Introduction

I'll Stay By Your Side

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Tanaka Kenta has always considered his popular, attractive, and ridiculously perfect classmate Yamada Naoki his rival. Whether it be coming in second by one point in class ranking, winning the second place award in a race by several seconds, or the blatant fact that he has no friends while Yamada has all of them, Tanaka can't help but despite the guy for all he is, despite admiring him. XX
When the girl Tanaka likes openly confesses to Yamada in class, all Tanaka's self-restraint on thought disappears, and he silently wishes for Yamada to find his end, if only to not be so annoying. XX
But then Yamada misses school the next day. And the next. And then the school gets news that he'll be in the hospital for a while. XX
Tanaka instantly thinks back to his anger the day before, fearing that his cursing may have caused Yamada to die an early death. In an effort to make up for this, Tanaka volunteers to go when the teacher asks someone to take Yamada his homework. From then on, he returns to the hospital every day to visit Yamada. He even quits the volleyball club to make more time for the cripple. XX
What started as an attempt at redemption slowly turns into much more, and as Yamada's condition worsens, Tanaka begins to fear that the one person he's finally come to love will be taken away. XX

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Kyoto, Japan by cl.love

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Kyoto, Japan

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#2017-09-13 03:18:59, as written by cl.love

- TANAKA KENTA -

Accept me, support me, even if only a little. ✘ ✘ ✘

"Kenta! Breakfast is ready, you're going to be late for school if you don't leave soon. Did you oversleep?" Kenta hears his mother call from the hall outside his door. He goes through his bag, triple-checking to make sure he has everything he needs for the day. Including a pack of sakura mochi he'd made himself the night before, long after his mom had disappeared into her room to write until the wee hours of the morning, carefully boxed and wrapped in yellow paper. XXX
"No, mama, I'm fine. Just...fine. I'm fine." He answers, throwing his bag over his shoulder and leaving his room. His mother shoots him a suspicious glance as he takes a seat across from her at the table, setting his bag down beside him as gently as he possibly could. "...are you sure? You seem a bit out of it." "Yes, I'm sure." "But you'll tell me if there's something bothering you, right?" "Of course." XX
They went through breakfast without broaching the topic again. One thing he loved about his mother was that she never pushed, never pried. Kenta figured it was largely because she was simply too perceptive to truly need all the small details in order to know something. Breakfast finished and Kenta left, having to come back at the bottom of the apartment staircase to retrieve his forgotten lunch box from his mother's waiting hands. "I'm not saying anything." "Thanks." XX
All the way to school, Kenta's headphones block out noise from the rest of the world, though no music was pumping through them. He was too lost in thought to truly notice. What if he was rejected? What if he chickened out? What if she wasn't even in school today? The negative possibilities were endless, but Kenta shoved the doubt out of his mind and focused on getting to school. Step one. XX
Kenta's plan to finally (FINALLY) confess his attraction toward Suzuki Chinami, the only person in their class who had ever actually made an attempt to talk to be his friend (which he'd obviously ruined) was going relatively well, as far as preparation counts. He had it all mapped out- had made mochi especially for her, having overheard how much she liked it. Now he was simply waiting at his desk for her to walk through the door and take her seat at the desk next to his. XX
And then she does, taking Kenta completely by surprise. The long hair he had always admired on her was now cut short, just below her jawline, and the pair of glasses he'd once discovered were the same ridiculously high prescription as his own were gone, replaced with contact lenses. He only recognized her by the baby pink sakura flower pin she still wore in her hair, right above her ear. XX
Kenta goes to stand, to greet her. But then Yamada Naoki walks in. And, of course, nothing can go right for Tanaka Kenta when Yamada Naoki is present. XX
"Yamada-kun!" Suzuki yells, alerting the entire classroom to her and Yamada. Kenta sinks back into his chair. "I've liked you for a while now, and would very much appreciate if you would give me a chance and go out with me tonight!" XX
The classroom bursts into an uproar, and Kenta tunes them out, turning his jazz playlist all the way up so all he hears is the thrumming in his ears. Of course she would like Yamada instead. Everyone likes Yamada, and no one likes Kenta. How could he have expected anything different? It was just silly. He stares up at the white tiles of the ceiling and sighs. Why can't Yamada just disappear? XX

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2017-09-13 14:39:44, as written by Arrow-

- YAMADA NAOKI -

✘ ✘ ✘ A goodbye when you hold back your tears and smile is lonely, isn't it?

iiiXii Theme: Secret Base by Mes (Cover)
XiiiiiiXXXii. FC: Hazuki Nagisa | Free!
Xi Dialogue : #F67280 | Thought : #F8B195X
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"Time to wake up Naoki-chan." Naoki hears whispered in his ear in the early morning. He rolls over to see the face of Hinami, an older lady with big smile lines and greying hair who has been taking care of Naoki since he was young. A smile spreads across his face when he sees her. "Good morning." He mumbles tiredly as he rubs his eyes and sits up slowly. Hinami giggles at him and pats his bedhead. "You never wake up this late, are you feeling okay dear?"
Naoki pauses and scratches his head. Now that he thought about it, he had been feeling rather weird last night, so he had went to sleep early. Now that he woke up he felt groggier than usual. He hoped he wasn't getting sick... He didn't want to inconvenience anyone or cause anyone else to get sick. "I'm fine." He said, waving away her concern with a big grin and cheerful eyes. "Well good!" She quips and pinches his cheeks. "Get ready for school and come have breakfast."
Naoki is quick to do as Hinami says, showering and getting dressed for school. Somehow though, he still can't shake the groggy feeling in his head. Why does he feel so off today? Its like his body almost feels... Weaker? Was that even possible? He dismisses the thought as he plops down at the breakfast table and is presented a traditional Japanese breakfast of miso soup, rice, fish and a variety of side dishes.
Despite Harumi's humming and singing as she does dishes and prepares his bento, Naoki's breakfast is a quiet affair and he can't help but be thankful. Today he feels less like himself, and isn't sure he can keep up with conversation as well as usual. Before he heads out the door, he gives the old lady a hug and tucks his bento away in his bag.
The ride to school is uneventful as always, his personal driver didn't bother making conversation, and even if he did, Naoki was too zoned out to listen. Instead, he stared out the glass until the school gates came into view. He bid his driver a quick farewell and headed off to his classroom. As usual, Naoki was stopped along the way multiple times by girls and boys wanting to ask him questions or talk to him. He would smile politely and give quick responses before moving along. It was often like this. Ever since Naoki had entered school he had been the centre of attention; one of the popular kids. When he entered high school and gained more mature looks, he was dubbed the King of his school. Due to this, he often had a plethora of people trying to gain his attention. He had never particularly wanted any of this attention... It had just ended up happening.
"Yamada-kun!" Naoki snapped out of his daze when he heard someone yell his name. He looked around and noticed there was a girl staring at him with a big blush on her face, shifting nervously. The whole class noticed her too. Her name was Suzuki, if Naoki recalled correctly, he was only having a hard time because she looked a lot different than she had previously. "I've liked you for a while now, and would very much appreciate if you would give me a chance and go out with me tonight!"
Oh. Another confession. Naoki wasn't conceited enough to say that this happened often, but occasionally he got confessions from girls... And the answer was always the same. "I'm sorry, I'm not really interested in dating anyone right now." He said truthfully. Its not like he didn't want to date someone, he just hadn't found the right person yet. Besides, he barely knew this girl. He didn't want to end up like his parents, always apart.
He hated making girls cry, or anyone in general, so he patted her shoulder lightly and gave one of his big smiles. "I think I would want to get to know someone better before I date them anyways. Maybe we can have lunch one day, okay?" And somehow, his words charmed the tears right out of her eyes. A small smile pulled at her lips and her blush remained. "O-Okay." She stuttered, probably nervous with the fact he had just touched her.
He laughed softly and nodded to her before sitting down in his seat. The rest of the day flew by like most, they got test marks back that Naoki scored first in, he ate lunch with a group of random people who wanted to eat with him, he scored a few goals in basketball in gym class, but somehow, he still felt off. Maybe it was the way his fingers suddenly stopped moving when he was writing, or the fact that he stumbled a lot more in gym class, or even the fact that he couldn't stop staring off into space... But something wasn't right.
After school, Naoki went straight home, not wanting to give anyone his sickness if that was even possible. He would have to schedule an appointment with a doctor soon.
"How was class!?" Harumi called from the kitchen. Naoki could smell something cooking. "It was good. I'm just a bit tired... I'm going to go rest!" He called back. "Alright, I'll call you when dinner is ready!"
Naoki walked over to the stairs, but suddenly even walking felt like a hard task. His lungs burned as he struggled to breath, and his legs trembled as he climbed the stairs to his room. Was it just his imagination, or was his vision blurring? Why did his chest hurt so much? I really don't feel so goo-

x x x

Naoki winced when bright light flooded into his eyes. He looked around in confusion. This wasn't his room. In fact, this wasn't any room in his home.
"Oh sweetheart!" Harumi was suddenly there, clouding his vision from the bright lights. "Harumi?" He mumbled softly, "Where am I? What happened?" His mouth felt like sandpaper and his jaw ached. "Shhh." She hushed him. "Don't speak... Honey, we are in the hospital... You had an accident, well, a heart attack. The doctors want to do more testing. I'm sure its nothing though sweetie, just a fluke!"

