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Maynard "Baalberith" Phipps
The chief secretary of Hell, he's in charge of keeping records of possessions, contracts, etc. He can be present everywhere and anywhere a demon and mortal make an accord, so he is a very busy man. He could do with some loosening up.
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The Infinite Void
a character in “The Multiverse”, originally authored by RolePlayGateway, as played by CrashQueen
Description
Phipps is a man, standing 6'2, dressed in a finely tailored Gucci suit with a black tie and gaudy white shoes. He's a built man, looking as if he takes great pride in his appearance, but really, that's just the way he chose to look. He hasn't done a single bench press in 8000 years! His eyes are an unmistakably demonic red, but obscured somewhat by Oliver Peoples horn-rimmed glasses. Phipps just doesn't give a shit if people see him or not, so he makes no effort to hide the twisted horns that sprout from his hair, nor the spade-tipped tail that flicks casually alongside his legs. He is quite physically attractive by human standards, and has used this to his advantage to coerce people into writing even more terms and clauses into the contracts they strike.
Personality
Being a demon, Phipps is clever and devilishly charming. He can swoon a lady just as easily as he could lop her head off with an axe (not that he'd do that and risk blood spatters on his suit!). He is a hard-drinker and recreational drug user, with a 'what do I care, I'm immortal!' attitude.
But he is a man who is VERY serious about his line of work. When he puts on the business pants, he is cold and unfeeling, sacrificing whatever empathy he may have to ensure that the Devil gets his due. It is impossible to bargain with him, because he is the original stubborn mule.
He isn't as ravenous as his kin, and rarely eats at all, even to keep up appearances.
Equipment
Phipps carries a sleek black-leather briefcase that seems to have no limit to the amount of papers it can hold, as well as inkwells and quills to notorize any agreements made. His briefcase contains records of EVERY possession, contract, and temptation ever made since Lucifer's Fall, from the expulsion of Adam and Eve to the kid who stole a candy bar just 5 minutes ago. His job is very important.
History
Phipps has always been and always will be. In the courts of Hell, he is the highest appointed pontiff, but he is only summoned for extreme altercations, and usually a double takes his place. He really hates sitting and doing nothing, after all. He has the ability to become omnipresent, as it is part of his duty to act as a witness to any agreement between demon and mortal. He's also there if a mortal attempts to wheedle out of a contract or feels they are wrongfully in Hell.
âDid you READ the fine print?â
Baalberith has had it with your shit, now get on the boat!
Even so, his job can be quite stressful, as more humans whine and bitch about contracts and more demons make their way to the surface and attempt to perform unauthorized transactions, so he appreciates any instance he can to loosen up. He'll usually send at least ONE facet of himself to a bar constantly, to drink the stress away.
So begins...
Maynard "Baalberith" Phipps's Story
- Seen 20 Times • Page 1 of 1
The Secretary looked over at the creature lounging in the sunlight and wrinkled his nose. Oh joy, he was here. As much of an inconvenience and an eyesore the proto-demon might have been, Phipps supposed that he had just as much a right as everybody else to life. He wasn't the kind to linger on death and destruction. He preferred order, documentation, and forms signed in triplicate.
He sauntered to the bar, dressed in his Armani finest, removing his sunglasses to reveal a shamelessly red pair of eyes. But if that didn't scream 'demon!' enough, there were always the equally as red horns growing from his finely coiffed hair, and the long. whiplike tail flicking behind him haughtily.
He ponied up and tapped the bar. "J & B on the rocks, if you don't mind."
He sauntered to the bar, dressed in his Armani finest, removing his sunglasses to reveal a shamelessly red pair of eyes. But if that didn't scream 'demon!' enough, there were always the equally as red horns growing from his finely coiffed hair, and the long. whiplike tail flicking behind him haughtily.
He ponied up and tapped the bar. "J & B on the rocks, if you don't mind."
"I think I'd burst into flames if I were forced to wear sweatpants," Phipps chuckled. "And Wal-Mart is one of the boss' biggest clients, so I dare not besmirch the name by using it in connection to this toilet bowl. But the drinks are cheap and the company is more interesting than the other places. Isn't that everybody's reason?"
