Setting
Spira Unplugged - Final Fantasy 10
A bustling seaside city. Cargo ships come and go here. It's also an ideal place for the wealthy to call home.
A bustling seaside city. Cargo ships come and go here. It's also an ideal place for the wealthy to call home.
Minimap
northwest |
north |
northeast |
west |
You are here. |
east |
southwest |
south |
southeast |
Solum City is a part of 
Fantasma.
2 Places in Solum City:
4 Characters Here
Lt. Marta Louise Velasquez [9] The world's most unpleasant traffic cop.
Clive Cypher/Shocker [1] The Eldritch Boyz' smartest hacker.
Kongo/Kongouseki [1] This kitsune is a fighter and gang leader hungry for money, power, and notoriety.
Aggaro Krahg/A-Krag [1] The Eldritch Boyz' strongest fighter.
Start Character Here »
At the local outdoor mall, the sound of gunfire rang out.
"Everyone, on the ground, NOW!"
Several robbers were present, about to pilfer all the money they can find here. The leader was waving his SMG, scaring everyone present into submission.
"Any one of you pricks even THINKS about speakin' or movin'...and you get the pistol-whip!" he shouted. No one dared respond...
"Pistol-whip? Dude, that's not very nice."
"Er...what - ?" The lead robber looked over to the source of the voice - it was a young man with shaggy black hair, his left hand obscured by a black glove. He was standing up, unlike everyone else.
"Really, man, let's think about this - is what you're doing at all smart?" the boy continued. "If you ask me, you guys are really into making stupid choices."
This brought out laughter among the crooks. "Ha! WE'RE the stupid ones? Look who's talkin', dumbass!"
The boy wasn't disheartened. He just took another step toward the leader, who quickly regained his composure and aimed his gun right at his face.
"Alright kid...maybe THIS will spell things out better for ya."
BANG!
He fired a shot right into the boy's chest. However...something was amiss. The boy didn't even seem like he was dying. No blood came out of the wound - just a thin blue mist.
"(?!) W...What the - ?!"
The boy grinned. "Like I said, you REALLY like making stupid choices." He spat the bullet out of his mouth as if it were a piece of gum. Needless to say, the robbers were somewhat unnerved by this.
"Uh...o-okay, I don't know what your deal is, kid...b-but we've got the bigger team here! You're still screwed!!" the leader stuttered.
"Me, screwed? Ha! Obviously, you clowns don't know me." With that, the boy removed the black glove from his left hand, unveiling a hand made of large white cloth strips, waving in the wind. One of the robbers panicked at the sight of it.
"Wh-What's that??" he panicked. With fear driving him, he yelled as he unloaded his SMG's belt at this paper-thin hand. All the holes he punched into it just sealed up just as fast. The boy smirked as he quickly weaved the hand to form what looks like a double-barrel shotgun. He pointed it at the robber and fired a spectral round from it, striking the robber back hard. He seemed to be twitching in agony.
"Y-You freak!!" Another two robbers came at the boy from both sides, wielding knife and gun respectively. The boy ducked under the knife swing and delivered a giant punch with his mummy-hand into the thug's chest, knocking him down. The other robber unloaded a shotgun round into the boy...but again, this had no fatal effect on him. It just made him spit up bullet shards. The robber was even more astonished than before.
"Hey, don't look so shocked," mused the boy, who shaped his mummy-hand like a cattle prod and punched it into the thief, delivering a spectral electrocution to him. He fell, shaking in pain.
The boy then turned to the lead robber, who had grabbed a woman by the neck and held his gun to her head. "What, you think you're hot stuff, huh?!" the robber shouted. "Some goddamn hero who's gonna save every damn life in this goddamn city?! YOU THINK THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE?!"
The boy's previous thrill had now dissolved into a stern glare. "Again with the stupid choices, huh..." he uttered. "Listen, if you shoot her - if you do any damage to ANYONE here...then may the heavens have mercy on your soul."
"Oh god, no~!" the lead robber said sarcastically. "I think I might slow your freakin' bleedin' heart by a mile - " He was cut off by a small twister suddenly appearing around him, spinning him and cutting him off from his hostage. The lady stumbled away from the robber as he got tumbled around the mini-twister and flung across the ground. When he looked up, his eyes widened in horror as the boy loomed over and grabbed him by the throat with his mummy-hand.
