was still furious, but by this point he was far too tired to protest, and so he merely nodded. "Thank you, Alice," he said, his tone far more gentle than his expression. He appreciated her help, of course, but there was always something unsettling about that child he couldn't quite put his finger on. After that he made brief eye contact with the man whose hand she held so comfortably, and quickly turned his attention back to Sashi, who was still slumped over on the ground.
Part of him didn't want to go near here, perhaps because he didn't want to believe she was real, but he fought every instinct in his body that told him to walk away from them all. Instead he stepped closer, dropping to his knees and working his arms under her to hoist her up. When he was standing again, he turned to Sunday, and also gave her a nod. "I'll... She can stay in my tent until she wakes up," he told her, his voice quieter than normal. "I'm trusting you to be able to handle things here while I try to wake her..." Simon would have placed a hand on her shoulder, had he a hand to spare, so after a small pause he just walked in the direction of his tent.
Once inside, he gave an exasperated huff, and shook his head at the situation he'd been forced into. At the furthest corner of the room there was a small pile of pelts and bedding; he didn't get the opportunity to sleep often so it was seldom used, but it would be comfortable enough for an unconscious woman, he reckoned. He set her down as gently as he could, despite the circumstances, and remained on his knees beside her even as she slumped once again. At this point he really didn't have any choice but to believe that she was real. After everything he'd learned since he first saw her, things were starting to piece together. He couldn't enjoy the moment, however, and instead of feeling happy he only felt sorry. She'd been alive this entire time... on her own. And he hadn't known a thing.
Before Simon could even stop himself, he was reaching for her, brushing some hair off her face while his eyes tracing her features. I should wake her, he thought with a nod. He didn't quite know what he would say when he did, but the fact remained. "Sashi?" he called quietly, his hand moving to her shoulder. After receiving no response, he sighed, and began to shake her by the shoulder. "Sashi," he called again, a little rougher this time. After a second, he simply sat back, looking at her like she was a puzzle he didn't quite know how to solve. Short of slapping her around the face, how was he supposed to wake her? Before long his gaze dropped to his hands and another sigh filled the silence.
"I'm sorry..."
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They were always the same three dreams. One where they were walking together, the other, watching him as he fiddled with something. Breakfast? She could smell cooking food but she couldn't see it, and the one that happened the most was the one she watched now. He was holding her, looking over her, cradling her against him. The entire place was red but he shone against it. Like he had a light coming from his body. She was saying something to him, but then the dream stopped, she died.
How? Why? When?
She knew nothing but these vague images. It was only recently that she got this much.
Linto appeared beside her, an ethereal hand on her shoulder. She couldn't see him, he, like all the others, weren't physical beings, their presence, though, was palpable. "Why wouldn't you let me remember?" She asked him, not looking at him. "It's not me," He told her and Sashi turned to him, a formless black mass, a dark glare in her eyes. "You know what I mean."
"The Loa don't want to give you up, so rare a vessel you are. You've been able to hold us all."
"You possessed me."
"You allowed it,"
"I didn't want to die!" She shouted at him and then turned. "It was a trick, you tricked me." She said and Linto sighed. "Nibo...Yes, such is his way."
"He used me."
"Uses you still."
"Stop him."
"He's stronger than the rest of us, you know this."
"He keeps me from remembering. He makes it hurt."
"Yes, but he's quiet now, thanks to the little one."
Sashi looked at him again. Right, Alice. She shut him up.
"I would stick by her if I were you."
"You are me..."
Linto laughed. "Wait...How are you speaking to me now?"
"I wasn't the one holding you back, I've been guiding you, I lead you to the girl and now the rest is up to you."
"You know what's going to happen, don't you?"
"Of course I do, but that's not for me to tell you. I can only give you hints."
Sashi shook her head. "Nothing is ever simple with the Loa, is it?"
"Not even a little."
"Can you tell me one thing?"
Linto considered this. "Yes."
"What's his name?"
"You won't remember when you wake up."
"Anything is better than nothing...He loves me...I could see it in his eyes."
Linto considered this too. "His name is..."
"Simon...."
Sashi's eyes opened, and she gasped for air. She didn't know why but she knew she had been inspirited again but everything was quiet. She started to sit up but she noticed she was not alone. IT was him again.
"Oh..." She bit her lip. If she could only remember her dreams, this was him but she had no context, no clues as to who exactly he was. He was looking over her, much like the dream only she wasn't in her arms. She wanted to be. Was that weird? Yes, yes, it was weird, she knew that. This all was seven different kinds of weird.
"Sorry." She said softly. "I'm...This is..all very strange." She said and sat up slowly. Taking a quick look around. They were in a large tent, and she was laying on a soft pallet. Her head ached but her mind was her own for the time being. Her head only ached when she was inspirited. She looked at him. "This is probably going to add to my strangeness but...Did I say something just now, I mean before I woke up?" She asked, trying not to make it sound as awkward as it felt to ask. They were in a world of demons and faeries and creepy cute kids with mental powers. He had to have some modicum of experience with strange. "I'm possessed so I do things sometimes but, it's not really me...I'm me now, though...That was weird, as that weird, yeah, no, wow, that was a really weird thing to say, I'm sorry, you don’t have to answer any of those things and I'm gonna stop talking now." She nodded before snapping her mouth shut.
S I M O N__D A V E N P O R T
Suddenly there was a loud gasp, and as Simon looked up he saw that she was in fact waking up. He leaned forward a little, one arm outstretched but merely hovering over her, hesitating to make contact. Before long she was starting to sit up, so he sat back again, his startled expression not shifting for a good while. "Oh..." she spoke, causing Simon to tilt his head to one side, his hands now in his lap. There was a short moment of silence where Simon sifted through his thoughts, trying to find something to say.
"Sorry..." she began again, catching his attention. "I'm... This is... all very strange." Without thinking he released an amused huff, and nodded as if nothing could be truer than that. "This is probably going to add to my strangeness but... Did I say something just now, I mean before I woke up?" she asked him, to which he initially responded with a frown. He shrugged his shoulders a little, but before he could find the words to say, she was speaking again. His eyes were trained on the ground. "I'm possessed so I do things sometimes but, it's not really me... I'm me now, though... That was weird, was that weird, yeah, no, wow, that was a really weird thing to say, I'm sorry, you don't have to answer any of those things and I'm gonna stop talking now." And just like that she fell quiet again.