"I work in temptations and negotiations, primarily," he replied. "I'm the Notary Magnifique, if you will. Taxes are, as the great Lestrade puts it 'not my division.'" He flicked his tail and watched another finely-tuned gentleman enter the bar and silently admired his good taste, lowering his Oliver People's glasses just a hint.
The demon's smile faded just a tad as he took his J & B and took a HEALTHY swig of it before replying as he swirled the glass. "Ah, yes, the 'do-gooder'. Got the bad touch from the Son of God and thinks he has to be a superhero. A thorn in the bosses side. I haven't met him, personally..." He set down the glass as he realized that he was gripping it so tightly that hairline fractures were starting to appear in it.
"But I do know him via the mountain of deskwork he caused for me. So no, I'm not overly fond of Case 0643525774."
"But I do know him via the mountain of deskwork he caused for me. So no, I'm not overly fond of Case 0643525774."
The demon pondered Fletcher's request and tapped his fingers rhythmically on the bar as he pored through his expansive, infinity-old memory for any juicy tidbit he could share without violating company policy.
"Hmmmm, did you know he likes to wear high heels and garters when he thinks he's alone? That Of Nazareth fellow REALLY did a number on him."
Sip.
It might have been a lie, given Phipps was a demon. But what could it possibly hurt?
"Hmmmm, did you know he likes to wear high heels and garters when he thinks he's alone? That Of Nazareth fellow REALLY did a number on him."
Sip.
It might have been a lie, given Phipps was a demon. But what could it possibly hurt?
"Of course." Phipps nodded, pleased with himself. "Mind if I smoke? Oh wait, I forgot where we were."
He removed a cigarette from a silver case in his jacket pocket and placed it in his mouth, lighting the end with a bit of flame that sparked from his fingers.
He removed a cigarette from a silver case in his jacket pocket and placed it in his mouth, lighting the end with a bit of flame that sparked from his fingers.
Phipps removed the cigarette from his lips with the other hand before shaking with his right. "Pleasure, my real name tends to set ears to bleeding, so you may call me Phipps. Lovely instrument you have there, i suspect you have it insured?"
"That's your choice," he replied. His job was to make sure contracts were airtight, not make them himself. He didn't push people into things. "I was just asking, given how hazardous and malicious the world can be, especially to objects of such refined beauty."
He ordered another drink, noticing that the bar was emptying itself.
He ordered another drink, noticing that the bar was emptying itself.
Phipps entered the bar looking more than a bit harried, talking to what appeared to be nobody until he turned his head and a Hell-built bluetooth-like device was seen in his ear. He didn't look happy with what he was hearing.
"What do you mean- 'the contract was not binding'?! Don't these rookies know how to even make a deal nowadays?" He spoke sharply, his obviously demonic tail twitching irritably at his ankles. "Yeah yeah, I'm working on it right now. Uh huh. Omnipresent, remember? Okay- fine, see you in my office yesterday."
He turned the device off and ponied to the bar. "J & B on the rocks, please. And make it snappy."
"What do you mean- 'the contract was not binding'?! Don't these rookies know how to even make a deal nowadays?" He spoke sharply, his obviously demonic tail twitching irritably at his ankles. "Yeah yeah, I'm working on it right now. Uh huh. Omnipresent, remember? Okay- fine, see you in my office yesterday."
He turned the device off and ponied to the bar. "J & B on the rocks, please. And make it snappy."
"Much obliged," Phipps replied and drank heartily, still agitated. It was lucky that he did not notice Legion immediately, especially since he was in such a foul mood today. He might have even been angry enough to actually USE his hellborn powers. Maybe.
A pointed ear flicked in Legion's direction. That voice, it couldn't possibly be?...
A glance behind him with a discreetly manifested eye at the nape of his neck showed that Phipp's dreaded assumption was right. Ugh. LEGION.
Now, it wasn't that Phipps hated the demon himself- Phipps found it very hard to care about any one person. But he did care about his work, and Legion had racked up quite a shit-load of papers that the Secretary had to review, then testify in the High Court about, AND notorize AND get testimony from various other hard-to-reach demons concerning him. In fact, one of his many aspects was STILL stamping papers out. A little over 2000 years was barely enough to cover the extent of the damage.
