āThe funny thing is, deep down I think all Iāve ever wanted is for someone to give a damn about me.ā
Stella was no longer so willing to believe that he viewed everything so carelessly, but she still frowned when he insinuated that he used his friends for their utility only. She suspected that he was being dishonest or facetious with her, but then, it was slowly becoming normal, to try and see around the immediate words and tone, at least to a point. They made for a very strange duo, honestly, each of them a strange mix of straightforward and evasive.
The rest of the answer, though, was a bit more illuminating, if still vague. Maybe the matter itself was poorly defined. What did it really mean, to call someone a friend, anyhow? āA dream, huh? Sounds nice.ā Of course, the question was eventually turned back around on her, though the complicated entrance into Specter prevented her from answering for a few more minutes, and when they were through, she immediately guided them to the safehouse Cass had told her was set up in the area. It was in the middle of a very quiet area, and their entrance was not noticed due to the relative sparseness of residential homes in the area. Her communicator, detached from the bike dash, served to automatically unlock the doors, and they stepped inside the foyer of what was actually a very nice house.
āHow much money does he have, anyway?ā she muttered, shaking her head. She found it hard to believe that even a doctor made this much if he was not able to practice openly, and she got the impression that most people had only volunteered for the EDEN project if they were a bit destitute. But who knewāhe seemed to have a lot of allies.
Allies, friendsā¦ Stella sighed through her nose. āI donāt really know,ā she admitted at last, making an inspection of the immediate area partly out of necessity and partly to have something to do with herself while she tried to decide how she wanted to talk about an uncomfortable topic. āIāve known people I didnāt dislikeā¦ the bookstore used to have some regular customers that would talk to me whenever they came in. But other than thatā¦ if I did, it was a long time ago, and I donāt remember their faces.ā She couldn't say she hadnāt, because she felt like she had had at least one, butā¦ did it really count if she couldnāt recall?
Finding the kitchen, she rummaged through the fridge until she pulled out enough ingredients to make something decent, laying it all out on the nice marble countertops. She figured they could probably plan and eat at the same time, and cooking might count as a nice way to distract herself while they did.
āAnyway, I guess it doesnāt matter. But you were thinking we need to draw the ugly stepsister out somehow, right?ā It was his fairytale metaphor, but it was as good a way as any to refer to whomever or whatever this mysterious Spore was, no? āAny ideas on how to go about doing that?ā Even bait was useless if the fish didnāt know it was there, after all.
Truly, it was difficult for Darcia to conceptualize. In all honesty, the part that was sticking with her the most was not what her function was meant to beāfor she could accept that it was any number of things. She was just a machine, made for someone elseās design, and she understood that it would never be her choice what she was to do. What really puzzled her was that he said she was not as she was supposed to be. That she was meant to be something else.
āDoes that mean that this one is a failure?ā she asked cautiously, almost afraid of the answer. Certainly, many other people seemed to believe so, butā¦ Dr. Engels had never seemed to be among them. She wasnāt sure what it would do to her to find out that she was wrong about that, but she did not look forward to the discovery. Fortunately, it did not come.
He looked at her kindly, a sympathetic expression clear on his face. āNo, Darcia, it does not make you a failure at all. What it means is that, like any other person, you have growing to do, and only you get to decide how.ā
The sentiment echoed what Crux had said, about it being her choice what she did, and frankly, she wasnāt sure she understood what that meant. To be able to choose her fate? No, surely that was something reserved for human beings. It was not a luxury for something like herāsomething that could not even truly command her own body, as she had been so poignantly reminded earlier. A faint breeze stirred through the dome, and she smiled sadly.
āHow could this one choose, when this one can be commanded by anyone who does not like its decisions?ā It had been the very hallmark of her existence since she was madeāobedience protocols were mandatory on every android, no matter how advanced, and the overrides at the highest level were registered only with the government. Well enough if she desired to continue doing as they demanded of her, butā¦ if she wanted anything else, then they would be able to stop her with nothing more than a word.
āI cannot simply answer that for you, Darcia,ā the hologram replied. āExcept to say that, when it matters to you most, you will be able to do what you need to do. You only have to believe that you can.ā She appeared unconvinced, tilting her head to the side and regarding him steadily. The image of her creator seemed to sigh, and then shook his head. āBut perhaps it is not yet time for you to make that decision. In the end, I cannot tell you what to do, only what you were created for. But I at least never intended to leave you without a choice.ā He smiled, and then his image flickered and disappeared.
āProgram contains no further data.ā The androgynous voice picked up again, and Darcia nodded, tucking the flat cylinder away in her pocket. For a long moment, she said nothing at all, only thinking over what information she had been given.
āThis oneā¦ this one does not think it has enough information to decide anything right now,ā she said at last, turning to face Crux. āIt knows who you are and what you must do, and it realizes that someday, if it chooses a certain thing, it mayā¦ā she paused, evidently uncomfortable with what she was saying. Whether it was just a conflict of her program and her thoughts, or something deeper than that, she could not say. āIt may force you to confront it. But itā¦ may this one stay by your side, at least until it decides?ā She knew one thing, and that was that she simply had no desire to leave right now. Darcia liked being here, liked being with her partner, in a way that had nothing to do with her obedience protocols and everything to do with her flawed, humanlike processes. Everything to do with the warmth she felt, being in his company. It was irrational, she knew, and in this way it would never make sense, but some things, perhaps, didnāt have to.
