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that I was held like this? I can't remember
maybe, I was never held ever, if that was
the case, then what is this feeling that seems
to make me feel sad and then warm at the same
time, I don't hate it at all."
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His mind was still in a race inside a maze that never ends. But, somehow, it slowed down, enough for him to take a breath. Still, he was not in a state to fully recognized what was really going on in his surroundings. That's why he only focused on the sensations reaching him.
When that familiarity touching him vanished, it was soon replaced by a pat of understanding. He looked where it came from and there was that dwarf of a man-child who desires to break him. But, he didn't turn it away. He didn't... then it was gone too. The next thing he felt was a touch of gentleness that it felt like a sting to him. He flinched as it grazed his cheek, but like it had been earlier. He didn't turn away. His golden eyes looked at the cause and found amethyst orbs reflecting him.
"You abandoned us, Cai."
Those words echoed in his head as he finally spoke. "I didn't... I" Then, he was pulled into a hold that he could only describe as intimate before. But now, the scent of flowers enveloped him in a softness, he could only describe as comforting, so safe as words soothed his tumultuous mind. White tendrils of hair touched his face, like feather, it pulled him back. Then... "Rebel to your heart's content." This person, he had no idea who she is... yes she is a woman, but her words, it was what he needed to hear most.
That's why his hands that were hanging limply on his sides slowly moved. His hands gripped onto her back, the fabric of her clothes, gave a smoothness, he liked. Then, shakily, as if he was afraid of being pushed away, his grip tightened, and soon, he wrapped his arms around her, like a pillow that offered him comfort. This one though, had the scent of spring flowers and a warmth, so soothing. He felt safe in it. That's why he couldn't help but to close his eyes. His mind finally blanked out.
"Sweet dreams, Ai."
His name is Caius, but somehow, he felt that name is correct. Ah, he really doesn't want to think. For now, it felt right to accept this feelings. So for now, he would, even if he knew when he open his eyes again. He would push this away. He would snarl at the one who offered. He would reject it vehemently. But most importantly, be embarrassed, but for now, it's fine. Like that, he just allowed his consciousness to fade away.
"Don't... tell." Well, he had to rebel a bit, he finally slept.