"Messiah-fucker," he grumbled.
A glance behind him with a discreetly manifested eye at the nape of his neck showed that Phipp's dreaded assumption was right. Ugh. LEGION.
Now, it wasn't that Phipps hated the demon himself- Phipps found it very hard to care about any one person. But he did care about his work, and Legion had racked up quite a shit-load of papers that the Secretary had to review, then testify in the High Court about, AND notorize AND get testimony from various other hard-to-reach demons concerning him. In fact, one of his many aspects was STILL stamping papers out. A little over 2000 years was barely enough to cover the extent of the damage.
"Messiah-fucker," he grumbled.
Dare he go over and pretend to be a gentleman? Well, if there was another thing he cared about besides his work, it'd be making impressions. He forced as smile, gathering up his drink and making his way towards the other demon and Jade, his tail still flicking irritably. "Fancy meeting you here, Gerasene," he greeted with bated venom. "Not getting into more trouble are we? And how have things been since we had to let you go?"
He cast a glance at the Scrit and took a sip of his drink. "Developed a taste for the mortal strange, I see..."
He cast a glance at the Scrit and took a sip of his drink. "Developed a taste for the mortal strange, I see..."
"I'm still working on the original sin papers. It's not enough you had to be let go, it's all the moral conundrum that comes with suddenly 'going good'. A second Great Flood of paperwork, practically. It's just fortunate there's so many bits of me."
Something on his person buzzed, but he'd let it go. Let them figure it out themselves for once. "As for Wing City? I don't know. I suppose I'm here particulary because so many employees are here. There's a constant, endless stream of contracts that need confirmation."
He shrugged non-commitally.
"Unless you manage to fuck up horrendously a second time, I've got underlings to handle the minor bits. Things that don't require a seal of approval."
Something on his person buzzed, but he'd let it go. Let them figure it out themselves for once. "As for Wing City? I don't know. I suppose I'm here particulary because so many employees are here. There's a constant, endless stream of contracts that need confirmation."
He shrugged non-commitally.
"Unless you manage to fuck up horrendously a second time, I've got underlings to handle the minor bits. Things that don't require a seal of approval."
"You seem to have done alright, all things considered." Phipps smirked, knowing that he still had his job and thus that made him superior to the once-mighty general. "Still avoiding pigs?"
As much as he was loathe to admit it, Phipps was enjoying this conversation despite himself. He pulled up a chair and ordered another drink while he was at it. "Suprised you haven't come into any further trouble with these roaming angels I've heard about. Going around and cleansing demons like they think it makes a difference."
He raised an eyebrow and looked at Legion from over the tops of his Oliver Peoples glasses. "What exactly DOES an unemployed demon such as yourself do to pass the years?"
He raised an eyebrow and looked at Legion from over the tops of his Oliver Peoples glasses. "What exactly DOES an unemployed demon such as yourself do to pass the years?"
"Oh that old fogey in the Penthouse puts so much faith in his little pet-projects, and the most of them just end up down here one way or another."
Phipps was asexual by nature, and even if he felt the need to screw the life out of something, he would vomit a Red Sea's worth of bile before even considering stooping to a human.
He paused for a second, his secretary sense tingling, before carrying on.
Phipps was asexual by nature, and even if he felt the need to screw the life out of something, he would vomit a Red Sea's worth of bile before even considering stooping to a human.
He paused for a second, his secretary sense tingling, before carrying on.
"After much deliberation." He nodded. "Yes, I suppose things are more or less the same. Dis has had a few revolts and the boss is picking and choosing new generals for the coming Armageddon. I wouldn't put too much stock in it- he's been saying the same thing since humans discovered the world wasn't flat."
"Just mine," he reassured. "And a few overzealous reclaimers, but you've evaded them thus far." He finished his drink. "I should let you get back to your little pets, should I not?"
Phipps could not comprehend being friends with humans, so he opted to say nothing and instead clinked the ice in his glass about. It bothered him, somehow, that a hellborn would ever consider themselves equal and not above the surface dwellers.
- Seen 20 Times • Page 1 of 1