Setting
A basic race track that resembles a number 8, but is much bigger. The first half will take place above the ground wilthe the last half leads to the underground. There are no gimmicks in the track. Regarding time trial, it takes about 5 laps to complete the course.
Minimap
northwest |
north |
northeast |
west |
You are here. |
east |
southwest |
south |
southeast |
Cosmos Speedway is a part of 
Ingenium.
11 Characters Here
Starlow [117] The representitive of the Star Sprites
Setsuna Kiyoura [117] The quiet tsundere
Wario [101] This greedy glutton is out to strike it rich!
Captain Falcon [100] F-Zero's enigmatic racer #07.
Giant Realistic Flying Tiger [88] HOW THE FUCK IS THIS POSSIBLE!?!!
Uncle Grandpa [88] He's everybody's uncle and grandpa!
Pit [88] This angel really rises to the occasion!
Thant [75] Just a guy who keeps on dying. And reincarnating. And dying. And reincarnating. You get the picture.
Quentel [74] Um... yarr! I'm a fighting machine! I'm totally perfect for the Techno Dome!
Zedrek, Daedra of Assassins [48] The Daedra of Assassins
Start Character Here »
- 120 posts here • Page 4 of 5 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
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"AAYYEE!!!" Luigi ejects himself from his car and forfeits the race. At least he's in a better ranking than dead last, "I don't believe it! I'm out of the race! Awww no...!!"
"Looks like a lot of racers are smashed to pieces. It's a shame." Moxxi looks disappointed, "I would love to see more carnage."
Meanwhile, a mobile phone in the sock train is ringing. Uncle Grandpa picks it up. "G'Morning! ...Oh, you're looking for "Sockie"? I already saved his life from a train wreck. Oh well. Here you go!" He hands the mobile phone to Sockie, "Well, my work here is done!" His propeller hat lifts him up despite his weight and flies away. The real Uncle Grandpa is still in the race.
"Looks like a lot of racers are smashed to pieces. It's a shame." Moxxi looks disappointed, "I would love to see more carnage."
Meanwhile, a mobile phone in the sock train is ringing. Uncle Grandpa picks it up. "G'Morning! ...Oh, you're looking for "Sockie"? I already saved his life from a train wreck. Oh well. Here you go!" He hands the mobile phone to Sockie, "Well, my work here is done!" His propeller hat lifts him up despite his weight and flies away. The real Uncle Grandpa is still in the race.
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"I ain't important right now. Just recently. your swordsman buddy just killed 200 of your citizens and peed on their corpses."
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"What? What?! WHAAAAAT?!" shouts Sockie. "... Wait, which swordsman buddy we talking about here? I know like a hundred."
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Wario's bike got blasted to bits by the missile, sending the fat man flying out of the track. "WAAAAAAAAH!!!" As a last-ditch effort, he hurled several Bob-ombs and gas bombs into Death's Head's vehicle. A few of them flew at the Lightning Chariot and Racer S, too.
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"Karasz brutally murdered 200 of my people?" questions Sockie. "Nah. He can be psycho sometimes, but not that psycho. There has to be a catch."
...
Death's Head's vehicle is severely damaged, and he quickly ejects out of it just as it explodes. The fly from earlier is caught in this blast and incinerated.
...
Death's Head's vehicle is severely damaged, and he quickly ejects out of it just as it explodes. The fly from earlier is caught in this blast and incinerated.
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"Your old arch nemesis Shu paid him to do it."
Racer S quickly dodges. She's in a lead and neck-in-neck with Uncle Grandpa and his Giant Realistic Flying Tiger.
Racer S quickly dodges. She's in a lead and neck-in-neck with Uncle Grandpa and his Giant Realistic Flying Tiger.
Pit keeps a grip on the Lightning Chariot's reins as its unicorns pull it away from the Bob-omb blasts. They then sprint ahead, gaining on Racer S, Uncle Grandpa, and Captain Falcon.
"The race is almost over," Moxxi announced, "The finish line is just a mile away. Who will the race? Will it be Racer S, Uncle Grandpa, Pit, or Captain Falcon?"
"I can't believe a lot of racers failed to keep up with themselves!" Ghost chuckled, "Y'know what, I bet you money that they're gonna do something with the winner by beating living bejesus out of their asses."
"That would be... interesting."
Meanwhile...
"He's about to leave Hellborne right after he rescued Alex. I don't know whether you think Karasz's doing good or doing bad! Either way, it's all up to you to decide what he did."
