Asher Costello's Story

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"I'd say go to the police, but yeah... that mightn't be the best idea, not if you want to keep it a secret," he replied cuttingly. "And besides, they're corrupt as fuck here," he added. Bea's anxiety hadn't gone unnoticed, and he couldn't help but think that it wasn't just because of Ellie's story. Something was going on in her life, just like in all of their lives.

"Tell you what- I'm going to order some pizza, because drinking straight vodka on an empty stomach isn't good for any of us, and you're both like skeletons. I'll be back in a minute," he said, standing up and heading for the trap door. Something caught the light and his attention as he ducked down onto the steps, but he didn't pay too much attention to it.

As he unlocked his phone, a new message caught his attention. His heart missed a few beats as he saw who it was from. Alby. He typed out a reply as fast as he could.

To: Alby
"I'm over at Bea's, but I can get over to yours if you need me to."

His hands were still shaking as he called his preferred pizza place, and even almost messed up the order. Was Alby finally out? Was he okay?



His smile was incredibly endearing, and Charlie found herself smiling back at him without even thinking about it. "Awesome," she said, popping another bit of brownie into her mouth. She raised an eyebrow at him picking at his cake. "Changed your mind? Seriously, one bit of cake won't completely disrupt your schedule. Especially not with having to put up with me for the whole afternoon," she teased. It was only as she went to take a mouthful out of her shake that she realised she was getting a nosebleed. "Fuck," she muttered to herself, before flashing a grin at Ash and standing up. "Excuse me for a bit," she said, pressing a napkin to her nose as she headed for the bathroom. Typical- all morning in the hospital without anything, and now it was all starting to kick off.

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Two weeks later

Sam grinned as he got out of the car, pulling on his sunglasses. Summer was fast approaching, and you could feel it in the weather. It was beautifully sunny and warm- the perfect weather for a bit of a beach party. After the stress of the past few weeks, they'd all pitched in and had rented a house by the beach for a night and a party. It felt so good. Things had been... weird. Not a bad weird, just... weird. Like staying in Alby's. He'd spent so much time there that he'd started to consider it his second home- but now it was basically his first home, and that was weird. And actually being able to hang out with Alby in public as more than just friends. After all, his parents had kicked him out- he wasn't going to keep it a secret any more if he didn't have to.

He hauled his bag out of the backseat of the car and headed for the house, digging in his pocket for the keys. He appeared to be the first there- and regardless, he was the first into the house, seeing as he'd been the one to pick up the keys. He let himself in, and dumped his bags in the first room he found. He severely doubted that they'd end up actually sleeping in their own rooms tonight- there'd probably be a pile of them on the middle of the sitting room floor in varying states of intoxication.

As he waited for the other, he started piling what alcohol he'd been able to afford into the fridge. He'd focused mostly on food, but had of course brought alcohol as well.



Charlie had barely recovered from a string of bad days, and yet here she was, going to a party where the only person she really knew was Ash. She was pretty sure that it wasn't the best idea- but she also hadn't wanted to turn down Ash's invitation. Not only because she didn't want to appear rude, but also because, she had actually wanted to go. Parties had been few and far between back home.

She'd had to get a lift from Ash- while she could drive, the money that would have otherwise gone on her first car had to go on her treatment. And while she did have her own savings, it seemed a bit of a waste to buy a car that she mightn't be even able to drive in a few weeks.

"So, tell me a little about these people that I'm shortly going to be partying with," she asked as they started to near their destination.

"I party all night, I laugh till I cry,"

Laugh Till I Cry | The Front Bottoms || Kids Just Wanna Dance | Emily's Army || Drown | Elizabeth Grace

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Bea ended up driving down to the beach alone, she'd been very close to cancelling because she wasn't sure she was going to be able to manage a night or so away without...without it. Even now just sat in her car she was scared, her knuckles white as she gripped the wheel staring distractedly at the road, the Green Day album 'Kerplunk' was playing casually in the background and it was one of her favourites but she was far from into it, she simply sat in her seat hearing it but not really listening to it all. That's what everything had felt like lately, like it was all going straight over head without her interacting with anything or ever being involved in life going on around her. She'd missed art college a few days back because she woke up in the morning too drunk to drive and she'd hated herself for it. Art was the only thing she had going for herself and she was pissing it down the drain just like everything else and she was so lonely. Since Alby came back it had almost been worse and bordering on unbearable because his presence all the time, even when she just wanted to go see Sam was a reminder of their love and relationship; something she loved for the two of them but sourly envied at the same time. It sometimes felt like they were rubbing it in her face a bit but they didn't know, she wasn't mad because it wasn't their fault- there was just too much going on in her head and it made her stress the little things and even more sensitive to everything else.

Living though, for Bea it'd started to feel like an outer body experience as though she was watching herself waver through life from the side lines; observing and wishing desperately to stop herself from doing things, change herself, turn back time- stop herself from messing up but she just couldn't because she wasn't really there and the whole world just kept rotating without her and she was left behind with the dust. She wished she could put that into words to someone, to her a friend, to her therapist- to her Dad. She wished she could open up to somebody about her afflictions but she just didn't have the courage or the will to try.

