Noon
The Shopping District
“I missed you too.” I didn’t know how I could manage to come clean to him about what had happened since I ran away at fifteen, eleven years ago. I was sure my mother had painted as ugly a picture as possible and that he was just revelling in the fact that his boy was still alive. Perhaps soon the shock would wear off and he’d realise that I was just another of the spreading cancer in Eden and try and finish me off for my mother. The earlier thought that he was just happy to see me dissolved like sugar in water and my heartbeat kicked up into a foxtrot again. “I’m sorry…. I didn’t want either of you to know,” I muttered and he held on tighter. In a moment I thought, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if my father strangled me to death because at least then it was someone I knew. I wouldn’t have to risk it being someone I’d never seen before whose face would be unrecognizable when they put a bullet in my face. I could leave with all of the good memories associated with the face weathered by time and work. Eventually though he loosened his grip and he kissed the top of my head like he used to when I was younger and I couldn’t help but smile. I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket but I was much more content in the warmth of a familiar but unfamiliar hug.
I knew it was a bad idea to not respond immediately but I didn’t care at the time, who would?
“You should come home.”
“I can’t.”
“Your mother left… when I didn’t agree with her.”
“Dad… I…. I’m so sorry.”
“It isn’t your fault. You’re this way because of government fuck ups. You can be normal – no one has to know.”
I moved his hands from around me and stepped back. I wanted to; I wanted to go home and sleep in my bed and look out my window and know that I was safe there. But I was already known as a casualty and I had to convince him somehow that I could never go home again – I could never be normal again. Pulling in a deep breath, I gripped onto the left sleeve of my shirt and clenched my hand into a fist before I tugged it up to reveal the shackle to him. For a moment he was silent and then with shaking hands he took hold of mine and lifted it up closer so he could see the gold band etched with the name of an owner. His eyes; the ones he’d shared with me; were indescribable as he examined it and eventually he shut them and his shoulders dropped with recognition. “I can’t go home. They know what I am now, Dad. Once they take this off I don’t know what’ll happen to me,” I said, softly but seriously as I took my hand back and covered the band once again. He nodded, slowly, and took something from his pocket which I soon realised was the wallet I’d bought for him before I’d been forced to leave home. For a moment I had no idea what he was doing until he pulled a photo out of it and pressed it to my hand. “Dad I-”
“Take it. I need you to have something so you know that I’m always here. Always.” I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t… I couldn’t. “Also!” He lifted my hand with the photo and took a pen from his coat and wrote on the back of it before letting go. “My number,” he stated. I wanted to argue with him but from the look in his eyes I knew it wouldn’t get me anywhere and instead I just stepped closer and pressed my forehead to his shoulder so that he’d hug me again. I didn’t know when I’d see him again and I wanted to remember how it felt to be embraced by someone who would never turn against me. By someone who loved me. “You be careful,” he whispered in my ear and I nodded. That was when I heard someone mention that the Prince was in the area and I lifted my head to see if he was over my dad’s shoulder and then to the side…. From where I was I couldn’t properly see his face but more and more people were stopping to bow their heads in respect and I panicked. “Kae!” I rushed out an apology as I kept my gaze trained on Prince Yuukimasa and eventually he caught on and glanced to where I was looking; his mood changed instantly. He placed a hand on my shoulder, gripped tightly, pulled a little to kiss my forehead and then walked off and watching his back… it hurt more than anything had before. I shook my head to clear it and stuffed the photo into my back pocket without looking at it just yet; made my way to my Master with my head low.
I was prepared for whatever he was ready to do.