"I can't believe a lot of racers failed to keep up with themselves!" Ghost chuckled, "Y'know what, I bet you money that they're gonna do something with the winner by beating living bejesus out of their asses."
"That would be... interesting."
Meanwhile...
"He's about to leave Hellborne right after he rescued Alex. I don't know whether you think Karasz's doing good or doing bad! Either way, it's all up to you to decide what he did."
The Blue Falcon's Reactor Boost is currently cooling down, so he can't speed ahead of the other three just yet.
Pit hesitated using his bow at this point, unless the others pick a fight with him again.
Pit hesitated using his bow at this point, unless the others pick a fight with him again.
"Yeah, yeah. I think I'll ask him myself rather than trust the word of a complete stranger!"
Sockie then hangs up, and turns to Sockra and Brimstone.
"Well, we're out of the race, so who's up for a trip to Hellborne Valley?" asks Sockie.
"[color=orange]Thou doth not have to ask me twice![/color=orange]" replies Brimstone.
"Wait, why?" asks Sockra.
"Some guy just told me that Karasz killed a bunch of Sockonians under Shu's orders." explains Sockie. "I'd like to think Karasz isn't that much of a jerk, so let's find out what's going on!"
With that, the Sock Train drives out of the topic. (even despite its damaged wheels)
Sockie then hangs up, and turns to Sockra and Brimstone.
"Well, we're out of the race, so who's up for a trip to Hellborne Valley?" asks Sockie.
"[color=orange]Thou doth not have to ask me twice![/color=orange]" replies Brimstone.
"Wait, why?" asks Sockra.
"Some guy just told me that Karasz killed a bunch of Sockonians under Shu's orders." explains Sockie. "I'd like to think Karasz isn't that much of a jerk, so let's find out what's going on!"
With that, the Sock Train drives out of the topic. (even despite its damaged wheels)
Ignacious suddenly reappears in one of the speedway's bleachers, meanwhile; covered in bandages and wearing an arm cast, while eating popcorn with his undamaged one as he continues to watch the eventual conclusion of the race.
The Lightning Chariot and Blue Falcon are now neck-and-neck with the Giant Realistic Flying Tiger...!
"This is it, ladies and gentlemen," Ghost announced, "There's gonna be a photo finish! Will there be a three-way tie, or one of them will win?! The icarus, the blue racer, or that fruitball?! I can't handle the suspense! Here it comes! I can smell it! Engineer, record that dang moment! This is the moment of history! And... the... winner... is---"
"--aaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
Then the pod bowls through the chariot, the Blue Falcon, and the Giant Realistic Flying Tiger. It turns out to be Mr. Torgue who went through the finish line. Moxxi's jaw dropped in shock, and Ghost rubbed his eyes in disbelief. Torgue breaks the pod's door with his boot and emerges from the pod.
"THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!!! BRREEWWEEEWRREEWWEWWWW WEEEEOOOOWAAAAHHH!!!!"
"You have got to be fucking kidding me!!!" Moxxi exclaimed.
"That is the biggest plot twist I ever heard." Then Uncle Grandpa is there next to Moxxi, "How does he do it??"
"TORGUE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! YOU RUINING THE RACE!!" Moxxi screamed.
"--aaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
Then the pod bowls through the chariot, the Blue Falcon, and the Giant Realistic Flying Tiger. It turns out to be Mr. Torgue who went through the finish line. Moxxi's jaw dropped in shock, and Ghost rubbed his eyes in disbelief. Torgue breaks the pod's door with his boot and emerges from the pod.
"THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!!! BRREEWWEEEWRREEWWEWWWW WEEEEOOOOWAAAAHHH!!!!"
"You have got to be fucking kidding me!!!" Moxxi exclaimed.
"That is the biggest plot twist I ever heard." Then Uncle Grandpa is there next to Moxxi, "How does he do it??"
"TORGUE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! YOU RUINING THE RACE!!" Moxxi screamed.
"!!!" Captain Falcon almost veered right off the track with Torgue's entrance. He activated the emergency brakes on the Blue Falcon, skidding to a stop.
"Waaaaaugh!!" Pit almost lost control of Phos and Lux, who were startled by Torgue's pod. The chariot was sent careening through the sky with Pit hanging onto the reins for dear life.
"Waaaaaugh!!" Pit almost lost control of Phos and Lux, who were startled by Torgue's pod. The chariot was sent careening through the sky with Pit hanging onto the reins for dear life.