Last time she'd weighed herself she was almost 8 stone and hollow like pipe. Her bras didn't fit properly anymore, her favourite sweater hung off her shoulders like it belonged to her boyfriend or her father but it wasn't and a month ago it fit perfectly. She was a bag of bones and if it wasn't for the dark and shimmering eyeshadow surrounding her heavy eyes, you'd notice the shadow of many sleepless nights clinging onto her eyelids. Her skin and eyes were kind of paled, veins almost luminescent with an eerie blue glow-there was the fact her hair was slightly over grown also maybe not for most people but when you consider Beatrice's style of cropped locks, it was unusual but the effort had been made today to curl it ever so slightly and the scent of her forgotten favourite perfume lingered on her chest.

Her eyes flashed a little when she realised her car as though driving itself was rolling up onto the drive way of their holiday house and she took a deep breath.

It'd be fine.

"It'll be fun," She told herself quietly. She removed the keys from her dashboard and put her hand on the door handle and though it opened, she struggled to gather the strength to push it far away enough for her to slip out but with few inches of space she just about managed and then made her way to the boot to bring in her bags and possessions. She recognised the car as Alby's and as ecstatic as she was to see her best friend, part of her wished she didn't have to because the reality was she wouldn't be able to lie to him and she was far worse then she had been two week ago when they reunited after his release.

She locked the car and then walked out the house finding the door unlocked, she stepped inside.

"Hello?" She called softly.

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"I might be a boxer but by now means am I a fighter,"

Gum | Moose Blood || We Had A Pact | Creeper || Figuring It Out | SWMRS

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Asher was feeling very fortunate to having been on a high note in terms of health for the past couple of days, he had some positive feedback from the hospital- he was still sick but he'd received Doctor's permission and advise that he'd be okay to go away for the trip with the others. He had to admit he'd been surprised when Bea text him asking him to come along simply because he'd expected the group to be angry after he'd gone ghost on them since the party, he'd spread the word about collapsing at the party and he figured he'd just have to brush them off with boxing training for the mean tie if anybody asked when they got there an the other thing Ash felt incredibly fortunate for was Charlie.

It'd been a built of a whirlwind meeting her, since they met he'd spent more time with her than anybody else and was shamelessly becoming quite attached to the girl- she had spirit, good humour and was just kind of cool in the true nature of the world

As he parked the car he chuckled a little at her question and thought about it for a moment. "Well. Scarlet's in god squad, basically a nun- she's the blonde girl, you'll know as soon as she opens her mouth. Alby is Bea's best friend, he's cool- they've both got pot problems an cynical tendencies but Bea's the tough exterior but actually a proper sappy sweetheart kind of type. She'll probably give you some verbal abuse but she means well. Then there's Sam; he's the sport's type, really chill and other t that I don't know who could be there but they're all really nice people and they'll love you so, so it'll be fun I promise and thanks for coming with me- I didn't know if you'd want to but I'm glad you did, it wouldn't have been the same if you hadn't," He told her honestly with a gentle, boyish grin on his lips.

"I party all night, I laugh till I cry,"

Laugh Till I Cry | The Front Bottoms || Kids Just Wanna Dance | Emily's Army || Drown | Elizabeth Grace

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It might have been unfair but Bea instantly blamed Scarlet when everything unravelled. Why the hell had she brought some random with her to a party? They hadn't seen Ash for months but even he'd had the courtesy to inform them he was bringing a girl with him and asked if it was okay and then Scarlet just rocked up with some guy on her arms who'd straight away thrown himself at Sam.

"What the fuck are you on? Sam hasn't knocked up anyone he's gay for fuck sake, get off of him you arsehole," Bea snapped instantly rushing to Sam's defence and despite herself, her size, her fragility and her weakness, moving to his side and trying to grab the guy's arm to pull his hand off of Sam.

"Who even are you? And Scarlet what the fuck are you playing at? Bringing some raging testosterone pumped weirdo up here," She snapped bitterly unable to comprehend why this was even happening. This guy's accusations were ridiculous. Sam getting Scarlet pregnant? For one he was gay and she could have sworn Scarlet was some kind of nun sworn to chastity or something. There was jut so many things wrong with this.

Bea looked at Alby with a pained expression as he walked in, an expression that in itself pleaded for help because there was clearly nothing she could really do here other than shout at people. She didn't have the power to get this guy to leave or even the strength to stop himself from hitting Sam.

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"I might be a boxer but by now means am I a fighter,"

Gum | Moose Blood || We Had A Pact | Creeper || Figuring It Out | SWMRS

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"For instance, that guy. Who the fuck is that guy? Shit, sorry for the language," He rambled climbing out his car to go see what was going on. He hadn't even got a chance to change his gear to park before something was going wrong. Some guy who he figured most have come with Scarlet was going for Sam.

"Hey, what the fuck man, get off him," Ash called jogging over, not really wanting to get involved in the fight himself because of his need for a clean reputation and not being able to risk injury for the sake of his career but at the same time not prepared to watch this guy throw shots at Sam. His lip curled awkwardly and noticed Bea instantly blew her top and he looked at her shaking his head, trying to get her to chill out before her words made everything escalate. He agreed with what she said but she'd only spark the guy up.