Before he could even stop himself, a smile pulled at the corners of his lips. "You haven't changed a bit," he joked with a quiet laugh, before looking up at her once more. His eyes were moist, as if tears might fall at any moment, despite the humour in his tone. More than anything else, even if she didn't remember him, he was just glad to have her back. He was also glad that after everything that had happened, she was still herself in some small ways.
"But no, not really," he continued after a moment. "Well, I mean, you said my name... But that's about it, really." With a casual shrug, he shifted a bit so that he was sitting properly and not on his knees, still peering at her. There was so much he wanted to ask, so many questioned he needed answers to, but it had already been made apparent that she remembered nothing of their past together. He sighed quietly. "Look... I know this is a really confusing situation, and admittedly it's not much clearer on my end... But I'll say this. If you have any questions at all, if there's anything you feel you need to know, feel free to ask and I'll answer them honestly," he offered. "But in return, I would appreciate it if you could tell me more about what's going on inside that head of yours... Maybe then I can figure out a way to help you."
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It took her but a moment. Linto. He was kind, the only kind one, but he was cryptic. "Look... I know this is a really confusing situation, and admittedly it's not much clearer on my end... But I'll say this. If you have any questions at all, if there's anything you feel you need to know, feel free to ask and I'll answer them honestly," He said and she watched his face. "But in return, I would appreciate it if you could tell me more about what's going on inside that head of yours... Maybe then I can figure out a way to help you." He said and Sashi smiled softly. "Okay." She said softly before taking a breath. Every time she tried to remember on her own, the pain came. "I have a lot of questions...but I guess, I'll go first, um." She stopped and thought. "They are called the Ghede- Loa, the bees the baby was talking about." She smiled a little. "They are different kinds of Loa but mine, The Ghede, They are like spirits that exist outside of the realm of the living, so when the world changed, they weren't affected because they belong to the land of the dead." She said and swallowed "I've been possessed by them...all of them...according to them, as I was dying, or rather when I died and I was passing through their world, one of them, called Ghede Nibo asked me if I wanted to die, apparently I told him, no, and a deal was made, I don't remember it, but obviously, I'm still honoring it, because they take over my body, they cal it 'in-spirited- but it's a full blown possession, like demons only less head turn-y." She said and then frowned. How did she know that? She shook her head and moved on. "It was a while before I had control of my body again, but I don't have my memories, not all of them anyway, I have a few, they're in my dreams but I can't..." She shook her leg, pursing her lips, trying to find the right words. "It's like having something no the tip of your tongue, like a word, or something, it's right there, you know it is but it just doesn't happen...I can't remember my dreams, and when I'm awake, if I try to remember, my stomach...it's like I'm being stabbed over and over again, and I can't remember....God, I feel like I say that a lot." She said rolling her eyes. She sighed. "Little stuff comes to me, though, one of the Ghede, Linto, he keeps them in a sort of check, I guess, or at least he looks out for me, He tries to feed me memories in my dreams, but when I wake up, they're gone." she said shaking her head before looking up at him
"I guess, he had me speak your name, He's nice but frustratingly cryptic" she said and shrugged before going quiet again, looking at her feet. she wanted to ask him so much, who was he? what is he to her? Who is she to him? How did she die? So much but all she had the courage to ask was...
"What is your name?'
S I M O N__D A V E N P O R T
"What is your name?" she asked after a moment's silence. He lifted his arm and used a gloved hand to brush his long hair back off his face, huffing as he did so. Of all the questions she could have asked, that was the first? Of course he couldn't say that to her. "My name is Simon... Simon Davenport," he answered, a little sooner than he expected. Shortly after he outstretched his other arm and placed that hand on her arm, as if trying to comfort her. "I'm sorry that happened to you... I had no idea," he explained. "We were... preparing you for your funeral. Sunday had her back turned for a minute and suddenly you were gone. Nobody knew where you'd gone, and I searched for you for so long... It was like you vanished into thin air." Simon looked down at the ground, as if merely recalling the memory was bringing back all the emotions he felt that day. The panic, the pain, but mostly the anger. He let his hand drop, and it very quickly returned to his lap. He paused a moment before even trying to continue.
"I suppose you might want an explanation of how you know me," he began again, glancing up at her. "We only knew each other for a short time. A few days, at most... You worked at the high school in our home town, as a counsellor of some sort. Sunday had just come into my life and I was trying to give her some semblance of a normal childhood, so enrolling her in a school seemed like a good idea. We met when I brought her in for the interview, and to be shown around," he began to explain, taking a breath. "Long story short, we both realised that she wouldn't do well in a school environment, so you offered to teach her at home. We ended up spending more time around each other... One thing led to another and I ended up taking you out on... I guess you could call it a date, but we wouldn't have called it such... That was until later that night, when we..." he stopped himself suddenly, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Y'know." At long last he finally looked up at her, trying to meet her gaze.
"Like I said, it was only a short time, but we fell for each other regardless," Simon continued after a moment, trying to move away from the awkwardness as quickly as possible. "But you see... There's one woman... Sunday's mother, in fact... Our families had a long history with one another. She's since made it her personal mission to make us all miserable. And as it would seem, I'm her favourite target, since she only bloody takes away what I love," he growled, before sighing and shaking his head. When he visibly calmed himself, he proceeded to tell the story. "She managed to get to you, somehow... She baited me to the Demon Realm, and murdered you right in front of me... Stabbed you multiple times in the stomach, with an iron blade so I couldn't heal you." After all that he took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry... I let you down that day. I wasn't fast enough to save you."
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Darkness took his thoughts before he went on. She began putting pieces of her memories, what little she ad together. There was a girl, That was Sunday, she knew now. his daughter which was hard to believe but in this world, that was probably the most explicable thing. Then he mentioned the date, and she smiled softly. She remembered the smells mostly, fried food, the water and she remembered the taste of something sweet and oddly enough, Linto? He then cleared his throat and she frowned a little confused until she figured it out and blushed red. They were a couple, and they'd gone there. Wow. That was amazing, one that she'd even managed a good looking guy like that, but to the point that they'd slept together. It made sense now that she knew what it felt like to be in his arms and why she craved it so badly now. There was another vague memory that came with that realization; the smell of bacon and eggs, breakfast. Did he make her breakfast because she was sure she couldn't cook? How did she know that?
He then continued on. "But you see... There's one woman... Sunday's mother, in fact... Our families had a long history with one another. She's since made it her personal mission to make us all miserable. And as it would seem, I'm her favourite target, since she only bloody takes away what I love," He said, his once soft expression souring and there was a growl in his tone. She swallowed, as he calmed himself. . "She managed to get to you, somehow... She baited me to the Demon Realm and murdered you right in front of me... Stabbed you multiple times in the stomach, with an iron blade so I couldn't heal you." He said and her eyes went wide before they felt to her stomach. Her hand moved to the gnarled scarring on her belly. She dare not look at it, it was still a nasty shade of blue, jagged even though it healed. She closed her eyes. That was the memory that stuck out the most and now she knew. She didn't die, she was killed.