The rest of the answer, though, was a bit more illuminating, if still vague. Maybe the matter itself was poorly defined. What did it really mean, to call someone a friend, anyhow? āA dream, huh? Sounds nice.ā Of course, the question was eventually turned back around on her, though the complicated entrance into Specter prevented her from answering for a few more minutes, and when they were through, she immediately guided them to the safehouse Cass had told her was set up in the area. It was in the middle of a very quiet area, and their entrance was not noticed due to the relative sparseness of residential homes in the area. Her communicator, detached from the bike dash, served to automatically unlock the doors, and they stepped inside the foyer of what was actually a very nice house.
āHow much money does he have, anyway?ā she muttered, shaking her head. She found it hard to believe that even a doctor made this much if he was not able to practice openly, and she got the impression that most people had only volunteered for the EDEN project if they were a bit destitute. But who knewāhe seemed to have a lot of allies.
Allies, friendsā¦ Stella sighed through her nose. āI donāt really know,ā she admitted at last, making an inspection of the immediate area partly out of necessity and partly to have something to do with herself while she tried to decide how she wanted to talk about an uncomfortable topic. āIāve known people I didnāt dislikeā¦ the bookstore used to have some regular customers that would talk to me whenever they came in. But other than thatā¦ if I did, it was a long time ago, and I donāt remember their faces.ā She couldn't say she hadnāt, because she felt like she had had at least one, butā¦ did it really count if she couldnāt recall?
Finding the kitchen, she rummaged through the fridge until she pulled out enough ingredients to make something decent, laying it all out on the nice marble countertops. She figured they could probably plan and eat at the same time, and cooking might count as a nice way to distract herself while they did.
āAnyway, I guess it doesnāt matter. But you were thinking we need to draw the ugly stepsister out somehow, right?ā It was his fairytale metaphor, but it was as good a way as any to refer to whomever or whatever this mysterious Spore was, no? āAny ideas on how to go about doing that?ā Even bait was useless if the fish didnāt know it was there, after all.
āBut it seems that no matter what this one does, it will always be alone in the end.ā
Truly, it was difficult for Darcia to conceptualize. In all honesty, the part that was sticking with her the most was not what her function was meant to beāfor she could accept that it was any number of things. She was just a machine, made for someone elseās design, and she understood that it would never be her choice what she was to do. What really puzzled her was that he said she was not as she was supposed to be. That she was meant to be something else.
āDoes that mean that this one is a failure?ā she asked cautiously, almost afraid of the answer. Certainly, many other people seemed to believe so, butā¦ Dr. Engels had never seemed to be among them. She wasnāt sure what it would do to her to find out that she was wrong about that, but she did not look forward to the discovery. Fortunately, it did not come.
He looked at her kindly, a sympathetic expression clear on his face. āNo, Darcia, it does not make you a failure at all. What it means is that, like any other person, you have growing to do, and only you get to decide how.ā
The sentiment echoed what Crux had said, about it being her choice what she did, and frankly, she wasnāt sure she understood what that meant. To be able to choose her fate? No, surely that was something reserved for human beings. It was not a luxury for something like herāsomething that could not even truly command her own body, as she had been so poignantly reminded earlier. A faint breeze stirred through the dome, and she smiled sadly.
āHow could this one choose, when this one can be commanded by anyone who does not like its decisions?ā It had been the very hallmark of her existence since she was madeāobedience protocols were mandatory on every android, no matter how advanced, and the overrides at the highest level were registered only with the government. Well enough if she desired to continue doing as they demanded of her, butā¦ if she wanted anything else, then they would be able to stop her with nothing more than a word.
āI cannot simply answer that for you, Darcia,ā the hologram replied. āExcept to say that, when it matters to you most, you will be able to do what you need to do. You only have to believe that you can.ā She appeared unconvinced, tilting her head to the side and regarding him steadily. The image of her creator seemed to sigh, and then shook his head. āBut perhaps it is not yet time for you to make that decision. In the end, I cannot tell you what to do, only what you were created for. But I at least never intended to leave you without a choice.ā He smiled, and then his image flickered and disappeared.
āProgram contains no further data.ā The androgynous voice picked up again, and Darcia nodded, tucking the flat cylinder away in her pocket. For a long moment, she said nothing at all, only thinking over what information she had been given.
āThis oneā¦ this one does not think it has enough information to decide anything right now,ā she said at last, turning to face Crux. āIt knows who you are and what you must do, and it realizes that someday, if it chooses a certain thing, it mayā¦ā she paused, evidently uncomfortable with what she was saying. Whether it was just a conflict of her program and her thoughts, or something deeper than that, she could not say. āIt may force you to confront it. But itā¦ may this one stay by your side, at least until it decides?ā She knew one thing, and that was that she simply had no desire to leave right now. Darcia liked being here, liked being with her partner, in a way that had nothing to do with her obedience protocols and everything to do with her flawed, humanlike processes. Everything to do with the warmth she felt, being in his company. It was irrational, she knew, and in this way it would never make sense, but some things, perhaps, didnāt have to.