The boy then yanked the robber in closer, locking eyes with him. "I know I feel pain. What I wanna know...is do YOU?" he said darkly. His eyes sparked, sending a surge into the robbers' eyes and stimulating every moment ingrained in his memory, every time he did wrong and inflicted harm - it all flashed before his eyes quickly and repeatedly, sending a shock of anguish to his whole body in response to each different wound he dealt.
"N...NO! No, please - !! Please make it stop!!! {bawls}" The once-confident robber was reduced to a sniveling wreck, all because of his repressed guilt coming back to haunt him...for a very long time. The boy just dropped him onto the ground, letting him shake in horror. "Well, bro...you shoulda thought of that when you made your stupid choices."
His job done, the boy walked away from the mall, disappearing into the crowd forming outside as the police arrived. The agonized robbers were arrested, and the mall slowly returned to normalcy. Few are even sure of what they witnessed...
"Everyone, on the ground, NOW!"
Several robbers were present, about to pilfer all the money they can find here. The leader was waving his SMG, scaring everyone present into submission.
"Any one of you pricks even THINKS about speakin' or movin'...and you get the pistol-whip!" he shouted. No one dared respond...
"Pistol-whip? Dude, that's not very nice."
"Er...what - ?" The lead robber looked over to the source of the voice - it was a young man with shaggy black hair, his left hand obscured by a black glove. He was standing up, unlike everyone else.
"Really, man, let's think about this - is what you're doing at all smart?" the boy continued. "If you ask me, you guys are really into making stupid choices."
This brought out laughter among the crooks. "Ha! WE'RE the stupid ones? Look who's talkin', dumbass!"
The boy wasn't disheartened. He just took another step toward the leader, who quickly regained his composure and aimed his gun right at his face.
"Alright kid...maybe THIS will spell things out better for ya."
BANG!
He fired a shot right into the boy's chest. However...something was amiss. The boy didn't even seem like he was dying. No blood came out of the wound - just a thin blue mist.
"(?!) W...What the - ?!"
The boy grinned. "Like I said, you REALLY like making stupid choices." He spat the bullet out of his mouth as if it were a piece of gum. Needless to say, the robbers were somewhat unnerved by this.
"Uh...o-okay, I don't know what your deal is, kid...b-but we've got the bigger team here! You're still screwed!!" the leader stuttered.
"Me, screwed? Ha! Obviously, you clowns don't know me." With that, the boy removed the black glove from his left hand, unveiling a hand made of large white cloth strips, waving in the wind. One of the robbers panicked at the sight of it.
"Wh-What's that??" he panicked. With fear driving him, he yelled as he unloaded his SMG's belt at this paper-thin hand. All the holes he punched into it just sealed up just as fast. The boy smirked as he quickly weaved the hand to form what looks like a double-barrel shotgun. He pointed it at the robber and fired a spectral round from it, striking the robber back hard. He seemed to be twitching in agony.
"Y-You freak!!" Another two robbers came at the boy from both sides, wielding knife and gun respectively. The boy ducked under the knife swing and delivered a giant punch with his mummy-hand into the thug's chest, knocking him down. The other robber unloaded a shotgun round into the boy...but again, this had no fatal effect on him. It just made him spit up bullet shards. The robber was even more astonished than before.
"Hey, don't look so shocked," mused the boy, who shaped his mummy-hand like a cattle prod and punched it into the thief, delivering a spectral electrocution to him. He fell, shaking in pain.
The boy then turned to the lead robber, who had grabbed a woman by the neck and held his gun to her head. "What, you think you're hot stuff, huh?!" the robber shouted. "Some goddamn hero who's gonna save every damn life in this goddamn city?! YOU THINK THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE?!"
The boy's previous thrill had now dissolved into a stern glare. "Again with the stupid choices, huh..." he uttered. "Listen, if you shoot her - if you do any damage to ANYONE here...then may the heavens have mercy on your soul."
"Oh god, no~!" the lead robber said sarcastically. "I think I might slow your freakin' bleedin' heart by a mile - " He was cut off by a small twister suddenly appearing around him, spinning him and cutting him off from his hostage. The lady stumbled away from the robber as he got tumbled around the mini-twister and flung across the ground. When he looked up, his eyes widened in horror as the boy loomed over and grabbed him by the throat with his mummy-hand.