Tears touched her eyes and they feel when she blinked.
"I'm sorry... I let you down that day. I wasn't fast enough to save you." He said and something struck her in those words. He blamed himself, he blamed himself stil, suddenly, words fell from her lips, familiar yet foreign, like her memories. Her eyes grew dazed as she spoke.
"This wasn't your fault...Okay? I don't blame you... you shouldn't either," These were her words but she wasn't saying them now, or rather, she had no control over what was ebing said. "That, woman. She...wow, she's a real bitch...this is her doing, not yours...It's okay, okay," she said and her mouth was her own again. Damn it, Linto, that wasn't fair to do to him. She looked at Simon, tears falling.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what I said, I never know what I saying, or doing, this isn't fair, to you, to Sunday, to me, this just--" suddenly she began to sob, dropping her face in her hands for the cruelty of it all. Why couldn't she have just stayed dead, then they could move or, mourned her lost and gone on with their lives instead of coming back with no memories for them to grieve all over again.
S I M O N__D A V E N P O R T
Those words had been seared into his memory since she'd first said them. Simon felt his stomach churn, his lips pursed and a heavy frown formed on his features. There was no way she could know what she was saying, she didn't even remember how she died, but still - without even realising it - he glared daggers at her.
"That woman. She... wow, she's a real bitch... this is her doing, not yours... It's okay, okay?"
Simon took a breath, and shook his head, looking away. He could feel her eyes on him, but he couldn't look at her then. He felt cold, yet his blood boiled at the same time.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what I said, I never know what I'm saying, or doing, this isn't fair, to you, to Sunday, to me, this just-" For whatever reason, she cut herself off, and replaced her words with sobs.
Simon couldn't move for the longest time. His mind was blank, he couldn't find the words to say anything, let alone something with any real meaning. The only thing that he could think of was the day he'd been trying hard to forget, and the image of Sashi dying in his arms, trying to reassure him that it wasn't his fault. But it was, it truly was.
Soon enough, after listening to her cry, sympathy replaced his anger, and he found himself moving forward before he could even stop himself. His arms wrapped around her, his cheek resting atop her head. It wasn't her fault, he knew, and despite the pain and anger he felt, he couldn't take that out on her now. She'd been through enough already, and if she really had no control over her own body, he sure as hell wouldn't going to blame her for that.
"Don't apologise, please," he told her, lifting one hand to smooth down her hair, while he leaned back enough to look at her, even if she didn't return the favour. "I'm not unreasonable, I know you have no control over yourself at times... It's not fair, but that's how it is," he continued in an attempt to comfort her. "I believe that it was my fault... Perhaps not what happened with the Loa, because that was far out of my control... But I let myself get close to you, knowing that you might get hurt. You were an innocent mortal, you knew nothing, and I dragged you into this world, into all my problems. You could try to tell me otherwise but that in itself is true." Simon shifted so that he could place a hand on each of her shoulders, lowering himself down just a bit.
"No matter how this happened... no matter how hard it's going to be, I will find a way to help you. We'll get those bastards out of your head, I promise," he told her. Despite his gentle expression, his voice was firm and held much confidence. He then leaned forward a bit, placing his forehead against hers. "And I do not break my promises."
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Don't apologise, please," He told her, smoothing down her hair some. He searched for her eyes a moment and she rose them to him, tears still streaking down her cheeks. "I'm not unreasonable, I know you have no control over yourself at times... It's not fair, but that's how it is," He said and she looked away before he spoke again. "I believe that it was my fault... Perhaps not what happened with the Loa, because that was far out of my control... But I let myself get close to you, knowing that you might get hurt. You were an innocent mortal, you knew nothing, and I dragged you into this world, into all my problems. You could try to tell me otherwise but that in itself is true." He said and she wanted to protest but he wasn't about to let it go and honestly, she was too tired to fight it. She just wanted to be held by him again. He placed a hand on either shoulder, gripping gently.
"No matter how this happened... no matter how hard it's going to be, I will find a way to help you. We'll get those bastards out of your head, I promise," He told her and she believed him, it seemed like a hopeless case but in that moment she believed him. He pressed his forehead to hers and she closed her eyes. "And I do not break my promises." He said and he opened her eyes, wanting so badly to lean up and press her lips to his. She could see why they were together, or at least why she would love him so much. The imagines flashed in her mind a moment and she looked up at him, with a small gasp but then smiled sadly. She remembered something. It was small but she remembered and it was her own doing. She looked up at him, somewhat surprised. "Breakfast." She stated, sad tears strolling down her face at the fading memory. "You made me breakfast, but we didn't get to eat together, so I saved you a plate." She said remembering but then in an instant, the vividness of the memory was gone. "Damn it...I almost kept it that time..." She moved so that her head rested on his shoulder,her arms going around his chest. She didn't want to think anymore she just wanted this.
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After her Father took Sashi elsewhere, Sunday took a breath. She turned to those that were left, Alice and Rahmiel, Asmos too if she felt the need to include him. She didn't. She was annoyed by him. She didn't trust him or his intentions and she had not heard what he and her father spoke about. Either way, she took Alice's hand and address them both. "Rahmiel, Asmos, there is food just there." She pointed to the tent where smoke plumed up from a small hole at the top, asking as a vent so not to suffocate those inside. "Eat as you wish, we have Fae here that provide us ith rations so need not worry on that." She said and looked down at her daughter, she kneeled down and looked at her, smoothing down her hair. "Are you hungry, love?"She asked and Alice shrugged. What is is, Alice?" She asked and Alice looked at Rahmiel. "I want him to take me." She said and Sunday looked between them. "Alice, darling, I know you are grateful, but let's not pester the man, hm? Surely, he needs a moment's peace? Sunday offered but she couldn't help be curious about the man and why Alice had been so taken with him. Was it possible the child had a small crush? He was handsome, she did have to admit but Alice was much too young for such thoughts? But then again, Sunday had fallen for Alec almost immediately when she saw him. She prayed Alice did not share her bleeding heart. "Please, Mommy?" Alice begged and Sunday could hardly say no to that little face. Sunday cupped her daughter's cheek and rose. "Forgive me, My daughter seems to prefer your company. She said to Rahmeil. "I should understand if you'd much rather dine alone." She said with an apologetic smile that did not reach her eyes. Alice, however, watched him closely, with a smile, almost as if she was trying to be cute to convince him to say yes. She wish him the best of luck.
