Weirdest thing said to you.

[HazeyHaze]

"You have sausage toes." Says my older sister.

1st random woman at the grocery store: "How far along are you?"
Me: "Six months, due in October."
1st random woman at the grocery store: Congrats man, didn't know men could have babies!
Me (to my mom): So, I'm apparently pregnant and a man now. Did you know, I'm six months? It's a boy. I'm also going to be rich, because I'm a dude, who's going to have a baby from his pee pee.

2nd random lady at the grocery store: Aw, how far along are you sweetie?
Me: Seriously? I'm fat lady, get over it!
2nd random lady at the grocery store (to my mom): So, your son can get pregnant?

Really? I. Am. A. FEMALE. O.o

"Have you ever tasted the rainbow?" Asks my best friend, one summer evening. Really?

And there are more to come, but I can't post them right now.

[phacades]

"Can I rub your face?"

It was said by my friend, we had been talking for a while and suddenly she stopped talking and kept looking at me, so I was like.. "Lynn, you alright?"
Lynn: "Can I ask you something?"
Me: "Yeah sure, what is it?"
Lynn" "Can I rub your face?"

I was kind of awkward, but I went with it, so in the end she jokingly rubbed my face, haha.

[DeathScythe386]

Me and my friend were hanging out in the classroom since the teachers were out for the day and....

Her: Scythe come over here
Me: Why
Her: Do it
Me: *leans*
Her: *whispers* I'm gonna eat your dog.

....Seriously.

[sleepy tea]

I was on holiday over the pond in New York a couple of years ago. A man came up to me and told me 'you have a very lucky face' before walking off.

[GentleMister]

"Humans can lick fingers too."

Everyone has to know that story, *shivers*.

[Onihitokuchi]

"Human Breast Milk Ice Cream should be way healthier than Cow's milk, because we are the only mammal's who drink another mammal's milk."

>.>

[yacoblytton]

From angel: "Im gonna cover you in poopie"

[Aleyn.S.N.]

My mom: You did what?

Me: I got a B on my test...

Mom: STOP PLAYING WITH BUGS

....

[aerineth]

More of a misfired chat message overheard, but really hilarious out of context:

"If you don't block, they will ninjitsu you"

[TavaresM]

"I want to sop you up with a biscuit."

[Miraculousjewxx]

Ok so i was at an amusment park and this guy says il buy you a weiner if you give me 10 bucks im like mommy help me!

[Squeekey]

There's a few that I can't remember, but the latest weirdest thing I've heard in a conversation I was in was

"Imagine if you were a penis. Just hanging off of somebody all day. How weird."

[JellynPB]

"Can I pick your nose?"

Yeeeeah I had a huge crush on this guy till then. xD

[~KaiOfTheStars~]

A friend, who will remain nameless, told me this one rainy day when we were stuck inside with nothing to do. I decided to make us some french fries. My friend picks one up and eats it.

My friend: "Wow, these taste like toe skin."
Me: "How do you know what toe skin tastes like?"
My friend: "I eat it when I'm bored."
Me: "Thanks for the culinary vote of confidence."

All in all, a really odd conversation. o_O

[shotashotanightfever]

This was told to me by an alcoholic/drug addict;
"Hey, wanna blow?" This woman just came up to me in a public restroom and offered me a blow aka coke. I have been offered cocaine before. When I was 15. I didn't take it of course, but that was a weird experience.

[Cheshire Kitten]

I got this in a text from a friend of mine and I'm sort of ashamed of it because this is a person I see and associate with on a daily basis. Here goes, she texts me and says "Do u kno were I cn gt sum egs 4 my sun, he is lack toast nd tolerant plus he hs 80 hd." This happened a week ago and I haven't spoken to her since.