Boy would she be wrong.

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2017-09-13 23:00:16, as written by cl.love

- TANAKA KENTA -

Accept me, support me, even if only a little. ✘ ✘ ✘

XXXii Theme: Zoetrope by Yanagi Nagi
Xi Dialogue : #B49B04 | Thought : #A57164
XXXXii. FC: Tsukishima Kei | Haikyuu!!X
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Kenta spends the rest of that day sourly tuning out most of the world, listening to the lectures and answering questions when asked, but ignoring the others in his class and any of the shenanagins they may be getting up to. He eats lunch by himself at his desk and studies his notes, pointedly avoids sneaking glances at Suzuki the way he usually does, pointedly avoids glaring at Yamada across the crowded classroom or in the halls or toilets or anywhere else they collide. XX
That night, he eats dinner with his mother through comfortable conversation as she shares her newest customer service stories, and he forgets all about Suzuki and Yamada and the unfortunate events of that morning, any frustration soon replaced with ease as he tells his mother about how he once again came in second place in class ranking only by one point. She pats his arm in sympathy. XX
He goes to bed with peaceful thoughts, and glances out his window in time to catch sight of a shooting star flying across the sky, as faint and far away as the memories of stargazing with his father. He doesn't think of that afternoon's wish. XX
The next morning begins in much the same manner as any morning in Kenta's life. He gifts the homemade sakura mochi to his mother, claiming it to be a gift in celebration of reaching the halfway point in her newest novel, which had yet to gain a title. He finishes his breakfast, remembers his lunch box, and goes to school with his headphones filtering an RLIFE mix to help tune out the world. XX
Absolutely nothing is out of order, not at first. Suzuki waves hello, Kenta waves absentmindedly back, avoiding her gaze. The teacher arrives, the class settles. XX
Then roll call sounds, and Yamada Naoki is the only student counted absent. XX
Kenta immediately thinks back to his wish the previous afternoon. 'Why can't Yamada just disappear?' He thinks back to that thought, to the shooting star. It couldn't have been just a coincidence, could it? 'There's no such thing as true coincidences- everything happens for a reason.' He hears his mother say. Guilt seeps into the deepest parts of his chest, and he struggles to breathe, gasping for air and reaching for a voice to tell him he's wrong, that it's not connected. XX
Reason starts to block out the guilt, or at least he decides to call it reason, and Kenta passes it off as nothing. Maybe Yamada is just late. Bullshit, he's never late. He must have just caught a cold or something. He'll be back tomorrow. XX
But the next morning, Yamada doesn't show up. Students begin to whisper, a few stretched theories float around the room. Guilt pools in Kenta's stomach, and he finds himself unable to concentrate, eyes drifting between Yamada's empty desk and the door he prays will slide open at any moment. It doesn't. XX
When Yamada doesn't show up the next day either, Kenta is close to panic. It definitely isn't a coincidence, not at this point. It isn't a cold, or a late morning. Something is wrong, and Kenta is convinced he's the cause. His gaze snaps from Yamada's still-vacant chair to the front of the room when the teacher clears his throat, a grave look on his face that has the guilt in Kenta's stomach making him want to retch up that morning's leftover curry all over the tile floor. XX
"I'm afraid Yamada-kun will not be returning to class. His parents have called the school to tell us he will be remaining in the hospital for an indefinite amount of time. They have not told us how he is sick, but I'm sure he will recover soon." XX
The classroom erupts into confused chatter and cries of disbelief, and Kenta stares blankly at the teacher, his stomach churning painfully and his thoughts screaming at him: It's my fault. The chaos only ceases when he hears sniffling beside him, and he turns to see Suzuki with her head in her hands, her tears carefully hidden but her whimpers unimpeded. He doesn't dare comfort her. XX
"Now, Yamada-kun will still be in need of graduating, so if anyone would like to volunteer to take him the class assignments and homework he's missing-" XX
"I'll go!" Kenta shouts without thinking. The entire class turns to look at him with wide eyes, including Suzuki, who quickly wipes away her tears and meets his gaze with an expression bordering on shock and confusion. "I...I live near the local hospital," He lies. "And I don't have any plans after school today," He lies again. "So it will be less inconvenient for me to visit him than someone else..." XX
The teacher doesn't question his logic, and speaks again before anyone can voice their suspicions about the most intimidating student in the school being the one to visit their resident "King" in the hospital. "Alright then. Tanaka-kun will go. Stop by the staff room after school and I'll give you the assignments then." XX
Kenta feels Suzuki's eyes on him often throughout the day, but he doesn't meet them, doesn't look away from the chalkboard or his textbook or notes. When the last bell of the day finally rings, he packs up his things in silence, forcing his thoughts to stay quiet. And then she's there, beside his desk, holding out a box of strawberry Pocky. Kenta squints down at her, not understanding the gesture. XX
"I was going to give this to Yamada-kun when he came back to school, but I'm afraid I don't have the courage to go to the hospital to give it to him myself. Would you mind giving it to him for me, please?" She asks, gently pressing the box into his hands. Kenta takes it and nods slowly, saying nothing. Suzuki smiles and bows politely, then turns to leave, their brief, one-sided conversation over. XX
Kenta tucks the box of Pocky into his bag and heads to the staff room, bowing before entering and retrieving Yamada's work from their homeroom teacher. He then heads to the gym to let his teammates and coach know he won't be showing up for practice, relaying them the news of Yamada's condition and why he won't be able to attend. They nod in understanding, and he leaves. XXX
The train ride to the local hospital takes about twenty minutes (he'd already passed by his home and his mother's day job on the way to the station) and by the time he actually gets there, half an hour has passed. He stops to chat with the woman at the front desk, explaining who he is and why he's there. He waits patiently as the woman calls her superior to confirm an email from the school, then fetches one of the nurses to lead him to Yamada's hospital room. XX
He stands idly outside the door, listening to the sound of machines beeping on the other side of the door. The nurse assures him Yamada is awake, and offers to go in first, but Kenta shakes his head, and she goes back to work. He digs through his bag and pulls out the box of Pocky, vaguely wondering if perhaps he should have brought a better gift than unfinished classwork. But what could he have brought? He doesn't know what Yamada likes, what he would want. XX
Kenta takes a deep breath, and slides the door open. "Excuse me...I brought you your homework, Yamada-ku-" He pauses. Too informal. "...Yamada-san." XX

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2017-09-14 02:36:01, as written by Arrow-

- YAMADA NAOKI -

A goodbye when you hold back your tears and smile is lonely, isn't it? ✘ ✘ ✘

iiiXii Theme: Secret Base by Mes (Cover)
XiiiiiiXXXii. FC: Hazuki Nagisa | Free!
Xi Dialogue : #F67280 | Thought : #F8B195X
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Three days. He had been in the hospital three full days. The first day had been confusing and disorienting. When he woke up he was told he had suffered from a heart attack due to tachycardia, or in normal people terms, a painfully fast heart beat. His caregiver had kept assuring him, that it was just a fluke, it was a one time deal and that it shouldn't possibly happen again. But that first day he went through so many tests; blood tests, full body xrays, urine tests, general check ups, you name it. Naoki could tell something was wrong if they were going to such an effort to figure out what was happening.
The second day, the doctors began to talk to him more. They explained that they had a few ideas of what was going on in his body, but they needed to run more tests, take more blood, more of his DNA. As if he hadn't already given enough. He felt tired all the time, and the pain he had been feeling before was replaced by a fuzzy, loopy feeling caused by the IV drip in his arms constantly pumping him full of drugs.
The third day was the day the disease, the beast that was plaguing his body, was finally given a name. In medical terms it was called Friedreich's Ataxia. The name itself didn't make much sense to Naoki, but the symptoms were that of what he had experienced before; fatigue, dizziness, clumsiness, heart pain and more. The scariest part of this disease is that the body's muscle slowly destroyed itself, making him weaker and weaker. In some cases people lost their ability to walk, talk and see. When Naoki asked doctors what they believed his chances of surviving were, they all went quiet. He supposed people with this disease didn't last long.
Despite it all though, the smile never left Naoki's face. Even in the face of death, Naoki couldn't wipe the smile off his face. "You can tell me the truth doctors. I have had a good life so far, if its my time to go, then its my time. At least this way I wont have to grow up and worry about paying taxes and a mortgage." He had joked and giggled, but when they were gone, Naoki leaned back in his bed, head aching. He scrunched up his eyes tightly, trying not to cry the tears that desperately wanted to escape. But then someone was there...
"Excuse me...I brought you your homework, Yamada-ku-" It was a deep voice, a man. He pauses for a moment before continuing. "...Yamada-san." The door slid open and Naoki looked over to see a tall blonde boy standing there awkwardly. Naoki grinned, he recognized him from class. He was the first person other than Harumi to come visit him. If he remembered correctly, his name was...
"Tanaka-san!" Naoki grinned and waved happily, but then pulled his arm away when he realizes that his pale white arm is a mess of purple bruises and gauze. He then realizes he must look terrible; he hasn't slept well in days, he hasn't eaten and his hair is a fluffy mess. He giggles and scratches the back of his head in embarrassment. "Sorry I look so unkept. I didn't think anyone would be visiting." He looks down at the boys hands to see a folder of papers that must hold his school work.
Naoki is almost overjoyed to see school work. It would give him something to take his mind off of the hospital and the ever present sickness that permeated the air there.

