Wilhemina Ranthun's Story

Music filled the air of the small practice room. Mina was completely engrossed in it. Her fingers moved over the strings with ease. She had been there since 6:00 am. New songs for the next concert, pieces to work on for school and just her normal rehearsing. There had been a break to drink her tea and give a few other notes a look over but primarily it had been her and the harp.

Mina preferred the morning, the music rooms tended to be empty, she’d be left alone and undisturbed in her little world.

A light knock on the door made her eyes look up from her music and she missed a string. There was a small off sound as her fingers hit the wrong note and she scowled.

Professor Broaten was at the door. He opened it a crack.

“Sorry Wilhemina but thought you should know that it is lunch time. Maybe take a break? Get some fresh air?”

He was well aware of the girl’s anxiety issues and she had told him at the start of the year that her therapist wanted her to take time away from music. She had asked him to limit her time in the small, isolated rooms to a maximum of no more than six hours at a time. It would ensure that she remembered to eat and walk around.

“Thank you Professor.” She placed the harp back on the floor and lamented the loss of its comforting weight from her shoulder.

He smiled at her, a fatherly and concerned expression on his face that made Mina feel uncomfortable. “We’ll see you later.”

Professor Broaten closed the door and Mina stood to gather her things. She pulled on her black coat and picked up her bag. Her music weighted the backpack considerably and she pulled it onto both shoulders. Light gloves were pulled onto her hands and Mina made her way out of the music room and the building itself.

Mina shivered as the wind hit her stocking clad legs. She walked across the campus, intent on the campus cafe. She would avoid the student union as the crowds there would be bigger and likely to cause her some distress.

”Not too bad. A whole week and no attacks. No stress, the new pieces aren’t too bad and I will be ready by the concert next week.”

A small smile pulled on one side of her mouth as she pulled open the door to the cafe and headed to the counter. “Latte please.”

The barista nodded and Mina found a table in the corner. She dropped her things and paid for her coffee. Looking out the window, Mina watched people pass by as she sipped her coffee.

”Not doing badly at all."

Her phone buzzed and she frowned as she picked it up. “Fuck"

It was her mother. She hadn’t spoken to her in a very long time. Months maybe, she couldn’t be sure. Mina ignored it, feeling her anxiety rise. Quickly she fumbled with her cup, placing it down as she pulled out some sheet music.

Pencil in hand she took a deep breath and focused on the notes. She hummed to herself as the pencil moved across the page and immediately she felt better.

Mina spent an hour and a half at the cafe. She was absorbed in watching everyone go by, losing herself in the other people without actually having to interact with them. She watched couples talking and imagined their conversations. Were they fighting or speaking of plans for that evening? Friends meeting up, hugging or passing notes.

She piled her music back into her bag, pocketed her phone and headed off back to the music building. Her steps were quick and she manoeuvred around people. Her head was down, her shoulders hunched. It was one thing to watch them from the other side of a window but completely different to be apart of them.

Mina opened the door to the music building and practically ran down the hall. She opened the door to the room where her harp was and pressed her back to it as she closed it. Her heart was pounding and she was breathing hard.

“I am studying here. Room is occupied.” The girl looked up from her books. She was sitting on the floor and Mina frowned.

“This is my room. See that is my harp. You have to leave now.” Mina’s words were halting as she struggled to control her breathing.

“Well I was told you weren’t coming back today. Sorry. I need to study though. Mind sharing?”

Sharing? Share? Mina’s eyes were wide. Was this girl crazy? “I can’t...I...share?”

She was on edge and her hands began to clench and unclench at her sides. The girl looked up at Mina with large brown eyes. “Hey, are you okay?” She started to stand and Mina pressed herself against the door.

A phone rang. The brown-eyed girl looked at Mina expectantly. Shaking hands pulled her phone from her pocket. Mina didn’t look at the number and the moment she said hello and heard the voice on the other end she regretted it.

“Wilhemina, would it kill you to answer a message from me? Am I really that horrible?”

Mina’s eyes were on the other girl. She had sat back down and was focused on her books again. “Hello mother. What can I do for you?”

She was trying hard to be calm but the whole thing threatened to overwhelm her.

“Well I had hoped to meet and have dinner to discuss a few things with you but as with the previous attempt I am sure you will have things that you need to do and will not meet me.” Her mother paused. “Wilhemina I am getting married next month. He is a wonderful man, very successful. I had hoped you would play at the wedding.”

Mina’s knees gave out and she slid to the floor. She couldn’t see, there were tears forming in her eyes. She was having trouble breathing. The other girl looked up and concern appeared on her face. She scrambled across the floor to sit beside Mina. Her arm went gently around her shoulders.

Mina didn’t shrink from the contact. She normally would but right now her mind was too overloaded.