A L E C__I R I S
Rahmiel felt eyes one him once more, and soon enough he caught Alice staring up at him. "I want him to take me," she stated, to which Rahmiel responded with an awkward glance at Sunday. "Alice, darling, I know you are grateful, but let's not pester the man, hm?" He cleared his throat a little, far too quietly to be of any notice. After one more plead from Alice, Sunday spoke again, now standing. He felt himself look away, if only for a moment, before she began speaking. "Forgive me, my daughter seems to prefer your company," she said. "I should understand if you'd much rather dine alone."
There was an almost painfully long moment of silence as Rahmiel stood under the weight of both Sunday and Alice's stares, both awaiting his answer. This was a very strange situation, mostly for him, and so instead of actually forming any kind of coherent sentence, he released a few mumbles which eventually faded into a silent pause. Suddenly he shook his head and frowned, not in response to their questions, but instead at his own inability to function as a grown man. In any other situation he would not be so awkward. This should be no different, regardless of the unanswered questions, and the company he found himself in. Releasing an exhale, his gaze returned to Sunday, having fallen to the floor for the longest time.
"Well, I mean... You don't need to say sorry, it's all good... She's a cute kid, y'know," he finally replied, his other hand scratching the back of his neck while he attempted a light-hearted smile. "I will admit, though, I'm not particularly hungry.. But I'll accompany you both while you eat, if that's what you'd like." He squeezed Alice's hand very lightly as he spoke, not breaking his gaze from Sunday. "If you father accepts me into your 'Rebellion', as it were, I suppose we'll be spending a fair bit of time as comrades... So it might be worth getting to know each other?" he offered, not exactly knowing how she'd respond. Regardless of the risk, he needed to create an opening, so that he might learn a bit more about how Alice even came to be... And whether or not she was truly his child.
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"Well, I mean..." Rahmeil began. You don't need to say sorry, it's all good... She's a cute kid, y'know," He said, rubbing the back of his neck, Sunday could only smile softly., while Alice beamed. "I will admit, though, I'm not particularly hungry... But I'll accompany you both while you eat, if that's what you'd like." He said while gripping Alice's hand softly. He seemed to have taken a liking to her too. As odd as it was, it was nice to see that Alice had someone she liked and vie versa, most of the childern here did know what to make of her. She was strange, much in a while that Sunday had been strange. Sunday smiled again and nodded. "If you father accepts me into your 'Rebellion', as it were, I suppose we'll be spending a fair bit of time as comrades... So it might be worth getting to know each other?
Despiterself, Sunday blushed. "Oh, yes th-that would be wise. She said, finding it hard to look at him wit the resness coveringh er cheks. Get it together, Sunday, now is not the time anor was that what he meant. she sclded herself for such a thought. Handomse yes, Alice liked him and he, her, yes, but she wasn't ready for such a thing nor did she have the time. They had a war to fight and win, and she had a mother to slay. The last thing she needed was something esle for her mother to take from her. If Sashi was any indication.
"This way, please." She said and started to walked ahead of Alice and Rahmeil but Alice took her hand as well, smiling at her. "Yes, Alice?" Sunday asked and Alice merely shook her hread and tugged them both forward. Sunday gave Rahmiel a bashful smile.Perhaps Alice was trying tto tell her something but the child was so very cypritic, Sunday could never be sure. She hoped it wasn't what it appaered to be and that Alice wanted Rahmiel for her. Sunday was hardly ready for that and knowing Alice, she'd try to force the issuse ifs ehe wanted it badly enough. Hell, she'd tried the same thing with her Father and Sashi. Sunday still blamed herself for that.
They arrived at the food tent and Alice turned to Rahmeil turne Sunday sighed. She really knew what she wanted, didnt she? "you've got yourself a shadow, this one." Sunday said, running her fingers through her dark hair as she began to pile fruit on a plate for Alice. "Anyway, You'd like to join our cause?" She asked him. "May I ask why?"
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"This way, please," she beckoned, and Rahmiel answered with a murmured 'of course', before following after her. He hadn't even noticed Alice and Sunday joining hands until he was being tugged forward, and Sunday was smiling up at him almost shyly. For the sake of being civil he returned it, but his smile was more amused than bashful.
Soon enough they'd arrived at the tent, and Rahmiel tried to stand back to allow them some room to collect their food, but Alice hadn't moved from his side the entire time. He couldn't help but smile at her, even as Sunday sighed. "You've got yourself a shadow, this one," she told him, and he nodded, looking back up at her. "I'm not complaining, believe me," he responded, placing a hand atop Alice's head to smooth down her hair for a moment before returning it to his side.
"Anyway, you'd like to join our cause?" she asked suddenly. Rahmiel's head tilted to one side. "May I ask why?"
The question caught him off guard, but he knew he should have been expecting it. He needed to figure out a way to word an answer that was honest, but wouldn't break his cover. Of course he couldn't just explain that he wanted to find out who Alice's father was, which was the main reason he was hanging around in the Rebellion camp, surrounded by people from his past. Clearing his throat, he began with a small smile.
"If I'm telling the truth, and it's not like I have any choice in the matter... I'm trying to make up for things I did in my past," he began. "The details of which I'll keep to myself, of course." Rahmiel did a quick glance around the room, before continuing. "I believe that my interests align with yours, in the sense that I just want to make this world a better place. It won't ever be as it was, but it doesn't have to be a living Hell." He was suddenly very aware of Alice's presence, but he tried not to shift his gaze from Sunday while he spoke to her. "This Rebellion will impact the world and its future in ways we cannot predict, but hopefully for the better. I'd like to be part of that, if... if you'd have me." He offered another smile, and thought for a moment about reaching out to offer his hand but quickly decided against it.
The thought made her a little colder but she ignored it, handed Alice her plate before adding fruit to her own and listened on. "I believe that my interests align with yours, in the sense that I just want to make this world a better place. It won't ever be as it was, but it doesn't have to be a living Hell." He said and Sunday looked at him her hand midway between the fruit tray and the tongs that she used to grab it. "This Rebellion will impact the world and its future in ways we cannot predict, but hopefully for the better. I'd like to be part of that, if... if you'd have me."he said and those words gave her chills. Cursing her fae nature and her overwhelming loneliness, she smiled back at him. She needed not have those thoughts with Alie so close "Well," She chuckled bashfully. "If you tell it to my father like you've told it to me, You'll join us in no time." she said wishing she should shake the feeling his words had given her. If you'll have me. She wished she'd heard Alec tell her those words. but then, would they have been true. Was anything he said true? He could manipulate iron, something that should have been against his very nature, a lie wouldn't have been much of a stretch.