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2017-09-14 07:58:38, as written by cl.love

- TANAKA KENTA -

Accept me, support me, even if only a little. ✘ ✘ ✘

"Tanaka-san!" There was a short moment where Kenta was actually surprised Yamada knew his name, but then the surprise faded into something nameless. Of course Yamada knew him, Yamada knew everyone. And even if he didn't, Yamada was just so perfect of a person that it would be appalling if he didn't know the name of one of his classmates. It was just something to be expected. XX
Kenta paused to take in Yamada's appearance, and the guilt in the pit of his stomach reared once again, twisting his insides and making him sore. Yamada looked haggard, pale and even thinner than usual, dark circles under his eyes and blond curls matted slightly from sleep, as if he hadn't gotten a chance to brush his hair since being in the hospital. It's my fault he looks like this, isn't it? XX
"Sorry I look so unkempt. I didn't think anyone would be visiting." Kenta could hear the slight shake in Yamada's voice, something he'd never heard before. But Kenta had never caught him off guard before, either, so he couldn't hold it against the guy. The fact Yamada wasn't expecting any of his classmates to visit him made Kenta's heart sink of its own accord. "Don't be sorry, you're in a hospital. People don't let you do much self-care here, despite their purpose." XX
Kenta holds out the box of Pocky first, thinking a gift would be better to start with than arithmetic and English language. "Suzuki-san had me brings these for you, since she couldn't come herself. I think she's embarrassed, though she did send her regards." He says, sliding the door closed and taking a seat in the chair next to Yamada's uncomfortable-looking hospital bed. "Well, you haven't missed anything of importance while you've been gone. We just continued our novel study and prep for college exams at the end of the year. Boring things." XX
Standing once again (and feeling silly for having sat down when he knew plan wasn't to stay any longer than he had to) and setting the paper-clipped bundle of papers on the chair behind him, Kenta bowed deeply to Yamada. "I hope you recover quickly, Yamada-san." Avoiding eye contact, Kenta turns to leave, sliding the door open just enough to slip through. "Have a good night." XX
Kenta doesn't really remember how he ended up back in his own apartment, in his own bed- he was too lost in thought to have registered his surroundings at all. He shrugs out of his uniform and into his night clothes, waits patiently for his mother's shift to end, heats up their leftovers minutes before she gets home. XX
He stays silent throughout dinner, stuck in a repeating image of Yamada Naoki, pale and weak, sitting in a stiff hospital bed wearing clothes too big for his body, smiling like seeing Tanaka Kenta was the world's greatest blessing in that very moment. His mother says nothing, just watches him close, her eyes not leaving his own, though he hardly notices her relentless, unmoving stare. XX
Kenta excuses himself without having started any conversation, and slides to the floor against the back of his closed bedroom door, staring blankly at the bed his toes almost touch despite the entire room being between him and it. His mind once again flashes him with Yamada's face, the ominous words of their homeroom teacher that morning, suddenly realizing that he didn't know if Yamada was going to heal from whatever it was that had him in the hospital. XX
It's my fault. I know it is, it has to be. I wished for him to disappear. I wanted him to finally lose for once. And that shooting star decided to make it come true... XX

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2017-09-14 16:06:54, as written by Arrow-

- YAMADA NAOKI -

A goodbye when you hold back your tears and smile is lonely, isn't it? ✘ ✘ ✘

iiiXii Theme: Secret Base by Mes (Cover)
XiiiiiiXXXii. FC: Hazuki Nagisa | Free!
Xi Dialogue : #F67280 | Thought : #F8B195X
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"Don't be sorry, you're in a hospital. People don't let you do much self-care here, despite their purpose." Tanaka says, and Naoki can't help but laugh. He wasn't wrong. The nurses barely let him move without their watchful eye, so no doubt they wouldn't let him shower on his own or give him enough time to groom himself.
The exceedingly tall boy walks in, looking awkward, as if he knew he shouldn't be there. Naoki could understand that feeling. The next thing he knew though, there was a pink box of pocky shoved in front of his face. "Suzuki-san had me brings these for you, since she couldn't come herself. I think she's embarrassed, though she did send her regards." Naoki smiled and took the box gingerly. Someone had thought of him, and even though she hadn't come herself, she had still sent her best regards with the box. She was a sweet girl. "Thank you." Naoki mumbled quietly as he smiled at the box.
Tanaka took a seat beside him, looking uncomfortable in the small hospital chair. His legs hung awkwardly, and Naoki couldn't help but snicker silently to himself. It looked like a newborn giraffe trying to adjust to the much smaller world around it. It was kind of endearing, and... cute?
"Well, you haven't missed anything of importance while you've been gone. We just continued our novel study and prep for college exams at the end of the year. Boring things." Tanaka said, interrupting Naoki's train of thought. Oh yeah... Sometimes, even in this breif stay in the hospital, Naoki forgot that there was a whole other life he should be living, studying to prepare for college, hanging out with friends, doing normal teenager things. Naoki opened his mouth to ask something, but just as fast as Tanaka had come, he was on his way out. "I hope you recover quickly, Yamada-san. Have a good night." He bids as he slips from the door, leaving the homework behind on the chair. "You dont have to... leave..." Naoki calls after him, but he's already gone, and it already feels as if he was never there in the first place. Naoki couldn't blame him though. How many people would be comfortable coming into a hospital filled with dying people and seeing your own classmate looking as if he might not come out of the hospital either.
Naoki sighs, but its quickly replaced with a smile. At least someone came. He carefully leans over and scoops up the folder of papers that had been left behind. College prep, huh? ... I wonder if I'll make it to college. But despite the thought, Naoki opens up the folder, grabs a pencil and begins to write. Its a good distraction from the sickness of his situation.
That night Naoki sleeps a bit better than usual, and is even able to nibble down a few pieces of pocky before he falls under a drug induced sleep. The next morning, Naoki is wheeled around in his hospital bed, despite the fact he keeps protesting that he can walk on his own. He hasnt lost his ability to move yet. There is more testing, and more long speeches from doctors about a variety of new medications they want to put him on. Another talk about how they are uncertain of when he will be allowed to leave. Mentions of physical therapy to help retain his muscle strength as long as possible. And as always, lots of unanswered questions. By the end of the day, the refreshed feeling he had had was gone and left with a dull ache of emotional fatigue. He wondered just how long this was going to go on. He felt stir crazy and like his head might explode.
Naoki made the decision then that he really was in desperate need of getting some air. He slid from bed, pulling his IV stand along with him and went over to the door. He took a deep breath and hoped that no nurses were nearby to catch him, and yanked the door open. "Oh!" Naoki gasped in surprise when instead of a nurse standing there, it was Tanaka-san from the day before, standing there about to knock on the door. "Tanaka-san!" Naoki grinned brightly. "Bringing more homework?" Before the tall boy could answer, a nurse rounded the corner and spotted him. "Yamada-san! You know you aren't allowed to be walking around!" She gushed and started walking towards them.
Naoki's eyes widened and instinctively he took a hold of Tanaka's sleeve. "U-Uhm, I wasn't going to! I mean uhm... I was going to ask Tanaka-san here if he could push me in my wheelchair so I could go get fresh air." Naoki mumbled quickly. The nurse looked between the two of them and sighed. "Alright, only if your friend pushes you... And if you take the wheelchair." Naoki looked up at the tall boy with pleading eyes. He knew they werent very close, and the tall boy had every reason to say no and leave, but he just hoped and prayed that the boy would give in.