The boy then yanked the robber in closer, locking eyes with him. "I know I feel pain. What I wanna know...is do YOU?" he said darkly. His eyes sparked, sending a surge into the robbers' eyes and stimulating every moment ingrained in his memory, every time he did wrong and inflicted harm - it all flashed before his eyes quickly and repeatedly, sending a shock of anguish to his whole body in response to each different wound he dealt.
"N...NO! No, please - !! Please make it stop!!! {bawls}" The once-confident robber was reduced to a sniveling wreck, all because of his repressed guilt coming back to haunt him...for a very long time. The boy just dropped him onto the ground, letting him shake in horror. "Well, bro...you shoulda thought of that when you made your stupid choices."
His job done, the boy walked away from the mall, disappearing into the crowd forming outside as the police arrived. The agonized robbers were arrested, and the mall slowly returned to normalcy. Few are even sure of what they witnessed...
In the residential area, Alexander von Koopa headed home. It was a nice place - three floors, an extensive basement, gated off from the other houses. After all the adventures Alex has been on, and the many, many years he's (technically) been alive, he had a lot of money saved up and he had to spend it on something. Settling down in front of his computer, he pulled out a letter, handed to him by Toniyo Zaritoni...
Bl4<"K I)AT0oI\| 4 3\/eIR!11!!1! P.Z. 4L3X GEETZ Y0\/!!
Not exactly the pinnacle of grammar, but it seemed to be written so as to imply Alex was behind some crime or another - the theft of Toniyo's bow and arrows at the very least. While Alex knew he hadn't stolen anything, the police didn't, and Alex would be a prime suspect if this letter went public. So he decided to keep it hidden for now. Maybe do some detective work and present this to the police when he had more evidence. Alex cracked his knuckles, opened a Non-Trademarked Search Engine, and searched for anything related to the Black Platoon.
Bl4<"K I)AT0oI\| 4 3\/eIR!11!!1! P.Z. 4L3X GEETZ Y0\/!!
Not exactly the pinnacle of grammar, but it seemed to be written so as to imply Alex was behind some crime or another - the theft of Toniyo's bow and arrows at the very least. While Alex knew he hadn't stolen anything, the police didn't, and Alex would be a prime suspect if this letter went public. So he decided to keep it hidden for now. Maybe do some detective work and present this to the police when he had more evidence. Alex cracked his knuckles, opened a Non-Trademarked Search Engine, and searched for anything related to the Black Platoon.
One of the websites the search engine has found is "The Black Platoon Blog". Most of the websites found in the search engine are linked to morbid pornography, while some are just nerdy groups. The Black Platoon blog is not one of either, and this one is no stranger like the other. Starting from the bottom to top shows journal entries that the author named R.G.D. is planning on doing something dangerous that can harm the White Platoon with his cold bare hands.
Dear Blog,
My name is Ru-- I mean R.G.D. I am the founder of the Black Platoon. I used to be the other side of the Yin-Yang, but the other side was cruel. I was a humble worker at the White Platoon, and made friends over there. It was normal for me until they decide to treat me like a sack of shit. They don't have what I want, so instead they provided a substitute that caused me to have diarrhea! I hated that!... Doesn't taste better than the original formula. Years later, I continued to hold the title as the butt monkey of the team. I did everything I've done for them, but all I got from was pain. Nothing but pain! AND STILL NO ORIGINAL FORMULA! THAT SUCCULENT SWEET FORM....
Ggahh... I shouldn't say that out loud... I know that there are kids looking at this blog despite the fact that I set the age restriction to 18 years or older. Anyway, back to my original point.
While the Marshall officer Judas secured their base, I was eventually fired from their leader. I ended up at the Rusty Slums, and I had found my mentor who promised me power- OH BUT THAT WAS SHORT LIVED.... So... I decided that it was best for me to turn to the dark side.
Now I had gone from the White Platoon to the Black Platoon. But not before some crazy bimbo took everything I got... I was eventually wiped out thanks to her sharp dagger. That hurt... a lot. Perhaps I did not plan this through... I ended up in the deepest parts of the ocean in the shores of Haven... But what my corpse had found was... power... It helped me rebuild what I started before, so I can try again.
And this time, it's personal. The White Platoon will rue the day that they messed with Ru... I mean-- R.G.B.!!!