"Beatrice, chill dude. Let's just work out why this dude things has happened. Maybe he's got his reasons muddled up or something," He sighed looking over at Charlie feeling terrible this was the first impression she was going to get off of the group. He walked back to the car and opened her car door for her, he figured she was capable but he was old fashioned and charming like that and he leaned down to mumble; "I'm really sorry, I don't know who this guy is or what he's playing at but we'll sort it out. You ok?" He asked gently clearly feeling quite bad about the conditions she was going to meet everybody under. "However, I guess when I said about Beatrice being a bit of a verbal abuser you'll know now exactly who I'm talking about," He tried to joke but clearly wasn't at all comfortable with the situation with Sam and this guy, but more importantly with bringing Charlie into it.

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Sam had just called out to Bea that he was in the kitchen when somebody who was most definitely not Bea stormed in and grabbed him. He heard what they both said- but the sudden crushing sensation in his chest, coupled with his inability to breathe were a little distracting. He could swear that he felt hands around his neck again, even though he was aware that he was being held by his shirt. He seemed to have lost all control of his body- he couldn't move, he could hardly breathe, and he certainly couldn't speak. It was all going to end badly again, it was happening again, he was going to actually die this time-

It was only as Bea appeared and started trying to forcibly remove the other guy that he snapped back to reality. His control of his body regained, he was able to shove the other guy away easily. But the crushing feeling in his chest hadn't entirely lessened, so instead of fighting back, he just went straight to Alby, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and burying his face in Alby's neck. He was fine, he was fine, he was fine.

He wished it was the first time that he'd had an episode like this- but there had been a few nightmares that had caused similar episodes, ones where he'd struggled to tell reality and his dreams apart. And of course, they'd mostly happened when Alby had been gone doing whatever he'd been doing, which had only made them all the worse.

He knew that acting normal, that being his usual smart-ass self would have been the best idea and that it would have meant none of the others worrying about him, but right now, that wasn't what he wanted, needed, or even could really do. Calming himself down and stopping his heart from pounding were his priorities, and he could barely do them.



Charlie had nodded at their descriptions. She was, thankfully, good with meeting new people, but she would have been lying if she said that she wasn't a little nervous. They all sounded like they had quite big personalities, and she just hoped she'd be able to hold up beside them.

The drama, however, started before she even got out of the car. She decided to stay exactly where she was, not wanting to get involved with whatever drama was happening inside the house. Even from inside the car, she could hear some people yelling, which made her wonder if she was doing the right thing, coming here. But before she could run away, Asher was back and opening her door for her. She grinned at him and his comments. "Yeah, I'm fine. I love a bit of drama, you know that," she said, swallowing her fears and making her way into the house. By the time she'd done so, things had calmed down, but everyone still looked a little on edge. She hung back a little, waiting for Asher to come back and introduce her and so on.

"I party all night, I laugh till I cry,"

Laugh Till I Cry | The Front Bottoms || Kids Just Wanna Dance | Emily's Army || Drown | Elizabeth Grace

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Bea glared at Scarlet with narrowed eyes, it was so hard not to bring personal issues into things, how could Scarlet tell her to 'shut the fuck up', Bea wasn't the one who'd gone around blurting over people's secrets. Bea was still far from getting over Scarlet blurting out Bea's bisexuality when Bea first moved to town. After everybody found out, Bea endured years and years of bullying; it'd haunted her self-esteem every since, the girl she'd loved had been her bully and it was all because of the stupid little God squad deluded bitch everybody else called Scarlet. Bea couldn't stand her, she still couldn't- she felt she was patronising and arrogant and a backstabbing- she stopped her trial of thought there because she far too close to exploding in Scarlet's face, her skeletal hands formed quivering weak fists at her side.

It didn't help when Scarlet was talking to her brother and she said; 'Bea never liked me.' in fact, it only added to the fire because in her head Bea was screaming, 'I did like you, you just outed me to out to the whole fucking town.' Her blood was almost boiling, the more she looked at the girl the more she wanted to throw a punch at her but Bea was past that. She'd fought enough kids at school, she couldn't bring that into her life again.

She also remembered that Asher had brought the girl- was her name Charlotte? Charlie? Carly? She couldn't remember now but she didn't want her first impression of her to be something awful like violent or psychopathic. So for those reasons, she bottled it. She could always want to Alby later. Even though he and Scarlet were on good terms, he always heard Bea out and could often agree with her even if he didn't intervene and get involved in the conflict.

When she saw how upset Sam was she was crushed and she looked at Scarlet and mumbled sourly; "I always knew you were a backstabber, didn't realise you were a sadist too- really? You set your brother on him like this after everything?" She stormed off from Scarlet to reconcile with Sam and Alby because she knew she'd lose the will to keep quiet if she stayed in Scarlet's presence any longer.

"Sam, you okay honey? It's okay. He's not gonna do anything, he's a dick Sam. But it's okay, They've gone outside, it's fine now," She sighed, she'd thought about touching his arm or hugging him- just offering some kind of reassurance but didn't want to startle to him anymore than Joshua had. So she relented from that and merely offered her support by presence and words.