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2017-09-15 00:57:35, as written by cl.love

- TANAKA KENTA -

Accept me, support me, even if only a little. ✘ ✘ ✘

XXXii Theme: Zoetrope by Yanagi Nagi
Xi Dialogue : #B49B04 | Thought : #A57164
XXXXii. FC: Tsukishima Kei | Haikyuu!!X
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Kenta walks into the classroom with eyes unseeing, not paying attention to the world at all outside of his Illenium playlist and the instinctual spacial awareness that allowed him to zone out without crashing into things. Nobody so much as glanced in his direction as he walked in, and Kenta snapped out of tune-out-the-world trance to notice that simple fact. He was utterly shocked. Shouldn't people be lining up to hear the news about their so beloved King Yamada? XX
Yet, not a single person in the room made any indication they wanted to talk to Kenta, and throughout the morning, he didn't catch Yamada's name going around even once, aside from the few brief minutes of chatter with Suzuki. She made a point to talk to him before even sitting down at her desk, and Kenta almost felt relieved that at least one person seemed to care about Yamada. XX
When school ended, Kenta returned to the staff room and was given an even thicker bundle of papers to take to Yamada. "This is the remaining coursework for the rest of the month, so you won't have to keep coming here every day. I hope Yamada-kun can use this to pass the time while he heals." Their teacher said, smiling sympathetically. Kenta excused himself and tucked the packet carefully into his bag, not wanting it to get wet from the sudden rain outside. XX
Kenta held his umbrella over him as he walked to the train station, spending a majority of the trip wondering what gift the could possibly bring Yamada. He knew from Suzuki that the guy liked sweets, but constant sweets weren't going to help him recover. In the end, he stopped by a small food stall next to the station and bought a bowl of oyakadon to go, carrying the wooden carry-on box with both hands as gently as he could, walking extra slowly to make sure it didn't spill over in the twenty meters it took to get to Yamada's hospital room. XXX
When he finally arrived, the door opened of its own accord, and Yamada was there, standing in front of him, mouth dropped open as if he were surprised to see him there. "Tanaka-san!" "Good afternoon." Before either of them can say anything else, a nurse is rushing over to scold Yamada for standing. "You know you aren't allowed to be walking around!" She frowns, thoroughly chastising. XX
"U-Uhm, I wasn't going to! I mean uhm... I was going to ask Tanaka-san here if he could push me in my wheelchair so I could go get fresh air." Kenta didn't move his gaze from where Yamada was staring at him, wearing an expression that looked so much like desperation it made Kenta uncomfortable seeing it on Yamada's face. He listened to the nurse's orders to use a wheelchair and nodded, not wanting to blow Yamada's chances at an escape. "Of course." XX
Setting the oyakadon box carefully onto the floor next to him, Kenta hooked his hands underneath Yamada's arms, lifting him off the floor and carrying him across the room to plop him gently in the wheelchair by the wall, setting the IV up so it hung from the wheelchair rather than it's rolling stand. He then wheeled Yamada out into the hallway, pausing to take the bowl of oyakadon out of it's box and set it in the tiny blond's lap, along with a pair of chopsticks. XX
"I figured outside food would taste better than hospital meals, but I didn't want to bring you anything easy like ramen, since it won't get you decent nutrients." XX
Setting the now-empty box inside the hospital room to return to the shop later, Kenta shut the door and hung his bag over one of the wheelchair handles, the worried nurse disappearing down the hall, and easily maneuvered Yamada away from the smells of antiseptic and low chatter of nurses. He scans the map inside the elevator and presses the button that will take them to the gardens, which are (according to the map) greenhouses on the hospital roof. XX
There's no one else in the greenhouse when they step out of the elevator. The walls and ceiling are all made of glass, sleek metal frames holding it all together. It's all walled in an covered, but there are pieces of the glass walls held open to let the breeze in, the air much clearer than inside the building. Kenta offhandedly notes that the rain has turned into complete downpour. XXX
Kenta parks Yamada next to a bench and sits down next to him. There's a surprisingly large willow tree looming above them that truly has no business being on the roof of a hospital, but it looks beautiful anyhow, the branches swaying in the wind from the nearby open windows. "Let me know if you get cold, and we can go back indoors." He says, standing to close the window right behind them that keeps blowing a cold draft straight in their direction. XXX
Kenta pulls the paper packet out of his bag. "I have more homework for you." XX

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2017-09-16 04:00:25, as written by Arrow-

- YAMADA NAOKI -

A goodbye when you hold back your tears and smile is lonely, isn't it? ✘ ✘ ✘

Naoki's eyes widened as Tanaka easily reached over and scooped him up under the arms like he was nothing but a sack of potatoes. He looked up at the tall boy with wide eyes as he pushed his wheelchair over to the door. Next, a box of delicious smelling oyakadon was set in his lap. A wide smile spread across his face and he cupped it with his hands. "I figured outside food would taste better than hospital meals, but I didn't want to bring you anything easy like ramen, since it won't get you decent nutrients." Tanaka said to him, and Naoki giggled. He hadn't known Tanaka-san was this considerate. He barely spoke in class, and was never really around at prominent school events.
Tanaka takes him to the roof, and Naoki smiles even wider, if thats even possible. There is beautiful foliage everywhere, the sweet scent of flowers completely wiped away the gross smells of medication and death. There is a giant willow tree that casts a beautiful shade across them, despite the rain hammering at the greenery glass. The tall boy parks his wheelchair by a bench and takes a seat beside him.
"Let me know if you get cold, and we can go back indoors." Tanaka says to him and then rummages around in his bag for something. "I have more homework for you." He pulls out another folder and Naoki graciously reaches out to take it. The bruises on his arms have grown and gotten a dark purple, yellowing at the edges. He laughs nervously and pulls his arms back in as soon as he has the folder. "Thank you." Naoki says quietly and then looks at the folder. "Oh. Its for the rest of the year, huh?" He laughs softly. Looks like someone told the school he wouldn't be coming back anytime soon. That also means this would be the last time Tanaka could come by to see him. His stomach twists in pain, but he smiles through it. "I guess I will have lots to do then." He sets it aside and looks down at the bowl of food in his lap, keeping him warm.
"Thank you for this. It smells delicious. Much better than any food they feed me here." He looks up to Tanaka and gives him a bright smile. "Tanaka-kun... Is it okay if I call you that? Thank you for coming too, and helping me escape. I'm not sure what I would have done if I was stuck in that room all day." Naoki says and breaks his chopsticks in half before rubbing them together to get rid of splinters.
"Itadakimasu~!" Naoki sings happily before digging his chopsticks into the meal and bringing it to his mouth. Maybe it was the fact that all he was eating the past few days was a mix of pills and soups, but the oyakadon might just be the best thing Naoki's ever tasted. He moans happily and wiggles in his wheelchair before digging in again. He looks over at Tanaka and pauses. "Oh! I'm being rude. Do you want some?" He raises the chopsticks to Tanaka's mouth. "Say aaah~!"

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2017-09-19 21:59:26, as written by cl.love

- TANAKA KENTA -

Accept me, support me, even if only a little. ✘ ✘ ✘

"I guess I will have lots to do then." Kenta couldn't helping noticing the subtle hint of melancholy in Yamada's words. It was if he were resigning himself to life in the hospital, and the thought of that made Kenta wonder just why Yamada was there in the first place. "Sensei said he didn't want to inconvenience you or I, since he didn't think you'd want to be bothered my me visiting every day just to bring you boring classwork." He lies, not wanting to say that their teacher's real reason was because he knew Kenta didn't like Yamada. Or hadn't, now. XX
Yamada mentions how good the oyakodon is, and Kenta's gaze snaps back to the smaller blond. He takes the boy's thanks with a nod of his head, not quite sure how to explain the true reasons behind the gesture. "Tanaka-kun... Is it okay if I call you that? Thank you for coming too, and helping me escape. I'm not sure what I would have done if I was stuck in that room all day." Kenta loosens up at that. The fact that he's helping makes his heart a little bit lighter. XX
He watches Yamada eat with a blank mind, never having been good at small talk. Not that Yamada could even make small talk right now anyway. But then a piece of chicken is being held up in front of him, and Yamada's smiling from ear to ear, making Kenta's stomach lurch and eyebrows pinch in confusion. XXX
"Say aaah~!" Kenta feels his face flush bright red and he hesitates. Just what in God's name was Yamada thinking?! Kenta pushed away thoughts of it being an indirect kiss - surely Yamada wasn't thinking of it that way, so neither should he - and leaned forward, taking the piece of chicken without a sound. It was definitely better than any food the hospital would have provided, and Kenta understands Yamada's gratitude. "Thank you. But you don't have to share it." XX
They stay there for a long while. Kenta listens to the rain pounding on the glass, to Yamada eating, to the wind rustling the plants from the open panels. When he notices Yamada's IV starting to run out, Kenta stands, gathering their things and declaring it time to go back inside. "I'd hate for you to get worse because of me." He says, steering them back toward the elevator. "I want you to heal." XX
The nurses inside the building hurry to work replacing Yamada's IV, and when they make it obvious Kenta's no longer wanted in the room (one of the women tries to be more polite, while the other just stares him down), he bids goodbye to Yamada and moves to leave, taking the oyakodon box with him. XX

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2018-02-09 05:57:09, as written by Arrow-

- YAMADA NAOKI -

✘ ✘ ✘ A goodbye when you hold back your tears and smile is lonely, isn't it?

Naoki can’t help but smile more when Tanaka takes the food from his chopsticks, albeit hesitantly. “Thank you. But you don’t have to share it.” The tall boy says and Naoki just lets out a half-sigh, half-laugh and goes back to quietly devouring the delicious meal. He didn’t know how much he needed this until he had it. Somehow, with this small gesture from Tanaka, Naoki felt a small semblance of normalcy... Which was a lot considering his current situation.