My secret base is complete, and it took me-- DARGGHHHH!!! It collapsed again, goddamn it! I was so close!!! I'll be back later... Maybe days or two.
Okay, I finally got the secret base up and running. And I finally got my vending machines in place... Wait, those are not the ones I want... SWITCH IT BACK! ...Gripes, I had to deal with morons that I hired from Thugs-4-Less. I gave them I.O.U.s so they will think that I will give them the money, which it will not happen..... okay, I have no money to pay them back, but who cares? They are not getting one coin out of me anyway--- wait.
WHY AM I STILL TYPING THIS?!! NO WAIT- DON'T Tonmtkhelhneakl;hgadfg;'saghahgfmda;hlma''
Okay.. I just switched from Windows to Linux because Windows kept freezing on me. Anyway, with my secret base and my hired marauders, There is only one thing left to do: put my plan into action!
Oh, I can't wait to see the look on my so-called best friends' faces. They will be so scared that they will wet themselves in public and people will start laughing at them-- Oh wait... they don't laugh at dead bodies... right? That's how it works? Forget it.. Just... start the plan... yeah.
- Day 01 - - Posted by R.G.D -
Dear Blog,
My name is Ru-- I mean R.G.D. I am the founder of the Black Platoon. I used to be the other side of the Yin-Yang, but the other side was cruel. I was a humble worker at the White Platoon, and made friends over there. It was normal for me until they decide to treat me like a sack of shit. They don't have what I want, so instead they provided a substitute that caused me to have diarrhea! I hated that!... Doesn't taste better than the original formula. Years later, I continued to hold the title as the butt monkey of the team. I did everything I've done for them, but all I got from was pain. Nothing but pain! AND STILL NO ORIGINAL FORMULA! THAT SUCCULENT SWEET FORM....
Ggahh... I shouldn't say that out loud... I know that there are kids looking at this blog despite the fact that I set the age restriction to 18 years or older. Anyway, back to my original point.
While the Marshall officer Judas secured their base, I was eventually fired from their leader. I ended up at the Rusty Slums, and I had found my mentor who promised me power- OH BUT THAT WAS SHORT LIVED.... So... I decided that it was best for me to turn to the dark side.
Now I had gone from the White Platoon to the Black Platoon. But not before some crazy bimbo took everything I got... I was eventually wiped out thanks to her sharp dagger. That hurt... a lot. Perhaps I did not plan this through... I ended up in the deepest parts of the ocean in the shores of Haven... But what my corpse had found was... power... It helped me rebuild what I started before, so I can try again.
And this time, it's personal. The White Platoon will rue the day that they messed with Ru... I mean-- R.G.B.!!!
- Day 04 - - Posted by R.G.D -
My secret base is complete, and it took me-- DARGGHHHH!!! It collapsed again, goddamn it! I was so close!!! I'll be back later... Maybe days or two.
- Day 07 - - Posted by R.G.D -
Okay, I finally got the secret base up and running. And I finally got my vending machines in place... Wait, those are not the ones I want... SWITCH IT BACK! ...Gripes, I had to deal with morons that I hired from Thugs-4-Less. I gave them I.O.U.s so they will think that I will give them the money, which it will not happen..... okay, I have no money to pay them back, but who cares? They are not getting one coin out of me anyway--- wait.
WHY AM I STILL TYPING THIS?!! NO WAIT- DON'T Tonmtkhelhneakl;hgadfg;'saghahgfmda;hlma''
- Day 20 - - Posted by R.G.D -
Okay.. I just switched from Windows to Linux because Windows kept freezing on me. Anyway, with my secret base and my hired marauders, There is only one thing left to do: put my plan into action!
Oh, I can't wait to see the look on my so-called best friends' faces. They will be so scared that they will wet themselves in public and people will start laughing at them-- Oh wait... they don't laugh at dead bodies... right? That's how it works? Forget it.. Just... start the plan... yeah.
Okay this is unnerving. Alex knew of Rule 34, but the sheer volume and variety of porn based on him and his friends was disturbing. Fan clubs he could get, but apparently there were people who... with a melon? That's going to haunt his nightmares.
Oh, and there was the blog. The ramblings of a crazy person. One who still thought "the Yin-Yang" was cool slang. The name sounded familiar but you never could tell - there were like three people on the porn sites claiming to be Teh_Relz_Axelhandl. As Alex recalled, the White Platoon had all sorts of interns back in its heydey, since Patches couldn't handle cleaning and managing everything, but no one he remembered giving diarrhea to. Even if that was true that was hardly Alex's fault.