She was relieved when Asher walked in with a naturally pretty brunette besides him and Bea offered up a kind but exhausted smile. "Ash, it's been ages. How you doing?" She asked gently looking over at the two. She smiled at the girl welcomingly and offered her name; "I'm Bea,"

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"I might be a boxer but by now means am I a fighter,"

Gum | Moose Blood || We Had A Pact | Creeper || Figuring It Out | SWMRS

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"I'm really sorry but it's okay. They're not inside with the others, so I'll introduce you and trust me; they're all genuinely nice people but they're protective? I guess, that's Bea you heard shouting but she's only like that when it comes to her friends I promise," He laughed nervously trying to assure himself it was okay and this kind of drama wasn't too abnormal. "Well, shall we?" He chuckled. "We can come back for our stuff let's just get introductions sorted first," He suggested leading the way up to the house.

Bea noticed their presence instantly and he briefly hugged the girl upon greeting though it felt like only half of her was there; Christ she'd lost so much weight since he last saw her and her summer tan was long gone replaced with pastiness and hollow eyes. "I'm good, been training hard across the country. Glad to be back around though; how you doin'? Bea, this is Charlie, Charlie Bea," He introduced calmly with a charming smile.

"You still doing you're arty farty crap?" He asked her jokingly and Bea smirked.

"Yeah still crap at it," She laughed softly. "I'd ask if you're still beating people up but you're not going to be training for regional gymnastics are y'. Well anyway, it's nice to meet you Charlie," She chimed gently. "Sorry about well, all of that. That's not normal for us really, to be honest,"

"So you're the one who knocked up my sister eh?"

Alby froze.

It wasn't one of his finer moments, he had to admit, but to be fair...he'd never been one for physical confrontation. He was snarky, he'd never had to actually use his fists for anything. He wouldn't know where to even start, getting between Sam and whoever-the-hell-that-guy-was. They were both bigger than him, anyway.

Didn't stop him from feeling like he should have done something. Because it would be all too easy to end up kneeling over Sam's still body again, moving fingers over his bruised throat, wondering if he was going to make it.

"So you're the one who knocked up my sister eh?"

Bea. Bea was the one who moved. So small, so fragile, and yet so much braver than he would ever be. She was snapping out something that he'd probably be proud of her for, under normal circumstances. Ash was there. Weird, he hadn't seen Ash in forever. Why was the whole word a little fuzzy, suddenly?

Did Scarlet just swear?

He was going to puke.

The blonde was out of the house in seconds, and Alby barely recognized her about-to-cry-face, as usual becoming torn about rather he should go to her, or Sam...

Sam won. Sam always won. Which was probably part of the reason why he'd ended up here.

"So you're the one who knocked up my sister eh?"

Finally, Alby moved. Bea had gotten to his boyfriend first, but in an attempt to put things back to normal, she was now talking to Asher and whoever that girl was. Alby didn't recognize her. He didn't really care, either. All he cared about was Sam. His Sam, who looked more than a little shaken.

Had he even realized what Scarlet's dumb ass brother had said? Had he put the pieces together? Did he know yet that Alby was even more of a dick than he'd accepted months ago?

Alby moved slowly across the room, and his hands shook a little as he reached for his boyfriend. "Sam?" he asked, trying to sound normal, calm, okay. "You alright?"

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The pressure on his chest wasn't easing at all, and everything suddenly seemed so loud. The only thing that stood out to him about Scarlet not only screaming at Bea, but also swearing, was only that it was too loud. But he didn't want to move, didn't want to be alone in case something was wrong, more wrong than he thought.

He just nodded as Bea spoke to him, not even taking in what she was saying, but instantly regretted it as soon as she moved away from him. Even though he was fully aware of how well he was breathing, of the absence of any human contact, let alone any threatening contact, he was still terrified. He couldn't get it out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. And then he suddenly realised what had been said, what he'd missed in his panic.

"So you're the one who knocked up my sister, eh?"
"Joshua, leave, that isn't Alby, that's Sam-"

In his mindset, it didn't seem to make sense- Scarlet and knocked up in the one sentence? With Alby thrown in there for good measure? It had to be some kind of mistake, it couldn't be true.

And then somebody put their hands on his arms, and he started a little- but then, when he realised it was Alby, leaned into his boyfriend. "Yeah, he didn't hurt me," he said, unable to say that he was fine. Because with what he'd just heard and the panic that still gripped his chest and mind, he wasn't fine. He just wanted a hug and a reassurance that everything was fine, that it was all some giant mix-up.

"Things I do for you, you fucking prick- he thought I was you," he muttered, wrapping his arms around Alby. He just wanted to stay like that and just relax.



Bea was... not what she was expecting. From the description, she'd been expecting somebody... bigger. But instead, Bea was waif-like- smaller even than Charlie herself, who struggled to keep some of her meals down thanks to some of her medication, and whose illness was determined to strip her body of anything that made her look healthy. But she had a friendly smile, and she accepted Charlie immediately.

