Distance, she needed some distance. Being around people was not something she wanted right now, not at all. No matter what she wanted to believe, even if she wished to deny it with her whole being, Lulu was beginning to grasp upon the fact that she really remembered her own funeral, her own deathāplummeting ten stories out of a broken window thanks to some ass with a temper problem who couldnāt handle being shot down. It canāt be true . . . all of this canāt. . . . she thought to herself as she continued to walk away from the group, even hearing Jackās words about not being able to return to Earth, or how she might wander for centuries if she wasnāt careful. Lulu just continued walking repeating the statement of, āNone of this can be true.ā to herself.
Sincerely, she didnāt want to believe it, she didnāt want to believe she really had died, though so much weighed against it not being true, Lulu wanted it to be a lie. The months of amnesia, finding her own headstone in a graveyard, waking up and finding people who seemed to be in a situation much like her own. . . . It was just too much for her. The breaths the redhead was taking in were heavy ones, strained and quick, the reflected the hasty beatings of the small girlās heart as her form began to quiver from anxiety.
Memories played back through her mind, causing her to halt where she was, her neck limply going forward. She could remember it. The moment she so wanted to deny as being nothing more than a dream . . . the moment she had died. The sound of shattering glass, her body feeling weightless for but a moment as she tipped over the edge; the utter confusion she felt while her body seemed to go numb. A sharp ringing played through her head as all she was able to see were buildings stretching up toward the blue-blue sky, before. . . . Before the weight returned to her body in a sudden instant that is, the ringing in her head stopped as pain took its place all too quickly. It shot through her as quick as an arrow, sharp and well aimed, and with that ache came the heaviness. The whole world seemed to go silent, as sheād lost sensation in her whole being, the pain was gone as her vision had flittered in and out, finally submerging her in what seemed like perpetual darkness.
The heaviness of her body was gone, and she returned to being weightless again . . . it was from there things blurred, memories were little better than fragmented dreams, yet she could remember things that she shouldnāt have, there was a latent knowledge lodged within that mind of hers that she shouldnāt have possessed if she really had not died. And that was something she could not deny, no matter how much she wanted to. Lulu knew, deep down . . . she knew she was dead.
The confusion, the questions, and the realization weighed upon that small girlās shoulders as her heart felt like it was sinking into the deep depths of her stomach. The girlās odd eyes seemed to go vacant as tears began to spill over their rims. There was so much she didnāt understand still. She felt . . . isolated again. The faƧade she carried, the one of strength faded from her being for the moment as her true emotions revealed themselves in those tears of hers. No matter what I wanted to say to anyone, I was always alone wasnāt I? I always tried to show I was strong until he would return for me, but, it looks like thereās no point in that anymore. I-Iām a dead girl.
That was it, she was dead. It was as simple as that, Lusine Fiala was dead! The whole reason for her mannerisms, for her acting strong and like she was ahead of others, she wasnāt going to be seeing him again, so there was no point in it. A shiver ran up Luluās spine without warning, and she lifted her head up and looked up to the blank white sky, a forlorn expression upon her young features. She wasnāt alone in this situation, those other people, the ones she knew the names of. . . . They seemed to be in the same boat as her, dead and here for some reason, gathered for a purpose some seemed to understand while others did not. But, did she really even care? Her whole reason for being in the first place was for the sake of the promise that had been made to her years ago, the one that ensured to her that she would never have to be alone again at some point in the distant future.
Yet, that promise was severed by death itself, and that was something there was no overcoming. Even if Jack had said there was a chance for her to return to Earth . . . what was the point? Upon that planet, she was dead to the world. To all she knew, to her parents, and to the boy she had made the promise too. . . . To them, Lusine Fiala was dead.
It doesnāt matter, if I got lost here forever, then . . . it wouldnāt make a difference. she thought to herself, a deep sigh coming from her lips while she sniffled, finding that her nose had begun to run from her silent crying. Lulu shut her eyes and let her head drop forward, heart heavy. Why was she here. . . ? Without making a single noise, the redhead allowed her odd eyes to open slightly, to gaze at the mist covered ground without a single thought. However, as she allowed her eyes to just come open a touch, she spotted something before her feet that she had not seen there before.
Partly consumed by the white fog that obscured the ground, laying face up, was something that quite surprised Lulu. Sniffling again, she merely looked upon it as one of the remaining tears rolled down the remnants of her face, and fell to land upon the black, beaded eye of a strange stuffed animal. What a stuffed animal of any sort would be doing in a world such as this, Lulu didnāt know, but seeing it gave her feelings of nostalgia. It brought her back to the days of her childhood, of when her only friends were her toys and dolls. In a way, the memories were sweet, but also bitterābecause she was reminded of how utterly alone she was, even in those early days. For a moment more, she stared at it before finding herself sighing heavily and bearing a rather melancholy smile upon her lips, ā. . . .I guess old habits die hard, donāt they? Even though Iām eighteen, I canāt go and leave a stuffed animal lying around because I feel like itād be lonesome otherwise.ā She murmured to herself quietly, stooping down before the toy. āCāmon, I donāt know where Iām going or whatās ahead of me now Mr. Penguin, but at least with me you wonāt be alone. . . .ā
And without hesitating a single bit, Lulu reach her small arms out, and took hold of the toy by its sides before it all came back to her. A sharp gasp resounded from her as her body tensed up, eyes going wide as she remained knelt down. . . . .I remember. she thought, beginning to shake, Everything, it-it, I-I. . . .
ā. . . .with everyone, I remember being with everyone, how I know them.ā She murmured, blinking suddenly before she looked back down to the toy she had a light grasp upon. āAnd I remember you, Pepen.ā A look of sorrow happened over Luluās face as she quickly brought the toy off up the ground and brought it to her chest, embracing it to her tightly. āIām so sorry I left you all alone.ā