She shook away those dark thoughts and the blush that seemed to return to her face and looked at him. "However, as General, I have to ask you a few questions, nothing too personal but we need to have a general idea of who we are recruiting. For a lot us, we're the only family, the only hope we have, you speak the right words, but that doesn't always mean everything." she said and sighed. She looked down at Alie with her face covering in watermelon. The little creature didn't even bother with a fork, or to wait to sit down but who could blame her, adults were talking and she was hungry. Sunday giggled. [clor=#9932CC]"Oh my, Look at your face."[/color] She said, Alice, looked up at her with a wide smile, proud of her mess. Sunday shook her head and gestured for them to walk toward the tables that were set up to eat at. She took the plate from Alice, placed hers and Alice's on the table, before lifting the messy little thing into a chair for her to properly eat. Sunday gestured for Rahmiel to take a seat as well.
"I'm going to give you a string of yes or no questions, followed by a few more complex questions now, I want you to listen to them all before answering, but answer them in the order I gave them. It is standard procedure, so you'll have to forgive me but it's harder to lie when you have to remember the order of each question. Ready?" she said and sighed. She didn't want to offend the man, especially when he seemed to want to help and Alice adored him so. When he was ready, she took a deep breath and began.
"Are you Fae? Are you Demon? Have you now, or ever worked alongside the current Demon Queen?Have you now, or ever worked alongside the Fae Queen? Have you been enslaved or otherwise harmed by either? Do you know the whereabouts of either? Have you now or have you ever...worked alongside the Remei, or their leader, Alec Iris? She swallowed hard the lump in her throat. She was hard t speak his name, usually, her father asked these questions but he was busy and as his second in command and heir, it was her job to do so. It would have -hopefully- been a lot easier had Alice not been sitting beside her. Sunday's eyes had cut over to her when she spoke his name but Alice merely hummed to herself while she ate her food, kicking her feet the entire time. She looked up at Rahmeil, trying to keep her face even but she wasn't sure she had been successful.
A L E C__I R I S
He was thankful then for the distraction that Alice brought, while he made a few glances around the room once more. These questions could blow his cover. He may have been less Fae than his sister, but he was still bound to most of their limitations. One trick question, one bad phrasing of his answer, could ruin everything. So naturally he was worried. Suddenly Sunday was gesturing for him to sit, and he stood puzzled by the invitation for a moment before nodding and proceeding to sit down, albeit rather hesitantly.
"I'm going to give you a string of yes or no questions, followed by a few more complex questions now, I want you to listen to them all before answering, but answer them in the order I gave them. It is standard procedure, so you'll have to forgive me but it's harder to lie when you have to remember the order of each question. Ready?" There was a small moment of silence before Rahmiel nodded, his stomach in knots.
"Are you Fae? Are you Demon? Have you now, or ever worked alongside the current Demon Queen? Have you now, or ever worked alongside the Fae Queen? Have you been enslaved or otherwise harmed by either? Do you know the whereabouts of either? Have you now or have you ever... worked alongside the Remei, or their leader, Alec Iris?"
Of course she had to ask. Rahmiel released a sigh, and was visibly uncomfortable as he shifted a bit in his seat. His elbows were on the table, his hands clasped together before him. Better to answer the questions than up and leave. He had no choice. He could refuse, but would they kick him out? He'd lose his chance to find out more about Alice, and have to wander around wondering whether he had a child in this world.
"Yes. No. Yes. No. No. Yes... And yes," he finally answered, allowing a small pause between each to allow her to accept the information as it came. It would be hard to explain away these details, and surely most people would not be accepted based on his answers. He'd said he wanted to keep details to himself but it would seem that wasn't going to happen. "I am not, nor have I ever been, a innocent man. I have a very long, very dark history and it is one that I am certainly not proud of..." he spoke, as if trying to cover for himself. "On my word as a Fae, I have changed. Of this I am wholeheartedly sure... But you have more questions anyway, no?"
She watched him warily. a little disappointed by a few of his questions but he was here rather than where ever they are and he made no indication that he knew her but again, he was Fae, a skilled Fae could easily hide this with a good word here or there. He knew where both Queens were, which was good, Father would need to know this and he should give this information up should he truly want to be a part of his rebellion but she couldn't help but be more cautious now.
"On my word as a Fae, I have changed. Of this, I am wholeheartedly sure... But you have more questions anyway, no?" He sad and he looked nervous about his answers which meant he did in fact, answer them honestly. There was no pain so he didn't seem to be marked. Sunday nodded to his question.
"I do, many in fact," She said and sighed. "You should know, the Remei have not been welcomed in this camp so far, even those that renounced their fealty. Usually, due to their marks, it prevents them from being entirely honest, even if they want to, so you'll have to have your mark removed, by way of flaying. but the pain from the mark would be much worse then that of the knife." She said, cutting her eyes over to Alice who'd gone to pillaging food from Sunday's plate. Sunday ignored this but Alice seemed to make a game of it, seeing how much she could take without her mother's notice, or rather without noticing her mother's notice. She was very much Fae, the little trickster. Sunday returned her attention back to Rahmeil. [color=#9932CC]"If you bare no mark, that would imply you worked directly under the Demon Queen, or was higher on the Remei food chain, neither is idle for us. So my questions are this; For whom did you work, Alec or The Demon Queen, what was your role, how did you break free of their hold and do they know you are no longer working for them?[/colors] she asked but wanted so badly to ask him where Alec was, but she couldn't bring herself to do to. Se wasn't sure she wanted to know. In her mind, she tortured herself with the image of him wrapped in his mother's arms and it sickened her. She knew not how close they were and how much of his love was a lie.
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"You should know, the Remei have not been welcomed in this camp so far, even those that have renounced their fealty. Usually, due to their marks, it prevents them from being entirely honest, even if they want to, so you'll have to have your mark removed, by way of flaying, but the pain from the mark would be much worse than that of the knife."
Rahmiel looked down with a sigh. Yet another thing he couldn't explain without giving everything away. He bore a mark, but not one that his men had ever possessed. I wear the same mark that only your former lover did which grants a power only he could make use of but I swear I'm not him, honestly. Even in his head it was entirely laughable. Of course he could come up with some excuse to explain why he had it and have it removed... But it was an ability he was not yet ready to give up, for any reason.