Maybe that's why no complaint letter was filed. The White Platoon had no way of reimbursing this guy for an injury that wasn't even their own fault. Anyway, he seemed to be religiously obsessed, comparing one of the members of the White Platoon to the biblical Judas. They had so many enemies, who could they have betrayed so badly that they'd set up a blog about it? And of course his time was short lived. Alex hadn't even heard about it. Still, the idea that a Black Platoon exists is disconcerting, especially with no active Platoon to counter it. Shame about the dude getting robbed by some whore, but those are everywhere in Rusty Slums. He should have seen it coming. Wait... was that something about coming back from the dead? This isn't good. Alex made a note to search for anything RGB (or RGD) related as soon as possible as he moved on to future blog posts.
He's got a secret base? Not so secret if he's posting about it on the internet. Apparently he built it on a swamp. Those are notorious for having castles and bases sink into them. Even after he got it running he apparently wasn't satisfied, quickly turning this into one of those blogs where someone whines about their life. Irritating at the very least, but this one was personal. This one sent a letter out, possibly to frame Alex.
On the last blog entry he started rambling about some kind of master plan - to kill the former members of the White Platoon. This was not good. This was not good in the slightest. Whoever this RGB, or RGD, was, he was confident enough to post about his plans online, where the world can see them - and with hired marauders he likely has the strength to back up that confidence. Alex opened a new tab, searching for RGB and finding mostly rhymes about Roy G. Biv, before thinking of a different idea. This wasn't enough to bag him - he'd need something more concrete, like a location the police could go to arrest him.
Alex made an account on the website - "Teh_Reel_Axelman3872" - and set about writing a comment to the latest blog post.
:O what a c00l plan *winking emoticon* seems so awesome :) id <3 2 b part ofit wanna meet hon? a/s/l?
Perfect. Now to wait for his response. In the meantime, this Roy G. Biv character sounded mighty suspicious...
Oh, and there was the blog. The ramblings of a crazy person. One who still thought "the Yin-Yang" was cool slang. The name sounded familiar but you never could tell - there were like three people on the porn sites claiming to be Teh_Relz_Axelhandl. As Alex recalled, the White Platoon had all sorts of interns back in its heydey, since Patches couldn't handle cleaning and managing everything, but no one he remembered giving diarrhea to. Even if that was true that was hardly Alex's fault.
Maybe that's why no complaint letter was filed. The White Platoon had no way of reimbursing this guy for an injury that wasn't even their own fault. Anyway, he seemed to be religiously obsessed, comparing one of the members of the White Platoon to the biblical Judas. They had so many enemies, who could they have betrayed so badly that they'd set up a blog about it? And of course his time was short lived. Alex hadn't even heard about it. Still, the idea that a Black Platoon exists is disconcerting, especially with no active Platoon to counter it. Shame about the dude getting robbed by some whore, but those are everywhere in Rusty Slums. He should have seen it coming. Wait... was that something about coming back from the dead? This isn't good. Alex made a note to search for anything RGB (or RGD) related as soon as possible as he moved on to future blog posts.
He's got a secret base? Not so secret if he's posting about it on the internet. Apparently he built it on a swamp. Those are notorious for having castles and bases sink into them. Even after he got it running he apparently wasn't satisfied, quickly turning this into one of those blogs where someone whines about their life. Irritating at the very least, but this one was personal. This one sent a letter out, possibly to frame Alex.
On the last blog entry he started rambling about some kind of master plan - to kill the former members of the White Platoon. This was not good. This was not good in the slightest. Whoever this RGB, or RGD, was, he was confident enough to post about his plans online, where the world can see them - and with hired marauders he likely has the strength to back up that confidence. Alex opened a new tab, searching for RGB and finding mostly rhymes about Roy G. Biv, before thinking of a different idea. This wasn't enough to bag him - he'd need something more concrete, like a location the police could go to arrest him.
Alex made an account on the website - "Teh_Reel_Axelman3872" - and set about writing a comment to the latest blog post.
:O what a c00l plan *winking emoticon* seems so awesome :) id <3 2 b part ofit wanna meet hon? a/s/l?