"Likewise," she replied, then laughed at her comment. "It's fine, seriously- at least now we have something to talk about, right?" She said, shrugging a little and grinning. She thought of the bottles of pills hidden under her clothes in her bag and resisted the temptation to grimace. Taking them without anyone noticing wouldn't be easy- and skipping them wasn't an option. Not when she was barely recovered from that string of bad days, and especially not when it looked like she was going to have a few tiring days.

"So, Ash, you going to do the gentlemanly thing and introduce me to everyone else?" She asked, nudging him in the side with her elbow and grinning at him.

"I party all night, I laugh till I cry,"

Laugh Till I Cry | The Front Bottoms || Kids Just Wanna Dance | Emily's Army || Drown | Elizabeth Grace

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"I might be a boxer but by no means am I a fighter,"

Gum | Moose Blood || We Had A Pact | Creeper || Figuring It Out | SWMRS

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Her immediate impression of Charlie was positive, she struck her as being a girl with a bit of character and spunk; chill, likable but maybe kind of weird too. Bea would be happy to hang out with her so she was very open and welcoming towards her, she knew she was pretty a cool person and Asher was an incredibly harsh judge of character so she figured Charlie must be quite something for Ash to be hanging out with her, especially if he was going to bring her to meet all of his friends. That was what set it all in stone to her, trust of Ash's judgement.

Beatrice smiled softly, she was relieved to hear Sam talking to Alby and kept checking on the two over her shoulders but she didn't interrupt them- they needed each other and there was nothing she respected more than that, except maybe Vincent Van Goth or Sylvia Plath. She tilted her head slightly in agreement with Charlie's comment and chuckled softly; "Aha- yeah, could look at it that way. I'd offer you a drink but nothing is cold yet unless you want tap water?" She offered gently shrugging her shoulders a little. It only took her a couple of moments and she returned with one bag of food and drink, then another with all her personal bits in.

"Fuck, we better all talk sleeping arrangements and rooms now before someone gets pissy and tries to call shot gun, dibs or anything of that nature. I'm banning all of those things before they even start," She laughed gently as she set the food down in the kitchen and began to unpack drinks and food into the fridge and freezer, placing a set of Mexican beers- 'Coronas' specifically in the freezer just so they'd chill quickly and be something they could drink soon.

"Of course I am, I was just going to let everyone settle again but I-" He was cut off by Scarlet's brother who Asher would openly admit to not being best impressed by (as would Bea) but he remained politely and nodded, keeping his thoughts to himself and letting everything go. He personally thought the guy was a bit of a cock if he was going to throw himself at any old guy and then continue to call a bunch of legal adults 'younguns'. Though he figured his opinion on the other guy was irrelevant and to both of their relief, he left anyway and Bea whistled lowly and as ever refusing to keep her opinions to herself, she scorned quietly without waiting to check if he was out of ear shot; "Dickhead,".

Ash sighed and rolled his eyes. "For god's sake Bea," He sighed with a small laugh. "So, introductions. This lovely lady," He announced swaying over to Scarlet with a polite smile. "-is Scarlet Richardson the responsible. She and Bea have age old beef- no one knows why," He shrugged. He was about to introduce her to Alby and Sam but stopped himself when he noticed the intimacy of their private moment. It looked slightly...romantic but he'd never known Sam to be gay or the two in a relationship. He was surprised but didn't assume it to be true because he was only guessing off one moment but Alby, Alby was openly gay; Christ, he'd probably been out longer than Bea- so there was that. He shrugged it off because it was none of his business but he looked at Charlie and bit his tongue a little. "I'll introduce you to the guys in a little bit, I think they're having a moment, but Scarlet, Charlie, Charlie, Scarlet," He explained, praying Scarlet wouldn't interrogate him about his 2 month disappearance. He'd obviously tell them he'd been training but he didn't like lying about it, it made his stomach churn with anxiety and sickness.

Asher was an incredibly honourable, focused, moral, ethical and respectable person in terms of courting, socialising and politics; all of that he took very seriously and valued highly so to be reduced to lying to his closest friends to cover up the fact a stupid disease was eating away at his life expectancy came to him as being incredibly troubling and challenging.

"Guys, I'm going to grab my bag out the car. I've got some drinks too, so I'll make sure to put some beers in the freezer so we've got something drinkably cold in the next ten minutes," She explained before walking out the front to retrieve her things from her car.

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Feeling Alby's arms around him was the first thing to relieve any of the pressure on his chest. Alby's tone of voice gave away his concern, but Sam didn't react or care. He was already feeling better- and even if he wasn't going to admit it to Alby, it was mostly just because of his boyfriend's presence.

He looked up as Joshua reappeared, with an apology that was clearly written by Scarlet. Sam managed to grin a little, but ended up just rolling his eyes at the half-assed apology that came from Joshua himself. But when Joshua spoke to Alby, Sam's whole body turned cold. The only reason he would be telling Alby to look after Scarlet was if.. If... If what hadn't made sense before was true.

And that feeling only got worse as Alby said they needed to talk. Sam sighed, nodding a little. "Not here," was all he said by way of reply. He grabbed his boyfriend's hand and led him upstairs, to the room where he'd dumped his bags. Everything felt numb- the pressure on his chest was gone, replaced with a strange hollowness like somebody had ripped out his lungs. He sat down heavily on the bed, running his hands through his hair.