"If you bare no mark, that would imply you worked directly under the Demon Queen, or was higher on the Remei food chain, neither is idle for us. So my questions are this; For whom did you work, Alec or The Demon Queen, what was your role, how did you break free of their hold and do they know you are no longer working for them?"
Rahmiel's gaze snapped upwards suddenly, a deep frown weighing on his features. With one quick glance at Alice and another around the room to make sure no one was listening, he shook his head. By this point it was useless to even try. There was no way he could word it that wouldn't blow his cover, and he was not about to awkwardly dig himself deeper into a hole of lies. Even as a Fae he wasn't a particularly honest man, often being cunning enough to half-truth his way through life. Hell, he even kept his activities quiet without anyone from his family finding out. But in this situation he thought it might be better just to come right out and say it. His words were true; he had changed.
"Enough of these games," he answered suddenly, removing his hands from beneath his cloak and placing them on the table, lest she think he might reach for a weapon at any point. when he spoke again, his voice was low enough that only Sunday should be able to hear him. "I have not been entirely honest with you, and I think you know as much. Wanting to lend my assistance and make positive changes to this world to compensate for the wrongdoings of my past, while entirely true, was not the sole reason I accepted your invitation and came with you to this camp." With a lingering glance at Alice, he sighed. Much that he wanted to know the truth, he knew Sunday would want as much in return. He'd been avoiding her like the plague and he owed her an explanation, in addition to an apology. But first she must understand who he was.
"I will tell you everything you want to know, and answer any questions that you may have, but not here. Not surrounded by these people. So follow me, if you would," he stated, pushing himself up off the table. He gave her a small nod and thereafter proceeded to exit the tent, scanning the camp for a quieter area in which to talk with Sunday if and when she decided to follow him. When he was at the very edge of the clearing, he turned and took a breath while waiting for her to arrive, before continuing. "My name is not Rahmiel... I have never been Rahmiel. This is merely an identity I created for myself when I went into hiding," he explained. "This is not my face..." There was a pause.
Glancing down at the ground, he gave a quiet huff, before meeting her gaze. "My real name... is Alec Iris."
"I will tell you everything you want to know, and answer any questions that you may have, but not here. Not surrounded by these people. So follow me, if you would," He said and she sighed. This was ridiculous but whatever it was, perhaps he hadn't wanted to speak of it in front of Alice and that's why he kept looking at her. He stood and gave her a nod while and Sunday, begrudgingly nodded back. She turned to Alice.
"Alice, I want you to stay here, do not leave the camp, I want your word." Sunday said sternly to the little girl who was busy fiddling with the rind of a watermelon. "I will not leave the camp, Mommy," Alice said not looking at her, luckily, Alice was Fae in that regard, she couldn't lie. Good girl, Sunday said, kissed her atop her head and made her way toward the clearing where Rahmiel waited. She was confident enough in her fighting ability that should he attack she could take care of herself, yet she still felt nervous. This was all wrong, she could feel it.
"My name is not Rahmiel... I have never been Rahmiel. This is merely an identity I created for myself when I went into hiding,"[//b] He told her after a moment. She frowned. Hiding? [b]"This is not my face..." He said and she eyed said face, wondering what sorcery he used for such a feat. He was Fae, but shapeshifting was demon magic and he claimed not to be a demon...only the strangeness in her family seemed to develop such mutations to allow such a thing. Who was he?
"My real name... is Alec Iris."
At first, Sunday didn't think she heard him right. This could not be but the more she thought about it, the more plausible it seemed. she gaped at him. Why she couldn't sense the Fae in him, the answers to her questions, and most importantly Alice. She knew, Alice knew he was close, she left the camp to find him, that's why she was so clinging. She knew that this man, new face or not, was her father and like her, she was a Daddy's girl and he knew as well, Alice showed him. Sunday took a few involuntary steps back, covering her mouth to stop the sobs that were trying to escape it. Her eyes burning with hot tears, her brown eyes glowing red.
Ale--Why...How? She couldn't' manged any coherent thought until angry nd hurt took over. They were all in grave danger, even more so than before. If anyone in that camp knew whose child Alice was, they would not hesitate to hurt her to draw him out, they barely trusted Sunday now because of who her mother was, it was only that her father happened to be the Fae Prince that kept her safe, if they were to know that she was, in fac,t the lover of the man that broke the world...He couldn't answer her questions without faltering, he had to give it up, he couldn't lie, she wasn't even hard on him, they would torture them in front of Alec so that he might suffer as they did.
Her feet carried her forward and before she thought better of it, her hand came up and slammed hard across his cheek, had he been anyone else, it would have broken his jaw.
"How dare you? You are not welcome here! You must know this? She hissed looking around hoping no one heard this. "My father will kill you himself if he knew. You've destroyed everything, gave the world to a tyrant and you think you can come back now? Why? Why now-" and finally she thought. Alice. He did not know if Alice was his or not, she looked much too old but then again, she was born in the demon realm before he changed the world. He wouldn't have been able to be sure even if she'd shown him. Sunday backed away, looking at the ground, wrapping her arms around herself. "You want to know if Alice is yours? That's why you came, She is, Now leave." She said and it broke her heart to do so but she had a daughter to think about. Alice would not be happy but she'd have to make her understand what danger he posed should anyone find out on either side. Tears burned her eyes still, streaming down her cheek. "Just go, Alec, it safer that way."
Alice sighed and looked around. Mr. White was quiet for now she didn't know what to do with herself and she wasn’t allowed to leave the camp again. She was never allowed in the first place but now she really couldn't, Mommy asked for her word and she gave it. That wasn't a fair trick but it worked.
Alice's eyes fell on the very large demon that lumbered around the camp. Everyone was afraid of him; Alice wasn't. He wasn't going to hurt anybody, not here or now anyway and he really wanted to help. Mommy and Grandfather didn't know that but grown-ups didn't know a whole lot about a lot of things. Alice climbed out of the chair and walked up to the big man. The others around her watched her closely, afraid that he might hurt her; but he wouldn't. She knew.
"Hello, You're a friend of my Grandmother, My Grandmother is mean, a lot of people don't like her, I don't like her, why do you like her?" She asked him, having a hard time not falling over because she had to crane her neck to look up at him he was so big.
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"Ale-- Why... How?" she asked. Alec looked down at the ground, not entirely knowing what to say, but as he heard footsteps he knew exactly what was coming, and for the sake of not starting an actual fight or worsening this situation, he let it happen. His head twisted to one side as she slapped him with great force behind her swing. He didn't react, his arms staying by his side. It was a while before he turned to face her again.