Perfect. Now to wait for his response. In the meantime, this Roy G. Biv character sounded mighty suspicious...
A reply comes up on the blog post.
I did not know the girls are into my evil schemes! Oh god, uhh... I'm [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/[REDACTED] What about you, and where should we meet?
I did not know the girls are into my evil schemes! Oh god, uhh... I'm [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/[REDACTED] What about you, and where should we meet?
Excellent. This should be proof enough.
ill com 2 ur place! ull no me wen u see me *winking emoticon*
Having posted that comment, Alex printed out the blog and the comments section. Now if he could just get the print-outs to an officer, any officer...
He remembered hearing some sirens earlier. Something about clean-up of a bank robbery gone wrong. Alex shut down the computer and ran out, heading for the market and passing by... some local skater kid. Into neo-funk soul things, Egyptian something or other. Alex didn't recall any reincarnations around Egypt and didn't particularly want to look into it, lest he become a skater kid, too. Waving briefly, Alex rushed past the kid, heading towards the market, clearly in a hurry.
ill com 2 ur place! ull no me wen u see me *winking emoticon*
Having posted that comment, Alex printed out the blog and the comments section. Now if he could just get the print-outs to an officer, any officer...
He remembered hearing some sirens earlier. Something about clean-up of a bank robbery gone wrong. Alex shut down the computer and ran out, heading for the market and passing by... some local skater kid. Into neo-funk soul things, Egyptian something or other. Alex didn't recall any reincarnations around Egypt and didn't particularly want to look into it, lest he become a skater kid, too. Waving briefly, Alex rushed past the kid, heading towards the market, clearly in a hurry.
While walking away from the market, Andy got his mummy-hand gloved again. "Hoo boy...With some new overlord wannabe ranting online and shooting stars falling everywhere, people just don't need more trouble. Really glad that's done with."
Before Alex can get too far, he comes across a woman in uniform, making sure no one gets through the cordoned-off robbery scene.
"Excuse me, officer..."
Alex struggled to look at her badge.
"Velasquez, short stuff."
"Officer Velasquez," said Alex, ignoring the short crack. "Can you help me with something?"
"Are you or someone else on fire or bleeding out?" asked Velasquez.
"No..." said Alex.
"Are you a felon trying to turn yourself in?" asked Velasquez.
"No, but-"
"Then beat it before I arrest you for interfering with police work," said Velasquez, rather rudely brushing Alex off.
Alex looked back at the skater kid, who was wrapping up his mummy hand. Suddenly he had an idea why the bank robbery failed. Maybe the police would listen to someone who did their job for them.
"Be right back," said Alex.
"I'll count the seconds," mouthed off Velasquez.
With that, Alex began to follow Andy...
"Excuse me, officer..."
Alex struggled to look at her badge.
"Velasquez, short stuff."
"Officer Velasquez," said Alex, ignoring the short crack. "Can you help me with something?"
"Are you or someone else on fire or bleeding out?" asked Velasquez.
"No..." said Alex.
"Are you a felon trying to turn yourself in?" asked Velasquez.
"No, but-"
"Then beat it before I arrest you for interfering with police work," said Velasquez, rather rudely brushing Alex off.
Alex looked back at the skater kid, who was wrapping up his mummy hand. Suddenly he had an idea why the bank robbery failed. Maybe the police would listen to someone who did their job for them.
"Be right back," said Alex.
"I'll count the seconds," mouthed off Velasquez.
With that, Alex began to follow Andy...
This gives Alex ample time to catch up to Andy.
"Hey..."
It was right about now that Alex realized that he didn't know the kid's name. That might be a problem.
"Skater boy. Mummy kid. King Tut."
Surely he'd respond to at least one of those.
"Can I get your help with something? I'm having issues with the police and thought you could sort them out."
"Hey..."
It was right about now that Alex realized that he didn't know the kid's name. That might be a problem.
"Skater boy. Mummy kid. King Tut."
Surely he'd respond to at least one of those.
"Can I get your help with something? I'm having issues with the police and thought you could sort them out."
"Eh - ?" Andy did respond to Alex's call, but was a bit alert on the "mummy kid" part. "What is it? A...And where'd you get 'mummy kid' from?"
After hearing what Alex wanted, Andy was even more surprised. "T-The police?? {nervous} Er...with...?"
After hearing what Alex wanted, Andy was even more surprised. "T-The police?? {nervous} Er...with...?"