Since Torgue came in first despite not actually being entered in the race, literally everyone in the audience has lost money. They all boo, loudly and violently, and hurl various objects onto the racetrack.
"ARGGHH JESUS CHRIS-- *cans.wav*" Ghost raged, "I CAN'T BELIEVE NOBODY WON THE BET BECAUSE OF F$RITOGK<EA:{G!-- *cans.wav* THAT"S IT!! I'M DONE!! I'M DONE!!! STICK A FORK IN ME I'M-- *cans.wav*"
"THIS RACE IS RIGGED!!" said one commoner.
"WE LOST ALL OF OUR MONEY!" complained the second.
"I wasted my life savings for this race... My family is going to die and it's all my fault... Fuck this... FUCK THIS WORLD!!" the third one committed suicide.
"NO! NO! NO!!" Moxxi bangs the table, "Torgue, you musclebounded idiot! Because of you, nobody won the bet!"
"THAT'S IT!! EVERYONE, DESTROY EVERYTHING! THIS EVENT DESTROYED OUR LIVES!!!!!!!!" Then the audience became the raging riot as they break out of the stands and began destroying everything in their path, "NO SURVIVORS! KILL EVERYBODY!!! MAKE THEM SUFFER!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" The enraged mob demolished the roads, break the obstacles, and set everything on fire. As for the retired racers, they escape their way to safety.
"Is it too late to have a rematch?" Uncle Grandpa asked.
"I don't think so, Uncle Grandpa," Uncle Grandpa's fanny pack spoke.
"Everybody, follow me!" Starlow leads the racers to safety, "Jeez, I knew this event would end this way..."
"Aww hoo hoo..." Luigi groaned, "I guess racing didn't work out for me after all."
"Don't be hard on yourself, Luigi. Sure you may not be the best, but seeing you race makes you one of the best."
"Yeah, that's true."
"THIS RACE IS RIGGED!!" said one commoner.
"WE LOST ALL OF OUR MONEY!" complained the second.
"I wasted my life savings for this race... My family is going to die and it's all my fault... Fuck this... FUCK THIS WORLD!!" the third one committed suicide.
"NO! NO! NO!!" Moxxi bangs the table, "Torgue, you musclebounded idiot! Because of you, nobody won the bet!"
"THAT'S IT!! EVERYONE, DESTROY EVERYTHING! THIS EVENT DESTROYED OUR LIVES!!!!!!!!" Then the audience became the raging riot as they break out of the stands and began destroying everything in their path, "NO SURVIVORS! KILL EVERYBODY!!! MAKE THEM SUFFER!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" The enraged mob demolished the roads, break the obstacles, and set everything on fire. As for the retired racers, they escape their way to safety.
"Is it too late to have a rematch?" Uncle Grandpa asked.
"I don't think so, Uncle Grandpa," Uncle Grandpa's fanny pack spoke.
"Everybody, follow me!" Starlow leads the racers to safety, "Jeez, I knew this event would end this way..."
"Aww hoo hoo..." Luigi groaned, "I guess racing didn't work out for me after all."
"Don't be hard on yourself, Luigi. Sure you may not be the best, but seeing you race makes you one of the best."
"Yeah, that's true."
"This is bad..." Captain Falcon said to himself as he drove the Blue Falcon away from the track, sending an SOS signal to anyone of Haven's forces.
Wario tried to fight his way through the crowd, shoulder-tackling his way through. "Rrrrr! Get outta Wario's way, you crazy cuckoos!"
Wario tried to fight his way through the crowd, shoulder-tackling his way through. "Rrrrr! Get outta Wario's way, you crazy cuckoos!"
Trying to hit the angry crowd members only makes them hit back. The signal gets picked up and a voice crackles to life inside the Blue Falcon.
"This is Captain David Crane. State the nature of your emergency."
"This is Captain David Crane. State the nature of your emergency."
Ignacious, at the very least, seems to be enjoying all of this; kicking back in his seat within the bleachers as he watches the riot escalate - which is weird, in retrospect, as you would think the skeletal arsonist would be one of the first handful of people to head down there and start setting fires.
"This is Douglas Falcon," Captain Falcon said on the radio. "An incident has broken out in the stands at the Cosmos Speedway, and is escalating in severity! Backup may be required."
Meanwhile, Wario is in turn returning hits. "You can't out-a-muscle ME!"
Meanwhile, Wario is in turn returning hits. "You can't out-a-muscle ME!"
- 120 posts here • Page 4 of 5 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5