"How dare you? You are not welcome here! You must know this?" she suddenly began. Alec's eyes found her at long last, watching her carefully in case she decided to strike out again. It wasn't like he'd stop her if she did, he deserved as much. "My father will kill you himself if he knew. You've destroyed everything, gave the world to a tyrant and you think you can come back now? Why? Why now-" she asked, and he shook his head once more, preparing himself to speak, but after backing up a bit she quickly filled the silence. "You want to know if Alice is yours? That's why you came. She is, now leave." Despite the situation, the news filled him with warmth, much that it hit him like a ton of bricks. He almost smiled, but caught himself, lest he get another slap. "Just go, Alec, it's safer that way."
Alec looked elsewhere for a time, releasing a quiet sigh that sounded as dejected as he looked. How was he supposed to just turn and walk away? His daughter was in this camp. He'd missed out on almost a decade of her life... Missed her first steps, her first word. Everything.
Suddenly he stood a little straighter and turned his stare back to Sunday. "Let them kill me," he spoke again. "They can all take it in turns if they bloody well please, or torture me until I can no longer stand it." He outstretched his arms either side, as if gesturing an invitation to do just that. He was entering into some very dangerous territory, he knew, but he'd had enough by this point. If she wanted to take her anger out on him, he would allow her that. The same went for every member of this Rebellion, even Simon. "I deserve that much," he persisted. "But I will not run away with my tail between my legs... Not this time, not knowing that my daughter is here." He finally let his arms down, and before continuing he lowered his tone to one that was perhaps more gentle and sincere. He was no longer challenging her, he only wished to talk. "Sunday, I may not have been entirely honest but nothing I said was a lie. You know that much. I am ashamed of my past and the part I played in destroying this world. I want to make up for that, however I can..." he paused. "I will make it right."
He stepped forward a bit. If nothing else, it was only to test the waters. "I know my presence here is dangerous... But there are ways we can keep my identity a secret. And I can help you in ways no one else can. I want to help you," he said. "Please, Sunday."
Sunday, I may not have been entirely honest but nothing I said was a lie. You know that much. I am ashamed of my past and the part I played in destroying this world. I want to make up for that, however, I can..." He said, his tone softer now but Sunday just shook her head again. "I will make it right." He said and stepped forward, she stepped back, holding her hands up as if to say don't touch me.
I know my presence here is dangerous... But there are ways we can keep my identity a secret. And I can help you in ways no one else can. I want to help you," He said and she scoffed. He couldn't be serious? He wanted her to lie to them. A lie of omission was still a lie. She could not do that. "Please, Sunday."He pleased and Sunday shook her head.
"You don't get it, Do you?" she said, aghast. "You can't make this right unless you go back and stop it from happening and even you can't do that." She said. "If any of them gets so much as an inkling of who you might be, who Alice might be, they won't hurt you, they'll hurt her, because that would be justice to them, to hurt the one thing you love, rip it from you, make you watch as they destroy you like you've destroyed them, they barely trust me because of who my other is, if it weren't for my father....they would have beaten me in the street and take Alice from me, that's what you've turned this world into." She said and ran her hands through her hair. "But you want me to lie to them, lie to my Father..for what? So you could see the daughter that you don't deserve to know?" She stopped and shook her head. It wasn't fair to Alice but it would be safe for her if she never saw him again. If he stayed far away but then, Sunday did not know Simon for a large portion of her life, how much better things could have been if she had, Alice might not have been born though either. Sunday then looked at him again, for a long time and finally what she'd been wanting to know fell from her lips. he wanted to fix things but what? The world...or was that a new thing because he found out about Alice's existence "Would you have even bothered to speak to me if she hadn't been here? If Alice hadn't found you, would you have even come to this conclusion, because it seems awfully convenience to have this change of heart when it didn't bother you before? The millions of people, fae and demon alike that suffered, perished. Humans don't even exist anymore. None of that mattered to you then, I didn't matter to you then." she said and tears touched her red eyes again. She hated that she still, even in this moment still loved him and she meant nothing in return. That hurt every day
A L E C__I R I S
"You think this didn't matter to me before I came here? That I'm just telling you what you want to hear right now to save my own skin?" he snapped, caring very little that he was raising his voice, which was suddenly filled with resentment. "I spent every minute of every day travelling from place to place, trying to help the people I condemned to this fate! It might not be much compared the devastation I caused but trust me, I have lost the powers that meant I could just click my fingers and make this all go away. If I was even half as strong as I was back then, d'you not think I would storm into that castle and rip the crown right off your mother's head? Because I would, without a single doubt... but I can't anymore." He glanced down at the ground, fists clenched by his sides. The chances that she would hear him out were very slim, he knew as much, but he would finish what he'd started, regardless of the outcome.
"I thought about tracking you down many times... But I knew you would likely not forgive me, not after everything I did. Truthfully, I wanted to avoid this very conversation. Because it's a futile effort on my part. I could apologise until my dying breath, but there's too much water under the bridge," he admitted. "That's why I didn't come to you sooner." He released a sigh, and shook his head. "But it's just as well. Make no mistake, I don't believe I actually deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve anyone's forgiveness, for that matter. But regardless of whether you and the rest of the world hate me and want me to suffer a very drawn-out, very painful death, I will still try my hardest to make a difference. I owe these people so much more, and I know that. But there's only so much I can do on my own."
Alec's gaze shifted in the direction of the tent they were just in. "I do not want you or Alice to get hurt, so if you think the risk of my presence too great in comparison to the help I can offer you... I... I will go."
"I thought about tracking you down many times... But I knew you would likely not forgive me, not after everything I did. Truthfully, I wanted to avoid this very conversation. Because it's a futile effort on my part. I could apologise until my dying breath, but there's too much water under the bridge," He said and she sighed, watching his eyes. finally able to turn and face him directly, without fear that she might strike him. "That's why I didn't come to you sooner." He said and she swallowed. She'd hoped for more than that, more than him just wanting forgiveness but that would be too much she realized. "But it's just as well. Make no mistake, I don't believe I actually deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve anyone's forgiveness, for that matter. But regardless of whether you and the rest of the world hate me and want me to suffer a very drawn-out, very painful death, I will still try my hardest to make a difference. I owe these people so much more, and I know that. But there's only so much I can do on my own." He said and she watched him, the words were true, and they weren't cryptic meaning he wasn't trying to hide them between half truths. So perhaps he really wanted forgiveness and to make amends.
he needed a second chance, he was suffering, not the same but he was. He had no family left, no family that wanted him besides his little girl and Sunday if she wanted to admit it and she didn't. It wouldn't be right and she'd be no better than that woman she was forced to call her mother."I do not want you or Alice to get hurt, so if you think the risk of my presence too great in comparison to the help I can offer you... I... I will go."