He was sure Tanaka was wondering just why Naoki was in the hospital, but Tanaka never asked, and Naoki was grateful. He had only heard the bad news coming to him from doctors. If he himself said it out loud to someone else, it would make it more real. Naoki wasn’t sure he could handle that now... If ever.

All too soon, Naoki’s IV was begging to be changed and Tanaka was standing to push him back into the confines of the hospital. Naoki wished he could just stay out in the greenhouse forever, staring at the rain washing over the old glass. But alas, if the IV ran out, the dull ache would come back to his body. “I’d hate for you to get worse because of me.” Tanaka says, and Naoki gets the feeling there’s some deeper meaning to that. Before he ca ask though, they are almost in the elevator. “I want you to heal.”

Naoki smiles, as is his default setting, and he looks down at his hospital gown. He finger the fabric as he thinks about how he wished he could tell the boy he would be better in no time and there was nothing to worry about. Instead he can only muster a small “Thank you.”

The nurses are already in his room when he gets there, changing his sheets and looking at his chart. When they realize he’s running low on fluids and its almost time for him to take some drugs and zone out, they instantly swarm him and begin changing his IV and getting him situated into bed.

When Naoki looks up, Tanaka is on his way out. He wants to call out to the boy, tell him to stay, beg him not to go or ask him to come back... But he knows he can’t be selfish. The boy probably only came for to drop off his homework and give him the gift out of pity. They barely knew one another... Naoki didn’t have the right to ask him to stay. Instead he watched Tanaka leave quietly, whispering, “Goodbye Tanaka-Kun.” Only after the door closed.

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2018-02-10 06:09:46, as written by cl.love

- KENTA & NAO -

✘ ✘ ✘ #B49B04 & #A57164 / #F67280 & #F8B195 ✘ ✘ ✘

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Day Three

To Nao’s surprise, Tanaka-kun came back the next day. Nao wasn’t quite sure why - it was a Saturday, so there was no school related reason for him to come - but he didn’t want to question it. He didn’t want to deter the boy from ever coming back again. He enjoyed the company, and it was much needed. As sweet as the nurses were, they weren’t particularly the best company to keep. They didn't care much about him or how he was feeling emotionally, rather than physically. To them, like the rest of the hospital, he was his disease.

To Tanaka-kun though, things were different. Nao was just Nao, a fellow classmate. Of course, it wasn’t like Nao really knew that Tanaka-kun was coming due to guilt. Nevertheless, Nao was happier when Tanaka was there. Nao had practically weaseled Tanaka-kun to push him around in the wheelchair so he could get a change of scenery beyond the four walls of his hospital room.

The nurses didn’t exactly appreciate the two boys escapades through the halls, and seemed to make it their god given goal to catch the two of them. Nao was left having a giggle fit filled with happy cries of “wheeee!” and “faster, faster!” as Tanaka-kun ran at the speed of light, pushing him in the wheelchair away from the old, angry nurses. When Nao looked back to see Tanaka’s face, he was amused to see that the boy was completely deadpan.

Eventually Tanaka-kun wheeled Nao back into his room and the two played if off as if they had been there the whole time, which completely ticked off the huffing nurses. Tanaka excused himself as politely and quietly as he usually did and Nao went to sleep that night, giggling to himself, grinning from to ear to ear.

Day Four

Kenta is exhausted by the fourth day, and it has everything to do with Yamada Naoki. He sits up late at night, awake despite it being hours past his normal bedtime, simply pondering the fact that Nao’s sickness is almost guaranteed to be entirely his fault. After all, surely no one else wished him to disappear, everyone else in the world is in love with Nao. And Kenta really can’t hate him, not after seeing him up close and vulnerable.

Nonetheless, Kenta is exhausted when he shows up at the hospital, with bags under his eyes and a droop in his shoulders a little bit deeper than normal.

Nao, as a point of contrast, seems absolutely elated when Kenta walks in the door. He’s all smiles and cheer, as usual, but Kenta notes that his smiles are strained, his cheer not as bright. He doesn’t question it.

The nurses give Kenta an angry look as they shuffle out of the room, and he doesn’t question that either.

Later, Nao confesses to having had a rather rough day. Test after test after test must have taken its toll on him, so Kenta politely suggests staying inside the room and resting rather than traipsing around elsewhere in the hospital, especially since he can see the nurses watching them from the hall. After a quick trip to the hospital gift shop, Kenta produces a copy of The Lucky One, an American romance film. He doesn’t bother wondering why the gift shop of a long-term care hospital has stuff like that, just thanks the Gods for giving them something to do.

Kenta takes his leave when Nao falls asleep halfway through the movie, a nurse shuffling in to do what he assumes is more tests. Nao looks so peaceful in his sleep, so Kenta doesn’t wake him to say goodbye. The nurses say nothing as he walks out of the room, and he wonders if maybe he made them hate him.

Day Five

On day five of their now-regular visits, Kenta is in a sour mood, more than usual. The volleyball team coach had chewed him out after classes for skipping three practices in a row, and when he informs the coach he won’t be able to attend them after school anymore, Kenta’s given a sharp glare and waved off. He tries not to think about whether or not he’s been kicked from the team.

Nao picks up on his somewhat deflated mood, despite Tanaka’s usually monotone voice and blank facial expression. Something about him just seemed off; more depressed than usual. Nao doesn’t like the idea of his new found friend, if he could even call him that, feeling down. His goal for that day soon turned into: 'Plan: Make Tanaka Kenta smile'.

When Tanaka-kun sat down beside his bed, Nao thought to himself, what could he possibly do to cheer the man up. That’s when it hit him; cheesy pick up lines. “Good afternoon Kenta… I was wondering, do you happen to have an inhaler?”

Kenta feels a split second of panic. Why does Nao need an inhaler? Should he call a nurse? “A-an inhaler?”

Nao tries not to giggle to himself as he answers, “Because you took my breath away.” He snickers to himself. He knows it’s lame, but he can’t help himself.

Kenta can’t hide the expression of pure shock he’s surely showing on his face, nor can he hide the subtle pink that floods to his cheeks. He huffs, a hint of a smirk betraying his indifferent facade. “Is that really all you’ve got?” He goads.

Nao smiles. He can see the man starting to crack. “Was that too lame? Hmm.. Then do you have a Band-Aid? Because I think I just scraped my knee falling for you.” He chuckles and looks at Tanaka’s face hopefully. It’s obvious Kenta’s trying his best not to laugh, so Nao continues, hoping to crack him.

“You know, I think you are just suffering from a lack of Vitamin Me. Maybe that’s why you’re so grumpy all the time.”

In any other situation, with any other situation, Kenta’s sure he’d be offended by that. But it’s Nao. And he can’t bring himself to be mad at Nao, so he simply cups a hand over his mouth to hide a smile and tries not to look at Nao’s face.

Nao takes a moment to consider his next move, and goes in for the kill. “Hey, did you know?”

Kenta makes a vague gesture, likely meaning 'what?'

Nao leans in closer to Kenta, close enough to see the pink on his face, and whispers, “I’m an expert in mouth-to-mouth.”

And Kenta loses it. He fucking snorts, probably spitting a little bit onto the floor with how he tries to contain his bursting laughter at what is definitely the worst pickup line of the decade, from his point of view, at least. He doubles over and clutches his stomach, and when his laughter finally fades and he sits back up to wipe a stray tear from his eye, his glasses are crooked on his nose and he’s glowing in a way that Nao doesn’t think he’s ever seem him look before.

When Kenta leaves that night, he actually smiles when he waves goodbye, and Nao counts it as a victory.

Day Six

On day six, Kenta wakes up half an hour past his alarm clock, right around the time he’d usually be leaving home to head to school. He blames Nao completely: he’d been unable to fall asleep the night before because he’d been too busy trying to figure out why the hell Nao was flirting with him. He hadn’t even truly realized it was flirting until he’d already gotten home, and from that moment on, he couldn’t get the damn memory out of his head long enough to pass out.

And apparently when someone doesn’t get enough sleep, they end up so tired they can manage to sleep through their obnoxiously loud alarm until their mother has to come and shake them up.

Kenta’s rush to get to class has him skipping breakfast and missing whatever his mom yells at him as he’s hurrying out the door, though he knows she’s said something along the lines of “can I talk to you later?” He doesn’t have the chance to answer and hopes she doesn’t take it personally. He barely makes it to his seat before the bell rings, and his gaze lingers on Nao’s empty desk.

When Kenta arrives at the hospital, the hallway where Nao’s room is located is full of nurses bustling about, and he tries to ignore the spike of fear when he notices it’s all centered around Nao’s room.

One of the nurses spots Kenta and frowns, but it isn’t the same frown they give him because of that one day he helped Nao run away from them- it’s a frown of sympathy. She approaches him with rushed steps and explains that a medication the doctors had put Nao on was apparently making him vomit. A lot. And since that isn’t a normal effect from the medication, the nurses are all busy running tests and trying to keep Nao stable when he really doesn’t have the strength to be vomiting at all.

She tells Kenta to go home, and as she follows the other nurses into Nao’s room, Kenta catches a glimpse of his friend, laying covered by wires and probes and blankets, looking pale as ever. It haunts him all the way home and Kenta barely notices his mom sitting at the kitchen table, waiting.