"Don't you have the hand thing that's all bandaged?" asked Alex. "Or did I see that wrong? ... Look, that's not the point. There's this one officer who's being a bitch and I thought she'd listen to you before listening to me. I need to get some important documents to officials and she's like HURR DURR NO YOU'RE SHORT and won't pay any attention."
"!!!" Andy was nervous that Alex saw that! "Oh...uhhh...well... {sigh} Okay...might as well give it a shot. Not sure if she'll like the methods I used..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know, I am short," said Alex, not seeming to get it. "It's genetics, okay? Not all of us are blessed with puberty! Now are you gonna help or not?"
"Great! Come on!"
With that, he led Andy back to Velasquez.
"Don't you have some houses to trick-or-treat at, kid?" asked Velasquez.
"I'll just pretend you didn't say that and that you are, in fact, a classy lady," said Alex. "Anyway, I brought over a friend, since you don't seem to want to listen to me! Tell the nice lady my story!"
A brief, awkward pause.
"My story is that I have these and the police need to look at them," whispered Alex, handing the printouts to Andy.
With that, he led Andy back to Velasquez.
"Don't you have some houses to trick-or-treat at, kid?" asked Velasquez.
"I'll just pretend you didn't say that and that you are, in fact, a classy lady," said Alex. "Anyway, I brought over a friend, since you don't seem to want to listen to me! Tell the nice lady my story!"
A brief, awkward pause.
"My story is that I have these and the police need to look at them," whispered Alex, handing the printouts to Andy.
Andy almost flinched when he came face-to-face with Velasquez. "Um...uh...hi there!" Andy said, nervously. "So listen, the turtle-guy has some things to show...erm... {to Alex} What are they about again?"
"They're proof of some supervillain plotting to murder people, and his location," whispered Alex.
"I'm standing right here," said Velasquez.
"And doing a heck of a job doing that!" said Alex. "Whether or not you're doing anything else worthwhile remains to be seen!"
"I'm standing right here," said Velasquez.
"And doing a heck of a job doing that!" said Alex. "Whether or not you're doing anything else worthwhile remains to be seen!"
"Ah, right. {to Velasquez} ...to show some stuff he found on some crazy new supervillain," Andy continued with oblivious pride.
Velasquez takes the printouts, looks at them incredibly quickly, and hands them back.
"Good for him," said Velasquez.
"What? But-" said Alex. "But doesn't the police usually need evidence of this kind of stuff?"
"Kid, I'm a traffic cop," said Velasquez. "This isn't my department."
"Then can you hand it over to someone who handles supervillains?" asked Alex.
"SUPERHEROES handle supervillains," said Velasquez. "And you're a superhero, aren't you?"
"No, I'm retired-"
"You people can retire? How super," snarked Velasquez. "But your new supervillain isn't my problem. Go bug someone else before I charge you with interference with police duty."
"Good for him," said Velasquez.
"What? But-" said Alex. "But doesn't the police usually need evidence of this kind of stuff?"
"Kid, I'm a traffic cop," said Velasquez. "This isn't my department."
"Then can you hand it over to someone who handles supervillains?" asked Alex.
"SUPERHEROES handle supervillains," said Velasquez. "And you're a superhero, aren't you?"
"No, I'm retired-"
"You people can retire? How super," snarked Velasquez. "But your new supervillain isn't my problem. Go bug someone else before I charge you with interference with police duty."
"Hmmm..." Andy thinks a sec while scratching his head with his mummy-hand. "Guess he's bugging me, then. {to Velasquez} Uh...thanks for your time, er...Good work!" He's ready to follow Alex.
Alex heads off, just about ready to give up, when he faintly hears Andy saying something about bugging him.
"Yeah, sorry to bug you, dude," called back Alex. "You can go back home or whatever you were doing if you want."
"Yeah, sorry to bug you, dude," called back Alex. "You can go back home or whatever you were doing if you want."
"Oh, I wasn't really up to anything!" Andy replied. "And if this is the same goon that's been ranting around the 'net...You wouldn't believe how much spam people get from his crony-advertising. It's annoying!"
"If you insist, dude," said Alex, handing the printouts to Andy. "These are printouts of his rants - more than enough evidence to put this moron away. Plus in the comments section he gave away his location. Do it for spam boxes everywhere, man."