"Tell me I've got it wrong, that... that I've somehow misunderstood, that this isn't actually happening," he forced out. The thought of Scarlet being pregnant was strange enough, but the thought of Alby... he couldn't even think it. It felt so wrong. And all he could think about was the questions- how long? When did it happen? Had... had he and Alby been together when it happened? It felt like a bad dream, like a monster was about to leap out of the closet and murder them both. But at least then, he'd be able to wake up at some point. If this was happening, then... this wasn't something he could wake up from.



She laughed at Ash's response, swatting his arm gently. "I'm winding you up, you idiot," she said. But then they were interrupted by the guy from before, who gave a thoroughly unbelievable apology. Charlie watched the whole thing with an arched eyebrow. Her expression didn't change as Scarlet started rambling about food- but then Charlie quickly realised that she was either trying to avoid interrogation or just get it all behind them. So when Asher led her over to meet her, Charlie grinned.

"I've heard most go for pizza at these kinds of things, but if you want to cook, I'll pitch in," she said once Ash had introduced them. "Tell me, how much shit have you heard about me from Ash?" She asked, looking over at Ash and grinning teasingly at him. "I'll confirm what's true and what's not," she continued, looking more at Ash than Scarlet.

"I party all night, I laugh till I cry,"

Laugh Till I Cry | The Front Bottoms || Kids Just Wanna Dance | Emily's Army || Drown | Elizabeth Grace

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"I might be a boxer but by no means am I a fighter,"

Gum | Moose Blood || We Had A Pact | Creeper || Figuring It Out | SWMRS

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Ash looked away embarrassedly, though there was nothing Scarlet could bring up because he hadn't spoken to anyone since the party, he was embarrassed because he knew if he had, he'd have said far too much to get away with. He kind of bit his lip, whilst the two girls spoke a bad habit of his that always occurred under pressure or nerve, this kind of social interaction brought him amounts of anxiety because he could feel the weight of Charlie's eyes on him, she was digging (not in a malicious way, a curious one) but it did worry him. He didn't understand why but these things always did, he always felt like he'd disappoint or do the wrong thing.

Bea kind of stalked off when Scarlet was brought into the conversation. Her hatred for the other girl was out of the question so she abandoned the situation to get her things and choose a room to set up her things the way she wanted to.

Asher sighed as he watched Bea go but turned his attention back to Scarlet and Charlie. He thought about the offer but shook his head lightly. "I can't I'm afraid, thanks for the offer though Scarlet," He replied calmly, as always if he wasn't thinking about family, friends or TB; he was thinking about his boxing career. "Charlie do you need anything from the car? I was just gonna lock it quickly before I forget,"

Outside, Bea lingered alone. She'd been crippled by cramps lately and not even menstrual related cramps and when she put a hand against her front, she could feel her ribs even through her t-shirt. She hated it and her weight had gotten to a point now where she was scared but she didn't know what to do. She leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette, popping it between her teeth for a moment to put her lighter away and then inhaling deeply. She held the toxic smoke in her lungs for a long moment, testing herself but she didn't last long; she was so weak anyway in seconds her lips were forced to part to allow the poison out and the oxygen in. She sighed shaking her head, she shouldn't have come. The idea of wearing a swim suit made her choke and her stomach churn with nausea but it was practically inevitable at a beach holiday.

She gaze down at her body setting her free hand on her stomach and grimacing with shame. She almost felt the urge to cry as she thought about it but she was Beatrice Candor, of course she didn't but she thought about it. She refused to though and did the typical Bea thing, she kept smoking, then stubbed it out and collected her bags like nothing was wrong and like nothing was falling apart.

---

---

Scarlet was pregnant. And Alby was the father. Sam couldn't even look at Alby. He just stared at the floor a foot or so in front of his feet, feeling like he was about to hurl. "Were you going to tell me about you two sleeping together? Or did that just come into it when you found out she was pregnant?" He asked. He was angry, he was confused, he was afraid... Because what did the future hold for them? No matter what way he looked at it, it wasn't going to end well.

"Of all people, it had to be Scarlet. Scarlet motherfucking Richardson, second only to Mother Theresa herself," he said. "Why?" He demanded, finally managing to look up at Alby. "How the hell did you get yourself into this mess?" He asked, running his hands down his face. Of all people, Scarlet. Scarlet, the perfect church-girl. His life just seemed to be going from one train-wreck to another. A sudden, sharp, cold shock, ran down his back as he realised that, before long, he mightn't have anywhere to stay. What if Alby kicked him out? What if they broke up? All he could think about was "What if...?"

Everything had been going so well, and now it was all crashing around his shoulders.



She smiled at Scarlet's comment and nodded. The baking actually looked really good, so she snagged a brownie and took a bite of it. "Oh my god, Scarlet, these are so good," she remarked once she'd swallowed. It was then that she spotted Bea leaving, and it took her a second to reply to Ash. "What? Oh, uh, don't worry, I'll go get it myself. You stay here and catch up with your friends," she said, swiping another brownie and heading outside. Once her bags were retrieved, she approached Bea, the brownie held out as an offering.

