Snippet #2465793

The tears had stopped falling. The pain had faded away to a dull murmur at the back of her mind, the sound of it smothered by the crowding masses of questions closing in on the negative thought invading her mind. Questions about Ryan and the relationship she was forming with him. Was this the right thing for her to do? Would the age difference, and the fact that he wasn't 17 yet, be an issue? What would the others in the mansion say to a relationship between them? What would Jonathan say? Despite believing he would approve, she decided to sidestep this question and move on. The question that mattered most in that moment however was far more important. Did it really matter to her what they would say?
'Hell no,' she thought, a stubborn streak cutting through every other emotion. Except one. She did love him, and she had managed to finally let someone in beyond her walls and defenses, but a familiar voice deep within resurfaced. Like an unwanted relative at Christmas, it appeared whenever something good was happening her life to cloud her mind with doubts and generally make her life miserable. One look into Ryan's green eyes dispelled the voice to the deep pit it had clawed its way out of.
'And you can rot there for all I care,' she called to the voice of doubts fading away as it slipped further and further away from her.

"Well..." she started, her voice still slightly shaky, "I never was one for trains." Memory closed her eyes with a sigh and picture herself in her mind tying a noose around her neck and hanging herself from the ceiling of her corridor within.
'Really? "I never was one for trains"?!' In her attempt to answer him and lighten the mood and stop the tears, she had made herself look like a complete idiot. 'Well, wait ago, Memory. I wouldn't be surprised if he gave up on you just for that. I can't wait until he sees everything else you have to offer,' she thought to herself sardonically. She sighed slightly and opened her eyes looking to the ceiling with a slight roll of her chocolate colored orbs.
'Well hello again voice, I see you're back to ruin another good moment in my life.'

Memory returned her eyes to Ryan and smiled apologetically. The voice once again faded as their eyes locked. The reassuring warmth from his hands holding her own brought comfort and security to her mind. She stood there, staring deep into his eyes, for so long she didn't even realise if it was seconds, minutes or hours going by. Inhaling deeply, and letting it slowly, she attempt her answer again.
"I'm staying, Ryan. I can't guarantee you'll like everything about me, but I'm staying." Memory's mouth went dry as she started trying to say something else. Her stomach flipped over with the effort of trying to say what was coming next, slight nausea washing over her. She swallowed a couple of times to wet her throat.

"I-I..." She breathed out slowly, shakily, again. "I love you." The full impact of the words finally reached her. She meant it. With all her heart, she meant it. But this was something she still had difficulty saying to Jonathan, her own brother. She looked away blushing. It had been burning inside her for so long. Now that she had finally told him, everything seemed to be that little bit better and brighter. She returned her eyes to his. She felt ready now, to finally create be a part of a relationship built on love and trust, and she would have done so much more here with him and been more. But, like they did everything time, her defenses finally kicked in and she lost all confidence again. Despite this, she didn't care. She had finally told him how she felt, and that was enough for her right now if it was all she would be able to do. She continued to stare into his eyes, thinking about how much better her life had just become.

---

“Are you mad?! The fact that humans can’t even get over problems within their own damn race proves my point! Back home in Russia I could be beaten just for being bisexual let alone being a mutant! Are you saying we should trust the humans who can’t even all accept different races and sexualities without a few lynching’s not to chain us all up and throw us in prisons! I’ve already been tortured once in my life and I will not let them do it to me again!”

Her words about being tortured brought a pain to his heart. He hated hearing about anyone, humans or mutants being hurt, and hated it even more when it was him hurting them. But despite this, Cara's words had not motivated him to change his opinions in any way. Nor had they extinguished the fire still raging within at her outbursts that would surely lead to a divide in the mutants under Charles's care. Even now, the split was obvious. It had become physical, people in the room visibly showing which side they were on. But, rather than get himself involved again with the argument, something he was sure he would have plenty of time in the future to do, he continued his conversation with Mutt.

Jonathan smiled as best he could when Mutt gestured towards his jacket. He lifted the coffee cup and tried to cover the look on his face. While Jonathan tried to accept everyone he could, sometimes there would be certain fanatics and such whose views would just be smothering. This Mutt seemed to be one, the collection of pins making Jonathan's eyebrows rise high and he drank to warm liquid. Smoothing out his expression, he decided to give Mutt another shot. It was bad enough being the only human here during a conversation such as this. Acting like he normally would wasn't going to help any. He lowered the cup and switched it to his other hand before taking a closer look at the pins. Something on them stood out to him and realisation hit him hard.

"You're that guy!" he said, gesturing to Mutt with his coffee cup. "From the website. You are him right? That mutant rights fana-" Jonathan stopped short of saying "fanatic" with a quiet intake of breath and snapped his mouth shut, the lips pressed tightly together and an apologetic look on his face. Taking a deep breath, and letting it with a sigh, he tried again.
"It's good to see a human amongst us who doesn't hate our kind." Jonathan smiled apologetically. "If you are "a friend of mutants" then you're a friend of mine. Just holler if you ever need anything."

'Smooth, J. Real smooth. This is why you have barely any friends.'