He said and she knew that was a bluff fo the most part but she let it go. He wanted to stay, to help and Alice, she wanted her father, badly enough to travel outside of the camp to find him, knowing he was close. She would do the same if Sunday sent him away. She would have done the same thing if she was forbidden to see her father. Take a breath, Sunday scratched at her arm, an old habit she thought she kicked.
"Wait." She said. 'It's not for me to have the final say, so I will have to tell my father who you are, and it will be for him to decide. He is King until Grandmother is recovered. He's gone through a great deal as it is but I have him my word I would be honest with him, I can only hope he doesn't decide to kill you and I won't stop him if he does." She said and wished she didn't mean it but he hurt her. her so many, it would be just, except where Alice was concerned.
"I've not forgiven you for what you've done, and it is likely he won't either, but, for Alice, I will stay my hand and allow you to attempt to make up for what you've done, she needs her father, you've missed enough for her life." She said and turned from him., walking toward the camp once more, her eyes closed to the countless dreams where they'd been together at Alice's birth, she'd always imagine him holding her hand. Instead, she gave birth to Alice alone, in the demon realm, in a cell. Had her father not found her when he had...
She stopped her walk before she got too far from where they'd been. She didn't turn, she merely held her arms around herself. "Do you... She paused, unsure if she wanted to know the answer to this question, one way or another. But her father could decide to kill him and she would never know. "Did you...love me at all? Or was that a lie too?" It was a question, not an accusation and it wasn't what she wanted to know, not entirely.
Do you love me still, is what she wanted to say but couldn't bring herself to ask.
A L E C__I R I S
"I've not forgiven you for what you've done, and it is likely he won't either, but, for Alice, I will stay my hand and allow you to attempt to make up for what you've done, she needs her father, you've missed enough for her life."
Alec couldn't help but look down at the ground after hearing that. It wasn't like he'd intentionally missed out on her upbringing. He had no idea she even existed, nor could he have ever dreamed up such a notion. They'd shared a bed once, so perhaps he should have known better, but in his mind his Wraith side would have prevented it from happening so quickly. But regardless, she was right, just as she'd always been. For whatever reason or excuse he could ever offer, the fact remained that he had not been there in his daughter's life; he would make up for that, just as he would make up for all his other terrible acts. One way or another.
As he heard footsteps his gaze lifted and he watched as Sunday walked away, almost opening his mouth to speak before thinking better of it. She was being tolerant enough of him as it was, he really didn't need to dig himself further into this hole. He was just beginning to crawl his way out of it, little by little. He gave a sigh, and not long after he did so he noticed that she had halted completely, but would not turn to face him again. Confused by this, he cocked his head to one side, shifting uneasily on the spot.
"Do you..." she began, before stopping herself and pausing for a time. "Did you... love me at all? Or was that a lie too?"
Alec's mind went blank for what felt like an eternity, but was really only a second or two of delay. He was taken aback by her question, of course, but didn't think she'd take well to a long pause, so the words were being spoken even before he'd had time to think them over. "Of course I did," he answered confidently, as if there was no way he'd ever doubted it. "I kept many things from you back then, and deceived everyone for years, but my feelings for you have always been genuine... I loved you then," he continued, constantly fighting the urge to step forward, but stopping himself because he knew she only needed the answer to her question, for whatever reason that may have been. He didn't know if this 'truce' between them was temporary or not, but either way it was already standing on shaky legs. He didn't need to give it that unnecessary push. Still, he couldn't help but feel like there was more to that question than she was willing to let on, so yet again the words were filling the silence long before he could stop himself. "I... I still do, Sunday. That won't ever change."
By this point Alec didn't know if she had turned to face him or if she was walking away, because his eyes were trained on the ground. If she reacted badly, he did not want to see it.
Sunday's head shoot up and she turned to face him, he wasn't looking at her but it didn't matter. He loved her still? How?
"Then why wasn't I enough?! She cried, not caring who heard. "We could have been happy! Alice could have been born with you there, not in a cell in the demon realm! Where you so blind that you couldn't see what you had, what we could have had?" Emotions took her legs and she crumbled to the floor, sobbing into her hand. This hurt so much more than thinking that he loved her then but not now. He still loved her and it wasn't enough to change him. He let this happen to her, to them, even though he loved her and loved her still. Had it not been for Alice, he said it himself, he would have stayed away. He wouldn't have bothered. His love for her still, even now, wasn't enough. Her self-esteem was always low but this was devastating. She was glad he wanted to be there for Alice, but she wished, hoped he wanted to be there for both of them. "Why was I not good enough....Why am I never good enough?"
A L E C__I R I S
"Why was I not good enough... Why am I never good enough?" she asked.
He made no attempt to move closer. He'd tried that once and she had kept him at a distance, and in this sensitive state he didn't trust she wouldn't strike him again if given the chance.
"Yes, Sunday, I was blindsided by my goal... I didn't show appreciation for what I had. Not for the love you gave me, nor the love my family gave me," he admitted, huffing quietly. "But if I even believed for a second that the world would be so chaotic, I would have given the idea up... I would have found another way. I honestly thought that I was doing right by everyone, and that it didn't matter what I had to do to achieve that goal, because the end result would be a world of peace where we could be together..." Alec looked down at the ground as he began to fiddle with his cloak absentmindedly, not really knowing what he could say that would make her feel even a little bit better. "War has torn my family apart for generations... That was my reason, initially, for starting all those plans... But when you came into my life, it became more than just that. I didn't want us to be torn apart, ever, and I hoped we could start a family together some day in a place where our child would be safe. I started to care less about the people I was hurting, because a perfect life with you was something I wanted so desperately."
Alec didn't move forward at all, but he did lower himself to his knees, so that he was at her level. "Now our family, our relationship, has never been more broken, and it's all my fault..." he continued, looking up at long last. "Sunday, I don't ever want you to think you're 'not good enough'... I do love you, with all my heart, and I know I should have found you sooner... I just couldn't stomach facing you and seeing such hatred in your eyes where there used to be love," he told her, his voice quiet. "Anyone else, sure... But not you."
Taking a breath, Alec ran a hand over his hair. "I am truly sorry for hurting you, Sunday."
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