"They'll kill you someday, you know," she remarked lightly, nodding her head at the cigarette. She shouldered the heavier of her bag and sighed. "Bea, are you okay? It's just... even after that argument, you look way worse than anyone else. I know we've only just met, but even so, I like you. And, I spoke to Scarlet for thirty seconds and felt like I was talking to a priest. And now I need to talk to someone who's not so... saintly," she said, grinning a little.

"I party all night, I laugh till I cry,"

Laugh Till I Cry | The Front Bottoms || Kids Just Wanna Dance | Emily's Army || Drown | Elizabeth Grace

---

---

Bea, jolted slightly when she heard Charlie's voice and quickly let go of her stomach. The comment about cigarettes made her laugh a little. Bea didn't mind though, she was hardly going to be defensive or snotty about it; she knew exactly what she was doing and the only reason she didn't bother quitting because what was the point when you considered all her other bad habits? "To be honest with you Charlie, it's not my worst habit," She sighed gently and she looked over at the girl with a perfectly welcoming expression but she did appear mildly confused by the other girl's kindness and how she approached her.

You okay?

She thought about the question for a long time, far too long for someone who was okay and she shrugged her shoulders gently. "I would be, if I could control a few things in my life- if you know what I mean," She explained vaguely but softly. "Kind of self conscious, don't want to put a swimming suit on but that's juvenile- I can handle that. Kind of pissed off and I think you've already picked up on how that's aimed at. It goes way back though our issues, please don't judge me for my reaction earlier and I'm kind of upset but don't really know why- probably due my period," She tried to joke afterwards but it wasn't funny and the forced scoff of laughter she made tasted like ash in her mouth.

She liked Charlie and she also liked the expression behind Ash's eyes that she'd noticed as he'd introduced her. Ash was clearly happy with he company and as his friend, it made Bea kind of happy too and put Charlie well in her good books.

"Yeah, I get what you mean about Scarlet but fuck those things anyway, girl to girl- tell me about Ash," She encouraged with a gentle expression. Bea was the definition of rough diamond appearance wise; she had the face of an angel and great skin but she was skeletal and her hair was kind too short, she sometimes wandered if she grew her hair would people like her more? Would it make her prettier? Then there was her personality, always with good intentions, artistic, talented but tragically flawed with her worst habits, weakness, dependency, loneliness. A rough diamond. She thought about herself biologically all her genetic factors were great but the environmental factors; the ones that changed her the most- they'd left her pitiful and something people gaze at in dismay or despair. She knew the look too well.

---

---

"I might be a boxer but by now means am I a fighter,"

Gum | Moose Blood || We Had A Pact | Creeper || Figuring It Out | SWMRS

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---

"You okay Scarlet?" Ash asked gently looking over at her, she didn't seem her self. Of course, he hadn't seen her for at least two months but she something was very off and different about her- he couldn't understand it though. Although Ash was far from a Christian and an infamous low key bad boy, he did respect that Scarlet may believe whatever it was she wanted to- he wouldn't prejudge her for that or mock her. He found Bible text quite interesting and beautiful to listen to anyway, he just didn't believe it. "Come on, catch me up. I haven't seen anybody for like two months, I'm gagging for the gossip," He told her, trying to lighten the mood. He sat down at the kitchen table and looked at her with a friendly expression.

And Bea, Bea looked terrible but he wouldn't even try and talk to her about things, she was far too defensive and 'shouty' so he'd leave her be. Alby would look out for her anyway, he trusted that couldn't have changed even in two long months.

"I party all night, I laugh till I cry,"

Laugh Till I Cry | The Front Bottoms || Kids Just Wanna Dance | Emily's Army || Drown | Elizabeth Grace

---

---

A normal person in this situation might have the done the whole; 'Don't be silly babe, you're gorgeous! I'm so jealous!' but going through what she had gone through, Bea was quite away there was nothing worse than dishonesty, sympathy and fake compliments. Charlie, she credited as being an intelligent person, one who wouldn't appreciate a false comment anyway even if it was meant to be a pleasant one. She smiled at the other girl and simply nodded understandingly, a silent' 'I get you'. She let the subject pass and laughed gently as she began to talk about Asher.

She took a long drag from her cigarette, inhaling deeply but politely blowing the fumes in the opposite direction to Charlie figuring she wasn't a smoker after her previous comment. She knew Ash well enough to know he was a raging feminist and huge on respecting women but she hadn't figured it was to the extent Charlie described and she laughed briefly, it wasn't unbelievable.

"Aha yeah, he's high maintenance too- with his hair I mean. I used to wind him up that he only boxed to try and keep his masculinity," She joked gently but the laughter turned into ash in her mouth the moment Charlie suddenly doubled over, Bea quickly moved to help hold her up, her cigarette falling from her finger tips onto the pavement as she moved setting her arm gently around her shoulder to support her. She was kind of shock and lost her voice for a long, frightening moment. Charlie's expression of pain shook Bea to the core.