“You’re home early.” She says, sipping on a cup of tea, a book opened up in front of her. Kenta knows she hasn’t been reading it; the bookmark is still laying on the pages.

He nods slowly.

“Your coach called me yesterday, said you haven’t been attending practice. He said you told him you won’t be able to attend anymore.” Kenta stiffens. He’s in deep shit. “And yet, you aren’t home in the time you’d normally be at practice. So, would you like to tell me where you’ve been?”

Kenta hesitates only a second before he sighs and takes a seat across from his mom. She pushes her cup of tea into his hand and flips her book shut, leaning toward him the way she does when she thinks he has an interesting story to tell. At least this time she’s right.

He tells her everything: how he used to despise Nao and why, his thoughts the day Suzuki confessed to the guy, what happened after, how he visited Nao out of guilt and slowly started to think of him as a friend. He tells her about the pickup lines and how he’d overslept that morning because he’d been up late worrying about them and what they might mean. He tells her about what he saw when he went to the hospital earlier, and tries to ignore the breath she sucks in.

“Oh, Ken.” Marie stretches out her arms, and without further prompting, Kenta stands from his seat and curls into them, neither of them worrying about the fact he’s almost twice her size.

“Baby boy, you must be so worried. But you can’t let it get to you. You have to be strong, for Yamada-kun, because if you show how worried you are, he’ll notice. And he’ll probably end up feeling like a burden. And besides, he sounds like a wonderful boy. I’m sure he’ll heal.”

Kenta nods against his mother’s shoulder, and she rubs circles into his back with a low sigh. He can’t help but feel like a little kid again.

“Okaa-san,” He says, words muffled by her sleeve. “'Will you come with me to visit him tomorrow? I think he’d love to meet you.”

Marie grins as bright as the sun, nuzzling her son’s hair with her chin. “Fuck yeah I will.”

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2018-02-10 07:21:44, as written by cl.love

- TANAKA KENTA -

Accept me, support me, even if only a little. ✘ ✘ ✘

Kenta is nervous all throughout his classes the next day. He's nervous for Naoki to meet his mother (since when he start using Naoki's first name in his head?!) and he really doesn't understand why. Or rather, he understands why, but he wants to pretend he doesn't, because the alternative is admitting he might be falling in love with Naoki after only a week of being friends, and that...just...no. xx
He also finds himself worried. Incredibly worried. The last he'd seen of Naoki, he was laying in a hospital bed covered in wires and nurses and looking almost akin to a ghost. It didn't help that he hadn't gotten a chance to actually talk to Nao either, because he didn't have Nao's perspective. He doesn't know if maybe Nao wasn't in as much pain as the nurse had made it sound, and he doesn't know if Nao's in so much pain he won't be there when Kenta shows up. xx
And that thought in itself is more unbearable than anything he could consider. xx
When classes finally end, Kenta leaves class so quickly he actually has eyes on him, a truly rare occurrence. He sprints through the halls and nearly trips going down the stairs, gets scolded by a teacher for running and slows just until the teacher is out of sight before racing off again. His mom is waiting by the gate. x
"How were your classes?" She asks, effortlessly matching Kenta's strides despite how much shorter her legs are compared to his. "Anything of interest happen?" xx
"I'm not sure. I was distracted most of the day." He replies honestly. Marie nods on recognition, and moves on to tell him about the few entertaining customers she served earlier. She doesn't push on why he was distracted; he knows she'll wait until he chooses to explain, or will simply let it go if he never comes to her. xx
They stay politely quiet while on the train, and Kenta makes a detour to buy a gift for Nao. He briefly ponders what to get him, knowing he probably wouldn't be able to eat anything much after vomiting so many times the night before. Then Kenta spots a pastel pink blanket covered in little bear faces. It's softer than any blanket he's ever felt and he pulls it off the shelf without hesitation. A similar bear-face-shaped pillow also catches his attention, and he buys both. xx
His mom says nothing as he pays for the items, just shoots him a knowing look. xx
The hospital is surprisingly peaceful when they walk in, and Kenta leads the way to Naoki's room without a word. A couple of nurses acknowledge his presence with a polite smile, a select few frowning at the sight of him, and Kenta does his best to ignore his mom's raised eyebrow. He's sure Nao will tell her the story of how he wheeled the guy away from nurses who now hate him. xx
He pauses outside the door, hesitating. A hand rests on his arm, and he takes a deep breath, glancing to his mom with a slight worried expression before wiping it from his face and opening the door, shoulders tense with concern. xxxx
Nao is sitting in bed, as expected, a book in his lap and an oxygen mask over his face. He still looks pale, and Kenta can't help but note that his eyes are sunken in a little, his hair not quite as golden. He looks sickly. It's not comforting. xx
The book snaps shut as Nao catches sight of his visitors, and he smiles, and it makes Kenta's heart jump, which he doesn't particular hate. Then Nao's pulling off his mask and coughing and making Kenta's heart jump for a very different reason. "Oi!" Without a second thought he drops what he's holding and lunges for Nao, grabbing the mask from where it's fallen onto the bed and gently pulling away the hands Nao's got against his mouth as he coughs and hacks. xx
Pressing the cup against Nao's face, Kenta carefully hooks the strap back around the boy's head and sighs. "You idiot, you need that, if they've put it on you." He frowns, worried. "What were you thinking, just yanking it off like that?" xxx

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2018-02-10 16:40:57, as written by Arrow-

- YAMADA NAOKI -

✘ ✘ ✘ A goodbye when you hold back your tears and smile is lonely, isn't it?

Nao had been in the middle of one of his favourite books by his favourite author when Kenta and a new guest he hadn't seen before had shown up. He had been expecting him, as usual, but for once he kind of hoped the boy didn't come. The day before had been fairly bad for him. A new medication had given him a bad reaction, and he had spent a majority of the day retching up the empty contents of his stomach. He knew he looked awful; his hair lacklustre and his eyes had bags the size of the moon, his skin was practically translucent next to the burble bruising across his body from needles and tubes. Worst of all, he was stuck with a breathing mask on, helping him get enough oxygen to his weak lungs. He hated looking so weak, and the mask made him feel so much weaker, thus why he pulled it off as soon as Kenta walked in. "You idiot, you need that, if they've put it on you." Tanaka-kun says to him, running to him and pressing the mask back to his face. "What were you thinking, just yanking it off like that?"

"I..." Naoki tries to speak through the coughing and wheezing, but has to take a moment to regain his normal breathing before he can speak again. "I didn't want you to see me like this." He mumbles, and then even lower, so the new woman standing there doesn't hear, "You brought a guest... I didn't want her to see me like this either." He can't look Kenta in the eyes, and instead fumbles with the book in his hands; fingers gingerly thumbing the cover.

He then takes a breath and looks up at the woman in the door. She's older, but aged beautifully. She had a natural, confident, gorgeous air to her that most women didn't. She looked sort of like Kenta too... Or I guess, Kenta looked like her? Nevertheless, he took the effort to sit up straight and bow as best as he could. He was confined to bed today, the oxygen mask had a rather short tube. Maybe on purpose, he came to realize, so that he couldn't escape again if he felt like it.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm Yamada Naoki." He gives her one of his cheeky smiles, eyes crinkling close. He wondered who she was and what she was doing there, but he was certain she was here for a reason. Kenta hadn't brought anyone before, and he didn't seem like the type to have many older friends. So she must have been important to him.

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2018-02-11 08:23:04, as written by cl.love

- TANAKA KENTA -

Accept me, support me, even if only a little. ✘ ✘ ✘

"I didn't want you to see me like this. You brought a guest... I didn't want her to see me like this either." Naoki almost whispers, and Kenta doesn't really know how to respond. What could he possibly say to that? Nao does look weak, frail, ill, and while Kenta doesn't want to tell him that, he doesn't like the idea of lying to Nao either. He settles for a quiet sigh, and turns to pick up the blanket and pillow he'd dropped in his rush, only to find his mom already holding them. xx
She hands him the gifts, and when he turns back to his friend, Nao is smiling as if nothing were wrong at all. "Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm Yamada Naoki." xx
"My name is Marie, I'm Kenta's mom." Marie says easily, patting Kenta's shoulder as he sets the gifts on Naoki's bed. "Kenta's told me a lot about you, so it's nice to meet the person he's been spending so much time with lately." xxx
"I- we got these for you. The nurse said you vomited a lot yesterday, so I didn't think sweets would be the best present..." For a split second, Ken looks pained, but he quickly steels his expression. Naoki still can't quite meet his gaze, and so Kenta turns his to the floor, picking idly at a callous on one of his middle fingers. xx
"Y'know, I'm pretty thirsty, I forgot to bring some water. I'm gonna go find some tea in a vending machine, maybe." Marie says, a sly smirk lighting on her face. xx
As expected, Kenta intervenes. "No, I'll go get you some. For Nao too. It's too big here, you'd get lost. I'll be right back." Kenta disappears out the door, not even realizing he'd just used 'Nao' instead of 'Yamada'. Marie stifles a giggle. xx
"He's so considerate, almost too considerate. Makes me wonder why he hates making friends so much." She says, seemingly looking off into another world. But then she's smiling at Naoki once again. "He came home last night looking like he'd seen a ghost, and told me all about you. He's worried, though he'll never admit it. You're the first friend he's had. I think he's scared of losing you." xx
Marie pauses, and with slow movements, carefully tucks a stray tuft of Naoki's hair behind his ear, a motherly gesture. "I really only have one thing to ask of you: please don't push him away. Even if it seems like the right thing to do, to keep him from getting attached, just...don't. He needs someone to look after." xx
Just as Kenta is walking back into the room, two cans of different flavors of tea and one can of iced coffee in his arms, Marie catches sights of the book in Nao's lap and grins from ear to ear. "Ken, your boyfriend's reading my book!" xx