Play at the wedding. Not love for you to attend, no want you to be stand with me. Just play Mina wanted to scream, wanted to ask her mother is she was invited to the reception, wanted to snidely ask what the pay would be. She could do none of these things.

“Wilhemina, did you hear me? Do you have anything to say? A yes would be appreciated so that I can cross that off the list. You would not believe how hard it is to find decent musicians.”

Mina dropped her phone and put her hands to her face. The other girl picked it up.

“Um, hello? Hi, yeah my name is Claire. Sorry but she just got called away. Yeah they were waiting for her and she was about to get in shit. She wasn’t supposed to have her phone. I am sure she will call you back when she isn’t in rehearsal. Okay...so...bye.”

She hit a button and put the phone on the floor. Claire wrapped her arm tighter around Mina. “It’s okay....” She murmured calming things to Mina as the girl shook.

It took a great deal of time before she was calm enough to speak. Mina looked at the other girl. “I need to work. You...you can’t be in here.”

Claire frowned. “Thank you for helping me Claire. Oh no problem. Nice to meet you by the way, sorry I stressed you out so much. That’s okay, I am just a bit high strung. Ah well, I’d be happy to find a new room but you seem pretty shaken up, you want to talk? Want a tea?”

Claire’s tone was sarcastic and Mina felt her shoulders hunch. “I...I...yes, thank you...I just.” Her voice caught in her throat. She realized Claire still had her arm around her. Mina looked up. “I get anxious and my mother...” She pointed to the phone. “She makes it worse.”

Claire scanned Mina’s face. “Parents suck. Anxious huh? We all got our issues right? Come on, you play or whatever and I will sit over there. We can keep each other company and if your mom calls again I’ll play interference.” Claire smiled.

Mina was so confused and all she could do was nod. She had never met someone like Claire. She stood and began to pull out her music.

Claire went back to her books. Mina played and Claire occasionally stopped to listen. Around dinner time, Claire closed up her books. “Come on, you and me, some dinner and you can tell me all about yourself.”

Mina wanted to say no but she couldn’t find the words. She stood, packed her things and followed Claire. The two women found a small quiet restaurant just off campus and eventually, Claire managed to get some words out of Mina.

By the end of the meal, Mina had relaxed just a little and Claire made her promise to meet up for lunch the next day.

Mina laid in bed that night, eyes on the ceiling and her mind on Claire.

Mina woke and began her routine. It was the same everyday. Awake by 6:00, half an hour writing music, shower, breakfast, more writing, homework and off to the music school by 8:00 am, 8:30 if writing was going really well.

It was no different today though her mind was still on Claire. Mina couldn’t figure out why she didn’t mind the woman’s company. She liked to be alone, liked the quiet and lack of anxiety that social interactions caused. Claire had somehow circumvented that instinct.

She walked towards the school, hands in her pockets and face buried into her scarf against the early morning wind. I should cancel lunch. Maybe she will cancel lunch. Yesterday she just felt bad because she happened to be there when mother called. Mina could feel the tension building in her body. She grew more and more anxious about seeing Claire at lunch the more she thought about it.

By the time she made it to the practice room Mina’s heart was pounding and she was having trouble breathing. She closed the door with a little too much force and dropped her bag on the floor. Fingers tore at her coat in an effort to free herself from the garment.

Her coat found a home on the floor along with her bag and Mina sat at the harp. She pulled it to rest on her shoulder and instantly felt better. Her fingers began to move along the strings and with the first few notes her anxiety began to ease.

She had no idea how long she played for. It was Saturday and she had no classes just a rehearsal later that afternoon. Mina knew that even the professor wouldn’t bother her today and she relished the complete solitude that was the practice room.

Her phone vibrated in her coat pocket and Mina paused to check it. The clock said 11 am and there were three text messages and one missed call. She pulled her water bottle out of her backpack, took a long drink and looked over her texts. Two were from her mother and one from Claire. The missed call was also her mother. The last thing Mina wanted to do today was speak to her mother.

She clicked on Claire’s text.
”Still good for lunch. Will pick you up at the music school. I know you will be there. Don’t say no, no backing out as much as you are going to want to. I will take you to rehearsal after.”

Mina frowned. How did she know I was here or that I was going to cancel? Why isn’t she cancelling?

She swallowed the lump in her throat and went back to the harp.
***
The song ended and the clapping brought her out of her reverie. Mina looked over to find Claire standing there.
“Very pretty.” Claire smiled and Mina returned it. “Grab your coat and bag, let’s eat.”

Mina replaced the harp and slowly stood. “You don’t have to do this, I am sure you have better things to do with your day.”

Claire’s hands went to her hips. “I knew you were gonna worry. If I didn’t want to have lunch I wouldn’t have said let’s have lunch and I wouldn’t be here.”

Mina looked a little confused and unsure. Claire laughed and tossed Mina her coat. “Come on.”