"Fuck Charlie, you okay? Is there anything I can do? What's wrong?" She asked anxiously, not quite sure what to do. She'd never been in a situation like this and had no idea of why she might be in pain. It panicked her but she didn't want to alarm the others in case Charlie wouldn't want that and she overcomplicated it all so much in her head, she ended up doing nothing but holding Charlie's shoulders and talking to her.

---

---

"I might be a boxer but by now means am I a fighter,"

Gum | Moose Blood || We Had A Pact | Creeper || Figuring It Out | SWMRS

---

---

Ash was slightly caught off guard and alarmed by Scarlet's sudden off load and he had to consciously stop himself from physically wincing as her pitch wavered throughout the rant but he obviously was prepared to listen to her and hear out. He'd do it for any one of his friends or even a stranger really.

"Shit Scarlet, chill out, take a seat just talk me through it. No one's world is ending. You know me, so just talk to me. What's happened? I know Bea's a bit fucked, I could tell when I saw her but she's got Alby and Sam. So let's ignore that for now. Alby and Sam dating is hardly a problem if they're happy. So what's happened to you Scarlet? Why is everyone going to judge you?" He exhaled gently looking over at her, surprisingly calm considering, he shrugged at her question about Charlie.

"She's not technically my girlfriend, we're just...I don't know, hanging out but I like her, y'know," He avoided answering where he'd met her because it put the thought of hospitals and tuberculosis in his head. The 60% chance he had of death before he was 22. He shuddered at the thought and closed his eyes trying to collect his thoughts. "Just in town, but tell me what's going on. You're upset about something aren't you?" He replied to her eventually, answering the question the way he did because it was the closest to the truth he could get without revealing that something was wrong.

"I party all night, I laugh till I cry,"

Laugh Till I Cry | The Front Bottoms || Kids Just Wanna Dance | Emily's Army || Drown | Elizabeth Grace

---

---

Bea relaxed a little when the girl started talking again, she let go of the other girl and sat down besides her when Charlie sank to the floor. "I wouldn't. Trust me, if there's anyone in this house who understands hiding a weakness or flaw or problem, it's me. It's okay, I won't tell anybody," She assured gently, offering a reassuring smile, hoping that she'd start to feel better soon because Bea wouldn't admit it out loud but Charlie had kind of freaked her out a little back then, but she seemed to be a lot better now. Slightly short of breath but she didn't look agonised like she had done.

She thought about the girl's question and her lip curled inwards between her teeth anxiously. She closed her eyes and took a breath before slowly nodding her head. "Okay...okay, secret for a secret. What's your explanation then?" She asked lightly. She really hoped this wasn't going to be a massive thing, ghoul stones or something and Charlie was just a bit embarrassed about it and hadn't had treatment yet but she was booked in for the weekend and it'd be fine because then Bea wouldn't have to tell her anything huge. Maybe she could tell her about being an obsessive drinker but she wouldn't have to confess the darkest of her sins.

The one sin she couldn't resist and help, the one sin that in itself could be the end of her. She knew even from the beginning, the true darkness and danger of her habit and she didn't even understand how she'd fallen this far for it to be this big of a problem but it had and now one way or another she had to deal with it or it was only going to end one way and that would be her name added to a list before it was turned into a statistic for a study with a title like; 'Number of teenage deaths involving drugs' or '2016 Number of fatal drug overdose cases'.

Her stomach churned.

---

---

"I might be a boxer but by now means am I a fighter,"

Gum | Moose Blood || We Had A Pact | Creeper || Figuring It Out | SWMRS

---

---

Ash listened to her patiently, not reacting at all until she'd had a chance to get everything on her chest and get her point across. He didn't interrupt her, he didn't pull any faces- he didn't even move, he just watched her speak and nodded along at times. He couldn't believe what she was saying though but he hid his surprise incredibly well, it wasn't even hinted at across his angular, strong face. Not even a sign of what he was thinking or feeling appeared; like he always had done, he portrayed the perfect mask. He'd fallen into the habit of wearing such a mask a lot more as of late, considering his current predicament.

He heard her out and sighed softly when she finished; "Shit Scarlet, how'd you manage that one huh?" He asked sympathetically. "Well, I can't make the kid disappear, Alby less gay or anything but I can promise you one thing and that's maybe with the exception of Bea, everyone's gonna have your back Scarlet. You won't have to do anything alone, y'know that right? I can't say your parents will be chill because their catholic right? And I don't want to lie to you, maybe they'll fine, maybe not- I couldn't possible no, but I'm not going to fill you on false hope but even if they take it really badly and throw you out, we'd all help you out. You could probably stay with Alby if you needed till you could get on your feet, we could all help with doing things for you to keep things afloat- Scar, you'll be fine. This isn't going to ruin your life y'know, just be calm okay. Be you, every thing that's ever happened between everyone here you've been the one to keep your cool about it. Just approach it with a clear mind and you'll be fine," He told her all of this without thinking into it too much because he wanted to straight up tell her the truth without sugar coating or over thinking anything, so he just went for it, rambled his words a bit and told her what he genuinely thought and he could only hope his honesty would be appreciated it because in truth, he didn't really have anything else to offer.