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2018-02-12 03:13:23, as written by Arrow-

- YAMADA NAOKI -

✘ ✘ ✘ A goodbye when you hold back your tears and smile is lonely, isn't it?

iiiXii Theme: Secret Base by Mes (Cover)
XiiiiiiXXXii. FC: Hazuki Nagisa | Free!
Xi Dialogue : #F67280 | Thought : #F8B195X
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Naoki smiles calmly as Marie introduces herself, and cant help but blush a little as the cute pink blanket and pillow set was given to him. He was touched. He hadn't expected anything, but Tanaka-kun was always so kind to him.

"Y'know, I'm pretty thirsty, I forgot to bring some water. I'm gonna go find some tea in a vending machine, maybe." Marie says and looks like shes about to leave the room, but her son is quick to go instead. "No, I'll go get you some. For Nao too. It's too big here, you'd get lost. I'll be right back." Tanaka-kun says and quickly runs from the room. Naoki pauses and watches the boy go. He had sworn he had just called him Nao... Maybe he was losing his hearing now too?

"He's so considerate, almost too considerate. Makes me wonder why he hates making friends so much." Marie comments and then smiles at Nao. "He came home last night looking like he'd seen a ghost, and told me all about you. He's worried, though he'll never admit it. You're the first friend he's had. I think he's scared of losing you." Nao looked down at his lap, staring at the book sitting there. He didn't know that... Of course he had never seen him hang out with anyone, but Naoki had always assumed that Tanaka had friends outside of class, maybe from the volleyball team. "I see..." He whispered in thought. Tenaka-kun was afraid of losing him? Naoki wished he could somehow ease those fears, but he could barely assure himself these days.

Nao's eyes widen and his head snaps up when Marie tucks a tuft of his hair back, much like a mother would to their small child. He feels his face heat up, but before he can say anything, shes continuing. "I really only have one thing to ask of you: please don't push him away. Even if it seems like the right thing to do, to keep him from getting attached, just...don't. He needs someone to look after." She explains, and Nao bites the insides of his cheeks. Maybe it was bad of him, but he hadn't thought of pushing Tanaka away. Maybe he was greedy, selfish, or maybe he was just lonely and afraid... But he needed Kenta. Without his visits, Naoki wasn't sure how much longer he could have lasted without having a breakdown. Even his house keeper had stopped coming to visit by the fifth day. His family had only contacted him with a kurt phone call informing him they would pay the medical expenses. Naoki really, really needed Kenta.

And then there he is, the awkwardly tall, fumbling boy who had somehow become so close to him within a mere week, walking back into the room with drinks for them all. He brings a genuine smile to Nao's face, and a warm fluttering to his chest that isn't just his irregular heartbeat. The smile is wiped off his face though, when Kenta's mom says, "Ken, your boyfriend's reading my book!"

Theres a mix of emotions that go through Naoki's mind. First; embarrassment. He blushes brightly, eyes wide in shock at the word boyfriend. Not that there was anything wrong with boys loving boys, he had just never thought like that... But he supposed maybe the two did seem that way. For a brief moment, Nao didn't think that was so bad. Second; shock. Had Marie just said her book? Nao looks down at the cover. It had her name written there. How had he not picked it up sooner? Then again, what a coincidence this was. His favourite author sitting there, next to his bed, talking to him, breathing the same air as him. Well, except for the fact that Nao was currently breathing through an oxygen tank, but we'll forget this moment for his over-dramatic thought process.

"Y-You... You wr-wrote this..." He stammers over his words, more of a statement than a question. And then he's coughing again, getting far too excited as he squirms in his bed at the pure pleasure of having his favourite author in the same room.

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2018-02-12 06:49:32, as written by cl.love

- TANAKA KENTA -

Accept me, support me, even if only a little. ✘ ✘ ✘

Kenta's in the process of handing out the cans of tea when his mother speaks, and he nearly drops the can he's holding, cheeks burning red at her implication. "Mom!" He exclaims, in shock at her audacity. He really shouldn't be. He knows her too well to say this is abnormal behavior. But still. He glances toward Nao and finds his friend in a similar state of embarrassment, though it passes quickly as Marie's second statement settles in: he's reading her novel. xxx
His mother's name is indeed on the front cover, and Kenta feels his heart start to speed up when he reads the title. He knows this book, knows it very well. He also knows his mother very well. And the fact that Nao is reading this particular book the exact moment Marie refers to them as 'boyfriends' isn't going to slip past her. "Mom, please don't-" He tries in vain to dissuade her from the sermon. xx
"I'll tell you a little secret," Marie studiously ignores him. "This book is actually all about Ken! The main character's experiences are modeled after him entirely!" xx
The novel itself is about a young teenage boy trying to find himself after his dad passes away. It details his dealings with puberty and sexuality and grief, among other things. And all of it is indeed modeled after Kenta's own teen life. xx
Of course, Nao really didn't need to know this, but it's far too late now for that. xx
Kenta feels himself blushing harder and he turns his face away, handing Nao his tea without looking and taking a seat to drink his coffee in peace while his mother continues on about the details from the book that were altered from Kenta's actual life. He tries not to think about how Nao must be digesting it all. He doubts Nao would object to the realization; surely he wouldn't be reading an LGBT novel if he didn't agree with the content. But the doubt is still there. xxx
(Kenta also tries his damned hardest to ignore the voice in his head that says it isn't a coincidence Nao was reading an LGBT novel about him, and that Nao might actually like him. He doesn't want to think about if he's falling for Naoki.) xx

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

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#2019-01-14 03:28:45, as written by Arrow-

- YAMADA NAOKI -

✘ ✘ ✘ A goodbye when you hold back your tears and smile is lonely, isn't it?

“I'll tell you a little secret," Marie leans in to Naoki like she has some hot gossip. "This book is actually all about Ken! The main character's experiences are modeled after him entirely!"

Naoki’s eyes widened at the newfound information. His favourite book... was about Kenta?

Thinking over the contents again, his heart twisted a little. The main premise was of a boy facing the loss of his father and how he healed whilst also facing the problems of growing up. Nao looked up at Kenta’s blushing face and averted eyes and could understand why. There was some very sensitive information about Kenta’s puberty and coming into manhood in the book. He felt himself blush too. He felt like he knew way more then he was sure Kenta wanted him to know. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but still be star struck over the fact that the author and main character of his favourite book were in the same room as him.

“That... this is amazing!” Naoki tried to bite back the excited glee shown on his lips in the form of a smile. He looked at Kenta and gave him a grin from behind the oxygen mask. “I’m happy. I feel like I know you a lot better now.”

He then sheepishly turned to Marie, a woman Naoki easily saw himself falling for in a completely platonic guardian sort of way. “Would it be weird to ask for an autograph?”

Naoki didn’t realize it at the time, but sitting there with Marie and Kenta, it felt like what home should feel like. It didn’t feel like four hospital walls filled with machinery, but rather a woman with a beautiful energy, an adorably blushing tall boy, and the sick kid who felt more normal and less lonely than ever.

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

2 Characters Present

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#2019-01-14 07:51:57, as written by cl.love

- TANAKA KENTA -

Accept me, support me, even if only a little. ✘ ✘ ✘

XXXii Theme: Zoetrope by Yanagi Nagi
Xi Dialogue : #B49B04 | Thought : #A57164
XXXXii. FC: Tsukishima Kei | Haikyuu!!X
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Kenta knows he's blushing. He can tell from the look on his mother's face- triumph. Actual, literal triumph. Sometimes he really can't stand the woman. xxx
"That... this is amazing!" Kenta snaps out of scowling at his mom and turns to Nao, taking in the expression on his face. Even with the oxygen mask and tubes and wires, somehow, he looks brighter. He's fucking dazzling, with his big smile and the cute bear-themed gifts piled around him, the entirety of Kenta's teen years sitting in his lap. "I’m happy. I feel like I know you a lot better now." xx
What the fuck. Why is my chest doing that. What the actual fuck. Kenta very deliberately schools his expression into something as neutral as could possibly be, because Tanaka-fucking-Marie is sitting next to him and there is no way in hell he's making more of an ass of himself in front of his mom, whom he knows will never let him live down being obliterated by a simple comment by Naoki. xx
(In the back of his mind, Kenta knows he's already screwed. He was screwed the second he asked his mom to come meet Naoki. But he ~~can~~ will pretend.) xx
And then: "Would it be weird to ask for an autograph?" and Ken's obliterated all over again, because Nao is so polite, so considerate, and Kenta knows his mom is already in love with Nao because her immediate, gleeful answer is, "Of course, it would be my pleasure! and Kenta has seen her reject so many book signing requests that it's almost funny. He's not even surprised, 'cause it's Nao. xx
"Mom, if you draw a penis in his book, I swear I'm gonna pour milk on you while you sleep." Kenta says, raising an eyebrow at her pout. "Ken! How dare you propose such a thing! I'm not that uncouth." "You really are, though?" "And you're a snitch, clearly." "That's fair." Marie snickers and passes the book back to Nao, her swirly cursive signature in a perfectly straight line on the front page. xx
Marie and Nao continue to chat and Kenta looks on, happy that they get along. It's not like he didn't expect that, though. The two of them are a match made in mother-and-pseudo-son heaven, if that's even a place that exists. He listens to them go on and on about Marie's novel, answers a few questions about the main character or which parts are true to his actual life, and quietly basks in how perfectly contented Nao seems. It's a comforting improvement. xx
Kenta and his mother finally go home when a couple of nurses come to help Nao with dinner. Ken knows this is the last thing Nao wants them to see, so they bid him goodbye and Ken watches his mother kiss Nao on the forehead like she used to with Ken when he was smaller. It's tender, and considering Kenta hasn't heard of or seen Nao's parents even once, he decides it's a good thing. xx

- One Week Later -

"You're supposed to be in a meeting with your editor right now?" Kenta says, squinting at Marie, who sits braiding a few tiny strands of Nao's hair. She turns to him and raises an eyebrow. "So?" "So, why are you still here? You're late." xxxx
"Eh, that man could stand to wait on someone. He's got such a stick up his ass." Marie shoots back. How she still has a job is beyond him. "Yeah, and he's only person who can manage to turn your ridiculous typos into actual understandable sentences, so I think your meetings with him are important." Marie just scowls, dropping Nao's hair and sighing. "Always the voice of reason, aren't you? I think I did too good a job raising you, you're parenting me now." xx
Nao giggles at their exchange and Kenta frowns half-heartedly at him. Marie stands and gathers her things, kissing Nao on the forehead and ruffling Ken's hair as she passes, heading for the door. "But you're right, so I'm gonna go. Love you both, see you soon!" And she's gone, whistling her way down the hall. xx
In the past week, Kenta can tell Nao's been improving. The bags under his eyes are all but gone, his hair is fluffier than ever, and the nurses finally relieved him of the oxygen mask. Kenta still keeps it in his sights, more than a little bit terrified of not having it near when Nao actually needs it. Not that he'd say so. xx
Ken takes his mom's seat and smiles warmly at the little braids sticking out in Nao's hair. "Sorry if she's been invading your personal space, she doesn't really like people a lot of the time but when she gets attached, she gets... really attached." He says. Although, I think I already know what Naoki thinks of it all. xx

Setting

Kyoto, Japan

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#2019-01-14 15:14:36, as written by Arrow-

- YAMADA NAOKI -

✘ ✘ ✘ A goodbye when you hold back your tears and smile is lonely, isn't it?

iiiXii Theme: Secret Base by Mes (Cover)
XiiiiiiXXXii. FC: Hazuki Nagisa | Free!
Xi Dialogue : #F67280 | Thought : #F8B195X
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It had been a week since Marie had started joining Kenta in almost daily visits to the hospital, and Naoki couldn’t be more grateful. Of course he loved spending time alone with Kenta, but a special part of his chest fluttered when he watched to two of them bicker and tease each other. That’s what family was supposed to be like. Of course, it did hurt just a little bit watching such a healthy parent child relationship whilst his parents had only recently sent word that they were still abroad, had no intention of returning, and they hoped he would get better soon. It wasn’t even their hand writing, he knew from mulling over old letters like they were the bible. When he was a child they would send real letters, but eventually the task was taken over by their assistants. Nevertheless, he couldn’t be too bitter, because they warmed his heart more then hurt it.

Marie apparently had lots of free time as a writer and would come visit him during the days too. Sometimes she would read to him, other times they would just gossip together, other times she would help him walk around for physiotherapy which was getting better as of late. His joints didn’t feel as stiff. Overall he had been starting to show signs of a little recovery. His body still ached, he felt tired more often then not and he was still bruised from all the tubes and wires and needles he got constantly, but he must have been getting thicker skin because the bruises weren’t as terrible, he was able to sleep a bit more, he didn’t need an oxygen mask as often. It was a good sign, and Naoki knew it wasn’t medically possible, but he chalked it up to the good vibes from Kenta and Marie.

Today, he watched as the two of them had a little spat after spending the day braiding parts of his hair with Marie and talking about Kenta’s childhood before Marie excused herself for a meeting.

“Sorry if she's been invading your personal space, she doesn't really like people a lot of the time but when she gets attached, she gets... really attached." Kenta sighed as he sat next to Nao.

Nao shook his head vigorously, ignoring how it made him a teensy but dizzy, and gave Kenta a big smile. “She hasn’t been invading at all! She’s really kind, your mom. It’s a bit weird, having someone dote over me.... y’know, cuz my parents haven’t always been around. But Marie? She’s what a mom should be.” He thought wistfully and ran his fingers over the braids in his hair. “You’re lucky to have her. She’s lucky to have you.”

He leaned back against his hospital bed and hummed. “I would like to be like that if I had kids someday.” He had always thought about having a family of his own, and kids he could treat with so much kindness and love. That idea seemed so far away now that he lived in a hospital bed.

He snuggled into his bear blanket and pillow and peered at Kenta. “Have you ever wanted to make some kids?” He wiggles his eyebrows at the boy playfully.

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#2019-01-15 06:15:53, as written by cl.love

- TANAKA KENTA -

Accept me, support me, even if only a little. ✘ ✘ ✘

"Have you ever wanted to make some kids?" Oh God... how did we get here? xxx
Kenta flops back into his chair, schools his expression into a blank stare, and, in the most deadpan voice, says: "Nope. Never" Then he basks in Nao's reaction. xx
"I'm joking. Well, mostly." Kenta continues, making himself comfortable. "It's not so much that I don't want kids, I just... I don't think I'd make a very good dad." xx
He's thought about this a lot, actually, late at night with insomnia whilst fantasizing about being married to Suzuki Chinami, because that's totally what most teenagers do when they have a crush. Totally. And... yeah, Kenta kind of does want to have kids someday, to be married and have a happy family. But the real issue lies in the fact that his ego thinks he'd be a real flippin' shit father. xx
"My dad was a really amazing man. He discovered what he wanted to be when he was young, and made it his career even though everyone in his life told him it was a useless endeavor. He married the woman he fell in love with and left his disapproving family behind, because my mom respected him, and they didn't. He taught me to stand strong, but to be vulnerable with who I love." xx
"There's no way I could ever live up to that." Kenta admits. "I feel like even if I did have kids one day, I would always be comparing myself to my own dad." xx

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#2019-01-16 01:16:50, as written by Arrow-

- YAMADA NAOKI -

✘ ✘ ✘ A goodbye when you hold back your tears and smile is lonely, isn't it?

Nao listened closely to the boy as he talked about his dad, and Nao felt very lucky for knowing Kenta trusted him enough to talk about this. “There’s no way I could ever live up to that.” Kenta finishes, “I feel like even if I did have kids one day, I would always be comparing myself to my own dad.” Nao hummed and pulled his blanket around him tighter to cocoon himself in the soft pink fabric.

“Is that so bad though?” Nao hummed and then looked at Kenta and smiled.

“I mean, striving to be as good as you can isn’t a bad thing. Aiming to be like your father isn’t terrible, it just means that you want to inspire your kids in the way that he did for you. I think that if you ever have your own kids you should worry less about being a mirror image of your father, and instead work hard to make him proud. I’m sure he would be very proud of who you are today. You’re a really good person.” Nao shrugged. “That’s just my two cents though.”

Anyone who knew what Kenta had been doing for Nao would know he was a good person. The boy had com with no obligation to do so and kept coming every day. Without Kenta, Naoki was sure he wouldn’t have been doing as well as he was. He felt like he really owed a lot to Kenta.

Naoki reached over and snatched Kenta’s hand, petting it softly like Marie had done to Nao when they talked about important things. Kenta’s hand was much larger then his own and warm against his cold sickly skin. Naoki briefly wondered what it would be like to intertwine their fingers.

Huh... Did he like Kenta? The thought hit him suddenly. He supposed he did, why else would he feel so sun-shatteringly happy whenever the boy was near him. Did he really have the right to like someone though, in the state he was in? Rather then dwell on this though, Nao continued to rub the boys hand with his own, as it was all he knew how to do to comfort the boy besides giving him his signature smile.

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